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there is twilight on huening kai's face. ethereal, gorgeous, dazzling.
purple crosses his deep set of light brown eyes, a tint of magic spirals in them, an awakening star. and orange travels south, down to the veins on his neck, and yeonjun thinks it is pretty, how with every inhale of smoke, one artery contracts, and he wants to touch it. he wants to feel the tingle, the prick of electricity flowing with them. how would that be? he is curious.
but yeonjun loves this the most- red settles on huening kai's lips, a permanent companion. it is cherry in the morning, strawberries when the sun is up north, and watermelon as it glides to the elusive horizon. yeonjun wants to taste them now, the usual summer on huening kai's lips, a gentle smile there, seemingly reserved for a certain choi yeonjun. fresh, juicy and lovely, it might be. huening kai has always tasted a tad sweeter with a touch of spice. just the way yeonjun likes it.
and his heart reaps up the falling-behind speed, no longer ticking in slow motion. to the point, it accelerates, and he hears the screeching of worn-out tires on the tarred road. ebony imprints are circular across the grainy track, another memory worth keeping in his mind. yeonjun realises- only when he is with huening kai, the world bleeds a little paler, all colours are pastel and not bold, vibrant as he is used to seeing. subdued. tranquil.
life with huening kai is similar to the runaway yeonjun has walked thousands of times. there are colours, excitement, familiarity, and a sense of home. yeonjun finds refuge in the brand clothes he wears, the cameras vigorously pointing their lenses at him, demanding his attention, but he knows when to flash a smile and when to strike a pose that took years to perfect. it is his forte, expertise, and passion. he enjoys the thrill of working under the spotlight, the tension and pressure it carries, the good and bad of it all.
but yeonjun treasures moments like these the most- with huening kai.
kuala lumpur bustles with clamorous energy. cars are racing to the finish line, desperate to reach their homes before more vehicles flood the busy streets on a hectic friday. yeonjun turns his attention to the dimming sky, feeling slightly vulnerable with the notion of huening kai in mind. it is crazy; when he is off work, all he can ever think about is the younger. how with each touch on his skin, the tiredness fades away. and it liquefies into a reservoir of a distant afterthought, one that he can recall only when it is dawn. and yeonjun wants to be here more than anywhere else, all places that huening kai is, he wants to be there.
it is a coincidence this time. huening kai had a meeting with one of the composers here, and yeonjun happens to be the representative of a brand for this country's most prestigious fashion week. or maybe it is fate- some forces up there want them to meet here, perhaps. yeonjun does not mind, though. he is elated, to say the least, to meet the younger again. it has been six months since their last encounter, and the smell of freshly made baguette and the sound of dripping coffee are a constant reminder in yeonjun's head. it plays and plays like a broken record, but he never presses stop. yeonjun wants to remember everything- he wants to remember huening kai.
the mist circles their private penthouse in twirls of stupor, and yeonjun finally succumbs to the blatant itch inside of him. he meets eyes with huening kai, and his heart momentarily stops. he inhales the last drag of the cigarette and blows, and their world turns grey for a moment. gradually, yeonjun sees the sunset on huening kai again, a beautiful pink. oh.
"hyung?"
"hm?"
huening kai smiles. almost a smirk, but his eyes are kind, his lips are an upturn, and his fingers are fumbling on the metal railing. is he nervous? yeonjun never knows this. usually, it is the other way around.
"you've been staring at me. am i too handsome?"
code red!
code red!
maybe yeonjun has not been subtle with his advances after all.
but yeonjun is fire, and huening kai is water. and when fire meets water, of course, he will lose. "yeah, i've been staring at you. and yeah, you're handsome. so?"
yeonjun is sassy in nature, but with huening kai, he wants to be sassier, bolder, and sexier, in a way that the younger will only see him and only him. but it is wishful thinking- yeonjun knows- whatever they have is temporary, a spark that lasts only for a few days before they part ways again.
no one has ever said anything. are we boyfriends? or lovers? not really. i love you has never escaped their lips before. but yeonjun often finds himself almost unleashing those words when they are under the sheets in a foreign country. a kiss on his throat and a chorus of praises soak into his skin as huening kai cradles him, enters him, and wrecks havoc in his entire system. it almost tumbles now- as the sky darkens, a group of stars are just above huening kai's head. yeonjun wants to say it, but how will he respond? he is not ready to face the ugly consequences. everything they have is too precious to let go, sacrifice, to put them on this thin line between friendship and something more. yeonjun is a risk-taker, but this- no.
what are they? friends with benefits? fuck buddies? friends? acquaintances? what are they?
warmth travels along his spine as huening kai places his hands on top of his. his fingers are cold, but the younger is immune to coldness, and now yeonjun's heartaches because this is unfamiliar to him, the frostbites on his knuckles. he looks up and huening kai is staring at him with those gentle eyes full of everything but love. or maybe?
