Chapter Text
Consoling a crying child was not on Loki’s to-do list. They had things to do, places to demolish. They didn’t even want to be at this festival. If it were up to them, they would snap their fingers and make the whole place disappear. Of course, Tony would kill them for ruining his big Iron-Man anniversary extravaganza (Which Loki finds just as pretentious as it sounds).
The child gripped tighter on Loki’s dress as Loki tried to make a run for it. They could see freedom beyond the food carts on the horizon. If only the stubby grabbers of this three-footed menace would let go. The kid was surprisingly strong.
“Pleaseee tell May I don’t wanna!” the child sobbed. This led to the kid getting snot all over Loki’s new green garment. They were tempted to flick the pestering brat away. Loki probably would have, if it wasn’t for the fact Tony was keenly watching from the stage nearby. Tony gave them a death glare as he kept speaking about his new invention. The glare was subtle enough Tony’s audience wouldn’t register it, but Loki felt chills run down their back. Tony was convinced they would cause mischief in some form before the day was over. Loki smirked at the memorable conversation they had with Tony before being forced to sign autographs for kids.
“If you ruin this Pepper and I will have your head.”
“Ha, that wouldn’t even cause a scratch. I could simply remove my head and put it back on right now if I wished. It’s part of the whole being a god thing. Reality doesn’t define me. It obeys me.”
A tug on their dress snapped Loki back into reality. Despite not even giving a greeting, the small child kept begging Loki for something.
“Lokiiii please tell her!” The kid’s voice was scratchy as it pierced Loki’s eardrums. The incoherent whining was going to be the death of Loki. This is why they constantly told their mother that grandchildren weren’t going to happen. They would lose their mind with a little kid running about.
“Tell who what?” Loki said in response. They realized that the silent treatment wasn’t making the kid run away.
“May!” The kid screamed back. As if that answered any of Loki’s questions.
“The month??”
“No, MAY!”
“Who’s May?! And why would mortals name a person after a month off a calendar?! Surely you all are more creative than that!”
“May is my aunt. She’s making me wear a dress for the festival. And I don’t wanna.” The kid pouted. The kid’s eyes glazed over into something dull and foreign. A mask of shame shadowed over every feature. Loki looked over the kid carefully. This feels familiar, They thought to themself. They felt their body unstiffen. On cue, the child lessened her grip on the garment. Like she felt heard by the god for once.
“Why’s that? I’m sure you’d look beautiful, just like Black Widow.” Loki said (since most of the kids dressing up at the festival were dressing as Avengers to show their support. No one has dressed as Loki yet. Loki has attempted not to look disappointed.)
“But I don’t want to look like her. I wanna look like Captain America. Or you when you wear the suit.” She replied. So, she notices I shift. Quite perceptive. They thought
“Then you should dress up as one of those. Just wear whatever makes you most comfortable.”
“But May says I’ll look too much like a boy.” She said sadly. It made Loki’s heart ache slightly.
“I sometimes forget how mortals tie themselves down with gender stereotypes. No wonder all these old hags have been clutching their pearls at me all day.” Loki gave a side-eye to some women murmuring from a stand nearby.
No wonder no one was asking for their autograph. Their parents must be gasping at the audacity of Tony working with a genderfluid person. Not to mention they were also well known for loving to cause drama whenever possible. Loki sighed. They knew they weren’t the best influence for those mothers’ sweet angels in that perspective.
“Why? You look cool.” the timid voice almost made Loki jump. They nearly forgot the kid was still hugging onto them.
“Really?” Loki was waiting for a backhanded compliment that most blunt kids love to give. But it never came.
“Yeah, I can’t really tell what you are. That’s cool. You’re like a mystery in a dress.”
“A mystery in a dress, huh. I like that.” Loki grinned “Listen, this world is weird with gender roles. We don’t always want to fit into those spaces. So what? Those morons don’t deserve us. Shit, I hope your aunt doesn’t kill me for saying ‘moron’... or shit.”
“Ooo you said a bad word! I’m gonna tell!” The kid giggled
“No wonder I don’t get much attention from family-friendly settings,” Loki laughed “I can’t tell your aunt what to do. Just speak your mind. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again and you will be dressed up as Rogers. Though that sounds like a horrific thing to witness, seeing as I can’t stand the guy.”
