Work Text:
Fuck
/fək/ exclamation
used alone or as a noun or verb in various phrases to express annoyance, contempt, or impatience.
Mickey had come to the conclusion that he wanted to be a dad relatively by himself. He knew that was always something Ian saw in his cards. He remembered that the ginger had mentioned that when they were just fuckbuddies teetering on unofficial boyfriends. They sat under the bleachers of the dugout, drinking a few beers, sharing a cigarette. Ian had laid out his whole life plan. Join the army, get promoted through the ranks, meet a guy and have a few kids all before thirty. At the time Mickey had no idea why Ian would mention it. It wasn’t like Mickey really cared or could give him that. Especially not as a greasy teenager. As they grew up together Ian never let that dream go. He’d mention it here and then causally because he knew if he brought it up too seriously Mickey would retreat and become defensive so the comments stayed one-off. Despite the fact that he masqueraded these hopes behind small jokes or casual small-talk Mickey knew that Ian did really want a kid or two. Mickey, on the other hand, didn’t.
Kids were loud and stinky and annoying as all hell. He didn’t see the appeal. He stayed content with his life married to Ian. Which was more than he thought he would get as a scared closeted boy. Out and proud, married to the love of his life with an apartment and a good job. Life was good as just Mickey and Ian. he focused more on himself. He knew his hurt would never truly go away. The hatred he had for his own father was buried deep down in his skin, passed his bones and flesh and to his very core. He worked to heal himself the same way Ian did. Not to get to Kumbaya or anything but it was working. He realised that his trauma couldn’t hold him back. He learned to love. Never thought that would be an option when he was young and getting beaten by a man who would never love him.
So Mickey as a well-adjusted - eh - adult loved hard, making up for that lost time. And suddenly one day he realised that he had more love to give. He gradually started to think about kids in theory. He’d eye a father at the store, feeding a few cut grapes to his toddler, and think ‘huh, that doesn’t look too bad’. Ian never pushed him in his own desire to have kids onto his husband. He wouldn’t pressure him into anything, not anymore. Ian was surprised he didn’t faint on the spot when his husband told him he wanted a kid.
Mickey wasn’t a hundred percent sure that he was ready to be a dad. Didn’t think he would ever be. Those same thoughts that he was going to be a shitty dad always lingered in the back of his head but he pushed them aside. He wouldn’t let his dad, from beyond the grave, win. He had done enough hurt to Mickey already.
They knew they wanted to adopt. Carl who worked for DCFS had turned them on to the idea of fostering. And through -totally legitimate- string pulling the two ex-cons were approved and able to foster.
They stayed approved for many months with no sign of a baby or children. Mickey knew that he was a little sceptical of fostering. He knew that he was going to provide the best he could while that child was in his care but the emotional side of it was where he was iffy. Ian would love anyone. He had a huge heart that was meant to love others. Mickey was trying his best to be like that but always found himself stumped a little. He didn’t know how to full-heartedly love and trust someone from the get-go. He would be lying if he didn’t say stressing about fostering and not connecting with the kid kept him from getting good nights of sleep. Then Ruby got placed with them.
The first day with her was a little awkward. He and Ian had no clue what they were doing. They had taken care of their nephews a few times but that was always under the pretence that Tami and Lip were going to pick them up at the end of the day. With Ruby, they had no one to lean on. That was going to be the kid they were going to be responsible for as long as the state left her with them. Lucky for them Ruby was easy. She didn’t cry much and liked to be held.
It wasn't until the next morning that he felt a real connection to the baby. Ian was making coffee and asked Mickey to get her from the crib and bring her out for breakfast. Mickey was a little hesitant, this was all still so foreign and he was just a little scared he was going to drop her. “Hey there kid, I’m gonna pick you up ok?” He asked as if she understood. He grabbed her the way Ian showed him and rested her on his hip, pausing in case she chose to cry. She didn’t, instead, she smiled up at him.
