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Jay stood at the helm of the Albatross, holding the wheel steady and looking over the ship with a contented smile.
Gill and Pretzel were lightly “sparring,” Gillion calling out words of encouragement to his frogtopus, and Chip and Ollie were giggling over whatever prank they were planning next. She knew that Old Man Earl was somewhere below deck- preparing the next meal if the delicious smell was anything to go off of. Everything seemed perfect.
But there was a slight chill to the air. The wind flowed around her a little more wildly than it should for a calm summer’s evening. On the horizon, Jay could see clouds forming.
“Guys!” She called down to those on deck. “I think a storm’s blowing in!”
Gillion immediately stopped what he was doing and a slight glow surrounded him for a moment.
“Jay’s right,” he said, gathering Pretzel gently and putting her in her glass tank again. “It’ll be a long one, from what I can tell.”
The crew made their way belowdecks, and Jay stood up top for a little while longer, aware of the dull pain centered on her shoulders and upper back. Once she was sure no one else was on the deck, she walked back to the wall under the helm. She pushed in a loose board, revealing the small flight of stairs she proceeded to follow.
She was greeted by her familiar room: no roof above her so the stars shined down brightly on the wide-open circle filled with pillows, blankets, and scattered gold pieces. Locking the door, Jay shinnied out of her jacket and began to unwind the bandages around her back carefully.
As the bandages fell, she slowly unfurled her wings.
Bright red with golden undertones, her wings looked a little less healthy than they should. I need to preen again soon, Jay thought to herself as she started to gather more bandages. It’s been a couple weeks or so.
The crew had no idea about her wings. It had been hard at first, to constantly have them bound to her back, but she had seized an opportunity when the Albatross was being built: sneaking into the ship’s design a pathway to a large open room under the sky, hidden by the helm platform, where she could stretch out her wings unseen by prying eyes. If Chip had seen it in the blueprints, he hadn’t commented on it, and Gillion was too busy “destroying evils” in Loffinlot to pay attention to the finer details of shipmaking.
After seeing her cousin Tay’s bright red wings unfurled in front of Gillion back on Joaldo, Chip had pressed her for an explanation- for both why her cousin had wings and for why “she didn’t.” She’d told him the truth, but not the whole truth.
“Red wings are the mark of a Ferin loyal to the Navy,” she’d explained. “It helps us- them- identify who’s truly devoted to the cause.”
“What happens if someone isn’t loyal?”
“They turn a different color. I think Drey’s turned black right before he left to become a pirate.”
After she’d waved away his pointed look at her back with a vague “I was born different,” Chip had seemed satisfied with her explanation and hadn’t brought them up again. But the exchange had left Jay hyper-vigilant about her own red wings, seeing as they signified her continued loyalty to the very organization the Riptide pirates were fighting against.
But it was probably fine. She had her room. She had her bandages, swiped from the medkit every few days or so. She’d gotten used to the constant pressure and the prickly soreness.
She sat a little longer in her room, carefully stretching out for just a few more minutes-
Plip! A raindrop landed on Jay’s nose, causing her to look up. While she was relaxing, the sky had gotten much darker and rain had begun to fall, slowly but surely gaining speed.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, FERIN?” She heard a crotchety old voice yell. “DINNER’S GETTING COLD, AND ORANGE EGGS ARE BEST HOT!”
“On my way!” She called out, grabbing her bandages and hastily binding her wings again. She threw her jacket back on and ran towards the main room belowdecks, making sure to secure the hidden panel leading to her room.
“Where’d you disappear to?” Chip said with his mouth full, shoveling eggs at lighting speed.
“Just took a little longer to come down,” Jay said, sliding into place in front of her plate with a quick “thank you” to Earl.
Dinner was always a quick affair on the Albatross, and before too long the crew was beginning to settle in for the night.
“I’ll take first watch,” Jay called out as she did every night- it gave her a reason to be on deck when most would be settling into bedrolls in the sleeping quarters, and after she woke up whoever was next, she’d take advantage of their groggy state to slip behind the hidden panel to her room.
“Hold on,” Gillion said, taking her arm. “We should stay below decks during this storm, to avoid sickness. Days-long storms such as these can cause severe illness in those not constantly moist.”
“What if there’s a threat?” Jay pulled her arm back. “Something might take advantage of the storm and attack us.”
