Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

PART ONE

Marinette stared into space as she drew spirals in her notebook. Her mind had drifted away from the history lesson she was supposed to be focusing on, ending up in that nowhere place where there’s no space or time, only feeling and thought.

Did that really happen? Am I really feeling what I think I’m feeling?

‘Marinette,’ a voice whispered.

She jumped, looking up, meeting Alya’s amber eyes, warm with concern.

You okay? Alya mouthed.

What a question. Possible answers flitted through her mind.

I just lost all the miraculous I was tasked with keeping safe – and you were busy filming the moment for your blog instead of calling me.

No – she wasn’t ready to broach that one, yet.

I let down everyone in Paris, and now I’m expected to carry on with school like nothing happened, because no one knows I’m Ladybug except you.

No – Alya wasn’t the one she wanted to talk to about that.

I think I might be in love with Cat Noir.

No. No, no and no.

She gave her widest smile, pushing her cheeks up into her eyes, and mouthed back, I’m fine!

Alya frowned, then turned back to the teacher, who was saying something Marinette couldn’t understand because she hadn’t been paying attention for at least the last half hour.

Marinette let out a breath and returned to her pen spirals, hypnotised by the motion of her own hand.

It was almost impossible to believe that life was just…continuing as normal. Last night, Shadow Moth had projected himself magically into the sky and announced to everyone in Paris that she, Ladybug, had let them all down. She’d lost every single miraculous to him, except hers and Cat Noir’s, and now he would use them to obliterate the city and everyone in it, unless they helped him get what he wanted.

He’d done the unthinkable – brought the people into it on a bigger scale than anyone had imagined.

And when she broke down, Cat Noir had….

She let out a heavy breath, shifting in her seat. Because now she was back in class, learning about…something…and no one was talking about the one thing they should all be talking about – what was coming.

There was definitely an atmosphere, though – the kind you felt before an earthquake, maybe. They’d felt the tremors and now were waiting for the earth to split beneath their feet, crushing everything they knew and dragging them down with the rubble.

And it’s all my fault.

‘You’re too hard on yourself,’ Cat said to her the night before.

They stood on the rooftop, side by side in the rain, looking down over Paris – the city they’d been tasked with protecting at any cost. The city she’d failed.

How could she have been so blind?

‘I let everyone down,’ she whispered through silent tears. ‘It’s all ruined because of my mistakes.’

Cat turned to her, his expression more serious than she’d ever seen on him before. ‘Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.’

‘Yeah, but they don’t carry the responsibility for the world on their shoulders.’ She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling as small as a mouse. And somewhere out there was a predator, waiting to catch her.

He pursed his lips. ‘M’lady…. I know everyone imagines I think a lot of myself…but the truth is…I don’t.’

‘…y-you don’t?’

He gave a sad shake of his head, his eyes bright with emotion. ‘Sometimes I think my real costume is the one I wear when I’m not Cat Noir. If you knew who I really am…. Well, I bet you’d be surprised.’

The way he said this…. ‘Do I…know you?’

‘We-ell….’ He ran his claws through his hair, golden under the moonlight. ‘Let’s just say you’ve probably passed me in the street a few times and formed an opinion about me. Everyone always does. And if I broke character and showed them my Cat side....’ He let his arm drop and gave a weighty shrug. ‘It doesn't matter that I help save Paris every day. I really believe a lot of them would be disappointed.’

A smile suddenly stretched across his face, like the sun after a storm. ‘But not you. You accept me as I am. You give everyone a chance. It's one of the things I admire about you. That, and the way you speak up when it's important. You always try to do the right thing…and that’s all that matters – not that you're perfect all the time. Trust me, I know all about having to be perfect all the time.’

His gaze drifted sideways, seeing something only he could see. Some private, painful thought she wished she could share – wished she could heal.

Somehow, her tears were drying, even in the rain. ‘You know…you are perfect.’

His stare returned sharply to her. He seemed to glow under the moonlight.

‘You’re my perfect partner. I wouldn’t have you any other way. I trust you with my life and I know you would never let me down. Whoever you are behind that mask…you’re right. You couldn’t possibly disappoint me.’ It was hard to say where this courage was coming from – the courage to speak these words after holding them in so long.

She studied her feet, shuffling nervously on the rooftop. ‘Sometimes I worry you would be disappointed if you knew who I really am.’

He took her by the chin, raising her head to face him. ‘Never.’ His voice was so fierce that she trembled.

‘You know….’ She swallowed, trying to find her voice. ‘…you found out who I am, once.’

He blinked – then released her. ‘…w-what?’

She gave a shaky nod. Once the words were out, she could never take them back. Was she really going to do this?

Yes.

‘I…I made some kind of mistake that led to you finding out. Bunnyx came for me and brought me to the future. You’d been akumatised into Cat Blanc and used an unlimited cataclysm to destroy all of Paris. You’d been alone a long time and you seemed so…so sad and...angry. Sometimes...I see you like that and I remember....’

The memory was taking her breath away even now. She exhaled slowly. ‘I, um. I freed you and erased my mistake so it never happened. But before that, you kept saying my real name, and you told me....’ Her voice cracked, the words drying up in her throat.

He drew in closer, gently taking both her hands in his. ‘Whatever it is…you can tell me.’

She knew this. She could tell him anything. She didn’t know why she hadn’t allowed herself to see it sooner. ‘You…you said it was our love that had caused the devastation.’

His body jerked. ‘Our…love?’

She gave a small nod, her heart throbbing with her admission – not just to him but to herself. ‘So, you see...I know it's possible...but I can never let it happen.’

He held her eyes so long, it seemed they might never be her own again. ‘Is that why you've been pushing me away all this time?’

Of course, he understood. He always did. ‘Yes. If I'm honest...you're the only person I truly trust. I trust you with my identity and my secrets. And I know I could have feelings for you. I just…I can't take that risk.’

He winced at the word risk – after all they’d just been through. ‘And now we're back to you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.’

A sob escaped her. Because he was right. Whatever she wanted in life didn’t matter. As long as she was the Guardian of the miraculous, her job would always come first.

But she wasn’t alone. He was there to support her, just as he’d always been. She couldn’t forget that ever again.

She leaned into him, allowing him to care for her. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly as the rain fell on their shoulders like the burdens of the city.

This was it – she could feel it. She was falling for him, something she’d promised herself she would never, ever do. But there was no turning back, now. For better or worse, she'd opened the door, and now there was nothing to do but walk through and see what waited for them on the other side.

She jumped when the bell rang, signalling the end of history class. In her periphery, Alya gave her another worried look that Marinette pretended not to notice.

As she gathered up her things, her eyes found Adrien in the row below. He moved as though someone had strapped weights to his back, and he had dark circles under his eyes.

Nino raised an eyebrow at him. ‘You okay, dude?’

‘Hm?’ Adrien blinked at him as if only now remembering where he was. ‘Oh, yeah, I just didn’t get a lot of sleep. Last night was….’

‘Intense, right? I don’t know how any of us slept after that. But don’t worry – Ladybug and Cat Noir have got this. You know that.’

Adrien smiled and slung his bookbag over his shoulder. ‘Yeah. I know.’

Marinette couldn’t help but smile at the confidence he injected into those three little words – even if his faith in her was perhaps misplaced.

She headed down the steps leading to the front of the classroom, tripping at the bottom and falling forward. Luckily, something stopped her before she could hit the ground – Adrien, of course.

‘Are you alright?’ He held her by the shoulders to steady her, staring down into her eyes.

She stared back, frozen – not because his gaze made her heart flutter but because it didn’t. This close, he looked even more tired, like he’d passed the night in as much distress as she had.

‘S-sorry.’ She pulled away, repositioning her bag on her shoulder. ‘You know what I’m like.’

His mouth quirked in a weary smile. ‘Yeah. I do.’

She bit her lip, not quite meeting his eyes. What should she say now? Conversation with Cat Noir had never been as hard as it was with Adrien – and since when did she compare the two of them?

‘Well, I…guess I’d better be going. Next class and all.’ She indicated the door she’d failed to reach.

‘…oh! Yeah. Of course.’ He stepped aside.

She shot him a smile and walked past, out of the classroom and down the hall.

Alya hurried to keep in step with her. ‘What was that about?’

Marinette glanced back at Adrien, who was heading a different direction – maths, she remembered. ‘What was what about?’

‘You and Adrien. Okay, you were clumsy, but there was something…I don’t know….’ Alya shrugged. ‘…different about you. It’s like you weren’t nervous around him.’

‘I wasn’t.’

‘Well, what happened?’

Marinette stopped walking and faced her friend. ‘Are you serious? After last night, you’re asking me what happened?’

Alya stopped too, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. ‘What do you mean?’

Marinette’s mouth dropped. She’d tried so hard to hold it back, but the anger had worked its way through her veins, burning in her blood. ‘Alya – I’m tasked with looking after all the miraculous, and I blow it. Shadow Moth gets all of them but two. He’s going to use them to threaten the people of Paris, the people I promised to protect. And you want to know what happened?’

She threw her arms in the air in frustration. Now that the emotions were coming out, she couldn’t seem to stop them. ‘I’ll tell you exactly what happened. I realised there are bigger things to freak out about than whether a boy likes me. And where were you when I had this revelation? Aren’t you always telling me you’re my best friend? But I had no phone call from you all night. And then I get a notification that you’ve uploaded a video of Shadow Moth’s threats to the Ladyblog. You’re profiting off my failure, Alya – what am I meant to think of that?’

Alya’s mouth was open, but no sound came out.

‘That’s what I thought.’ Marinette turned heel and walked away, head down to hide the tears slipping down her cheeks.

Never mind losing all the miraculous. She may have just lost her best friend, too.

Chapter Text

After school, Adrien took his time changing into his fencing gear, his heart heavy at the prospect of seeing Kagami again. His mind replayed their phone call yesterday – replayed the words she’d spat out at him.

‘You’re letting your cousin do things for you, now? Who’s pulling the strings of your life? Your cousin? Your father? Me, when we were together? It’s never you. You’re only good at doing what people tell you to do. Dare to cut your strings, Adrien!’

It had stung…but she was right. And in that moment, unknowingly influenced by the mark of Risk, his nerves had fired with electric determination, braced to take a stand for the first time in his life.

Then, he’d had to push away all his aspirations as Adrien Agreste and focus on the responsibilities that came with being Cat Noir – something he couldn’t explain to Kagami or…anyone, really.

He let out a breath, then left the locker room, heading for his lesson and standing at the back of the class.

‘Ah, Adrien.’ Mr D’Argencourt nodded at him. ‘Good of you to join us. You’re with Kagami.’

Of course.

Adrien forced his legs to cross the room, stopping before her. Her face registered no sign that they’d shared anything potentially life-changing last night. She bowed to him, and he bowed in return. Then they got into fighting stance.

The duel progressed as though the phone call never happened. It was so Kagami – square your shoulders and move on. Yet, something had changed. As he feinted and thrust his foil, he could feel himself standing a little taller and plunging forward with more energy than usual. Like they were equals – something he’d never felt when they were dating.

At the end of class, they bowed to each other again, then headed out of the room without a word. He went into the changing room, pulling off his uniform and putting on his day clothes, exchanging one costume for another.

He took so long that by the time he returned to the locker room, everyone else had cleared out – except Kagami. She sat on the bench in front of his locker, waiting for him like she always had when they were a couple.

Giving her a slight nod, he turned his back to her, packing up his things. But he could feel her watching him.

‘You listened to me.’ In her fashion, she sounded absolutely certain of her assessment of him.

He stuffed his phone in his bag, shut his locker door, and turned to face her. It used to make him nervous when she looked at him like this – like she was subjecting him to an inspection he was sure to fail. Now, he saw himself through her eyes – saw the person he’d become overnight.

Because he hadn’t spoken up to his father – but he’d taken a stand as Cat Noir. He hadn’t allowed Ladybug to push him out, like he normally did. He’d taken control of something, maybe for the first time in his life. And it had changed him. He could feel it as clearly as he could feel his own legs standing firm on the floor.

 He slung his bag over his shoulder and sat beside Kagami on the bench. ‘You were right – I do let people push me around.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s…hard to explain. Sometimes, I…I get so frozen. I want to speak up for myself but…I can’t.’

‘You’re making excuses again.’ Her voice was hard and firm – her mother’s. ‘You hold all the power to stand up for what you want at any time, Adrien.’

She meant well, but she wasn’t getting his point. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in himself. He literally felt unable to speak to his father. There was a physical block. But somehow, he didn’t think Kagami would understand.

Marinette understood.

He filed that thought away for later. ‘I think I found some of that power, last night. Thank you for your phone call. I needed it.’

There was so much more he wanted to say. Like that she’d opened the door for him to be himself, and he’d taken the first tentative step through. But he couldn’t explain it to her without revealing his secrets – and Kagami probably didn’t expect an involved discussion about this anyway. As much as she used to complain that he never opened up to her, she was pretty closed off herself – maybe even more than he was. He had to respect her personal boundaries.

So he smiled, and she rewarded him with a firm nod. It seemed the air had been cleared between them and there was nothing more to say.

They went out of the locker room together, out of the school, where they parted ways. Adrien waved hello to the Gorilla as he stepped into the car that waited for him. The Gorilla grunted in return, then started the engine.

At home, no one was there to greet him. It was incredible how something so expected could still hurt so much.

As he headed upstairs, for Nathalie’s room, a memory came to him, from the days when his mother was still around. Before she disappeared. Not a complete memory, just her and Nathalie laughing together at some private joke he was too young to understand – and the way the sun bounced off his mother’s hair, as it beamed in through the windows.

Disappeared.

Who was he kidding? She was dead. He’d been with her when she’d fainted and been rushed off to the hospital. He’d held her hand when the doctor announced that there was nothing to be done. There’d been a funeral – open casket, even. As he’d stared down at her lifeless body in that coffin, with the morbidly transparent glass lid his father had insisted upon… the facts had been impossible to deny.

The morticians outdid themselves. She’d looked frozen in time, not a sign of decay. But the truth was that Emilie Agreste was gone and she was never coming back.

And maybe Nathalie would go too.

With a trembling hand, he grasped her door handle – twisted it – eased it open – then hovered in the doorway, unable to move.

The room was full of old artefacts and souvenirs collected during her travels with his parents. Some of the photos were of just the two of them, a memorial to their marriage. His stomach flipped every time he looked at them. How could Nathalie bear being surrounded by it?

With a deep breath, he took one shaky step towards the bed, and then another. As far as he was aware, Nathalie hadn’t left it since the air ambulance had brought her back after her episode on the train. The other passengers must've been terrified when the train stopped mid-journey, waiting for emergency services to come. At least they’d made it out of the Chunnel.

He still hadn’t seen his father. Somehow in the chaos, it hadn’t yet been addressed that it had been his cousin Felix on that train with Nathalie, not Adrien.

Felix – who’d been Flairmidable and given Shadow Moth all the miraculous bar the two he most coveted.

Why? What was in it for Felix? What did he want?

His fists had clenched, his heart pounding with anger – fear – grief - every emotion he wasn't expected to show.

Swallowing, he took the final step needed to reach Nathalie’s bedside. His breath caught. She looked awful, her skin sallow, bones too visible, and eyes sunken in dark rings – like his mother in her final months.

Maybe he should’ve seen a therapist after her death. Maybe this would be easier to take if he’d processed everything the first time around. But his father had forbidden it then and he’d forbid it now. After all, Adrien was an Agreste.

He walked backwards, terror gripping his heart and speeding up his feet. Compassion made him close the door gently, so he didn’t wake Nathalie. Then he ran for his own room.

Safely inside, he leaned against the door, panting – then tossed his bag on the floor and flopped face down on the bed. Maybe the duvet would muffle out the image of his mother when she looked just like Nathalie did, down the hall.

Plagg darted out of his jacket. ‘Do you think your father will still make you go on that world tour?’

Adrien shrugged into the bedding. Everyone knew he was supposed to be in London, starting that ad campaign, but no one was talking about it. Last night had shaken everyone up, and people were coping by carrying on as normal. They were all in a state of suspended animation, waiting for things to start moving again.

He could hear Plagg going through his cheese cupboard – the very existence of which should've alerted any normal parents to their teenager’s eccentricity. But Adrien didn’t have normal parents.

Rolling onto his back, he let out a long sigh and stared at the too-high ceiling. The room was so big…but it was a lie. An illusion of freedom he didn’t have.

Plagg flew over to him, cheese in hand. ‘Thinking about Ladybug again?’ He popped a huge lump of brie into his mouth.

‘Running over what she said last night.’

‘About you being akumatised in some future timestream you don’t even remember?’

Adrien sighed again.

‘Are you angry at her?’

‘…for what?’

‘For keeping it from you for so long.’

‘Oh. That.’ Was he angry? ‘No. Not really.’

Plagg’s eyes widened. ‘Why not?’

Adrien turned his ring around his finger. ‘How can I be angry at someone when they’ve already apologised? Besides, it’s obvious she’s already punished herself enough over it. It doesn’t help anything for me to lay in on her too.’

Plagg gulped down the last of his cheese, his eyes narrowed, studying him. ‘You’re a really nice person, Adrien.’

‘Any nicer than anyone else?’

‘Yes. Not everyone would see these things the way you do. Can you imagine your father forgiving anyone as easily as you’ve forgiven Ladybug?’

Adrien frowned. ‘Are you saying my father is mean?’

Plagg didn’t answer that.

Maybe he was mean. It was one of those things Adrien didn’t like to think about. It wasn’t that he was oblivious. Some things were just too painful. Ignorance was a choice.

Was that why he was such a pushover?

Another thought to file away, for now.

He dragged his hands down his face. ‘I just can’t stop thinking that there was this whole other version of me, who was weak enough to be taken over by an akuma, and I don’t even remember it. Ladybug has these memories of me that I don’t share – of a person who maybe isn’t me anymore.’

‘Does that upset you?’

‘N-no. It’s just…weird. It’s like she knows things about me that I don’t know myself. She has ideas about me that may or may not be true, and I have no control over it.’

‘Are you serious? You’re a celebrity. You should be used to this.’

Plagg had a point. But those were strangers, and this…. ‘This is different. I never thought I was capable of being that upset or angry or…whatever I might've been, in that reality. I know I have my moments, but…they don’t last long. What could’ve set me off to make me lose control like that? What would make me try to destroy the whole world?’

Even just trying to conjure it in his imagination…the details wouldn’t come. It didn’t seem possible – and yet, she’d seen it.

He propped himself up on one elbow. ‘Plagg – am I…am I really capable of such things? I mean…how can you call me nice, knowing what I could do to everyone? Why is Ladybug even allowing me to keep holding the power of destruction, if that’s in me?’

Plagg settled down on the pillow beside him, holding his eyes, maybe searching them for some sign of the person Ladybug had described. Maybe he didn’t find it, because he shook his head. ‘I don’t understand it. You’re not just nice – you’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever known. And I’ve been around a long time.’

With a grunt of frustration, Adrien flopped onto his back again. ‘So what happened? What could’ve been awful enough to change me? And how could it have been related to Ladybug and me being in love? How could love make anyone destroy the world?’

‘You’d be surprised.’

Adrien opened his mouth to chastise him for his cynicism – and caught a glimpse of something flashing past his bedroom window. He sat up, his heart hammering again. ‘It’s Ladybug. What’s she doing out there when there’s no akuma?’

‘It’s probably just Guardian stuff. No need to get involved.’

‘But she might need me. I have to see if she’s okay.’

‘Now?’ Plagg balked. ‘But we just got home! Couldn’t we just –’

‘Plagg – claws out!’

Chapter Text

The boy slipped down into the Metro, his face shrouded by his hoodie and his hands stuffed deeply into the pockets of his dark jeans.

Eighteen – he was meant to be an adult now, wasn’t he? What kind of adult ran off and hid from people in fear and shame?

He used to think that when he was older, he’d have the answers. Things would magically start to make sense. But they didn’t. Growing up only brought more questions, more confusion.

At that time of day, the subway was relatively quiet. It was easy to keep away from commuters and tourists. He slumped onto an empty bench, his back hunched over, and stared blankly at the tracks. The next train wasn’t for another five minutes. He didn’t pay attention to its destination. He didn’t really care. He just wanted to get away.

It had been piling up on him a long time. All day, the same thought cycled through his head. I’m so tired of being me. He didn’t want to do anything dramatic. He just wanted a break.

His eyes watered at the unwanted memory of what had happened, and he pulled his hood down further so people wouldn’t see him cry.

Eighteen-year-old boys don’t cry. He heard the words in his friend’s voice – if you could call him a friend.

The tears slipped out.

He hated who he’d become, lately – a coward. He’d always liked to think he was the type to stand up and fight back against injustice – like Ladybug and Cat Noir, maybe. But that wasn’t who he was. He was the type to stand by and watch bad things happen, scared that if he intervened, bad things would happen to him.

How long had he been doing this? How long had he enabled Thierry to torment others, just so he didn’t torment him? How long had he been this snivelling creature he was so ashamed to be that he couldn’t even show his face in the subway?

He crumpled further, collapsing in on himself, closing his eyes. Now he was in a dark cave, away from everyone, all alone…alone with his thoughts. His dark, dark thoughts….

‘Eighteen-year-old boys don’t cry.’ This time, it was a new voice, unfamiliar, startling in its coldness. It was the voice of someone who hadn’t known love in a long time.

He pressed his hands to his ears. Don’t listen, don’t listen, don’t –

But his pain, his self-hate – it was louder – and so was the voice.

‘I am Monarch,' it whispered in his mind. 'You felt helpless today, didn’t you?’

Yes.

‘Paralysed with fear?’

Yes.

‘Well, now. I have a proposition for you….’

Chapter Text

When Marinette got home from school, she let Tikki out of her bag, then hurled it against her bedroom wall. It felt good, so she retrieved the bag and threw it again. And again. And again.

Tikki watched, her brow furrowed with concern. ‘How long do you need to do that before you feel better?’

Marinette groaned, climbed up the ladder to her bed and flopped onto her back, covering her face with her hands. ‘Oh Tikki, nothing will make me feel better except getting the miraculous back from Shadow Moth. I just don’t know how I’m meant to carry on, knowing they’re…wherever he is…with whoever he is.’

Tikki flew up to her. ‘You’ll carry on because you have no other choice but to carry on. One thing I’ve learned from being around so long is that life goes on, no matter what bad stuff happens. It might feel like there’s no point, or it’s all over now, but you’ll find a way through it, one day at a time. Someday, all of this will be in the past.’

‘Especially if Shadow Moth gets the last two miraculous and erases the whole universe.’ Marinette groaned again and removed her hands from her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Tikki. I’m really trying to be positive, but I just can’t seem to do it. Boundless optimism is Cat Noir’s deal, not mine.’

‘So maybe that’s who you should be talking to.’

She chewed on her lip, his face swimming into her mind, making her heart beat that little bit faster. ‘I don’t know, Tikki. You’re the only other one who knows the details of what happened in that alternate timestream – what could happen in this timestream. I’m frightened to get too close to him. I can’t get close to anyone.’

Tears filled her eyes as she rolled onto her side and stared at the photographs pinned on the bulletin board on her bedside wall – pictures of friends like Alya and Nino and Luka…and Adrien. Cat Noir belonged up there, but that would give away her identity.

So many wonderful people in my life, and I can’t be wholly myself with any of them.

Tikki flew around to face her again, her blue eyes watery with sympathy. ‘Marinette…listen. You’re not the only one affected by what’s happening.’

‘…I know.’

‘No, I mean….’ Tikki let out a deep breath. ‘I’ve been doing some thinking…and talking to Plagg.’

‘…you snuck out in the night?’

‘I’m sorry. It was desperate. I needed to talk to another kwami.’

‘It’s okay. I understand.’ Marinette managed a small smile. ‘So, what did Plagg say?’

‘Well…he pointed out that all that fear you’ve been carrying has caused a lot of trouble…so maybe pushing Cat Noir away wasn’t the right solution.’ Her eyes darted around the room before she clasped her little hands together, staring down at them. ‘I’ve told you before that kwamis don’t fall in love. So it’s been hard to know the right thing to do, with you and Cat Noir. But doing things Master Fu's way hasn’t worked, has it. So maybe it’s time to do them your way.’

Marinette’s eyes widened. ‘What are you saying?’

‘Just…maybe there’s more to that awful story than you know, but Bunnyx didn’t show you because she didn’t want to influence the future. Maybe everything that’s happening now…maybe it’s what was meant to happen. And that includes whatever decision you make about Cat Noir.’ She looked up slowly.

Marinette let her words sink in – felt them swirl in her chest before settling somewhere in her stomach, amid a swarm of butterflies. ‘You really think so?’ She didn’t want to attach too much hope to the idea, but her heart pounded with longing for Tikki to be right.

Tikki nodded. ‘You're always thinking. Maybe it’s time to follow your heart, for a change.’

‘My heart....’ It was true – for months, she’d put her heart on hold. And where had it got her? Perhaps it was time for a change of strategy.

She sat up straight, her jaw squared. ‘Alright.’ She smiled at her kwami, feeling more motivated than she had in weeks. ‘After dinner, I’ll go talk to Cat Noir.’

‘That’s the spirit!’

With that decision made, the next two hours felt like two years. And when the time finally came to put her plan in motion…well, it was easier said than done.

She had no idea who Cat Noir was…which meant she couldn’t contact him to ask him to meet her somewhere. He’d only see her messages when he transformed, and that usually only happened when there was an akuma alert.

Was it wrong to wish for an akuma alert?

Probably.

She threw her yo-yo, swinging from rooftop to rooftop, recalling how much it had scared her the first time she’d transformed into Ladybug. There was something terrifying about finding out how strong you were and what you could do – especially when you’d been granted superpowers. And being responsible for so many people…it wasn’t something you took lightly. Alya had learned that the hard way – but for whatever reason, Marinette had always understood it.

And so had Cat Noir. He was the most dangerous of them all, yet he wielded his power with care. There were few people who could be trusted with such a thing.

So how had he lost control of that power? What could’ve been awful enough to get her charming kitty akumatised?

She stopped on top of a tall, terraced building and sang softly to herself. ‘Little kitty on a roof, all alone without his lady….’

‘Hey, that’s my song.’

She jumped at the sound of his voice, her cheeks warming and eyes struggling to meet his – the way she usually was with Adrien. ‘You’re here.’

‘That’s what it looks like.’ He had his stick behind his back and one hand tucked around each end. He always looked like he was posing for a photoshoot. She used to think it was on purpose, but right now…no, he did it without thinking.

She cleared her throat. ‘I mean…why are you here? There’s no akuma alert.’

‘I just had a feeling you wanted to see me.’

‘…really?’

He started to nod – then laughed. ‘Okay, maybe I saw you jumping across the rooftops.’

Her mouth was doing something – was curving – was smiling for the first time all day. Tikki was right – this was what she needed. It had taken her a long time to see it, but his ability to joke his way through the most difficult situations was a strength, not an annoyance. If only she had some of his unfettered positivity.

He extended his stick tall enough to fold his hands on it, leaning his chin on them – another perfect photo pose. ‘So, what brings M’lady to the lonely rooftops on an evening like this? I thought I was the only one who did the moping thing.’

‘You’d never do it for long.’

‘That’s true.’ All the humour left his face. ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t have dark spells, though. Very dark, if your Cat Blanc story is to be believed.’

She swallowed and turned away, sitting on the edge of the roof.

Footsteps followed. Then he was sitting beside her, kicking his legs in a rhythm against the side of the building. ‘And here we are again, high above the city we were chosen to defend, neither of us speaking about the personal battles that rage inside.’

She drew her knees up to her chest and slumped forward over them. ‘I thought you were supposed to cheer me up.’

‘You should’ve told me that.’ He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘You were hoping for a fight, weren’t you. That’s easier than all…this. This stuff between us that we aren’t saying.’ He waved his hand around in the air.

‘Are you saying I want conflict?’ She immediately regretted her defensive tone.

‘No, no – just that you know what to do with that. You’re the planner. You’re organised. You get things done. When you go in there to fight the bad guy, you’re totally focused on the mission – locate the akuma, release it, miraculous ladybug, and done!’ He tossed his arm up in the air with a flourish, then wrapped it around his knees, his tail curling up behind him like he was a real cat. ‘But life doesn’t work that way. I hate to say it, but life is more like…we give it our best, and sometimes we win, but sometimes Shadow Moth steals the miraculous.’

She winced, her eyes pinned on the city below.

‘I don’t mean to rub it in,’ he said, ‘but I’ve had my fair share of hard times. And sometimes we just have to state the facts, again and again and again, until we accept them. Then we can figure out how to deal with them.’

‘And what if I don’t know?’

He sighed. ‘There you go, talking about you again. When are you going to accept that you’re not alone in this? You don’t have to do it on your own. I’m here. I’m always here. And someone like you…you probably have a dozen other friends who are there for you, too.’

She stared down at the light glimmering off the big black spot on the back of one of her hands. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’

In her periphery, he frowned. He opened his mouth – but whatever he was about to say was cut off by the sound of screaming.

She jolted to her feet without thinking. When had it become instinct to leap into her fighting stance at the first sign of danger?

Cat had done the same, one foot in front of the other and his body rigid. His eyes gleamed, his golden hair radiant in the evening sunlight. This had always been a key difference between them – he found fun in the action. She rarely found these moments fun.

Maybe she should enjoy herself more. Wasn’t he always saying that?

She shook her head. No time for that, now.

They hurried to the other side of the rooftop, following the screams. Down below was a half-bee, half-man monstrosity – human legs and arms but a black and yellow striped torso and, unbelievably, bee wings. As he hovered above a frightened woman, his wings buzzed like a helicopter, creating their own wind, blowing bins and debris and even people down the road.

In perfect unison, Ladybug and Cat leapt off the rooftop, dropping into the scene just as something flew out of the bee man’s hand and at the woman. It flashed in the sun and then was gone, but it was easy to work out what it was – a stinger. The woman went stiff, paralysed.

Ladybug met Cat’s eyes.

Pollen, she mouthed.

So, it had started. In a way, it was a relief. No more waiting around in anticipation, letting the worries pile up. Cat was right – she might not think of it as fun, but she felt better when she was in action, getting things done.

‘Freeze!’ Cat called out, looking pleased with his word choice.

Their opponent’s head snapped in their direction. His eyes were oversized, black, and bee-like. They also looked slightly glazed over, the way akuma victims always looked when they were communicating with their master, hearing voices in their head.

How had Cat looked when he was first akumatised? She’d only seen him after. Hawk Moth had been turned to stone, under the overspilled Seine. Cat Blanc had no master. He’d been twisted and set loose to dwell in his own darkest thoughts.

But there would’ve been a time when he was controlled – when his brilliant green eyes had borne that same glazed look. Had he fought it? Had it hurt?

She swallowed down the emotion rising in her throat, focusing again on the task at hand.

Their opponent refocused on them, his jaw set in determination. ‘Yes, Monarch.’

Monarch?

Wings buzzing, he lifted off the ground, eyes on her. Strands of hair blew free of her pigtails.

He sneered at her. ‘You must be the other little bug I’ve heard so much about. You’re less impressive in real life.’

She caught a look from Cat Noir – read the message in his eyes. Don’t let him get the best of you.

‘Says you with an enormous stinger to make up for your small man complex,’ she shot back, and she leapt towards him.

He darted out of her way, twisting to try to nab her with his stinger, but she dodged his attack. Behind him, Cat launched himself with his stick, but the stinger shot out and clashed with it like a sword fight. Cat fought back valiantly – like he knew what he was doing with that ‘sword’. Just one of the many clues she’d never allowed herself to think about.

Their opponent thrust himself at Cat. ‘You will succumb in the end. Everyone will. You can’t fight off Paralyser. No one will ever make me feel powerless again!’

The emotion in his voice made Ladybug pause, stung by words. Paralyser took that opportunity to abandon his fight with Cat and attack her instead. Time seemed to stand still. It was like being caught in a nightmare. She could see what was about to happen but couldn’t move her body to stop it. She was helpless – as helpless as she was the night before, when the miraculous were taken.

Just before the stinger bit into her, Cat threw himself at her, knocking her out of the way and onto the road. People thought the two of them were invincible, but they weren’t – it hurt to fall.

He pulled himself to his feet and put out his hands to yank her up with him. ‘What happened back there?’

‘I….’

He groaned. ‘You related to him, didn’t you. Well, stop it. There isn’t time for that now. Do your thing.’

She blinked at his commanding tone. He was right – this wasn’t the time to dwell on her personal issues.

‘O-okay.’ She took a breath and threw up her yo-yo. ‘Lucky charm!’ The usual seemingly useless object fell into her hands. ‘An inner tube?’

‘We’re going to the beach?’ Cat said hopefully.

‘Hm….’ She stared around, trying to think what this thing could be used for. ‘Keep him busy.’

‘Yes, ma’am!’ Cat saluted her and hurried off to meet Paralyser, who’d flown down to re-join their fight.

An inner tube, an inner tube….

She’d thought a lot about how her power worked, since she’d been granted it. The best explanation she could come up with was that the universe didn’t just give her things. Somehow, she knew what she needed, and she called it into being. Then her consciousness needed to work out the message her unconscious was telling her.

In other words, she already had the solution to this puzzle. But sometimes it took her a while to see that. Perhaps there was a metaphor in there that could be applied to the rest of life.

No time for that, either.

An inner tube….

She gasped with understanding – then grinned. Got it. ‘Cat! Lead him to that wall over there and do your thing!’

He threw her a look of mild incomprehension, but he would play along. He always did. Now, she had to play her part.

The wall in question was part of a building – an estate agent’s office. She ran for the entrance and into the building, calling out, ‘Sorry!’ as she interrupted phone calls and tore through an active meeting. ‘Promise I’ll fix this when I’m done!’

The office staff stared at her, probably wondering what it was she intended to fix. A moment later, they found out, when Cat yelled, ‘Cataclysm!’ and punched a large hole straight through one of their walls.

She ignored the cries of shock and held out the inner tube for Cat to dive through with the expertise of a regular swimmer. Paralyser followed but was too large to fit through the ring. His stinger got stuck and he was caught in the tube.

Ladybug smiled and calmly plucked the bee miraculous comb out of Paralyser’s hair. She threw it on the floor and smashed it, releasing the akuma. Paralyser dissolved, making way for an ordinary looking young man, not much older than they were.

‘What…what am I doing here?’ he asked. ‘And why am I…in an inner tube?’

She helped him out of it and threw it into the air. ‘Miraculous ladybug!’

The wall reformed.

‘Told you I’d fix it!’ she announced to the office staff, who returned to what they were doing. At what point had everyone in Paris grown used to such things?

She picked up the healed miraculous and exited the building with Cat and their former opponent.

‘I’m so s-sorry,’ the latest victim said, unable to meet their eyes.

‘It’s okay. Do you remember anything that happened?’

‘N-no. The last thing I know is I was devastated about something that happened with a friend. Well…someone who claims he’s a friend. But he’s always so nasty to other people, and I was…I was starting to feel like a bully myself, for not standing up to him. But whenever I try to tell him I don’t like the things he says or does, he starts threatening me too, and I feel scared. So I just…stopped standing up to him. I wasn’t sure how to get out of the situation and I felt…powerless.’ His head and arms hung down.

Cat put a hand on his shoulder. ‘We all feel that way sometimes. You really aren’t the only one.’

The boy looked at him, his eyes brimming with hope. ‘No?’

Cat shook his head. ‘I feel that way all the time, actually – like there’s a force I need to stand up to, but I just...can’t make myself do it. But you don’t have to give into it. You’re obviously a nice person and just want other people to be nice too. Don’t let them spoil that or see your kindness as a weakness.’

The boy smiled. ‘Thank you so much. And you too,’ he added as he turned to Ladybug.

‘Hm?’ Her eyes were on Cat, turning over his words in her mind. ‘Oh! Yeah, well…you know. Just doing our job.’ She gave a little hapless shrug.

The boy nodded, then hurried off.

When he was gone, she let out a sigh of exhaustion, then opened her palm and stared at the miraculous she still held.

Cat grinned at her. ‘See? I told you we’d get them all back – one at a time – and there’s the first.’

How did he do it? After what he’d just shared about himself…how did he summon that cheer?

She popped open her yo-yo. ‘Time to go home, little miraculous.’ She sent the miraculous through the magic portal, relief filling her heart. Cat was right. They could do this.

‘That’s a wordy new catchphrase.’

She gave him a thin smile and reached out her fist to meet his, for their traditional, ‘Pound it!’

His ring was flashing. Three claws left. ‘Well, I’d better fly.’

Her earrings were flashing, too. ‘Or maybe you could…stay?’

His eyes grew large, the fading sunlight making gold wisps dance in his irises. ‘Is that a question or an order?’

She clasped her hands behind her back and drew circles on the ground with one of her feet. ‘Would you like it to be an order?’ She couldn’t meet his eyes.

He stared at her, his gaze boring holes into her. Then he took a step back. ‘I can’t do this – not like this. Let’s go feed our kwamis, re-transform, and meet at our usual spot. We can talk about it then, without…this.’ He waved his hand at whatever had risen between them.

She nodded. He was right, of course. It was just strange having him be the sensible one, taking his time.

Then again, she’d misjudged him on a lot of things. Comedians often hid a secret seriousness underneath – and if there was one thing she’d learned, it was that the comedy could, in its way, be just as important, sometimes.

He held her eyes - then extended his stick and leapt away. Just in time, too, because as soon as she dashed into a side street, she de-transformed.

Tikki flew out and gaped at her. ‘What was that?’

Marinette took a macaron from her shoulder bag and tossed it to her. ‘It’s time, Tikki. That’s what it was. Like you said, I tried it Master Fu’s way, and look where it got us. Now I need to do it my way. I’m the Guardian, and I say it’s more dangerous for us not to know each other’s identities.’

‘Even after all you’ve seen about the future?’

‘Even then. Things have changed, now. Those futures…they were based on sequences of events that are now in the past…as hard as it is to wrap my head round that. Maybe it wasn’t the right time then…but now it’s different. I’m listening to my heart, Tikki. And it says now’s the time.’

Tikki swallowed down her last mouthful of macaron, then smiled widely. ‘Okay, Marinette. It sounds like you’ve really thought this through, and I trust your instincts. You have my full support.’

Marinette reached for her and held her to her cheek. ‘Thanks, Tikki. I couldn’t do this without you.’ Then she released her and called out, ‘Tikki, spots on!’

Chapter Text

Ladybug landed at their usual spot, back on the rooftop with maybe the best view of the Eiffel Tower in all of Paris. The sun had begun to set and the golden light streaked across the city.

Cat was already there, looking more nervous than she’d ever seen him. He was pacing, his head down, deep in thought. Energy thrilled down her spine. She was about to make his wish come true…and maybe hers, too.

She cleared her throat, to announce herself.

His gaze shot up, catching her eyes. ‘H-hi.’

‘…hi.’

They stared at each other, maybe both waiting for the other to make the first move – to take the lead in this new dance they were doing.

He dragged his claws through his hair. ‘So….’

‘So….’

‘N-nice weather, isn’t it.’ He let out a nervous laugh, scratching his arm for no reason, his gaze darting away before bouncing back to her.

‘Y-yeah.’

They stared at each other longer.

‘Are you….’ His voice held a tremor. ‘Are you going to explain what you meant, back there?’

She kept staring at him. All the confident words she’d spoken to Tikki a few minutes ago seemed like a distant memory. She wasn’t ready to answer his question. Wasn’t sure she was ready for anything she’d decided to do.

But it’s time. I have to do this.

She cleared her throat. ‘Before that…I need to be honest with you. There’s…something else I haven’t told you.’

‘…you mean something more than finding out I was akumatised and ended the world in another reality?’ His words were laced with bitterness – and fear.

Oh, Cat….

‘That, um.’ She swallowed. ‘That time when you were Cat Blanc…that…that wasn’t the only time one of us learned the other’s identity.’

His mouth fell open. ‘…it…it wasn’t?’

She shook her head, forcing her feet to take a step towards him. ‘Okay, remember when I…when I called you to the top of the Eiffel Tower because there was something I needed to tell you? It was the day when –’

‘I couldn’t be there to help you. Yes, I remember.’

‘Well…Master Su-Han threatened that if I didn’t find out your identity, he would replace you with a new Cat Noir.’

He gasped, his eyes flashing. ‘Can he do that?’

‘I don’t know. I wasn’t about to risk it. You…mean too much to me.’

His lips parted again – lips she suddenly wanted to touch.

She hurried on. ‘I also didn’t want to go back on Master Fu’s rule that we should keep our identities secret. So, you know what I’m like….’

‘You thought up a plan.’ His eyes had softened, but his expression was wary, and the dullness of his voice said he already expected not to like the rest of this story.

When she said it out loud, it would sound so much worse than she’d thought it was at the time. But she owed him the truth. If she wanted this to happen – if she wanted their relationship to shift – it couldn’t be founded on secrets and lies.

‘I had Viperion listen in on our conversation,’ she blurted.

‘…what?’

‘The idea was that I would ask your identity, he would hear it, and then he’d reset time back to the beginning of our conversation. Then I wouldn’t remember who you were, but Viperion would and could report it to Su-Han, who could keep the secret. That way, you wouldn’t be replaced, but we also wouldn’t know each other’s identities, and the whole Cat Blanc thing could be avoided.’ She let out the words in a rush, bracing herself for his anger. She deserved it.

Cat swallowed hard. Maybe this was what had pushed him to get akumatised.

But…no. His face contorted like he was fighting off his emotions, forcing himself to remain in control of them. Whatever had caused Cat Blanc…it was so much worse.

‘So, what happened?’ His tone was unnaturally even. ‘I mean…I don’t remember any of this, so you must’ve done something.’

‘N-not me – Sass.’

‘Sass….’

‘Remember we had that weird time flux?’

He nodded slowly.

‘Well, he’d only get involved if the situation were desperate. So, that’s a timestream we’ve both forgotten. It seems that all these times when we’ve learned each other’s identities, it’s…caused the end of the world.’

Yet, I’m ready to risk it. I really am. The thought made her shiver, and she rubbed her arms.

‘Are you upset with me?’ she asked in a small voice.

‘Honestly?’ He looked away, at the Tower, as if it might hold answers…then met her eyes again. ‘I don’t even know if that’s the right word for it.’

She flinched.

‘Ladybug…if I’m going to share my identity with anyone, I only want it to be with you. If I share my feelings, I only want you to hear them. Nothing against Viperion, but those words are not meant for him. Understand?’

‘Y-yes.’ She hadn’t thought of it that way before, but…why? Why hadn’t she thought of it? She wouldn’t have liked for someone else to hear her confession to Adrien. She would’ve been mortified to learn that such a private, personal moment had been overheard – and not just overheard, but purposely overheard, arranged by Adrien himself. Like he was making fun of her.

‘It was the wrong thing to do,’ she said. ‘Not just because of the consequences, but because it was dishonest. And…that’s what I want to correct now.’

‘…what are you saying?’

‘I’m saying…I’m going to tell you who I am.’

He gave a sharp gasp, golden wisps of hair blowing gently around his face in the evening breeze. ‘After everything you’ve just told me – after all the disasters it’s caused?’

She gave a firm nod.

‘But why?’

‘Because – I realised, when we were fighting Paralyser…that’s how I’ve felt. Like I’ve been frozen all year, unable to stand up and speak for myself. Not just as Ladybug but as my normal self, too. I haven’t been listening to my heart.’ She swallowed and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, feeling less confident than her words. ‘Maybe – maybe everything went wrong in those other timelines because we found out by accident – or because I made it too convoluted. Maybe if we make a choice….’ Her voice cracked.

He was turning over her words in his mind. It was clear in the movement of his eyes – eyes she’d never before allowed herself to notice were beautiful. But she noticed now. ‘You don’t really know what will happen.’

It wasn’t a question, so she didn’t answer.

‘What if we trigger another apocalypse?’

She shrugged. ‘I guess Bunnyx will sweep in and tell me I’ve screwed up again.’

His brow rose. Then he dragged his hands over his face. ‘Okay. I won’t pretend I haven’t been dreaming about this day for months, but…I don’t want you to do anything rash. I mean, are you sure you’re in the right place to make this decision, right now?’

‘…what do you mean?’

‘Only that…it’s been a rough time, and maybe that’s colouring things for you. I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later. If you want to do this…I want to know you’re sure you’re ready.’

Her heart stuttered at his wording. ‘I’m sure. We need to do this. I need to do this. Pushing you out all this time…that’s the kind of thing that led to me losing everything. I thought it was the right thing to do, but…I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong about all of it. I’m setting my terms as Guardian.’ She pressed a fist against her chest, for emphasis. ‘We always believed knowing each other’s identities would make us weaker. But what if…what if it makes us stronger?’

On shaky legs, she took a step closer to him.

He took a step back, like he couldn’t quite handle it. ‘O-okay. How do you want to do this? One at a time, or s-simultaneous?’

She hadn’t thought of the particulars. ‘What would you prefer?’

‘I’ll go first. Then, if you change your mind –’

‘I won’t. In fact…I’ll go first.’

‘Y-you’re sure?’ His shoulders had tensed with anticipation.

‘Yes. I owe you that much.’  Yet, she didn’t move, didn’t speak the fatal words.

‘You’re scared.’

She was. For some reason, de-transforming felt like undressing in front of him.

‘Forget it. You don’t have to do this.’

‘No.’ She put up a hand. ‘N-no, I…I want to. It’s just…you know, it would be easier if I didn’t know how much you admire me. That’s a lot to live up to. You might not believe this, but I really do care what you think about me. I’m so worried I’ll disappoint you when you see who I am.’

He shook his head, his blond locks dusting his forehead. ‘That’s not possible.’

‘You don’t know that. See….’ She held herself protectively. ‘…you’ve already met me.’

‘...I h-have?’

