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Change is always on the horizon.
Rex Lapis’ wisdom would always resonate with Xiao; it was sacred and dear to him, a lesson to always be learned.
Many moons ago, when Rex Lapis had spoken those very words to him, despite the good intentions his Archon may have had, Xiao thought it impossible for the likes of him. By now, he had learned that time was a foe not so easily slain. It was a force that was just slightly out of his reach, gracing all that surrounds him and leaving him two steps behind in its shadows.
When he looked over Liyue now, Xiao understood what the Archon had meant by his words.
Time had changed their land. It had soothed the rugged terrains of war and doused the flames of greed. It was no longer a land where gods and beasts walked as freely as they had ages ago.
Liyue Harbor had become a bustling city of warmth and balance, a sturdy and prosperous nation just like its former Archon.
It had been a long time since Xiao had stepped into Liyue Harbor, and if it weren’t for his hand being forced to deal with the events of Osial’s resurrection, he’s not sure when he would have noticed all that had changed in the few hundred years it had been.
He didn’t meddle with the humans unless necessary, and Xiao still spent his nights fighting demons—both the lands’ and his own— so it had really gone unnoticed to him.
…But he doesn’t fail to notice how the new traveler soothes the ripples in between times, effortlessly calming ages of differences and tension between the Adepti and the humans after the almost-disaster.
It wasn’t his business what the humans did so he didn’t care what they would decide, though he knows it doesn’t really help his fellow Adepti all that much by leaving them to deal with it on their own, either. But the traveler was reliable and true from what he could tell, and his judgement was rarely wrong.
She would be able to intervene between them if necessary and he trusts her enough to leave matters in her hands.
Xiao would stick to his own as he had always done. It was unsettling being near so many people.
So he leaves to go back to the mountains and his duties, hoping that this would be the last time in a while he would be in the Harbor and near the traveler.
Xiao doesn’t exactly get to go back to routine after the incident in the Harbor. Instead, turbulence finds him in the shape of a golden-eyed mortal, and he grows conflicted, wonders when exactly he had become lenient enough to let her near him despite his strict views.
Perhaps it started then, he wonders, thinking back to their meeting in the aftermath of Osial’s destruction.
It’s not often he sees her. There was an occasional bump-in every here and there during her commissions and his own responsibilities, but her presence in his life had even begun to affect him — he began to expect her, and would begin wondering if today would be the day he sees her. And this raised concern in him that he didn’t know how to go about.
Lumine, as she had long since introduced herself as, was too strange and unusual for her just being an ordinary traveler. She was puzzling and mysterious, powerful and precise. From the moment they met, she gave off a curious air, and he had known from the start that she was someone special and fascinating.
Despite this, she was still human, and so he had warned her about meddling with the affairs of the Adepti and thought he would leave it at that and never see her again after their first encounter.
(He was very wrong. Clearly.)
She was persistent then, and even more so after Osial. She was either courageous or foolish to ignore his warnings, and he believes now that she might have been a little bit of both.
(Then again, so was he for ignoring his own words.)
But even he shares some of the blame, his own interests greatly outweighing the risks he laid out to her. The events in the Harbor had only piqued his curiosity, their chance meetings becoming growing opportunities to learn more (about her ).
He had heard from the wind that the other Adepti had, too, opened their arms to this foreign traveler, an unusual and unexpected turn of events, but it gave him a flicker of… something…
And by then he realized he was past the first point of return.
In the beginning, Xiao remembers how cold he was to her.
And for good reason, he justified somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind. He feels a bit awful about it now, but he didn't think it would do her any good mixing herself in with the Adepti.
He had learned that she was too careless and aloof, and though he had told her to call his name whenever the need arose, she would often call him for silly reasons.
(He goes to her, anyway. Always.)
It didn’t help his case when every encounter with her only continued to fascinate him, boggling him on some ends and drawing him in deeper on others.
It was all unexpected and, if he were completely honest, extremely terrifying how one person had suddenly shifted his world. He hadn’t really noticed how, slowly, his walls began to crumble, hadn’t paid attention to when exactly he had abandoned thought and reason to seek her instead until it was too late.
He remembers this year’s Lantern Rite—how she celebrated him for something so trivial and unnecessary. It was so like her to go out of her way for others. He couldn’t deny that her actions were thoughtful but they were beyond something a Yaksha like him deserved.
But if there was anything he could take from that night and hold dearly, it would be how she looked in the glow of both the lanterns and the fireworks. The radiance and joy of the event suited her. Belonged to her. It was no place for him to be.
And yet, even knowing so, he could not take his eyes off of her—she was more enchanting than the magic used in the Mingxiao lantern. She shined brightest in the harbor that night.
Since then, it had gotten more difficult to get a hold of himself these days, to shake his head free from the silly thoughts that plagued his mind and insisted he be near her.
To protect her. Nothing more.
(Excuses he would make for his sake.)
And though he was capable, both physically, mentally (years and years of fine tuning he was somewhat proud of), his control swayed whenever amber met molten gold by chance under dim moonlight. His heart, though worn and scarred as it was, would skip a beat when the sun caught her golden hair just right, making her look more beautiful and ethereal than he believed to be humanly possible.
