Chapter Text
It's Pierre who suggests the trip.
The young Alpha suggests it to Kimi while having a coffee with him in the kitchen. Over the past few months Kimi had been teaching Pierre everything he knew about being Alpha and so far he was doing a pretty good job at leading the pack. Kimi was rather enjoying not having the responsibility for everyone and it made life easier for him knowing Pierre was naturally good at the job.
However, Kimi might not have responsibility for the pack anymore, but he did have responsibility for something else in his life.
Sebastian.
The two of them barely spoke to each other after the events in Canada. If they did speak it was around their Daughter where they both tried to pretend things were okay between them. Full moon nights were harder as well and Kimi sometimes declined actually coming out with the pack, preferring solitude in the basement instead of being free with his pack.
Pierre had, on more than one occasion, told Kimi that Sebastian's control was also affected on full moon nights. Out of everyone including the still very new Mick, Sebastian was who everyone had to try to find a way to keep in control and not lose it. It exhausted Pierre to no end but if Kimi wouldn't help then he had to do it.
Kimi always felt a flush of guilt when he heard this, but at the same time he truly wasn't ready to forgive Sebastian. It seemed like something inside him kept blocking him from ever giving the peace Sebastian desperately needed. The hurt was too deep. Too raw. Everytime he looked at Sebastian he saw the word Monster in almost flashing neon colours. No matter what Sebastian said or did. Kimi remembered.
So now here was Pierre, pushing a leaflet towards Kimi. "I think it's time you and your family took a holiday."
Kimi takes the leaflet, reading it with a frown on his face. "The cabin in Minnesota again?"
Pierre nods gently, cradling his mug. "Yes. From what I remember Sebastian loved it despite the difficulties you both had. They've upgraded the cabins now so that they have a giant pane of glass that has a full view of the wolves."
Kimi hums, flicking through the leaflet. "Yeah I guess Seb would love that."
"You don't sound thrilled." Pierre points out, putting his mug down on the table. "When was the last time you all took a break as a family? Before Myla?"
Kimi nods gently, but a sigh leaves him. "I just...I know what you're trying to do and I don't think it's going to work."
"Just try it, Kimi. What's the harm in trying? I know you're both hurting badly. I think it's time you learnt to forgive and let go of all of this stuff."
Kimi looks like he's going to get mad but Pierre puts some authority in his tone.
"As your Alpha I am telling you to take this break. The pack are sick and tired of stepping on eggshells around you and I am close to being done with just how badly the two of you are at keeping your wolves at bay. You told me that our wolf halves are also soul bonded to each other. You're not just hurting yourself over this, you are hurting your wolves and I'm sure if this carries on that either you or Seb will truly be the monster you fear all the time."
Kimi takes a step back at Pierre's tone. The sick fear traveling down his spine. He lets out a deep sigh and nods quietly. "Okay. Okay I will take him."
Pierre seems to relax at his words and he dips his head in thanks to Kimi. "All I'm asking of you both is to try. Maybe some time away from all of us will help."
Kimi nods, but deep down he thinks nothing on this earth could ever fix him and Sebastian ever again.
"Myla look!" Sebastian points at the dark gray wolf prowling around the large open window, a big smile on his face when he notices Myla's look of utter wonder.
"Wolfie!" Myla presses her face to the glass, bouncing on her toes as she watches the wolf walk around the trees.
"Yes a wolf! A real one! Not like me and Papa." Sebastian tells her, dropping a kiss on top of her head. "I once ran with a pack of them."
Myla turns her gaze from the wolf and to her father, curiously looking at him. "Really?"
"Yes! They let me follow them. It was amazing! Maybe later Papa and I can take you to meet them?" Sebastian offers her gently.
Myla let's out the most excited squeal. "Yes! Yes please!" She bounces around, all full of beans.
Sebastian laughs softly and turns to look at Kimi, who is sitting alone scrolling on his phone. His gut twists with pain and he tries to keep his happy tone up. "Liebe? You wanna take Myla out later to see the wolves?"
Kimi looks up and shakes his head. "No. I've got some work to do for my motocross team. You can take her though."
Sebastian tries not to let anything slip into his voice at the cold reply. "But it's better if we both take her. Extra protection. You remember last time don't you?"