She nodded, her gaze on the ground. ‘You know things about me. And when you put the two sides of me together, you’re going to see that I’m not the impressive superhero who always has the answers and saves the day. You’ll see that I’m just a normal girl with a normal life, who stammers her way through ridiculous conversations with a boy at school, and trips over with every step, and struggles to keep up with her schoolwork. There’s nothing impressive about me.’

When he laughed, it sounded like a release of tension. ‘Are you kidding? M’lady…that’ll make you a thousand times more impressive. If all our superheroes were perfect, none of us could ever hope to be like them. I love the idea of you being a normal girl.’

She met his eyes again, a smile forming on her face. Suddenly the decision felt easy.

Before she could think on it anymore, she shut her eyes and whispered, ‘Spots off.’ Then she held her breath.

Silence hung between them, a silence so heavy that she could feel it on her shoulders, making her shrink in on herself.

What was he thinking?

What would he do?

Why didn’t he say something?

Her legs tingled, itching to run, to get away, to pretend this never happened – maybe to go in search of a certain rabbit miraculous and undo this terrible mistake.

Then there was a whisper – ‘Claws in’ – and she felt him take her hands. ‘Marinette. Marinette, look at me.’

Her eyes squinted open, then widened, her mind refusing to understand. How had Adrien got up here and taken Cat’s place? And why were Tikki and Plagg hovering in the distance like that, watching them so closely?

Then the pieces fell into place, and her body trembled with epiphany.

‘You okay?’ he asked, his eyes gentle.

She couldn’t get out the words. This was just – it was – he was –

He dropped her hands, stepping back, giving her space. ‘I knew it was you, you know.’ He sounded like maybe he was just trying to fill the space between them.

She choked out a response. ‘Y-you did?’

‘Y-yeah. I mean, not consciously, but…I guessed it a few times. Something about you…you just always seemed so…so Ladybug.’ His mouth quirked into a shy smile, but his eyes…his eyes. They scanned her up and down, like she was a rare jewel he’d just had the fortune to find.

‘As Marinette? You thought I seemed anything at all like Ladybug?’

‘Sure.’ He shrugged. ‘You’re my best friend. You’re remarkable. Who else could Ladybug have been?’

You’re remarkable….

‘And me…? Did you have any idea I was…?’ He sounded hopeful…and afraid.

‘…none at all. I…I don’t know what to think. When you’re Cat, you’re…you’re so...so….’

He gave a soft laugh

‘Well…Adrien Agreste isn’t just my name – it’s a brand. I have an image to live up to, and Cat Noir allows me to break that image. So, in a way…they’re both just parts I’ve played.’

‘You mean…you’ve been acting?’

‘Not with you.’ Before she could blink, he’d taken her hands again. ‘Most people treat me like I’m not real – but not you. You’re the only person I’ve ever felt able to be truly myself with – both as Marinette and as Ladybug.’

Her heart pounded. He spoke with such urgency, such intensity.

She recalled all the times Cat had told her he never had as much fun as he did when they were fighting side by side. It had never made sense before, but now….

Oh, Adrien….

He released her and combed his fingers through his hair. ‘I…don’t suppose I’m…Buttercup, by any chance.’

‘…Buttercup?’

‘Ahh, I’m such an idiot.’ He took a step back. ‘Sorry. Please can we just erase that moment and pretend it never happened? I mean, we’ve erased so many other events, so what’s one more?’ He kicked at the ground and let out a sigh.

Buttercup….

Memory returned to her. ‘Yes! I mean no, I don’t want to erase that moment, because yes, you’re…you’re Buttercup.’ Her voice dropped as she said it, her heart thrumming with nerves. God, Buttercup. Could they erase that?

‘I am?’ He sounded like he didn’t believe it. ‘You mean, all this time, you’ve…you’ve….’ His eyes locked onto hers, waiting for confirmation.

‘I….’ The words lodged in her throat, just as they’d done so many times before.

But…this was Cat.

Cat, who’d leapt off buildings for her, even de-transformed, with absolute faith that she would save him.

Cat, who in both forms had been there through her panic attack after Monarch stole the miraculous – who’d watched her break down, then run after her, into the night, to reassure her that she hadn’t lost him.

Somehow, her feet were moving, bringing her closer to him. His eyes were so green – the same green they were when he transformed. How had it taken her so long to see who he was? Of course Cat was Adrien. Who else did she know who was that kind and supportive and trustworthy?

‘Adrien…I love you.’ Now that the words had finally left her mouth, it was hard to remember why it had been so painfully difficult to say them all that time.

He blinked at her, unmoving, like he thought she might be playing a trick on him. Then a smile stretched across his beautiful face. ‘You love me.’ He sounded like he was trying to make sense of the words. He turned around and shouted into the sky, ‘She loves me!’ Then he whirled back around and grabbed her. ‘And I love you, Marinette.’

She trembled, his words echoing in her head until they sank in. Then she threw herself into his arms, emotion filling her throat. He caught her, like he always did, holding her tight. His breath travelled down her neck, making her shiver in his arms.

It’s him. Cat Noir is Adrien. He’s Adrien he’s Adrien he’s –

There was no way any of this was happening. Not to her. Not after everything she’d done and been through. Surely Bunnyx would appear in a moment and tell her something awful had happened and all of this had to be erased.

But she didn’t. Instead, Adrien placed his hands on either side of Marinette’s face and gently pulled it towards his. When their lips met, it felt righter than anything had ever felt before.

Sinking against him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him and kissed him, ignoring that voice in the back of her mind asking how such happiness could possibly result in the end of the world.

Chapter Text

As they sat on the edge of the rooftop, Marinette leaned against Adrien’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her, listening to the soft sound of his breath on the evening breeze. It had got late without her noticing, and the moon was full and large, and she was…being held by Adrien. Being held by Cat Noir.

Cat Noir is Adrien. Cat Noir is Adrien. No matter how many times she repeated it in her head, it didn’t seem any realer.

But it was. This was happening. After all that time, they knew their identities – they’d confessed their feelings and –

‘What do we do now?’ she asked, her voice quiet.

‘…do?’

She pulled away gently, sitting so she faced him, already missing his embrace. ‘We can’t be a...a couple as both Ladybug and Cat Noir and Marinette and Adrien.’

‘Why not?’

‘Well, because…someone knows who I am.’

‘Someone….’ The moonlight drew gold flecks out of his eyes. ‘You mean Alya. I bet she was Scarabella, too, wasn’t she?’

She gave him an apologetic smile.

He let out a sigh. ‘If she saw you in a relationship with me, then saw Ladybug in a relationship with Cat Noir, she’d work out that I’m Cat Noir – or maybe she’d just think you’re really mean. That’s not outside the realms of possibility.’

She gave him a withering look she was used to giving Cat Noir, not Adrien – then blinked with surprise at herself. The most shocking thing about learning their identities was that it didn’t seem to change a thing. Here they were, talking as if they’d always known the truth. Was that a sign that this was meant to be? Did it confirm that she’d made the right choice to tell him who she was?

He was drawing circles with his fingertip around the top of his miraculous. ‘So we have to pick one relationship. Is that it?’

‘That’s it.’

‘Hmm. Then let’s make Adrien and Marinette a couple. From this point forward, we’ll be Adrinette.’

‘…Adrinette?’

‘Mm-hm. Marinette, I am so tired of keeping secrets and pretending to be something I’m not. I want everyone to know how I feel about you.’ He spoke with such passion – just as he always did as Cat. But hearing it come from Adrien….

How much had he been holding in, all that time?

He took her hand. ‘When we transform, I’ll go on flirting with you and you can roll your eyes at me like you always do, and no one will be the wiser. I’ll even make sure to be extra annoying, so you don’t fall out of character.’

She laughed. ‘Alright, then. Adrinette it is. But for now…’ She gestured at the night sky.

His face and shoulders fell. ‘I know. It’s time to go home, isn’t it.’

‘Sadly, yes.’ Sometimes she really hated responsibilities.

He gave a heavy sigh. Then, as if he were moving a great weight, he dragged himself to his feet, pulling her up with him.

She glanced around, in search of Tikki and Plagg, who’d flown off somewhere, maybe to give them privacy. ‘Spots on.’

‘Claws out.’

Watching him transform made her heart flutter. It’s him. It’s really him. When would she get used to it?

With a grin, he wrapped an arm around her waist, then extended his staff, vaulting them over the rooftops, back to her house. On the balcony, he hugged her so long, it seemed they might be glued together forever. Then he drew back, gazing deeply into her eyes – kissed her softly – and leapt away.

She watched him until her heart accepted that he was gone. Then she dropped through the rooftop hatch and onto her bed, where she de-transformed and stretched out her arms and legs like an angel.

‘Ohhh, Tikki!’ She hugged her pillow tight, imagining it was him – the cat pillow at the head of the bed.

Cat Noir – Adrien – Cat Noir….

Tikki settled down next to her. ‘Are you sure you made the right decision?’

‘I am, Tikki, I am. I can’t explain it but…something just feels right. Maybe it wasn’t the right time before, but…now it is.’

She sighed with a fluttery kind of happiness – then sat bolt upright. ‘I nearly forgot – Pollen!’

Down the ladder she flew, to her desk where she kept the miracle box. She punched in the code – Adrien’s hair and eye colour – and revealed the small world held within.

Pollen tumbled out, wings buzzing and antennae twitching with excitement. ‘I’m home! You did it!’

‘We did it,’ Marinette said, feeling stronger than she had in a long time. ‘I’m just so sorry I lost you all in the first place. I can’t begin to make up for it.’

Pollen hovered in her face and gave her a stern look – a little like the look Tikki wore at her side. ‘No one is angry with you. You were betrayed – badly. Make up for it by getting us back. That’s all you can be expected to do.’

Her eyes watered. ‘Thank you.’ She wasn’t sure she deserved such graciousness, but she’d do her best to accept it. ‘Were you treated badly? Are the others okay?’

‘They’re being kept somewhere dark. I’m not sure where exactly. The first time I was let out was when Monarch gave me to his akuma victim.’

Marinette’s jaw dropped. ‘You mean he visited him in person?’

Pollen nodded. ‘I think he took control remotely, then swept in to hand over the miraculous.’

‘Hmm.’ Marinette tapped her chin in thought. ‘He’s getting bolder. I guess he has a right to, with the new power he has.’

‘But you and Cat Noir are going to take that power back!’ Tikki declared in a bright voice.

‘You’re right, Tikki. We are. But first – I need some sleep, or I’ll be in no shape to do anything tomorrow.’ She guided Pollen back into the miracle box for the night. ‘Goodnight, Pollen. And welcome home.’

‘Goodnight, Marinette.’

When the box closed, safe and sound, Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. One of the miraculous had been recovered, and that meant she was one step closer to feeling like herself again.

She changed into pyjamas and climbed back up into bed, where she scrolled through her phone. There were a lot of messages from Alya, but she wasn’t ready to read them. More welcome was the message from Adrien.

Adrien: Sleep well, M’lady.

Grinning so hard that her cheeks might fall off, she replied with three Xs, then rolled onto her side. She clasped the cat pillow tightly against her chest, a torrent of emotions flooding through her body as she swiped through her collection of photos of Adrien. After all this time…he was hers.

No. He was always hers. She just hadn’t seen it before.

For the first time, she did an online search for photos of Cat Noir. A lot of them were from the Ladyblog. He’d always been so photogenic, unaware he was even posing. Now that she knew the truth, it was obvious he was Adrien.

Tikki settled beside her, looking at the photos with her. ‘Hey, remember all those times you turned him down and pushed him away, not realising he was the boy you were in love with?’

She swallowed. That was her good mood gone. Painful memories were dropping into her head like apples from a tree, sowing seeds of guilt. ‘I owe Adrien so many apologies. And not just because Cat turned out to be him. I should’ve treated Cat Noir better, regardless.’

‘He seems to have forgiven you – just like Pollen and Plagg and I have.’

‘Yes – and somehow that makes it so much worse.’ She put down the phone for the night. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.’

Tikki frowned hard. ‘People make mistakes, Marinette. What’s important is that you learn from them and don’t make the same mistakes again. That starts with the apologies - which you’ve already given. This is all part of the growing process.’

Marinette’s thoughts flitted to Alya – to all the messages she hadn’t read. ‘You’re right, Tikki. I guess we’re...all just learning, aren’t we?’

‘Well…I’m not sure that applies to us kwamis but…yes.’

Smiling, she shook her head. ‘Goodnight, Tikki.’

‘Goodnight, Marinette.’

She snuggled under the duvet, clutching the pillow and closing her eyes, pushing out the doubts and replaying the evening – his touch – his smell – his kiss – every beautiful moment imprinting itself in her head and following her into her dreams.

In his room, Adrien lay on the bed, his arms folded behind his head like a pillow. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

‘So, you finally got your camembert,’ Plagg declared as he threw a hunk of the stuff down his bottomless throat.

‘Yeah. I guess I did.’ It was a little hard to believe – like his life was finally turning a corner and his deepest wish had just come true.

His chest tightened, and he sat up with a gasp.

‘You okay?’

‘I…I’m not sure.’ He touched his heart, counting the beats to calm his nerves. ‘Is it wrong to feel like everything’s too good to be true? Like something bad will happen?’

‘Of course not. Ladybug already told you the world ended twice when you found out each other’s identities. Why wouldn’t you worry it’ll happen again?’

Why had he even asked?

The sound of the door opening sent Plagg flying under the bed, just as his father entered the room. Naturally, he hadn’t knocked first. Even at this time of night, his suit and hair were immaculate.

‘Adrien.’ Somehow, he always managed to make his name sound like an execution announcement. He shut the door behind him with the finality of a zookeeper locking an animal’s cage.

‘Father.’ His back was rigid with nerves. He hadn’t seen his father in two days. That was nothing unusual – but the whole of Paris had nearly gone up in flames, Nathalie had collapsed, the tour was off, and his father was behaving like nothing had happened.

His father sat on the bed beside him, almost perfectly distanced so their arms couldn’t accidentally touch. He didn’t seem to want to initiate the conversation, so Adrien asked, ‘Where’ve you been?’

‘Contacting people regarding the tour. I’ve decided to postpone it indefinitely.’

‘Oh.’ Words rushed through his head – things he wanted to say. That it was a great relief to hear this – that he hadn’t wanted to leave school and all his friends in the first place – that he could think of few things worse than being stuck with no company except Lila for an unspecified number of months – that he had a girlfriend now and wanted to stay in Paris more than ever.

But his father wasn't the kind of man who would listen to any of that, so Adrien kept his thoughts to himself – especially his instinct that his father was lying. He had not spent all that time cancelling the tour. He’d probably hired someone else to do that for him. So what had he been doing?

‘Will Nathalie be okay?’ he asked.

His father’s brow lifted, as if he’d forgotten about her. ‘She had a fainting spell.’

‘I...I know. It’s like Mother all over again…isn’t it.’

His father stiffened – more than usual. ‘What gives you that idea?’

That wasn't an answer.

Adrien stared at his hands, folded in his lap. ‘I think about it sometimes – that day when she fell and didn’t get back up.’

‘…oh?’

‘Before it happened…she had fainting spells and headaches the way Nathalie does. The doctors didn’t have any answers then, either. What are the chances that the same unexplained condition would strike them both?’ He looked up at his father, searching for some trace of recognition in his steel blue eyes – but he found none.

‘You shouldn’t occupy yourself with such morbid thoughts.’ It sounded like chastisement.

A potent silence rose between them. He absolutely could not share his true feelings with his father.

‘Anyway.’ His father dusted off his crisp, clean trousers. ‘The tour is off. That’s all I came here to say.’ Before Adrien could reply, he stood abruptly and left the room.

Plagg flew out of hiding. ‘What was that all about?’

Adrien sighed. ‘When it comes to my father, it’s incredible that anything surprises me anymore. But it’s obvious he was hiding something.’

And so am I.

He burrowed his hands in his pockets and found the small object he’d been carrying since he’d found it on the floor of his father’s study two days earlier.

It was definitely some sort of infrared device. Before school that morning, he’d looked over just about every surface in his room through the eyepiece and seen every fingerprint, everywhere touched by heat. You’d only have such an object if you were searching for something.

Instinct told him it belonged to Felix. He obviously hadn't visited him and offered that little identity switch just to rescue him from the tour...so what had he come to the mansion to find? What was so important?

I was so stupid to trust him . If he hadn’t been under the spell of Risk, maybe he would’ve questioned his cousin’s motivations – could’ve prevented Shadow Moth from getting the miraculous.

He stared through the eyepiece again. He’d have to show it to Marinette. She’d surely have some ideas about it.

Marinette.

He slipped the object back into his pocket and pulled out his phone, rifling through not just his collection of photos of Ladybug, but also the few pictures he had of Marinette.

She loves me. She really loves me.

His heart was brimming over. All those times Ladybug had turned him down for another boy….

I was the other boy.

What were the odds?

He fired off a quick text.

Adrien: Sleep well, M’lady.

Then he lay down again, not bothering to change for bed, and closed his eyes, his mind a jumbled sea of thoughts of Ladybug, Marinette, and the strange device tucked away in his pocket.

Chapter Text

The following morning, Marinette woke up from the most beautiful dream. She’d had this wild idea, to share her identity with Cat Noir. They’d gone to their spot on the rooftop and revealed themselves – and hope against hope, he’d turned out to be Adrien Agreste.

‘I love you,’ he’d said, and then he’d kissed her. Adrien had kissed her, holding her close and combing his fingers through her hair, everything about him filling her senses.

If only.

Smiling to herself, she fluttered her eyes open, preparing herself for the real world – then shot up in bed, remembering.

‘That was real.’ She blinked. Then blinked again. ‘That was real!’

‘It’s also real that you’re going to be late for school, if you don’t leave soon,’ Tikki said.

She grabbed her phone, checking the time. ‘Eek!’ She’d slept through her alarm.

Leaping out of bed, she dashed down the ladder and changed into school clothes, hurling her pyjamas on the floor behind her.

She nearly fell down the stairs, finger-combing her hair and redoing her pigtails as she went. On her way through the kitchen, she grabbed one of the fresh croissants her father had laid out for the day. ‘Thanks, Dad!’ she yelled around a hairband stuffed in her mouth, as she tore through the front door.

This was not a day she wanted to miss.

She switched the hairband with the croissant and finished her hair at the crossing. As cars whipped past, it hit her. Today everything would change.

Today, they would go public.

She’d fantasised about this at least a million times – announcing to everyone that Adrien was her boyfriend – the looks on Chloe and Lila’s faces, especially. All of it was about to come true and…actually, it…wasn’t as exciting than she’d imagined.

Yes, it would be easier than it had been with Luka. At least she didn’t have to lie to Adrien every time she had to transform and save Paris. But together, they would be lying to everyone.

And it was more than that. What they shared was private – special. But very soon, it would be out of their hands, open to speculation and scrutiny – and not just at school. Adrien was famous. This would make the international news. Even total strangers on the internet would have things to say, imagining they understood the first thing about her or Adrien, while they led secret lives of peril behind the scenes.

‘Are you crossing?’ a woman interrupted her thoughts.

‘Huh? Oh! Yes!’ She raced over the road, stumbling over her feet and trying to collect herself as suavely as she could on the other side. She stuffed down the croissant so fast, she nearly choked on it as she hurried on to school.

Maybe all of this was a dream after all, because she arrived early. What did you do when that happened? Go inside like a total nerd, over-excited for class to start? Or hover by the school entrance, waiting to see him?

Definitely that.

Her hands trembled as she lingered on the front steps. How did she look? Were her clothes wrinkled? She hadn’t got quite enough sleep – maybe she had circles under her eyes. Maybe she should’ve worn some makeup.

She dug through her bag, fishing out a small pot of lip gloss and applying it with shaky fingers.

‘Are you okay?’ Tikki asked from her bag.

‘I’m nervous.’

‘But why?’

‘Because maybe he made a mistake.’ She flashed a fake smile at a fellow student heading into the school building – hopefully the kind of smile that said, Nope, not me having a conversation with my bag. When they passed, she put away the lip gloss. ‘What if he’s changed his mind since last night?’

‘That’s ridiculous. Adrien might be a good actor, but he isn’t a liar.’

That was true.

‘Anyway, how long has he been in love with Ladybug? He’s finally got his wish – she loves him too.’

‘But what if he really is disappointed that it’s me? What if he was just being nice, last night? What if…if…?’

‘Marinette. Where are these silly thoughts coming from?’

‘I – I don’t know. I think it’s just…. Too much has happened in too short a time. It’s…I can’t process it. I –’

‘Marinette.’

She jumped as Alya stepped in front of her. Her skin had paled and she looked like she hadn’t slept all night. ‘Oh, h-hey, Alya. What’s up?’

Alya blinked at her. ‘I called and called you last night, but you never picked up. Did you get my messages?’ Her voice sounded small and timid and not very Alya-like.

‘I…yeah, I got them.’ Marinette looked around and down the steps – at the road, in case Adrien’s car pulled up. ‘I just…had a lot on my mind and didn’t have the energy to call back.’

A pang of guilt went through her heart as Alya’s normally bright face fell. She didn’t mean to hurt her friend. But her friend had hurt her.

‘Are you ever going to forgive me?’ Alya asked.

‘…I want to – I really do. Believe me, this whole thing has me just as upset. I don’t like fighting with you. I just…I need time.’

‘Then you have it.’ Her tone was absolute. ‘But…can I ask you something?’

Marinette gave a small nod.

‘This is more than just the Ladyblog thing, isn’t it?’

‘…w-what do you mean?’

‘I mean…you even forgave me for telling Nino about…you know. So why have you gone so cold over me filming what happened?’

‘Alya –’

She put up her hands and waved them frantically. ‘I don’t mean what I did was right. I get it – okay? I’m the only one who knows your secret, and I should’ve been there for you. But how sorry do you need me to be, for that?’

You’re not the only one anymore. Marinette bit her tongue to hold back the thought. ‘You’re right. It’s not just about that. After what happened…well, I did a lot of thinking and…Alya, I trusted you – I trusted you with my biggest secrets in life. But you’ve…never really trusted me.’

Alya took a step back, looking at her as if she was seeing her for the first time. ‘I don’t – what do you mean?’

‘Well...every time I tried to tell you about things Lila said or did to me, you said I was overreacting or jumping to conclusions. But I was a witness to it, Alya – and you didn’t believe me.’

Now that she’d got started, words spilled out like water. ‘And when I had things going on in my personal life, you rolled your eyes and acted like nothing I did could possibly be as important as what you had on – like the Ladyblog.’

Alya was glancing around at other students walking past them. ‘Marinette, maybe you should –’

‘And when I told you Adrien told me himself that he didn’t want to go on that tour the other day, you accused me of trying to control him.’

‘I –’

‘You’ve never really taken my feelings for him seriously, have you? You haven’t seen the way Adrien and I have got to know each other over time. You haven’t noticed how close we’ve been getting. You –’

‘Marinette!’

The words dried up, her heart fluttering wildly. It was him, it was him.

She slowly turned around to see him slamming the car door shut and running up the steps to meet her. His golden hair flew around his face, and he wore a wide smile to go with his sparkling green eyes. She’d been so wrapped up in her monologue that she’d forgotten to look out for him – hadn’t prepared herself for his appearance.

Alya straightened out the stricken expression on her face and plastered on her friendliest smile – but it looked hollow. ‘Hey, Adrien.’

‘Hey, Alya.’ He greeted her without really looking at her.

Suddenly his arms were around Marinette, pulling her into a fierce embrace, causing her to let out a strangled cry of surprise. Stunned by this public display, she hung limp in his arms. Then she melted into the hug, settling her face against his shoulder blade, smelling his soft cologne.

When he pulled back, he held onto her hand, his sunny smile never leaving his face. ‘I missed you,’ he said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

‘I missed you too,’ she said, her voice quieter. She kept her eyes fixed on his, vaguely aware that people – especially Alya – were staring.

He walked into the building, taking her with him, seemingly oblivious to the others – including Alya, who followed after them with wide eyes.

Marinette recalled that interview they did as Ladybug and Cat Noir – the one that led to Nadja being akumatised into Prime Queen. What was it Cat had said to her, when she’d got upset at Nadja prying into their personal lives? ‘That’s the price of stardom.’ He’d been speaking from experience. He knew how to deal with stares and gossip.

‘I hardly slept,’ he told her. ‘I nearly called you eight – no, nine – times. But I stopped myself because I figured you were asleep. I don’t even know what I would’ve said. I didn’t really have anything to talk about. I just wanted to hear your voice again.’ He rattled off his confession with the ease Cat Noir always had when pouring out his love for Ladybug. ‘Then I thought about texting you this morning, but I worried that would seem too needy. But here I am, telling you about it, so….’

They’d made it up the stairs and to their English class. He stopped at the door and turned to face her – so abruptly that she slammed into him. He caught her before she could fall, just like he always did. In every way, he was her beloved Cat Noir.

She gave a nervous laugh, hardly knowing where to look.

He grinned at her. ‘What are your plans for lunch?’

‘Plans?’ She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Um…the cafeteria?’

‘Meet me in the basement, okay?’

Her brow lifted. ‘Okay.’ They weren’t supposed to go there, but the rule seemed to be broken all the time, lately.

He pushed open the door and walked through, with Marinette still in hand. Alya followed behind and headed for her seat, where she continued to stare at them.

Now that they were in the classroom, everyone was really watching them – with very keen interest.

Her hand felt hot where he held it, like his touch was literal fire. This was so much easier as Ladybug, when no one could see her face and talk to her about it later.

Without warning, he kissed her quickly on the cheek before releasing her hand and taking his seat next to Nino at the front of the classroom.

For a moment, Marinette felt like she’d been stung by Paralyser. Every one of their classmates was gaping at her with open mouths. Even Miss Bustier was staring.

Then they erupted into loud applause – everyone except Chloe and Lila, who were growling and glowering at their desks.

‘She did it!’ several of them cried out. ‘She finally told him!’

That got Adrien’s attention. He looked sharply at Marinette for explanation, but she gave a hapless smile and hurried past him, slipping into her own seat beside Alya.

‘Girl.’ Alya looked like she might combust at her desk.

With trembling hands, Marinette pulled out her notebook and a pen. If nothing else, they were a point of focus, something to keep her from meeting everyone’s watchful eyes.

‘Alright, class!’ Miss Bustier clapped her hands to silence the excited chatter. ‘Come on, let’s start today’s lesson.’

Then she started droning on about something Marinette only half-heard, her hand still tingling at Adrien’s touch, and her cheek still burning from where he’d kissed her.

Chapter Text

Marinette dragged herself through her morning classes, time passing too slowly. Like lunchtime might never come. Like she’d never get to meet Adrien in the school basement.

Between classes, Alya said, ‘So that’s where things are at with us, now? You didn’t think to tell me that Adrien is your boyfriend?’

Marinette hugged a history textbook to her chest. ‘I didn’t keep it from you on purpose. It literally only happened last night, and it was something I wanted to keep for myself for a while. It’s weird having it out there, now.’ She touched her hair, to distract herself from the way everyone was looking at her even without him there.

‘Adrien doesn’t seem bothered about it.’

‘I know. Everything about him is so –’ She stopped herself before she could say so Cat Noir. Because it was true. In both roles, Adrien wore his heart on his sleeve and didn’t much care what anyone thought about it. It was possibly the thing she most admired about him.

‘So what?’ Alya prompted.

‘Perfect,’ Marinette filled in automatically, but it sounded hollow. Because he wasn’t perfect – and she was glad of it.

Alya arched an eyebrow. ‘That’s not what you were going to say.’

‘And I’m not telling you what I was going to say. You’ll just have to writhe in the agony of not knowing.’

Alya let out a loud grunt of frustration, which sounded like it might have been playful. Hopefully.

Chloe brushed past, too hard. They were forced to stop when she stood in front of them, leaning on one leg, arms crossed over her chest. Sabrina hovered behind her.

‘How’d you do it, Dupain-Cheng?’ Chloe demanded, stabbing a finger in her direction. ‘How did you – an utter nobody – nab Adrien Agreste?’

At least a dozen snarky replies flashed through Marinette’s head. But this wasn’t a game, and Adrien wasn’t some object to be won. Hadn’t she just told Alya that morning that what they shared was more serious than that?

So she put on her brightest smile, summoning Adrien-like good cheer. ‘I need to get to class, Chloe.’ Then she stepped around the flummoxed girl and hurried on to her next lesson, where she took her seat, determined to take notes on absolutely everything – anything to keep her mind off the clock.

When the bell rang, signalling lunchtime, she nearly whooped out loud. Shaking, it took her three attempts to shove her things back in her bag. Then she hurtled out of the classroom, nearly tripping on the way, and shot down the stairs, to the basement.

It was dark when she arrived – but a faint light shone from the back. Following it, she found Adrien with his phone on as a torch, propped up to illuminate that private portion of the room.

He was nibbling at a sandwich, but he put it down and got to his feet when she approached, throwing his arms around her. ‘You came,’ he spoke into her hair, the adoration in his voice making her heart pound.

His was pounding, too. She could feel it against her chest, almost in the same rhythm as her own.

She pulled out of his embrace and settled on the floor across from him, pulling out her own sandwich. Her appetite had fled, but it gave her hands something to do, something to stop the tremors. ‘You thought I wouldn’t?’

He shrugged. ‘This isn’t exactly the most romantic of venues.’

She laughed. ‘So why’d you ask to meet me here?’

‘Partly, I just wanted to be alone with you. Having everyone stare at you gets old fast, doesn’t it?’

Her brow lifted. ‘So you did notice.’

‘Of course. But you learn to act like you don’t see it.’

She’d figured as much. ‘But doesn’t that kind of…I don’t know…numb you to things?’

‘Maybe for some people. But not me. I know everyone has this image of me, but…I feel things more than I let on.’ His expression was intense, as if her were giving her a demonstration of what he meant.

A memory flashed through her mind, of Adrien sobbing on a bench in Place des Vosges. It was just after she’d hurled Cat Noir into a bin because he’d expressed his emotions one too many times for her comfort.

Her sandwich was tasteless in her mouth, but she forced herself to swallow it down. ‘I’ve hurt you so many times, haven’t I.’

‘We-ell….’

‘No, don’t be diplomatic. Tell it to me straight – please.’

He scratched his head. ‘I mean…yes, I suppose you have. But I also appreciate that I was pretty annoying. I should’ve just been myself. But that was hard because…well, I wasn’t really sure who that was.’

Oh.

His hand fell to his lap. ‘You know…I tried to change for you, once.’

‘…change?’

He nodded. ‘So, um…you’re not the only one who’s been keeping secrets. I, uh…I was Cat Walker.’

She chewed on a mouthful of sandwich, the pieces falling into place. ‘Cat Walker. Because you’re a model – of course! Wow, you really are versatile.’

‘I try.’

‘But wait…why did you do that?’

He played with his ring, turning it around his finger. ‘We had an argument and I thought you didn’t want me anymore. So I took off my ring.’

‘...I remember. I was devastated.’

He looked up, his eyes bright under the hood of his eyelashes, even in the dim of the basement. ‘Really?’

‘Try not to sound too happy about it.’

He grinned. ‘Anyway. Plagg came back with this plan. Said he’d spent a lot of time with you and had an idea of what kind of boy you wanted. He trained me to get into that headspace, so my costume would change. But the experiment didn’t really work.’

‘Actually…I’d say it did. I mean…you showed up like Prince Charming in a fairytale. You were perfect – and I hated it.’

‘…you did?’

‘Oh yeah. You did everything I told you to – you took everything seriously – and it was so boring. There was no chemistry. All I wanted was my Cat Noir back.’

His grin widened. ‘Then Plagg really is a genius. And he’s listening, isn’t he. I’m sure he’ll remind me that I said that, later.’

She laughed, a weight falling off her shoulders – a weight she hadn’t even known she’d been carrying. ‘We sure have played a lot of games this year, haven’t we. Pretending to be all kinds of different people. Spying on each other, really. Think of all those times you turned up as Cat while I was me – or when I turned up as Ladybug and you were you. I dread to think what you thought of me when I was babbling on about that boy I liked but couldn’t tell.’

He looked deeply into her eyes. ‘I loved it – because it was the only time you really talked to me.’

‘You mean without stammering all over the place?’

He laughed loudly. ‘Exactly! When you didn’t know it was me, you were normal. I got to know the real you, and it...just made me like you more.’

Her heart jumped.

‘But why were you so nervous, Marinette? Please don’t tell me it was because of the modelling.’

‘N-no. I’ve never loved you for your image. It…it started that day in the rain – when you gave me your umbrella. Our eyes met, and there was….’

‘A connection,’ he murmured. ‘I felt it too.’

All this time – they’d been feeling the same things.

She cleared her throat. ‘The trouble was, you just seemed so perfect. You’re handsome, and rich, and famous, and play piano, and know multiple languages, and fencing, and –’

‘Whoa, whoa, take a breath!’ He laughed and shook his head. ‘This is exactly the kind of thing I like taking a break from, as Cat Noir. I promise you I’m not perfect.’

‘I...I know that. All I’m saying is you can be intimidating.’

‘That’s not how I ever want to be seen.’ He took one of her hands. ‘Listen – forget my CV, okay? When it really counts, who’s the one with all the ideas?’

She blinked at him – then understood. He was talking about Ladybug. ‘Um…me.’

‘Right. And do you ever see me making the plans?’

‘N-no. Not really.’

‘Exactly. Everything I do…okay, yeah, it’s great to know how to do those things…but they’re just skills. They don’t make me some genius. In a lot of ways, I often feel stupid – especially around you.’

He felt stupid around her?

‘I’ve been so sheltered. But you…you have this…intuition. Face it, Marinette, when we go out there, I’m just the muscle. You’re the muscle and the brains.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘Not true. You’re the heart. I’m the head. And the heart is a kind of intelligence I struggle with. We need each other.’

He smiled. ‘I like that.’ His eyes glowed in the torchlight. If she wasn’t careful, she might sink into his stare and never find her way out again.

With effort, she drew out of his grasp. ‘So...what’s the other reason you brought me down here?’

‘If I said it was to kiss you, would you believe me?’

Her cheeks warmed, but she shook her head. ‘You have something on your mind. What is it?’

‘See? You’re smart.’ He dug into his pocket and pulled something out, rolling it between his fingers.

‘What’s that?’

‘I’m not sure. I found it at home, in front of that big portrait of my mother, where my father does his work.’ He handed it to her.

It was a round piece of glass…or plastic…shaded red. It looked innocuous enough…but….

She held it to her left eye and gasped.

‘What do you see?’ He sounded like he already knew what she would say.

‘It’s some kind of device that lets you see – I’m not sure what. Infrared?’ She twisted around, examining the basement through the lens.

‘That’s what I decided too. I think it belongs to Felix.’

She winced and pulled the device away from her eye. ‘Another thing I need to apologise for.’

He waved this away. ‘No need. It’s flattering that you were so eager to entrust a miraculous to me.’

‘But I couldn’t see that you were already right there with me.’

He shrugged. ‘It’s over now. I’ve moved on.’

‘Okay, see, that – that’s what I mean. Emotional intelligence – don’t underrate yourself.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind. So what do you think Felix was using it for?’

‘Hm….’ She turned the object over in her hands. ‘You say you found it in the room with your mother’s painting?’

‘Mm-hm.’

‘Is there anything strange about the painting?’

‘You mean like, is it the cover for a hidden safe where I once found the grimoire of the miraculous?’

The eyepiece seemed to leap out of her hands of its own volition. Adrien leapt forward to catch it before it could fall and smash. Another of his many talents.

‘S-sorry,’ she said. ‘It…what?’

He nodded. ‘I know.’

‘Ugh, you know what? I have another confession.’

‘You stole the grimoire from me,’ he guessed. ‘I worked that out about five seconds ago. That’s why it went missing.’

‘Y-yes. Tikki said it was important and we had to take it.’

‘Then you magically turned up to return it, so I could continue to attend school. You put me before the job, didn’t you.’

‘Well, of course. I couldn’t take away your life like that. But Master Fu took photos of every page before I returned it. That’s how he learned how to create the potions that let us power up.’

Adrien looked away, as if piecing together a mental puzzle, then met her eyes again, his glistening with emotion. It was almost too much to look at.

She picked at her sandwich. ‘If I may ask…how'd you find the grimoire in the first place?’

‘Oh…I was going to speak to my father, when I accidentally walked in on him shutting the door to the safe – and it was the painting. Later, Plagg broke into the safe and unlocked it from the inside so I could see.’

‘Was there anything else there?’

‘I can’t really remember. I was too overloaded with the fact that my father had a hidden safe – and behind that painting, of all things. Do you know how much time my father spends up there? His workstation is right in front of the painting. He stares at it a lot. Now I’m wondering if there’s something more to it.’

‘And you think Felix worked that out too?’

He nodded. ‘Say what you will about my cousin, but he’s cleverer than I am.’

‘Well, he has no heart.’ She scowled at the memory of his betrayal – her mistake.

‘I don’t want to write him off quite as fast as that, but…well, he certainly hasn’t made any friends, recently.’

‘So why would he drop this?’

‘My father probably walked in on him.’

‘And he…?’

‘Pretended to be me, I expect. We switched roles for the day. It was his idea – and I was so taken by Risk that I didn’t stop to think that was out of character for him. He had to have an ulterior motive. I think he wanted a chance to explore the house.’

She chewed on her lip as she processed this information. ‘So, he was looking for something. He probably even had something specific in mind. Evidence, maybe?’

‘Of what?’

‘Hm….’ She took another bite of her sandwich.

‘You have that I have an idea look on your face. Like you’re working out how to use your lucky charm.’

She grinned. ‘I was just thinking that maybe we should do our own inspection of your house. But when?’

‘My father always goes to bed at midnight. It’s like clockwork. Transform and come to my room tonight.’

She arched one of her eyebrows. ‘You sound like you already figured this out before we had this conversation.’

He grinned back, a crafty glint in his eyes that was all Cat Noir. ‘Okay, so sometimes I come up with plans too.’

Chapter Text

Adrien groaned when the bell rang at the end of the lunch hour. How was it already time to go back to class? Photoshoots never seemed that short.

Marinette flashed him a small smile, her eyes not quite meeting his, as if she felt timid around him. But there was no need. They’d crossed a line they could never go back over – a line it was hard to believe had ever existed.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘We’d better go before we’re late.’

‘…yeah. That’d really be tragic.’

Laughing, she crammed in the last of her lunch, and he did the same. Their conversation had distracted him, made him forget the purpose of the hour between lessons. Finishing their last bites, they packed up their things and he helped her to her feet.

Her hands were soft and warm in his. How was he supposed to let go of them? How could anyone in their right mind expect him to leave her for the rest of the school day?

Using his phone’s torchlight, he led them out of the basement, up the stairs, peeking out to make sure no teachers were walking past. Then they scurried out, quickly shut the door, and let out a breath of relief before dissolving into shared laughter.

They walked through the school together until they hit the fork where they had to go different ways, to different lessons. Ignoring the stares, he leaned in, kissing her – maybe a moment too long, considering they weren’t alone. But he just couldn’t help it. He had so many feelings.

Cheeks as pink as her jeans, she drew away. ‘See you later.’

‘Later.’

Then she was gone – only to another classroom, but it may as well have been another planet.

Pull yourself together! If he didn’t get to class on time, he’d get a detention, and then it’d take even longer to see her again.

Not to mention, his father would kill him – maybe even threaten to take him out of school.

That nightmare image sent him almost running down the hall, breathless as he slipped into his classroom and took his seat. Her name was on his lips, his mouth threatening to form the shape, his voice desperate to shout it across the room.

The teacher started droning on about something not nearly as interesting as Marinette. His mind was so full of her – her face, the feel of her small frame in his arms, the taste of her lips….

But more than that, one thought repeated in his mind.

I’m not alone.

After all those months, he finally had someone he could be wholly himself with, someone he didn’t have to lie to, someone he could confide in. This eyepiece business…he didn’t need to figure it out by himself. As Ladybug or as Marinette, she was his partner. She would help him.

Somehow, he made it to the end of the school day. The instant the bell rang, he was packing up his things. There was still fencing to get through, but the sooner he got that over with, the sooner he’d see her again.

Beside him, Nino was shooting him looks, a small smirk playing on his lips, like he thought he knew what was on Adrien’s mind. But he couldn’t know the full story. No one could – no one but Marinette.

Marinette. When would the thought of her stop making his heart pound? Probably never. Hopefully never.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the exit, almost stumbling over his feet in the rush.

Nino caught up with him and threw an arm around his shoulder, slowing him down and steering him safely out of the classroom. ‘Dude! How come you didn’t tell me about you and Marinette? That’s big news, bro!’

‘Sorry. I guess I’m still not used to how these things work.’ He headed in the direction of the boys’ locker room.

‘So how’d it happen? Did you ask her, or did she ask you? Because if she asked you, I owe Max some money.’

Adrien’s brow lifted. ‘You placed bets on it?’

‘Oh yeah. Dude, you’re, like, literally the last person in the world to work out that she likes you. We’ve all been trying to get her to tell you for months.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously. It’s been crazy. It’s such a relief not to have to keep it secret anymore! And not to have to keep coming up with ploys to get you two together.’

‘…ploys?’

‘Oh yeah, like that time we went to the waxworks museum? Alya had this plan to leave the two of you alone together so Marinette could confess. Boy, that didn’t work!’

Adrien touched his cheek without thinking, recalling the kiss Marinette had planted on him in the museum, thinking he was a statue – mixing up all his ideas about what he felt for her.

What was it she’d said to him, that day? Something about…the plaster of destiny…? That was definitely one to remind her about.

With Nino still at his heels, he pushed open the locker room door and went in, making for his locker between two other students he only vaguely knew. He popped open his locker and put his textbooks away, then pulled out his fencing gear, while Nino stood at the side, his eyes glazed over in reminiscence.

Nino suddenly laughed. ‘Oh man. I was just remembering the time Marinette crashed that weird private party your dad had, so she could erase a video Chloe had of us all talking about a plan to help her confess.’

Adrien went still. Beside him, the other boys shot him a look, then closed their lockers and walked away, out of the room.

‘Or that chest full of presents for you that Marinette keeps in her room.’

‘…presents?’ A memory came to him, of a rather unexpected pottery wheel in the park.

‘Yeah, dude. She makes all these birthday presents for you in advance – like that scarf, or –’

‘Wait – what?’ Adrien slammed the locker door shut and spun around, fencing gear crushed to his chest.

Nino was frozen with his mouth open. His eyes darted around the room, as if trying to work out what he’d said wrong. Then he hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. ‘Ohh. Oh, right, dude. That was meant to be from your old man, wasn’t it. My bad.’ He gave a sheepish smile. He seemed wholly unaware that Adrien’s whole world had just turned upside down.

‘You mean the blue scarf I got for my birthday? That wasn’t from my father?’

Nino groaned loudly. ‘I’m sorry, dude. I was so excited about finally being able to tell you these things that I forgot I wasn’t supposed to tell you that thing.’

Adrien steadied himself against the locker. ‘You mean…she made that for me? And she was willing to let me think it came from my father?’

‘Yeah, well…you know.’ Nino scratched his temple. ‘Alya told me Marinette saw how happy you were and she…well, she didn’t want to ruin that for you.’

‘Wow,’ he breathed. Marinette was even more incredible than he’d realised. His heart flooded with new feeling – gratitude, not just to her but to the universe for sending her to him. He smiled at his friend. ‘Thank you so much for telling me, Nino.’

‘…does that mean I did the right thing?’

Adrien patted him on the shoulder. ‘You did. And I’ll try to tell you the next time something big happens in my life.’ Guilt weighed on his shoulders. He really wanted to keep that promise, but there were limits to what he could share.

Then again….

Marinette told Alya she was Ladybug.

Could he tell Nino he was Cat Noir?

Would he be able to keep it secret?

‘I have to get to my fencing lesson,’ Adrien said.

Nino got to his feet, putting up his hands in a gesture of surrender. ‘Oh yeah, dude – fence away! And text me later?’

Adrien grinned. ‘It’s a deal.’

In the girls’ locker room, Marinette put away her books and shut the door – then jumped at the sight of Alya waiting behind it.

‘Hey.’ Alya gave a little wave. ‘Can I walk home with you?’

It had been less than eight hours since Marinette had declared that she needed time – but her mind was spilling over with things she needed to share with someone. At least…everything she could share with anyone who wasn’t Adrien or Tikki.

And if she was honest with herself…her heart ached to have her friend back. To fix what had broken between them and find a way forward.

She let out a heavy sigh. ‘Alright.’ She slung her bag over her shoulder and they headed out of the room, out of the school together, in silence.

As they turned down the road, Alya said, ‘So…it’s a pretty big thing, right? You and Adrien?’

‘Y-yeah, I…I guess it is.’

‘Did you tell him how you felt, or did he say something first?’

She clutched her bag tighter, for stability. ‘Actually, it was kind of…mutual.’

‘Mutual?’

‘Yeah, you know, like…we kind of said it at the same time.’ Marinette couldn’t meet her friend’s eyes. We said it at the same time? What, like it was synchronised? Ground, swallow me up now.

‘O-kaaay. So how'd he tell you? What did he say?’

‘Um.’ Quick, think of something! Remember – you’re the one with the ideas. ‘He said he’d had feelings for me for a really long time but worried I didn’t feel the same way.’ That was basically true…even if he’d told her that as Cat Noir and not Adrien.

Alya’s eyes widened. ‘Really? That’s amazing, girl! Just think – after all this time…! You were so scared to tell him, but he felt the same way all along.’

‘Yeah. Just imagine.’ She tried for a laugh, the walk home feeling longer than ever.

‘Ahh, I’m so glad it worked out for you.’ Alya stopped suddenly and grabbed Marinette’s hand, forcing her to look at her. ‘Really. I’m happy for you.’

