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Jean had always been amazed by the way Jeremy smiled, by the way he laughed like it was the easiest thing in the world. He remembered seeing him at banquets, giggling with his teammates. At games with a fierce grin on his face. There was always that image in his head. The signature Jeremy Knox smile. When he finally got out of the Nest and transferred to USC, Jean found out that there was so much more to Jeremy than he originally thought.
There were so many different smiles, so many different laughs. Jean couldn’t help but want to memorize them all. Every different sound, every different curve of the lip. Sometimes, that happiness would fill Jean up too, threatening to spill over, pushing at his ribcage like some foreign beast trying to escape. A beast that, until his transfer, had been docile.
Just as Jean had been watching Jeremy, Jeremy had been watching Jean. It started out as a simple curiosity. He studied the perpetual frown on the man’s face. He didn’t understand how Jean could be so stone faced all the time, especially during games, adrenaline pumping through his body. Jeremy couldn’t keep that smile down if he tried.
Kevin was the one to explain it to him. He was horrified to hear how the Nest treated its residents. Once Jean was safely at USC, Jeremy did everything in his power to make sure he felt comfortable, safe. He never wanted Jean to feel like that ever again.
Though, despite all his efforts, Jean’s stony disposition remained for months after he arrived. However, Jean warmed up to Jeremy in other ways. Trusting him enough to have his back turned, to change out in the locker room together, to sleep in the same room together. A warm feeling spread in Jeremy’s chest every time another degree of trust was earned.
It was midway through November, nearing Thanksgiving break, when Jean smiled for the first time. It was a small thing, but Jeremy couldn’t stop himself from staring. He’d always known Jean was attractive. Anyone with eyes could see that. Though, Jean’s other features softened along with the smile. It was breathtaking.
The smile dropped ever so slightly when Jean caught Jeremy staring. “What?” Jean asked with a lilt of a french accent. It sent even more of a pang through Jeremy’s heart.
“Nothing,” Jeremy said, quickly looking away. “I’ve just never seen you smile before.”
“Oh.” The smile fell completely, to Jeremy’s disappointment. “I did not know that. Perhaps, I have not had a reason to smile before.”
“But now you do?”
“I—” Jean averted his gaze from Jeremy’s, a small dusting on pink spreading across his face. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
Jean began to smile more frequently after that. Mostly his smiles were nervous and awkward, though there were those rare moments where Jean seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was smiling at all. Those were Jeremy’s favorite Jean smiles. They were the ones that made Jeremy feel the most warm. He could be standing in the middle of a snowy field in a tank top and board shorts and he was sure that smile would stop his shivering.
Jeremy didn’t go home that winter break, opting to stay with Jean in a familiar environment to make sure he got fully acclimated. It was then that Jean laughed for the first time. Late December, a couple of days past Christmas, though neither of them celebrated since Jeremy was Jewish and holidays weren’t really a thing at the Nest.
Despite that fact, Alvarez still secretly hid mistletoe around the dorm. “It was originally a Pagan tradition, though, feel free to use it for kissing purposes too,” she’d said with a smug smile. It was Jeremy’s fault really. He’d wallowed to her about his slight infatuation with Jean one night, sleep deprivation being as good as alcohol. Alvarez didn’t stop trying to set them up after that. She’d leave them alone in small spaces, tease them about acting like an old married couple, being what she thought was the perfect wingwoman.
But Jeremy didn’t want to push. Not with Jean’s history.
Now, they were alone in a small dorm for a month, neither of them particularly fond of going out, especially around the holidays. Alvarez was ecstatic when she heard the news. Jeremy didn’t know when she’d managed to put up so much mistletoe. All he knew was that there was no mistletoe before she left, and now it was suddenly everywhere.
After taking down the third bundle he’d found in an hour, he mumbled angrily to himself, setting it on the table with the rest of them in hopes that Alvarez would take them back once she got home. The only one he allowed to stay up was the one by the front door in case Alvarez really had worked some incantation into them. It was then that he heard it, a soft laugh coming from behind him. When he turned around, Jean was standing there, covering his mouth with his hand.
“I’m glad you find my frustration amusing,” Jeremy said, though even in the state he was in, he still couldn’t manage to actually sound mad.
“Me? Never,” Jean said, the smile never leaving his face.
Jeremy tried to glare at him, but that just made Jean laugh more. The sound was almost musical. Jeremy’s annoyance was quickly replaced by another emotion, something that was far more pleasant.
“It is a good joke, I think,” Jean said after his bout of laughter died down.
Jeremy crossed his arms, determined not to let his fondness show. “Maybe you think it’s so funny because you want to catch me under one.” A bold choice of words. Jeremy almost started panicking when Jean didn’t say anything.
“Maybe I do,” Jean retorted, tilting his head, his amused grin dropping to something softer.
Jeremy didn’t process what was said immediately. He simply watched as a shade of pink, one that Jeremy had gotten so familiar with over the time they’d been living together, appeared on Jean’s face. The smile was almost gone. All Jeremy could think of was that he didn’t want it to go away.
“You know, you don’t need mistletoe to do that,” Jeremy said softly.
Jean raised an eyebrow. “No?”
Jeremy shook his head.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
And so Jean walked up to him, grabbed a bundle of mistletoe from the table, and held it above their heads. “What if I want it, though?”
Jeremy shook his head, finally allowing a smile to break out onto his face. “Give me that.” He snatched the plant from Jean’s hand and tossed it back in the pile. Then, he grabbed Jean’s face, pulling him down, and kissing him like he’d been wanting to do for so long. Jean’s arms immediately wrapped around his waist, lifting Jeremy off the floor. It was impressive, attractive, this show of strength.
They only broke apart when they couldn’t breathe anymore. Jean set Jeremy down on the kitchen counter, his hands never leaving his waist. They held onto each other like they were liferafts, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Jean’s smile was the brightest it had ever been. Jeremy knew he was wearing the same dopey grin.
They pressed their foreheads together, breaths mingling as they tried to steady their racing hearts. “Stupid mistletoe,” Jeremy whispered through his panting.
Jean chuckled softly. “I don’t know,” he said. “I think I kind of like it.”