“Not in this storm. This is a whirltide.” Gillion said. “Any sea creature knows to stay away from whirltides, as they suck in ships and if they’re lucky, spit them back out with minimum damage and maximum sogginess. This is dangerous, yes, but the only thing we can do is ride it out- belowdecks.”
Grumbling, Jay reluctantly headed down to the sleeping quarters, where the bedroll she usually pretended to have slept in each morning had been spruced up a little. Chip hastily jumped back from the pillow he was fluffing and leaned “casually” against the wood plank his hammock hung on, sporting a wide grin.
Sharing a lighthearted laugh at the sight, she and Gillion took to their respective spots, Chip flipped into his hammock, and they all settled in for the night.
Jay woke to the feeling of pressure, not only against her back but pressing on her entire body. As she groggily opened her eyes, she was greeted by a slight headache and the feeling that the walls and ceiling were entirely too close for comfort- a painful reminder of the reason her secret room didn’t have a roof.
Easing herself to a sitting position, she felt a slight wave of nausea rise up, but she quickly pushed it down. Looking around, she realized she was the last person awake. Chip and Gillion must’ve already gone to get some breakfast.
She took notice of the fact that as she sat, her wings twinged with a spike of pain- no doubt the result of her rush to the main room last night, carelessly tucking them into the bandages under her jacket. It always hurt badly when she didn’t properly fold them in, but it wasn’t like she had complete privacy right now. Although, if the storm was done, she could have it in a moment.
Soothed by the thought of relieving the pressure, Jay began to head towards the staircase to the top of the deck, hoping to avoid-
“Jay! Come join us!”
-Chip and Gillion.
“Why aren’t you two above deck?” She asked as she walked into the main room where Chip, Gillion, and Ollie sat, Chip and Gill sitting over a game of chess.
“The whirltide is still raging,” Gillion explained. “It’s not safe yet to go up.”
“So I challenged Gill to a chess rematch and here we are!” Chip said, triumphantly knocking Gillion’s king over with his bishop. “Checkmate!”
Gillion sighed deeply, then held out his arm to Chip. “As promised.”
“Yess!” Chip pumped his fist, then grabbed a nearby blue pen.
“What’s going on?” Jay sat at the table next to Ollie, ignoring her protesting wings and settling into a semi-comfortable position.
“Chip bet Gillion that if he won, he got to draw a tattoo on him!” Ollie whispered excitedly as Chip began to trace a wave pattern up Gillion’s arm.
“It’ll wash off in a few days,” Chip explained as he inked. “But he’ll look pretty badass until it does!”
The rest of the day was spent below, the crew keeping busy with various games and bets and juices from Earl. As it wore on, Jay became more and more aware of her growing headache and the frequent twinges of pain from her wings. She sat against the wall, content to sit and watch the shenanigans that Chip and Ollie got up to, occasionally joined by Gillion, and “uh-huh’d” and “mm-hmm’d” when she needed to add to the conversation.
As the night wound to a close, Jay inched towards the staircase, hoping to see a clear sky that she could use as an excuse to escape and stretch out.
Instead, she was greeted by a rainstorm that seemed even more intense than the previous night’s.
Resigning herself to another night’s rest trapped below, she wiggled into her bedroll and left a candle burning so Chip and Gillion could see whenever they decided to come down. She could hear their muffled whispers from the other room, and, well, she was too tired to try and eavesdrop.
Her eyes felt heavy, but she couldn’t manage to fall asleep. She tossed and turned, trying to find a position that didn’t make her back scream, until she heard a voice coming from the doorway.
“Miss Jay?”
Sitting up (pressing the nausea down), Jay saw Ollie standing just inside the room, slightly slouching to fit through the door frame.
“What’s up, Ollie? Need to talk?” She said, patting the bedroll next to her.
“Um… yeah.” Ollie took a seat next to her. “I just wanted to ask if you’re okay?”
Jay blearily looked back at him, not quite understanding what he meant. Of course I’m okay.
“Because- you seemed really tired, I guess? Today? And when I was sick from the compass I was really tired. Um, did you… use it?”
“Of course not,” Jay said gently, giving his hair a little scruff. “Gill put it in the briefcase where it won’t hurt anyone else. And we’re all working hard to try and find a way to undo whatever it did to you. Don’t worry.”
