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“Well. I suppose I’ve made a right mess of things, haven’t I?”
The crew blinked back at him, and Stede found himself doing a quick headcount when the expected retort didn’t come. When it came up short, he blinked and recounted, then counted once more to be sure.
“Hold on,” he said, “Where are Lucius and Frenchie?”
***
He should’ve known, really, that things wouldn’t be simple. He’d essentially abandoned Ed, no matter how good he’d thought his reasons were for it at the time, and coming back with his newfound peace of mind didn’t change that fact.
And to be honest, he didn’t actually regret going, even if he should’ve handled the situation differently. He wasn’t sure he’d ever have been able to get over his guilt if he hadn’t, and being able to resolve things with Mary had helped his mental state tremendously.
Still, he found himself replaying the conjured image of Ed looking as the crewmates had described him over and over again.
***
“So, do you have a plan?” Black Pete asked, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Or are we all just going to die on this island while you sit sadly on the beach?”
“I’d had a plan,” Stede replied. “But I suspect it’s worthless now. If Ed’s been acting as you say, I doubt he wants to see me right now.”
“Well, that doesn’t exactly help me get back to Lucius, so... Come up with a new one.”
“He tried to kill me!”
“Yeah, I know, you’ve mentioned.”
“Just… Ruthlessly threw me overboard!”
Jim sighed, then glanced sideways to double-check check the corridor was still clear before tugging Lucius in with a glare.
“Look,” they hissed, expression dark. “It doesn’t matter that Blackbeard threw you overboard. We already knew he wasn’t coping well with everything, of course he was going to eventually snap. All that matters is what we’re going to do about it.”
“And… What’s that?” Lucius asked, voice tentative.
Jim smirked.
“I’m going to kill Izzy Hands.”
The first issue they faced was how to get everyone off the island without risking starvation. They weren’t too far from land, all things considered, but it was far enough to be slightly impractical. And while Stede had obviously brought supplies and a fishing rod with him, he was worried that there wouldn’t be enough food for everyone.
“Does anyone have any suggestions?” He asked, hopefully, before brightening when Roach and Buttons both raised their hands. “Well, I’ll be glad to hear them.”
“I’ve said it before, Cap’n. We need to start eatin’ each other.”
Stede sighed, especially when Roach nodded his agreement.
“Are there any other suggestions?” He asked. “Any non-cannibalism related ones, ideally?”
There was silence for a moment, then Oluwande raised a hand.
“If we’re careful about rationing it out, and you bring back more supplies when you come back to ferry more crew members to land, I think we can make it work. I’m happy to stay here and make sure no one eats anyone else.”
Stede grinned.
“Now that is a plan I am in favour of.”
***
About a week later, when everyone was safely back on a non-deserted island, their next problem arose.
“I guess I can’t exactly commission another ship,” Stede realised. “Not unless we want this to take months, and I don’t feel like that will help when we confront Ed.”
“We’re pirates, Captain,” Black Pete replied, rolling his eyes. “You don’t have to commission a ship. We can just steal one.”
“I suppose that’s true,” he replied, slightly troubled. “It’s just… We don’t have the greatest history of being pirates without Blackbeard’s assistance.”
“We technically have a 100% success rate,” Pete pointed out, but he didn’t argue the point any further.
“I’ll figure something out,” Stede sighed. “And I’ll book our room for an extra night. Things should seem simpler in the morning.”
Killing Izzy would be a lot easier if they could convince Fang or Ivan to leave them alone for longer than the time it took to take a piss, admittedly.
They’d enlist Lucius to help more, but they didn’t trust him to be as ruthlessly efficient as needed to complete the task. And they were never left alone with Frenchie, so that he was also out of the question.
They’d figure it out, though. Not only was Izzy just generally aggravating to be around, but they were also fairly sure he was the main reason Blackbeard’s breakdown had turned so… aggressive.
First, they just had to figure out how to disappear.
The next day, Stede wandered down to the port with Oluwande, having told the others that they could take the morning to do whatever they wanted, as long as they were at the port by midday.
As they wandered, Stede felt himself grow more and more concerned. He’d hoped that he’d have thought of some way to steal a ship with minimal bloodshed overnight, but nothing had come to him. From the look on Oluwande’s face, he was equally lost.
“Stede? Is that you?” A familiar voice called, and he froze for a moment before turning with a forced smile.