Kimi feels cold lace his bones as he remembers the hunt, but his reply is colder even then that. "We called the authorities. The woods should be guarded now."
"But we should do this as a family." Sebastian replies, his voice hardening a little and Myla watches both her parents, her head turning this way and that with each reply.
Kimi lets out a soft snort and Sebastian tenses at the disregard Kimi apparently had these days. "Look. You can take her if you want. I don't want to change."
Myla moves away from Sebastian and looks at Kimi. "But I want wolfie. You're tall. I see better."
The little girl's voice almost wobbles and Kimi feels shame fill him. He made it a rule never to show their Daughter how broken the two of them were and it looked like he was breaking it.
"You have a valid point Myla girl." He says gently, putting the phone away. "How about tomorrow night we both take you? There's going to be northern lights in the sky and I bet that will be magical!"
"Daddy what's the northern lights?" Myla asks, turning to look at Sebastian.
Sebastian forces a cheerful tone as he replies to her. "They're lights that light up the sky sometimes. Really pretty."
Myla gasps and looks at Kimi. "I want to go then!"
"Then we will." Kimi holds out his arms and Myla goes to him for cuddles and kisses. "You, me and Papa."
Kimi meets Sebastian's gaze over Myla's head and he tries not to feel guilty at how heartbroken Sebastian looks.
In Kimi's mind, Sebastian had made his bed and he had to lie in it. There was no turning back.
"Will you ever love me again?" Sebastian's voice is quiet in the darkness of their bedroom. A question voiced from the distance the two of them had in their own bed. Usually Sebastian would be curled up with Kimi and neither would have their own space. But now? Space was all they had.
Kimi doesn't reply. Not sure how to answer Sebastian's question. He wants to say something but he almost feels blocked. There is something making him unable to tell Sebastian anything he doesn't feel and that includes whether he loves him or not.
Sebastian doesn't say anything else but Kimi can feel him. The sadness is as deep as the tide swallowing them whole.
The two fall into an uneasy sleep. Hurting and alone.
Kimi awakens at three am to sharp lancing pain. He sits up, his heart pounding out an erratic rhythm and everything in his body feeling like it's too tight for him. He looks at his hands and notices the movement of his bones underneath, little shocks of pain accompanying the movement. He was changing against his will.
Trying to fight back his groans of pain, Kimi gets up from bed, trying not to alert Sebastian as he heads downstairs and stumbles to the front door. His rapidly changing hands fumble with the locks and his back arches as a spasm rocks him and almost makes him slide to the floor. Stars blind his vision at the blinding pain and his entire body seems to itch all over as it goes through the change without him being prepared.
Kimi hasn't shifted for weeks unless it was full moon. His wolf was used to regular changes and now it wanted out with or without his consent. Kimi hasn't had this problem in years.
He manages to get the door open and he all but falls onto the ground. The scent of the woods driving the change even faster and he only just manages not to cry out as his body is forced to twist and contort into the shape of his wolf.
He mercifully passes out near the end.
When Kimi regains consciousness, he is wolf shaped and finds himself deep in the woods. His wolf had taken him over up until this point and now had given him control back. He doesn't understand why exactly until he catches a scent on the breeze. There was a human around.
Kimi flicks his ears and scans the woods around him, silently stalking around the trees. Something was wrong. Why would someone be in the woods at this time? The land was protected. He had made sure of it.
He sniffs the air again, feeling his wolf getting anxious. He catches the scent of the man again and he freezes.
Because this time he can smell what his wolf had smelt. Why his wolf had given him back control again.
Silver.
He was being hunted.
Shadows flick through the trees and Kimi turns this way and that in the darkness, looking for a way to escape. He had to get home. He had to get to his mate and their Daughter. They had to leave.
Something sharp hits his flank and he yelps, twisting to see what it is. A needle sticks out of his flank and Kimi can already feel the cold liquid sweep through his body.
Kimi collapses onto the ground. His vision fading in and out as he loses consciousness and the men hunting him creep ever closer.
Kimi has no idea how long he is out for, but when he regains consciousness he finds himself human shaped and trapped in a cage. He blinks slowly, giving a soft groan at how much his entire body hurts.
He tries to look around him, trying to will his wolf to help him see better, but his wolf feels far away. Lost to him.
