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Anakin knew it was a bad idea as soon as the karaoke started. To be fair, he hadn’t anticipated his master would have that many drinks. But also, he probably shouldn’t have let Obi-Wan buy those death sticks. Or, at least, not let him have one. Now, the blonde was higher than a podracer off the edge of Beggars Canyon, and all Anakin could do was watch in confusion. What had he been thinking? That it would turn out fine because he was a Jedi. He was wrong.
He thought all of this as he sat in a booth in a bar on the lower levels of Coruscant, watching with despair as Obi-Wan took the mic from a stranger and chose a song from a musical film set on Ryloth. It was a children’s classic, one with singing tables and droids that once were humans. Anakin vaguely remembered watching it with his mother, holed up at Watto’s, during a particularly bad sandstorm when he was young. When obi wan’s surprisingly amazing voice and lukewarm french accent started, he thought back to the start of the evening, and what had led them all to this point.
It had started as a suggestion, something Ahsoka said offhandedly after a particularly draining mission.
“You guys should go to the lower levels,” she’d told them as she’d cleaned her sabres, “get a couple of drinks and just chill out,”
“just…chill out?” obi-wan had asked, “why I don’t think Anakin ever heard of such a thing,”
“I have too heard of chilling out!” he’d replied instantly, “I just find myself very dedicated to being a Jedi,”
“you deserve it, sky guy,” Ahsoka told him, twisting the end cap back on with a smile, “you work too hard,”
“I don’t know, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan told her thoughtfully, “what if we’re needed?”
“There are hundreds of Jedi on Coruscant, you’ll be fine ,”
At the time it had seemed like a great idea.
It was not.
Obi-wan finished drunkenly belting the last lyrics to the song and Anakin took that as his cue to wade through the crowd and grab the somewhat staggering Jedi master by the arm. Obi-wan offered him an inebriated smile, face lighting up with childlike joy at the sight of the brunette.
“Anakin! hello! when did you get here?”
“I arrived at the same time as you, obi-wan,” Anakin told him, tugging him towards the door, “and we’re leaving at the same time too- now,”
“awwww,” obi-wan whined like a child, “but I was having such fun! I think the twi’lek at the bar was admiring my french accent,” he leaned against his former padawan, arm slung lazily around his neck as he stumbled alongside him.
“obi-wan, that was a pillar,”
“oh,” he furrowed his brow, “I could’ve sworn it winked at me,”
“how many death sticks did you have?”
“a youngling and a half,” obi-wan replied with a giggle.
“How high are you?” Anakin asked as he hailed a cab. Obi-wan looked down at himself with a frown, before squinting up at the sky and counting on his fingers.
“5 foot 10,” he said proudly and Anakin facepalmed.
“This was a mistake,” he told his counterpart as they slid into the taxi.
“‘t wasn’t a mistake,” obi-wan slurred sleepily, “was a great time,”
“you’re a weird mix of drunk and high,”
“‘m not high,” obi-wan replied indignantly, “I’m the short one,”
“I’m not high if that’s what you’re implying,” Anakin attempted to defend himself, but the Jedi master continued to babble drunkenly.
“you’re so tall, it’s not fair. I’m supposed to be the tall one- but you always have the high ground,” Obi-Wan’s face furrowed into a frown, “one of these days I’m gonna have the high ground on you- I’m gonna be taller,”
“sure, obi-wan,” Anakin thanked the driver and pulled his companion out of the seat and onto the back balcony of his shared apartment with Padme, “now let’s get you to bed,”
“don’t wanna go to bed,” obi-wan complained, “wanna watch a ma-mov-“ he struggled with his words for a moment, “a mova-movie,”
“all right, obi-wan. why don’t you lay here on the couch and I’ll turn on the holoscreen?”
“Anakin?” Padme asked and both men looked at her. obi wan squinted blearily from where he lay on the couch as if she was hard to see.
“Padme, hiiiiiiiiiiii,” he waved, “have I told you you’re my favourite sentatator?” he grinned, “because you are,”
“hi obi-wan,” Padme offered an awkward grin before gesturing to the kitchen with her head, “Anakin, why don’t we get Obi-Wan some water?”