Mickey didn’t know if he believed in fate. all of it kinda sounded like a bunch of bullshit to him if he was being honest. However, that morning as he held Ruby he felt this unearthed sense of content. she looked up at him with her big hazel eyes. They were so trusting and kind despite what she had been put through those few months. she cooed at him, hand raising to grab his nose. At that moment he knew fate must have been on his side that one time. His words echoed what a sleepy Ian had told him the night before. “She’s our baby”.
Fast forward an entire year and Mickey still believed that sentiment full-heartedly. It didn’t matter if she was related to her dads or not, she was their baby. The love he felt for Ruby was the same he felt towards Ian. he didn’t think he’d ever love someone as much as he did Ian. But he was proved wrong every day as his daughter grew.
The little family sat in the living room one morning. All three of them were stationed on the floor. Ruby on her little play mat, Ian to the right of her laying on his stomach as he waved her toys in front of her.
Mickey was off to the side slightly. His back rested against one of the legs of the coffee table. He had been trying to put together a crib for the last half hour. Building a new one since the old Fisher-Ball one had seen better days. Ruby had somehow managed to get her foot stuck in one of the bars the other night and woke her parents screaming bloody murder when she realised she was trapped. Suffice to say, Mickey and Ian didn’t hesitate for a second to throw out the old crib and get a new safer one.
He sighed, looking at all the pieces laid out in front of him. He had thrown the instruction manual off to the side somewhere, probably lost under the couch at that point. The pictures were confusing and he definitely wasn’t up for reading all the bullshit steps. Ian tried to help him in the beginning but Mickey didn’t know if their marriage could handle the pressure that was put on the two. Mickey was stubborn in what he was doing, got pissy with Ian as the ginger tried to tell him what to do. Plus, Ian may have competent in many and most facets of his life, however building things was really not his forte.
He had migrated off to the side. Getting Ruby out of the little pack and play she had been sleeping in -since they trashed her deathtrap old crib and let her sleep in their bed that traumatising night- and brought her over to the living room.
“God, can you believe she’s turning two in a few months?”
Mickey dropped the screwdriver in his hand with a slight scowl. “Why would you say that shit to me?” He picked at the carpet beneath him, the screw he was looking for was lost.
“What should we do for her birthday? Should we throw a party?”
Mickey looked up at him again, hands still petting the floor beside him. He perked up slightly as his fingers brushed against the cold metal. “Why would we do that? She’s two not like she’s gonna remember” He kept the nail in the palm of his hand, looking back over at the crib to see where it was supposed to go. “We can get her a cake but I really don’t want to deal with another big fucking Gallagher blow out”
Ian shrugged, rolling a ball at Ruby. That was fair. Last Gallagher party, Franny’s twelfth birthday, Mickey got pushed into the pool and almost got a concussion. He was still holding some resentment towards the family with Carl in particular.
Mickey put the screw between his teeth to keep it in place. Through clenched teeth, he added “Once DCFS gets that massive fuckin branch out of their ass and they let us finally adopt her we’ll throw a party”
Ian nodded in agreement, trying to fight back the thought in the back of his head that questioned if their status from ‘ foster parents’ to her actual legal guardians would ever come. They had been taking care of her for a year already and even with Carl helping them out from the inside couldn’t seem to land an official court date to push the adoption through. Luckily he didn’t have time to think as he felt Ruby push against his arm.
“Dadda!” She cheered, spit bubbling around the ball in her mouth as she gave a toothy smile.
She had been talking for a little over a year now. At first, her progress was slow, she only ever said ‘cat and da in reference to both of her parents’ then one day her vocabulary kinda exploded. She repeated back words she heard with pride. She could ask for things, she was growing up faster than either man liked.
Ian quickly took the ball from her mouth, she didn’t seem to mind as she repeated “Daddy?”
“Yeah, brat?” Mickey turned his head to look over at Ruby. She blinked at him confused, eyebrows scrunching down.
“No dadda” she corrected herself laughing as Mickey dramatically tossed himself back around for her amusement. She had gotten pretty good at having a separate identity for each of her dads. They made sure they only responded to what their title was to really solidify it in her little mind.