"are you okay, hyung? you don't look so good."
and yeonjun does not know what to say.
three years. they have been playing this game, or anything huening kai wants to call it, for three years. but what is it that yeonjun wants? what is it that huening kai wants?
yeonjun knows the answer. but he is too afraid to say it aloud.
he laces their fingers together, a brave attempt. huening kai does not say anything, and possibly, yeonjun does not want the younger to have anything to say. with a light tug, yeonjun pulls huening kai close. their forehead meets in the middle, their bare toes clashes, the bumps of their knees collide, and it is all yeonjun in all of huening kai. and yeonjun leans forward. the tobacco lingers in the air around him, not unpleasant, rather inviting. but there is tangerine from his skin and ah- yes- watermelons. and yeonjun is getting dizzy, and all he has to do right now-
a peck, testing the waters. huening kai looks exceptionally pretty up close; pretty eyes, pretty nose, pretty eyelashes, pretty moles. pretty pretty pretty. yeonjun can never get enough of him. he can never discard the surge of hotness and comfort in his body whenever he is near huening kai.
he kisses him again. softly. gently. his lips are asking huening kai to dance, and the younger gladly accepts. a hand encircles around his waist, and another is on his chest, awfully close to his palpating heart. he is crouching a little, allowing easy access for yeonjun to devour him senseless. and his whole body soars lofty to the sky, the sensation so sublime that yeonjun smiles into the kiss, so dangerously jubilant with everything they share right now. lips on lips, the push and pull, the small bites and kitten licks, the stop for air and perilously, huening kai pulls him closer, and their kiss deepens, their mouth a perfect slot against each other. and yeonjun sees the stars in the sky even with his eyes closed because they are now within him.
yeonjun wants to say so much, but huening kai annihilates his train of thoughts with another kiss. and another. and another. by the time they stop, the world slows down, and the cars are no longer honking mercilessly. it is serene and quiet, but yeonjun hears the staccato of his heart and the batted breath from his lips. blaring and out in the open. and of course, huening kai hears it too.
and it is a mistake to look into the younger's eyes because he is falling again. so helplessly so that it is embarrassing. yeonjun's whole body lurches forward still, safe in the walls of huening kai, and the night breeze is colder as thin drips of rain begin to fall.
"hyung? are you sick? do you want me to call the doctor?"
"no, no," he insists. yeonjun does not need anything else. he only wants huening kai.
and he braces for the worst. "huening-ah," he calls.
"hm?"
"i think i like you," and it is a fire in his throat now, a blazing calamity that yeonjun wants to put away as soon it starts. but it is too late to back away.
a giggle. and as much yeonjun loves hearing the charming laughter of huening kai, this one cuts his heart into pieces.
he pulls away. huening kai's hands hang mid-air, the space between them is getting cold in a second. the younger looks perplexed, confused, the amusement on his lips dies down as soon yeonjun takes two steps back, creating distance.
"hyung?"
"didn't you hear me?" the sudden set of tears awaiting to fall surprises yeonjun to the core. but he breathes in and blinks them away. he does not want the younger to see the pain scalding the insides of his soul.
"i said i like you."
huening kai nods. "i did."
"then? are you laughing at me?"
"huh? when did i laugh at you?"
"just now!" he stomps his feet. it is spontaneous, a response to when he feels cornered and frustrated. huening kai frustrates him. always.
"you were fucking giggling!"
huening kai marches forward. his advances are steady and unrelenting. yeonjun chickens out, feeling stupidly vulnerable under the latter's kind eyes and sweet, sweet smile.
warm palm on his left cheek. hot.
"hyung, i wasn't laughing at you."
liar-
"you weren't?"
huening kai bemuses. his eyes are now two pairs of little crescents. fucking adorable, his heart stammers amid the commotion in his head.
"why would i?"
"you laughed right after i confessed! it's not my fault that i misunderstood," yeonjun is pouting, yes. maybe the devil in him wants huening kai to kiss it away.
the younger cocks his head sideways, eyeing yeonjun from head to toe. yeonjun recognises that look- endearment. he flushes.
the grin that paints huening kai's face in silver streaks and pale yellow makes his heart leap, the temperature rises, and the splatter of rain intensifies. and yeonjun falls into a hex as huening kai traces his existence with his eyes. love- oh?
"do you want to know why?"
he is too stunned to reply. yeonjun nods, the only thing he is capable of at the moment.
huening kai's eyes are delicate, like spring and summer and autumn and winter. yeonjun remembers the sand in busan, the blue sea in hawaii, and the coconut trees in maldives. it brings forth memories of their encounter and kindles a new one. in this foreign city, in the expanse of huening kai, yeonjun recalls the feeling in his chest, the flowers in his ribcage, the simmer in his stomach, the butterflies in his throat, the heaviness in his heart- the stagnant i love you.
it only happens in the movies, those grandiose confessions, the waterfall of rose petals, the orchestra playing chopin's nocturne, and everything sickeningly romantic. because when huening kai takes his hands, palm to palm, yeonjun can only hear the pit and pat of the rain, can only see the glimmer in those brown eyes, and the sunflower looping around his lips. nothing extraordinary, just huening kai- and maybe that makes everything even more special. oh, god, yeonjun is such a hopeless romantic.
he expects something else, anything but a knock on his head. yeonjun scowls. huening kai laughs his quiet laugh this time, not the usual splurge of a groundbreaking chuckle.