“Yay! Thank you, Captain Loki!”
“Captain?” Loki started to laugh harder “What’s that for?”
“I dunno. I can’t tell if your a Mr or a Miss so I decided to go with captain. Was that rude? I don’t wanna be rude Captain Loki.”
“Pfft, no worries kid. I like that better for now.”
“For now?” She asked, eyes wide with wonder. Loki glanced around, wondering if they should be discussing this. Earth was a lot different than Asgard, where gender identity was as commonly spoken about as eye color. They weren’t sure how ‘May’ would like them speaking to her niece. Eh, screw it.
“I’m genderfluid. Somedays my soul aligns with the male gender, others the female. Sometimes in-between or outside of it completely. I know it might sound confusing–” they started to prepare for their typical ‘sorry if it is hard to understand’ speech they had grown accustomed to saying.
“It’s not. I think it’s cool.”
“You really love the word ‘cool’.”
“You really love the word ‘kid’.” She retaliated. Quite perceptive indeed. Loki thought
“Fair enough. But I’m shocked you just accepted the fact I switch genders so easily.”
“It means you get to do girl and boy things. You’re a shapeshifter. That sounds like so much fun. I like your gender. It’s cool.”
I like your gender. Loki rethought the words over and over. This child single-handedly created a wave of gender euphoria for the god. The typical responses they received on earth were “ That’s insane. You’re a freak.” and “That’s not a real thing. Stop seeking attention.”
They have never had someone say that it was cool they could express themself in an entirely new way beyond the typical binary.
“Katie!” A voice shouted beyond the crowd “Katie where are you?!” The kid hugged Loki tighter with each syllable of the name. Loki couldn’t help but want to do something.
“Captain Loki, if you can switch… one day can I be a boy then? Full time? Please?” The kid whispered shamefully. As if this was a disgraceful secret.
“Yes. 100 times yes.” Loki replied “And if you grow up and realize you aren’t a guy, that’s fine too. Just keep growing into yourself. You don’t need permission to be you. Be patient with your identity… it’s precious.”
“Thank you, Captain Loki.” The girl smiled and gave them a hug. This one out of affection rather than desperation.
Before Loki could respond, she ran off back to her aunt. Loki must have looked out of it because Tony made his way to them immediately after his speech.
“Loki are you sick or something?” Tony asked and examined their expression carefully “I don’t see many autographs being signed.” It was meant to sound like pestering but only sounded like concern.
“Only one kid came up to me. Begging me to tell her aunt not to make her wear a dress.”
“Did she ask for an autograph?”
“No, but she called me Captain because she couldn’t decide on “Mr” or “Miss”. Tell Rogers he might be out of a job if this trend catches on.” They replied with a grin
“I approve,” Tony said back “Steve won’t stop using my coffee maker. I would’ve voted him out a long time ago just for that. Although… I can’t picture you dressed in American colors for too long. It wouldn’t match your whole aesthetic.”
“True, the weirdness around fashion in this country–or earth in general– is enough to make my skin crawl. That poor girl wanted to wear one of the male avenger costumes so badly but couldn’t.” Loki couldn’t help but think back to the kid who seemed so distraught at such a young age.
“How did you respond?”
“I basically told her to wear whatever she felt comfortable in and if any moron didn’t agree they could suck it.”
“That certainly sounds like you.” Tony laughed and leaned against the wall “I wonder if we’ll see her again. Maybe you can expect a handwritten letter about how much that meant to her in a decade or so.”
“That would be a funny coincidence. Imagine me finally being some prominent figure in a kid’s life rather than the villain everyone and their grandma’s wishes you guys executed.”
“That reminds me, you’re still on trial. Be sure not to do any war crimes for the next few months while I’m away on business.”
“We’ll see.”
“Loki!”
12 Years Later
The walls of the Avengers Tower glistened in the sunlight. The kind of sunlight that clears the air after a peaceful rainstorm. The kind that leaves the main characters of stories facing the sky full of emotion and with new ambition. There is a type of chilling breeze that sends new heroes on their way to something life-changing. That was what was happening for a young boy on that very day.