“Whatcha need my girl?” Ian flipped onto his back in a fluid motion. He grabbed Ruby, holding her above his head. She burst into giggles. Mickey felt his heart tighten in his chest as he looked over to see her smiling and cooing.
“Dadda, ‘ov you” she gave a toothy little smile. That had been the most recent thing she was obsessed with saying. She would repeat it throughout the day like her own little mantra. She was used to hearing it being said to her when she got tucked into bed, must have liked the way it sounded.
Mickey would have never pictured himself in any scenario where he would be saying ‘I love you’ every night. Definitely not as a young boy who had never been told those three words. Not even as a married adult. He and Ian had only told one another that they ‘loved’ each other a handful of times. That was a fact they knew. It was cemented in the back of their heads. Every little gesture they did was a reminder of the love they shared. Then Ruby came along and Ian would tell her every night. Mickey followed his lead because those words were absolutely true.
“Love you too, baby” Ian lowered her to his lips, placing a loud slobbery smooch on her cheek which was met with more contentful shrieking. Mickey felt butterflies bursting from their cocoons in his gut. He always liked the way Ian said ‘baby’ . How the word absolutely oozed from his lips with pure love and admiration. Mickey’s breath always hitched whenever Ian called him baby, tried not to make it obvious or bring attention to it but it drove him crazy. He had started to call Ruby baby pretty early on. The first time he had ever said it Mickey was pretty sure his heart almost gave out. He loved when he was given that title, but when Ian called their daughter the nickname, it did something deep within Mickey, like it was healing over some long-standing wound.
Mickey realised he was staring, he immediately tried to make himself seem busy once more. His hand moved to the side, hitting a metal bar that was on the floor. “Ow, fuck!” He shook his hand as if the movement would bring a premature stop to the stinging he felt. Ruby's head snapped over to her other dad at the sudden loud noise.
Mickey didn’t believe in censoring himself in front of his kid. All the snotty yippee moms would probably drop dead at that belief of his, which he thought was good. He grew up in a house where ‘fuck’ was just about the nicest thing anyone could say so naturally that translated into becoming an adult who was blunt and uncensored. He saw no reason as to why that would change when he became a dad. Babies couldn’t understand what he was saying and if their kid repeated his foul language then let it be. Plus he always thought little kids cussing was funny.
“Fuck!” Ruby repeated back with much more enthusiasm. Mickey did have to admit the vulgar language coming from her little mouth did make him burst into a giggle, distracting him from his pain for just a minute.
“Did she just?” Ian started to crack up, bringing her close to his face again.
“Yeah man,” Mickey continued to laugh, eyes crinkling up from all the laughter. “Honestly surprised it took her this long to say it”
Another fresh round of laughter came as she repeated it a little louder. “Fuck!”
“Ruby, huh?” Ian said. It was a game they played sometimes. He’d always repeat that phrase to get her to keep talking.
“Fuck!” she cheered over and over again. Mickey shook his hand some more, taking the screwdriver back into his grasp as he was in the home stretch of the building process, just the bar panel needed to be secured.
“Are we bad parents for encouraging this?” Ian finally placed her back down onto his chest, she looked up at him confused why she was getting such a rise out of her dads.
“Nah man, this is fucking hilarious” More laughter filled the room, Ruby joined in not knowing why she was laughing but she went along with it anyway in a haze of pure glee.
She managed to settle a little, muttering unintelligible words. She sprawled her arms out, Ian’s hand immediately went to her back to support her. In the motion his arm swiped across his face, his clunky watch catching his attention.
“Aye, Mick, it's almost five”
Mickey’s hands went up in an ‘and’ gesture.
“We didn’t make it to the grocery store yesterday, don’t got any food”
They usually went shopping on Saturdays, their day off. That wasn't an option yesterday as they had to take Ruby to the doctor. Her leg was red and swollen from the whole ‘killer-crib’ -as they dubbed it- incident plus she was due for a few shots so they figured they should probably take her to the paediatrician to make sure she didn’t actually hurt herself.