"why are you so oblivious, hyung?"
"you, should stop beating around the bush."
the younger clicks his tongue. he cards his fingers through his overgrown hair, of defeat and conviction. and it puzzles yeonjun greatly. what on earth is this guy doing? brunette strands are like silk, dancing graciously on the sides of his face, and yeonjun desires to do that for him. frantic to relish velvet on his fingers, a whiff of lavender loiters on his fingers. a wild look ripples in his eyes. yeonjun has never seen that before, but it is intriguing, intensely seductive, lusciously inviting. he wants all of him- all of huening kai.
"you're driving me crazy."
crossing his arm, yeonjun mocks a reply. "so do you! you're a fucking monster that knows nothing but causing me trouble-"
huening kai laughs. "and that's why i like you."
yeonjun wonders if this is true. yes, huening kai is a prankster, but the way he stares right into yeonjun's soul tells him yes, he is not lying.
"huening. stop fooling around-"
"i'm not-"
"you're clearly fucking with me right now-"
"i wish i am, but we need to sort this out-"
"ning-"
"hyung." huening kai squeezes his shoulders. and he awakens from the cluttered daze.
and his brown eyes are speaking nothing but the truth. "i like you. i love you. please believe me?"
yeonjun wants to scream.
"do you mean it? you were not just saying that out of spite? or anything?"
the younger exhales a heavy breath. and in seconds, yeonjun is already safe in huening kai's embrace. spring in between his arms, and autumn as he catches the scent of ripening mandarins. the feeling is so supreme that yeonjun's breath hitches with every ardent caress on his back.
"i don't think i would stay with you if it isn't love, hyung."
yeonjun wants to cry.
baffled, he inquiries, "but why after three years...?"
huening kai laughs. he feels the curl of his lips on the crown of his head, like daisies blossoming on the flower pot back in seoul. home.
"because i can't wait for another three to tell you this."
yeonjun scoffs. "idiot," he says, feigning anger, but his voice is a pitch higher, and of course, huening kai is smart enough to know it is a lie.
but he still needs to gaze into those eyes to be sure if this is not a part of his endless daydreaming. yeonjun looks up, and always, huening kai is ready to meet him halfway.
"do you mean it, huening? do you?"
and it is hot, hot summer again when huening kai smiles. "i do. i love you. i'm sorry it took me so long to say this."
oh, his gentle, gentle huening kai. "i should've told you sooner. but i was afraid if it's one-sided."
huening kai pinches the skin on his waist. "hyung, you can't be serious?"
flustered, yeonjun jumps away from huening kai's embrace. "well," he inhales a sharp breath, trying to compose himself, "you're one heck of a catch! who knows what you do when we aren't together."
no. yeonjun is not jealous. not at all.
huening kai bites his lips. "you're irresistible, hyung. fuck," he growls. and yeonjun's whole body jolts in a delightful surprise. huening kai is religiously driving him to the edge.
"i met so many people, but my heart wants only you."
"that's cheesy as fuck!"
"i thought you liked it. me being flirty, honest."
there is that blaze in his eyes again, dormant, welcoming, like the first sip of coffee in the morning, the first slurp of the ramen broth for late-night supper. yeonjun's insides are utterly warm. he likes this.
licking his lips, yeonjun answers, "i didn't say i don't..."
"then believe it. believe me. i've liked you for a long time. way before we started this one-night-stand-but-not-so-one-night-stand kind of relationship."
huening kai never lies. and yeonjun has always been a believer.
with a relieved smile, yeonjun lunges into huening kai's arms again. "i love you. i've been dying to say that. i love you."
the younger curses under his breath. yeonjun finds him insanely tempting. "you're killing me, hyung."
his fingers are wild, and the desire in him is rowdy. he traces the excitement along huening kai's thighs, squeezes the suppleness of his ass cheeks, and the broadness of his shoulders with butterfly kisses. huening kai eyes him like a predator, but with a stare that pulverises his sanity into a cinder; love.
yeonjun licks the shell of huening kai's ears and blows a breath. huening kai trembles. yeonjun wins.
"don't die yet. i still need you."
huening kai flashes his most gorgeous smile. yeonjun is blinded. and so foolishly in love.
"your wish is my command."
and huening kai takes him to the bed. the colours of sundown are now on his hips, thighs, collarbone, neck, everywhere. there is red on his skin, pink in his heart and yellow in his mind. everything and anything- yeonjun knows only huening kai.
yeonjun sees the emerald sea and the eiffel tower and the empire state building and namsan tower and tall skyscrapers and-
"ning-ah," yeonjun calls, breathless.
huening kai cuddles closer. their sweaty bodies plastered together, but yeonjun is too spent to push the younger away. he needs this, though, to be honest.
"hm?"
he draws a heart on huening kai's bicep. "where should we meet next?"
huening kai kisses him on the lips. "you decide."
and yeonjun smiles. "anywhere, as long as it's with you."