“that sounds like a great idea,” Anakin agreed, “hey holoscreen, play the Beauty and the Bantha,” the screen flickered to life and a hologram edition of the film came to life. He then followed his wife into the kitchen.
“What’s going on?”
“We went to the lower levels,” Anakin began, “And had a drink or two,”
“And then?”
“And then Obi-Wan bought some death sticks,”
“And then?”
“He had a few,”
“And then?” She asked.
“He did drunken karaoke and I realised it was time to come home,”
“Anakin that should not be where the bar is,” she sighed, rubbing her temples, “your best friend is currently watching a children’s film on the couch.”
“Can you call Ahsoka and see if she can bring some extra robes for Obi-Wan?” Anakin told her, “and maybe some painkillers?”
“I’ll do that if you can try and make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble,” Padme told him and he nodded, “I love you, even if you bring home drunken Jedi at 3 in the morning,” she told him, giving him a small parting kiss. Anakin returned to the living room to find Obi-Wan sitting upright, sobbing.
“Obi-Wan?” Anakin asked confusedly. The man in question looked up from his hands, eyes red and tearful.
“Anakin,” he said, gesturing to the screen, “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
“No, master,” Anakin said hesitantly, “Probably because attachment is forbidden,”
“That’s stupid,” Obi-Wan told him as he came to sit on the couch, “because I love you so much. And Ahsoka, and Cody. You guys are my family.”
“Is that right?” Anakin asked, awkwardly patting his friend’s shoulder.
“You’re my brother, Anakin,”
“I know, master,”
“And Ahsoka's like my little sister” he continued to cry.
“I know,” Anakin replied, fighting a smile.
“And I just love you guys so much ,” he sobbed
“We know,” Anakin did smile at this, just a little.
“and I wish I could marry Satine!” he wailed.
“I…know?”Anakin stared at him like he was witnessing the most mature man in his life have an emotional breakdown like a toddler. (which he was, but don’t tell Master Windu)
“I just wish I could love who I wanted to,” Obi-Wan continued to cry, “and that Ahsoka could brush her hair,”
“That I could what?” Ahsoka said from the balcony and Anakin sent her a look that screamed help me.
“You can’t brush your hair,” obi-wan sobbed into his hands, “because you’re togruta,”
“I know?” Ahsoka dropped the bag on the floor by the couch, pulling a small vial out of the top.
“It feels wonderful,” Obi-Wan explained, “I used to have really long hair. You remember, don’t you Anakin? Tell her about my really long hair. It was so sexy,” he seemed to be past his emotional breakdown, “It was luxurious,”
“I’m sure it was very luxurious, Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said, shoulders shaking with laughter. Padme entered at that moment with water, which Ahsoka took gratefully.
“Padme! Thank goodness you’re here.” Obi-Wan cheered, “Tell Ahsoka about my luxurious mullet,”
“His… luxurious mullet?” Padme asked with confusion written clearly across her face. Meanwhile, Ahsoka tapped a few drops of the blue liquid into the water, swirling the cup slightly to mix it.
“Yes,” Anakin said, his voice a warning, “Don’t you remember ? It was amazing,”
“Oh!” Padme seemed to realise what was happening, “yes, the mullet. It was fantastic,” she explained as Ahsoka brought the cup to Obi-Wan, “You were irresistible,”
“Yes, I was,” Obi-Wan said, nodding proudly, taking the cup. He looked into it and frowned, “I don’t want this, it’s blue,”
“Just like your lightsabre,” Anakin supplied.
“Ooh! Just like my lightsabre,” Obi-Wan said, eyes lighting up, “I like it,”
“You should drink it all,” Ahsoka told him, before whispering to a very confused Padme, “It’s a classic hangover prevention recipe,”
“There we go,” Anakin said, helping the blonde sit down after he’d finished the concoction, “see you in the morning,”
“Mmmm…goodnight,” Obi-Wan muttered before rolling over and settling in, eyes closed. Anakin let out a sigh of relief and stood, crossing to the two women.
“Note to self,” Anakin said, “Never ever take Ahsoka's advice. Ever ,”
“Hey, at least Obi-Wan had fun,” She replied, and she was right.
Until he woke up the next morning to throw up in Anakin’s toilet with a splitting headache.