“Bartholomew? Fancy running into you here!”
“It is you! And come on, Stede, you know you can call me Barty.”
He inclined his head in acknowledgment, but didn’t have a chance to respond before Barty continued talking.
“And I should be saying that to you! Last I’d heard, you’d just had your second kid!”
“Ah, yes, well. I decided to try out life at sea for a bit,” Stede explained. “Am I to assume you’ve done the same?”
“Yeah, I’ve been working on ships for the past few years. Just managed to save up and buy my own, actually,” he said, gesturing back to it. “I’m trying to find a crew for it now. I don’t suppose you’re interested?”
Stede blinked, a plan rapidly forming in his mind.
“I might be,” he hedged, expression innocent. “Would you perhaps be willing to give me a tour of it before I decide? I can be very particular, as you know.”
Barty hesitated, glancing between the town at the edge of the port and the ship he’d gestured to.
“I was planning on soliciting around town today for workers,” he explained. “But… I trust you. I have two of these, so just tour the ship with your friend on your own.”
Barty tossed a set of keys Stede’s way, and he and Oluwande grinned.
***
About an hour later, the entire crew was sitting on the deck of the newly stolen Liberty.
“Right now, we’re mostly hoping that Blackbeard and his crew will still be sticking to the course that was charted out before they left you guys on the island. If all goes well, we’ll be able to intersect that course fairly quickly. Now, I don’t know what state he’s going to be in when we meet him, but I’m hoping he’ll be open to negotiation. In the worst-case scenario, however, we just need to remember that three of his crewmembers are likely more loyal to us than they are to him. Are there any questions?”
Wee John raised a hand.
“How did you get access to this ship?”
It took slightly longer than they’d hoped, but eventually a night came where Fang fell asleep instead of watching them. They’d been tied up, of course, as they had been most nights just in case, but that wasn’t much trouble for them. After slipping their ropes, they crept over to the hidden door Lucius had been using to communicate with them and rapped lightly.
“You carrying the statue I told you to?” They whispered, and Lucius nodded before handing it across.
“Are you going to kill him?”
“No, knocking him unconscious will do. I just need him out so I can get my knife back.”
Lucius looked relieved, and Jim grinned.
“Besides, killing him would make too much noise and put everyone on high alert. Once I release the dinghy I plan to, they’ll just think I’ve run off.”
***
Next, they had to coordinate the kill. The layout of the ship combined with Blackbeard’s general lack of crew made this easier than it should have been, admittedly, but it would have to be timed perfectly if they wanted to avoid detection.
They patiently waited in position, Lucius and Frenchie both slipping them news of where Ivan, Fang, and Blackbeard were at any given moment. A few hours passed, and they knew they had the perfect opportunity when they saw Izzy hesitate in the doorway for a couple of moments.
Just before they let their knife fly, the distinctive sound of a cannonball crashing into the waves beside the ship sounded, and Izzy rushed out onto the deck above as their knife embedded itself into the wood where he’d been standing.
“Shit!”
“That was a warning shot!” Stede called out, and Black Pete frowned.
“Was it?” He asked, and Oluwande made a so-so motion with his hand.
“I’ve never fired this particular canon before, so I wasn’t really thinking about where it would land. Just kinda… lit it and aimed it in their general direction.”
“I guess that counts,” he agreed, and Stede made a shushing noise at the two of them.
“I’m trying to hear what they’re saying,” he explained, but it was obvious that Blackbeard and Izzy had already finished discussing how to handle the situation.
They all waited for a moment, but neither of them seemed inclined to call back.
“Are you going to let us board so we can figure this out face to face?” Stede shouted, and Blackbeard looked frustrated as Izzy resumed talking in his ear.
“I’ll let you board,” he eventually responded. “But don’t expect a peaceful welcome.”
“We can’t win against Blackbeard,” Pete hissed, and Stede hummed cryptically.
“We hopefully won’t have to.”
***
As promised, everyone had their swords drawn as they boarded.
“What is your business here?” Blackbeard asked, and Stede smiled lightly.
“I noticed you had a few of my things still,” he said, gesturing around the ship. “I wanted to talk to you, and figured I’d negotiate for some of their returns while I did.”
“The obvious ploy,” Ed muttered, before lifting his sword and pointing it at Stede. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not a big fan of negotiating with words.”
Stede sighed, lifting his sword in return.
“I was worried that might be the case.”
