Work Text:
Mickey wasn’t sure why the hell Debbie suddenly showed up at his apartment on a random Tuesday afternoon. All he knew was that he was pissed off because was in the midst of opening the lube bottle when the front door sounded. Both men tried to ignore it, minds occupied with one another’s bodies but the noise persisted.
“Fucking hell” Mickey finally gave him. He pushed the sheets scrunched up around his legs off of the bed, standing to collect his clothes. He threw on the pair of boxers Ian had discarded less than five minutes ago, throwing the rest of his husband’s clothes vaguely towards the bed. “If its Allan coming to yell about the pool thing again I’m gonna fuckin piss on his clothes the next time”
He threw on his shirt as he stomped down the hallway. He reached the door swinging it open, a scowl on his face before he even saw who was on the other side.
Of course, it was the familiar redhead. Debbie looked distressed, tears welting from her mascara-caked eyes as she stood in front of the door trembling slightly, sniffling and rubbing at her nose every few seconds. His eyes wandered down a little to see Franny holding her mom’s other hand. She seemed just as confused as he was but gave her favourite uncle an enthusiastic wave.
Debbie wasted no time with pleasantries, she hardly ever did, shoulder checking Mickey as she made her way into the apartment, Franny dragging behind her.
“Well fuckin hello to you too, make yourself at home I guess” Mickey sarcastically called after her, shutting the door. Debbie didn’t give him the time of day, instead, she called out, voice breaking in the process. “Ian?” she called out wiping at her nose again. She dropped Franny’s hand inching closer to the bedroom door.
“Debbie?” Ian called back, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as he met her in the hallway. Upon seeing her his stomach dropped down to his ass. “Fuck, Debs what’s wrong?”
As it turned out it wasn’t anything major, thankfully. She had just gotten into a huge fight with Lip. That wasn’t anything extremely out of the ordinary since Lip and Tami moved back into the Gallagher’s home. But since she returned from Texas, abandoning her ‘girlfriend’ Heidi to come back to Illinois by herself all the Gallagher brothers were pretty sure she was suffering from some psychotic break. None of them wanted to push her new delicate state so they tiptoed around her in this extremely fragile state. Except for Lip, apparently. And now Ian had to deal with his little sister.
She was foggy on the details, tearing up anytime she tried to speak -which Mickey was convinced were crocodile tears but he would rather carve out his eyes with a dull spoon than interject himself willingly into any Debbie drama-. She eventually managed to croak out that Lip kicked her and Franny out. For the record, he didn't; she was being dramatic and Ian wouldn’t find that information out for another few weeks.
Somehow somewhere in the discomfort of all her crying Ian offered their apartment as a place for her to crash. ‘ Fucking Fantastic ’ Mickey immediately thought.
Mickey didn’t mind Franny. The kid was pretty great. It was his mother that he had the issue with. In theory, Debbie really never brought him any discomfort. He thought she was pushy, a little annoying but he could definitely stand her. She was definitely overbearing but didn’t have that many more flaws than any of the other Gallagher’s. He lived with them for years, technically, so he guessed that a few nights with her in their small space wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. He had gotten a little too used to a relaxed life those few months that he and Ian had been living on their own because holy shit Debbie’s constant nagging was really starting to get to him. He swallowed all those feelings down and shut up because she cooked them dinner and it was definitely better than the fast-food Ian and him’s diet divulged into.
She stayed out in the living room, on the same shitty air mattress Ian and Mickey had camped out on for the first few days living in the apartment. Franny got the couch. The arrangement wasn’t the worst but Mickey really fucking missed the privacy he had gained.
On day three Debbie had excused herself out early that morning. She was apparently going to take Franny to the park then the library so she could finish up a project for her kindergarten class. Told the two not to wait up for her until nightfall. Mickey didn’t know that libraries were even still a thing but shrugged it off. Inside he was ecstatic. ‘Finally’ He thought. The apartment was Ian and Mickey’s sacred space. They could fuck again without Debbie throwing things at their bedroom door complaining that they were being too loud.
They had a few pickups that morning, rushed through them and were home in record time. “Let's shower first, aye?” Ian kicked his boots off at the front door, already unbuckling his belt. “Aw fuck” he suddenly stopped. Mickey was throwing his vest on the couch, it hit one of Franny’s stuffed animals onto the floor but Mickey would pick it up later. His attention remained on his husband. Mickey lifted an eyebrow beckoning his husband to keep talking. “Debbie took the laundry with her this morning. All our towels are probably in the dryer still” he tipped his shoe over, sticking his foot into it.
Quickly Ian leaned over, pecking Mickey’s lips. “I’ll be right back. Get yourself ready, yeah?” he squeezed his husband’s ass, fingertips rubbing against the cameo pants. “Got a surprise for ya” he gave Mickey one last devilish grin before disappearing back behind their front door.
Mickey stripped out of his work uniform, leaving himself only in an undershirt and a pair of boxers. He figured he should probably pee before he prepped himself so he made a pit stop to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at how messy the place was. All of Debbie’s makeup sprawled out across the counters, Franny’s washable markers and toys stayed in the bath, and there was a straightener -or curler Mickey didn’t fucking know the difference- in the sink.
He scoffed once more, stopping in front of the toilet. As he did his business his eyes caught something off to the side on the opposite side of the counter where he was closest to. His hand reached out grabbing the mystery item. It was an oddly-shaped pink stone. He tilted it around trying to make sense of what it was. It kinda looked like a tongue. Kinda vaguely looked like this skinny vibrator he saw the last time he trolled through the sex toy website he and Ian frequnted. Then it hit him. This was a sex toy, Ian’s surprise.
He grinned to himself, flushing the toilet and moving in front of the counter under the light to get a better look. He wasn’t sure how they were going to use it but he was intrigued and definitely excited.