They worried a lot as first-time parents. Mickey found it kinda funny how much of his time was consumed trying to ensure that Ruby was okay. Maybe it was overcompensation for his own childhood of unknown broken ribs and unchecked bruises but he sure as hell wasn't going to let things like that happen to his kid.
“We should get something to eat, m’hungry”
Mickey eyed him, an annoyed expression clearly present. “You said it was five man think, her nap,” Mickey reminded.
“Oh fuck yeah” Ian rubbed his temple, switching to only having one hand supporting Ruby.
“She’s gonna be a cranky little shit without it” Mickey nodded at the kid. He then smiled fondly watching as Ruby started to doze off on Ian’s chest, her little cheek squished against his rising and falling chest.
“We can bring the wrap”
Mickey just rolled his eyes. “Man fuck you, I didn’t just spend almost two hours building this fuckin crib for her to just sleep with us again”
“Fuck” Ruby repeated again lazily, eyes fighting hard to stay open.
“Yeah, thanks brat” Mickey gestured towards the infant struggling to stay awake. “See she agrees with me here”
“Hey don’t you two be teaming up against me” Ian joked, rubbing a hand up and down Ruby’s back as she relaxed against him.
“Just put her down for a normal nap we can just go after”
“It’s Sunday, stores close early”
Mickey gave another dramatic eye roll collecting the tools around him, trying to make a path for him to be able to stand. “We can just order something then” Ian’s eyes remained undeterred on him. “I’m not dealing with another sleepy tantrum and I don’t wanna go out” Mickey was finally able to stand up.
“Fuckin tired man, been building this stupid shit for hours” he tilted the crib over again, grimacing from the weight. “Just ‘cus you’ve been a fucking pillow princess about it” Mickey gave him one last eye roll, standing up, grabbing the side of the crib for support.
“Mhm cus I’m the pillow princess, sure Mr -hands held up quotations - power bottom”
Mickey held his middle finger up making his way over to where Ian laid on the floor. He towered over him, leaning down to grab Ruby, purposely leaving Ian alone on the floor as Mickey carried Ruby to the other side of the couch.
“Want me to help you move the crib?” Ian did a crunch, sitting up, arms supporting him.
“Help?” He scoffed. “Nah tough guy, you can bring it over to her room, I already did my part putting it together, Fucker”
“Fuck” Ruby gave a little nod in agreement, Mickey rewarded her support with a hair tussle.
Ian rolled his eyes knowing that there was no way he would get out of doing this on his own. He managed to get up on his own, finger brushing against the slobbery trail Ruby had left on his shirt as if acknowledging it was there would make it come out easier. “Your dad’s being an asshole, ain't he Bee?”
Ruby ignored him, already dozing off again as Mickey raised her to lay against his chest. He rocked back and forth in a soothing motion for the tired kid. “Bee?” Mickey picked up. That was a new one.
“Oh yeah, well I figured she needs a nickname and since you hate Rubs-”
“I don’t hate Rubs,” Mickey immediately interjected, a scowl.
“Uh-huh, then why do you act all pissy every time Lip says it?”
“Cus the fucker says it all annoying on fucking purpose. Mr big fucking brain sounds like he's struggling to just call her by her name. Rubs and Ruby take the exact amount of time to say, fuckface” Mickey’s voice was a little louder than he was anticipating it to be. He didn’t realise how passionate the nickname her uncle chose for her was to him until that moment.
“Yeah Mick thanks for proving my point”
Mickey raised the familiar one-finger salute at his husband, another annoyed eye roll followed. “So your solution to my hatred- shut up don’t smile like you’re right” Mickey warned, playfully raising his hand up like he was going to hit Ian. Ian however took it as a sign, grabbing Mickey’s hand and pushing it aside. “Is Bee? Why Bee?”
“Ru-Bee” Ian gave a little shrug like that was obvious, hand scratching the back of his neck. “She’s our little honeybee, I don’t know”
Mickey tried his hardest not to give in to the smile his face was trying to mould into. God, they were so sappy and domestic now.