With that, the entire ship sprang into action.
***
The truth of the matter was that Stede didn’t expect to win this battle.
He’d improved immensely at sword fighting since he first started, of course, but Ed still had years of experience that he didn’t. Also, he’d had the honour of training Stede, meaning he knew literally every trick Stede could try and pull.
Instead, Stede was just relying on Ed’s general distaste for killing (and hopefully still present feelings towards him) to survive long enough to get through to him.
Their swords clashed repeatedly, and he cocked his head to one side.
“The black makeup is an interesting choice,” he said, slightly curious. “Did you end up missing the beard, then? It has… quite the effect, but it’s not exactly the same.”
Blackbeard snorted.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” he said, forcing Stede to move further back. “And passive aggression won’t work this time.”
“I was genuinely just wondering,” he replied. “No ulterior motives, I swear.”
He still didn’t reply, and Stede knew better than to bother asking again.
Around the ship, the rest of the crew members were fighting. Some of them were more enthusiastic about it than others, but that was to be expected. None of them got anywhere close to either Stede or Blackbeard, though, obviously knowing that the two of them needed to fight this battle one-on-one.
Without him realising, Blackbeard had backed him up into the mast. The shock of his back hitting the wood loosened his grip on his sword, and that moment of weakness allowed for it to be knocked out of his hand. Before he had a chance to move, Blackbeard pointed his sword at him, and the noise around them slowed then stopped as everyone noticed.
“So then,” Stede said, still relatively unconcerned. “It’s come down to this.”
“It was always going to,” Blackbeard replied, the point of his sword resting under Stede’s chin. “The sooner we both realise that, the easier this will be.”
“I’d rather hoped it wouldn’t, actually,” Stede admitted, a tight smile flashing across his face. “I’m fairly big on peaceful solutions, as you know. I’d wanted to come back so I could explain myself clearly and make things up to you, not to get into a sword fight.”
“You left,” Blackbeard roared, sword not wavering from Stede’s neck. “You left, so I had to move on. What did you expect me to do, sit around moping until you decided you did want to join me after all?"
“I know,” Stede replied, unafraid even as he stared down death. “And I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad at me, and if you still want to kill me, I won’t fight you. All I ask for is the chance to at least explain first.”
The sword didn’t move, but Blackbeard thought for a moment before sighing.
“You get five minutes, and that’s it.”
Beside them, Izzy began to protest.
“Just stab him, you have him cornered!”
“Oh shut up, Izzy,” Stede snapped, before the distinctive thunk of Jim’s knife meeting its target was heard. He glanced sideways, grimacing when he saw the knife pinning Izzy’s hand to a wooden post.
Blackbeard raised an eyebrow when their eyes met again, obviously counting down mentally, and Stede sighed.
“First of all, I’m sorry. I know I already said it, but it’s true. I really did like the idea of running off with you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t at least talk to you before leaving. That is my biggest regret in this whole mess.”
He didn’t look convinced, but Stede wasn’t finished.
“The night we were supposed to run, Chauncy Badminton came and woke me up. He’d been drinking, and he held a gun to my head and forced me to follow him. He wasn’t happy that I was getting away with killing Nigel, as you know, and he decided he wanted to exact his revenge privately. As he tried to kill me, he told me that I ruin everything I touch— Including his brother, my family, and, well. You.”
Stede’s smile was tight, and Ed’s eyes softened slightly, though his sword still didn’t waver.
“Before he could shoot me, he tripped, managing to kill himself in the process. It felt like confirmation of everything I’d already been telling myself, if I’m being honest. So I ran back to Barbados.”
“That doesn’t explain how or why you’re back at sea, you realise,” Ed replied, and Stede smiled.
“I was getting to that, you realise,” he replied in turn. “Basically, I arrived and soon found all my worries were unfounded. Mary had been living as a widow, and had been building a good life for herself. She was even seeing someone new. I mucked things up quite a bit for her as I tried to deal with my own issues, so she tried to kill me. We ended up having a heart to heart about everything, and she told me she hoped I could find someone to love.”
Ed grimaced at that, but Stede didn’t drop his gaze.
“I told her I already had.”
“I’d say I hope you have a long and happy life with them, but I’m still not convinced I won’t stab you,” Ed grumbled, expression dark, and Stede’s eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“Long and happy life with them? Ed, I was talking about you.”
At that, Ed’s sword did drop.