Marinette’s eyes welled with unexpected tears. As hurt as she’d been…she’d missed this. Yes, she had Adrien now…but she couldn’t talk to Adrien about Adrien. Some things you needed your girlfriends for. And maybe Alya had some growing to do….

But so do I.

If Adrien had forgiven her for everything she’d done to him…maybe she could forgive Alya.

She threw her arms around her friend. ‘Thank you, Alya.’

Alya hugged her back so tightly that it was hard to breathe. When she spoke, Marinette could hear sobs in her throat. ‘I’m so relieved you don’t hate me.’

The words were like knives. Whether it was Alya or Cat Noir…it seemed she had a talent for making the people she cared about think she hated them.

She pulled away indelicately and smiled through silent tears. ‘I could never hate you, Alya. I just…I have a lot to work through in my mind.’ That was putting it mildly.

Alya wiped her tears away with her sleeve. ‘I can accept that, Marinette. You take as long as you need. I’ll be right here for you when you’re ready.’

Marinette swallowed down a lump of emotion, then nodded and started walking again before she could start crying herself.

Alya fell into step beside her. ‘So….’ She cleared the feeling from her throat. ‘What are you going to do about…you know.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well. You broke up with Luka because it hurt him that you kept secrets – right? You’ll have the same problem with Adrien…so what are you going to do?’

‘I’m…not sure yet,’ Marinette said carefully. ‘To be honest, I hardly know how any of it’s going to work. Adrien’s not allowed out, most of the time, so dating isn’t going to be easy anyway.’ This wasn’t a complete lie. If they didn’t have their alter egos, when would they see each other outside of school?

An idea struck – a way to throw Alya off the scent, if she ever began to suspect who Adrien was.

She looked down at her ballet pumps as she walked. ‘Actually…I was thinking maybe, this time, I’d…tell him who I am.’

Alya gasped, her eyes large. Then she shook her head, apology on her face. ‘You’re right – I guess I never took your feelings for him as seriously as I should have. I mean, this is big, right? If you’re going to share something like that with him…you really are in love, aren’t you. Like me and Nino.’

Finally, something Marinette could be totally honest about. ‘I am, Alya. I truly am. And not with some brand name. Adrien’s more complicated than most people see. He’s more complicated than I used to see. But I’ve really got to know him over the months, and you know what? Underneath it all, he’s just a normal boy with a normal life.’

Alya laughed and shook her head. ‘Who would’ve thought?’ She threw an arm around Marinette’s shoulder, and Marinette laughed, her heart and shoulders feeling lighter than they had in days.

Chapter Text

That afternoon, Marinette battled to keep her eyes open as she did her homework.

Tikki sat beside her on the desk, her eyes drawn with worry. ‘It’s exhaustion. It was bound to hit you, after everything you’ve been through.’

Right. Exhaustion. ‘…maybe I’ll have an early dinner and…go to bed. Especially if I’m getting up again later….’

‘I think that’s a smart idea.’

With a sigh, she pushed aside her homework and staggered to her feet, popping open the hatch in her bedroom floor. It was a struggle just to force herself down the ladder – proving Tikki’s prognosis.

Downstairs, she foraged around the kitchen for something quick to eat.

Her father’s shadow consumed her. ‘You okay, pumpkin?’

‘Y-yeah. I’m just…I didn’t get much sleep, so I’m going to grab a bite now and…have an early night.’

His eyes widened with worry. Then he was flurrying around the kitchen, whipping something together and handing it to her in record time.

She blinked at his offering. ‘Wow.’

‘Can’t have you eating badly!’

‘Thanks.’ She sat at the table and ate. Just chewing felt like effort. It didn’t help that her father hung around, watching her, probably checking for signs of something seriously wrong.

When she’d finished, she put her dishes in the dishwasher, then leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Night, Papa.’

‘Night, sweetie.’

Going up the stairs was worse than going down. When she finally made it back to her room, she switched off the lights and climbed up to her bed, flopping down with a great yawn. Then she turned on her side, cuddling the cat pillow to her chest, her mind drifting on a sea of memories of that private lunch hour shared with Adrien in the school basement.

She’d hardly closed her eyes before her alarm went off.

Is it time for school already?

Impossible. It was dark out, the only light coming from the moon streaming through the roof window.

She fumbled for her phone and checked the time. 11:45pm. Memory hit her.

Adrien – the spyglass - the painting.

Rubbing her eyes, she dragged herself up so she was sitting. Tikki was on the pillow next to her, groaning in confusion. Funny how an abstract concept also needed rest.

‘Come on, Tikki. It’s time to go.’

‘I know, I know. But are you sure this is a good idea?’

She hadn’t actually told Tikki the plan – but she knew every detail anyway. Because every time Marinette was alone with Adrien…well, they weren’t really alone, were they. They were being watched and overheard at all times.

We might need to do something about that.

But what? They had to stick with their kwamis – to be prepared at all times to fight, if necessary.

Well – they’d have to think on that more later. ‘Tikki, spots on!’

Transformed, she stuffed the usual arrangement of pillows under her blanket, to make it look like she was sleeping if her parents came in and cast a casual glance at her. Then she smuggled herself out the roof hatch and was on her way, throwing her yo-yo and swinging from rooftop to rooftop until she reached Adrien’s bedroom window.

A memory flashed through her mind, of doing this very thing in order to deliver the gift that had led to the Cat Blanc incident.

And then another – of coming here to ask Adrien for the dog miraculous back, just before Felix took her yo-yo.

Was she doing the right thing, now? Or was she about to set off another terrible chain of events? How would she know?

She shook away these unhelpful thoughts and peered inside, her cheeks warming at what she saw – Adrien in bed, in pyjamas. He didn’t look much different from how looked during the day. But there was something about catching him like that, while he was asleep. It felt strangely intimate.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked. He jolted upright, not asleep after all, then scrambled off the bed to open the window and let her in.

So…this is his room…and I’m alone with him…at night…. She shivered.

‘It’s good to see you.’ His eyes seemed to glow in the dark as they roved over her.

‘Y-you too. Oh, um…spots off.’

Tikki popped out, a welcome distraction. Marinette tossed her a macaron.

‘Sugar cube!’ a voice cried. Plagg, clearly not worried about being overheard by the other occupants of the house, swept out of a cupboard with a chunk of cheese in his tiny hands.

Tikki rolled her eyes. ‘How many times have I told you not to call me that?’

Marinette couldn’t help but smile, despite her nerves. ‘I’m getting déja-vu.’

‘Why’s that, Bugaboo?’ Adrien’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

She play-punched his shoulder, the exchange strangely natural, even out of costume. ‘Alright, I’m here. Are we doing this?’

He nodded. ‘I watched my father go up to bed a few minutes ago. He’s unlikely to come out of his room again – but we should be careful, just in case.’

‘Maybe we could stay here and keep watch,’ Plagg suggested, glancing at Tikki.

Adrien narrowed his eyes at his kwami. ‘Are you trying to help, or do you just not want to come?’

Plagg appeared to consider which was the right response.

‘You’re coming with us.’ Adrien’s tone left no room for argument.

Plagg gave a hearty sigh. ‘But I’d just found the perfect piece of cheese.’

‘Take it with you. Let’s go.’ He opened his jacket for Plagg to fly into hiding.

Tikki flew into Marinette’s bag without being asked.

So, this was Cat Noir interacting with his kwami. They definitely didn’t have the same kind of relationship Marinette shared with Tikki – but it was clear as day that they were close in their own way.

Adrien slowly eased open his door until the gap was wide enough for them to slip out. A tiny gasp escaped her at his touch when he took her hand and led her down one of the winding staircases that led to his father’s workspace, and to the portrait.

In the few times she’d been in this room, she’d always thought the portrait incredibly romantic, a tribute to Gabriel’s late wife and the love of his life. A woman torn down in her prime by some inexplicable illness.

She’d read about it in the fashion magazines at the time, though it hadn’t taken on meaning until she’d met Adrien. It was just one of those stories that had happened to ‘someone else’, only as real as television. But for Emilie’s family and friends, it was realer than that. It was life.

A pang of compassion made her chest ache, and she squeezed Adrien’s hand.

He smiled and gave her a quick kiss before reaching into his pocket to retrieve the spyglass. ‘I have a confession. After we spoke…well, I couldn’t wait. I snuck in and looked at it when I got home earlier and my father wasn’t around. Look to the left of the portrait.’ He handed her the spyglass.

She lifted the strange object to her eye and looked where he’d indicated. Her breath caught as some of the ‘shards’ of paint jumped out at her, as if they were glowing.

‘What do you think it means?’ His tone was impossible to read.

‘I’m...not sure. But I wonder….’ On impulse, she reached for the painting, touched the places that stood out – and they sank under her fingers.

She suppressed a cry of surprise and stumbled backwards, right into Adrien, as she’d done at least a hundred times before. When she looked up at him, he’d gone white.

‘Do that again.’ For the first time since she’d known him, he sounded like his father.

‘O-okay.’ Righting herself, she returned her attention to the painting. She pushed at it like she was pushing buttons – and the floor dropped beneath them.

This time, she couldn’t mask her cry. She gripped Adrien’s shoulders, and he held her tightly as the platform they stood on sank down, down, down, like some kind of….

Secret lift.

She braved another look at Adrien’s face. ‘Did you know about this?’

He swallowed, his eyes full of unmasked fear. ‘No. But remember when Nino threw me that party and you snuck in as….’ He let out a strangled laugh, half genuine, half nerves.

‘As Marino – yes, yes – what about it?’

‘W-well…Nino mentioned that the house was generating massive amounts of power. I thought it was just because my father always has to have the biggest and the best – but maybe there’s something more. Something…down here.’

She followed his gaze out the glass walls of the lift. It came to a stop and the doors slid open automatically. They shared a look, then stepped out, holding hands. His trembled – maybe as badly as hers.

They were at the end of a long walkway, with water on either side. Part of the sewer system, perhaps? An underground canal diversion? It was hard to determine the geography.

At the end of the walkway was a garden – a platform – a kind of…box.

‘What is this place?’ Marinette breathed.

‘My father’s secret lair, I suppose.’ It might've been a joke, but...it didn’t feel funny.

She pressed his hand again and looked up at him. ‘Hey. This has turned out to be bigger than we expected. We can stop.’

He shook his head, his gaze fixed on whatever waited on the other side of the room. ‘No, we can’t. For so long, I’ve felt like my father was hiding something. Now we’ve found it. I have to know what it is.’ His voice was oddly calm, as if he’d just made his peace with death.

‘…okay. Well…when you’re ready.’

He stared down at her, a plea in his eyes – to help him move forward. She reached up with her face to kiss him. It still didn’t seem real – that she was the one who got to hold and kiss him.

When he kissed her back, it was hungry, drawing strength from her. Then he pulled away, a look of determination on his face. Hands clasped tightly together, they began the long walk down the runway.

Runway …. Just like all the runways Adrien had walked down before, as a model.

As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, they took in more of the surroundings. The garden was coming into focus – the flowers – the trees, wild and sprawling.

Something brushed past her face, and she shrieked before she could stop herself.

Adrien whirled around to inspect her. ‘Are you alright?’ His voice was urgent.

‘I’m fine. Just…a little on edge, I guess. What are these things flying around?’ She swatted at one.

‘They’re butterflies,’ Adrien made out, his voice choked.

Her stomach dropped. Butterflies. Her romantic side loved to imagine they shared thoughts all the time. But on this occasion, she was certain it was so. ‘Does…does your father have any special love of butterflies?’

‘Um. Actually, it…is part of the Gabriel logo. It’s even on my shoes.’ He lifted one foot just enough to show her. ‘And it’s…it’s all over the house.’

‘The...the floor tiles.’

He nodded, and a lock of blond hair fell softly across his forehead.

‘That’s…that’s quite an obsession.’

Neither of them finished that train of thought.

She glanced again at the object at the end of the runway – at the box. The shape was familiar…about the right size to hold a….

He followed her gaze. ‘I guess we’d…better find out what it is.’

Or maybe not. Maybe we turn back now and forget we saw anything.

But it was too late for that. He’d made up his mind.

She pressed his hand and they carried on down the runway. Adrien’s eyes looked haunted, like he was walking towards his fate.

Maybe he was.

More butterflies flitted around them, white as cloud. There were probably thousands of them. They didn’t seem evil. Maybe they started out innocently and they were transformed, just as children started life good and sweet and could be turned by outside forces.

…assuming she was right about what those butterflies were.

Please don’t let me be right.

When they hit the end of the runway, there was no denying what lay on the platform. Adrien released her hand and stepped towards the coffin as if he were sleepwalking. Perhaps it was instinct that drove him to touch the lid and find the button that opened the seal and revealed the transparent glass lid.

He went still as a statue, a beautiful doll posed and left on a shelf, waiting for someone to pick him up and give him life again.

She took a deep breath, then forced her legs to move, to join him – forced them not to run back the way they’d come, when she saw who was in the coffin.

Emilie Agreste looked as beautiful as she did in all the photos. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes closed, at peace. She didn’t look dead. More like Snow White waiting for her handsome prince to wake her up with a kiss of true love.

Adrien rested his hand on the glass, his eyes thick with tears. ‘Mother,’ he whispered.

Marinette’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment. This was a private moment. Maybe he wanted to be alone. She turned to go, to give him some space.

‘Please,’ he said without turning. ‘Don’t leave me.’

She swallowed. ‘Never.’ The words dried up there. What did you say to someone who’d just found their mother’s preserved body in a hidden basement? How did you comfort them when they’d just learned their father was the city’s number-one terrorist?

‘You know….’ He took a long breath, his shoulders shuddering as he released it. ‘I used to have this dream that the funeral was all an elaborate, messed up hoax. That she was still out there somewhere and she’d come back to us. Then I’d wake up and remember that was impossible – because I saw her coffin at the funeral.’

He gripped the sides of it. ‘It was this coffin, Marinette. She looked just like this. And now I know….’ His head dropped to his chest, his back hunched with grief.

Marinette finished his thought for him. ‘She’s been under your house all this time, and your father never told you.’

She thought he might cry, but instead, he balled his hand into a fist. When he twisted round to look at her, his expression was hard. ‘I know what Monarch wants the miraculous for.’

‘Okay, but – we don’t know for sure he’s your father.’

‘We do, Marinette. We do.’ All the fight had gone out of his voice. ‘He’s trying to bring my mother back, isn’t he. All of this –’ He lifted one elegant hand, gesturing at the butterflies that were swarming around them. ‘It’s all for her.’

Caressing the glass of the coffin, he stared down at his sleeping mother, frozen in time. And in a flash, Marinette understood.

I know how he got akumatised.

I know how our love could destroy the world.

And it’s too late to go back and change things.

She opened her mouth to say something – when a sound stopped her. It was the whirring sound of the lift.

With dread in her heart, she twisted round to see…to have her worst suspicions confirmed.

It was going up.

Because someone had called it.

Slowly, she met Adrien’s eyes again. They were large with horror.

‘My father,’ he choked out. ‘He’s coming.’

Chapter Text

My father doesn’t sleep all night. He doesn’t go on business trips. He doesn’t go anywhere I thought he did. He comes down here and terrorises all of Paris. We’ve all been living a lie – even him.

These thoughts and more flashed through Adrien’s head as he watched the glass lift make its swift journey back up, out of the underground lair, and to his father’s office. But there was no time to process them, no time to put them in order, because any second now, his father would be here, and then –

‘Marinette.’ He whipped around and gripped her shoulders tightly, staring hard into her frightened eyes – blue like the depths of the ocean down on the south coast, and just as easy to sink into. ‘You have to hide.’

Those eyes widened. ‘What about you?’

He shook his head. ‘He’ll know someone’s here – or at least was. Let it be me. I’m used to disappointing him.’ The words came without thought. His heart felt heavy in his chest.

Her mouth opened, but she didn’t say anything. Then that look crossed her face, the one she always got as Ladybug, when she was cooking up a scheme. She nodded and passed him back the eyepiece, as if he might need it. Then, without a word, she slipped away from him and nestled under the coffin, hidden away by foliage left there for the butterflies to drink of the flowers.

Spinning on his heel, he stuffed the eyepiece in his pocket and faced the lift just in time to see it descending, his father carried inside its glass walls. Maybe he should’ve been afraid…but he wasn’t. All he felt was relief. At last, they were going to have this out. Whatever happened, there would be honesty.

When the lift landed, the doors opened and his father stepped out in his usual posture, his body rigid and hands behind his back. Villains always hid their hands, didn’t they – at least on TV, they did. You never knew what they were really up to.

‘Adrien.’ His father’s voice filled the mausoleum, the syllables bouncing off the walls and finding their way into Adrien’s chest. It was hard to determine whether his name had been spoken as an admonishment or merely a greeting. Was he surprised to find him there? Angry?

It seemed to take an hour for him to walk down the runway. Then, before Adrien knew it, his father was before him, a mere metre feet away.

As close as we’ll ever be.

Adrien attempted to mimic his father’s pose. He held his hands behind his back, if only to keep from fidgeting. He lifted his chin high, meeting his father’s eyes with the steel of a cat engaged in a competition for dominance.

His father’s gaze was, for once, devoid of judgment. ‘So, you found her.’

Adrien willed himself to breathe and relaxed his shoulders a little. He refused to stammer his way through this, so he said nothing. His father probably wanted that, anyway. Children were better seen, not heard – and often, not seen either.

Then his father’s face contorted into something more unsettling than his general presence. His features seemed to soften, giving a glimpse of another man who lay just beneath the surface, shoved aside to make way for someone cold and hard.

His father looked past him, at the coffin. ‘I wanted to tell you for so long, but I could never think of the right way. You see…I promised your mother I would protect you. That’s why I wouldn’t let you attend school – and why I tried to send you away to London.’ He looked down at his immaculately polished shoes – then stared at Adrien. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you about any of this.’

Adrien remained silent and still. In a strange way…it sounded like his father was trying to say he cared about him. But what did it matter? What difference did it make when his father was Monarch?

‘I suppose you’re worried that I’m angry with you.’ His father gave a soft half-smile. ‘I’m not. It’s a weight off my mind not to have to lie to you anymore. But incidentally…how did you find this place?’

It was probably best to stick with the truth, as far as possible. ‘Felix left something behind, in your study.’ He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the eyepiece for his father to examine.

Thank you, Marinette, for thinking of everything – as usual.

When his father plucked it from his hand, the shock of that rare physical contact sent a chill down Adrien’s spine.

‘Interesting,’ his father said as he examined it. ‘So, not only did he figure out who I am, but he also likely came down here and saw your mother.’

A thousand questions rushed through Adrien’s mind. One made it through his lips. ‘Why?’

His father arched an eyebrow, perhaps grasping that this referred to everything. Why did Felix suspect him? Why did Felix give him the other miraculous? What was in it for him?

‘I should think it would be obvious, Adrien. I want your mother back.’ He said this like it made sense, like people resurrected the dead every day. Then he pushed past him, standing before the coffin.

Adrien sucked in a breath. Marinette was under there somewhere, but she’d tucked herself away well and didn’t make a sound.

Even while gazing at the body, his father’s pose was stoic – arrogant. ‘Once I obtain the black cat and ladybug miraculous, I can use them together – unify their powers. The black cat holds the power of destruction, and it will destroy this reality. The ladybug holds the power of creation, and it will create a new reality to replace this one, shaped by my wish – to bring back your mother.’

Adrien’s mouth dropped. Destroy this reality? Why had Master Fu and the kwamis never told them about this? Was it really possible that all of this could be erased and his mother brought back – just like that?

His father turned back to him, catching the emotions so plainly written on his face. His father’s expression was unusually easy to read, too. He was plotting something – a seduction of sorts. ‘Adrien. You want your mother back…don’t you?’

And there it was. Of course he wanted his mother back. But…. ‘That’s an unfair question.’

‘…how is it unfair? You suffered her loss just as much as I did…didn’t you?’

‘Of course I did,’ Adrien snapped, his blood heating with irritation.

‘And I seem to recall that on the day of her funeral, you wept and told me you'd do anything to get her back.’

He winced. He had said that. Any child would have. He tried to stick with the present. ‘You terrorise Paris, to get what you want.’

‘I wouldn’t have to, if Ladybug and her second-rate partner Cat Noir just gave me what I want.’

The insult stung, even if his father didn’t know what he was saying – or who he was saying it to.

Then again…he had no idea who he was saying it to. That was good. That was useful. Whatever he did, he had to maintain the part of ignorant Adrien Agreste – and second-rate Cat Noir.

‘You would leave the people alone, if you had the miraculous?’ Adrien asked in his most innocent voice.

‘Of course. I don’t truly mean anyone any harm. You might say I use others to get what I want – but only because if I went out and tried to get the miraculous myself, I could get caught, and then the plot would be over in a heartbeat. And I can’t accept that. I need these. I will get my wish, Adrien. And when I do….’ His fist clenched, his eyes seeming to see something that wasn’t there – as if he’d forgotten where he was.

‘…then what? Will any of us remember this reality?’

His father blinked at him. It was clear from his blank expression that he hadn’t considered this before. ‘I don’t know.’

He doesn’t know. He was tampering with magic he didn’t understand. A wish like that…a steep price would have to be paid. ‘How can you guarantee there won’t be consequences?’

A bemused smile tugged at the corners of his father’s mouth. ‘There will.’

Adrien suppressed a gasp. ‘You mean…you know?’

‘Of course. You found the grimoire in my safe, after all, didn’t you?’

Adrien sealed his lips shut. There was no right answer to such a question.

‘It’s no good playing coy with me, Adrien. You took the book from me and I told you I used it for inspiration for my designs. And in a way, that’s true. Just...not my fashion designs.’

A chill flurried down Adrien’s spine. He means designs for the world – for us.

His father gave a little sigh, like a man working under tremendous pressure. ‘It’s my fault for keeping so much from you for so long. Nathalie did urge me to tell you but…it never felt like the right time. I…probably should’ve listened to her.’

Adrien’s blood iced. ‘Nathalie is in on this? You mean….’ He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

‘Oh yes, she’s been with me since the beginning. And she’s been instrumental in decoding and translating the grimoire. She’s the reason I know that for every wish, the universe will balance itself out. If I bring back your mother, someone will have to go in her place.’ His voice was cool, devoid of emotion.

‘Did she…did she ever….?’

His father nodded, reading the question in his mind. ‘She used the peacock miraculous to become Mayura. I stopped her, however, when I saw what it was doing to her.’

Adrien stared in incomprehension.

‘It was broken, and whoever used it would break too. It drained her – permanently, I’m afraid. We’ve fixed it now, but the…the damage can’t be undone.’ His voice cracked and he glanced at the coffin.

The damage…. He didn’t mean…he couldn’t mean…. Adrien’s stomach twisted. ‘How…how did my mother die?’ The words came out almost in a whisper.

His father pursed his lips. ‘This has been going on longer than you realise.’

Because that wasn’t an answer, Adrien opened his mouth to push further, but his father held up a hand to stop him.

‘Enough. There’s time for questions later. Tonight, we have business together.’

Adrien swallowed, his head throbbing as though he’d just run into a literal wall. ‘…business?’

‘Mm. You and me, working together for a common goal – at last.’ His father’s angular face softened again and his head hung a little from its usual high position. ‘I’ve wanted this for a long time, Adrien. You don’t know how much it means to me that you will do this with me, from now on.’

Any sensible response went out of Adrien’s head. How many years had he longed for some form of genuine tenderness from his father? And now he was getting it – under these circumstances.

His father seemed to take his silence for acquiescence, because he started to walk past the coffin, into the darkness at the end of the mausoleum. The room seemed to be spinning, the colours pulsing in and out.

‘Father,’ Adrien called out.

He stopped. ‘Yes?’ he threw over his shoulder. Somehow that single syllable felt like a challenge. He was daring him to defy him.

‘I…I don’t want to do this.’

His father didn’t move. His stillness made the next few seconds feel like an eternity.

Then he turned around, his hands once again clasped behind his back and his chest pushed forward, his chin held high to demonstrate his authority. All signs of tenderness had vanished. He took three slow strides back towards Adrien and stopped a metre in front of him. ‘You don’t want to see your mother again.’

‘That’s…that’s not what I said.’

‘Well, that’s what it amounts to.’

Was it?

Adrien shook his head – shook away this manipulation. ‘That’s not what it amounts to. Father, you know I loved – love – my mother. And you’re right, there have been times when I’ve thought I would do anything to have her back. But not at the expense of the suffering of others.’

His father stared at him, as if sensing he had more to say.

He did. ‘You hurt people. You put people in danger every single day, and you make them afraid. I get that you’re doing it out of grief, but…that doesn’t justify it. I – I can’t be part of it.’ He halted there, his heart pounding, waiting for punishment. But it didn’t matter. Whatever his father threw at him, he’d take it.

Wearing a small smile, his father played with his wedding ring, something he did whenever he felt…nervous? Out of his depth? Was it him wishing Adrien’s mother was there to help him in those moments when he didn’t know what to do as a single father? Or....

‘Adrien.’ His voice sounded far away, as though all of this was a dream and his father was speaking to him through the mists of the subconscious. ‘You want your mother back. You want her back just as much as I do. And as much as you don’t want to admit it, you really would do anything to get that wish. It isn’t just my wish – it’s ours. That’s why we need to do this together. That’s why you want to do this with me.’

Adrien wanted to shout at him, Didn’t you listen to a word I said? You can’t justify this! But for some reason, his lips wouldn’t form the shape of the words, and the sounds were caught somewhere deep in his throat. Two words erupted from his mouth, in a voice he hardly recognised as his own. ‘Yes, Father.’

No! No, Father! I don’t want this! Why am I saying I do?

But whatever part of him was fighting off what was happening…it was locked away and chained up in mental shackles. It couldn’t move or make a sound.

His father’s smile broadened – a smile of wickedness and self-satisfaction, not of joy. ‘That’s better. I knew you’d come to your senses.’ He twisted the ring again. ‘Follow me. There’s a secret door back here, which leads into the sewer system and then to a second lift that brings us up to the dome.’

‘The…the dome?’

‘Mm. That’s where I do my most valuable work. Come on.’ He turned, leading the way.

Adrien remained in place. Then there was a tugging sensation, and his body was moving without his control. He was walking through the door and into the sewers, leaving Marinette behind, hidden beneath the coffin.

As he slipped into this new labyrinth, he could only hope she didn’t think any of this was what he wanted.

Chapter Text

Marinette’s heart pounded in her ears as she hid beneath the coffin, listening to Adrien talk to his father. Thoughts spun through her mind, as fast as the room seemed to be spinning.

Gabriel Agreste is Monarch.

He wants to end the whole of reality.

He wants to build it anew.

He wants to bring Adrien’s mother back from the dead.

He wants Adrien to help him do it.

From that vantage point, she could only really see Adrien’s legs. They trembled, but when he spoke, his voice was strong. ‘You hurt people. You put people in danger every single day, and you make them afraid. I get that you’re doing it out of grief, but…that doesn’t justify it. I – I can’t be part of it.’

Her heart swelled with pride for him. After all this time….

A memory flashed in her mind, of the day Risk showed up. Only earlier this week, but it felt like a lifetime ago. What was it Adrien had said? Something about feeling like there was a block in his mind, keeping him from speaking up to his father.

Yet there he was, saying everything that needed to be said.

Unable to help herself, she scrambled forward, just enough to see better. He was almost radioactive in his beauty.

A metre away, Gabriel was smiling, playing with his wedding ring. ‘Adrien. You want your mother back. You want her back just as much as I do. And as much as you don’t want to admit it, you really would do anything to get that wish. It isn’t just my wish – it’s ours. That’s why we need to do this together. That’s why you want to do this with me.’

The man was insane. Who did he think he was, trying to plant ideas in Adrien’s head like he was some kind of –

‘Yes, Father.’

Her mouth fell open. What?

Adrien’s expression had changed, all his former strength gone. His shoulders had dropped and his head hung lower. What was going on?

His father’s smile broadened – a cruel smile, like a villain in a fairytale. ‘That’s better. I knew you’d come to your senses.’ He touched his wedding ring again – twisted it. ‘Follow me. There’s a secret door back here, which leads into the sewer system and then to a second lift that brings us up to the dome.’

‘The…the dome?’

‘Mm. That’s where I do my most valuable work. Come on.’ He turned, leading the way.

Breathless, Marinette tucked herself back into the shadows, nestled in some sort of shrubbery, leaning against one of the trees – the kind she often saw in old churchyards. A yew, maybe. Beautiful and toxic, like Gabriel himself.

Adrien followed his father, his footsteps slow and robotic, as if he were sleepwalking or...under some sort of spell. Her hand itched to reach out, to grab him by the leg and pull him back – haul him into her arms and hold him tight, shielding him from whatever his father threw at him.

But…Adrien had just sacrificed himself for her. This was him shielding her. She couldn’t let his gesture be in vain.

She counted down in her head, all the way from fifty. Anything to keep the cry building in her throat from flying out, drawing attention. When she was certain Adrien and Gabriel weren’t coming back, she slipped out into the dim light again, leaning on the floor on all fours, gasping until she got her breath back.

Tikki flew out of her bag. ‘Wow.’

Wow was right.

Adrien. What was happening to him, now? Where had his father taken him? Was he hurting him? Or was Adrien just…going along with it all?

Is he still on my side?

A horrible thought - a stupid thought. Of course he was on her side. He didn't really agree with his father. He just - just -

She sat back, gripping her head, blinking until her vision cleared. ‘Tikki, what am I going to do? I mean…Adrien’s father is Monarch! All of this is about bringing his mother back. As the Guardian, am I really supposed to tell Adrien no, you can’t have your wish come true?’

Tikki’s eyes were drawn in sadness. ‘It’s horrible. You want to do the right thing, but….’

Marinette shook her head, her pigtails dusting her shoulders. ‘In some other timeline…did I force him to make a choice – me or his mother? Is that why he became Cat Blanc?’ Her eyes widened as a new thought struck her. ‘He was akumatised as Cat Noir, not Adrien. His father must’ve found out his secret identity…and used that against him….’

‘It makes sense to me,’ said Tikki in a small voice.

Her stomach twisted, her whole body feeling like a wet rag being wrung dry. ‘So how do I tell him that his own father is awful enough to use him like that?’

It was more than a question – it was a desperate plea.

‘I don’t even have proof! Just a memory I have of a future that will hopefully never – never happen.’ She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her head in her arms. ‘This is such a mess, Tikki!’

Tikki didn’t reply. What was there to say?

Maybe I should pass Guardianship over to Master Su-Han. I’m not cut out for this.

She felt Tikki land on her shoulder. ‘There’s more…isn’t there. Something important you’re…maybe afraid to talk about.’

Marinette looked up, her eyes swollen with the beginnings of tears. ‘Y-you mean the…the ring?’

Tikki nodded, her tiny arms hanging at her side. ‘Adrien is being controlled. There’s no doubt about it.’

A mental block…. At the time, she’d thought he was describing something like what she felt when she struggled to confess her feelings for him. But it was so much more. This wasn’t something he could dare to overcome. This was…this was….

‘But how is it even possible? How is any of this possible?’ She swept one of her hands out to indicate the mausoleum and everything else they’d been through. ‘It’s too much, Tikki. I wish….’ The rest of that thought was choked off in tears that wouldn’t yet fall – tears of anger.

The dam burst, words flooding out. ‘I was about to say I wish Master Fu were here – but you know what I really wish? That he’d never chosen me as Guardian. He didn’t even ask me. Never warned me that if I give it up, I lose all memory of Ladybug – you – Cat Noir. How is that a choice? I’m stuck with this role forever.

‘I’m only fourteen, Tikki! I should be worrying about school, not the fate of everyone in Paris! Not even just Paris, but the whole world, if Monarch's planning to erase this reality and replace it with a new one. Why is this my responsibility to deal with, Tikki? I have no one to delegate any of this to. Why is it up to me? Why?’

‘I…I don’t know.’ Tikki’s voice was as small as her body.

Marinette dragged her hands over her face. ‘All this time, I had no one to talk to about any of this, other than you. No one human. No one to relate to me about it. I spent all that time convinced Cat Noir and I couldn’t share our identities, because that’s what Master Fu kept telling us – but he was wrong. Adrien and I should’ve been able to share this from the beginning. It would’ve made us stronger, sooner. Not because he’s Adrien, but because there would’ve been that bond. We wouldn’t have had to deal with all of it alone. We would’ve had someone else out there to be honest with – just one person in the world we didn’t have to lie to and keep secrets from.’

Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself to her feet. ‘I trusted Fu – because he was the Guardian and that impressed me. But now I’m the Guardian, and I know how much of it is just making things up as you go along. It’s just a title, Tikki. It doesn’t mean you have the answers.

‘So I didn’t tell Cat Noir who I was, and I didn’t ask who he was. I couldn’t do things alone anymore, so I told Alya, and I don’t regret that – but I regret what followed. I was so relieved to have someone share everything with me that I got carried away and made some bad choices. The person I should’ve been sharing all of that with was Cat.’ Just saying his name made her heart break a little more.

‘I’ve f-forgiven Alya, because it felt good to let that go…but I can’t trust her with all of this. It’s not that she’s a bad person. She’s just…a normal teenage girl – something I’m not allowed to be m-myself. I don’t even know what normal looks like anymore, Tikki. The only one in the world who understands what I’m going through is Adrien. And he’s the one person it’s going to be the hardest to talk to about it – because we have just unveiled the biggest conflict of interest in history.’

Her voice had risen until she was almost yelling, her words echoing across the mausoleum, making the butterflies scatter to the other side, away from the raging giantess. Somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to care whether Gabriel had heard. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks.

Tikki hovered before her. ‘Marinette…I think you’re doing a great job as Guardian. In fact…I even think you’re doing better than Master Fu did.’

Marinette let out a sniffly snort of humourless laughter. ‘Yeah right.’

‘No, really. I don’t want to speak ill of the man, but…you think and feel in ways he never did. Think of how you handle using so many miraculous at once. Not just anyone can do that. Your strength of mind is rare, Marinette – and you’re uncommonly selfless. That’s why you care so deeply right now, and why all of this is hitting you so strongly. You’re wondering how you’ll cope with it all because, deep down, you already know that after you’ve let this out of your system, you’re going to leave this room and put everyone before yourself, just like you always do.’

When Marinette looked away, Tikki manoeuvred herself back into her line of vision. ‘Master Fu became the Guardian on accident. Probably the best thing he ever did was to protect what was left of the miraculous after his mistake, and to entrust them to you and Adrien. If he did nothing else right, he at least had good judgment about the two of you. He knew who would keep Paris – and indeed the whole world – safe…fourteen years old or not. You and Adrien…you’re special.’

Marinette stared blankly across the dark room, the tears running down her face – slower, though. A daring butterfly brushed her cheek, but she didn’t so much as flinch. She felt unreal, as though she existed in a dream and her body wasn’t hers.

Her eyes ran dry. It was hard to name any feelings inside. Her chest was hollow, her blood cool. All her emotion had run out with the tears. Now fully emptied, cold certainty settled in her mind.

Tikki was right. She was going to leave this room and carry on, just as she'd done more than a hundred times before. Because running wouldn’t help. The only way out of the situation was to deal with it.

‘Thanks, Tikki.’ She tried for a smile. ‘I’ll be alright. I always am. I have to be. I don't really get a choice, do I.’

Tikki frowned, like this wasn’t quite the confidence she’d been hoping to inspire.

Swallowing, Marinette turned in a slow circle, stepping closer to the coffin on the platform – gazing at Emilie Agreste’s ageless body – studying the woman’s face, trying to memorise every line and angle, every trait she'd passed down to her son. Maybe if she looked long enough, some of this would start to feel real.

So, this was the woman who’d brought Adrien into the world.

Thank you, Emilie.

She turned back to Tikki, dug around in her shoulder bag, and tossed her a macaron. ‘I hardly understand any of this – but it doesn’t really matter. Let’s get out of here before Monarch gets back.’ She may have resigned herself to having to fight him but…she wasn’t quite ready for that battle.

Chapter Text

As if they had their own will, Adrien’s legs moved him through the tunnels, passageways through the sewer system that lay beneath his home.

No, not home. It had never been that.

Ahead, his father led the way, navigating as though he made this journey every day. He probably did. Monarch had been attacking more frequently, lately.

They reached the end of a path – a large metal door, which his father opened easily, revealing what looked like another lift. Like the one that led from the mansion to the basement.

The dome, his father had said. This lift must take them up.

But where were they? His head was so foggy, it was hard to keep track of all the twists and turns they’d taken to get here. It was harder still to create a mental map and determine where the dome might be, aboveground. Somewhere next to the mansion but….

‘After you.’ His father indicated into the lift, a smile on his face, as if he were being polite. Really, he wasn’t taking any chances. If he went in first, that would give Adrien a chance to run, back the way he’d come or…somewhere. Somewhere with a manhole he could climb out, especially if he transformed into Cat Noir.

His father rubbed his wedding ring again. ‘I said…after you.’

Adrien’s legs were moving again, like he was a puppet being manoeuvred into the lift. His father followed him in, passing a hand over the control panel, sealing them in. Then they were moving, the platform they stood on rising up into the unknown.

There was that block again, so familiar and yet – stronger – like a physical wall in his mind, holding in all the words he wanted to say to his father as they stood side by side.

Marinette. Was she okay? Had she got away? What was she thinking? Was she disappointed with him? Did she hate him?

Tears formed in his eyes – tears he couldn’t shed in front of the man next to him. Instinct said he would use those tears – use them to hurt him even more.

New light made him blink until his eyes adjusted. The platform was pushing them up, into a domed room with grey walls as cold as the aura radiating off his father. Adrien put out his arms for balance before he could topple over as they came to a stop, the platform now flush with the floor.

His father didn’t so much as wobble. He stepped away, crossing the room and turning back to him, an expectant smile on his face. He was waiting to see what Adrien would do.

Swallowing, Adrien let his gaze circle the room, landing on the only real feature – a kind of metal candelabra hung with high-tech cages arranged like a zodiac – display cages, to make it clear his father was in full control.

And within the cages were –

He staggered backwards, his breath short. It was the first time he’d seen all the kwamis in person. In those rare visits Master Fu had made to his house, posing as an alternate Chinese tutor, he’d never shown him the extent of the miracle box. And events had moved so quickly that there had been no time for Marinette to share it with him.

There were so many, all wearing the same look of desperation – and fear. They were afraid of him. Most of them didn’t know he was Cat Noir. They didn’t know what he would do.

Four cages remained empty – waiting. He took mental stock, working out who was missing. The cat, the ladybug, the peacock…and the bee.

Adrien felt Plagg stir inside his shirt. He patted the fabric, partly to reassure his kwami and partly to make him stay still. They couldn’t give away their own secrets. The last thing he wanted was to add another prize to his father’s collection.

His father was still watching him, waiting for some reaction. But what was the correct thing to say? He needed to express just the right degree of shock – which was easy, not because he hadn’t seen a kwami before, as his father thought, but because he couldn’t believe how thin and weak they all looked. Whenever he’d met some of them before, they’d been so lively. But in that place of shadow, they’d been stripped of all their vitality.

He summoned his most innocent voice. ‘To give the holders those kinds of powers…shouldn’t these…kwamis, did you call them?’

His father nodded, his eyes the ice blue of water trapped under the Arctic.

‘R-right. Shouldn’t they be…I don’t know….’ He shrugged as casually as he could. ‘…stronger looking?’

His father smiled, a glint in his eyes that made Adrien shiver. ‘I don’t feed them.’

Adrien’s mouth fell open – then he slammed it shut, forcing himself to look only mildly interested. ‘They need feeding? Like animals?’

‘Not exactly. Don’t make the mistake of confusing these creatures with living beings like you or me. Kwamis are more like…elementals. They’re the embodiment of different energies and forces in the universe. And there are more out there beyond the ones previously contained in the miracle box I gained access to.’ He said this with hunger. If he could get his hands on others, he would.

Just how much of this is about my mother anymore? ‘Sooo…these are just the ones some Chinese monks…channelled, I guess?’

His father looked at him sharply. ‘How do you know about the monks?’

‘Oh, uh….’ He scratched his head. ‘I remember the news – about that Tibetan temple that mysteriously reappeared after going missing for, like, two hundred years or something. It was right at the time that some kind of…was it called a…sentimonster? It came out of the museum. And…that book I took from you had a lot of Chinese-looking illustrations.’ He gave his most charming smile, the one he’d flashed at a thousand cameras over the years. ‘I’m just throwing things together as I think of them. Am I...on the right track?’

His heart was still as he waited for his father to respond. His interest was sincere. This was more information than Master Fu had ever given him.

His father’s features softened and he smiled. ‘You’re a bright boy.’

Brighter than you think. Yet his traitorous heart swelled with gratitude for his father’s praise. It was one of the nicest things he’d ever said to him.

‘Yes, you’re on the right track.’ His father clasped his hands behind his back, examining the kwamis with the pride of a collector.

The Collector. His father had akumatised himself, before. That was the kind of man he was dealing with.

Adrien tried to return things to the previous line of conversation. ‘So you’re telling me they aren’t alive.’

His father nodded. ‘So you shouldn’t feel sympathy for them. They don’t suffer the way a real animal would. They won’t die if I don’t feed them. Think of them like cars. Food is their fuel, that’s all. I feed them when I need them. When they’re not needed, I let them run down their energy and wait here until they’re of use to me. That way, they can’t escape. On full strength, they could leave whenever they wished.’

Adrien swallowed. It was true that Plagg wasn’t exactly like an animal – but the rest of what his father was saying was untrue. Elementals or not, this was torture. ‘What…what do you do with them?’

‘I use their power as it suits me. Sometimes I use them myself. Sometimes I give them to those I’ve akumatised – to enhance their powers.’

Like the Paralyser. He must’ve used Pollen. ‘I see some of the cages are empty.’

His father gritted his teeth. ‘Indeed. There are a few I haven’t yet managed to obtain. Then that pesky bug and her idiot lap-cat managed to get one back.’

That lap-cat may not be the idiot that you think, Father.

Adrien choked down the retort, turning back to the kwamis, his gaze drawn to Sass – the snake. He’d used that power before. Apart from Plagg and Tikki, Sass was the only one who really knew who he was, and he was staring back at him intently, as if questioning why Adrien was there with that monster.

He tried to send a message back without words.

I don’t want to be. I promise I didn’t know about any of this. I’m on your side.

The look Sass gave him suggested the message wasn’t getting through.

His father turned to him. ‘Now that you’ll be by my side, working with me, we can’t lose. You too will get to use the powers you see here. You’ll be stronger than you ever thought possible – and together, we will bring your mother back.’ These last words were spoken almost as an afterthought.

Adrien forced that photo smile back on his face. ‘Can’t wait.’ Words that probably weren’t helping to reassure any of the poor creatures in those cages.

His father smiled. ‘Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to. I’m actually meant to be in a video meeting in fifteen minutes. I’ll take you back into the house.’

‘R-right.’ How was it possible that his father was carrying on a normal job alongside all of…this?

This time of his own volition, he followed his father back to the platform, his eyes locked on Sass’s as the lift took him down into the sewer system beneath the mansion.

With his mind clear, he focused on the journey, committing its twists and turns to memory, drawing a map in his head. Back in the basement, he held his breath as they passed his mother’s coffin – not just because of her, but because of Marinette.

Please let her have escaped already.

Please don’t let her be upset with me.

One more lift took them up into his father’s study. Returning was like coming back from the Underworld. The room looked different, as if he were seeing it for the first time. How could all that have lain beneath his feet the whole time?

His father took up his usual place at his podium, his workstation, Adrien already forgotten – dismissed. For once, it didn’t hurt to be ignored.

He hurried out the door, up the stairs, and to his bedroom, where he threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his head a whirlwind of thoughts. He could hardly feel his body. Each time he blinked, he saw it again – the basement – his mother’s body – the dome.

The kwamis.

Plagg flew out, sitting on the pillow beside him, silent and too stunned even for cheese.

‘What am I going to do, Plagg?’ His voice sounded as dead as his mother was supposed to be.

‘I don’t know.’ Plagg sounded just as flat.

‘Marinette must’ve heard everything – right down to me agreeing to go with my father. By now, Sass will have told the other kwamis who I am. Everyone must think I’m a traitor.’ He rolled onto his side, facing Plagg, and gave a heavy sigh that failed to release any of the weight that had settled in his chest. ‘It’s just as well. Cat Noir is officially dead and gone, too.’

Plagg’s eyes widened in lurid green horror. ‘Why?’

‘Because my father will want me by his side every time he akumatises anyone – and that means I can’t be there for Ladybug anymore. My father isn’t stupid, Plagg. He’ll notice Cat Noir is missing from every battle and wonder what happened. If we want to keep him off the scent, I...I have no choice but to make Cat Noir quit – very publicly – and send you to a new holder so Ladybug has someone to help her. I mean…do you see any alternative?’

Plagg was silent again.

‘Right. Meanwhile, I’m going to be using the other miraculous in ways I don’t want. And even if it’s all against my will…there’s no getting around the fact that it’ll be me doing the awful things I’m made to do. There’s no way anyone can forgive me. I w-won’t be able to forgive myself. I don’t…I don’t know how Marinette will ever be able to look me in the eyes again.’ His voice cracked.

‘Adrien –’

He rolled onto his other side. Mercifully, Plagg seemed to accept that meant the conversation was over – for now. Adrien could hear him let out a breath, then fly across the room, to where he kept his cheese collection. Comfort eating.

Adrien wrapped his arms around himself, drawing his knees into his chest and squeezing his eyes shut, his heart throbbing with the real problem – the thing he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.

That his father was right. His soul ached to have his mother back.

Chapter Text

When her alarm went off the next morning, Marinette woke up groggier than usual. As if she’d been up all night or…had some sort of nightmare that was just on the tip of her memory.

It was while she was washing her hair that the events of the night before filled her mind with startling clarity. She screamed before she could hold back the sound, then steadied herself against the shower wall, her breath coming in sharp pants.