Ian’s expectant eyes were the only thing to get Mickey to not stop and think about their little family further. “Bee?” Mickey thought it over. “Hey Bee” he tapped on her pudgy little arm, head immediately snapping up to look at him, eyes forced comically wide. Her eyebrows creased in confusion.
“Yeah kid, I don’t know what your dads on either. Do you like us callin you, Bee?” his hand reached forward, grabbing her little chin and wiping away some slobber.
He saw her face scrunch up again like she was thinking about it. “Fuck!” she finally decided.
“Aye, well, we can’t call you that brat so I guess Bee it is” Mickey’s hand stayed on her chin, he leaned forward placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He then looked back up at Ian. “Now stop stalling bitch, go” he nodded towards the crib. “C’mon Bee, tell him”
Ian tried to suppress the smile created by Mickey using the nickname he thought up for their child. He pushed it down, however, remembering he currently held resentment for his husband.
Ian had managed to drag the crib down the hallway with only a minor struggle. He made sure to stop a few times to flip Mickey off and remind him how much he hated him. That was only met with smiles and nods of encouragement.
He finally managed to get the crib, in one piece Mickey proudly added, into the same spot the old deathtrap stood. He fixed her mattress back in it, patting the bedding as a sign well done. His hands extended forward, taking a half-asleep Ruby back in his arms as Mickey muttered something about ordering dinner because he was overworked and tired. Ian made sure to holler a few insults his way at the last part, Ruby lazily repeated back one more Fuck before curling up with her little blanket, making stretch out in her new nice crib.
Mickey made his way back to the living room, kicking the tools he previously used under the couch to the cat's amusement. He had done enough that day, cleaning up after himself was pushing a limit. He was about to call Pizza Hut when Ian came running out of the nursery and back into the living room.
“Mick!” Ian’s cheeks were bright red, he bit his tongue trying to suppress the laughter billowing up in his chest. “Mickey c’mere”
He of course followed Ian into the nursery, admiring the crib first before looking down at Ruby whose eyes fluttered open and closed like she was trying so hard to stay awake just because she knew her dads were in the room.
“Tell her you love her” Ian nudged Mickey’s ribs with his elbow. Mickey gave him a look that meant ‘why are you prompting this’ but took the request leaning over to look into the crib.
“Hey, brat?” Her eyes snapped open at the sudden mention of her. He waited till her eyes were focused expectantly, a little dopey smile fell upon her lips. “Love ya”
“Fuck you” she repeated back, smacking her lips in contentment.
Ian couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore, it got more aggressive when he saw his husband’s confused expression. He could barely get the air into his lungs from how hard he was laughing.
“Fuck” He wiped his eyes, swallowing hard to try to catch his breath. “She did the same thing to me” He tried to swallow back another wave of laughter, a quirked up half-smile tried its hardest to suppress the urge. “We’re terrible parents” he joked.
That seemed to hit Mickey right in the funny bone. He spurted out a chuckle as well because holy shit did he love that kid and all her antics. Plus the entire situation of their innocent kid proudly telling them to fuck off was just too funny. She was definitely a Gallagher, for sure a Milkovich despite the fact that her birth certificate still said her legal name of Bishop, she was undoubtedly her fathers’ daughter.
They continued to laugh, Mickey’s fists wrapped around the top railing of the crib, trying to contain himself. Any time he would think about her little voice calling out ‘fuck’ he would start to laugh harder which in turn meant Ian started to laugh again. A vicious, terribly amusing, cycle overtaking them.
Ruby, however, didn’t find the whole ‘fuck’ situation as funny anymore. She squinted up at them, annoyed. She readjusted herself “Daddy, dadda stop! Sleep, fuck!”
They both bit their tongues again, still cracking up and trying to stop but they couldn’t help it. “Sorry baby” Ian managed to bend down once more to kiss her little forehead, he pulled her blanket up to cover her.
“Night sweetcheeks” Mickey followed the second Ian retreated backwards. The tall ginger held a hand over his mouth, still sputtering lost syllables in an attempt to get the laughing to stop. Mickey managed to bite his laughter back long enough to kiss her forehead too, thumb caressing her cheek a few times, watching her eyes flutter and stay closed before retreating back.