Kimi's weaker human eyesight picks out a tiny spark of orange in the darkness and he tries to make it out. As his vision swims into focus he can make out that it's a campfire.
As he becomes more aware of his surroundings Kimi takes in the cage he is trapped in and he reaches up to touch the bars. A second later he removes his hand with a pained hiss, glancing at his palm to reveal he's in a cage made entirely of silver.
Clutching his burning hand to his chest he looks around in fear. He couldn't change in this cage. The transformation would hurt in such a small place and the touch of the silver would cause him to burn himself if he tried. As it was he wouldn't be able to heal his current burn so he had to be careful.
Swallowing down his fear, Kimi tries to keep calm. His wolf was out of it. He was on his own.
Or was he?
Closing his eyes he focuses on the bond between himself and oh.
No.
The bond was still there. It still connected them. But it's almost lifeless when he touches it. He focuses on the faded thread and pushes through it the desire for safety. The desire of protection and love. He wants Sebastian to save himself and their Daughter. Kimi realizes he would gladly die for them.
It's his last act as the three hunters become aware he has awoken and they approach the cage, menace in their eyes.
"So the big bad wolf finally awakens"
Sebastian awakens to the feel of the love and his entire mind seems to howl a warning. He sits up, looking around the room and notices Kimi is gone.
Cold dread pulses through him and his wolf awakens, a terrible cold anger sweeping through him.
Kimi was in danger.
Getting out of bed he makes sure Myla is safe in her room before he rushes outside, finding Kimi's torn clothing. He looks towards the trees and starts to take off his clothing, only just keeping his wolf back until he's got all his clothes off.
"I'm coming, Kimi." Sebastian whispers as he lets the change take him.
When it's over and he's a wolf he dives into the trees, following Kimi's scent trail.
Whether Kimi still loved him or not he would not leave Kimi alone while he was in danger. Not now or ever.
He would die for him.
"Why are you doing this?" Kimi asks, his voice cold as he watches the three men prowl around his cage like predators. He tries not to show his fear as they walk around him, casually holding shiny silver coated knives and holding guns with silver amo.
The main hunter shrugs, cleaning his silver knife. "There is a lot of money to be made out of werewolf fur. It's worth it's weight in gold. We make more money from that than a regular wolf pelt."
"So you kill innocent werewolves for their fur. Lovely." Kimi deadpans, shaking his head.
"Oh there is no such thing as an innocent werewolf.” The man replies. “You’re all cursed. You have the devil inside you, whispering all kinds of sin.”
Kimi scoffs at his words, shaking his head. “That is utter bullshit. Werewolves are not automatically evil, regardless of whether they’re scratched or not. They’re human, just like everybody else.”
“That’s the devil in you talking. You’re not good. You’re not even worth being called human. You’re a vessel of the devil and it’s up to people like us to get rid of you.”
“So let me get this straight. If we’re vessels of the devil and deserve to die then what does that make you? Killing werewolves for their fur? How is that any better than what we are?” Kimi asks, meeting the hunter’s eyes.
“We are working in the name of the Lord. Your kind are better off dead and as fur coats rather than alive and able to enslave good people.” The man replies, moving closer to the cage with the gun leveled at Kimi’s head. “It’s just a shame the devil changed your shape back before we could skin you for your fur. Sadly there is only one thing left to do with you now. That’s to send you to hell. Permanently.”
The gun cocks and Kimi bravely meets the gaze of the men around him. So long as Sebastian has actually heeded his warning, he could die a happy man. “You’re wrong. There’s no devil in me. There never has been. I’m just a man who just so happens to turn into a wolf. I’m still me. I’m not the monster here. You are. How many people have died in your hands? Slaughtered for their fur? How many families have you broken? I can tell you I can safely go to hell knowing I’m not truly a monster.”
“You fucking little-” The man raises the gun, gets ready to aim. But before he can do so, a pale blond blur rushes at him and knocks the gun to the floor. To Kimi’s surprise and astonishment Sebastian stands between the men, snarling and angry.
“Sebby no. Run. Get out of here. Go!” Kimi yells, clutching at the bars of the cage without thinking and burning his hands all over again. He lets go of the bars with a pained sound.
The sound of his pain seems to make Sebastian go wild and instead of running like Kimi wants him to, he attacks, leaping at the men and trying to take them down, snarling and snapping. Fighting with his entire heart.