Adrien.

His father.

Monarch.

A banging sound on the bathroom door made her jump again, almost slipping on the water.

‘Are you alright?’ her father’s disembodied voice demanded.

No. I’ll never be alright again.

‘…yeah! Yeah, I’m f-fine. I just…saw a spider!’ She tried to laugh, the way she always did when she was playing the part of Marinette the Goofy Klutz. Adrien wasn’t the only one acting out characters in life. Would anyone even believe her if she admitted that she of all people was the ultra-clever, ultra-slick Ladybug?

‘…well, alright. Be careful in there, pumpkin.’

‘Y-yeah, I…I will. Thanks for checking on me!’

Letting out a breath, she finished her shower, got dressed, then returned to her room. She sat at her vanity, staring blankly into the mirror as she brushed her dark hair and put it into fresh pigtails for the day.

‘That was real,’ she said to her reflection.

Tikki flew into the image. ‘I know.’

‘I thought maybe it was just an awful dream, but….’

‘I know.’

Having someone else confirm it…. She really wasn’t imagining things. She wasn’t crazy.

How she wished she was just crazy.

Shoes on and bag slung over her shoulder, she plodded down to the kitchen, to the bakery, to the front door.

Her father stopped her. ‘You’re sure you’re okay?’

‘…positive, Papa.’ She forced a smile she didn’t feel.

He frowned, unconvinced, and handed her a croissant. ‘You were about to walk out without breakfast.’

‘Oh.’ She stared at the pastry – then remembered she was supposed to eat it. ‘Thanks.’ She took it from him and headed out the door, stuffing the croissant into her mouth without thought, her mind preoccupied with bigger things than her stomach.

She stopped at the crossing, seeing the basement again – seeing Emilie’s body – seeing Adrien walk mindlessly through a door to…who even knew where.

The light changed, and she crossed the road.

How was she supposed to face him again, after what had happened? What should she say? What should she do?

Another bite of croissant – another thought – another problem. Then somehow, she was at school with no recollection of the journey. It was a wonder that she hadn’t walked into traffic.

Maybe that was how Adrien felt, his legs making him follow his father while his mind was somewhere else.

Alya was waiting for her at the school entrance. ‘Girl. I missed you. I thought we were okay again, but you didn’t return my messages last night.’ Her voice was plaintive – worried. Like she thought maybe Marinette had decided she hated her after all.

But she didn’t hate her. She just hadn’t looked at her phone since she went to bed yesterday. She’d been too dazed.

She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at her feet. ‘Sorry, I….’ What? How the hell did she even finish that sentence?

Alya put a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to meet her eyes. ‘Hey. I think I get it.’

‘Y-you do?’

‘Mm-hm. You told me you need some space, didn’t you? I guess I haven’t really been giving it. And you have a lot going on, with all the…you-know-what.’

Marinette smiled – just a little. ‘Thanks, Alya. You’re right. There’s a lot going on, and…I just can’t involve you in it. I can’t even tell you why I can’t involve you. It’s…it’s not safe for anyone.’

Alya’s eyes widened. ‘You mean something big’s going down?’

‘Alya.’ Marinette sighed with frustration. ‘This isn’t some big scoop for your Ladyblog. This is my life. Remember?’

Her friend winced and dropped her hand. ‘Yes. I’m sorry.’

‘Marinette!’ Adrien’s voice called from behind them. He sounded breathless – eager.

Her heart was loud in her ears. After the strange way they’d been separated, her body went rigid, the memory of last night playing in her mind yet again.

Alya had her reporter’s face on again. But maybe she was just concerned. ‘Are you two okay?’ she whispered. ‘I mean, it’s only been a day….’

Marinette chewed on her lip. She couldn’t get into this with her. The way she was feeling, she just might end up telling Alya everything.

Time to put on a show. Maybe this was how Adrien felt.

To quell her friend’s suspicions, Marinette whirled around just in time to collide with Adrien. Before he could speak, she grabbed his face and kissed him hard, then released him and flashed her biggest smile. ‘Adrien – it’s so good to see you again!’ She threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

At first, he didn’t respond. It was usually him who made these displays of enthusiasm. Then she felt his arms slide around her and hold her just as tightly. In fact, it was good to see him – to feel him – to smell him. To share this space with him after losing him in the darkness.

‘Riiiight,’ said Alya. ‘I’m gonna go find Nino and leave you two lovebirds alone.’

Please. Please, everyone, just go away.

Adrien drew back and looked down into her eyes. His emerald gaze seemed to speak to her – it said he wanted to be alone with her too.

Without a word, they held hands and dodged their fellow students, making their way through the school and slipping down the stairs into the basement, classes forgotten. Some things were more important.

It’s not like I had much of an attendance record anyway.

Adrien dropped her hand and turned on his phone’s torchlight, then set it on the floor so they could see each other a little. ‘Are you okay?’

‘No. Are you?’

He ran his long fingers through his golden curls, hazel in that dim light. ‘You know how much I hate liars – so I’m going to be honest with you here. Brutally honest. Okay?’

She swallowed, her nerves buzzing like wasps. ‘O-okay.’ Why was he being so hesitant? What was going on in that beautiful head?

He sat on the cold floor, and she sat across from him, close enough for them to hold hands but…they didn’t. The weight of the night before settled between them.

‘So…I don’t really know how to say this but….’ He glanced away, as if searching for strength in the corner of the basement.

Another basement.

‘Adrien…whatever you have to say, just say it.’ Anything to get this over with.

He turned back to her, his expression grim. ‘My father has the kwamis in these cages, and he’s starving them to keep them weak so they won’t escape.’

She threw her hand to her mouth, stifling a horrified gasp. Whatever she’d expected him to say…that wasn’t it.

‘I know. And there’s more. He expects me to help him from now on.’

‘But – you can’t!’

‘Don’t you –’ He sealed his lips and drew back, as if he’d just heard his own tone, angry in a way she only associated with Cat Noir. He closed his eyes as he took a breath – then released it, opening his eyes again. ‘Don’t you think I know that? But what am I meant to do, Marinette? If I object too much, he’ll….’

An image lightning-bolted through her head. ‘He’ll twist his ring and make you do it.’

His eyes rounded, almost glowing in the dim. ‘W-what?’

‘That’s what he’s been doing all this time. He’s controlling you with his wedding band. That’s the block you’ve been feeling, every time you try to speak your mind.’

He stared at her, the silence so thick that she could hear the clicks and groans of the plumbing in the walls surrounding them.

Then he shook his head. ‘No. No, you’re wrong. My father is a lot of things, but he’s not using mind control. That’s crazy, Marinette.’ That Cat Noir temper was showing through, again. But he’d take away the idea and process it in his own time, then come back to her. He always did.

He slumped back against the wall, looking so small and fragile. Her arms itched to hold him. She longed to reassure him that everything would be alright.

But she didn’t believe it herself.

He stared at his right hand. ‘Speaking of rings….’ His voice was dull with…maybe resignation.

She read the thought in his mind. Maybe it was the connection they shared – or maybe it was because he’d done this so many times before, in fits of passion or regret. ‘You’re going to give up your miraculous.’

‘I…I don’t know what else I can do. If he wants me at his side, it’s only a matter of time before he works out who I am. I need an exit story, so you can give Plagg to a new holder.’

She shook her head, pressure building at the backs of her eyes. How was this all happening – and so fast? ‘I don’t want a new Cat Noir. I want you.’

His mouth curved into a soft smile, reaching for her across the gulf between them, so small and yet it felt so large. He took her hands, rubbing gentle circles around her knuckles. ‘I want that too. I just...I don’t know what else to do here.’

We could get that wedding ring off his father.

Wait. ‘What about Felix? How did he get away?’

Adrien arched an eyebrow. ‘After everything he did, you want to ask him for help?’

It was a fair question. Except…. ‘I don’t think he did what he did because he likes your father. Remember all those other times he visited you and tried to take something?’ A...ring, in fact.

‘Right. When my father obviously akumatised himself, just to throw us off the scent.’ His tone was bitter.

‘Y-yeah. The point is…Felix wanted something from him – something important. We need to know what it was – and if your father has a weakness we can exploit. Can you call him?’

‘I can try. But Marinette….’ He released her and stared down at his hands. ‘This…isn’t like our normal plans. This is….’

‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘It’s about your mother. And it’s your father. I know.’

‘I don’t think you really do.’ He looked up at her under his thick eyelashes. ‘You grew up with a loving normal family. You’ve never been through what I have. You have no idea what this feels like.’ Again, he spoke with the kind of fire she was more used to from Cat Noir.

‘Y-you’re right. I don’t.’

Her honesty seemed to mollify him. ‘I can’t just take down my father, Marinette. This isn’t Star Wars. It’s my life.’

There really wasn’t anything to say to that. Without holding him, the gulf was stretching out between them again. Maybe he sensed it too.

He dragged a hand over his face. ‘There’s a lot going on in my head – and I’m having trouble making sense of it all. But the most important thing to me is that you and I are okay. I’m probably going to end up doing a lot of things you won’t like – things I won’t like either. I’m going to turn traitor here.’

‘I won’t be upset with you.’

He shook his head. ‘You will. You won’t be able to help it. Whatever happens…it’s going to change us. And I want to make sure you know now...before it all happens...that I love you, Marinette. Really and truly, I love you more than I’ve loved anyone, and I always will.’

‘I – I love you too, Adrien,’ she whispered, silent tears running down her cheeks.

Before she could prepare herself, he pulled off his ring and handed it to her, Plagg squealing as he was drawn into the miraculous. ‘I renounce this,’ Adrien said in a dead voice. ‘I know you’ll entrust it to someone worthy. Luka, maybe.’

Marinette stared down at the ring in her palm – such a small thing. You’d never guess what power it held. ‘I don’t…I don’t think I can give it to anyone.’

‘Then just keep it safe.’ His voice was tight.

She nodded but didn’t reply. After all, they both knew she’d failed to keep that vow the last time.

‘O-one more thing.’ His voice cracked, like he was about to deliver the biggest bombshell at all and wasn’t happy about it.

How much more could she take?

‘It’s…not safe for our relationship to become too public, now that we know who…who Monarch is. He might hurt you in some way – or drag you into this, too. And where would we be with no Ladybug?’

Every word he spoke made perfect sense. Yet, she didn’t want sense, didn’t want logic and responsibility. She was supposed to be following her heart, for a change. Their roles seemed to have reversed overnight.

‘I mean it, Marinette. You’re too important.’

‘So are you.’

He gave her a sad smile. ‘Not as important as you. You’re the only one who can purify the akumas and restore the damage my father causes – the damage I might cause.’

She winced. How, how was this happening?

‘Oh, Marinette.’ He scooted closer, drawing her into his arms and holding her as she broke, a fresh wave of tears soaking his shirt. His hand moved in slow circles on her back, and she clung to him in return.

If only she could keep him with her, away from the mansion, away from danger. Because when they parted for the day, she’d lose him. She’d lose him again to his father – maybe forever.

As she cried, he told her the rest of his plan. It was perfect – just like he was – and she hated it. Then the bell rang, an indication that she’d been sobbing into his shoulder for at least a half hour.

She drew out of his embrace, wiping her eyes, unable to look at him. ‘We should…get to class.’

‘Marinette –’

‘No, it’s okay. I’m – I’m fine. I just…needed to get it out of my system, that’s all.’

He frowned at her, then sighed. ‘Okay.’ He stood, using the wall as leverage, then reached down for her, helping her to her feet.

Keeping his arm around her, he guided her out of the basement, switching off his torchlight and checking the hallway before they snuck out. They walked like zombies to their classes. There would be detention but…what did it matter anymore?

Outside her classroom door, he gazed into her eyes – then kissed her hard, ignoring the looks they got from fellow students rushing past. Something about it felt like goodbye, but…it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Wasn’t he the one who was supposed to reassure her that they’d get through this? That everything would be okay? How could she be expected carry on if he’d lost all his faith?

Then he turned, parting from her, leaving her to join her class – to pretend she was a normal girl with a normal life.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Even at lunch, Marinette played with her food, very little of it making it into her mouth. It was hard to have an appetite when everything was crashing down around her – again. She walked from class to class as if in a dream. And in the lessons she shared with Adrien, each time he caught her eye, she looked away, not trusting her emotions to behave themselves.

When the school day concluded, he grabbed her at the exit, giving her a fierce hug and whispering in her ear. ‘We’ll get through this. We always do. You and me against the world, remember?’ The optimism, the reassurance she’d longed for in the basement.

She held him tighter, trying not to cry into his shoulder a second time.

Then he was gone, hurrying to the car waiting for him at the bottom of the staircase that led out of their school.

She stood at the top of the steps, their classmates giving her a wide berth as if they sensed she needed space.

Someone touched her shoulder. Alya. ‘Hey. Wanna go somewhere and talk?’

Marinette took a long, deep breath and nodded. ‘Somewhere really private.’ Her voice was small and choked.

Alya lifted her brow. ‘Okay, I – I know a place.’

They ended up in an unpopulated area down by the river, where they sat together and stared at the water silence, until Marinette finally forced words out of her throat.

‘Adrien’s father is making this relationship harder than I thought he would.’ It was the truth, even if incomplete.

‘I thought that might be the case, but…wow. That was fast.’

‘It was.’ Marinette hugged her knees to her chest, focusing on the way the light reflected off the water in slivers.

‘So…what does that mean for you and Adrien?’

She didn’t trust herself to speak.

‘No. Don’t tell me you broke up. It’s only been a day, hasn’t it?’

‘We didn’t break up. At least…I don’t think we did. We just…agreed that…we can’t really spend time together, so….’ Now that the words were coming out, the implications were striking her with full force. ‘Oh god, Alya…we’re as good as broken up, aren’t we?’ She buried her face in her arms, the tears coming again.

Alya’s arm went around her, drawing her in close for a hug. She fell into her friend’s chest as she cried. It was different, crying with Alya. There was no need to feel guilty for adding to someone’s burdens. After all…whatever pain she felt, Adrien felt it too – maybe even more.

‘Shh.’ Alya stroked her hair. ‘I’m sure you’ll find a way to put it right. Mr Agreste can’t control Adrien for the rest of his life.’

The memory of Gabriel twisting that wedding band danced in Marinette’s mind, sending a cold shiver down her spine.

She shuddered and pulled away to wipe her eyes with the sleeves of her jacket. Alya fumbled through her hip bag and handed her a tissue.

Marinette took it with a grateful half-smile. ‘I’m sorry. It’s n-not just about Adrien. It’s – it’s the timing.’

‘…you mean with everything else that’s happened. I bet it feels like it’s just one thing after another, and what else could go wrong.’

Marinette swallowed. ‘Actually…something else did go wrong.’ She stopped there, terrified to say the words she’d mentally rehearsed so many times during the school day. Once they were out, this would all be real. There would be no going back.

Alya pressed her hand. ‘What is it?’

Marinette took another one of those long deep breaths, to stop the tears from flowing, then glanced around to make absolutely certain there was no one watching. ‘Tikki, spots on.’ Her transformation came without pomp. ‘I need you to film me for the Ladyblog.’

‘…right now?’

She gave a jerky nod.

‘I thought you wanted me to give that a rest.’

‘Not this time. This is important.’

Her friend stared at her – then took out her phone. ‘Alright. But M…Ladybug…what’s this all about?’

‘Just film me – please.’ Before I lose my nerve.

Alya frowned, then held up her phone, her forehead furrowed in concern. ‘Okay, it’s recording.’

Right. I can do this.

She lifted her chin, forcing herself to look bold. ‘I - I have an announcement to make. I want all of Paris to know it. You deserve to know it.’ Her gaze dropped to her hands, willing the words to come.

Swallowing, she faced the camera again. ‘Cat Noir….’ She stumbled over a sob that she fought back down her throat. ‘Cat Noir has had to resign.’

Alya gasped, the camera shaking.

Ladybug hurried on with the story Adrien had suggested. ‘He’s been diagnosed with a chronic illness that we’ve agreed makes it impossible for him to safely carry out his duties as protector of Paris. And so it is with immense regret that I must inform you that he will no longer be fighting by my side. Your dynamic duo is…finished.’

She couldn’t hold it in any longer. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed. Let Paris see me cry.

The camera continued to film for several seconds until Alya cut it off and rushed over to hold her once more.

Chapter Text

PART TWO

‘Ugh, what a day.’ Adrien flopped back onto his bed after school, his arms splayed out at his sides. Exhaustion weighed on his chest, pushing him into the bedding, his head heavy with unwanted thoughts.

When there was no reply, he sat up and looked to the cheese cupboard. ‘Plagg?’

Memory clasped his heart with cold hands.

He’d given the ring to Marinette.

He hadn’t just given up being Cat Noir. He’d given up his closest companion of nearly a year – his one active ally in the house.

Grief made him lie back down, staring at the ceiling, his gaze tracing the path of a faint crack in the paintwork.

Plagg. He was gone. Not forever, of course, but –

What if it was forever?

He swallowed. Had he been too hasty? Sometimes his emotions swept him away. Too many times, he’d nearly made a life-changing choice in a fit of passion – and shaken with horror at the idea, after.

‘Not this time,’ he said – aloud, to break up the silence engulfing him in that too-big room. ‘Quitting was the only way.’

A tiny voice of doubt spoke up in his mind. Is that true? Were there really no other options?

Well, there was Marinette’s suggestion that he call Felix….

Marinette.

His heart hurt at the thought of her – of how small she’d felt in his arms as he’d held her in the school basement while she cried. Cried because of him, because of his decision, his plan. Nothing had really happened yet, and he was already letting her down.

Longing made him sit up again, digging in his pocket for his phone. His fingers hovered over the on-screen keyboard. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but…what?

He started typing things – then erased them.

‘My room feels huge and empty without Plagg. I’d forgotten how silent and lonely it can be in here.’

‘None of this feels real. How can any of it be my life?’

He couldn’t send any of that. She would likely try to give him back the ring, and he’d be tempted to take it back – and that was impossible. Worse, he might trigger another conversation about what had happened and be forced even more to accept the possibility that his father was keeping his mother in the basement and a bunch of kwamis hostage in a secret lair.

With a groan, he typed the only thing he could.

Adrien: Thinking of you.

Then he pulled up Felix’s number, listening to the phone ring and ring as he stared around his room at the walls of video games, the arcade pieces, the babyfoot table, the basketball hoop, the under-floor piano…everything a boy could ask for, except for love.

The phone went to voicemail and Adrien left a message. It was unlikely his cousin would return his call anytime soon. The last time Felix had called him was….

Adrien scratched his head, trying to remember. Never?

He thought back to when they were younger – when Felix would come to visit with his parents and they’d all spend a long weekend together as a family. A word that hardly made sense anymore.

‘Felix is so spirited,’ Adrien’s mother had once commented. It sounded like a polite way of saying he was a troublemaker.

It was much more diplomatic than the way Felix’s father described him. The word ‘monster’ had been bandied around too many times to count, before illness took the man out of their world, just as it had taken Adrien’s mother.

Only…she’s still here. She’s cryogenically frozen in a high-tech coffin, under the mansion – maybe under my feet.

He stuffed his phone in his pocket and scooted back on the bed until he hit the frame. Then he drew his knees up to his chest, holding himself as he trembled.

Felix might have been a troublemaker – and even done some questionable things, since his father died – but he’d never seemed outright cruel. Marinette was right. There had to be a reason for what he’d done.

A memory came to him, of that time when they were about ten and Felix had first discovered magic. They’d just come back from a show at the theatre, and he’d talked like a boy possessed by the notion of conjuring objects out of thin air – particularly anything living, like rabbits or birds.

‘Where do they come from?’ Felix asked over the dinner table.

‘Behind the curtain,’ said Felix’s father – a large man with a heavy American accent, broad shoulders and a square jaw, who looked nothing like his son.

‘No – I’m talking about real magic. Where do real magicians get their pets from? Is there a special world they exist in before they come to ours? And once they’re here...is that it? Or can you get rid of them?’

‘Get rid of them?’ Adrien asked. It was difficult to follow his cousin’s train of thought.

‘You know – when the show is over. Do they just go away? Or do they die?’

‘Really, Felix,’ his mother said, her gaze flickering to her husband. ‘Do you have to be so morbid?’

Felix stared back at her – then at his father. His shoulders shrank, as if he were growing smaller under the man’s gaze. ‘I just want to understand, that’s all. If you magic away a rabbit, does it know it’s gone?’

Even now, Adrien could still hear his cousin’s question in his mind, as loud and clear as if he were in the room with him. Could still hear the quaver in his voice – the passion behind the words. Could remember that sense that Felix hadn’t really been asking about rabbits and birds. He’d been distressed about something – something he couldn’t say directly.

Adrien lifted his head, gazing blankly at his room. So much there, yet nothing he felt like doing. He'd never been so bored, and he’d probably only been home ten minutes.

Using all his strength, he heaved himself up off the bed and left the room, making his way to Nathalie. The last couple days, he’d peered in at her, watching her sleep, trying to send her some healing energy with his mind – if there really was such a thing.

Maybe there was – because this time, she was awake, sitting up in the bed and reading a book.

He doubled back towards the doorway. ‘S-sorry. I didn’t even knock. I thought you’d be asleep and I didn’t want to….’

She smiled at him. ‘It’s okay, Adrien. You can come in.’

He hesitated in the doorframe. Nathalie was his father’s assistant – a work partner, technically. But the relationship had changed over the last year…and she certainly looked like she welcomed his company now.

Shutting the door behind him, he sat in the wooden chair positioned beside her bed. Someone had been in here before – his father, presumably. The thought of running into him sent a shiver down his spine.

He sat with his hands folded in his lap and his back straight from years of training in modelling and manners. ‘H-how are you?’

She placed a bookmark in her book and set it aside. ‘Not my best…but I’m better than I was on the train. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.’

Adrien blinked at her, trying to think what she meant – then remembered she didn’t know that was Felix on the train.

My father didn’t tell her?

Before he could correct her misunderstanding, she said, ‘I hear the tour is cancelled. Lila is still in London, but she should be back soon.’

He shuddered at the name. ‘I’d sort of forgotten about her.’

Nathalie smiled again. ‘You don’t like her?’

‘I don’t like liars.’

She pursed her lips, her eyes scanning his face, like she wanted to say something but wasn’t sure she should.

‘Your illness,’ he blurted. ‘I…I feel like I’m experiencing déja-vu. My…mother had episodes just like yours.’

She winced. ‘I remember.’

Of course she did.

‘As I said, I’m so sorry you’ve had to see me like this. The last thing I want is to bring back painful memories.’ There was sincerity in her words – and evasion. She’d cleverly dodged the point he’d been making.

Perhaps it was the experience of being influenced by Risk – or maybe it was the weight of truths finally shared by his father – but Adrien could no longer stomach the charade. It was time to put all cards on the table.

‘I know my father is Shadow Moth,’ he said before he could change his mind. ‘Or Monarch, as he goes by now.’

Nathalie’s eyes widened. She leaned on the bed, making a deep indentation in the expensive bedding. ‘You…he told you?’

‘He had to, after I…I found my mother in the basement.’

‘Oh, Adrien.’ She let out a long, heavy breath, then leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes.

Normally, she dressed in power suits and held herself rigidly, her hair slicked back and her eyes hidden behind glasses. There was something almost masculine about her. But there in that bed, she looked so fragile and exposed. Whoever she really was underneath all the armour was now on display. She was beautiful.

And kind.

He thought of all the times she’d stood up for him, arguing for him to have just a little more freedom than his father would permit.

Does my father know how lucky he is to have this woman so devoted to him?

She opened her eyes again, catching him watching her, and held his gaze tightly. ‘Are you okay?’

It was tempting to play a part, to pretend everything was fine. But something in the intensity of her gaze told him she didn’t want that…and that he could maybe trust her. ‘I’m very confused. It’s hard to excuse what he’s done…but at the same time….’

She nodded slowly, then surprised him by taking his hand. It was the first time she’d shown him any real affection. His eyes welled with the beginnings of tears at this simple warmth in that cold, sterile mansion.

‘It must be something,’ she said softly. ‘Being told maybe you can get your mother back.’

Yes, it…really was something.

‘Anyone in your position would be tempted to write off all the bad things your father has done. I know I have – and I don’t even –’

Before she could finish her sentence, he’d thrown himself into her arms like a small child. He wept against her chest, feeling her arms gradually wrap around him and her fingers thread through his curls.

Too many thoughts swept through his mind as she held him – about his father, and Marinette, and the role he’d just given up, possibly forever – about his mother, and this mother figure he so desperately wanted in her place.

This last thought was perhaps most confusing of all. He’d long decided it would be good for his father to remarry, with Nathalie. Yet, knowing his mother was still lying dormant beneath their feet made it feel like a kind of betrayal.

And as Nathalie stroked his hair, his father’s admission came back to him.

‘She used the peacock miraculous to become Mayura. I stopped her, however, when I saw what it was doing to her.’

‘It was broken, and whoever used it would break too. It drained her – permanently, I’m afraid. We’ve fixed it now, but the…damage can’t be undone.’

‘This has been going on longer than you realise.’

His mind twitched with understanding. His mother – Nathalie –

Another memory flashed through his head – this time, of Mayura snapping a sentimonster Ladybug out of existence.

Killing her, a voice corrected in his mind – Ladybug’s.

Monster, came his late uncle’s voice.

And Felix - If you magic away a rabbit, does it know it’s gone?

Maybe Nathalie wasn’t so kind, after all.

Swallowing, he disentangled himself from Nathalie’s embrace and wiped his eyes, not knowing where to look. ‘Sorry, I…I don’t know what came over me.’

She looked at him with such heartbreaking sympathy that he felt the tears threatening to come again – but he willed them away.

Was this just part of growing up – the epiphany that no one was what they seemed? That it was impossible to know who in this world you could truly trust?

As if on cue, the door opened and his father was there. ‘Adrien. I didn’t expect to find you here.’

Was that disapproval in his voice?

Am I not allowed to walk around my own house?

‘I was just checking on N-Nathalie and I saw that sh-she’s awake.’ His shoulders had tensed in the expectation of his father’s irritation.

His father’s expression softened. ‘It’s a great relief to us all that she’s recovered.’ The words were right, but the voice conveyed no emotion. He turned to her. ‘Nathalie. I’ll be busy for the rest of the evening. You know where to find me if you need me – but I don’t expect you will.’ This came out sounding like an order – Don’t disturb me.

She looked down at her hands, all traces of her former feeling now gone. ‘I won’t. I have my book, sir.’

Sir.

‘Adrien,’ his father said again.

Adrien snapped to attention automatically, like a soldier rather than a son.

‘It’s good you’re here.’

‘…it is?’

‘Mm. Come with me. I have much to show you.’

And he turned and left the room, the door open for Adrien to follow him – the way it would be from now on.

Chapter Text

The dome was like the setting for a bad dream – the kind you kept having, over and over, until you learned the lesson your unconscious was trying to teach you.

Being there tonight…it was even worse than before. Last night, he’d been wrapped in the armour of shock. After, he’d shoved it into a dark compartment of his mind, an awful memory he wanted to forget. Returning to the place made it too solid, too undeniable.

As before, his father stood in that stoic pose, watching him, waiting for a reaction. Maybe he thought they were bonding.

Adrien turned in a slow circle, taking in more of the detail of the dome. His father would likely expect and even be pleased by a show of awe – which required very little acting. ‘How did you build all this without people finding out? Surely at least one of the builders would've told someone.’

His father smiled. ‘Actually, much of what you’ve seen was already here when I bought the house. It was an evacuation system constructed during WW2. I just revamped it for my own purposes. I akumatised the workers I needed, so they had extra abilities and completed the task under a spell, so to speak. No one remembers a thing. They don’t even know who they worked for.’ Perhaps the hardest thing to take was how coolly his father delivered this explanation, as if people did this sort of thing every day.

‘You…really have been planning all of this for a long time.’

‘Since before you came into the world. Though it came in stages. The dome, of course, only came after your mother….’ His voice cracked and he dropped his gaze in a rare display of emotion.

Adrien stopped in place, watching him. A memory came to him, of when his mother first died – if that was even the right word for it. He’d been walking through the foyer when he’d heard crying. Following the sound, he’d found his father in the living room, hunched over on the sofa, head in his hands.

It was the only time he’d seen him cry. That in itself had made it special – worth honouring. He’d lingered in the doorway, his gaze tracing the shape his father’s shoulders made as they bent forward, noting how they shuddered with each desperate sob.

Then his father had noticed him – had wiped his face with hasty hands and stood, straightening his jacket. Without a word or even a glance, he’d walked out the door, pushing Adrien aside with his presence, his face impassive again.

Behind the mask, his father felt things – felt them deeply. Who in his life had taught him not to express that? And at what point had he decided to use the miraculous? What had both his parents done with them, all that time before his mother died and his father had taken up the mantle of Hawk Moth?

His father lifted his chin again, his face neutral once more. ‘I want to show you something.’ When he turned to the zodiac of kwamis, it was clear, even assumed that Adrien would follow. This was the natural order of things.

Adrien obeyed.

‘Each of the kwamis has its own special power. The pig, for example, allows you to see your greatest wish in life, like a daydream so vivid that it feels real. The horse grants the power of teleportation. The snake lets you choose a starting point and return to that moment as many times as you like.’

‘Like time travel.’ Adrien knew too well how the snake worked – and just how difficult it was to wield that power correctly.

‘Not entirely. That’s more the rabbit.’

Adrien nearly said, ‘Bunnyx,’ but stopped himself just in time and put on his most innocent look of curiosity. ‘The rabbit?’

‘Mm. It allows you to go to any point in the past or the future.’

‘That’s incredible.’ He meant it. ‘Why don’t you use it to go back to when Mother was alive, and stop her from dying?’

His father’s expression was grim, his lips pressed tightly together in…frustration? ‘Impossible. It would create an inescapable paradox.’

Adrien stared in question.

‘In preventing your mother’s death, I would erase the timeline that led to my obtaining the rabbit miraculous in the first place, and thus erase the event of me preventing your mother’s death. Not to mention…there would be other repercussions.’ He gave him a sideways glance that sent a shock of ice down Adrien’s spine…then looked again at the kwamis.

Adrien looked, too, his eyes locked on the rabbit – Fluff. For all his faults, his father’s self-restraint was impressive. He’d certainly thought through what he was doing with the kwamis. Someone weaker might have simply leapt on those powers and created chaos.

Master Fu had once remarked on Adrien’s self-restraint, too – for being judicious with the power of destruction he wielded.

Used to wield.

‘The rabbit is useful in other ways, though,’ his father said.

‘Oh?’

His father tapped at his collar, drawing attention to a butterfly brooch Adrien hadn’t noticed him wearing. ‘Dark wings rise!’ A hazy purple mist enveloped him as his normal clothing was replaced by the uniform of…not quite Hawk Moth but…something else. Something more.

Monarch.

A cry rose in Adrien’s throat. After all this time, he was standing in a room with the man he’d learned to think of as his mortal enemy – his father. He fought down the instinct to spring into a catlike pouncing stance.

As Monarch, his father had materialised a cane that looked suspiciously like a fencing sword. When he tapped the handle, it popped open. Light shot out – a kaleidoscope of colours painting his face in eerie rainbow. He reached in, drawing out a small, familiar-looking pocket watch that grew in size once it was fully in the ‘real’ world.

He snapped it open. ‘Fluff – clockwise.’ A ring of blue light appeared in the room – a portal.

Adrien’s heartrate had tripled. He’d seen such portals before, when Bunnyx visited. But it was another thing to be in the room with it here without Ladybug or anyone to protect him from it….

Or keep things from me.

Like it or not, Monarch was entrusting him with more answers and information than Ladybug or Master Fu ever had. Maybe in time Ladybug would’ve told him more. But the fact remained –

‘Come,’ Monarch said.

Adrien blinked, unsure he’d heard right. Then his father was leaping through the portal, again with the unspoken expectation that Adrien would follow – and he did.

He found himself standing in another kind of dome, this one white and studded with windows into different times and possibilities, constantly changing, constantly in flux. Even the floor beneath his feet gave way to windows. He was hovering in mid-air, at the edge of eternity – literally.

The time burrow.

His heart pounded at the possibilities. In one of those windows, was there a world where he didn’t find out about his mother? Where his father won, made his wish, and erased all memory of what he’d done? Was Cat Blanc out there – a self not yet tapped into, waiting to be unlocked and released upon the world?

Dizziness made his legs wobble. If only there were something to steady himself against – but there were only those windows. The moment he leaned on one, he would be on a journey, causing who knew what kind of trouble.

His father gazed through the windows with the air of a man who’d done this many times before. ‘Each of these leads to a different moment in time. There’s more than can be seen. Each thought we have brings a new moment to view. We can peer into the future – but that’s dangerous. Or we can look to the past – which is yet more dangerous. The most we can truly do is look. Interaction would risk changing things.’

‘…l-look at what?’

‘Well…this, for example.’ Monarch swept his hand across the wall of eternity and an image filled it – of Adrien’s mother.

His breath caught. She was so young, not much older than him – twenty, at most. Her blond hair was longer than he remembered, flying behind her as she ran through a field of Riding-Hood-red poppies under a glorious cloudless sky. The sun shone hard on her face, making her green eyes sparkle like two tiny stars.

On shaky legs, he moved closer and stared up at her, larger than life and so painfully there.

Maman….

He reached a hand to touch her, but his fingers disappeared into the mists of time, making him flinch and withdraw, lest he do anything that might spoil that perfect image.

‘She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.’ His father spoke in a tone Adrien had never heard from him before. Soft – wistful – gentle. ‘Did she ever tell you how we met?’

Did she…. There seemed to be an assumption that only she would’ve shared such a story. His father had never been the type to open up about private matters.

Adrien cast his mind back. In fact, she had told him…something. ‘You were…trying to get some job at a magazine.’

‘Indeed. I’m not sure if you realise this, but I came from a poor background with not much more than a dream. That’s what’s always made me stand out, Adrien – my vision.’

Adrien listened in trained silence, afraid to interrupt or his father might cut off his story prematurely.

‘I was only twenty-three, sketching designs for independent films that would never find real success. My vision at that time was to land a position in what was essentially the tearoom of a major fashion magazine that held the potential to launch my career – a place where I could make connections and work my way up the ladder.

‘The editor was a big, big name in the industry. At least…he was then. He had fingers in so many pies that he needed his own patisserie – and I wanted a piece of just one.’ Although this had happened nearly two decades ago, the bitterness of a poor man struggling to gain a foot in with the blessed was still rich in his voice.

‘I thought all I wanted was the job – and then I saw your mother. She was dating the editor, and it’s not exaggeration when I say she took my breath away the first time he introduced me to her. For a moment, I thought my heart had actually stopped and I might fall down dead on the spot. I was in love with her the moment our eyes met.’ He smiled in memory.

Adrien shifted in discomfort. Because for the first time in his life…he was relating to his father. The first time he’d met Ladybug…she’d been so clumsy and unsure of herself, not at all like the person she’d developed into over time. But he’d seen the potential – the passion and determination and intelligence sparkling in her eyes – and he’d loved her on the spot…pun intended.

His father shook himself back to the room - to his story. ‘I had to work hard to win that contract, and even harder to win your mother. You probably remember her differently, because she was your mother, but she wasn’t what anyone would describe as easy. She was the most headstrong person I ever met, until you came into the world. She argued with just about everything I said. Every opinion I had, she held the opposite. Everything I liked, she hated. Sometimes it felt like she was deliberately contrary, just to keep me on my toes.’

Adrien smiled a little. It was hard to think of anyone controlling his father that way.

‘She came from wealth beyond my wildest imagination – old money, going back centuries, to some English count or another. But her parents disinherited her the moment she left the editor and took up with me. From then on, the pressure piled onto my shoulders. Your mother tried to reassure me that what we had was enough – that I was enough – but I guess I never really believed it. Whatever I achieved, I had to work harder – be more – if I was to be good enough for her. Then, one day, I got my big break. I proposed that same afternoon, and miracle of miracles, she said yes. Everything was...perfect.’

He lifted a hand and caressed the air in front of the screen, in line with the motion of Adrien’s mother’s cheek, as if he were touching it. The scene had changed. Now she sat on the grass laughing about something, at someone not shown ‘on screen’ – perhaps Adrien’s father.

His hand dropped. ‘She was my whole life. When she died, a piece of me died too – the most important piece.’ His voice was cold. Numb.

Just like that, he’d shut down again, a stone rendering of himself. But that window into his heart was enough to make Adrien turn his head slowly and stare at his father, tears standing in his eyes.

Hearing that grief, and seeing his mother in vivid colour on the screen, made Adrien’s ring finger itch. In that moment, he wished for more than nothing than to be able to hand over the miraculous to his father and make his wish come true. Forget the consequences – if someone had to go in his mother's place, so be it.

This is why I gave the ring to Marinette.

Because it wasn’t just about what his father might do with it. The biggest danger was his own traitorous heart.

‘Well.’ His father turned to him, an unnerving smile on his face. ‘Enough reminiscing. We have work to do.’

Then he leapt back through the portal that had brought them into the burrow, without checking that Adrien had followed.

His compliance was understood.

Chapter Text

The woman was young, only in her mid-twenties, and already she had wearied of the world.

‘Too much negativity,’ she murmured as she held her arms around her own chest tightly and walked down the bank of the Seine.

That was all you ever heard, anymore. The news fed off fear, seeking to saturate the mind with horror at all of the awful things humans could do to each other. Surely most people were more good than bad – but that didn’t sell. Everywhere she went, she was bombarded with headlines about murder and abuse, disease and famine. Hope had taken a permanent vacation.

And lately, it had been getting her down – very down. The cynicism and fear seeped into her pores, burrowing in her bone marrow and moving into her bloodstream. With each beat of her heart, the misery cycled through her body again and again and again….

Where had that upbeat little girl gone, with a head full of dreams and a heart full of optimism? At what point had she been replaced with this woman haunted by terrible visions she couldn’t shake from her mind?

‘I can’t take it anymore,’ she declared, her body shaking with emotion. The darkness felt like a living thing, swallowing her in hulking jaws.

And as it drew her into its mouth, from the depths of its throat she heard a voice whisper, ‘I understand.’

She sighed, immediately pulled in by the voice’s velvety tone. It had been so long since anyone had understood what she was battling inside.

The voice continued. ‘All you want is to live in a world of peace and serenity. You wish there were some way for everyone to get what they want, without conflict. Then, everyone would be happy.’

‘Yes,’ she breathed, completely taken in. ‘How did you know?’

‘Because – I want the same thing. I want everyone to get their heart’s desire. That’s all I’ve ever worked for.’

He sounded familiar, like someone she’d heard recently in a different context…but she couldn’t place it. Maybe it was just the sound of her inner voice...but she didn’t think so. And frankly, she didn’t care.

‘I can grant your wish,’ the voice said.

‘H…how?’ Her eyes shimmered with the beginnings of hopeful tears.

‘You leave that to me, Daydreamer.’ The voice now carried a sinister depth – but it was too late.

Like Christine to the Phantom of the opera, the woman was already his.

Chapter Text

In the early evening, Marinette shrank back in her desk chair as soon as Alya made her suggestion. ‘I…I can’t, Alya. It’s – it’s too much.’

On the chaise, Alya touched her forehead in despair. ‘It’s not like I’m asking you to get up on a stage and perform or something. It’s just a friendly get-together held on Juleka and Luka’s houseboat. You know – food? Music? Maybe even laughter? It’ll be good for you!’

‘N-no. I can’t do the thing of smiling and pretending everything’s okay when it’s not. But I also don’t want to bring everyone down. It’s – it’s better if I don’t come.’

Alya threw her head back and groaned. ‘Come on, Marinette. I know you think I don’t take this Ladybug business seriously enough – but sometimes you take it too seriously.’

‘I have to. The whole of Paris has been entrusted to me.’

‘I know, I know.’ She put up her hands in surrender. ‘But you’re still just a teenage girl. Aren’t you allowed to live a little – even just once in a while?’

Marinette bit her lip.

‘In fact…I think if you have a break from time to time, it’ll help clear your head so you can be your best Ladybug.’ She winked.

She made a very convincing argument.

Marinette let out a loud sigh of resignation. ‘Okay, fine.’

‘Yes!’

‘But the moment I feel uncomfortable, promise you’ll leave with me?’

‘I promise.’ Alya’s expression was fierce and reassuring.

After some fussing around about what to wear, Marinette changed and followed her friend out of the house, along the familiar route to the boat. Alya chattered away, but it was hard to focus on what she was saying.

What if Adrien was there, too? Surely, he’d been invited, too.

Worse – what if he wasn’t there? He didn’t often get to come before he knew his father’s secrets. But now….

The implications spiralled in her head.

‘Don’t you agree?’ Alya said.

Marinette blinked at her. ‘W-what?’

Alya rolled her eyes. ‘Forget it. Anyway – we’re here.’

They were. How’d they got there so fast? How long had she been lost in her head?

The boat was lit up for the evening, strung with fairy lights set on a slow blink. She climbed into it, after Alya, swallowing as they were met with just about all their friends. Normally, this would’ve made her heart soar. Now, she was regretting coming.

‘Marinette! Alya!’ Rose rushed over to them, drawing them into the group and getting them soft drinks. In the background, some rock rendition of a sea shanty played.

No sign of Adrien. Her chest tightened with worry.

Conversation ebbed and flowed like water, touching but not quite drawing her in – like she was an island, separate from the others. She sipped on her drink, slowly so she didn’t lose her prop too soon.

Mylene touched her arm. ‘Marinette, are you okay? You haven’t said a word since you got here.’

Marinette froze, all eyes on her. Her friends meant well. Concern was etched into the lines around their mouths and eyes. But sympathy was the last thing she wanted right now.

She looked at her hands, wrapped tight around her cup. ‘S-sorry. I’ve had a lot on my mind since….’ Since what? Would it be in character to worry about the fate of Paris as plain old klutzy Marinette?

Maybe.

‘Oh, Marinette.’ Rose clasped her hands over her heart. ‘We’re all worried. Ever since Monarch made his announcement...it’s all so scary!’

Juleka mumbled something and others nodded in vigorous agreement.

Nino was shaking his head. ‘Guys, there is nothing to worry about. Ladybug will fix everything – you’ll see.’

‘Yes!’ said Kim.

‘It is 99.99% assured,’ Max chimed in.

Marinette felt her stomach drop.

Alya leaned in close. ‘You okay?’ Her eyes hinted that this was her escape moment. She should use it wisely.

‘I…I think I’m going to be seasick,’ Mariette said.

Alix frowned. ‘That’s strange. You’ve never seemed seasick on the boat before.’

‘Yeah, well, I…I guess it was something I ate. I just…I have to go!’ Marinette ran away from them, around the side of the boat and to the other end, where she leaned against the railing, panting, and stared out at the water of the Seine.

In fact, she did feel sick. It wasn’t even in a lie. Yet, in the background, the sound of music and laughter rang through the cool evening air. In so many ways, the moment was beautiful – serene. You’d never guess Adrien was possibly in the clutches of his evil father, right now.

‘Ladybug will fix everything. Yeah, right.’

She reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out Cat Noir’s ring, turning it in her hands. It hadn’t even been a day, and already her heart ached for him. It wasn’t right, holding his miraculous. None of this was right.

‘Marinette.’

She jumped, nearly dropping the ring, and spun around. ‘Luka!’ She shot him a lopsided smile as she stuffed the ring back into her bag. ‘I – I didn’t expect to see you here!’

He stared at her. ‘I live here.’

‘…I know that. What I meant was here – on this part of the boat.’ She gestured wildly at the wooden planks under their feet, to emphasise the hereness.

‘Oh. Well…here I am.’ He stepped over and joined her at the railing. ‘You were talking to yourself.’

‘Me?’ She tried to sound shocked by the accusation.

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, I…hadn’t even noticed!’ This was sort of the truth. ‘What was I saying?’

‘I…think you were quoting what the others said back there.’

Her cheeks warmed. ‘Y-you heard all that?’

He nodded. Luka had always been a bit of a contradiction. In some ways, he had the open innocence of a child, unable to lie or keep secrets. Then there were times when he was difficult to read. If he wanted to lie or keep secrets…he'd be very good at it.

What’s he thinking right now?

‘They’re right, you know.’

She blinked at him.

‘About Ladybug. She really will find a way to fix everything.’

She crossed her arms in a humph. ‘What, you think she can just wave a magic wand and get all the miraculous back and defeat Monarch? In case you haven’t heard, she doesn’t even have Cat Noir anymore.’

He tilted his head, his blue eyes intense with questions. ‘I saw the announcement on the Ladyblog. I wonder why Ladybug lied like that.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Why she…l-lied? What do you mean? What would she be lying about?’

He shrugged. ‘Cat Noir isn’t ill. That’s just a cover story. So, what happened?’

How does he know that?

Does everyone else know, too?

‘How would I know?’ she snapped.

‘Sorry.’ He put up his hands. ‘Just making conversation.’

It really didn’t sound like that, but…she didn’t have the energy to argue with him. ‘I guess I’m just a little jittery after…after Monarch stole all those miraculous. H-how about we change the subject.’

Luka let out a small sigh, then looked out over the water. The boat’s fairy lights glimmered off his dyed hair. ‘Whatever’s going on with you…I’m here for you. We’re friends.’ The word was weighted with memories of the past – with dreams he was setting aside, because he knew she loved someone else.

He met her eyes again. ‘I mean it, Marinette. I won’t pretend my feelings for you have changed, but…I accepted the situation a long time ago. I’ll get over you eventually. I really do just want to be here for you.’

A lump formed in her throat. Somehow, Luka always knew the right thing to say. If only she could love him the way he loved her. It would be so much easier than what she was dealing with now. ‘I – I don’t want to hurt you.’

He smiled as if she’d just given him the answer he was looking for. ‘It’s about Adrien, isn’t it.’

