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The first thing Buck noticed was that he felt… detached. He wasn't numb, per se, he just couldn't feel anything. It was a strange experience; the feeling of his heart beating and his lungs contracting were absent, but he could still feel the ground beneath his feet and the air on his face.
"Buck, it's so lovely to meet you!" The words came from his left and he spun to find their source, surprised that he hadn't noticed anyone standing there before. The greeting was so warm that it took him a moment to realize he had no idea where he was. It was bright, not a sunny Los Angeles morning bright, but more of a surrounding light that had no one source. The sky above him was so crystal blue he expected to see his reflection, and in the distance he could hear the faint, melodic splashes of the ocean. There was no sand under his feet, though. No, instead he was standing on what appeared to be nothing more than a cloud of mist. Huh, that couldn't be right. Fog, then? How could there be fog when the sky was so clear…?
He focused for the first time on the person standing in front of him. The man was tall, easily matching Buck's six feet two inches, he had dark brown curls and hazel eyes the size of saucers. It was his smile, though, that rang familiar bells in Buck's head. He felt like he had seen this man before, but where?
"Uh, hi. Who are you, exactly? And, uh, how do you know my name?" He realized how rude he sounded but it just couldn't be helped. The man smiled again and clasped his hands in front of him. "My name is Daniel. I've been sent here to welcome you." Buck blinked, confused. Daniel . Did he know that name? It felt important. Buck scrunched one eye closed and tried to focus. "And where, exactly, are you welcoming me to?"
Daniel's smile only grew until he was well and truly glowing with it. He spread his hands in an all encompassing gesture. "To Heaven, of course!" Heaven? That couldn't be right. Though it would explain how he was standing on the beach in the fog with a perfectly clear sky above him. Heaven, huh? He should be more freaked out than he was. Why wasn't he freaking out? "If this is Heaven, how did I get here? What happened?" Daniel's smile shrunk only minutely as he rested a comforting, friendly hand on Buck's shoulder. "You died, Buck. You went in your sleep, very peacefully. Surrounded by love and happiness."
Buck still wasn't concerned, just confused. "It's not normal to die so young. I'm healthy and, and strong." Wasn't he? He couldn't actually remember. "How could I die already?" Daniel squeezed Buck's shoulder once before folding his hands once more. "No, Buck. You were an old man. You lived a very long, very happy life. You died at the age of 96 laying next to the love of your life." This had to be a lie. How could he not remember his life? Why couldn't he remember? "Why can't I remember?" A sympathetic smile from Daniel. He seemed to measure his words before he spoke. "The transition into the afterlife isn't always an easy one, many times it's painful or traumatic. People come to us angry, hurt, in denial - completely unwilling to accept their new reality - and so, in the gateway there is a block put on memories. Not permanently, and it isn't a strong one, just enough to soften the transition into Heaven. Many people experience what you call deja vu and their memories slowly come back to them."
Buck took a moment to absorb the information he was just given. It made sense, he was having deja vu, after all. He wet his lips even though they weren't dry before speaking. "Is that why I feel like I know you? Do I? Who are you?" Daniel's eyes crinkled in thought. "That one is a little harder to answer. When a soul passes over, someone is sent to welcome them and explain all the important things. Almost like a concierge, if you will. It's always someone with a close personal connection. For you, that would be me, your brother." A memory flashed across Buck's eyes. A picture of a little boy that looked so much like himself, smiling and posing with his bike. Failure, guilt, grief, jealousy - Buck felt them all, or rather, the memory of feeling them as he met Daniel's eyes.
He took an unsteady step forward and raised his hand out as if to touch Daniel. "I, I'm so sorry. I couldn't save you." Daniel smiled again and locked his hand with Buck's out reaching one. "Buck. It's okay, you have nothing to apologize for. This is how it was always meant to be. Your purpose wasn't to save me anymore than it was mine to run into burning buildings." He dropped Buck's hand and replaced it with his own again. He really seemed to like holding his own hand.
Buck rubbed a hand across the back of his neck as he tried to absorb this new information. "Uh, Daniel? Why are you grown up? You died when you were a little kid." Daniel let out a small laugh at that. "Time and age work differently here, Buck." Buck nodded, that made sense. Sort of.
"I'll tell you anything else you want to know. We have nothing but time, but for now I think there are some people that want to say hello." His sister! Maddie had to be here, right? There was no way he made it to Heaven and she didn't. Buck was just opening his mouth to ask where she was when a soft breeze brushed across his skin. He turned to see where it had come from and his breath caught at the sight of someone standing behind him.
Eddie.
A million memories flashed across Buck's mind in an instant, a projector movie of a lifetime spent between them.
A home in a quiet suburban neighborhood.
A marriage built on friendship that lasted 61 amazing years.
Children, three beautiful children. None of which shared blood but it didn't matter; they were the best of friends.
A lifetime of promises, of forever and always, to always have each other's backs.
Mostly, though, there was so much love .
Eddie, his partner, his best friend, his husband was standing right in front of him. "Eddie. What, what are you doing here?" Eddie's smile was one of soft contentment and devotion, face completely unchanged by age. His eyes lit up like no one else's could, like the moon itself resided in them.
"We always said we would go together."