Sixteen-year-old Peter Parker was enthusiastic to begin his new job. The job? It was the one-in-a-million chance to become an Avenger. How this came to be was quite the tale to tell.
Peter was spotted by Bruce and Steve Rogers a few days prior. The Avengers gang was on a mission. A human trafficking ring was kidnapping teenagers of wealthy family members. Tony and Bucky agreed the best option to go forward was to get someone on the inside. One spy took the challenge with pride.
Natasha needed to pretend to be kidnapped for it to work. The Avengers thought it would be fool-proof.
Turns out Peter was also on patrol that night. And he was scared to death a random red-head was about to get taken. So he webbed his way towards the alleyway where everything was going down.
In reality, he interrupted the pacing of the mission. Natasha was distracted from getting intel on the human trafficking ring. Thankfully Peter was resourceful and realized his mistake quickly enough to take down two of the three leaders.
The two were arrested by Captain America and the Hulk almost immediately. Peter was panicking over the fact the third leader got away. Natasha assured him that they would catch him soon, thanks to having the other two in custody to be interrogated.
Steve told everyone that the kid seemed pretty talented. Peter fanboyed over that and quickly went into a ramble about how much of an inspiration the Avengers were to him.
“I would study the footage of your fighting techniques for hours! You guys are so talented and cool, it’s an honor to meet you all!”
Needless to say, he won them over pretty quickly. Steve and Bruce told Tony they had a new recruit in mind for him (it helped that Tony was already doing research on the vigilante’s past patrols and was planning on looking for Peter himself later on anyway).
Now Peter was entering the building of his dreams. He was going to embark on new missions, become besties with his heroes, and be able to simply exist.
He wasn’t sure when he’d need to tell the gang his ‘secret’. He knows the Avengers are wild with support (Ex. A: Loki) but he couldn’t help but worry that subconsciously they would look at him differently than a cis hero. Would they think he wasn’t strong enough? Cool enough? Worthy enough?
“Ah, Peter!” Pepper greeted him from the doorway “We’ve been expecting you.”
“You’re Pepper Potts!” Peter beamed “Pleasure to meet you, thank you for all you do for everyone.”
“Aw, you’re too kind,” Pepper beamed and waved him inside “Come on in. I’ll take you to the meeting room. I hear the boys planned a little surprise for you.” Peter was already hyper with excitement. He could be given a list of chores to do and he’d be grateful. The two got on the elevator. Peter almost made a joke about being thankful there wasn’t any annoying elevator music. He quickly was relieved he kept his mouth shut when instrumental music echoed loudly in the small room.
Friday’s voice echoed in the area moments later “Welcome Miss. Potts, your destination please?”
“The meeting room. Thanks, Fri.” Pepper replied. Peter looked around the elevator with wide eyes. The elevator had a futuristic yet simplistic feel. He couldn’t help but ponder about the rest of the building.
“The technology here is so cool. Does Mr. Stark still invent things by hand around here?”
“Sometimes,” Pepper hummed “When he isn’t busy. Which is rare these days. You know how it is.” Her eyes almost went dull. Troubles in paradise it looks like… Peter thought to himself
Peter nodded, although he didn’t really understand. Peter’s passion for inventing surpassed his Spider-Man responsibilities. He couldn’t imagine going without getting his hands on some old tech for weeks at a time.
On the new floor, Peter could hardly contain his composure. All of the Avengers were seated in a living-room-like area and looking at him expectantly. It was real. He was really there. A jittery feeling crept up and down his body. It took everything in him not to squeal when a few of the Avengers looked toward him with a smile.
“Peter, nice to meet ya kid.” Tony got up and walked over to shake his hand. Tony gave a nod of appreciation to Pepper, who then nodded back before exiting the room quietly. Peter wondered if she felt left out. That thought was quickly erased when Tony clasped a hand over Peter’s shoulder.
“Come, have a seat,” Tony said “I’m glad you got here on time. Some of us here have weird abandonment issues. I was about to strangle Clint if he wouldn’t stop pacing.”