Kimi lets out a little sob of pain at seeing the men attack his mate with silver knives and he grabs the bars of his cage, yanking at the silver with all his strength. The pain is unlike anything he’s ever experienced in his entire life and his blood runs down the bars from his effort to break free of the cage. But he doesn’t care. He only cares about his mate.
He finally gets the bars bent enough that he can get out and he does so, moving towards the men. He grabs one of them and throws them hard enough into a tree to knock him out, then he goes after the second, knocking him out with the end of his gun.
Only the main man remains and he is currently fighting his mate, trying to slash him again and again with the silver knife. Sebastian keeps dodging but Kimi can tell he is tiring.
Kimi takes a fallen gun from the ground and levels it at the man, clicking the catch. “Get the fuck away from him.”
The man looks at him, a deadly glint in his eye. He is almost insane with glee. “It’s your mate isn’t it? And he is a wolf….”
Kimi doesn’t say anything but his eyes meet Sebastian’s just as the man strikes and the silver knife plunges towards Sebastian’s chest.
Kimi lets off a shot, shooting the man’s hand so he drops the knife. The man gasps and clunches his bloody hand to his chest as Kimi storms over to him and hits him hard enough in the head to knock him out.
Kimi finds himself breathing heavily, dropping the gun to the ground as his knees give out. He looks at his burnt and bloodied hands, almost feeling sick at the extent of the damage.
A soft whine distracts his attention to Sebastian and the German approaches, silently sniffing at his hands in worry.
“It’s….it’s…okay…Sebby….all okay….I just…need…a shift…” Kimi gets out, breathing through the intense pain. He feels hot and feverish, sweat dripping from his forehead from the silver burning in his hands.
Sebastian whimpers and he silently presses himself close to him, resting his muzzle against his shoulder in silent comfort.
Kimi slowly wraps his arms around him, being careful not to touch him with his injured hands. He closes his eyes, breathing in Sebastian’s warm scent. They were okay, they were safe. “Did you use your claws on them?”
Sebastian shakes his head against his shoulder, sighing as he takes in his scent. Kimi was safe.
“Good…good. We don’t need them as werewolves, but if we’re lucky they kill themselves before their first moon.” Kimi murmurs, exhausted and fatigued.
They stand there together under the light of the half moon, just holding onto each other, until Kimi hears a faint drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Kimi frowns and pulls back from Sebastian, his entire body suddenly no longer feeling feverishly hot but deadly cold as he stares at the knife plunged into Sebastian’s side.
Sebastian whines and turns his head to look, staring at the knife in fear before his legs tremble and he all but falls into Kimi’s arms.
“No…No…No…No…No.” Kimi takes the handle in his burnt hands and he pulls it out, wincing at Sebastian’s cry of pain as he places his hands over the wound to stabilize it. “NO…”
Sebastian is a deadweight against his chest as his blood flows over Kimi’s hands. The silver makes the injury worse than a normal knife would.
“Seb? Shift. Now. Shift. You’ve gotta shift. Now. You’re gonna bleed out. Please.” Kimi begs as he stems the bleeding with his one hand and cradles his mate’s head in his other, not caring about getting his blood all over Sebastian’s fur. “Please, Kulta. I can’t lose you. I can’t.”
Tears fall down Kimi’s face as he looks at his mate, who tenderly tries to lick his tears away. “Why aren’t you fucking shifting? I don’t care how much it’s going to hurt you. You’re going to die okay? I don’t want you to die. Please…fucking do it!”
Sebastian looks up at him, fear and pain in his eyes and Kimi silently places their heads together, a sob leaving him. “You can do it. I’m here. You’re not going to die and you’re not alone.”
Sebastian seems to tremble in his arms and Kimi worries he is too late until he hears the first snap of Sebastian’s reshaping bones. He lets out a breath of relief and holds onto Sebastian as he slowly and labourlesy changes back into his human form.
The sounds of pain Sebastian makes utterly breaks Kimi’s heart and he keeps talking to him, trying to give him comfort through one of the worst shifts Sebastian would ever face as the process removes the silver and repairs the organ damage.