Ian clicked on the baby monitor before closing the door. They both bursted into even more laughter the second they heard the ‘click’ of a closed door.
“Holy fuck that shits funny” Mickey coughed, making his way a door down to their bedroom, not wanting to forget to grab the other monitor.
“Probably shouldn’t take her out in public for a while” Ian cracked up again, landing on the bed, letting the mattress catch him as he fell backwards. “Don’t want her cursing out strangers too” his arms reached above his head in a deep stretch.
Mickey sat next to Ian, legs touching in their confined space. He let out a long huff, laying back too. He hadn’t realised how much tension he was holding from the day until his back was cracking and crying for some relief against their comfortable mattress.
“Nah man we got to use this to our advantage” Mickey hit Ian’s arm. The ginger turned his head to look at his husband, attention fully spent concentrating on what Mickey was trying to say.
“We can just get her to start telling people to fuck off. She gets a free pass ‘cus what? Someone gonna start shit with a baby? Fuck no” Mickey’s lips curled inward, hand reaching up to caress Ian’s cheek like he had done to Ruby a few minutes earlier. “We won the lottery of excuses here, E”
“Uh-huh,” Ian leaned into the touch. “Don’t let our power go straight to your head”
A contentful hum. “Too late”
Another snort, then comfortable silence as they took the opportunity to recollect themselves.
“Hey” Mickey tried to pull his upper body up slightly, struggling under the comfortable circumstances and Ian’s hand placed firmly on his chest, right next to his ‘Ian Galagher’ tattoo as Ian usually rested.
“Thinking about what you said earlier”
“Oh great, you thinking” Ian sarcastically mumbled, Mickey, hit him with his arm and finally sat up all the way.
“Hardy har asshole” Mickey gave the man another playful nudge, Ian didn’t make any attempts to sit up like Mickey was. “What I was trying to get at is that we’re good fucking dads. You know that right?”
Ian felt his heart constricting in his chest, he worried that if he thought about his husband’s words even more it would explode. He was so proud of their little family. Of Ruby and her development despite her troubling start to life. Mickey and how easily he fell into fatherhood. He was proud of Mickey for knowing and accepting the fact that he was a great dad, doing the best he could for their daughter.
“Yeah, I do” Ian spoke up, no teasing or joking comment could follow the simple question. He didn’t need to resolve any tension because there was none, just a truthful statement. They were great dads. Mickey pulled his body up a little more so that he was upright completely, his hand rubbing up and down Ian’s leg.
“You know, she’s totally your kid” Ian tilted his head to look up at Mickey. Their eyes met softly, Ian could tell he was trying his hardest not to blush.
He gave an untrusting eyebrow raise despite his pleased expression. “Uh-huh, why’s that?”
“Because she’s kind and loving” Ian smiled, there was a slight nervousness there as they made eye contact again. Like two young kids admitting they had a crush on one another, there was some giddy love too pure to be contained. Mickey took that compliment to heart, despite the fact he tried to seem nonchalant on the outside, which he was failing miserably at. “And because she’s not even two and already cursing people out” A teasing smile fell upon Ian’s lips. Once they registered in Mickey’s mind he copied the same expression.
“That’s my girl!” he proudly accepted. “Once she learns how to walk imma teach her how to pickpocket and fight, not sure which one first”
Ian gave an eye roll of pure affection because his husband was ridiculous. “We’re doing good with her” Ian reminded again.
Mickey extended a hand forward, beckoning Ian to take it. He sat up, only to get immediately attacked by a pair of lips.“Ya know” Mickey was able to get out between their hungry exchanges. “You being a good dad is really hot”
Ian hummed in agreement, his forehead rested against Mickey’s jaw. “Yeah? Well every time you tuck Ruby in and read something to her… does something to me”. He looked up, lust darken eyes met Mickey’s “I’m half hard just thinking about it”
Mickey pulled away, his shirt immediately being ripped off, Ian followed his movement. “Wanna fuck?”