“Hey, don’t blame me for worrying we got ghosted by our first new member in like, ever.” Clint crossed his arms with a pout
“ Ahem. Aren’t we forgetting someone?” Loki scoffed from the counter he was sitting on. He was drinking some lavender tea out of a floral mug. But from the unamused expression, one could imagine he was debating on pouring the scalding liquid on Clint’s head “You all can’t forget my wonderful induction into this superhero club that’s on crack.”
“That was like, fifteen years ago,” Clint argued as if Loki’s novelty was long gone.
“Twelve actually. And I love how you didn’t deny the crack aspect of our group.”
“Loki don’t say we’re on crack, the kid looks like he would run away at the site of cigarettes at a party,” Wanda swatted at Loki before approaching Peter with a warm smile. She held out a serving plate of biscuits and pastries that were heavenly to Peter’s enhanced sense of smell. “Danish?” She offered
“Oh, yes, please! I mean, if that’s ok with you.” Peter looked up to Wanda for confirmation before taking one. May taught him to be a well-mannered gentleman and he wouldn’t want to accidentally act rashly over a buttery sweet.
“Sweetie– is it alright if I call you that?-- I wouldn’t have offered if I was going to take it away. Besides, this is straight from Tony’s wallet. Eat him out of house and home for all I care.”
“I second that!” Natasha quickly joined in with a grin “Eat a second one to honor my spite, young Peter.”
“Before you all turn this poor child against innocent–”
“ Innocent?” Steve and Bucky started cracking up on the couch
“Shut up Capsicle before I steal your shield,” Tony returned his focus to Peter “Before they turn you against handsome, innocent, and the most amazing Avenger AKA: me, let’s discuss what you’ll be working on with us and your responsibilities.” Tony directed Peter to a chair where he pulled out a contract and went over the complications of it. Peter, being the smartest kid in his grade, already studied all the legal jargon in a book titled: Law For Dummies the night prior. So he mainly zoned out in a fan-boy-like manner while nibbling on his snack happily.
He kept glancing up at Loki every once and a while.
Years ago before he was obsessively aware of his gender dysphoria (oh how he missed those days) he still knew he didn’t fit the way his family had hoped he would. When Loki told his younger self that “We don’t fit, so what?” it ignited something powerful in Peter. As years went on he grew more and more comfortable with himself. He allowed himself to experiment with different identities until he found the one that matched his soul. Like a missing puzzle piece with a young boy trapped inside, it clicked in his heart. Without the pep-talk full of spite against societal norms, Peter wonders where that much-needed representation would have come from.
That’s why joining the Avengers was growing more and more important to Peter. He could connect with his academic heroes (Bruce and Tony), his role models of ethics (Steve and Clint), and most importantly the one who really listened to him when he needed it: Loki. Joining the Avengers would give Peter the opportunity to sharpen his battle tactics. He could save more lives, and maybe even become a role model to another kid. Peter was also rather lonely, and tired of being treated like a nerd or a freak (although most people were accepting, he still felt out of place.)
The Avengers were known as “The Found Family of Everyones’ Dreams™” from all the movie nights and silly Twitter arguments. Peter hoped that maybe, in some form, he could join that one day.
Unfortunately, Loki didn’t seem too happy about Peter’s induction to the Avengers like the others were. It took years for Loki to actually seem to connect with the others. Social media or otherwise. From that Peter assumed Loki had trouble warming up to people.
Other than Loki’s first strands of dialogue (which were about remembering him in the midst of a new member) Loki stayed quiet throughout the entire meeting. His eyes were downcast, his mind somewhere else entirely. No one really tried to connect with the god either. They all just accepted he would be silent on the sidelines with a few quips on occasion.
No wonder he looks so lonely. He doesn’t look comfortable. He looks like he’s holding back. I wonder why. Peter thought to himself He looks lonely… I know when I didn’t feel heard Ned and MJ always helped me out. That’s it! Loki needs a friend that can understand him!
“I’m so excited to get to know everyone here,” Peter said as the meeting came to a close. He stared straight at Loki for a moment before adding “I hope we can all be good friends.”