When it’s over, Sebastian is passed out in his arms and Kimi doesn’t even care for himself. He maneuvers Sebastian’s unconscious form into his arms and gets up and almost stumbles. He regains his footing and continues on his way through the woods, holding Sebastian tenderly against him all the way back to the cabin.
Kimi gets Sebastian into their bed as carefully as he can, before he thinks about taking the silver out of himself. He shifts into his wolf form and then back. Once he’s done he is entirely exhausted but he still goes into the bathroom and grabs a cloth, heading back over to Sebastian and cleaning the blood from his face and chest. His movements are tender and loving and as he looks at Sebastian he realises he does love him. No matter what.
Sebastian doesn’t wake up until the dawn light is flooding the bedroom. When he opens his eyes, everything hurts and his side is tender as all hell. But that doesn’t seem important as he turns to look at the warm weight at his side.
Kimi is there. His Kimi. Curled up against him like he had never made any distance between them. One arm is wrapped around his waist protectively and his face is nuzzled as close to his mating mark as he can get.
Sebastian stays as still as possible, just silently watching his mate, before the tears burn his eyes and his sobs break from his body like they will never stop.
Kimi remains oblivious, in a deep healing sleep as Sebastian breaks down at the idea of Kimi loving him again.
When Kimi wakes up at last, the first thing he does is check on Sebastian. The beta opens his eyes at feeling Kimi awaken and they both stare at each other, both unable to make the first move.
In the end Kimi silently reaches across and cups his cheek, gazing into his eyes. His thumb brushes a line over his cheek and jaw and he swallows thickly at the revelation that he had almost lost him for good.
Sebastian leans into his touch and Kimi moves even closer, pressing the softest kiss against his lips. Tender and gentle. Sebastian kisses him back, almost hesitant, but he returns the gentle affection.
It’s a start.
Later that evening Myla asks Kimi to read her bedtime story to her. The mood in the house had been better than it had been for days and Myla had been happier due to that. She had been disappointed that Kimi had decided against their trip to see the Northern Lights but he had promised her to see them the following night.
Kimi had reported the hunting again and he had been given confirmation that they had captured the hunters in the woods. The police had wondered why the weapons had all been made of silver, so Kimi had feigned not knowing why and had told them he had found them out hunting while walking through the woods. He had also made a mental note to himself that he would never visit here ever again.
As Kimi makes his way to Myla’s room he finds his daughter in bed holding her book and looking determinedly at him. “I read story to you.”
“Yeah?” Kimi asks with a small smile as he sits on the end of her bed. “Let’s hear it then.”
Myla picks up her book and clears her throat. “Once pon a time. There was a wolfie and he loved another wolfie very much.” She begins in a serious voice.
Kimi pauses, but nods gently for her to continue.
“But the Wolfie was cold to the other Wolfie and made him cry. The cold Wolfie did not know how mean he was. The other Wolfie never told him and cried secretly. The Princess of the castle saw the other Wolfie was sad even when he smiled. She knew he wanted the cold Wolfie to see how sad he was. He just wants love.”
Myla looks up at her father, meeting his gaze dead on.
A soft sob catches their attention and both turn their heads to see Sebastian in the doorway, a hand against his side and tears running down his face as he hears his Daughter’s story.
It’s clear Sebastian is going to run away but Kimi gets up, moving over to Sebastian and gently placing his hand over his on his side.
“Hey…you should be resting…” Kimi whispers, his thumb brushing over his hand.
“I’m…I’m fine…I just wanted…to hear Myla read.” Sebastian sniffs softly, trying to brush his tears away.
Kimi silently does it for him with his other hand, looking into his eyes. “Seb?”
Sebastian meets his gaze, his lip wobbling.
Kimi sniffs a little, moving his hands to cup his face. “I forgive you okay? I forgive and I love you so damn much. You’re my light in the darkness. I love you and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know this.”
Sebastian breaks down sobbing and pulls himself into Kimi’s arms. Kimi returns the hug tightly, his own tears falling as they hold each other and break. A break they needed to heal again.
Myla watches from her bed, feeling relief flood her. Her parents were going to be okay now. She was sure of it.
Kimi pulls back from the hug to cup Sebastian’s cheeks again and kiss him slow and deep. A meaningful kiss. Sebastian returns it, clutching at his shirt as if to keep Kimi there and not allow him to disappear.
They were going to heal. He was sure of it.