She chewed her lower lip.

‘It’s okay, Marinette – really. I know you two share something that can’t be touched. He’s a lucky guy – and I’m happy for you.’

Each word was a new stab to the gut. Her face crumpled with the beginnings of tears.

‘Except…you don’t seem happy. What happened?’

It was like her emotions had been tied up in a ball of string, and now it was unwinding. ‘Oh, Luka! It’s – it’s his father. He’s horrible – and I don’t think Adrien has really accepted just how horrible.’ The tears spilled out, and she wiped her face with the sleeves of her jacket. She was such a mess. Her face burned with embarrassment.

Perhaps sensing that she didn’t want him to see her like that, Luka looked out over the water again. ‘Marinette…I may not know the details of what’s happening – but I know something about disappointing fathers.’

She gulped down a fresh wave of grief, forcing herself to focus on him, on what he was sharing. ‘You’re…disappointed with your dad?’

He glanced at her – hesitant, as if unsure she would be okay with it. ‘I know how it must sound. Suddenly finding out your dad’s this mega superstar must be the greatest thing ever…right? Especially when all your friends love the guy. But Marinette…he abandoned my sister and me for years.’

‘…but he came back.’

‘True. But he’s like an overgrown child. He’ll never be the kind of father I dreamed of when I was little. I’ll always kind of be the adult in our relationship. Just…with more money than before, I guess.’ His words were laced with bitter cynicism.

He turned, leaning back against the railing. ‘What I’m saying is…I think I know where Adrien’s coming from. Your father is…well, your father. You grow up with this ideal in your head, and it’s hard to come to terms with reality. Adrien might have all the stuff he could ever want – just like I could get anything I ask for, now – but it won’t ever make up for the things that really matter deep down. And it isn’t easy, accepting that. I bet all Adrien wants is that bond with his father.’

She swallowed down the last of her tears. Why hadn’t she seen this before? It made perfect sense, when he said it like that. ‘And here I am, trying to get him to see that his father is a terrible person. Oh, Luka, what have I done?’

He gave her a gentle smile. ‘I’m sure you only have his best interests at heart. But it must be confusing for him, to be torn between the two of you.’

Torn….

An image of Cat Blanc rose in her mind again. ‘It was our love that did this.’

Was that what happened, in that other timestream? Did she and Gabriel pressure Adrien to take sides? Did he simply explode with emotion?

What else had Cat Blanc said to her? She rubbed her forehead, trying to draw back the memory. But all that came to mind was him commenting in a voice of dull resignation that….

‘You’re not even listening.’

He was right. And she wished so hard that he wasn’t.

‘He’s probably not even a terrible person,’ Luka said.

‘W-what?’ Cat Blanc?

‘Gabriel Agreste.’

‘O-oh.’ She touched her chest to steady her heart.

‘I mean, how many people do you know who are truly 100% evil?’

No one, personally.

‘Maybe the man isn’t the ideal father…but he must have some good qualities. Otherwise, how did he raise someone like Adrien?’

This point made her thought train grind to a screeching halt. ‘I…guess I always thought it was all down to his mother.’

‘Maybe. But I doubt it. You’re suggesting that his mother was a perfect angel. Why would someone like that marry Evil Gabriel?’

Why, indeed. She groaned and rubbed her temples. ‘My head hurts.’

Luka smiled. ‘All I’m saying is people are complicated. And that’s sort of what’s great about the world. If everyone played the same tune...there’d be no music.’

His message came through loud and clear. ‘So, I’m being unfair on Adrien.’

He shook his head, the teal tips dusting his forehead. ‘I’m not making accusations. I’m just suggesting that maybe there’s another way to look at things. I don’t know Adrien that well, but…I know he’s a good person – and more complex than most people give him credit for. If something’s going on with his father right now…he could use your friendship more than ever.’

Luka was right. Adrien might be suffering out there. Even if his worst fears came true – even if he was forced to help his father – she had to be there for him...just like he’d always been there for her. That was what it meant to love someone. It wasn’t just something you felt – it was something you did.

She opened her mouth to reply – when light flashed across the water. It might’ve been normal, but…her nerves stood on end, every instinct telling her it was magic.

There was another akuma victim – and this time, she would have to fight it on her own.

Chapter Text

With her heart in her mouth, Marinette stared at the lights flashing over the Seine, like something out of The War of the Worlds. Beside her, Luka was leaning over the boat railing as if to get a better look at what was coming. She needed to get rid of him, so she could transform somewhere in private.

‘W-what was that?’ she asked, pointing out over the river.

His jaw set in a grim line. ‘It has all the hallmarks of an akuma incident.’

‘Oh no! I hope Ladybug gets here soon and saves us!’

Maybe she was overdoing it, because Luka eyed her sideways, like he was…trying to communicate something to her. But…what?

He sighed. ‘I’d better check on the others on the boat.’

She blinked at him. He’d just handed her an exit on a plate, without any of her usual manoeuvring. And she needed to take it. ‘What a great idea! I’ll find somewhere to hide.’

He gave her a wan smile, then darted off around the side of the boat, to where they’d left the others on the main deck.

As soon as he was gone, Tikki flew out of her bag. ‘An akuma?’

‘It has to be. And this time….’ Adrien might be behind the scenes. Shaking, she leaned on the railing for support.

‘Are you sure you’ll be able to fight the villain without letting thoughts of Adrien distract you?’

Marinette frowned. ‘Tikki. You should know me by now.’

‘I do. That’s why I asked.’

Ouch. Well – time to focus on the mission. 'Spots on.’

Transformed, she ran in the direction Luka had gone – and stopped in her tracks when she saw the main deck. Every one of their friends was like a living statue, unmoving and staring into the middle distance, seemingly at some image only they could see. They all wore eerily identical smiles.

There wasn’t a trace of the akuma victim.

‘Ladybug!’ Luka cried from across the deck.

She waved in return, her legs like jelly with relief. She’d fought plenty of battles on her own before, but this felt different. If Adrien was somehow in that…dome…with Monarch – with his father – the rules of the game had changed.

But if Luka was there…. Maybe I don’t have to fight this alone, after all.

Her eyes burned at the memory of Adrien removing his miraculous and handing it to her.

‘I know you’ll entrust it to someone worthy.’

Maybe that someone was Luka.

As soon as she thought it, she shook the idea away. Adrien couldn’t just be replaced – especially not with Luka, of all people. Nothing about that plan felt right.

A shock of rainbow pierced the too-dark sky, arcing into the boat. She stumbled backwards two steps as a figure emerged, stepping towards her – someone female who seemed to emit her own light from within. She glittered with it, her eyes sparkling like twin firecrackers.

She held herself with the grace and elegance of a model. Wrapped in that gown of light…it all made sense. She’d been designed – even if only in a split second of intention. Someone else’s intention.

How, how, how did I not see that Monarch was Gabriel Agreste? I even suspected him once and I didn’t –

‘You must be the one who wants to hold back my light,’ her opponent said in a bright tone that was completely at odds with her words.

Ladybug put up one hand to shield her eyes. It was impossible to see where the akuma might be hidden. She was being literally dazzled. When she blinked, she saw stars. ‘And you are…?’

‘Daydreamer. Monarch told me about you – how you keep trying to prevent his wish from coming true. And here you are again, ready to take me down and spoil the joy of everyone in Paris.’

‘Joy?’ Supervillains weren't usually in the market to spread happiness.

Daydreamer pointed at her friends on the boat, watching their own private shows with dazed expressions. ‘I gave them their heart’s desire. They’re living it out as we speak, in their imaginations, so vividly that they believe it’s real. This way, everyone can have what they want. No one has to fight anymore. At last, world peace is more than just a dream.’

Ladybug shivered. What filled the deck…that didn’t look like peace. More like her friends had been drugged.

Had Adrien been drugged? Was he somewhere in that cold, sterile mansion, being forced to watch what was happening?

Worse – was he helping it happen?

‘I can make your heart’s desire come true too,’ Daydreamer told her in a silky voice. ‘I wonder what that would be. What could a miserable bug like you possibly wish for?’

Ladybug ignored the urgent look Luka was shooting her across the boat, her wish list flashing through her head before she could stop it.

Adrien to be free.

Gabriel to be stopped.

Someone to take this Guardianship from me.

But no one could give her these things. What her friends were seeing were illusions, made to keep them complacent. They weren’t getting anything they wanted – they weren’t getting anything at all.

Just like she never got what she wanted. She’d finally achieved her greatest ambition – Adrien loved her – and she’d lost him.

I lost him. Adrien – Cat Noir – I lost them both .

Thanks to his father.

Her fists clenched at her side, tears standing in her eyes.

Daydreamer was stalking towards her across the deck, her hips swaying with each step. When she raised her hand, everything seemed to move in slow motion. The light sparking off her fingertips – the rainbow forming, soaring from her hand like an arrow.

A voice spoke up in Ladybug’s head – Cat Noir’s voice. ‘Snap out of it. Don’t let her get to you. Don’t let her get you, either.’

Imaginary or not, the urgency of his command woke her up. She leapt away just before the rainbow could strike her, then bounded off the boat, to the shore, with only one thought – to draw Daydreamer away from Luka.

If I can save just one person….

Daydreamer followed. With no better plan, Ladybug tried to keep her busy.

Maybe I can wear her out.

She laughed at herself as she leapt and dodged, throwing her yo-yo around a lamp post and hurling herself over it. That was her clever plan now? Just run until the enemy got tired?

If only Cat were there – Cat and his bad jokes she used to take for granted, the jokes that kept her from losing her head when the pressure got too much.

‘Stop that,’ he scolded in her mind.

He – her subconscious – was right. It was no good thinking about what she didn’t have. She needed to concentrate on the task at hand. She needed luck.

She paused long enough to shout, ‘Lucky charm!’ A tiny compact fell into her hand, and her mind went blank. ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’ she muttered.

There was no sarcastic remark from her partner – because he wasn’t there. He was in the mansion, probably with his father, maybe watching everything that was happening right now and –

Oh god oh god oh god. She couldn’t get him out of her head – couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Daydreamer was closing in on her again, firing rainbows at her by the dozen, missing by mere centimetres. Maybe Ladybug was just that good at dodging – maybe Daydreamer was a bad shot – or maybe….

No, no, no!

The rainbows surrounded her, giving her no choice but to run back the way she’d come. She was being herded that way, straight into a small alleyway off the bank of the Seine.

She glanced around, for some other route, but – there wasn’t one. Her heart raced, not from adrenaline but –

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid because I’m alone.

Even in the trickiest scenarios, she’d always had Cat to rely upon in some form. Even when he’d been taken over by the villain, she’d been able to….

Use him.

Her stomach twisting in sickening knots, she darted into the alleyway, tucking into the darkness at the end – a dead end. There were no doors. There was no way out. Maybe she could climb but…her breath was ragged, her limbs and heart heavy as stone.

I used him – and he never really complained. He was always there to help me, no matter what. And now he’s with Monarch in that dome, watching all of this unfold. Now he’s being used by someone else.

The tears slipped from her eyes. She pressed hard against the back of the alleyway, like a frightened animal in a trap.

‘There you are.’ Daydreamer stood at the foot of the alleyway, filling the whole entrance with light, blinding Ladybug again. ‘We both know you can’t win this on your own. Why don’t you let me give you a happy dream, hmmm? And while you’re at it, you can give me your miraculous so we can make Monarch’s deepest wish come true, too.’

And Adrien’s. It’s his wish, too, and I’m trying to take it from him.

Daydreamer strode slowly down the alleyway, stopping in front of Ladybug, a triumphant grin on her face. ‘No one’s going to come to your rescue. And why should they? They’re all happy in the dreams I’ve given them. You’re the only one who refuses to be happy. You’re the one who wants to ruin everything for everyone.’

Ladybug’s limbs seemed to have stopped working. She was frozen against the wall, paralysed by her own grief. The tears fell harder.

Maybe Daydreamer was right. All Adrien really wanted was a close relationship with his father – and she was trying to shatter that.

He missed his mother so much – yet she was fighting to make sure Emilie never returned.

It was so much easier in fairytales. Red Riding Hood never had to think about whether the wolf was evil – he just needed killing. But real life didn’t work like that. In real life, there were complicated choices and obligations. There were masks you had to wear, roles you had to perform. There were times when you were asked to hurt the people you loved for the greater good.

Her chest heaved with grief. What was she even fighting for, anymore? What was the point? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Monarch won. Maybe in his new world, she wouldn’t have to be Ladybug anymore, wouldn’t have to be the Guardian – wouldn’t have to make these hard decisions.

Weeping, she slid down the wall, to the ground, her knees falling hard on the gravel.

‘Goooood.’ Daydreamer’s tone was hypnotic. ‘You’re smarter than I thought. You recognise defeat when you see it. But I’m true to my word. I’m going to make you happy, Ladybug – happier than you’ve ever been before.’

Please – please. Anything to make this feeling go away.

She extended an arm, the rainbow forming. Ladybug bowed her head, waiting for the inevitable – welcoming it.

Then she heard Daydreamer curse.

Ladybug looked up. Luka was wrestling with Daydreamer, making her beams of light bounce off the walls like some kind of laser show. He gave his opponent an almighty whack with some sort of stick he held – then twisted to throw Ladybug a hard look.

This time, she got his message loud and clear. He was giving her another exit. And like before, she couldn’t waste it. Even if all she wanted was to lie there on the ground.

Tears still streaming down her face, she dragged herself to her feet and made a dash for it, dodging the laser beams and grabbing Luka, flying them both out of the alleyway and into the air, back towards the boat.

‘Are you okay, Ladybug?’

There was no point in lying to him. He could see her – could feel her trembling as she held him. ‘N-not really.’ The light was already following them. It would be with them soon – and then she’d have to face it again.

‘You’ve fought worse than this before.’

‘No, I h-haven’t. This is different, Luka. I’m not even sure I’m the hero, this –’ The words were choked off in a sob. She landed them on the boat and gave herself a shake, trying to stay in the game – and caught his eyes, warm and earnest.

He took a hesitant step towards her – reached for her – then drew back, like he thought he might be crossing a line. ‘If only there were some way for you to see yourself through my eyes – to help you see how strong and powerful and brave you are….’

She swallowed. That all sounded wonderful but –

The tears slowed, drying on her cheeks as the idea came to her. ‘I...I know what my lucky charm is for.’ She pulled out the compact. She’d done something like this before, with Pixelator. She could do it again.

She stepped aside, putting herself on view as the light catapulted towards the boat. The memory of crumbling in that alleyway was luminescent in her mind – of being brought to her knees – broken.

Rage worked its way up through her throat. ‘You want me, Daydreamer? Then come get me!’

Hardly had she spat out her challenge than Daydreamer landed on the boat, firing those rainbows at her. Wasting no time, Ladybug flipped open the compact and caught one of the beams in the mirror, reflecting it back at Daydreamer and freezing her in her own dream.

Just like that – it was over.

For now.

Ladybug bent forward, leaning on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Each time she blinked, she saw Cat Noir.

‘Well done, M’lady,’ he said in her mind.

But would he really say that? Now that he knew what Monarch wanted….

She let out one last long breath, then walked over to Daydreamer, studying her glazed expression, the small smile playing on her lips. What was she seeing? What was her heart’s desire? Maybe she wished for a world without pressure, too. Maybe they weren’t so different underneath, only playing the parts of hero and villain because that was how they’d been cast.

Luka crossed the deck, stopping beside her.

‘Am I doing the right thing?’ she asked without looking at him.

‘…by de-akumatising her?’

‘You say that like the answer is obvious. But this time….’ Whoever lay behind the supervillain costume…that was a real person with real problems and real pain. If she purified the akuma, all that pain would return.

And Adrien will lose his chance to get his mother back.

Luka rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘Whatever she’s seeing…you know it's not real. We can’t spend our lives in fantasy. Besides – everyone would starve or die of exposure if you just left them like that.’

He made a good point. But still….

Why is it always down to me to make these decisions?

She swallowed down the thought, searching Daydreamer for some sign of where the akuma was hidden. Taking a chance on a hairpin, she pulled it out and broke it, releasing the familiar purple butterfly and de-transforming the victim.

Without all the light, the miraculous of the pig was visible in her hand – no doubt what she’d used to grant people visions of their deepest wishes. Ladybug took it and dropped it through the portal in her yo-yo, returning it to the miracle box where it belonged.

One more taken back.

Was Adrien relieved? Disappointed?

She threw the compact in the air, shouting, ‘Miraculous ladybug!’ into the night, then stood back while whatever damage Daydreamer had caused was undone. Behind her, she could hear her friends regaining awareness, but she kept her eyes trained on her former opponent.

‘Where am I?’ the young woman asked, looking around with confused brown eyes.

Ladybug touched the woman’s shoulder. ‘You were taken over by Monarch – but you’re okay now.’

‘I was?’ The woman covered her face with her hands. ‘I’m so sorry. I was so overwhelmed by the constant negativity that seems to bombard us from every newsstand…and then I let that negativity be used by….’

‘It’s…it’s okay. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. What’s important is that we fight that darkness with the light that’s inside us already.’ She tapped her chest to indicate the heart. ‘It’s all done now, so why don’t you go home?’

The woman held her eyes – then nodded in in thanks and hurried away, off the boat.

Only when she’d gone did Ladybug remember she was meant to be handing out magical charms to protect these people from being akumatised again.

But Gabriel figured out how to break those, too. Nothing I do is permanent. All of this is a plaster over a burst dam. I can hold the flood back for so long.

‘Ladybug!’ came cries from her recovered friends.

Her chest tightened. All she wanted was for them to disappear and give her space.

She turned round to face them, flashed them all her biggest smile and waved at them. ‘You’re alright! Good to know. Bug out!’

Then she ran to the other end of the boat, about to leap off – when Luka’s voice stopped her. ‘You won the fight, but you seem unhappy.’

She froze in place. What did she say to that? How could he see through her so easily?

Turning slowly around, she gave him a tiny smile. ‘Um…thanks for your…for your help back there. I…thought I was on my own, but…I guess I wasn’t. This time, anyway.’

His lips parted in surprise. ‘So Cat Noir really isn’t coming back.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s impossible,’ she whispered.

He frowned as if the idea caused him deep, personal pain. ‘You know…a lot of things seem impossible until they’re not.’

She wasn’t quite sure what he meant, so she gave him an awkward smile.

He stepped closer, taking her hands and pressing them tenderly…as if he knew they were close friends. ‘You’ll find a way through this. You always do.’ It felt like he was talking to her as Marinette, not just Ladybug. But that was also impossible.

‘Th-thanks. Bug out!’ She pulled out of his grasp and threw her yo-yo, jumping off the boat and heading back into the alleyway to de-transform before her time ran out.

Tikki flew out, a broad grin on her face. ‘Wow! Luka really saved you back there – even without a miraculous!’

‘He did.’ She tossed Tikki a macaron, then headed back for the boat, where her friends appeared to be searching for her.

‘Marinette!’ Rose cried. ‘We were so worried! Where were you?’

‘Oh, I…jumped off the boat and swam and hid in an alley….’

Alix frowned. ‘But you’re all dry.’

Marinette looked down at her clothes. How did she explain that one?

‘I guess we were all under longer than we thought!’ Alya jumped in.

Alix looked unconvinced, but Alya spoke hurriedly to push the conversation on. Marinette threw her a look of gratitude – and spotted Luka kneeling by the railing at the end of the boat.

Rose started chattering away about the happy dream she’d been locked in, when under Daydreamer’s spell. Something about a whole planet full of unicorns.

Luka brushed past, placing something in Marinette’s hand. ‘I think you dropped this.’ He smiled, then walked on, back to his room below deck.

She followed him with her eyes – then looked down at the ring sitting in her trembling palm.

Adrien’s miraculous.

Luka was right. Sometimes things were only impossible until they weren’t.

Chapter Text

Marinette half-listened to Alya talk at her all the way home from the boat. It was chilly out, the moon bright behind the clouds. Adrien’s miraculous seemed to burn within her bag, while the memory of what Luka had done burned in her mind.

Maybe he thought it was a normal ring. After all, he’d seen her with it, when he’d first approached her earlier by the railing.

But no…. That look in his eyes when he returned it to her…he knew.

But how?

‘Are you listening to a word I’m saying?’

Marinette stumbled over her feet, then turned to Alya, who’d stopped on the pavement. Somehow, they were already back at the bakery. ‘I…no. I’m sorry, Alya, I just….’ She just what?

How did she explain this? How did she get her friend to understand it was more than just Adrien – even more than Cat Noir being ‘ill’? She couldn’t tell her anything without giving away his secrets, not just about his identity but his father’s.

‘Marinette.’ Alya’s eyes glistened in the moonlight. ‘I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you.’

You’re right. You can’t.

‘But I want to understand…you know?’

‘…I know.’ God, she did, she really did, but – this wasn’t something she could share with anyone in the world, not even her best friend. Luka might’ve helped her with the akuma, but in the most important ways, she was alone.

As if reading her mind, Alya said, ‘You don’t have to deal with this on your own, you know. You have a big group of friends who all want to support you – even if you can’t tell us everything that’s going on.’

Oh, Alya. Her heart swelled – and her throat, with all the words she couldn’t say.

‘So…I noticed you’re carrying around the cat miraculous.’

Marinette clutched the strap of her bag. ‘Y-you saw that?’

Alya nodded. ‘Are you going to get another Cat Noir?’

She gave a fierce shake of the head. ‘There could never be another Cat Noir. But…maybe I’ll hand out some of the other miraculous, now that I’ve…I’ve managed to recover a couple.’

‘…why don’t you sound happy about that?’

Because I’m stopping Adrien from having his mother again.

She swallowed and put on her biggest smile. ‘What are you talking about? I’m thrilled! Never been happier.’

Alya arched an eyebrow, making it clear this was the worst acting job she’d ever witnessed. Then she sighed. ‘Well…whatever’s going on with you…it was good to spend time with you tonight.’

‘…it was. Despite what happened…thanks for getting me out of the house.’

Alya put her fists on her hips and puffed up her chest. ‘That’s my superhero power.’

Marinette smiled…then threw her arms around her friend and held her tight, sinking into her warmth. Alya squeezed her in return, like she needed that hug just as badly. Something passed between them in the embrace – some understanding. They were good again.

Maybe things can be good between Adrien and me, too.

They pulled apart and Alya mimed a phone to her ear. ‘Call me later?’

‘Unless I pass out first – definitely.’

Alya grinned. ‘See ya.’ She walked back in the direction of her own home.

Marinette let herself in, giving her parents a wave as she passed them in the living room, where they cuddled together on the sofa, watching TV.

Her mother lifted her head. ‘Did you have a good time?’

‘The best.’ She hurried upstairs to her room before they could dig for details. They obviously hadn’t seen the news yet.

When she popped open the hatch in her floor, she nearly stumbled down the ladder. ‘Master Su-Han!’ She scrambled into her bedroom and slammed the hatch shut behind her.

The night when Monarch announced to Paris that he’d taken all the miraculous, Su-Han had been anything but sympathetic. As far as she was aware, he’d then taken off to the new temple to consult with the rest of the Order. His time off had done nothing to turn that perpetual frown upside down.

He stared down at her, arms crossed. ‘I heard about Cat Noir on the Ladyblog and came straight back.’

‘Wait – you read the Ladyblog?’

His face was apoplectically red. ‘That is beside the point! Marinette, I can’t seem to go away for a few days without everything falling apart! What is happening?’

Her own rage bubbled in her veins. ‘Are you angry at me?’

‘Of course I’m angry!’ He puffed up his chest, towering over her – but she wasn’t in the mood to be intimidated. Not after what she’d already been through tonight.

She stomped towards him. ‘Alright. You want to know what’s happening? I’ll tell you. Cat Noir and I had a serious, mature discussion and came to the completely responsible decision that he was unfit for the role. He gave up his miraculous even though it broke his heart to do it, and I just fought off the latest akuma victim on my own, because I can look after myself. That is what is happening!’

‘Marinette?’ her father’s voice called up the stairs.

‘Oh god.’ She shoved a stunned Su-Han across the room, towards the window. ‘Up on the balcony – now.’

Eyes wide at her ferocity, he did as he was told, just in time for her father to push open the loft hatch.

‘Everything okay, pumpkin?’

She put on her biggest smile and tried to look natural. ‘I’m fine, Dad! Just…practising lines for a school play! I guess I got carried away.’

He scratched his temple. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’re in a play? That’s wonderful! What’s it called? Can we see it?’

‘Oh, uh…it doesn’t really have a name yet. You see…some of the kids in my class are writing the script themselves, and um…I mean, it might not even really happen, so…don’t get your hopes up, okay?’

He stared at her.

‘Anyway…I’ll try to be quieter while I practise…okay?’

‘…well, alright. But keep us posted about the play!’

She gave him two thumbs up, releasing a long breath when he’d gone. Then she ran to the window and stuck her head out, motioning to Su-Han.

He looked strangely cowed, his shoulders slumped and head down. ‘I am deeply sorry,’ he told her in a quiet voice. ‘I had not considered what a selfless decision Cat Noir had made, giving up the miraculous and all the power that goes with it.’

Each word struck her in the chest, her breath coming with difficulty. ‘No…thank you.’

His brow rose in question.

‘I…I needed to hear that. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, having to do things on my own. It’s good to be reminded of what a big thing Cat Noir really did. I know…I know none of this has been easy for him.’

Su-Han stood rigid – then patted her on the shoulder. It was an awkward pat, like he wasn’t used to dealing with people being vulnerable. ‘Yes, well…very well then. You…do know you’ll need to appoint a new Cat Noir…?’

Yes, she knew. But she would put it off as long as she could.

He gave a firm nod. ‘I’ll leave you to it, then. But I’ll be watching you.’

Then he exited through her window and took off over the rooftops, leaving her staring after him through the window.

Her heart ached with longing for the days when she had Master Fu to turn to with these problems. For all his flaws, he would’ve had some tender words to reassure her and keep her on her path. He would’ve tried to help.

She wrapped her arms around herself, the way no one else was there to do for her. It seemed like everyone was leaving her, lately.

In the dome, Adrien watched Monarch – his father – lose the connection with his victim. The akuma must’ve been released – purified.

Ladybug had won.

Without me.

He was right. He needed her more than she needed him. That had always been obvious. And right now, he needed her more than ever – needed her to put her arms around him and make things better, the way she must’ve just used her magical ladybugs to make everything better in the city.

De-transformed, his father’s fists clenched at his sides. His glare was so cold, Adrien shivered. ‘You see how this goes. I don’t want to hurt people, Adrien.’

Then stop.

‘What evil deed did I do just now? I granted the power to make everyone happy – and I’m painted the villain. Ladybug imagines my intentions are dark. It never occurs to her that I might simply want to make one wish out of love. That’s why she thwarts me – because she doesn’t understand love herself. You’ve seen the way she discards assistants – how she pushed Cat Noir away. I’m amazed she hasn’t already replaced him.’

Adrien fought back a grimace, pressing his lips tightly together to stop his tongue from spilling his thoughts.

His father squinted at him. ‘You disagree?’

‘I…don’t know. To be honest, I’ve…never really followed Paris’s “dynamic duo”.’ He used air quotes and rolled his eyes as if the whole matter was laughable.

His father’s mouth curved into a hideous grin, his hands and shoulders loosening. ‘I should’ve told you about this sooner.’

Yes…but not for the reasons you think.

‘It’s a pity you could only stand by and watch. When I’m Monarch, I’m connected with my…selections.’

Victims.

‘I see what they see, hear what they hear. I can even control their bodies if I wish.’

Adrien’s eyes widened. Control their bodies…?

‘Next time, you will use the butterfly. You can make the selection. After all – this is our wish, not just mine.’

What? His mouth had gone dry, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it throbbing in his ears. Ears that had to have misheard what his father just said. There was no way he was suggesting that he….

‘Well?’ His father’s expression had changed, all angry angles again, rage seeking an outlet.

He swallowed. Sometimes it was best to be honest. ‘I…really don’t know what to say, Father.’

That expression changed again, the angles softening. ‘I knew you’d be pleased.’

That wasn’t quite the word for it.

‘Well – enough for today. I have calls to make.’ He turned, ready to take them both down the lift again.

Adrien followed in a stupor. This has to be a nightmare. I’m going to wake up soon and Marinette will be there to laugh at the ridiculous things I dream about. Maybe she won’t even remember I’m Cat Noir. We never found out our identities. Of course we didn’t. Didn’t she warn me that it always leads to disaster?

It didn’t get more disastrous than this.

Like last time, when they reached his father’s office he was dismissed without a word, without a glance. Their bonding moment was over – for now.

Adrien walked slowly back to his room. Maybe the butterfly had done something to him. Was there such a thing as second-hand miraculousing? Because with each step, his heart ached harder at being cast out of his father’s personal sphere again.

He didn’t want to return. Didn’t want to go back to that dome. Didn’t want to do what his father asked of him.

But the last hour was probably the most time his father had acknowledged his existence since his mother died. That attention – that approval – why couldn’t he give it over something normal? Why couldn’t they just…go play crazy golf or something, like other fathers and sons did?

In his room, he sank down on the bed, shoulders hunched over and stomach concave, staring vaguely at the butterflies on his shoes.

‘I’m going to use the butterfly,’ he said to no one.

Ladybug would kill him. Yet somehow, he felt most guilty towards Plagg. The idea of using another kwami after he’d just renounced the one he’d built such a relationship with…it was so wrong.

He heaved himself up and moved to the window, staring out through the heavy metal bars that crisscrossed most of the glass wall. He’d never really thought just how much they resembled prison bars.

As Cat Noir, he’d had the freedom to escape that prison. He could transform and leap out the window, jump across the rooftops and find a quiet place all his own, where there was no one around to make demands or press him to feel guilty for being who he was. Being granted that power had been so much more than being a superhero.

Now, as plain old Adrien again, he was stuck in that prison of a bedroom once more, with no way out except through his father – and no cataclysm to swipe away the bars and find release again.

Chapter Text

The next day, Marinette drifted from class to class, waiting for Adrien to turn up. But as the day progressed, her heart sank further and further.

He wasn’t coming.

But maybe there was a simple explanation for it – one that didn’t involve things like deep depression or being turned evil by your own father.

In science class, she swatted Nino’s shoulder at the desk below her. ‘Psst! Where’s Adrien?’ she demanded, not nearly quiet enough to bypass the teacher at the head of the room.

‘Marinette,’ Ms Mendeleiev said in her world-weary tone. ‘Is there something you’d like to share with the class?’ She put her fist on her hip in impatient challenge.

Do teachers actually go through training to say things like that?

Marinette settled back in her seat, about to say, ‘No, nothing to share.’ What came out was, ‘I was just wondering where Adrien is. Is he off sick?’

Every pair of eyes in the room turned on her, maybe wondering why she, of all people, didn’t know. Wasn’t she supposed to be his girlfriend?

The teacher narrowed her beady eyes. ‘Not that it’s any of your business whether a fellow student calls in sick – but as a matter of fact, no.’ She returned to the lesson.

Marinette gripped her pen so hard, her skin went white. If he hadn’t called in sick, then where was he?

Maybe the school don’t know, either.

It was impossible to concentrate, after that. Even at lunch, sitting in the cafeteria with her friends, their laughter and light conversation bounced around her while she stared at her phone – at the one message she’d received from Adrien since they’d last spoken.

Adrien: Thinking of you.

Now that she knew he was Cat Noir…it was a weird message for him to send. Where were all his overflowing feelings, all his flowery words that made her want to sink through the ground with embarrassment just as much as she wanted to crush his lips to hers forever and ever? If he was now sending her three-word messages like that….

He probably doesn’t know what to say either.

He was struggling, too. They were in this together, after all.

She shot off a reply. Then another. And another. And –

Marinette: Thinking of you too.

Marinette: Where are you??

Marinette: Are you sick?

Marinette: I hope you’re okay.

Marinette: I’m sorry I’ve been a little distant since we last spoke. There’s just so much going on and….

And what?

She slumped back in her chair, then felt Alya’s arm slide around her shoulders.

‘Why don’t we go for a walk?’ Alya suggested.

Marinette opened her mouth to turn down the offer – then gave a small nod.

They gathered their things, said a quick goodbye to their other friends, and began strolling around the campus grounds. Marinette stuffed her hands in her pockets to stop them from checking her phone for a reply. Once she started, she’d be staring at the thing for the rest of the lunch hour, shoulders tensed in anticipation of that little message notification on the screen.

Alya took a deep breath, as if in warning that she was about to break the silence. ‘So, I was wondering. You said you were going to tell Adrien about…you know. Did you?’

Marinette chewed her lip. ‘I did.’

Alya’s eyes grew large. ‘That’s incredible! How’d he take it?’

Memory filled her mind – of a happier time, when they’d shared their biggest secrets – when they’d shared themselves. A time when the threat of any fallout seemed a million miles away, just some dark future she’d averted with the help of a time travelling friend. ‘I’d say he…took it very well.’

Alya halted, putting a hand on Marinette’s shoulder to stop her too. ‘So what’s going on with you two?’

The question she couldn’t really answer. Not fully, anyway. But maybe there was some other way to put it. ‘…Gabriel Agreste has decided to bring Adrien in on…some of his business ventures.’

‘Wow! And that’s…bad?’

Marinette sighed. ‘I know it’s difficult to understand. It sounds like a great opportunity – and he gets to spend all this time with his dad….’

‘But…?’

‘But…he’s monopolising a lot of Adrien’s time, which leaves no real room for a social life. And before you say it, I don’t just mean with me. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if now he has no time for anyone.’

‘Hmm.’ Alya rubbed her chin in thought. ‘Now that you mention it…Nino did tell me Adrien’s stopped replying to his texts and seemed really distant yesterday.’

Her blood iced. She’d really hoped she was wrong.

‘But Marinette…there could be all kinds of explanations. It’s only been a couple days.’

‘I know, but….’ She hugged herself, her gaze darting away. ‘I guess I’m worried that if they spend enough time together, Adrien will…he’ll change.’

‘Change.’ Alya frowned. ‘Like…go mean?’

An image of Cat Blanc flashed yet again through her mind. ‘Something like that.’ She drew an imaginary line on the ground with her toes.

‘Marinette, Marinette, Marinette.’ Alya shook her head and gave a small laugh. ‘There is just no way of that ever happening, girl! Okay, okay, you obviously know Adrien better than I do – but this is Adrien we’re talking about. He’s, like, the nicest person in the world! And he isn’t the type to change for anyone.’

‘Yes, but…this is different. Gabriel has this hold on him that….’ She dropped her arms and let out a frustrated grunt. ‘It’s hard to explain.’

Alya gave her a sad smile. ‘I’m sure there’s a lot you’re not telling me – and that’s okay. I won’t push you. Just…I can see your feelings for him are real…so have some faith in him. Talk to him about it. I know that’s a thing you find hard but…friendships will always have their ups and downs. What makes good friends is that you talk about it and get through it…you know?’

Marinette swallowed.

Cat Blanc was in her ear again. ‘You’re not even listening.’

Alya was right, without knowing how right. So much could’ve maybe been avoided if she’d just spoken to Cat Noir about everything sooner – not just told him her worries and fears, but listened to his, too.

But it wasn’t too late. She could change things. From now on, she would listen to him. She would support him just as much as he’d supported her all this time.

‘Thanks, Alya.’ She threw her arms around her in a tight hug. ‘I'll do just that.’

In a bid to be unconscious as long as possible, Adrien spent the day in bed. But his problems only followed him into his dreams.

He was in the basement again. He’d snuck in on his own, now standing before his mother’s coffin, gazing at her while butterflies flitted around his face.

She was so perfectly preserved. In fact, she looked better than the last time he’d seen her in life. As if whatever scientific magic suspended her in the land of the living had somehow reversed time...reversed the effects of using the broken peacock miraculous.

‘Maman….’ He reached for her, his fingertips touching the glass – when she sat bolt upright, shattering the coffin lid.

He leapt away, breath short and mouth open in horror. Shards of glass were embedded in her flesh, but she didn’t bleed. Her heart no longer beat. She wasn’t really alive. She was a shell of whoever she was before.

Slowly, she climbed out of the coffin, taking one plodding step after another, towards him.

He backed down the runway, stumbling to the floor and crawling backwards, panting. ‘No – no, please.’

But she kept coming, as if she didn’t hear him – or didn’t care.

He slammed into something solid – someone’s legs. Heart in his mouth, he twisted just enough to see his father.

‘You can’t get away,’ his father told him, his mouth open wide enough to expose a set of inhumanly sharp teeth.

‘That’s what you think. Plagg – claws out!’

He punched his fist in the air, ready to transform – then remembered Plagg was gone. No one even knew he was in that basement, and there were sharks snapping in the water that bordered the runway. There was nowhere safe to turn. He was walled in by his parents and they would never let him go.

Ahead of him, his mother continued to come, now with her own fangs bared. They would sink into him and change him, make him like her – like his father – monsters.

His father twisted his wedding band. ‘You will do what we say. You will be what we want you to be.’ His tone was bland, not a shred of doubt that Adrien would obey. He twisted the ring so hard that his whole finger started spinning in circles on his hand.

Adrien went dizzy looking at it. His mind was no longer his own. The spinning turned into a whirlwind, dragging him in. Then he was falling down some dark tunnel and losing all sense of who he was.

In the depths of the tunnel, a face appeared, familiar and strange at once – Cat Blanc.

He grinned up at Adrien. ‘Soon, you’ll be like me.’ He reached for him, to pull him deep within – to assimilate him – to –

Adrien shot up in bed, breathless and sweating, his heart pounding loud enough to hear his pulse in his ears.

He stared around the room, trying to reorient himself with the ‘real’ world. Then he saw the time. He’d missed nearly all of school. Had Nathalie seen him and decided to let him be? Did anyone call him in sick?

Does anyone care?

He shook his head. That was a stupid question. He had friends. Where did these dark ideas come from?

‘I think you know,’ a voice sneered in his head, and his mind filled with an image of Cat Blanc again.

Shaking, he whipped out his phone to message Marinette. She’d beaten him to it. He read her messages with a growing smile, though it was tinged with sadness. She sounded concerned...and maybe as confused as he was.

It was a new feeling, knowing with such certainty that someone cared about him as much as he cared about them.

But I don’t deserve it.

He pushed the thought away and responded the only way he could, his fingers trembling so hard that it took him at least three tries to type out each word correctly.

Adrien: Sorry. I can’t believe this but I slept through the whole day. Can you pick me up so we can talk somewhere?

She must’ve been staring at her phone at that moment, because she replied a second later.

Marinette: YES!

Marinette: As soon as school’s over.

Adrien: I’ll be here.

Already, he felt a little better – but he had about an hour before she was due. For lack of anything better to do, he tried Felix again, not really expecting an answer. It was an hour earlier in London and his cousin would surely be in class.

When it went to voicemail, he left a message. ‘Hey, it’s Adrien. Just checking in, I guess. Give me a call.’

That was impersonal and detached enough…right?

As he was tucking away his phone, voices carried across the house. They were muffled but loud enough to reach his room, which meant someone must be shouting. Screaming, even.

Frowning, he left his room to investigate, following the sounds to his father’s office, where he stood outside the door and listened, hardly breathing.

‘You can’t just toss me away like this!’ a young girl was shouting. It sounded like….

Lila?

‘Young lady, we never had a formal agreement,’ his father said – quieter, but firmly enough for Adrien to hear through the door. ‘You offered to keep an eye on my son, out of concern over him getting mixed up with the wrong sort of friends. But I’ve solved that problem on my own. Adrien will be spending most of his time with me, learning the business. He’s my protégé now – just as I always intended for him. I have no use for you anymore.’

Adrien threw a hand over his mouth. Lila was helping my father spy on me?

Who did he think was the ‘wrong sort of friend’?

Does he know about Marinette?

‘Mr Agreste,’ Lila shot back, ‘you should know that if I really had no morals, I know exactly what kind of story I could spin to bring you down in a second.’

‘Are you threatening me?’ His father’s tone was cool and measured – menacing.

‘I’m making sure you know you’re lucky there are some lines I won’t cross – for now.’

Instead of a reply, Adrien heard footsteps – quick stompy ones that had to be Lila storming out. He leapt away from the door and made for the stairs, but not fast enough. He turned to make it look like he’d just come down, running his fingers through his hair.

‘Oh, hey, Lila!’ God, that sounded fake. ‘W-what’s brought you over?’

She turned a hot glare on him. ‘Oh, it’s you. I guess congratulations are in order.’

‘…congratulations?’ He flashed her his most hapless smile.

It was clear that she didn’t buy the act for a second – probably because she spent so much of her time pretending to be something she wasn’t, too. In another universe, maybe they could’ve been real friends.

She drew in close, close enough that he could feel her heavy breath on his face and he had to draw away. When his back hit the staircase banister, his dream returned to him – that feeling of entrapment.

‘Don’t expect to see any of your stupid friends anymore,’ she said with a nasty smile. Then she pulled away and sauntered to the exit, where the Gorilla let her out without a word.

Adrien exhaled loudly, touching his hand to his chest as he got his breath back. What the hell was all that about?

The office doors flung open and his father stalked into the foyer. ‘Oh, Adrien, you’re here. Good. It saves me having to ask Nathalie to deliver my message.’

Adrien straightened into some semblance of self-respect. ‘Message?’

‘I’m leaving for a business meeting that I expect to take the rest of the day.’ He passed Adrien a book.

Adrien was breathless as he took it. It was the grimoire – being handed to him – just like that.

‘Look at that while I’m out. I’ll send Nathalie’s translation to your phone. You need to learn as much as you can, if you’re going to be of any use to me. Tonight, you’ll be put to the test.’

Tonight….

Adrien swallowed down the dread that filled him. ‘Y-yes, Father.’ When in doubt, those two words were his failsafe.

He stared down at the book, his eyes tracing the mandala on the cover. This was real. After being shut out of just about everything to do with the miraculous…he was holding the grimoire.

His father was watching him – probably studying his reaction – registering the undeniable thrill he felt - and maybe the guilt he felt too. Then he turned away and headed for the front door, rattling off instructions to the Gorilla.

Adrien had been dismissed again. But that was okay, this time. Because he had the book. He’d been invited to learn its secrets.

Trembling, he hurried back upstairs to his room to wait for Marinette – and to read.

Chapter Text

As soon as school finished for the day, Marinette transformed into Ladybug and swung her way to Adrien’s house. When she peered through his bedroom window, he was on his bed, back hunched over, reading a book.

She tapped on the window, giving him a wave.

He tucked the book under his pillow and hurried to let her in. ‘It’s so good to see you.’ An open grin was plastered across his face – a grin that was so Cat Noir, it hurt. This was perhaps the thing she loved most about him – how boldly and unabashedly he shared his feelings.

‘And you,’ she said, sharing that smile. ‘So…I’m taking you away?’

‘Please.’

Her grin broadened, and she wrapped an arm around his waist. ‘Hold on tight!’

She pulled him out the window, using her yo-yo to swing from building to building until they landed in their usual spot facing the Eiffel Tower. When she released him, they stood at arm’s length, neither of them speaking or quite making eye contact.

He scratched the back of his neck, looking absurdly shy despite all they’d been through together so far. ‘It’s…strange being here with you like that…while I’m….’

‘I can fix that for you.’ She popped open her yo-yo and retrieved his ring, holding it out to him.

He stared at it and licked his lip – then shook his head and pushed her hand away. ‘I can’t.’

With a deep sigh, she dropped the ring back into the yo-yo. ‘I understand. And I really admire you for it. I just hate it.’

He laughed – and that laugh cut the tension that had arisen between them. She laughed too, even though nothing was funny. It was just one way of letting everything out. It sure beat crying again.

They sat down, facing each other. His eyes glittered in the afternoon sunshine – eyes she could stare into for the rest of time – but eyes that looked haunted and sad and guilty.

He took her hand. ‘I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve cut you out.’

Her brow lifted. ‘Are you kidding? I’m the one who’s gone silent on you. I’m the one who’s sorry.’

He shook his head. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong. I know all of this is too much to take.’

‘Not just for me, but for you too. Adrien….’ She took a breath for courage. ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and…I’ve been coming at this selfishly.’

‘What?’

‘No, listen. I’ve been really black and white about things – thinking Monarch is bad, and that’s all there is to it. But I know it’s more complicated than that. He isn’t just some big baddie. He’s a human being – and he’s your father – and that must be so hard for you.’

She pressed his hand. ‘I don’t really know what you’re going through. My dad’s great – the best. But you…I know you’ve dreamed of a relationship with your father for…forever. And I know how much you miss your mother. And suddenly you’re being handed all of it on a plate. I…I can’t blame you for wanting it all. You’re not taking sides. You’re just…being human. Sometimes…sometimes I forget what that’s like.’

Unable to stand the look in his eyes any longer, she dropped her gaze to his long slender fingers, made for piano. If only they could go somewhere, somewhere far away, just the two of them. Maybe some desert island in a remote sea. No thoughts of fathers, good or otherwise. No obligations to the faceless public. Just them and the sound of the tide moving in and out over the shore.

He lifted her chin with his hand, a sad smile on his lips. ‘You’re right too, though. He may be my father – and he isn’t just a big baddie - but he’s not a good person either. He’s just….’

‘…complicated,’ she whispered.

‘And so am I.’ He dropped his hand. ‘What my father promises…I can’t pretend there isn’t part of me that wants the same thing.’

Her heart thumped at his admission. It wasn’t surprising – but it was still somehow shocking.

His beautiful eyes hardened with anger. ‘Then I remember he’s keeping the kwamis in captivity – just like he keeps me. And I remember all the people he’s hurt and used to get what he wants. Even Lila –’

‘Lila?’ Her shoulders tensed. ‘What’s she got to do with it?’

‘Oh, I…learned today that he’s been having her spy on me or something.’

Her eyes rounded. ‘He what? I swear, that girl –’

He put up a hand to stop her. ‘I know. Believe me, I know.’