Ian returned shortly after, a towel draped against his forearm. “Hey” he smiled at Mickey who hadn’t moved an inch, still puzzled. “Whatcha doing?”
“Trying to figure out how we’re gonna use this” He held the toy up, directly in Ian’s eye line.
“Huh?” Ian hung their towel on the rod behind Mickey, taking a step closer to get a better look at what Mickey was holding.
“Mick… that’s Debbie’s”
Mickey looked up into Ian’s eyes, complete and absolute abject horror painted across his face. He threw the stone back onto the counter, narrowly avoiding hitting the mirror in front of him as he shuttered, wiping his hands on his boxers. “Fuckin gross! I just touched your sister fucking kegel rock or whatever the fuck it is”
“Mickey, what are you talking about?”
He wasn’t calming down any. “The fucking sex toy your sister just left out on the fucking counter for anyone to see. What if Franny got to it first, huh? That’s fucking disgusting” he added a little gag to emphasise his point.
It took Ian a moment but when he caught onto Mickey’s line of thought his eyes opened wide. “Mickey- what?! You thought?” he composed himself a little, clearing his voice. “Mick. that’s for her face, not a sex toy”
Mickey’s eyebrows didn’t fall from the top of his forehead. “What?”
“Haven’t you seen her use it at night? She rubs it all over her face, I’m guessing it's good for circulation or something? I don’t know I could ask her-”
“Wait, so this isn’t the surprise?”
“No!” Ian couldn’t contain his laughter. Mickey was burning red and Ian would be damned if he wasn’t enjoying every second of it. “Baby, it's on the nightstand. It's that self-heating lube we were talking about”. It took all of Ian’s strength not to double over and succumb to his fit of laughter but he knew Mickey would kill him and he still wanted to get laid. The two just blinked at one another. Mickey knew he wasn’t going to be able to live this down and just accepted his fate. “Oh,” he pulled their bodies close together.
“Oh,” Ian mocked back, leaning in as Mickey threw his arms around his neck, pulling him down a little. Their lips touched. “Wanna go try it out?” Mickey’s voice was sultry with anticipation.
+++
“I can’t believe you thought that Debbie's face thing was a sex toy” Ian snorted, still smiling from the post-orgasmic bliss. His arm wrapped around Mickey’s shoulder brought their two bodies impossibly close. “How would that even work?”
Mickey just blushed but made no attempt to separate himself from Ian. “I don’t know man, I’ve seen stranger things”
“It's called a gua sha apparently” Mickey looked up at the browser. ‘Stone face rub called’ was eloquently typed out. Oh, how his husband had a way with words.
Ian continued to scroll through the photos trying to suppress a laugh. “What now?” Mickey raised a playful eyebrow. Ian turned his head to see Mickey, immediately bursting into laughter. He contained himself a little, barely forming words through giggles. “Gua sha. Like you guasha your face” the last part of the sentence was in an earth-shatteringly terrible Italian accent, finger pinch gesture followed. It took Mickey a second to get it but when he did he gave the most dramatic groan he could muster, hand raising to push Ian off of him. A task made difficult by the ginger laughing into the pit of his neck.
“Haha real funny, you should consider stand-up” Mickey rolled his eyes, Ian’s body weight finally lifted off of him as his attention went back to the phone. “Okay no, these are definitely sex toys!” he tilts his screen so Mickey can get a better look. The photo was of two long cylinders, another rounder gua sha between them looked like a butt plug. Ian eyed the image over once more, zooming in.
“s’weird I think it kinda looks like it would feel good?”
Ian gave him a side-eye. “Not to put up my ass,” Mickey clarified, grabbing the phone away from Ian so the attention was all on him. “To like rub on my face”
Ian sat up at that, collecting his arm from around Mickey and hopped off the bed. His hand extended outward to Mickey who gave him a little eye roll but followed him across the hall to their bathroom.
“I think you’re supposed to lube it up with some face oil” Ian eyed their countertop, littered with Debbie’s things. He spots a small bottle of oil, grabbing it and spreading it across his fingers like he had done with the lube not that long ago. “Here face me” He grabbed Mickey’s face, soothingly rubbing his fingertips across the soft skin of Mickey’s cheeks. He was kinda into this, Mickey on the other hand was a little more hesitant.
Ian stopped the massage, grabbing the gua sha up. He held it in front of Mickey’s eyes. “You wanna do it or me?”
Mickey embarrassingly muttered a ‘you’ unsure what to do. He was positive that Ian didn’t either but at least he wouldn’t feel like an idiot about it.
Somehow they ended up back in the bedroom. Ian straddled Mickey’s chest, knees on either side of his body as Mickey laid flat on the bed. Ian’s face was his entire view, his giant head blocking the overhead light. “Ok so do you just like rub it on you?” he held the stone against Mickey’s chin.
“I guess?” Mickey closed his eyes, shuttering a little at the contact. Ian gave it his best bet, slowly he rubbed the gua sha up and down Mickey’s jaw and chin. Mickey was incredibly stiff, he didn’t really blame him. This entire situation was foreign and Ian knew he wasn’t the most gentle at times.
“Ow, this shit fuckin hurts” Mickey peeked one eye open, watching as the pink stone glide across his cheek and up to his temple. “It’s like rubbing your face on the kitchen counters” His hand moved up from Ian’s knee to his wrist to stop the movement.
“That's not the rock hard thing I want on my face”
The two shared a flirty look, a nod falling in a mutual understanding.
Mickey threw the Gua sha, it landed a few feet away from the bed frame. Later when Debbie asked why her tool was on the floor she was met with shifty eyes. She scoffed, picking it up in disgust and threw it in the trash. She didn’t want to know.