“Okay,” Ollie said, visibly relieved. He stood slowly and mosied over to the door frame, letting out a yawn. “Goodnight.”
Goodnight, Jay said. Or maybe she only thought it. Either way, her eyes were already closing and sleep was finally finding her.
Pain. The first thing Jay felt as she awoke was sharp, hot pain coursing through her wings, begging her to stretch them out, maybe get around to preening for the first time in- how long had it been again?
“Jay?” There it was- the thing that woke her- Chip’s voice cutting through the haze that seemed to surround her brain.
“Myeah?” She sat up and saw Chip standing in the doorway with Ollie worriedly standing behind him.
“Jay, I hate to say this, but turn out your pockets for me.”
“What?” Jay stood up, slightly swaying. “Why?”
Ollie shrunk behind Chip a little.
“Jay, do you know what time it is?” Chip said.
“Mmm, morning time?”
“It’s past lunch. Way past lunch.” Chip walked a little closer, putting a hand on Jay’s shoulder. It wasn’t meant to be threatening, she knew, but her instincts screamed at her to jump away. Seeing how skittish she was, Chip quickly withdrew his hand and instead crossed his arms.
“Ollie’s worried you’ve started using the compass and frankly, I am now too. So please Jay, before I get Gill and he goes all glowy n’ shit, turn out your pockets.” Chip stepped back and held out his hand expectantly.
Sighing, Jay turned her pockets inside out, revealing nothing was in them. She turned and shook out her bedroll too, causing a little stuffing to fall out.
“Happy?”
Ollie’s jaw dropped in astonishment, while Chip patted him on the back. “I told you there was nothing to worry about. She’s fine.”
“Okay…” Ollie still looked a little nervous, but he turned away and headed back to the main room. In the distance, Jay could hear the sound of rain still pounding against the Albatross and Gillion’s distant shouting.
Chip had said something to her, she realized.
“What?”
“I said are you really okay? You look like a mess.” Chip cautiously reached out to take her hand again. She pulled away.
“I’m fine, Chip.” she said, starting towards the door and cringing slightly at how her voice sounded like she’d eaten gravel. “I’m going to get some breakfast.”
“You mean lunch!” Chip called as she walked into the main room.
There was a deep ache that ran through her entire body. Jay slid onto the sofa, allowing herself to go boneless against the plush. In theory, she thought the softness against her back would help the pain in her wings. In practice, the contact made her tear up from the pain.
“JAY!” Gillion practically leapt over to her, and she quickly sat back up and shook away the tears- immediately regretting it when the motion made the fog in her head grow thicker.
“You slept in quite a bit this morning!” Gillion said, tossing her a bagel. “You missed breakfast- but I saved an orange bagel for you!”
“Thanks, Gill,” Jay mumbled, nibbling on the bagel. Her stomach churned, and she couldn’t tell if she was nauseous or just hungry. Probably nauseous. She set the bagel down- she didn’t want to risk eating too much. “Is the storm over?”
“The whirltide is still going strong,” Gillion responded, “but I think we’re on the precipice! It should be over by the end of tomorrow!”
“Great,” Jay said weakly, resigning herself to another night pressed against the too-close walls and the too-close ceiling and the pressure, the pressure, of the bandages on her wings.
The rest of the day passed in a haze of making idle conversation when prompted, Jay laying against the sofa, feeling every single atom pressing against her wings. Her eyes, barely open as the sun set, registered the movement of a blue blob and a greyish blob towards the hallway.
As though underwater, she heard Gillion call out “Jay, we’re heading to bed now. Come join us whenever you’re ready!”
Realizing the main room was now empty, a half-baked idea began to form. If Gillion and Chip were in the sleeping quarters, and there was nobody stopping her from going atop the deck…
Jay slowly peeled herself from the sofa and crept towards the other room. Sure enough, Chip was laying in his hammock and there were bubbles rising from Gillion’s water barrel.
As quietly as she could, Jay walked up the stairs leading to top deck and swung open the trapdoor. Instantly, she was pelted by spikes of rain that felt almost like icicles against her skin. A howling wind beat against her wobbly body and she almost fell over trying to close the trapdoor before Chip and Gillion could hear anything.
She stumbled towards the helm platform wall and stood stupidly for a moment, trying to remember which board to press in on. She found the correct one and practically ran down the steps in her haste to relieve the deep pressure on her wings.