Something hung between them – something she couldn’t define. Maybe it was just that they were arguing. This wasn’t right. None of this was how she’d pictured it would be between them. They were supposed to live happily ever after – three kids – a hamster. How was any of that possible if there was all…this?

Maybe he felt it too, because he sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. ‘I’m so confused. I believe my father loves my mother and wants her back more than anything…but does that justify what he’s done?’

She tried to imagine it – to imagine being in Gabriel’s shoes. If Adrien died suddenly…how would she feel? What would she do? Would she be tempted to use their miraculous to end all of reality and bring him back?

Yes.

And maybe that was okay. Some things you were allowed to think…just as long as you didn’t act.

She touched his arm. ‘It’s okay if you sort of…hope your father wins.’

He blinked at her, his eyes wet. ‘It is?’

She nodded. ‘I think anyone would, in your position. Even I….’

‘…you?’

‘…last night…there was a moment when I…I was tempted to give in. To let you have what you want.’

His eyes rounded. ‘M’lady, no, you don’t –’

‘What I’m saying is…all these feelings are okay for us to have. What’s important is the choices we make, even while we’re feeling these things.’

He’d gone very still, like a statue – a beautiful statue, almost too good to be true. Then something shifted. His…aura, for lack of a better word. Somehow, he was very far away from her. ‘What if I make the wrong choice?’

‘What…what do you mean?’

‘Well…what if I do take a side…and it’s…not yours?’

Her blood ran cold, her body trembling. ‘Y-you’re not Cat Blanc. I erased that.’

‘No, you erased that moment. You can’t erase the potential. Whatever you saw…that’s still in me.’

She swallowed. His voice had changed – had hardened.

‘You said it yourself – I’m just being human, right? And being human includes making a lot of bad decisions and giving into temptation from time to time. What if I’m not strong enough to fight it off?’

‘Adrien – the very fact that you’re even asking me this proves that you’ll make the right choice.’

‘And if my father is using some form of crazy mind control on me? What then?’

Her eyes grew large. ‘So you believe me?’

‘It’s hypothetical – what then, Marinette?’

He said this with such heat that she drew back. He’d used her real name, too, even while she was dressed as Ladybug – just like Cat Blanc had.

‘I’m – I’m sorry. I –’ He stood, taking three stumbling steps backwards, away from her, and covering his face with his hands. ‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.’

She stood too, watching from a safe distance. What had happened to the carefree Cat Noir she’d known so long? It seemed that by giving up the costume, so much more had been lost too – and so quickly.

When Adrien removed his hands, he looked like himself again – but he was breathing hard. ‘It’s all just too much. That’s what I keep coming back to. It’s too much!’

‘I know,’ she whispered, trying to convince herself that he wasn’t frightening her. She couldn’t go being afraid of Adrien. That would help nothing. She had to be there for him, just as he’d been there for her so many times before...even when she didn’t realise it was him.

He let out a long breath, his chin lifting with new resolve. ‘You know what? You’re right. I’m going to make the right choice. In fact – if my father can stoop as low as spying on me, then I can do a little spying right back.’

‘What – what do you –’

‘Maybe being drawn into his lair is an opportunity. I can use it to find out as much information as I can about his plans – and get it back to you. Then you can use that however you need to. We can take him down together, M’lady. I don’t need to be Cat Noir to fight by your side.’

‘That’s…that might be really dangerous, Adrien.’

‘I don’t care. In fact – let’s start this right now. I have information for you already.’

Despite her misgivings, her Ladybug instincts prickled. ‘What do you know?’

‘Nothing as solid as I’d like – but….’ When he paused, it was clear this was harder for him than he was pretending it was.

‘You don’t have to do this.’

That seemed to be what he needed to carry on. ‘My father said all of this began a long time ago. For all I know, he’s been messing around with the miraculous my whole life.’

‘But…we never heard of Hawk Moth or any of this stuff until after your mother….’

‘I know. So, what were they doing before that?’

One key word stood out to her. ‘They?’

‘My parents.’

She blinked at him. ‘You mean…your mother was involved?’

He nodded, his jaw set. ‘No one’s told me this in as many words but…Nathalie - my father’s assistant? She’s been exhibiting all the same symptoms that my mother did before her death. It’s identical, M…M’lady.’ He smiled crookedly at his near-slip-up.

‘Why does that mean….’ The answer snapped into her head. ‘Nathalie is Mayura!’

‘Bingo.’ He cocked a finger at her. ‘Soooo…if Nathalie was using the peacock to create sentimonsters…that means so was my mother.’

‘But why? And what kind?’

He shrugged. ‘No idea. But it must’ve been big – or at least frequent. I’ve been watching Nathalie. She hasn’t just dropped dead overnight. This has been in gradual stages. She gets worse every time.’ His delivery was cold – numb. How hard was he working to detach himself from this story?

Even though the story revolves around him.

She took a deep breath. ‘Okay. But your father used the peacock recently and he seems fine…doesn’t he?’

‘You mean apart from being out of his mind? Yeah, I’d say so. But when my mother and Nathalie used it, the peacock was broken. They fixed it somehow.’

‘Y-you’ve seen it?’

‘…no. The…the peacock isn’t there anymore.’

‘…what do you mean?’

‘I mean…I’ve seen every kwami on display and there are five missing – Tikki, Plagg, Pollen, Daizzi, and Duusu. I mean, unless you count Nooroo, who’s with my father everywhere he goes.’

It was startling, hearing him speak with such authority about the kwamis – about matters she'd been trained to think of as Guardian secrets. For some reason, she thought of that book he’d been reading when she’d knocked on his window. A book he’d hidden under his pillow.

The grimoire?

She cleared her throat. ‘Do you…have any theories about where the peacock’s gone?’

‘I do – Felix.’

‘Felix?’

‘I think he made some kind of trade – but why, I don’t know. Whatever it was, it had to have been important. Either that or it was a whim – but I haven’t quite given up on all of humanity just yet, so I prefer to think he had a reason.’

She chewed on her lip, trying to process all the information he’d just thrown at her. ‘That’s…good work, Adrien the Spy.’

He performed a dramatic bow, low enough that his golden hair brushed the ground. Her lungs opened wider at his momentary lapse into Cat Noir. Thank god it was still in there somewhere.

When he'd righted himself, his expression was serious once more. ‘There’s something else. Something more important than everything else I’ve said.’

‘W-what is it?’

He stared at his shoes a moment – then looked up at her again, his gaze fighting to stay on her face. ‘Tonight…my father’s planning his next attack tonight.’

‘…so soon? Well – now I know in advance, I can prepare myself, bring in help –’

‘He wants me to akumatise someone.’

Every thought in her head skidded to a halt. ‘He…you?’

He nodded.

‘But…but that’s impossible! Adrien, you have to tell him no!’

‘Of course. But if that’s not enough?’ Some other question lay beneath his words. Something like…what if my father uses that ring on me and I have no choice?

He stepped closer and took both her hands, holding them up to his chest, pressing them to his heart. ‘Marinette,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to have to do. But if you want me to keep giving you information…I think I need to play along. Not only that but…I’m worried about what he might do to someone I love if I try to fight it.’

She squeezed his hands hard, digging her nails into the palms. She wanted to scream at him that there was some other way, but her mind came up with nothing.

Yet.

‘Just promise me, Adrien. Promise that things won’t change between us – that this won’t change you.’

He glanced away, at the clouds – at the Eiffel Tower – at the city – as if seeking strength from the skyline. Then he met her eyes again. ‘I promise.’

Then he hugged her fiercely, and she fell into the embrace, gripping him close, her heart heavy in her chest.

Oh, Adrien. If only I could believe you.

Chapter Text

Adrien wrapped his arms tight around Ladybug, warm and safe against her as she carried him over the rooftops, back to the mansion. He nestled his head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent, some perfume that had faded but still gave off notes of lavender.

Her words echoed in his head.

‘Just promise me, Adrien. Promise that things won’t change between us – that this won’t change you.’

He’d promised – but he was a liar. Because things had already changed. And they both knew it – especially him.

If only they could run away together to some private island where they could sip coconut water and eat pineapples until they dropped in the endless sun. Yet even as he longed for this – even as he clung to her, arms around her waist – his hands itched for a book he’d stuffed under his pillow the instant he’d seen her at the window. A book he was hiding. A book he wasn’t supposed to have.

When they landed on his window ledge, she didn’t release him. She stared into his eyes, hers big and blue, and held him close, so close that he could feel her heartbeat. It was fast – like his.

She’d carried him before, but that was different. They hadn’t known each other’s identities then. It was easy to pretend it was just a superhero swooping in to rescue a civilian.

But after all they’d uncovered…being pressed up against her like that, his skin burned. Without his own transformation, it felt like being undressed in front of her. There was no hiding from her gaze.

She was so powerful – and he was nothing. She’d always been more important than him, but now he didn’t even have a miraculous. He couldn’t even pretend to stand on equal footing with her.

Maybe she read the doubts in his mind, because she took his face between her hands and kissed him. It was so bold, so not Marinette, that he froze against her – then melted into the moment, kissing her in return, his hands finding their way up her back, fingers threading through the ends of her hair.

Yet, his heart didn’t only pound with desire. It pounded with guilt. He could feel the book watching him from within his room – could almost hear it calling to him, like the heart in that Edgar Allan Poe story.

Tell her. Just tell her.

His confession tickled his throat, crawling into his mouth – and he kissed her harder. Anything to stop himself from saying words he could never take back.

She pulled away, gasping, her cheeks flushed. ‘That was…wow.’

He laughed a little. ‘Y-yeah. It was.’

She licked her lips – lips he already wanted to touch again with his own. But it wasn’t safe, them being on the window ledge like this. His father could come into his room at any moment and see them. Then he’d know – he’d figure it all out.

With a look of apology, Adrien detached himself from her. ‘My father….’ The word was like spell. Like magic – black magic. She was only a foot away, and yet she may as well have been on another world.

‘…oh!’ She took a step back, as if allowing space for the wall that was already rising between them. ‘Oh, right, of…of course….’

She was growing more distant by the second. And somehow, standing there with her didn’t fix it. It only made the gulf between them more apparent, more painful.

He pushed open the window and hopped inside, staring up at her – his inspiration – the love of his life – the girl he was hiding things from, even after he’d shared his identity. ‘I…guess I’ll message you later. And see you in school.’

‘…yeah.’ The way she was looking at him…why did this feel like goodbye?

Then she smiled and saluted him before leaping away, as if she had to do it fast or she’d never leave.

His body was hot with some feeling he only half-understood – yet he raced to the bed, anxiety gripping his heart. What if it wasn’t there anymore? What if someone had taken it?

But who would take it? He’d been given it. It was his – as long as he didn’t tell the one person who needed to know.

He lifted the pillow, his breath coming a little more easily when he saw the grimoire. Then he pulled out his phone and sat cross-legged on the duvet, staring at the book in his lap. His hands trembled around it. As much as he yearned to read it, to study its contents, to understand…he couldn’t bring himself to open it. Not after the evening he’d just spent with Ladybug.

‘This is wrong.’ Saying this out loud made it feel even more wrong. It was an admission – a truth he needed to hear, even if from himself.

‘I should tell her I have it. I should give it to her.’

A voice responded in his head – a voice so like his own, but colder. ‘But then she might keep it from you, just like Master Fu did.’

He gripped the book harder, the strain making the veins stand out on the backs of his hands.

‘Think about it,’ the voice carried on whispering in his mind. ‘At last, you’re learning things – and with that knowledge, you might finally be Ladybug’s true partner.'

‘But I won’t have earned it. I want Ladybug to entrust it to me.’

A fantasy played out in his head, of giving her the book – of the smile she might beam back at him. ‘Oh, Adrien, thank you!’ she'd say. ‘But you should keep it. Read everything Master Fu taught me. It’s only fair!’

That other voice in his mind laughed with derision. ‘You know that’ll never happen. She’s the Guardian. That will always make her different. You’re just the sidekick.’

The word was like an obscenity – or a curse on his head.

‘Your father doesn’t think so, though,’ the voice cooed. ‘He wants you to be something more. He gave you that book because he trusts you.’

His hands were vibrating. ‘…but he’s my father. I can’t trust him.’

The voice fell silent. And just as well. It was a little too Faustian for comfort.

He stroked the front of the grimoire, his fingers tracing the curves and lines of the mandala. With just his thumb and forefinger, he began to lift the cover – then froze.

‘Look at that while I’m out,’ his father had said. ‘You need to learn as much as you can, if you’re going to be of any use to me. Tonight, you’ll be put to the test.’

What test? And if he passed it…what then?

‘You’ll show them,’ the voice returned.

Show them what?

‘Who you really are. What you’re capable of.’

He shivered all the way down to his toes.

‘Promise that things won’t change between us – that this won’t change you.’

What if it didn’t change him? What if it couldn’t…because the darkness was already there? Even just the way he’d snapped at Ladybug earlier on that rooftop…maybe Fu was wrong about him. He was corrupt – too angry, too emotional to wield the power of destruction safely.

She’d got it all wrong, with Cat Blanc. She shouldn’t have saved him, shouldn’t have felt compassion. The moment she found out Cat Noir’s identity, she should’ve taken his ring from him before he could hurt anyone.

Because he would. Every bone in his body knew that he would.

And if he was already a lost cause…it didn’t matter if he read the grimoire.

He flipped it open before he could change his mind.

True to his word, his father had sent him a file – a translation of the coded text that bordered the illustrations in the book. Had Master Fu managed to translate it, too? Or Ladybug? How much of this thing did she understand?

And even with the translation…how much was he expected to grasp? At least with fencing or piano or Chinese, there were clear expectations, targets to reach. This was…something else.

Each double-page spread featured a different miraculous holder. With no better ideas, he took out his phone and started taking photos of pages of interest, making notes in a memo app, jotting down observations.

He got through the bee miraculous, the snake, the fox – then turned the page and his breath caught. Because it wasn’t her. The costume was a little similar but…it wasn’t his Ladybug.

Somehow, there had been another holder before Marinette – and another – and another – going back generations. And maybe one day, she would give up the title and someone else would take up the mantle.

Someday, she would no longer be Guardian.

Someday, she would forget him.

A deep chill settled in his chest, as if someone had just hollowed him out and filled him with ice.

He shifted on the bed, forcing himself to turn the page again. Dread pooled in his gut, anticipating who would face him next.

One of his own predecessors. A prior Cat Noir – or Dark Grimalkin, as he called himself.

He looked nothing like Adrien – stocky with broad shoulders and an enormous chest, muscle everywhere, suggesting he was a lot older. Rather than a mask, he wore a full helmet, and armour, like a knight from the Middle Ages but…stronger. Deadlier. There was nothing remotely playful about him.

As impossible as it seemed…Plagg had formed some kind of relationship with the man in the illustration…and that stung. Like finding out the love of your life had a string of lovers before you.

Was he better than me?

Probably. No way someone as intimidating as that ever let anyone push him around and akumatise him.

With a grunt of disgust, he tossed over the page, replacing the cat with the butterfly – the miraculous he would have to use soon. The holder depicted in the book didn’t look evil. Maybe the butterfly didn’t always have to be used for bad things. Maybe the holder corrupted it.

Maybe I don’t have to use it for bad things, either.

But he would have to, if he wanted to keep up the façade with his father.

Unless….

He flipped faster through the book, an idea percolating in his mind. With each image that flew past, the idea grew more concrete. If he was expected to be the next Hawk Moth or Shadow Moth or Monarch for the night –

(need to think of a name for myself)

– then maybe he could deliberately select kwamis to hand out…kwamis Ladybug could get back when she won.

He couldn’t go soft on her, of course, or his father would get suspicious. He might even take over and make things worse for her. But she would still win. She had to.

His nerves fluttered. He’d just thought of a plan – a plan that might actually work.

Setting aside the grimoire, he started scrolling through image search results for butterfly species on his phone.

Which kwami should he select tonight? Which would be of most use to Ladybug? Probably Kaalki or Barkk. With Kaalki, she could make a portal straight into the dome and come inside to retrieve the others – or at least face off directly with his father. With Barkk, he could touch the ball to the kwami zodiac, then give it to the akuma victim. When Ladybug won, she could use the ball to retrieve the kwamis.

The only trouble was, his father would never allow him to use the horse or the dog miraculous. For starters, he used Kaalki to send the other miraculous to the akuma victims. And he’d never allow him to use Fluff.

It would have to be something a little smaller, but also effective.

Or two somethings.

He snapped his fingers in epiphany.

Unification . He’d done it a few times before. He’d seen Ladybug do it dozens of times. He could unify Roaar and Wayzz – give both Clout and Shelter to Ladybug. With those powers, she could defend herself in a hundred different ways. She could even get Juleka and Nino to help her.

He’d need to tell Marinette, of course, so she understood and didn’t imagine he was trying to hurt her.

‘What about the book?’ that voice whispered in his mind again – the devil to his inner angel.

He squared his shoulders with decision. ‘I’ll tell her about that, too. After all – I can’t start doing the same things I was upset with her for.’

Something loosened within, his chest lightening. It would be okay. He would be okay.

I’m not evil.

He closed the search results and pulled up Marinette’s number – when his bedroom door opened, a tall figure filling the frame.

Adrien’s fingers were trembling again, so badly that he nearly dropped the phone. ‘F-Father.’

His father glanced at the grimoire discarded on the bed. ‘Have you been studying it, like I told you to?’

‘…y-yes. I’ve –’

‘Good. Because it’s time.’

‘…time for what?’

His father gave him a long, cold look, as though he’d just said something stupid. ‘Time to see what you’re really made of.’

Chapter Text

On shaky legs, Adrien followed his father out of his room, down the stairs, to the office – to that special spot in front of his mother’s painting. She gazed vacantly over his head, smiling at nothing.

His father held his hands behind his back. ‘Would you like to do the honours?’

‘…me?’

‘Of course. We’re a team, aren’t we?’

A team. My father...and me. ‘S-sure.’ He leaned forward with both hands, reaching for the painting, touching it.

‘A little further to the left.'

‘Oh. R-right.’ He moved his hands and pressed – then leapt back just as the floor started dropping, drawing them down into the waiting mouth of the basement.

At the bottom, they exited and headed down the runway. He held his breath as they neared the coffin at the end – but it was sealed, hiding his mother’s body from view.

Without a word, they slipped through the back door, navigating the underground labyrinth, then stepped into the second lift, rising back up. How had this already begun to feel familiar, like a routine?

When they emerged in the dome, his father stepped away, his eyes scanning him up and down in appraisal. Adrien fought to stand straight and tall, to maintain eye contact. Whatever he did, he couldn’t appear weak.

His father smiled. ‘Did you look through the grimoire, like I told you to?’

‘Yes, Father.’

‘Good. And I suppose you have questions?’

‘Yes, Father.’

‘Well, save them for later. We have much to do. The best learning comes from experience.’

Adrien flinched, then nodded.

Before he had time to process what was happening, his father was unclipping the brooch from his shirt and handing it to him – a small purple butterfly. His heart raced, and not entirely from fear.

If Ladybug were there – if she’d been given the brooch so easily – she’d stow it away in the miracle box, safe and sound. Then Monarch would defeated. No more akumas. Maybe no need for Paris’s favourite heroes.

But she wasn’t there. He was, and he clipped the brooch to his shirt.

Out flew a buzzing bumbling ball of purple and excitement – Nooroo. ‘Ooh, a new holder!’

‘My son,’ his father introduced him.

‘Ooh, that’s so sweet!’

That wasn’t the adjective Adrien would’ve applied to it. Nooroo clearly had a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.

His father held out his hand. In his palm sat a small pair of shades – the miraculous of the horse.

I could use it and create a portal. I could get out of here and bring the miraculous back to Marinette.

But then his father would know he was on her side. And he still had all the other miraculous – including the rabbit. He could undo Adrien’s escape…but he would remember. He would use it against him.

Swallowing, Adrien snatched up the shades and put them on. Kaalki burst out, shooting him a withering look. Obviously not as brainwashed as Nooroo – yet.

His father’s mouth twitched, like he was waiting to be impressed but preparing himself to laugh instead. ‘If you’ve been studying, you must know what to say.’

This was a test Adrien would pass. ‘Kaalki – Nooroo – unify.’ He clasped his hands together, feeling the energy rush through his body, different from the feeling of channelling Plagg.

He was enveloped in a mist of purple and grey. When it cleared, he looked down at himself, his mouth hanging open. He was in a rich purple variant of his Cat Noir suit, minus the tail. White stripes wound their way around and up his thighs and arms, and there was a butterfly wing ‘face’ pattern across his chest. He looked like a living, walking Rorschach test. What the hell did it say about him?

‘H-how do I look?’ He put out his arms and did a turn as if he were modelling one of his father’s clothing designs. This is all just a part I’m playing. Just a part.

His father’s mouth was puckered in consideration. Then he pulled out his phone and snapped a photo, handing the phone across.

Adrien’s eyes widened at his own image. His mask was the same purple as the rest of his costume, with large white diamonds around the eye holes. And he had the same Cat Noir hair, but with tall black antenna in the place of cat ears. In another context, they might have looked comical – but somehow, they looked menacing.

Suppressing a shudder, he chanced a look at his father, whose eyes were narrowed at him, as if maybe he too was making comparisons with Cat Noir.

Stomach twisting with sickness, Adrien waited for his father to say something, even if it was damning. Anything to quell this awkward silence. But his father just…kept…staring….

Adrien handed back the phone. ‘So….?’

‘Your hair.’

‘…w-what about it?’

‘It’s changed completely. In fact, everything has. I hardly recognise you as my son.’

That makes two of us.

‘If you can change so dramatically, no wonder I haven’t been able to nail down the identities of Ladybug and Cat Noir.’

Adrien struggled to keep his face neutral. How was he getting away with this?

Then again…how long had it taken him and Marinette to recognise each other? You only saw what you expected to see. Your mind blocked out the rest.

His father tapped his chin. ‘You need a name.’

‘The Purple Emperor.’

His father arched an eyebrow. ‘You really did come prepared.’ His words were approving, but his expression was not – and Adrien knew why.

An Emperor outranked a Monarch.

‘Are you planning to overthrow me?’

Adrien held his breath, not trusting himself to reply.

His father smiled and put up one of his hands. ‘A joke. I’ll allow you your adolescent indulgence.’ He put the phone in his pocket and replaced his hands behind his back. ‘Now then – do you understand the butterfly’s power?’

‘I think so. You home in on negative emotions, then use them to take over people.’

His father shook his head slowly. ‘It’s far more subtle than that. The butterfly gives the power of empathy – and transmission. It will help you sense any emotion, not just the negative. Then, you can manipulate it.’

Manipulate it.

‘Try it now, and you’ll see what I mean.’

Adrien’s mouth had gone dry. ‘T-try it?’

‘That’s why I gave it to you, isn’t it?’

‘…y-yes, of course, I just….’ This is it. I really have to do this.

‘You can do this, Adrien. Just close your eyes and let all your thoughts drift away. Open yourself completely to whatever comes in. Take as long as you need.’ He made it sound like a simple mindfulness exercise rather than spying on someone else’s thoughts and feelings and using them.

And yet…there was softness in his voice, and genuine encouragement, as if he were trying to inspire him. Had he ever heard his father speak to him that way before?

Never.

Adrien shut his eyes, his mind dancing with thoughts.

What would Marinette think if she could see me now?

Would she even recognise me?

Would she be disappointed?

‘Remember – set your thoughts aside. Clear your mind, Adrien.’

‘R-right.’ He focused on a point deep in the darkness behind his eyes – a sort of blue balloon – and watched it float away until his body went cool and light, as if his spirit had drifted out of it and he was no longer in the dome. He was somewhere timeless and spaceless, in a soup of pure energy.

Then he felt it. He saw it.

Joy came at him as a beam of yellow sunlight.

Sorrow was the blue of the Seine.

Rage was the red of Ladybug’s suit.

And there were so many other emotions, secondary colours made from primaries, and all the tertiary feelings in between.

He staggered. The rainbow of emotions radiating from the city was overwhelming. Tears prickled in his eyes as the feelings of his fellow citizens washed over and through him, becoming his own.

‘There’s too much.’ His father’s voice sounded like it was projecting from some distant realm. ‘You need to choose one to single out, then follow it like a shot in the dark.’

Right. Choose one. But which?

With etheric arms, Adrien reached out for serenity, the green of his mother’s eyes.

‘Find insecurity,’ his father commanded.

‘Why always the negative emotions, if you can feel everything else?’ His own voice sounded far away, too, as if it belonged to another person.

‘When we allow ourselves to be consumed by negative emotional states, we are at our weakest and therefore easier to manipulate.’

Then why are you so hard to manipulate?

His father’s logic was flawed. Foolish decisions were often made in a state of blind joy – and great strength could be drawn from being forced into a deep dark hole of desperation.

Like now.

But there was no point debating with him, so he tried to focus his mind on what had been ordered – insecurity.

This didn’t narrow things down at all. It was incredible just how much of it was walking around the streets of Paris – probably the whole world – or huddling in private rooms. His arms ached to reach out to each person – to embrace them – to assure them it couldn’t possibly be that bad. No matter how wrong things felt today, there was always tomorrow.

Could he do that? Could the butterfly be used for good? The grimoire hadn’t mentioned it, but…maybe the Guardians just didn’t know. Maybe they hadn’t fully explored the butterfly’s potential.

More importantly…could he get away with it, with his father watching?

Only one way to find out.

He let go with his mind, sinking into that sea of insecurity until he was swimming in it, feeling its different shades. One boy’s despair came screaming to the surface, so loud that Adrien’s knees buckled and he slammed his hands to his ears in agony.

‘You found one.’ His father’s voice was barren of feeling. ‘Now make him yours.’

Mine?

He opened his eyes, his mouth, to ask for more instructions – but he couldn’t make his voice work. His head throbbed with the midnight-black pain of the boy’s soul. How did his father do this, day in, day out? How could he stand it? Was he that numb to it? Had he always been?

‘Stop, please stop! Shhh,’ he urged the boy, with his mind.

The boy wasn’t listening – or perhaps his pain was too loud. It was like a knife through Adrien’s brain, his heart, his gut. Maybe this was how the butterfly corrupted people. It would take a rare person to bear all those emotions without going insane. His whole body stung, like he’d been sliced open and drenched in salt.

‘Please – please! Just – just stop. Stop!’

Adrien dropped to his knees, holding himself, rocking on the floor while his father stared down at him, waiting for him to sort himself out. The pain mingled with anger, red as fire, burning through his veins. Anger at his father, for putting him through this – and anger at the boy who had inadvertently caused his humiliation.

He balled his fists at his side, dragging himself back to his feet, his breath heavy.

‘SILENCE!’

The pain stopped so suddenly, it was a wonder it was ever there.

The boy was listening, radiating a new emotion – fear. Because Adrien had just spoken to him like his father.

He swallowed, loosening his fists. It’s just a part. This isn’t me – it’s just another role, like all the other ones I have to play in life. I’m not Adrien Agreste right now.

‘I am the Purple Emperor.’

‘The Purple Emperor?’ he heard the boy say as if he were in the same room. ‘Who's that?’

‘The one who is going to protect you. You’ve been the victim of terrible bullying. You’re small for your age, and you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. You keep wishing for a friend who's bigger and stronger, to come and protect you. Well…I’m that friend.’

He could sense the boy’s wide-eyed wonder at his deepest wish coming true. His emotions shifted a second time – now to delirium, happiness. You could use the butterfly to comfort someone.

But with his father watching…that wasn’t how the rest of this would play out. Anyway, Adrien had to get the miraculous back to Marinette.

He reached out his hands. ‘Wayzz and Roaar.’ It wasn’t a question.

His father’s brow lifted. ‘You’re using two of them?’

‘We’re going to throw everything we have at that bug.’ He tried to inject bug with as much disgust as he could muster. ‘Clout to crush her, Shelter to protect her opponent.’

His heart pounded as his father narrowed his eyes at him, perhaps trying to divine if there was some ulterior motive. Adrien squared his shoulders, keeping his chin up and face hard – unreadable.

Nodding, his father’s mouth curved into a smile. ‘You have been studying.’ He moved to the zodiac, retrieving the requested miraculous from the kwamis’ cages, then handed them over.

After all this time, his father finally approved of him.

Adrien thrust out his hand. ‘Voyage!’ A portal opened before him, and he shoved the two miraculous through it, into the waiting hands of the boy he'd selected.

‘Wear these and allow the kwamis to tell you how to use them. I will grant you the size you need to match these powers. Now it’s your turn to make others feel small and vulnerable. You don’t have to be frightened of anyone anymore. Now they will be frightened of you .’

He felt the boy’s assent.

Some dim part that was not the Purple Emperor, that was still Adrien Agreste, pounded at his mind, screaming at the boy, ‘Don’t listen! This isn’t the way!’

But it was too late. The boy was already possessed. Hardly trying, Adrien visualised the beast he wished his victim to become – a crimson gargantuan hulk with square features, as tall as the Eiffel Tower, now armed with both Clout and Shelter.

And as the boy transformed, something unexpected happened. Adrien could see through his creation’s eyes and sense his body as though it were his own.

Understanding hit him too late. When Ladybug arrived on the scene, she would be fighting Adrien in more ways than they'd expected.

Chapter Text

In her room, Marinette hunched over her desk, trying to focus on the latest physics homework. But no matter how hard she stared at the paper or gripped her pen, forcing it to write the right answers, she just could not get her last conversation with Adrien out of her head.

She fell back in her chair and kicked at the floor, rolling backwards. A growl of frustration rumbled in her chest, then grew louder.

Tikki looked up from the Clara Nightingale video she was watching on Marinette’s phone. ‘You okay?’

‘Of course I’m not okay. I’m –’ She hung her head back over her chair, staring at the ceiling. ‘Oh, Tikki, what am I going to do?’

Her kwami flew overhead, looking down at her. ‘I think you should talk to Plagg.’

Plagg…. Just the idea made her heart clench. ‘I don’t know if I can face it. As long as he’s hidden away in the miracle box….’

‘…you can pretend he’s still with Adrien.’

‘…y-yeah.’

Tikki’s eyes were warm with sympathy. ‘I understand. But Plagg probably knows him better than anyone – and I think you could really use his insight right now.’

Marinette chewed at her lip – then sighed and sat up. ‘Alright, Tikki. You’re probably right – as usual.’

She dragged herself to her feet and slinked over to the miracle box, punching in the code to open it. ‘Plagg…I need you. Come out, please.’

The truth was he could fly out at any time. She wasn’t the sort of Guardian who kept kwamis locked inside the box or…starved them to keep them weak. But Pollen, Daizzi and Plagg had been keeping out of sight, probably out of respect for her.

Plagg flew out, a stark reminder of both what she loved and what she’d lost. Her mouth filled with some bittersweet flavour.

‘Marinette needs to talk something over with you,’ Tikki explained. She gave Plagg a look that plainly said, Don’t mess this up.

He looked thoughtful, his mouth lopsided so that only one of his fangs showed, then turned to Marinette. ‘I need cheese. I can’t think on an empty stomach.’

She’d just thrown food in the box a short time ago, but she pointed at one of her dresser drawers anyway. ‘In there.’ She crossed the room and threw herself on the chaise-longue, where she stared at the ceiling again.

Plagg joined her with a large chunk of camembert – which had not been easy to convince her parents to give her without explanation. She’d never really been a cheese fan, but now she was sneaking it up to her room like an addict. Plagg wasn’t easy to manage when you had parents who actually paid attention to you.

‘What can I do for you?’ he asked through a mouthful.

Hovering beside him, Tikki shook her head at his uncouthness. What a fascinating partner he made for someone as well-groomed as Adrien.

Marinette took a breath for strength. ‘Adrien is working with his father.’

Plagg choked on his cheese. ‘He would never.’

‘He has no choice. He claims he’s going to be a spy and double-cross him.’

‘Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense. So, what’s the problem?’ He threw the rest of the cheese into his gaping maw.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows to look at him more directly. ‘The problem is that I just don’t know if I can trust that everything will be okay. Adrien the Spy? I know he means well, but did you see the way Gabriel controlled him with that ring?’

Plagg frowned. ‘I didn’t get a good look, being tucked inside a shirt – but I wouldn’t put it past him. The way he pushes Adrien around is just diabolical. Nothing Adrien does is ever good enough. He can practise piano all day and all night and play the song perfectly, with not a note out of place – with real feeling, too – and his father will sit in silence, then tell him to practise more. His Mandarin intonation is never right. If he places second in fencing, it’s as good as losing. An A- on a test means he’s not applying himself. Whatever he does, he’s a disappointment.’

Marinette’s mouth had fallen open through his speech. She’d known things were bad but…. ‘Does Gabriel care about him at all?’

‘Oh yes. I mean…I think so. But…he has a funny way of showing it.’

‘I don’t – I don’t understand. Why would Adrien even want a relationship with someone like that?’

Plagg furrowed his brows at her, as if she’d just asked something stupid. ‘Marinette. Since his mother died, his father is all he has.’

‘I know, Plagg, I know, just….’ She rubbed her temples to ease the tension headache that was forming. ‘So his father’s opinion of him is really important to him?’

‘Absolutely. He would do anything to win his father’s approval.’

‘Anything? Even…playing along with Monarch? Using the miraculous to fight me? Because there’s meant to be another attack tonight – and Adrien said this time it’ll be him doing the akumatising.’

Plagg drew back in horror. ‘My Adrien would never do that.’

‘I wish I had your conviction – but Adrien told me himself. I mean, if he’s being controlled and has no choice….’

‘I’m sure he has a plan. He’s smarter than you’ve ever given him credit for.’

Marinette winced.

Tikki turned on Plagg. ‘You’re supposed to be reassuring her.’

His eyes were wide. ‘Someone should’ve told me that.’

Marinette put up her hands to stop Tikki from retorting. ‘It’s okay. He’s…he’s right. I hate to admit it, but –’

An unearthly crack of thunder cut her off. The room shook as if in an earthquake, tossing her off the chaise-longue and onto the floor, where she had to throw her hands out to keep from slamming her head on the wooden boards.

‘What’s happening?’ she yelled over the noise.

‘It must be that akuma attack!’ Plagg yelled back.

Her blood ran cold. So soon? She really had to face this now? She wasn’t ready, she – she would never be ready for what was coming.

She hurried to the window just in time to see a purplish-red Godzilla-sized beast with hard green eyes, stomping across the city. He was some distance away, but she had a clear view because he’d flattened half the buildings in his way. As for the people inside those buildings or on the surrounding streets....

Nothing a few miraculous ladybugs can’t fix. No pressure.

‘It’s like Strike Back!’ Tikki exclaimed.

‘But bigger!’ added Plagg.

They really weren’t helping things.

Could this really be Adrien’s doing? Was he truly capable of sending this to her – when he knew she didn’t even have his support to fight it off? When she only had a few of the miraculous back?

Anger made her hands ball up into tight fists, while tears welled in her eyes.

Bracing herself for the beast’s next step, she gripped one of the wooden beams holding up the platform for her bed, keeping her feet solid on the floor and gritting her teeth until the shaking stopped.

Whoever was behind this attack…she had a job to do. She couldn’t get sidetracked by her personal feelings. There were people out there – people who needed her to save them.

‘Plagg – back in the box! Tikki, spots on!’

Transformed, she hurtled up through the roof hatch, assessing the situation from the balcony. The city shook again as the beast took another slow, deliberate step. Being out there with him, he seemed even larger. She was like a real ladybug gazing up at the extent of a human.

She choked down her fear. There was no space for it. And there was no time to feel sorry for herself or mourn what she’d lost. She needed backup – and she knew just who to call.

It took two trips, but soon she had Pigella and Vesperia with her on a rooftop at what felt like a safe distance from the beast.

For now.

As the beast stomped slowly in their direction, Vesperia asked, ‘What’s the plan, Ladybug?’

Between thundercracks, Ladybug said, ‘We need to stop the beast in its tracks.’ She pounded a fist into her palm. ‘These may be the only miraculous I have now…but they’re good ones. Vesperia, I want you to sting him. Then Pigella, it’s on you.’

Pigella jumped up and down, her pink skirt flying in the air and fluttering around her. ‘I love the idea of fighting all these villains with happiness!’

Her joy was infectious. Ladybug couldn't help but smile a little.

The team is coming back together. Hopefully the most important team member would be back soon too.

She shook herself back into focus. ‘Right. Vesperia – you’re up!’

Vesperia took off without another word, aiming straight for the beast, who was a step away from the Eiffel Tower, probably crawling with tourists wondering what on earth had possessed them to visit that akuma-ridden city.

Ladybug watched with blossoming confidence – which was crushed when she saw the beast strike at Vesperia with a punch so strong that the tower was dust on impact.

Pigella raced to the edge of the roof. ‘Vesperia!’ Her voice was swallowed by the sound of collapsing buildings.

Ladybug held her breath, watching, waiting – until Vesperia flew out of the wreckage, back in their direction.

Pigella cheered and clapped her hands. Ladybug heaved out a breath in relief and gave her friend a weary smile…then saw the green electromagnetic turtle shell envelop the beast as it aimed directly for them, following Vesperia.

‘Oh my god, he –’ Ladybug slapped her hand over her mouth before the rest of that thought could come out.

Pigella turned to her. ‘What is it?’

She couldn’t speak – couldn’t even think of adequate words for what she was seeing.

Adrien’s using two miraculous on me at once. Maybe even more.

The revelation was like a punch to the gut. She staggered, her vision hazy.

Before she could fall, Pigella grabbed her, eyes wide with alarm. ‘Ladybug! Are you okay? What’s wrong?’

‘I….’ Her heart was like a wild animal trapped in her chest, fighting to get out.

How could he do this to me? Why would it even cross his mind?

Pigella gripped her shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes, drawing her out of her thoughts. ‘Ladybug, whatever it is…we could use a little bit of luck right now, don’t you think?’ The corner of her mouth tugged into a questioning smile.

Luck.

I still have to do this job. I’m Ladybug. I’m the Guardian. It doesn’t matter if my heart’s breaking. People are counting on me.

Swallowing, she drew away. ‘L-lucky charm.’

Come on, subconscious, please give me something good this time – a shrinking potion, maybe, or –

‘A strobe light?’ asked Vesperia when she landed back on the rooftop with them.

Or that.

Okay, okay…I can do this, I can work this out….

In fact…yes. A plan was forming. ‘The first thing we need to do is break Shelter.’

‘Shelter?’ the other two echoed, their brows raised in question.

‘He’s equipped with two miraculous - tiger and turtle. This makes him twice as dangerous. But if we can disable the power of the turtle, we’re in. And I know just how to do that. You two – stick to the original plan. I’ll get your opening.’ She stared directly at the oncoming monster.

‘This is so exciting!’ Pigella squealed.

‘Yeah. Exciting.’ Ladybug tried for a smile – and failed – then tossed her yo-yo and aimed straight for the beast.

To carry out her plan, she had to get close to his eyes. She swung back and forth in front of him, anchoring her yo-yo on any surface she could find within the growing piles of rubble. As more buildings fell, dust flew into her eyes, making it hard to see.

In the haze of brown and beige, a fist burst through, coming right at her. It seemed to move in slow motion, at least twice the size of her whole body.

Is this how things end?

If I get hit, who will use the miraculous ladybugs to bring me back?

Adrien – are you seeing this? Is this what you want?

Just as the fist was about to make contact, she snapped out of her dark thoughts and dodged. The fist slammed into a wall behind her, missing her by mere inches and covering her in dust.

Coughing, she pulled herself out and threw her yo-yo again, to get away, her breath short at the image forming in her mind. Of an alternate reality where she hadn’t evaded that blow. Where she’d died.

Would Adrien care? Would he pull a Gabriel and use their miraculous to bring her back?

Stop it – stop thinking about this! Just – stick to the plan!

She hurled her yo-yo at the beast, landing on the surface of Shelter and running on it, winding her yo-yo round and round the beast’s head. Holding on tight, she flashed the strobe light down through the shield, directly into the beast’s eyes, switching up the speed as high as it would go. The beast thrashed, making her legs swing into the air behind her, but she clung to those yo-yo ropes and kept the strobe running.

The extreme repeated flashing caused the beast to react in seizure. He flung his arms around, stumbling as he stepped, turning in dizzied circles and tangling up his feet. Finally, he did just what Ladybug had hoped he’d do – he attempted to punch her again but could no longer aim right.

She jumped off, letting the string fly around him, snapping back into the yo-yo. Disorientated, he slammed his fist into his own head. A fissure appeared in the shield, widening until Shelter cracked – and vanished – leaving the beast exposed.

Breathless, Ladybug dusted herself off.

Now time for my team to go into action.

Right on cue, Vesperia appeared from behind the beast. ‘Venom!’ She thrust out her fist, delivering the paralytic toxin. The beast froze with one foot raised partly off the ground, readying himself to take another earth-shattering step.

‘Gift!’ Pigella shouted from somewhere. The sky flashed, and the beast’s face softened with serenity, all muscles slack and a tiny smile playing on his lips.

Ladybug released a heavy breath of disbelief.

They’d done it. They’d won. It was over.

Almost.

She walked over to the villain, forcing her steps to be steady, as if she’d never had any doubts that they could do this. Adrien wasn’t the only one who had an image to maintain for the public. She searched the beast and removed a suspicious looking badge he wore, tearing it and releasing the akuma.

‘Time to de-evilise!’ She threw her yo-yo to capture the akuma. ‘Bye-bye, little butterfly!’ she called out with all the cheer she didn’t feel.

Then she threw the strobe light in the air. ‘Miraculous ladybug!’ Pink light filled the city as the damage was undone. Up and down the street, victims revived, looking around in bewilderment before…carrying on with their lives as if nothing had happened. How many understood how close they’d come to perishing forever?

The beast was now not a beast at all but a small boy. Although, when she drew closer to him, he was probably older than he looked. What emotion had Adrien played on for his first run? Insecurity?

‘What happened?’ The boy gripped his head and stared up at her and her companions. ‘Was I…?’

Ladybug nodded and reached out a hand to help him to his feet. ‘But it’s okay. We handled it.’ She grinned at her teammates and put out her fist. ‘Pound it?’

‘Pound it!’ They bumped their fists to hers.

‘A word of advice,’ Ladybug told the boy. ‘If people are making you feel small, this isn’t the solution. Next time, try doing big things instead. Oh, and – you have something of mine.’ She pointed at the bracelets he wore.

He stared at them in confusion, hurriedly removing them and handing them to her. ‘Thank you.’ He dashed away, clearly embarrassed.

Exhausted, Ladybug dropped the bracelets through the portal in her yo-yo. Two more miraculous back where they belonged. That was something, at least.

She turned to her teammates. ‘We’re about to de-transform. Go to your rendezvous points and I’ll collect your miraculous.’

They both nodded and leapt away.

Alone, Ladybug dropped her head, her face morphing with all the fury she’d been hiding from the others. Clout seemed to call to her from the miracle box. Her hands itched to punch something.

She leapt away, finding an alleyway where she could de-transform. When Tikki popped out, Marinette threw a macaron into her gaping mouth before she could say a word.

Hardly had Tikki swallowed it down before Marinette was already yelling, ‘Spots on!’ and transforming again, dashing out of the alleyway.

After I get their miraculous back, it’s time to have a little word with Adrien.

Chapter Text

When Ladybug broke the akuma, Adrien felt it. Felt the connection sever between him and his selection.

Victim.

The emotions rushed away from him, emptying him. He dropped to the floor, on his knees, hollowed out and gasping, trying to return to a normal state of being.

Each time he blinked, he saw Ladybug as he’d seen her through the beast’s eyes. Saw the angry red of her skin. Saw those eyes, large with shock and wet with grief she didn’t have time to process yet.

Still. She won, just like he’d known she would. And now she had two more miraculous.

That’s why I did it. I’m not a monster. I’m not the villain in this story.

With tight fists, he summoned the energy to push himself up, to stand again and meet his father’s cobalt eyes, normally so cool but now the blue at the centre of a flame.

‘Have you had time to get over your little fainting spell or whatever that was?’ his father sneered.

Adrien blinked at him. ‘It – it doesn’t affect you like that?’

‘Of course not. I’m stronger than you – as you’ve so vividly demonstrated.’

‘W-what?’

‘She won again! And she got two of the miraculous! How could you let this happen?’ He shouted this so loud that the words seemed to gain physical form.

Adrien flinched, prepared to be hit, but the strike didn’t come. He’d expected his father to be angry, but the reality of his rage was worse than he’d imagined.

He’s had his own Cat Blanc lurking inside all this time. How did I not see it?

He cleared his throat. ‘It was always a gamble. How was I supposed to know she’d have help?’ He kept his voice purposely measured. He had to remain in character.

Purple Emperor – that’s who I am, now. He’s only a Monarch.

The thought felt good – good enough to steady him and harden his stare.

His father stepped back, his gaze scanning him, taking in the change in how he held himself. The harsh lines in his face smoothed out, and a slow smile played across his lips. ‘I have to hand it to you, Adrien. You played that mercilessly. It was only your first time, and you threw yourself straight into it. But your recklessness cost us. Maybe we should’ve begun a little more slowly.’

Adrien shrugged. ‘What difference does it make? You haven’t won by playing it slow, have you?’ He braced himself for more anger, hardly believing he’d said that aloud. But if there was ever a moment when he could get away with it, it was now.

His father nodded. ‘You make a good point. Perhaps the way to victory is your way – brutal and punishing.’

Adrien swallowed and plastered on a smile that hopefully suggested he was pleased with the adjectives.

‘Our enemy won – but it was harder for her. Her little friends are nothing like Cat Noir. Without him, it’s only a matter of time before we can take her out.’

Adrien arched an eyebrow to disguise his alarm. ‘Do you plan to kill her?’