Her smile— her smile, meek and rare, sincere and brilliant, pushed adrenaline through his veins, the feeling similar and yet all too different from the rush of a fight like he’s used to.
Xiao could play aloof all he wanted, but he couldn’t play fool for long. He knew what these feelings were, what it meant for him as he slowly remembered an age long ago. A time when he was much younger, blissfully innocent and ignorant to the kind of world he was born into.
The traveler brought about these kinds of things from him, roused emotions in him that made him feel uncertain and unsure, but most of all unworthy, as he’s forced to acknowledge his past, his decisions, and his mistakes.
Love is a tragedy he is unfortunately familiar with. Each day with her reminds him of a forgotten face and smile, whispered confessions, and the feel of delicate fingers smoothing along the bone of his brow—a time of warmth, comfort, and peace. Whispers of memories of a young girl he once knew long since gone and passed.
It was a misery he thought he had buried deep enough, a fault in his youth he had run from like the coward he was then. It was the reason for his fate to have turned out as it had.
It should have been heart-wrenching to remember it all, or even overwhelming. And yet, it only feels bittersweet as he’s with her. She could calm his heart, silence despair with her sweet voice. It’s despicable to think about it, but she makes him feel like he could learn to forgive himself for it all.
Could he forgive himself for it all?
At odd times now, he remembers the words of his Master and he takes in the scene before him—Lumine smiling and laughing as she’s teasing her fairy companion over the food they’ve cooked.
Then, as he looks away off to the horizon where soft red and gold begin to grace her from behind, he realizes something incredible:
She is like the golden hour.
He reminisces again one night underneath a blanket of stars and fading moon—a seemingly quiet night for now.
But he keeps guard anyway, for her sake, and he keeps himself aware and vigilant of any threat that could arise.
Lumine was capable of handling her own, but she had been up for days looking for traces of her brother and had nearly collapsed from exhaustion by the end of the day.
He had scolded her, quietly, half-heartedly, as he picked her up from the ground. He knew how important her brother was to her, knew that her wish was to find him, but he wouldn’t let her go on fatigued.
And yet, exhausted as she was in his arms, she still smiled at him. She thanked him for caring about her and accepted his offer to rest and have him keep watch for the night without protest, thankfully.
Her eyes, gloomy, weary, and heavy from her lack of rest, were a dull gold by that point, nearly lifeless and hopeless, and it weighed heavily on his heart.
It was the least he could do to provide her with peace of mind and the opportunity for a good night’s rest—she had done much more for the sake of Liyue, for him, anyway.
The night was going by quickly and smoothly enough, though there were a few times he found himself caught off guard whenever she made quiet noises.
Lumine was still as she rested but her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips trembling. She was dreaming, probably, and he would often find his eyes wandering from the dark of night to her whenever she made even the softest sounds, concern and questions blooming in him.
What is she dreaming of?
Is she okay?
Is it a nightmare?
Should he wake her?
He was past the age of when he was a dream eater, but how he wished he could see her dreams and quell whatever it was hurting her.
But he stayed still as stone, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, every expression she made. Eventually, whatever it was that was bothering her ceased and her expression turned almost serene.
He released a quiet breath, not having realized how tense his muscles were until he relaxed. He could keep her safe physically, but her dreams were just barely out of reach. Off limits, at least to him.
Still, she was beautiful as she slept now that she was at peace, and it took all his strength to force himself to look away before his thoughts would wander, before he could desire.
One night, the traveler fell into their world like a shooting star—a girl with golden hair and eyes, and a radiant smile that rivaled even the sun. She was an innocence that could not belong to him yet that only ever drew him nearer.
She is as lovely as a dream— his dream.
And the thought of that alone was enough to make him grieve because Xiao was not who he was many lifetimes ago—a gentle boy in a turbulent world, free to desire and want, free of blight and sin.
Time had been cruel to him and he had long since fallen into complete darkness and corruption, guilt and damnation waiting for him every night like a curse.
And she… she is like light.
Bright, sweet, warm. Worth protecting, keeping safe. And maybe that was how he managed to convince himself to stay near her despite his atrocious nature.
Had fate not already planned their lives out, had Xiao lost every breath of reason in him, he fears he might have acted on these feelings alone right then and there . And to Xiao, possibility was as dangerous a foe as any demon.
He is a warrior who would spend the rest of his life carrying out Rex Lapis’ ancient will, shouldering evil time and time again, days and nights bleeding into centuries and change.
…But if there’s one thing that still baffles Xiao even in all his years of being alive, it’s how everything can change and how a single person, a strange traveler, could bring about that change in a stunningly short amount of time.
Xiao had hesitated for a while to admit it, but he had slowly changed just from being near her.
And that night, for the second time in his long life, he admits to himself that had fallen in love. Had been enchanted maybe since the start of it all.
But he could not be a fool again. He would not chase love on a whim no matter how tempting the pursuit of a jewel was.
Having Lumine in his life was like a breath of fresh air to him, so precious and exquisite and pure. He would not allow himself to ruin something so dazzling again.
He would never know how it feels to dance under the moonlight with her, would never know how it feels to have her hand in his.
But he could dream.
So Xiao allowed himself to look at her for just three more seconds before slowly blinking, and then he looked away into the darkness again before finally closing his eyes.