Crying with joy, Jay reached the open space and tore off the bandages binding her. But when she tried to stretch out her wings, a white-hot bolt of pain ripped through them, and it took all the energy she had left just to collapse into her soaking-wet nest.
...Jay? Jay?
Pain. Deep. Pulsating. Intruding.
Jay! Where are you?
Aching. Burning. Stabbing. Pounding.
Jay, by the gods, where are you?!
With the strength of a thousand Titans, Jay blinked open her eyes faintly. There was a sound in the distance, barely able to be registered. It was so loud.
Miss Jay!
She couldn’t get up, not yet. The ground felt… not quite nice. Not quite enticing.
Ferin, where the fuck are you?!
Tempting. That was the word. The ground was trapping her.
Chip, there’s a loose board here!
Faintly, Jay felt her wings flutter slightly, instinctively, then a second later felt a shooting sensation crawl down her shoulders into her back. Maybe she should sit up.
A staircase?! Jay, are you down here?!
Stabbing, aching, filling her head. Pulsating, through her wings. Maybe she shouldn’t sit up.
Jay…
She’s floating in midair. She’s swimming through the ocean. She is light and she is air and she is-
“I think I saw her eyes open!”
She is lying in the medbay. Her wings are still unbound.
And Chip and Gillion are worriedly looking over her.
Jay’s eyes shot open with a start, suddenly registering that the freedom she felt on her back was only tempered by how dangerous it was, laying here with the red wings that condemned her. She could see the gears turning in Chip’s mind. She could see the concern on Gillion’s face.
It was sickening.
“Jay, how are you feeling?” Gillion said, placing his hand on her forehead, then quickly pulling away. “You’ve got a fever.”
She tried to speak, but the only sound she could make was a muffled “mmmhh.” Her wings felt on fire beneath her but she was so, so tired.
“Your-” Chip started, then stopped. “Can we fix your wings?”
Jay cleared her throat, then tried to speak again. “You… know how?”
“I have healing magic,” Gillion said, “and I’ve trained in many forms of medicine.”
“And in case you didn’t know, I can give killer back massages,” Chip added. “I’m sure some of that ‘magic-’” he made air quotes- “will help.”
She laid there for a minute, weighing her options as best she could. She could try and leave (her wings wouldn’t carry her like this), she could try and convince Gill and Chip to leave, re-hide her wings, and tell them they made the whole thing up (they’re too smart for that). Or she could just… trust them, fully, for the first time.
“Just… be careful,” Jay said as she turned to the side, fully exposing her wings to them.
Gillion let out a soft “oh” at the sight. She could feel a gentle touch from a calloused hand- Chip, probably. And the cool touch of a slightly moister hand soon followed.
As they began to preen her, fingers naturally finding the bent and broken feathers while smoothing the salvageable ones, Jay couldn’t help but melt under the touch. She could tell that Gillion was using magic to make the pain less severe, but that only paled in comparison to the relief she felt each time a particularly broken feather was released, or when one was slid into just the right position. Her eyes closed, and she slipped into a hazy space where nothing existed but the feel of the hands on her wings.
She felt the calloused hands leave her for a moment, and she weakly strained her back in the direction they had left. But no sooner were they gone than had the other hands, the moister hands, made up the difference- gently applying something cool and smooth, lining her feathers in the right direction. She felt her head being lifted, and whatever was underneath it suddenly felt a lot more comfortable. The rougher, calloused hands began to play with her hair, and it soothed her just as much as the preening did.
She sighed contented, surrounded by the warmth and care of the people she trusted most in the world.
And at that moment, a faint glow began to emanate from her wings. But it wasn’t painful- it was warm, the kind of warmth felt from chocolate melting on her tongue.
“Jay-” The moist hands left her wings, and she felt the glow grow brighter.
Sitting up slightly, moved only by some deep instinct within her, Jay fully extended her wings- no longer painful- and gasped when she saw their appearance.
No longer a threatening red, but shimmering with new energy, and a new color- a light blue accented by white and golden undertones.
Chip breathed a sigh of what sounded almost like relief. “Does that mean- you told me-”
“Later,” Jay whispered, slumping over as the glow faded and her eyes grew heavier. Gillion resumed combing his magic through her wings. “I promise. Please.”
“Later,” Chip agreed, pulling her head back into his lap.