His father gave a little laugh and shook his head. ‘What do you take me for? I’m not in the business of murdering children. I’ve told you, Adrien – I only want to bring back your mother. Ladybug and her companions are keeping us from achieving our deepest wish.’

Adrien’s stomach twisted – with confusion, and with longing. His mind filled with the image of his mother as he’d seen her in the time burrow, close enough to touch and yet impossible to recover. Not unless he was prepared to erase everything that had happened since her death…including his ability to go back for her.

Then what would happen to reality?

Collapse on itself, probably.

‘De-transform, Adrien.’

With a gasp, he looked down at himself – at the costume he still wore. ‘I thought it would happen on its own.’

His father’s brow rose.

‘I mean – that’s what always happens on the news when you see Ladybug and Cat Noir…right? They’re so weak that they’re always dashing away before they get revealed, aren’t they?’

His bluster was rewarded with a grin. ‘Indeed – but not you. You’ve really taken to this. The costume remains when you feel fully certain of yourself and who you are. You’ve clearly found your calling.’

Adrien was speechless. My calling? All that time being Cat Noir…and this was what stayed? But I’m not the villain. This isn’t me. This isn’t –

His father tapped his foot with impatience.

Somehow, Adrien willed the magic words to move through his lips, returning to his normal clothes. Nooroo fluttered back to his original master, while Kaalki threw Adrien a look of utter disdain.

‘There’s no nobility in what you’ve done.’ Kaalki crossed her arms and looked away in a huff.

Don’t I know it.

His father was staring at him again, studying him. ‘Funny. You looked more like yourself when in costume.’

Adrien licked his lip and held his tongue.

‘Enough. Back into the house.’ His father headed for the platform.

Like the dutiful son he was, Adrien followed, cloaking himself in his thoughts. It’s not me. When I wear that costume…that’s not who I am. I’m only playing a part, playing a game, playing my father. I’m helping Ladybug. All of this is for her.

When they made it back to the office, his father stood before him, a frown on his face. ‘You’ll get another chance, Adrien. Don’t be too hard on yourself.’

Adrien struggled to keep his face straight. His father thought he felt bad over Ladybug winning? ‘Th-thanks.’

With a grunt that signalled the inevitable dismissal, his father left him, taking up his podium.

Adrien ducked out of the room, up the stairs, and into his room.

‘Don’t be too hard on yourself.’ Why couldn’t his father take that attitude with any of the normal stuff he was expected to do?

Dragging a hand over his hair, he sat on his bed, the grimoire open but discarded beside him. He slumped forward, releasing all the energy it had taken to maintain the role he’d played for his father. He could probably sleep for a month – if only his thoughts would give him rest.

He stared blankly across the room, seeing himself in that photograph his father took. Seeing himself in costume, as the Purple Emperor. ‘Is that really my calling?’

As if in answer, his bathroom door flew open. He leapt back, shoving the grimoire under his pillow and nearly falling off the bed when he saw Ladybug racing across the room.

She leapt onto the bed beside him, leaning in close…and not in a nice way. Her nose and forehead were scrunched up and her eyes narrowed like she was trying to work out if it was really him she was looking at. Maybe she was seeing the Purple Emperor, too.

He fought to stay still, waiting for her to finish her examination. At least she looked okay – physically, anyway. If he’d hurt her….

‘How could you do that to me? What were you thinking?’ Her voice was raw with the remnants of angry tears.

‘I was thinking of you, M’lady.’

She rolled her eyes.

‘No, really. I swear! I had this plan. I wanted to talk it over with you first, but there was no time. It just came to me, and then suddenly my father was telling me it was time to go. I promise everything I did was for you.’

‘Oh, right, I’m sorry – I don’t know how I didn’t see that you sending me King Kong armed with not just one but two miraculous at once, while I’m pretty much on my own, was done for me.’

‘I know how it looks – and you have every right to be angry – but please – hear me out.’

She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to say something convincing.

‘I thought if I sent you two at once, you could retrieve two at once. Two birds, one stone!’ He put up his hands, a pleading smile on his face.

‘…and what if I lost?’

‘Honestly…the thought never crossed my mind. I have full confidence in you, M’lady.’

She continued to glare at him – then loosened her arms, letting out a resigned sigh. ‘I don’t know why I’m surprised. You’re always diving in without thinking of the consequences, aren’t you.’

‘…I am?’

Her mouth dropped, like she thought he was an idiot. Then she started ticking items off her fingers as she spoke. ‘When you sacrificed yourself for me when we fought Gamer the second time – or when you fell off that lamppost when we were up against Lies – or –’

‘Okay, okay…I get the picture.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I didn’t mean to give the impression that I have a death wish. I really don’t, you know. I just –’

‘Have total faith in me. I know.’ All the anger – all the energy – drained from her, and she slumped on the bed, staring at her hands.

‘And that’s…bad?’

She sighed again. ‘No, it’s not bad. It means the world to me to know you think so highly of me. But Adrien – you have to understand that I don’t have total faith in me. And it isn’t some lack of confidence. I’m just being realistic. The stakes are high. I don’t have my kitty anymore.’

‘M’lady –’

‘I don’t have most of the miraculous. When I lost them, I thought I’d lost everything. Then you promised me that I hadn’t lost you. Please don’t break that promise.’ Despite how tough and powerful she’d seemed in battle, now she sounded small and fragile.

His heart throbbed with guilt. I’m not the villain I’m not the villain I’m not the –

He grabbed her hands, holding them to his chest. ‘That will never happen.’ He kissed each of her knuckles softly – then her lips.

She closed her eyes as he did it, her body relaxing, giving in. No, understanding – accepting his vow. When she opened her eyes again, she gave him a tiny smile. ‘I guess your plan was creative. You’re just so impulsive sometimes and…I guess it can be a little scary.’

A shiver flurried down his spine.

How much more afraid would she be if she’d seen me as the Purple Emperor? More afraid than she was of Cat Blanc?

He pressed her hands hard. ‘I wish I could get you some of the truly powerful miraculous. I thought Barkk or Kaalki, but there’s no way my father will allow me to use them that way. He needs them. He uses Kaalki to hand the miraculous to his selections.’

‘…selections?’

‘Victims.’

The way she was looking at him now…his slip-up had definitely been filed under Adrien is changing.

She freed her hands from his, shifting on the bed, her expression all business. ‘Is there any way to break in and take the kwamis back? Where does he keep the miraculous?’

‘They’re just sitting under the kwamis, in their cages. He must think he’s invulnerable. But there’s probably some kind of security. My father wouldn’t leave a thing like that to chance.’

‘But you’re allowed up there. You could go on your own and take the miraculous.’

‘And do what, exactly?’

She flinched.

God. His words had come out harsher than intended. ‘I’m sorry. It was a good suggestion. I just….’

‘…don’t know what you want,’ she finished for him. ‘Part of you still wants Monarch to win.’

‘My father.'

‘Y-your father.’ She folded her hands in her lap, drawing her shoulders inward, away from him. The distance between them might have been two miles rather than two feet.

Adrien bit the inside of his lip hard enough to draw a bead of blood. ‘I don’t want to argue with you. I love you.’

She didn’t look up. ‘I love you too.’

For perhaps the first time since he’d known her, awkward silence filled the space that separated them. He longed to reach across the divide, to touch her, to pull her back into his arms. Longed to run his fingers through her hair and whisper reassuring words like, ‘It’ll all be okay.’ But he couldn’t bring himself to move.

She let out a long breath and glanced at him, her gaze bouncing around his face, never quite landing on his eyes. ‘Maybe we just…need some time to cool off and clear our heads. It’s been a long day.’

‘…m-maybe.’

She lingered there…waiting…like there was something else he was supposed to say. When he didn’t say it, she dragged herself to her feet and walked slowly to the window.

This was his moment, his chance to run after her and tell her he’d got everything wrong. He didn’t want to be Adrien the Spy anymore. He wanted to be Cat Noir – to help her take his father down once and for all.

But he remained on the bed, his body numb.

She leapt onto the windowsill, leaning out.

He stood. ‘I’m still on your side, M’lady – I promise.’

She turned and looked back at him, uncertainty written all over her face. Then she leapt through the window and was gone.

Chapter Text

When his alarm went off the next morning, Adrien lay in his bed, listening to the melody chime over and over until it finally switched off, readying itself to try again in five minutes.

Maybe he could just skip school for the day – then maybe skip the next day too – and every day after that.

My father wouldn’t care. He hated the idea of me going, anyway.

The thought pushed him out of bed and into the shower to wake himself up.

Whatever happens, I can’t sink into these negative feelings. I’ll be akuma fodder in no time.

‘Adrien,’ Nathalie greeted him when he came out of his room. She was wearing her leg stents again and moving more slowly than ever.

He gripped the shoulder strap of his bookbag. ‘Morning.’

‘Are you going to school?’

He nodded. ‘Are you okay to be walking around like that, so soon?’

She looked down at her useless legs, then back up at him. ‘If I spend all my time in bed, I’ll forget how to move.’

It was like she’d read his mind. He started to smile – then remembered.

She was Mayura.

She’d done bad things – awful things.

But so have I.

She cleared her throat. ‘You have fencing today at four.’

‘I know, I know – I’ll be everywhere I’m meant to be. Don’t worry.’ He managed that smile, then hurried downstairs.

It seemed their normal routine had been restored – as if she wasn’t slowly dying thanks to overuse of a certain broken magical charm, his father wasn’t Paris’s number-one terrorist, and his mother’s cryogenically frozen corpse wasn’t hidden in the secret basement.

How had this become his life?

It was always my life. I just didn’t know it before.

Obligation sent him to the empty dining room, where the curtains were closed, casting the room in tomblike gloom. As in the rest of the mansion, the ceilings were high, giving the impression that the walls were looking down on him.

His place at the table had been set, a cooked breakfast laid out, along with a croissant and a glass of orange juice. Despite the ‘bonding’ he’d done with his father, it seemed he was still expected to eat alone. He didn’t even have Plagg to keep him company, like he used to.

He grabbed the croissant and got up, lingering in the dining room doorway. When he cast a last look at the abandoned breakfast, his heart cracked with sadness. There was something so lonely about the food just sitting there, uneaten.

At the front door, the Gorilla was waiting for him and saw him out to the car, then set off for the school. Adrien leaned against the window, watching the city flying by but not really taking it in.

A memory played out in his mind, of that day they’d fought Sentibug. When he’d first encountered her…he hadn’t even suspected she might be a copy. She just seemed so…perfect. She moved like Ladybug, talked like her, looked like her. She was so lifelike, as if she was her own person.

And Mayura had snapped her out of existence.

She killed her.

Before Sentibug, he’d assumed sentimonsters were…well…monsters. After all, Feast had been nothing more than an eating machine…hadn’t he?

But Sentibug had the potential to be something more. Was it just because she looked more human? Had that made him see her as something she wasn’t?

No. She’d been human. She’d been real – just as real as he was. Which meant they’d misunderstood the sentimonster idea. They were only monsters in the ‘Frankenstein’s monster’ way, as life created by man – not intended to be in the world, if you took a religious view on things.

If you weren’t religious….

Regardless…didn’t they have just as much a right to exist as anyone else?

Yes.

So, it was murder, plain and simple.

Nathalie had murdered someone.

Maybe several someones.

Acceptance made his blood run cold. Shivering, he shifted in his seat.

Maybe she doesn’t see what she did as murder.

But that wasn’t any better. It meant she didn’t see the life and humanity in these creations…just as Gabriel saw nothing wrong with mind control.

Of the people he akumatises. Not of me. He isn’t manipulating me with some magical ring. That’s ridiculous. That’s….

The car was already pulling up outside the school. Adrien stepped out and waved goodbye to the Gorilla, before climbing the steps to the entrance, breathing a little easier with each step he took away from any reminder of home.

Inside, in the courtyard, he found his friend group standing in a circle and talking by the wall. ‘Hey, guys,’ he greeted them with the cheer he was used to feigning even when he was feeling at his worst. He edged into the circle, into a spot next to Marinette, and slid an arm around her shoulder, drawing her near.

‘Awww!’ some of the others exclaimed, and he flashed them a lopsided smiled. Usually, he was the oddity who hovered at the periphery, waiting to feel like he fit in. After nearly a year, he was truly one of the group.

Marinette had dark circles under her beautiful eyes, and her mouth was drawn into a deep frown. He squeezed her shoulder, but she didn’t look up at him.

He dragged his gaze away from her. ‘W-what are we all talking about?’

‘All this stuff with Monarch,’ Nino said. ‘Last night was insane. Did you see how heavy he went? It was off the scale.’

Alya crossed her arms. ‘Ladybug doesn’t even have Cat Noir working with her anymore. The second-most powerful miraculous and no one’s using it. She has to do all of it on her own. It’s too much.’ She shot Marinette a look that was full of meaning.

Marinette hung her head heavily.

‘And Monarch doesn’t care!’ Mylene exclaimed. ‘He’s such a coward, taking advantage of someone when he thinks they’re weak.’

The others nodded in solemn agreement, like they were having a moment of silence in Ladybug’s honour.

Adrien pressed his lips together hard.

Was it really too much? I had a plan.

Now, Marinette was looking at him – staring at him with the same intensity she’d radiated the night before, in his room.

He swallowed. Because his father had a plan, too. Any means were easy to justify if you wanted the ends badly enough. How did you know if you’d done the right or wrong thing?

She broke eye contact and stared vacantly into the centre of their group of friends. Her forehead was creased with exhaustion, her skin pale, like she hadn’t slept in weeks.

That’s how I know. If I’ve hurt someone, I made the wrong choice, even if I had the right intentions.

He gripped her tight. If only he could transmit everything he was feeling through his touch.

A new voice joined the conversation – Chloe, who had pushed her way in. Behind her were Sabrina and Lila. ‘If you ask me –’

‘Nobody did,’ said Alya.

‘– Ladybug thinks she’s so special that she pushed Cat Noir away for months. The only thing Cat Noir is sick of is her. He quit because he couldn’t stand her anymore, and she can’t bring herself to admit it.’ She crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her nose up in the air, looking very proud of her theory.

Adrien bit his tongue to hold back a response.

Lila pushed in to stand beside her. ‘That wouldn’t surprise me. As you all know, I’ve met Ladybug many times and she really isn’t all that.’ She flipped her hair over her shoulder. ‘In fact, if you recall, she came to my rescue a couple times, and Cat Noir did basically all the work. Without him, she’s nothing. It’s just a matter of time before she falls.’ She grinned.

‘And then what?’ Adrien challenged.

All eyes turned on him, but he kept his trained on Lila.

She blinked twice. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You sound happy about the idea of Ladybug losing – like you want Monarch to win. Is that what you’re saying? After everything he’s done to the people of Paris, you hope he gets his way?’

Lila stared at him, her eyes wide.

Chloe let out an impatient huff. ‘Of course not, Adrikins. Why would you even suggest that?’

‘I didn’t. She did. If Ladybug loses, Monarch wins, and we’re all at the mercy of what he wants with the miraculous. He’ll be free to terrorise all of us anytime he likes and there will be no one left to save you.’

Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘Daddy would get me out of Paris long before that happens.’

Adrien sighed.

‘It’s irrelevant,’ Alya cut in, ‘because Ladybug won’t lose. She isn’t alone. And I’m certain Cat Noir didn’t quit because he hates her. They have a special relationship that none of us understand. Can you imagine what kind of trust must go into a friendship where you have to work together but can never know each other’s real identities? I bet they’re still friends now. He’s there for her even if he can’t fight by her side. And she has others, too. She’s getting back the miraculous one by one. Monarch won’t win.’ She threw another meaningful glance at Marinette, who flushed and looked away.

‘Whaaaat-ever.’ Chloe covered her mouth while she yawned. ‘I, for one, will be booking the first flight to New York when it all comes down. Ta-taaaa!’ She sauntered off, swinging her hips, with Sabrina trotting after. A follower.

Like me with my father.

Alya looked ready to comment, but the bell rang and the group dispersed to their classes.

Adrien’s first class of the day was language, with Marinette. He took her hand and walked with her. Although she was allowing him to be affectionate, she wasn’t responding, wasn’t pressing him in return, wasn’t lacing her fingers through his. She hadn’t fully forgiven him.

‘I don’t know how to apologise enough for what I did,’ he murmured in a low voice. ‘I guess I didn’t think things through like I should. I wish I’d had time to talk it over with you first. Then you would’ve known what was coming – or talked me out of it. I…I’m not very good with planning. As we’ve said…that’s your department.’

They walked eight more agonising steps before she gave a sigh, the first indication that she was evening listening. ‘No, it was a good plan. You’re right that it would’ve been better to discuss it with me, but…I know your heart was in the right place.’

‘Haven’t you heard? Hell is paved with good intentions.’ This was meant to be a joke, but it didn’t come out like one.

‘Are you thinking of your father?’

‘And Nathalie. And who knows how many others. To be honest….’ He glanced at the other students rushing past. ‘This whole thing has me shaken up. I mean, what if everyone around us has been doing awful things without us knowing? If my father could do all of this under the same roof as me, then…what else am I missing?’

She stopped walking, and he did too. Stepping in front of him, she framed his face with her hands and stared into his eyes. ‘You’ve really been worrying about that?’

He gave a jerky nod. It was hard to speak with her hands on his cheeks like that and her mouth so close to his. ‘To be honest, I’ve…I’ve been feeling a little afraid of the human race. I thought I was a decent judge of character, but….’ He glanced again at the other kids, now giving him looks in return.

She followed his gaze, then dropped her hands. ‘You are a good judge of character. You knew there was something wrong. You just didn’t guess the scope of it because…well, who would?’

‘You, when you found out he had the grimoire.’ That I’m keeping under my pillow.

She shook her head. ‘I talked myself out of it, too. I didn’t want to believe – for your sake. And you didn’t want to believe because you have a good heart. You always want to see the best in people, even when they make mistakes. You try to forgive. That’s not a weakness. It’s something I’ve always admired you for and I’m trying to learn from you.’

His eyes rounded. She was trying to learn something from him?

A lump formed in his throat. ‘I…I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive this. And then…what do I do?’

‘…do?’

‘Y-yeah. I mean…it’s more than just not getting along with my father. The stuff he’s doing…. I’ve thought about turning him in to the authorities, but he’s too powerful. Then I’ve thought about what we’ll do with him if – when – we take that power away. I don’t know if I can be the one to do that to him. And what will happen to me? Where will I go?’

Marinette pressed his hands and leaned her head in towards him, touching her forehead to his. ‘Slow down. Let’s take things one step at a time, okay?’

‘O…okay.’ He tried to focus on drawing her soothing energy out of her forehead and into his, then moving that feeling of calm throughout the rest of his body.

She drew away and met his eyes once more. ‘Honestly, I don’t have an answer to your questions yet. I know this can’t be easy for you. Whatever he’s done…he’s your father, and he’ll always hold space in your heart. I will never judge you for that.’

His eyes watered with emotion. ‘Thank you.’

Her hand was on his cheek again, cupping it as she gave him a sad smile. ‘Come on. We’re going to be late for class.’

He leaned into her hand, then nodded. This time, when he grabbed her hand, she threaded her fingers through his, locking them together. Something had been healed between them.

For now.

Chapter Text

In fencing, later that afternoon, Adrien was paired with Kagami, as usual. Normally, he would practise at home. His father would make him. But what with the secret grimoire and this business of akumatising innocent people, his father had let him slack off on certain other obligations.

As soon as he began the duel, it was evident that he wasn’t in top form. Kagami kept scoring point after point after point, each punctuated with a withering look of disgust.

After a half hour of this pitiful dance, she cornered him against a wall, the tip of her foil a millimetre from his heart. Her stance was immaculate, her stare as piercing as a real sword. If she’d lived in the days of real swashbuckling, she would’ve been a force to be reckoned with.

‘You’re off your game,’ she said.

As if I need to be told.

She relaxed her foil and gave him room.

He shrugged himself back together and bowed at her. ‘I think I’ll help mentor some of the newbies.’ He walked away, turning his back to that look she was shooting him, the one that said he’d let her down. He’d seen a lot of it when they'd dated.

It was soothing, directing his attention to helping others, making observations about their stance and form. He sank into watching a spar, occasionally offering constructive commentary, and then the lesson was over.

Thank god.

He grabbed his things and headed back to the locker room.

All these classes his father made him do….

Sure, he enjoyed learning other languages. They opened up doors of communication and understanding.

And he enjoyed piano because he liked music – although it would be nice to play the things he loved, rather than what his father said he should love.

And fencing taught you to how to sense your partner’s movements, which had wider applications in life. It also taught poise, a quality useful in a model – which he didn’t want to be.

He was being put through a kind of outdated finishing school – skills to be mastered to keep up appearances.

What was it Plagg had said during his brief stint as Cat Walker? ‘Just be the way you are with Gabriel and Nathalie.’

That was precisely what he didn’t want to be.

‘Adrien!’

He froze at the sound of Kagami’s voice – her footsteps, as she ran to catch up. Then he forced himself to move again. ‘Hey, Kagami.’

She kept in step with him. ‘What’s going on with you?’

He pushed open the boys’ locker room door and she followed him in. Should’ve expected that. With his back to her, he popped open his locker.

‘You’re giving me the silent treatment now?’

His shoulders tensed as he put his things away. ‘I’m just not sure what you want me to say.’

‘I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to tell me what you have to say.’

That was…not something he was used to.

Other boys came into the locker room, exclaiming when they saw a girl in there.

Kagami ignored them. ‘Something’s changed about you, Adrien. What’s happened? Is it something to do with Marinette?’

Wow. She really was insightful.

He shut the locker door and turned around to face her, glancing at the others, who were thankfully across the room. Still, he kept his voice low. ‘I started dating her.’

Her brow lifted. ‘That’s wonderful!’

‘Yeah.’ He gave a half-smile and stared at his feet.

‘…why aren’t you happy?’

Because she’s Ladybug and I’m Cat Noir, and my father is Monarch and wants to turn me to the dark side. ‘…you know what my father’s like.’

‘I certainly do. He’s like my mother. He’d never approve of the daughter of a mere baker.’

Adrien’s mouth fell open.

She put up a hand. ‘I don’t see her that way. But I’m trying to get into your father’s head.’

‘I…don’t recommend that.’

‘But you’re not going to let him dictate who you see.’ It came out as a command. ‘I know the old Adrien would give in – but you’re not the old Adrien anymore, are you.’

Could she sense a change in him? Or was she just being motivational? ‘I’m not. And I won’t. I’m going to keep seeing Marinette. But….’

Kagami groaned. ‘Don’t tell me you’re hiding her.’

He looked at his feet again.

‘Adrien.’ She stepped closer, forcing him to make eye contact. ‘You can’t do that to her. She’s a good person. She’s my only real friend, aside from you – the first girl ever to make me feel accepted. You should be proudly bringing her home and announcing your relationship to your father.’

An image filled his head, of Marinette at the same table as his father – Ladybug and Monarch sharing a meal together and talking about university plans as if everyone were normal. As if his father were sane. ‘What if I’m worried he might…do something to hurt her?’

Her brow rose. ‘What could he do?’

He shrugged, hoping he looked noncommittal. ‘I don’t know. But he’s a hard man who always gets his way. I don’t think he cares much who he hurts in the process – especially me.’

Her stare was almost physical. ‘I know what it’s like to have a parent dictate your relationships but…something else is going on here, isn’t it.’

There was no way of hiding it. ‘My father’s decided to…give me a bigger role in his business….’

‘…and?’

‘And…Marinette doesn’t figure into his plans.’

‘So you’re hiding her to protect her.’

‘I…think so?’ He lifted his gaze, meeting her eyes, waiting for her judgment.

‘If that’s true…that’s noble of you. But if you’re hiding her to protect yourself, then you’re a coward.’

He winced. ‘I guess you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.’

She crossed her arms. ‘Marinette aside…what about these business plans? What are you going to do about them?’

‘I…don’t know. I suppose –’

‘Okay, so you don’t want to be part of them.’

‘I…I don’t. No.’

‘Adrien…you’re supposed to be getting some backbone. When are you going to tell your father that you have your own plans for your life?’

That, he had an answer for. ‘I guess when I figure out what those plans are.’ He sidestepped her and headed for the changing room. Thankfully, he was the only one in there.

He leaned against the sink, dropping his head and releasing a long, slow breath. Guilt coursed through him. He’d been rude. She’d only been trying to help, to be a friend, and how had he repaid her?

What’s happening to me?

He raised his eyes, meeting his own in the mirror. No wonder Kagami had cornered him like she had. He looked like a ghost of himself, all pale skin and sallow skin. It was a good thing he didn’t have any photoshoots coming up.

‘Promise that things won’t change between us – that this won’t change you.’

Too late. It had only been a few days, and already he hardly recognised his own reflection.

His heart heavy, he went into one of the stalls and changed. When he returned to the adjoining locker room, Kagami and everyone else had gone. He breathed out a sigh of relief and headed out of the school, where the Gorilla waited with the car. On a day like that, it was a mercy that the man never spoke – and a mercy that everyone ignored him when he arrived home.

Up in his room, he set aside his schoolbooks and sat on the bed, pulling out the grimoire again. Without thinking, he flipped directly to the spread on the ladybug miraculous. Last night’s akumatisation replayed in his head.

What he’d done…it was wrong. Whatever he did next…he needed to find a way to include Marinette. He couldn’t let her down again.

But maybe that’s just my nature. Maybe that’s why Fu gave me the power of destruction – because destruction is part of who I am.

He drummed on the page.

No. Even the grimoire noted that to wield such a power responsibly, you needed the sort of nature to counterbalance the destructive energy. Fu must’ve seen something in him that he was failing to see in himself.

Or maybe he was just wrong about me.

The door opened, drawing his attention. His father filled the whole doorway. ‘Come.’ He was gone so swiftly that he may as well have been an apparition.

What did he want? It had hardly been a day since the last akuma. He needed time – time to warn Marinette, to meet with her again, to think of a plan, something they agreed together, like the team they were supposed to be.

But his father didn’t know or care about any of that.

His heart hammering, Adrien shut the book and got to his feet, forcing himself to leave the room and walk down the stairs, to his father’s office.

As expected, his father stood in front of his mother’s painting, hands clasped behind his back. ‘You took your time.’

‘I…wanted to finish the page I was reading. Of the grimoire.’

His father twisted his head, catching his eye – then gave one sharp nod. ‘I have the afternoon clear. It’s time to go to work.’

‘A-already?’

‘There’s no time to waste, when it comes to matters of such importance.’

‘But I have homework, and I need to practise piano, and –’

His father put up a hand – then gestured at the painting, as if to say, You do the honours.

Adrien swallowed and joined him on the secret pad, his fingers immediately finding the right places to press on the painting, hurtling them down to the basement.

Having to pass his mother’s coffin each time they made this journey felt deliberate, calculated – a reminder of the end goal, in case Adrien felt tempted to back out of his father’s plans.

He recalled his dream – of her rising from the dead. What would she make of what they were doing? Would she approve?

What would she want me to do?

When they rose up into the dome, his father stood, rigid and tall, looking down on him with cold eyes. ‘What you did last night was reckless.’

Reckless. Ladybug often described him that way, too. As Cat Noir, the label rankled. As perfect Adrien Agreste, a thrill of delight flurried down his spine.

His father sighed. ‘It was also inspired. I want you to try again tonight, applying the lessons you learned last night.’

‘You…want me to use two kwamis again?’

‘No. But I’d like to see what else the…Purple Emperor…can pull out of his bag of tricks.’ His eye twitched when pronouncing Adrien’s supervillain name.

Good. Let him think I’m a joke.

Wait. Tricks….

That’s what Ladybug needs – Trixx. If she can power an illusion, she can protect herself even when working alone.

‘Alright.’ He lifted his chin so he felt more at eye level with his father. One day, I’ll be bigger than him – in more ways than one.

His father drew the horse miraculous from his pocket, then lifted his tie, removing the butterfly brooch and handing over the jewels.

This time, Adrien put on the items and said the transformation words without a second thought. It’s just a part it’s just a part it’s –

‘Which will you choose this time?’

‘Trixx.’

‘An excellent choice. Do you have an illusion in mind?’

‘The greatest deception of all time.’ Adrien flashed his most disarming smile.

His father grinned and reached into the zodiac for the fox pendant, handing it over.

Adrien closed his fist around it, stepping away, putting as much distance as he could between himself and his father.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing, feeling the slow movement of air travelling in through his nose and out through his mouth. It was easier to get into the right headspace, this time. As his mind emptied of all other thoughts, he floated in a realm of pure sensation, no longer tethered by his body.

‘Very good, Adrien. You’re really getting the hang of this.’

Just a part just a –

‘Now, I want you to focus on –’

‘Doubt.’

‘…well, now. By all means, Emperor…carry on.’

Doubt was another of those emotions that seemed to pervade the city. But as he lost himself in that place of feeling, one person’s doubts screamed out at him loudest.

A female, her thoughts rolling through his head as if they were his own.

I'm not cut out for this. There’s too much to lose. It shouldn’t be down to me. How have they not figured out that I’ll let them all down in the end?

‘Have you found someone?’ His father’s voice was sharp.

‘Maybe.’ He sank further into the girl’s mind.

I want to trust him. I’m sure he means every word he says…but he didn’t meet Cat Blanc. He doesn’t know what lurks in his own heart.

Before he could process what he’d just heard, an image filled his head – a figure he’d only seen in his nightmares. An exact copy of Cat Noir but dressed in snow white, with ice blue eyes that had stopped hoping for anything a long time ago.

No.

Adrien’s eyes flew open. He staggered backwards and threw out his hands to steady himself, but only met air.

No. No, no, not her – anyone but her!

His father caught him, propping him upright. ‘What is it? A particularly strong emotion?’ He sounded hungry.

Adrien pulled out of his grasp, shaking his head slowly and taking deep ragged breaths. His father was staring down at him, waiting for a response. How, how, how did he get out of this?

By playing the part of the useless son.

‘N-not that one,’ he made out. ‘The emotion…it’s too much. I…I can’t control it.’

His father continued to stare at him – then looked askance, no doubt wondering why he’d ever decided to bring his idiot son in on his schemes.

Good. I’m a disappointment, aren’t I, Father. You should cut me loose before I make an even bigger mistake.

He trembled as he waited for his father’s decision, his heart pounding and Marinette’s insecurities still in his blood, in his brain. Oh, Marinette…forgive me for spying on you. Forgive me for hurting you and keeping things from you. Forgive me for making you doubt how much I care about you.

His father turned back to him. ‘It’s precisely the right selection. This could be the one, Adrien – the one who finally gets us what we’ve been searching for.’

What?

Adrien’s stomach dropped, sickness rising in his throat.

He –

I –

I can’t akumatise Marinette! There’d be no Ladybug to save anyone. She’d hand over both our miraculous.

She would never forgive my betrayal.

‘I c-can’t. Please.’ His legs were like jelly, his heart thumping so hard he could hear it in his ears, almost louder than Marinette’s mistrust.

‘Your adamant refusal makes me even more certain this is the right selection.’

‘Father, no. I won’t do this.’ He didn’t shout – but his voice had force.

His father lifted an eyebrow – then released him, touching his wedding band. ‘You will do this.’

Desire mingled with fear – a desire to obey, to do exactly as his father said.

A voice deep inside railed in rebellion. She was right! He’s controlling you! Fight it – fight it!

Yet his body went limp and, in a soft voice that was not his own, his mouth said, ‘Yes, Father.’

His father smiled. ‘I’m glad we’ve remembered that our goals are aligned. Now – akumatise this weakling.’

When he gave the ring another twist, Adrien felt it – a twist in his mind. His arms and voice worked of their own accord, like a puppet.

‘Cut your strings!’ Kagami had told him recently. She didn’t know how accurate those words were.

If only he could go back in time, to the moment Marinette had first told him about the ring – listen to her and work with her to think of a way to take it from his father.

But even the rabbit didn’t work that way. The universe didn’t allow paradox. The wheels were in motion, and he had as much control over the future as he had over his own actions.

Against his will, he whispered into Marinette’s mind – words that some deep, ugly part of him knew were the key to unlocking her insecurities. ‘It’s so hard to know what to believe in anymore, isn’t it? Or indeed, who to believe in.’

He felt her go on cold alert.

Don’t listen, Marinette. Shut me out and get away!

But the thought was buried deep in his mind, not loud enough to be heard over the insidious messages his father was forcing him transmit to her. As with last night, she would have to fight this battle on her own.

Chapter Text

After school, Marinette hunched over her sewing machine, teeth gritted as she fed through an especially difficult piece of fabric – when her phone rang.

Her chest tightened. Please be Adrien.

Please don’t be Adrien.

She released the foot pedal and the fabric, then retrieved her phone from the workstation, squinting at it, not ready to see the name on the screen. When it had rung four times, she looked – and her heart raced for a new reason.

‘H-hi, Luka.’

‘Hey, Marinette. Did I…catch you at a bad time?’

‘…no. I was just sewing.’

‘Oh. Well, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go see a film with me.’

A film. It sounded harmless enough….

‘Just as friends.’

She blinked. It was like he’d read her mind.

‘You’ve seemed like you could use some distraction, and I thought Mega Dinosaur vs Super Wings would do the trick.’

She laughed down the phone. ‘How do you make dinosaurs more mega than they already are?’

‘That’s what I can’t wait to find out.’

She laughed harder. A few minutes later, she was out the door and walking to the cinema.

When was the last time she’d really laughed at anything? Her heart throbbed with longing for Cat Noir’s jokes. As Adrien, he’d been so serious lately – and for a good reason. But the levity…well, she hadn’t quite appreciated just how much she relied on it to keep her going when things got tough.

Maybe he needs me to be the funny one, right now.

But she didn’t have much humour to give. Maybe Luka could help.

He was waiting for her outside the cinema. She stopped a safe distance from him, uncertain how best to greet him. Manners said she should kiss him on the cheeks. Their history made her hold back.

She pushed a stray hair behind her ear. ‘So, let’s see these mega dinosaurs.’

He smiled and turned, leading them inside.

The film was as good as expected. They talked through a lot of it and got popcorn thrown at the backs of their heads for it, which made them giggle more. Yet, at the back of her mind, a memory niggled – of sharing a similar evening with Cat Noir, before she knew he was Adrien.

After, they walked down the bank of the Seine. The sun had mostly set and the streetlights made long reflections in the water.

‘So, robotics,’ Luka said. ‘That’s definitely one way to make dinosaurs more mega.’

‘I still think they should’ve come from space.’

‘I think that’s the sequel – Mega Dinosaurs from Space.’

She laughed and shook her head, then spotted Andre down the bank. ‘Ice cream?’

He grinned. ‘I’ll race you there.’

They tore down the bank. Marinette skidded into first, breathless.

Luka arrived a second later, laughing and leaning forward to catch his breath. ‘You win. Ice cream’s on me.’ He straightened, addressing Andre. ‘Two, please.’

Andre’s gaze jumped from Marinette to Luka, and to Marinette again. Perhaps coming to the conclusion that this really was nothing more than friendship, he gave them each their own cone. Luka’s was raspberry and blueberry, while hers was peach and mint with chocolate chips.

Luka pointed at the chips.

‘They’re new.’

‘I’ve had them before. It started after….’ That same night they’d gone to the cinema together – when Cat had stood in for the boy she was in love with, so she could rehearse her embarrassing confession speech.

She laughed. When Luka looked at her in question, she shook her head. ‘It’s nothing. Just….’ Something that might never happen again. Something I may never feel again. She licked at her ice cream.

This isn’t working.

Her good mood was fading fast. She was sad again – and angry that she was sad. She was supposed to be taking a break from all these thoughts, and here she was, letting her mind get clouded with negativity even while spending time with a friend. She should’ve been enjoying her ice cream and talking about bad movies. But everything reminded her of Adrien.

‘Marinette…I don’t mean to pry but…is everything okay?’

She tried to smile, but it didn’t feel right on her face. She gave up pretending. ‘Luka…have you ever felt totally out of your depth? Like you’ve been thrown into something you’re not cut out for – where the stakes are just so high and there’s so much to lose, and you just know you’re going to let everyone down?’

His hesitation suggested he was trying to think how to reply. ‘How do you think you’re going to let people down?’

That wasn’t an answer. ‘Never mind, forget I said anything.’ She focused on her ice cream.

He kept his gaze on her as they stepped onto a bridge over the river. ‘Marinette…whatever’s going on with you right now…you can trust me.’

Her shoulders tensed. A week ago, she would’ve agreed with him. But after everything that had happened…how did she trust anyone ever again?

I trusted Adrien, and he gave a supervillain two miraculous to attack me last night.

She’d forgiven him, but it still stung. Worse – there was no telling what he might do next. There was no question that he meant every word he said…but with his father controlling him….

Besides….

He didn’t meet Cat Blanc. He doesn’t know what lurks in his heart.

Cat Blanc’s image filled her view. His cold blue eyes and cold loveless smile. In her mind, she heard his cold bitter voice.

Dizziness was taking her, her stomach churning with sickness. She hurried to the bridge railing, leaning against it for support. A hand went to her back – Luka’s. Not the one she wanted. Not the right boy. But she took the affection, took the comfort, because it was all she had.

She’d read a little on what to do about recurring nightmare imagery. All the advice online said to treat it like a phobia and sit with the image until she became immune to its effect. But she didn’t feel ready for it. She didn’t feel ready for anything.

Luka slid his arm further around her, holding her. ‘Marinette…talk to me. What’s going on?’ His voice was soft.

Another voice was louder – a voice speaking within her mind.

‘It’s so hard to know what to believe in anymore, isn’t it? Or indeed, who to believe in.’

Her body went rigid in Luka’s grasp, her blood as cold as her ice cream, which fell from her hand, plopping into the water below.

That voice.

Adrien.

No – no, no, it can’t be!

But there was no mistaking him. His voice was like fingers, pushing into her head, stroking her deepest doubts.

He’s trying to akumatise me.

She jerked away from Luka. There was a sharp pain in her heart and her breath grew short and quick – like her panic attack after Felix took her yo-yo. Adrien had been there to support her, then – but now, he was hurting her. He was –

I have to fight him off – have to – to –

But the very fact that it was happening was enough to make her fall deeper under his spell. He’d hooked her, his claws digging deep into her mind.

‘Marinette?’ Luka’s voice was fuzzy and faraway, as though a wall divided them.

But Adrien’s voice was loud and clear, burrowing into the weakest points in her heart. ‘The world is a dishonest place. Everyone tells lies. Everyone keeps secrets from each other.’

No – no!

But she lied, too. She kept secrets. When was the last time she could simply be herself?

‘I’m the Purple Emperor, and I can see into your soul – see what you want most in the world. You want to be someone other than yourself – someone without all those obligations that weigh on your shoulders.’

He was right. Of course he was. Because it really was Adrien seducing her right now. He was reading her as only her best friend could.

‘I can help you – give you something that will allow you to reshape yourself into anyone you like. You don’t have to be you anymore. You don’t need to carry these burdens. Give in to me, and I’ll help you escape all your problems.’

But my problem right now is you, Adrien. My problem is this – what you’re doing to me. You're hurting me.

The thought was loose and soft – weak. His voice was hypnotic and his words exactly what she wanted to hear. Already, she was disconnecting from her body, hovering outside, watching, no longer in control of herself.

Again, she heard Luka say her name, but he sounded even further away than before, like he was on a spaceship, speaking through a satellite link with a long delay.

And Adrien was right there. ‘Do you want to re-imagine yourself?’

She answered him out loud. ‘I do.’

In her periphery, Luka’s mouth was moving, but she didn’t hear him. The only sound was Adrien’s voice.

A butterfly flew over the river, catching the sunlight on its dark wings. As if moving in a dream, she reached for it, welcoming it. It landed on her hair ribbon, and there was a change, the tingle of magic she felt when she transformed...but colder.

Blue light flashed, and a portal materialised in the air before her. A hand reached through it, gloved in rich purple. In its palm lay the fox miraculous.

A dim, desperate part of her mind fought to find a reason for what was happening. It’s another of his ill-conceived plans. He’s trying to help you. He’s hoping you’ll beat this and have the fox back.

A darker part of her mind spoke back. He’s betrayed you. He never really loved you. He wants to destroy you, so he can have your miraculous and make his wish.

She sank deeper under his spell, taking the pendant and securing the necklace around her neck. The hand withdrew, taking the portal with it. Yet she still felt Adrien’s presence. He was within her.

Trixx flew out, eyes large when he saw it was her.

‘Trixx – let’s pounce.’ Her voice was a dull monotone.

He yelped as he was sucked into the pendant, and she transformed, her costume an orangey brown, her hair swept into a high ponytail. In her hand was a wooden flute. In her mind was Adrien – in her body was Adrien. When she moved, he moved with her. When she spoke, he would speak through her.

Luka came into focus again. He was staring at her with wide, pleading eyes.

‘You’ve been in love with me a long time. Here – have another dopy Marinette instead. This one will love you back.’ She lifted the flute to her lips, playing a melody that was both sweet and unsettling.

Another Marinette appeared on the bridge, making Luka jump. Her hips swung softly as she approached him, a sly smile playing on her lips. ‘I’ve always had feelings for you.’ Her voice was timid, her smile coy.

He blinked at her, not moving.

‘I was confused because of Adrien – but he betrayed me, and now I’m not confused anymore. You’re the one I want, Luka.’ She opened her arms out to him.

He stared at this dream, his brow furrowed and mouth open. It was clear in his eyes that he wanted it to be true. Then he growled and swiped at the illusion, making the imaginary Marinette disappear. He whirled on the real Marinette, in her fox costume. ‘I don’t need you to love me back. I need you to return to yourself.’ He took a step towards her.

She stepped backwards, putting out her hands to stay him. ‘Don’t come any closer. There’s no telling what I’ll do.’

He froze in place.

‘Better.’ She put a hand on her hip. ‘I don’t want to return to myself.’

‘You…you don’t?’

She shook her head, her ponytail sweeping her neck. ‘Haven’t you ever had a moment when just being yourself was exhausting? I want a break from being Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I need it.’

Luka’s eyes were large and liquid with compassion. ‘I understand – but this isn’t the way to do it.’

She let out a short bark of laughter. ‘You don’t understand. You know nothing about what I deal with. You’ve never had to juggle two lives like I do.’

He put up his hands and nodded. ‘You’re right. Okay? I can’t really understand what it’s like to be you. But I can imagine – and you have to fight this. I know some part of you deep inside wants to take back control. Don’t let Monarch have you.’

‘It’s not Monarch. It’s the Purple Emperor.’

‘The….’ He shook himself. ‘Look, whoever it is – it’s not you. Where are you, Marinette?’

‘Buried,’ she said in a dead voice. ‘I hope Marinette never comes back. She was helpless and small, at the mercy of her emotions and carrying everyone else’s problems. She could never just be herself. But not me. I won’t be like her. I make my own path in life.’

She reached for her earrings. ‘Purple Emperor – you win.’

Luka’s hands were in her face before she could take in what was happening. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them down at her sides.

‘Now you want to control me, too?’ she snarled at him.

He drew close to her, forcing her to keep eye contact. ‘No. I don’t. But I can’t let you do this, Marinette. I…I can’t let you quit being Ladybug.’

Her heart skipped a beat, his words shocking enough to pierce the haze in her head. ‘You…you….’

He nodded. ‘I know who Cat Noir is, too. What I don’t know is how everything has come to this. But please – listen to me. If you truly want to make your own path, don’t let this…Purple Emperor, or whoever he is, control you. Don’t play his game.’

Her breath caught. She was held fast, by his hands and by his words. Her true voice worked its way to the surface, broken and quiet. ‘It’s not that easy. I feel his fingers rummaging through my mind. I don’t know how to push him out.’ Tears slid down her cheeks. ‘This isn’t Monarch. It’s Adrien. He knows too well how alone I am – and he knows how to use that.’

Luka’s mouth had fallen open. Then his expression hardened, and he shook his head. ‘You’re not alone, Marinette. Whatever’s happening with Adrien right now…set it aside. It hurts, I know, but you have other friends – you have me. We’ll get through this – together.’

His sincerity was the knife she needed to sever the connection with her master. The seed of a scream formed in her core, rising through her chest, finding its way out of her throat. She screamed and screamed, gripping her head. Maybe she would never stop.

This is how it ends. I’ll lose my mind and end up in some asylum.

Then Luka’s arms were around her, pressing her to his chest, and she fell against his shoulder, sobbing, the scream subsiding. There was that tingle of magic again, and the butterfly flew out of her hair ribbon.

Not purified, though. Not gone. Always out there, waiting to take her again.

He akumatised me. Adrien akumatised me. He – he –

She wept until she couldn’t – until embarrassment made her pull away. Something weighed on her neck – the fox pendant. She fingered it. One more…I’ve got one more back.

Even if that was Adrien’s plan all along…it didn’t excuse what he’d done. He’d gone too far. Her throat filled with bitter sickness, her hands clenched into angry fists.

She swallowed it down, meeting Luka’s eyes. ‘H-how…how did you know?’

‘Wishmaker.’ He flushed like a child who’d been caught stealing cookies from the jar.

‘We both got hit?’

He nodded. ‘I just didn’t want to tell you in case you got caught or something and your mind was probed for information about Cat Noir.’

He’s known all this time. He’s known and he kept it secret, even from me. As Guardian…was she supposed to do something about this? Was it a problem? Maybe she should feel concerned or…something. But her shoulders lightened with relief. She finally had someone human to talk to about what was happening.

‘Marinette….’ He bit his lip. ‘What’s going on with Adrien?’

Her eyes were watering again. ‘I thought I knew, but….’ She fingered the fox pendant again, her head light.

‘You said he was the one akumatising you. But how is that possible? Did he somehow –’ His speech skidded to a halt, his eyes rounding with understanding. ‘His father. You said –’

She gave a jerky nod.

‘But Marinette…if Adrien’s father is Monarch, then Adrien probably needs you more than ever.’