“…Me?” He asked, obviously shocked, and Stede laughed in disbelief.
“Who else would I have been talking about?”
“I don’t know what your life is like in Barbados! Maybe you’d met someone there!”
“Even if I had,” Stede replied, stepping forwards with an arm outstretched. “They could never have compared to you.”
He stayed like that for a moment, hand not quite touching Ed’s shoulder. Ed’s eyes flickered over him, obviously deciding something, then Stede found himself being roughly pushed back into the pole.
“Fuck you,” Ed hissed, eyes dark, and he felt his heart sink even as Ed pressed closer. “I love you too.”
With that, their lips crashed between them.
***
Unlike their first kiss, which had felt achingly tender, this one was harsh. Almost bruising. And Stede loved every second of it.
He threaded a hand into Ed’s hair, the other one clutching his waist. Ed’s hands had been fisted in his shirt at first, a consequence of the whole pole-shoving manoeuvre, but they moved to his lower back as Ed seemed determined to pull them as close together as humanly possibly. He tugged Ed’s hair a little, then Ed bit his lip, just hard enough to cause a flash of pain.
“I’m still pissed,” he said, pulling away slightly. “You handled everything in pretty much the worst way possible. I waited for you on that dock all night. I understand why you went to Barbados, but you should’ve at least told me first.”
Stede sighed.
“I know, Ed. I promise you, I won’t do anything like that ever again.”
“Good. No stupid decisions without me from now on, okay?”
He didn’t wait for an answer before connecting their lips once more.
***
They probably would’ve stayed like that for the rest of the day, if Oluwande hadn’t tentatively cleared his throat behind them.
“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt,” he started. “It’s just… What did you want to be done about Izzy? Jim’s looking… Murderous.”
Ed sighed.
“Is it bad if I say that I don’t care?” He asked. “Because I really feel like I should care, but I don’t.”
“He is your first mate,” Stede pointed out, but he didn’t move his hands.
“He was,” Ed replied. “He won’t be from now on, though. He’s the main reason I’ve been acting how I have. On my own I was just… moping.”
Stede sighed, moving his hand down to cradle Ed’s face.
“I’m sorry about that, too. I know you’ve been working with him for years.”
“Not your fault,” he insisted, but he still accepted the soft kiss Stede offered him.
“I guess we should decide together? As good co-captains would?”
“And there’s probably a lot more we have to talk about. I may have made some… rash decisions while you were gone. Like abandoning most of your crew on a deserted island.”
“Oh yes, I’d been meaning to ask!” Stede exclaimed. “Where’s Lucius? I was surprised when I learnt he wasn’t left with everyone else.”
Ed sucked in a breath, ashamed.
“I— I killed him,” he admitted, expression broken, and Stede felt his eyes widen.
Before he could say anything, though, Lucius’ head popped out from a hole in the wall.
“Hi, yes. Not dead, actually.”
“But… I threw you overboard!”
“Well, either I’m immortal, a ghost, or I climbed back on board and have been hiding out in the frankly ridiculous amount of secret passageways Captain included in this boat,” he said, before smiling sardonically. “I’ll give you three guesses at which is right.”
“See,” Stede said, brushing a thumb along Ed’s cheek. “Everything’s fine.”
“I did still try to kill him,” Ed pointed out, frowning, but Stede was unconcerned.
“You tried to kill me at one point,” he pointed out. “It’s kind of a part of being a pirate, I’ve heard. Anyway, I think we can lay the blame for this whole incident fairly squarely on Izzy’s shoulders.”
“All in favour of tying him up and throwing him overboard?” Black Pete asked, to a chorus of general assent.
Jim, however, looked slightly disappointed.
“Can I at least slit his throat first?” They asked, nonchalantly flicking their knife. “I had a plan to do it earlier, but you guys arriving got in the way.”
Stede raised a questioning eyebrow at Ed, who sighed.
“We probably should leave him alive,” he replied. “He was just trying to do what he thought was best for me.”
The crew all protested loudly, and Stede dropped his hand to link it with Ed’s.
“How about we go down into the cabin to finish figuring everything out while the crew deals with him?” He suggested, expression pointed, and Ed smirked.
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” He asked, and Stede groaned.
“You are going to be utterly shameless, aren’t you?”
Despite the protest, Stede’s voice was fond, and he smiled brightly when Ed pressed a kiss to their joined hands.
“You know it, love.”