Jay let herself drift as Gillion’s movements became less frequent. She thought she had known exhaustion before, but now her only sensations were warmth and love and trust. As his hands stilled, oh, he started just stroking her wings and that was almost better than the preening. She was flying again and she couldn’t feel the ground and if she wasn’t so exhausted she would be singing.
She felt safe and warm and fuzzy and everything felt right and she hadn’t felt this good in years and finally,
She slept peacefully.
When Jay woke up, she felt a breeze grace her cheek. Looking up, there was no trace of the ship- only an open sky with the warm sun beaming down on her. She felt much better- the headache had faded to a barely-present twinge, and her wings felt lighter than air.
As she blinked and her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw that she was lying in her nest, and the mess of blankets and pillows had been pulled together to not only cover herself, but the two people next to her: Chip leaning against the slight wall of pillows, smiling up at the sky with his eyes closed, and Gillion stroking Pretzel in his lap.
The whirltide had ended. She was safe with her crew. A crew that, as she craned her neck to look at her now-blue wings, meant a lot more to her than she ever anticipated.
“How do you feel?” Gillion asked as he noticed her sit up.
“A lot better, actually,” Jay said, stretching her arms up and allowing her wings to extend- accidentally smacking Chip in the nose.
“Ow!” He grabbed his nose and laughed. “Now Jay, about that explanation…”
“I did promise you.” Jay folded her wings back into a comfortable position, marveling at how much easier it felt, and looked down into her hands.
“I’ve had these since I was a child, all Ferins do. I wasn’t born different at all. I was just a carbon copy of every other redhead unfortunate enough to bear the name. I’ve hidden them ever since I started working at my mother’s tavern, as most wouldn’t take too kindly to an easily-recognized Navy officer handing them their drinks.”
“What about the color?” Chip asked. Jay couldn’t look at him, not yet.
“Chip, what I told you about red Ferin wings is true- they do signify loyalty to the Navy.”
“But then-”
“Let me finish.” Jay met his gaze expecting to see anger, but only saw confusion. That simple subversion of expectations caused tears to well up in her eyes.
“I was loyal to the Navy,” she confessed, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I was using you. From the beginning.”
“What do you mean? Using me?”
“I wanted to get closer to whoever killed my sister. I did whatever I could.” Chip wrapped her in a hug as Jay started to fully cry. “I convinced the Navy to let me go undercover, and… you just happened to be there.” Gillion joined the hug and gingerly rubbed her back as Chip just rubbed circles into her hand.
“But you two- you showed me how the Navy’s become corrupt,” Jay said when she had collected herself. “And you both mean so much to me- you’re the only people I can trust. I’m a Riptide pirate now, no matter who I was before.”
“That must be why your wings turned,” Chip said.
“No,” Jay responded, smiling. “I think when I let you see my wings- even if it was an accident- that was the first time I fully trusted you. With my whole self. And that, I think, is what really freed me.”
With that, she scooted out of the hug and started to gather fresh bandages.
“What are you doing?” Gillion said, grabbing the bundle of fabric before she could begin to tie it around her wings. “That isn’t safe.”
“I’ve gotten used to it by now. It’s not that bad,” she said wryly. “And besides, it’s not like the rest of the crew knows I’ve got the wings of a bluejay!”
Chip stifled a snicker, then pointed at something behind her.
Standing in the staircase leading to the deck were Ollie and Old Man Earl: Ollie with an expression of shock on his face while Earl just nodded approvingly.
“Uh…” Jay folded her wings behind her, suddenly self-conscious. “Hi?”
“Miss Jay, those are beautiful!” Ollie said, running in to greet her, then diving into the mess of pillows and blankets behind her. “Did you make this place?”
“What, like you haven’t poked through every nook and cranny of the ship?” Earl said exasperatedly, sitting in a nearby chair like he’d done so many times before, and pulling out a book from a loose floorboard- one Jay hadn’t noticed before. “I come down here all the time during the day. Gets too damn loud up on deck.”
Everyone laughed, and Jay gathered all the bandages in the room. She slowly flexed her wings to check if they would support her, and feeling a renewed sense of strength, she burst into the air.
She flew to the edge of the tallest mast. She twirled and looped and spiraled all around the ship. She whooped, a sound of pure joy, and pitched the bandages into the sea.
As she alighted back down and saw the smiling faces of her crew- her family- she knew that this was where she truly belonged.