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Lark hated himself.
He had hated himself since he was a child. He hated how easily he got angry. He hated how easily he got distracted. He hated how easily he had doomed the world, and how no matter what he did he could not rectify his mistake.
Most of all though, he hated that he wasn't Sparrow. He had been, once, or close enough: they were inseparable as kids, and nearly indistinguishable. But then somehow Sparrow grew up without him, became kind and smart and patient and beloved by all, while Lark stayed... Lark. He stayed Lark-and-Sparrow, but Sparrow didn't.
No, actually. The jealousy started earlier, while the two of them were still a unit. It started when Sparrow drew the Doodler. Lark helped, of course. He grew bored with his own mascot submission drawing and abandoned it to help his brother. His comments were less suggestions and more reminders: they both somehow knew, deep down, what the Doodler looked like. It was only a matter of getting the details right on paper. But Sparrow was the one who had seen the Doodler first, the one who had taken the initiative to show the Doodler to the world. It was Sparrow's name, not Lark's, that was called when Coach Darnell announced that they would henceforth be the Doodlers.
Perhaps that was why Lark had stayed admant about unleashing the Doodler, even after Sparrow realized it was wrong. Lark wanted a claim on it, like Sparrow. He wanted them to be the Lord of Chaos, one being in two bodies, the prophesied harbinger of the Doodler.
But no, Lark and Sparrow were two different people, and Lark fucking hated himself for it. Maybe, if he were more like Sparrow, the Doodler wouldn't be here right now. Maybe Lark would still have a loving father and mother, or at least happy memories of them that weren't ruined by his own rage and stupidity.
Maybe Lark would be the one engaged to Rebecca.
Oh, Lark didn't love Rebecca. At least, not that way. But if he were engaged to Rebecca, maybe he could convince her not to have children, and this whole twisted cycle would be stopped for good.
Sparrow wanted kids. He still believed in the power of Daddy Magic, believed that perhaps if he loved his kid enough they could become the hero that would banish the Doodler once and for all. He hadn't seen– or perhaps had simply ignored– the horrors that their father and his friends went through in establishing D.A.D.D.I.E.S. Lark knew he and his old friends would probably have to go through similar hardships soon enough, but he didn't wish that fate upon the next generation.
But Sparrow wanted kids, and he was the one engaged to Rebecca. So now Lark had to do something awful, for the sake of a plan he wasn't even sure would work.
He really, really fucking hated himself.
See, Lark had a theory. Daddy Magic was based on the love and connection between parent and child. But if neither the parent nor the child were confident in the connection, the child might never develop Daddy Magic of their own. Which meant that Lark would have to make Sparrow doubt whether he was truly the father of Rebecca's kid, and then someday make the kid doubt whether Sparrow was truly their father was well.
Lark knew that Rebecca had been interested in him first. She had moved on when it was clear he didn't reciprocate her feelings, and he had no doubt that she really did love Sparrow, but he was sure that he could seduce her if he tried. Then it was just a matter of making sure Sparrow found out.
Despite all of his jealousy, Lark loved Sparrow. He hated himself, but he loved his brother more than anything in the world. He would do this terrible, terrible thing because he loved his brother. He would do it because he knew that even if Sparrow hated him after this, he would be better off for it. They would all be better off.
Rebecca was in the other room now, lounging on their couch. His brother's fiancee. Sparrow was out on business, but Lark knew he would be on his way home soon enough. God, Lark hated himself. He hated the Doodler, he hated Daddy Magic, he hated everyone and everything that had led to this fucking awful moment.
But he loved his brother. He loved him too much to damn him to the horrible fate of becoming a daddy.
Lark took a deep breath, put on his most charming smile, and joined Rebecca on the couch.