Exactly what she didn’t want to hear, right now. ‘I think Adrien can take care of himself. You saw what just happened.’

‘I did, but…that’s not him, and you know it. There has to be some explanation.’

‘If there is, I don’t want to hear it. I’m done, Luka – and I’m going to tell him just that.’

He took a step back. ‘What do you mean?’

She covered her face with her hands, letting out a growl – then dropped her arms. ‘Why do I even need to explain this to you? Shouldn’t you be happy that it’s over between Adrien and me?’

Luka frowned. ‘Why would I ever be happy about your heart being broken?’

Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

Then she shook her head and called out, ‘Spots on!’

Luka reached for her, but she’d already thrown her yo-yo and was swinging her way to the Agreste mansion.

Chapter Text

In the dome, Adrien’s breath shortened and his heart stabbed with pain – the pain Marinette was feeling as he worked his way into her head.

No, not him. His father – digging his presence into Adrien’s psyche with each twist of that ring, taking control. Forcing him to akumatise the person he loved most in the world. His partner. His best friend.

Last time Marinette had one of these panic attacks, it was as Ladybug. He’d been there to help her, then. Told her to breathe. Run after her to remind her she wasn’t alone – she still had him – she’d always have him.

Now, he was the one hurting her. And as long as he used the butterfly, he could feel each spike of grief she felt, as if it were his own. As he melded with her, her heartache became his – her disbelief – her disappointment.

He’d let her down worse than anyone else in her life.

He’d let himself down.

His father was in his ear like a toxic insect. ‘You almost have her. Don’t let her slip away.’ As if she were a fish to be caught.

I don’t want to catch her. But he had no choice.

Against his will, another part of his mind was speaking to her, saying words he didn’t want to say. The words his darkest self knew would undo her the fastest. ‘The world is a dishonest place. Everyone tells lies. Everyone keeps secrets from each other.’

No – no! Marinette – don’t listen! I know what you’re thinking and just…don’t! Don’t give in!

But already, her thoughts were going down the path he knew they would. Because she lied, too. She kept secrets. Just like he did.

It’s not the same! It’s part of our jobs. We do it to protect people!

But his true voice was too quiet, suppressed, not strong enough to be heard over the message his father forced him to transmit to her. ‘I’m the Purple Emperor, and I can see into your soul – see what you want most in the world. You want to be someone other than yourself – someone without all those obligations that weigh on your shoulders.’

Oh god. It was him – but it wasn’t. With each twist his father gave to that ring, Adrien was saying all the things he didn’t want to say. Manipulating her the way only he could. And she was giving in. He could feel the weight of desolation and abandonment and betrayal settling in her chest, dragging her down.

And still, he was saying things he didn’t want to say. ‘I can help you – give you something that will allow you to reshape yourself into anyone you like. You don’t have to be you anymore. You don’t need to carry these burdens. Give in to me, and I’ll help you escape all your problems.’

This time, she answered. ‘But my problem right now is you, Adrien. My problem is this – what you’re doing to me. You're hurting me.'

The thought was loose and soft – weak – but it got through to him anyway. Tears filled his eyes.

Yet, he felt her losing control of herself – and he couldn’t blame her. He’d lost control, too. They were linked in some sort of twisted food chain, with his father at the top.

Then somehow his hands were moving, as if they were conscious, separate from him. He watched them pop open the top of his cane, releasing a butterfly. The dome opened, revealing a window, also butterfly patterned. Light streamed in, so bright for such a dark moment.

His father watched the way he watched Adrien’s piano recitals - in stoic observation, waiting for a mistake.

I don’t care. I don’t want to do this right. I don’t want to impress him. I need to –

His heart seized when the butterfly found her – when she opened her arms to it, welcoming it.

Marinette, please – don’t do this! Hear me – hear me!

But it had already landed on her hair ribbon. He felt a tingle of magic as she transformed, and then he was within her in a way he never wanted to be. And when he merged with her, he saw that she wasn’t alone. Luka was there with her.

Please, Luka, help her.

There was a tug on his muscles, and his hand punched into the air. ‘Voyage!’ The word came out of his mouth, in his voice, but it wasn’t him.

Seeing through her eyes, he watched the blue light flash, the portal materialising in the air before her. He watched his own hand reach through, handing her the fox miraculous.

Win this, Marinette. Break the connection and keep the fox. Don’t let this horror show be for nothing.

Sinking deeper under his spell – his father’s spell – she took the pendant, securing the necklace around her neck. Every movement she made, he felt it. Every thought she had, he heard it. He was in her mind – he was in her body. He was closer to her than he had a right to be.

And there was nothing anyone could do about it. Ladybug was gone.

He watched – listened – as she toyed with Luka. It was ugly, not like her at all. This was what his father did with his magic – twisted people into misshapen imitations of themselves. Nothing justified it.

Not even the dream of bringing back my mother.

‘Well?’ his father’s hateful voice cut through his thoughts.

Adrien swallowed. ‘W-well what?’

‘What’s happening? I can’t see, if I’m not the one in charge.’

You’re very much the one in charge, Father. ‘She’s…been akumatised.’ Bile rose in his throat.

‘Excellent!’ The word carried a suggestion. Adrien had just redeemed himself.

But he didn’t want redemption. Didn’t care what his father thought of him. Didn’t want love from someone like that. Only wanted Marinette’s love – Marinette’s forgiveness.

Which he’d probably never get. He’d lost her for good, this time.

Tears welled in his eyes – and he pushed them back. There wasn’t time for self-pity. If she never spoke to him again…fine. As long as she returned to herself.

‘I don’t want to return to myself.’ Her words were loud in his ears, as if she were in the room with him and had heard his thoughts. ‘Haven’t you ever had a moment when just being yourself was exhausting? I want a break from being Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I need it.’

Oh, Marinette….

‘I hope Marinette never comes back. She was helpless and small, at the mercy of her emotions and carrying everyone else’s problems. She could never just be herself. But not me. I won’t be like her. I make my own path in life.’

His blood ran cold as she reached for her earrings. He felt her arms move as if they were his own – knew what she would say before she said it. ‘Purple Emperor – you win.’

He staggered backwards. NO. NO, NO!

‘Has something gone wrong, Adrien?’ His father sounded impatient.

‘I –’ His heart pounded. Marinette, don’t do this – don’t do this!

Luka’s hands were in her face, grabbing her wrists and pinning them down at her sides.

‘Adrien, what’s going on?’

How did he explain this? ‘She’s…with someone else. I think he’s…talking her down.’

His father scowled. ‘Then you must not be working her hard enough.’

‘Father, I’m barely working her at all. You’re the one who’s –’

‘SILENCE!’ His father’s voice thundered around the room, making the kwamis’ cages shake from the vibrations.

Adrien shrank back, his chest heaving, not daring to speak a word. The air was heavy with his father’s anger.

An Emperor is bigger than a Monarch. An Emperor is bigger than a Monarch.

He released a breath, standing taller and squaring his shoulders – opened his mouth to tell his father what he really thought of him – when he doubled over onto the ground. Sickness spun in his stomach, but…it was okay. It was okay because….

She broke our connection. She’s free. And she got the fox.

His forehead pressed to the floor as he rocked, keening with pain as the emotions were stripped from him, eviscerating him. Trembling, he clenched his jaw, trying to calm down.

Now that she was gone…it was just him. Every emotion was his own – every pang of guilt, every stab of self-hatred.

I did that. Even if I had no choice…I did that to her.

He didn’t even want to be forgiven.

His father’s footsteps plodded across the floor, stopping in front of him. ‘I’m…sorry.’ He said the word like it was foreign, difficult to pronounce. It might have been the first time he’d ever uttered it. ‘On reflection…you did well. It’s uncommon for someone to break free of an akuma. It means you selected well. You’ll have another opportunity soon.’

So that was what this was about. His father thought he was upset that he’d lost.

Adrien’s fists tightened, his nails sharp against his skin. Fighting down the nausea, he lifted his head – then pulled himself back up to his feet so his father couldn’t look down on him. ‘I don’t want another opportunity. And she wasn’t just some selection. She’s a real person with real feelings, and I used them - just like I used that boy before. I don’t want your praise for that.’

His father arched an eyebrow the way he did when he thought Adrien was having a temper tantrum. ‘You know all of this is done for the love of your mother. It’s Ladybug who makes it so difficult for me. If she would just hand over the miraculous, we wouldn’t need to perform this painful dance.’

The most frightening part was that he truly seemed to believe this. And you couldn’t reason with someone like that.

‘I…I think I’m going to be sick.’ Adrien clutched his stomach.

‘De-transform.’

Adrien glanced down. He’d forgotten, again. Forgotten the costume stayed.

Just a part. Not me.

He said the magic words, returning to himself, to some form he recognised. The nausea was even worse, and he bent forward.

Perhaps concerned over the mess this would create, his father grabbed him and all but dragged him to the pad, descending and leading him back into the mansion. His father’s hands were cold on his shoulders, not comforting at all.

Marinette....

There was no going back from this. No changing what he’d done. No way to apologise enough. But he’d try. He had no other choice.

Back in his office, his father released him – physically, anyway, but not with his eyes. ‘I understand why you’re unhappy, Adrien. I really do. I don’t like it any more than you do.’

I doubt that.

‘But you’ll see – when your mother’s back in our lives, all this will end. Then we can live in peace and harmony, and everything will be a distant memory. If only there were some way to make Ladybug see reason.’

Reason.

It was hard to take his father’s vow seriously when he’d seen him gloat over those kwamis in their cages.

Or me in my cage.

This won’t end with my mother. He’s too drunk on power to let it go.

Adrien’s throat burned. Throwing his hand over his mouth, he ran from the room, back to his own, where he shoved open the door to the ensuite and – let out a cry.

Ladybug. She was in there, waiting for him.

His chest tightened. He’d never seen her so angry. Her rage poured out of her like fire.

She stalked towards him, backing him out of the bathroom and up against the bedroom wall. ‘What did you think you were doing tonight?’

‘I…I didn’t –’

‘Was it another one of your plans?’

‘No. I swear, I –’

‘Save it.’ She turned her back to him. ‘There’s nothing you can say that will fix this. Not this time.’

‘But –’

She’d already leapt out the window, leaving him open-mouthed.

He remained against the wall, his chest heaving with unuttered words. Then he darted into the bathroom and threw up thoroughly, letting out the poison he’d allowed his father to fill him with.

After, he collapsed on the tiled floor, letting his head fall back against the wall, eyes closed.

How did this happen?

Those four words repeated in his mind. With each repetition, his blood burned a little hotter with his own rage.

I have to put a stop to this. I’m the one on the inside. I’m the one who has to fix it. I need….

Information.

Fury made him push himself onto his feet. He cleaned himself, then flew out of the bathroom to retrieve his phone, punching in a number.

When he heard the call connect, he shouted down the line. ‘Damn it, Felix, I’ve had enough of your games. Answer your phone and answer my questions!’

His face hot, he made to end the call – then realised he never heard his cousin’s voicemail message.

‘Well, well, well.’ Felix sounded pleased. ‘I’ve waited a long time to hear that kind of fire from you. Now then…what questions?’

Chapter Text

Adrien held the phone to his ear, breathing hard. He hadn’t expected his cousin to answer the phone just like that – much less to engage.

‘Hello?’ Felix spoke down the line. ‘You still there?’

‘Y-yeah. Just…I….’ The room was spinning. The last hour – the last five minutes, even – it was all rolling through his head on continuous replay. Each time he blinked, he saw Ladybug again, her face red with anger.

‘There’s nothing you can say that will fix this. Not this time.’

‘Is everything okay?’ Felix sounded sincere. Like he really was concerned for him. Like maybe, underneath all the lies and deceptions, he was still the friend he’d been when they were younger. ‘Adrien?’

‘Yeah, I….’  He sank down on his bed, a second wave of sickness churning in his stomach. ‘I’ve…my father…he’s….’ Monarch. He just forced me to akumatise my own girlfriend.

‘What about your father?’ Felix’s voice was urgent, now. Like he knew just what the legendary Gabriel Agreste might have done.

Because Felix knew he was Monarch.

And he hadn’t told anyone. He’d even made a deal with him – traded nearly all the miraculous to get his hands on just one.

Adrien clenched the bedding in his fist. The first question flew out of his mouth. ‘Why the peacock?’

Felix let out a flat laugh. ‘Oh wow. You’re going straight in there.’

‘Just answer the question.’

‘First, you answer one of mine. How’d you work out that I took it?’

‘Because I’m –’ Adrien blinked at himself. How out of it was he? Had he really been about to admit he was Cat Noir? ‘…Ladybug visited me after she defeated Strike Back. She wanted me to return the dog miraculous to her but, of course, I didn’t have it. You did. Then her yo-yo vanished.’

‘…you were with her through that?’

‘…she and I are sort of….’

‘Oh. Right. That explains your obsessive collection of photos of her on your phone.’

Adrien blinked. He knew about that, too? ‘N-no, I didn’t mean that. Just…she and I are friends…kind of.’ He was making this worse by the second.

‘O-kay…close enough friends for her to tell you the peacock was missing, when she got the yo-yo back?’

He really was making this bad. ‘No, she didn’t….’

‘Well, if not her, then who?’

His mouth hung open. He’d walked into a trap – a trap of his own making.

‘Don’t tell me your father told you.’

Adrien held his tongue.

Felix cursed down the line. ‘Okay, things have obviously taken a turn I wasn’t expecting. Is that why you sound like such a mess? Is he hurting you? Tell me what he’s been making you do.’ He said this with such frankness, as if it was to be expected…but also with earnest worry.

All this time…Felix knew. He knew. How much time had they wasted playing enemies, when they could’ve been banding together?

But I wouldn’t have believed him if he’d told me. I needed to reach this point on my own.

He scooted to the back of the bed, hugging his knees. ‘I-I’m the one asking the questions here. Why did you want the peacock so badly?’

The silence was thick down the line. He waited. He would wait as long as he had to.

‘Adrien….’ His cousin’s reticence was palpable down the line. ‘…did your friend or your…father…tell you what the peacock does?’

‘Y-yeah. It makes and controls sentimonsters.’

‘Sentibeings.’

‘…what?’

‘Sentibeings. They’re not all monsters.’ Felix’s words were laced with bitterness...as if he had a personal investment in the matter.

Again, Adrien thought of Sentibug – of Nathalie snapping her out of existence. His blood ran cold, and he dug his legs under the duvet for warmth. ‘Okay…sentibeings. Did you…want to make one or something?’

‘No, I –’ Felix let out a heavy breath. ‘Look, there’s no easy way to tell you this but.... Let’s just say I...I wanted insurance. I didn’t like the idea of your crazy father having power over me anymore.’

Insurance? ‘I don’t understand. What are you –’ It hit him like a fist, so hard he had to lean against the headboard to keep from toppling over. ‘You mean….’

He could imagine his cousin rotating his hand in a come on gesture, waiting for him to spit out the words.

‘You mean…you’re a sentim – a sentibeing?’ He choked out the word in a whisper.

‘Bingo.’

But – but – that was impossible! Felix. His own cousin. He wasn’t some blue blob terrorising Paris and devouring everything in sight – or an oversized hulk stealing powers and burning the population alive.

Neither was Sentibug. She seemed real, too. She was real – perfect.

The room was pulsing, light and dark and light again. Words popped into his head, none of them forming a full sentence. ‘But…but how? And who…?’

‘Your mother.’

‘My….’

‘I guess I should say our mother.’

No. No. It didn’t make sense. It – ‘You’re lying.’

‘I wish I were.’

Adrien’s whole body shook, ice sitting in his core. This…had to be a dream or a…a joke or….  ‘H-how did you learn this s-story?’

‘My father. When he was dying. The man was so hateful that he used his final breaths to make sure I knew I wasn’t really his son.’ There was so much vitriol in the statement that Adrien could almost taste his cousin’s anger in his own throat.

He’s not faking that. He really believes what he’s saying…and he’s taking a chance in sharing it with me. ‘I th-think you’d better start at the beginning.’

‘As long as you’re ready for it.’

He wasn’t, but he pressed on anyway. ‘My m-mother…she made you?’

‘Yep.’

‘But why? I mean – sorry, that sounds worse than I –’

‘Don’t apologise. It really is as bad as that. She was trying to make you and got it wrong. At least, that’s how your father saw it.’

Adrien licked his lips, drier than it had ever been. ‘Got it w-wrong?’

‘Think of me as a sort of rough draft. I guess I didn’t fit the Gabriel Agreste brand, so Emilie gave me away and tried again. Then you came along – the perfect son – and Gabriel kept you. Imagine that.’

‘M-me…?’ His vision was blurring. The walls seemed to be dripping, like some Dali painting, and he was falling…falling…. ‘What…what are you trying to…?’

Felix sighed down the line, his voice softening. ‘Haven’t you felt the block in your mind? You know, when you try to say something to your father that he doesn’t like. Haven’t you felt him controlling you?’

Adrien was afraid to speak. How did Felix know? How did he know?

‘I’ll take your silence as a yes. Ever seen your father play with his wedding ring?’

The image flashed in Adrien’s mind, stealing his breath.

‘Another yes. That’s where he keeps your amok.’

‘My –’ No. No, it couldn’t be. Maybe Felix, but –

He leaned over his knees, gripping his hair, trying not to be sick a second time.

All this time…. I’m a – a –

He rocked back and forth to keep the scream from rising out of his throat. ‘Is that why you – why you – you took the – the –’

‘The rings. Yes. To get my mind back. To get both our minds back. After my father died…well, the ring with my amok in it ended up with your parents. After your mother died, your father inherited both of them – and I refuse to let him or anyone else control me ever again.’

Control…. In his mind, he was back in the dome, using the butterfly again. His father was in his ear, forcing his hand to open that cane, to send the akuma to Marinette.

Fresh fury funnelled through his veins. He pounded a fist on the bed. ‘But you gave the rings back. You let him control me.’

‘I know – and I’m sorry. It was part of the trade – for the peacock. As long as he held it, there was still the chance that he might snap me out of existence. He threatened to do that once – not too long ago, actually.’

Adrien slumped again against the bedframe, as if he’d been shot. ‘H-he would do that?’

‘Apparently so.’

‘But – but – you’re not just some sentimonster.’

‘Sentibeing.’

‘Whatever! Felix, you’re family. You’re real – you’re alive – you’re –’

‘And so are you. You’re a flesh and blood, living, breathing human, aren’t you, Adrien. But you were made with magic. The proof is in the ring.’

God, why did he keep saying these things like they were true, like they were facts he just had to accept, like –

‘I hate to break it to you, Adrien, but all sentibeings are real and alive – a lesson Ladybug and her friends haven’t seemed to learn yet.’

The frost in his voice brought back a memory – of Felix as Flairmidable…not joining them when they released the Strike Back replicas into the portal and dumped them into the fires of the sun.

Is all of it murder?

Are we all bad people?

Was part of growing up learning how easy it was to hurt others without knowing you were doing it?

He dragged out more words. ‘S-suppose I believe you…. Why haven’t you told anyone?’

Felix laughed darkly. ‘Who would believe me?’

‘I would.’

‘Really?’ He could sense his cousin rolling his eyes down the line. ‘You don’t even fully believe me now. You don’t want to see what you know in your heart is true.’

‘I just…I don’t understand. If you’re telling the truth…why make us at all?’

‘You mean, what’s the purpose of our existence?’ He made it sound like a joke, but it was anything but funny.

‘Y-yes.’ Adrien drew in his shoulders, huddling himself close.

‘To be the perfect son – like the one Gabriel and Emilie lost.’

‘W-what?’

‘There was an original. Another child. He died – I don’t even know how long ago. Your parents refused to accept it. You know what they’re like. I mean, your father still keeps his wife’s body in a secret basement, for god’s sake. Talk about not being able to move on.’

A small, pleading sound escaped Adrien’s lips.

Felix sighed in a way that suggested pity. ‘You have no memories of being a small child, do you?’

Adrien cast his mind back as far as he could but…no. Before a certain age, everything was just…blank.

‘I don’t either have any either.’

‘Kids forget things.’

‘Not like that. And hasn’t it always struck you as odd that there are no baby pictures of you anywhere in the house?’

That was true but…. ‘My father isn’t fond of noise and mess. I can’t imagine him ever liking a baby or any reminders of one.’

‘You’d be surprised. The way I heard it, your father adored their original son.’

For some reason, this hurt the most. Was it possible…? Was that why his father treated him with such disinterest? Why he was never good enough? Because he was failing to live up to the image of a lost child?

He forced himself to sit up a little straighter. ‘The – the child who died. W-what was his name?’

‘Julien.’

Julien….

‘He developed some sort of illness no one could cure, so your parents went on a quest to bring him back. Like I said, they made me, decided they’d got it wrong, then tried again with you. But they knew we weren’t the same, so they gave us different names. You and I…we’re never going to replace Julien.’

Julien. Julien. Julien….

A memory came to him – of speaking to Marinette in the basement – telling her Nathalie was Mayura.

‘…if Nathalie was using the peacock to create sentimonsters…that means so was my mother.’

His body went limp with resignation. He’d already worked it out days ago. He’d had every piece of the puzzle right there in front of him but refused to see the picture. Now, it stared him in the face, vivid and bright. ‘That’s…that’s how my mother died.’

‘…oh?’

‘Too much use of the peacock miraculous. I’ve...I've seen it with Nathalie. She’s going the same way my mother did.’

‘Nathalie? Your father’s dishwater-dull assistant?’

‘Mayura.’

Felix was quiet – then whistled. ‘You’ve managed to surprise me today – and that’s hard to do. How did the peacock kill your mother?’

‘It was broken and it broke them too. Then it was fixed and my father used it.’

His cousin snorted. ‘So he let two women kill themselves for his sake, and only took the power when it was safe to do so.’

Just like he uses people to get the miraculous for him. Nathalie was a victim as much as a villain. ‘I…don’t know what to do with this. I don’t know where to go with it.’

‘As far away from your father as possible – but you can’t until you get that ring off him. As long as he holds it, he’ll always bring you back and make you do what he wants.’

Adrien dragged his fingers through his hair, his heart in pieces. ‘How, how could you just give him the rings?’

‘I told you, I –’

‘I know – the peacock – but the rings! Felix, he’s – he’s making me akumatise people.’

Felix gasped down the line. ‘Adrien…I never thought….’

‘Right. You didn’t think. Thanks, brother.’ Before he knew it, he’d clicked off. He stared at the phone, his chest heaving with anger, each word of their conversation replaying in his mind – then hurled it across the bed, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

Felix had his reasons – but they weren’t good enough.

Just like my reason for akumatising Marinette isn’t good enough.

He buried his head in his knees. Where was that private island where he and Marinette were sipping coconut water and eating pineapples until they dropped in the endless sun? Where was anything good he'd ever dreamed of?

The liquid found its way out of his eyes, his shoulders shuddering as he sobbed – until a thought pierced his sorrow, drying his eyes and making him lift his head in cold shock.

Because if Felix had the peacock – and supposing that anything he’d said was actually true –

(which it isn’t)

– then Felix now had the power to snap him out of the world.

(which he wouldn’t, he wouldn't – but still)

If that was true –

(which it isn’t)

– then how could his father have agreed to hand over the peacock?

Chapter Text

Adrien sat on his bed with the grimoire on his lap, open to the section on the peacock. He’d cried so long that his body had gone numb. It was like it…just wasn’t there. Like he wasn’t there. His consciousness had flown off to some other place, lost in a haze of unwanted thoughts.

I’ve ruined everything with Marinette.

I betrayed her trust.

I’m a sentimonster.

Felix’s voice was scolding in his head. ‘Sentibeing!’

How many people knew? Aunt Amelie and Uncle Colt, obviously. His mother. His father. Nathalie?

Had she snapped Sentibug away knowing that sentibeings could be as real as him and his cousin?

Not cousin – brother.

This sent his consciousness plummeting back into his body. Reincorporating, he shoved the grimoire under his pillow and jumped from the bed. He had to get out, get away from these people. He had to run.

But run where? Like Felix said…as long as his father had that ring, he could drag him back anytime he wanted – make him do anything he wanted.

He raked his fingers through his hair – then flew out of the room with no destination in mind. Maybe Marinette’s. Despite what she’d said, he had to try, had to –

‘Adrien!’

He jumped back, his heart racing. He’d run directly into Nathalie, nearly knocking them both off their feet.

‘I’m so sorry,’ he mumbled as he helped steady her on her leg stents. And he was. Yet in the back of his mind, he heard Felix whisper to him.

She killed Sentibug. It wasn’t some misguided decision. She did it knowing what you are. She’s a bad person.

Nathalie frowned, her brow furrowed with concern. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I….’ After all this time, he’d finally fallen out of character. Everything that had happened…it was too much. He couldn’t keep up the charade anymore, couldn’t hide his emotions behind a fake smile.

He straightened, his heartbeat almost loud enough to drown out the voice screaming in his head that what he was about to do was a very bad idea. ‘Nathalie – am I truly my father’s child?’

Her mouth fell open. ‘Adrien…of course you are. Why would you ask such a thing? Who’s been putting ideas in your head?’

‘So, I’m not a sentimonster?’

‘A senti….’ Her gaze darted from his ears to his hair to his chin – anywhere but his eyes. She was buying time, trying to figure out how to reply, what lie she should feed him.

Because Felix was telling the truth.

All of this was real.

All of this was real.

He pushed past Nathalie, nearly knocking her down again. He couldn’t let her see him cry. Couldn’t let her see him break.

‘Adrien! Your father loves you!’

He didn’t look back at her.

As he hurried through the mansion, he was hardly aware of where he was until he was in his father’s office, standing in front of his mother’s painting, stylised after Klimt’s Woman in Gold. She gazed across the room, avoiding his eyes just like Nathalie had, hiding her secrets just like she hid the safe in the wall behind.

He stepped closer, touching the painting with his fingertips, letting them trail down. ‘Is it true?’ he whispered to his mother’s ghost. ‘Did you really make me? Did you make Felix and allow my father to…discard him just like that?’

In a way, this was the hardest to believe. His mother was always so kind and gentle. Even when his parents fought, she would raise her voice sometimes, in passion, but she was never hostile, never cruel.

Or was I just programmed to see her that way?

And his father…. As awful as he could be…had he really threatened to snap Felix away?

The memory came to him again – of Felix when they were younger, asking about magicians.

‘I just want to understand, that’s all. If you magic away a rabbit, does it know it’s gone?’

His blood ran cold. Had he been that close to losing his cousin – brother – and not even realised? How long had the threat hung over him – hung over them both?

He swallowed down a wave of sickness, dragging his gaze away from the painting and staring around the room. In fact, he had sometimes wondered why there were no baby pictures in the house – and why his mind was such a blank before a certain age.

Then, one day, he’d found something. When he discovered the secret safe – when he found the grimoire. Beside it, there had been…yes, there was a drawing.

He rubbed his forehead, trying to bring back the details.

The drawing was in crayon, as if a child had done it. The sight of the grimoire had stolen his attention. But now that he thought of it…he didn’t remember drawing that picture.

Maybe I didn’t.

Was it still in the safe? Was it a relic of Julien, the original son? Did his father lock it away just like he locked away his grief and emotions in that stony chamber he called a heart?

He looked up at his mother’s painting again, touching it once more. ‘Who are you? Who am I?’

The door flew open behind him, but he didn’t turn to see who it was. The sound of heavy panting told him it was Nathalie. With her weakened legs, it must’ve cost her great effort to chase after him.

‘Adrien. We should talk.’

‘I disagree.’ Every time he tried to talk about these things with Nathalie or his father, he got blocked. I won’t let that happen ever again. If Felix found a way out, so will I.

Letting his fingers slide down the painting, he found the places to press. By now, he could do it with his eyes closed. Without a word, he stood back and dropped down into the basement, ignoring Nathalie’s cries behind him.

He charged down the runway, his aura cutting through the air. Normally, the butterflies brushed close to his face. Now they avoided him, as if they sensed a change.

When he reached his mother’s coffin, he touched it, making the lid slide open. This wasn’t a painting. She was the real thing – as real as he was. Her mouth was curved into a serene little smile, her eyes shut, as if she were merely having a rest.

He waited for the usual mix of longing and love for her…but it didn’t come. She wasn’t his mother – and not just because she was dead, but because she’d never been his mother. Not in the normal sense. She belonged to Julien, a boy who’d taken his parents’ hearts with him when he was taken to the grave.

‘Did you ever really love me, Mother? Or was it all a show? Were you always secretly comparing us?’

She didn’t answer.

He wiped his eyes and stepped away, leaving her behind – moving on – passing through the secret door and navigating the route he now knew so well, until he reached the lift and shot up into the dome.

No alarms went off. There was no security at all. His father had to be the most arrogant man alive.

The kwamis were darting furtive, worried glances at each other when they thought he wasn’t looking.

They don’t trust me.

And why should they?

His feet itched to run, to turn back, to get the hell out of this place and never return. But his father would only twist his ring and drag him back. Then he’d have to face the kwamis all over again. Only, it would be worse. He’d be a coward.

Taking a deep breath, he took one step, then another, crossing the room until he stood before the zodiac, forcing himself to look at each and every one of the kwamis in turn. He ended with Sass, the only one who knew him as anything other than The Purple Emperor.

Sass stared back, waiting for him to say something, to make the first move.

Adrien cleared his throat. ‘I’m…sorry.’ For what? There was so much. But all of it really came down to the same thing. ‘I didn’t want to do what I did. My father forced me, because I’m…I’m a….’ His hands balled into tight fists, his gaze dropping to his shoes. He couldn’t say it, couldn’t get the word out.

I won’t be a coward. I won’t be a coward.

He swallowed, forcing his gaze up again, meeting Sass’s eyes. ‘I’m a sentimonster. That’s how my father’s been controlling me.’

The kwamis gasped.

‘But it doesn’t erase my guilt. Hate me all you like. I promise I hate myself more.’ He did - he did. Even if he got that ring off his father…he could never run from himself.

Sass raised his hooded head. ‘Adrien…we’ve worked together before. In fact…I know more than you remember yourself, because I had to alter time to fix one of the Guardian’s mistakes involving you. I’ve kept your secrets safe…but I’ve also assured the others that you can be trusted. Whatever you’ve done…it isn’t you.’

The words were sweet, yet bitterness burned in Adrien’s throat. ‘People keep saying that, but I’m not so sure what is me, anymore.’

Sass sighed. ‘Only you can decide that.’

‘Yeah. Well. That’s not going to happen anytime soon, is it. Not as long as –’ He froze at the sound of the lift moving.

His father was on his way.

He had to do something – fast. He might never get the chance again. ‘Do you trust me?’ he asked the kwamis.

They looked to Sass for guidance.

‘We do,’ Sass spoke for them.

It was more than he deserved, but he took it. Reaching into the zodiac, he swiped two of the miraculous and slipped them on under his clothes, smoothing out his shirt and his features just in time.

His father rose up into the dome, hands clasped behind his back as usual, his face devoid of expression. If he was surprised to find Adrien there on his own, speaking with the kwamis, he didn’t show it. This was the man who’d made him – who’d once shown such love and kindness to another child.

Adrien remained in place, motionless, as his father stepped off the platform and approached him – walked a slow circle around him, studying him from every angle. The man knew damn well that he was intimidating – and that Adrien was awaiting judgment, punishment. His father had never hit him before – but there was a first time for everything.

His father stopped in front of him, seeming taller than ever. ‘Nathalie tells me you…might appreciate a conversation.’

Adrien kept his chin high, meeting his father’s hard stare. ‘I don’t have anything I want to talk about with you.’

His father arched an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth twitching as if holding back a laugh. ‘No? Even after what you’ve just learned?’

Adrien clamped his lips shut, to hold back the gasp at this final confirmation. He forced his legs to stay strong, to keep from trembling.

‘How did you learn it, by the way?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Ah. Felix told you.’

Adrien did his best to look impassive. What did it matter what his father thought of him, anyway? In all the time he’d been in the world, his father had been looking for someone else who wasn’t there. He must’ve sought him out in Adrien’s eyes and his smiles and his tears – and been disappointed each time Adrien failed to live up to the ideal that his father – Gabriel – had built up in his mind. A man like that would toss out someone like Felix.

With each thought, a knot in his stomach came undone. His shoulders relaxed, his heart lighter.

If I’m a disappointment just for being me…I have nothing to lose. I don’t need to keep trying to win his approval, because nothing I do will ever work. I can just…be me.

Whoever that is.

‘You’re still my son,’ Gabriel told him.

‘Do you really believe that?’ Adrien shook his head and smiled grimly. ‘You aren’t just trying to bring back Emilie. You want to bring back Julien, too. That’s why I’m so precious to you – I’m the sacrifice. That’s how this works, isn’t it? You could bring him back – I just need to die in his place.’

Gabriel pursed his lips. It was clear that he was trying to think up a satisfactory lie. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

Laughter bubbled out of Adrien’s throat. Nothing was funny, yet he couldn’t stop the eruption. He covered his face with his hands, trying to regain self-control. Maybe he was finally losing his mind.

When he removed his hands, he was grinning from ear to ear. ‘I can’t believe I actually wanted you to approve of me!’ More laughter tumbled from his mouth. ‘It was never going to happen. You will never accept me. I will never be your real son.’

Gabriel reached for his ring, and Adrien’s laughter stopped abruptly.

‘Adrien –’

‘No,’ Adrien bellowed.

Gabriel faltered for just a second – but that second was enough.

‘Fluff – Kaalki – unify!’ Adrien’s transformation was instant. Without another thought, he punched his arm into the air, a portal blossoming beside him.

‘Goodbye, Father,’ Adrien threw over his shoulder – and he leapt through, the portal sealing shut behind him.

Chapter Text

PART THREE

I broke up with Adrien Agreste.

It was the first thing Marinette thought when she woke up at….

She opened her eyes just enough to see the time on her alarm clock – nearly noon.

With a loud groan, she pulled the duvet over her head.

I broke up with Adrien Agreste. At least half the girls in Paris would think I was insane.

If I could go through the time burrow and visit myself a year ago, I’d think I was insane.

It’s…Adrien.

More than that – it’s Cat Noir.    

It had been a week since she’d last seen or spoken to him. A school holiday meant she hadn’t needed to worry about facing him in class. But in that time, she’d done little more than lie in bed and think of him.

Has he been thinking of me?

If so, he had a strange way of showing it. Even though she knew in her heart of hearts that she was the victim in this mess, he hadn’t so much as sent her a text to ask how she was.

Then again….

Maybe he feels so awful that he doesn’t know how to begin.

I did make it pretty clear that I wasn’t willing to listen to him.

How was this her life?

A loud buzz made her throw off the duvet, grabbing her phone from its spot on her pillow, next to Tikki. ‘If it’s him, I won’t reply. I just…want to make sure he knows how horrible he’s been.’

Tikki frowned. ‘Maybe you should hear him out.’

Even after having a week to work through the pain, Marinette’s heart still ached as though the incident had just happened. ‘What could he possibly say that would change anything?’

‘His father could’ve been controlling him.’

This was precisely the explanation Marinette didn’t want to hear – because it was too plausible, and that would mean she’d been unfair to Adrien.

She squinted at the phone screen, afraid to see his name – afraid not to see his name. Every bone in her body wanted to be angry at him for the rest of time – but her heart begged for some way to fix things.

Her shoulders drooped. ‘It doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s only Alya.’ She put down the phone without answering, then crawled back under the duvet, drawing it up to her chin and snuggling with it in place of the good hug she needed.

Maybe my rejection was all he needed to go fully over the edge.

Maybe the Adrien I knew is…gone.

‘Marinette?’ Alya’s voice came, not through a phone but….

There were footsteps, climbing into her room – too many footsteps to belong to just one person. Alya had brought everyone.

Tikki hid under the pillow, and Marinette pulled the duvet over her head.

If I can’t see them, maybe they can’t see me.

‘Marinette, it’s almost lunchtime.’ Alya climbed over the bed and flung the duvet aside. ‘Get up.’

She blinked a few times to clear the sleep from her eyes, then stared at her traitorous friend. ‘I don’t want to.’

Alya frowned. ‘Marinette…what is this?’

Marinette shrugged where she lay. ‘I really like my bed.’

Alya rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, girl. No one likes sleeping that much. You’re getting up.’

She grabbed Marinette’s hands and tugged at her, but Marinette made her body limp and lay heavily in the bed. Alya screwed up her face with determination and heaved Marinette up.

‘That’s better. Now go talk to your friends.’ Alya pointed down the ladder, her face showing there was no room for negotiation.

Marinette sighed. With her body slumped forward and arms hanging low, she plodded down the ladder. Rose, Juleka and Mylene had taken up the chaise-longue. Alix was in the desk chair. Marinette settled for the floor, lying face down with her nose pressed to the boards.

Alya climbed down and sat cross-legged beside her, just in her periphery. ‘Okay, well…that’s a start.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Mylene asked, her voice rich with concern.

Marinette stared at the floor. If she still had the rooster miraculous, she’d use it to render herself invisible. Better yet, make everyone forget she existed.

‘Have you been depressed?’ Rose asked. ‘Because sometimes I have really dark spells where I feel like the whole world is against me and nothing will ever be good again and I wish I’d never been born.’

She said this so brightly that Marinette turned her head on the floor to gape at her. The others stared too.

Rose gave a merry peal of laughter. ‘Oh, but then I think of all the great friends I have and how much we all love each other – and unicorns! And the spell passes.’

Everyone’s mouths hung open.

Then Alix cleared her throat. ‘I think she’s trying to say that we all have bad times, Marinette…so why don’t you tell us about yours? No one’s judging.’

She spoke with such warmth that Marinette had to press back tears. ‘I don’t think you’ll judge me.’

‘Then what is it?’ asked Alya.

Marinette held her eyes, then turned her face back to the floorboards. ‘I broke up with Adrien,’ she mumbled into the wood.

‘What?’ the others asked.

She said it again, louder. ‘I broke up with Adrien.’

They gasped. Then Juleka mumbled something that might have been, ‘That’s so sad.’

Marinette felt Alya’s hand on her back. ‘But why? You both seemed so happy – and this all happened so quickly. Was it because of things with his dad?’

This wasn’t a question easily answered. Everyone meant well but…she couldn’t be fully honest with any of them.

The wood was starting to hurt her nose, so she pushed herself up and sat, examining her hands in her lap. ‘It…started with his father. But it went past that. Adrien…he did something that really hurt me. I thought I knew him, but….’

When she glanced up, her friends’ eyes and mouths were drawn in sympathy. Why couldn’t everyone just go away and let her pretend this was a bad dream? Why did they have to make it feel so real?

‘Marinette….’ Alya’s brown eyes glistened. ‘I…I don’t know what to say except…that must be why he’s not answering any of Nino’s calls or messages. He must feel terrible about what happened with you.’

‘He didn’t show up for Kitty Section rehearsals either,’ Rose chimed in quietly.

‘And Kim and I were meant to have a race,’ Alix added. ‘Everyone was invited, but you and Adrien didn’t show.’

The room fell silent.

Then Alya slapped her thighs and stood up. ‘You know what you need? Ice cream.’

‘Yes!’ the others cried.

Marinette slumped even more. ‘That’s the last thing I need, Alya.’

‘No, really.’ Alya put her fists on her hips. ‘Ice cream – and your friends – and air.’

‘And a shower,’ Alix put in.

‘Fresh clothes,’ said Mylene.

‘And laughter!’ Rose clapped her hands.

Juleka mumbled something, and everyone nodded with vigour.

Marinette looked at each of her friends in turn, then sighed. ‘You’re not going to leave me alone unless I go, are you.’

They shook their heads.

She sighed again. ‘Alright.’ She pushed herself up onto her feet. ‘Ice cream it is.’

Her friends let out cheers, then started chatting away while she ran through the motions, getting washed, dressing herself. Alya had picked out an outfit for her, something brighter than she normally wore. Before she knew it, she was being shoved into a chair and the girls were doing her hair and makeup.

She tried to swat them away. ‘You don’t have to do this. Adrien won’t even see it.’

Alya let out an exasperated noise. ‘This is for you, girl. When you look good, you feel good. You shouldn’t need a boy around to do that for you, no matter who he is.’

When they’d finished, Mylene held up a mirror for her and she swallowed. They were right. Already she felt a tiny bit better, a tiny bit more alive - not just because of the makeover but because of the gesture. There were other people who loved her. Things didn’t need to fall apart because of one boy.

Except…it’s so much more than that…and I can’t tell them why.

She pushed the thought aside and beamed a lip-glossed smile at her friends. ‘Thanks, guys.’

They crowded in for a group hug.

Downstairs, her parents blinked with surprise at seeing her out of her room, then plied her with croissants. She had little appetite, but she forced one down to reassure everyone. Each bite made her feel sick, and she had to fight to hold it down.

They met the boys on the bank of the Seine, too close to the spot where she’d been akumatised the week before…her mind and heart invaded…violated. She wrapped her arms around her chest, as though the energy from the bridge might find its way to her and she might be akumatised again, in front of everyone.

This was the part no one talked about. Maybe because most victims didn’t remember being taken over. Every thought she had, there was a voice of doubt, questioning whether it was really hers. With every painful throb of the heart, her chest tightened, expecting to see a butterfly.

‘Marinette!’ Kim greeted her with too much enthusiasm. ‘You’re looking great – not at all like you’ve been in bed for the last week!’

Alix elbowed him hard in the ribs and he yelped, throwing her a perplexed look. She sighed.

Marinette nodded. ‘Thanks, Kim.’ It seemed like the only thing to say.

From the looks on the other boys’ faces, it was clear that the girls had texted them the news and no one knew the right way to behave. Even in this situation, everyone looked to her for guidance.

Did I come out here for them, or for me?

‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘People break up all the time, right? If you want to talk about it…I think I’d prefer if you did, so it isn’t all awkward.’

Their shoulders relaxed in unison.

‘In that case,’ said Nino, ‘I’ve been texting my boy Adrien for days and the dude’s not answering. Every time I call, his phone goes straight to voicemail.’

Max pushed his glasses up his nose. ‘It’s almost certainly switched off.’

‘Maybe he’s been in bed all week too,’ Ivan suggested. ‘He probably needs a hug.’

Mylene looked up at him in adoration and wrapped her arms around him. He snuggled her back.

Marinette looked away. ‘Well, I’m not going to be the one to give him that hug.’ Yet her arms ached to do it, to hold him and have him hold her back. She wanted her friend back. She wanted her partner back.

Alya pointed down the bridge. ‘Hey, there’s Andre!’

There were relieved exclamations, and everyone started running down the bank, to the ice cream trolley.

Marinette didn’t move. The last thing she needed was yet another cone of ‘peach like his skin and mint like his eyes’, with those little Cat Noir chocolate chips on top.

Or maybe he really is magic, and today he’ll give me a cone of liquorice – black like Adrien’s heart.

She nibbled at her lip.

Okay, maybe that’s a little melodramatic.

‘Hey, Marinette.’

She jumped, then turned to find Luka watching her. Luka, who knew Adrien was Cat Noir and Gabriel was Monarch. Luka, who’d been there when she was…attacked. Luka, the only person she could actually talk to…about something intensely awkward because he still had feelings for her.

Swallowing, she tucked her hands into her pockets. ‘Let me guess – Juleka messaged you?’

He nodded.

My friends are a bunch of traitors. I can’t even be left alone to sulk like a normal person.

‘So, you really broke up with Adrien.’

She shrugged to hide the tremble in her arms. ‘I had no choice.’

His eyes asked if she really believed what she’d just said.

‘I mean it. He crossed a line there’s no coming back from.’

Luka frowned hard and glanced around at the people walking past them. He gestured with his head for her to follow him to a more secluded place. Marinette shot Alya a text to let her know she’d gone on a walk with him, then put her phone away and allowed herself to be led to a bench on a quiet part of the bank, out of earshot.

Beside him, she fiddled with her fingers as she stared at the river that stretched out in front of them. She felt Luka watching her in her periphery, maybe trying to decide how to begin.

‘Marinette…why haven’t you gone to the police about Gabriel Agreste?’

She kept her eyes on the water. This was a question she’d turned over in her own mind for days. ‘I don’t think there’s much they could do. He’s too powerful. The police can’t exactly arrest someone who holds almost all the miraculous in his secret lair. Besides –’ Her voice broke, unable to finish that thought.

Luka leaned back on the bench. ‘You’re scared of what he’ll do to Adrien.’

‘Y-yeah.’ Her shoulders drew inward, her voice small.

He shook his head softly. ‘I’m so sorry – for both of you.’

She turned on him, her eyes hard. ‘I wouldn’t feel too sorry for him. He akumatised me – remember?’

‘I remember – believe me. It was…it was terrifying. But I also know that’s not Adrien. It can’t be.’

‘Maybe none of us know him as well as we thought we did.’

‘…maybe. Or maybe there’s more to the story. You went to see him after it was over, didn’t you? What did he have to say for himself?’

She crossed her arms and looked away, not even at the river but to her other side, so she couldn’t see the knowing expression on Luka’s face.

He sighed. ‘You didn’t let him explain himself, did you.’

She turned back to him. ‘He’s changing, Luka. You know what you said about him being desperate to have a bond with his father? I see it. His father is using him and controlling him and making him do terrible things. And Adrien is…just not fighting it.’

‘If he’s being controlled, do you think he can fight it?’

‘At this point, I don’t even care anymore.’

Luka lifted his brow, as if to say, Really? ‘So, when you last saw him, you…?’

‘…shouted at him and told him I didn’t want to hear his explanations.’ It sounded bad, said out loud like that.

Cat Blanc’s words filled her head. ‘You’re not even listening.’

She shivered at the memory and Luka took it for a chill, removing his jacket and hanging it over her shoulders. She didn’t bother to correct him.

‘Thanks.’ She pulled his jacket close. ‘Okay, so, you obviously think I’ve handled this all wrong. What do you think I should do?’

‘Honestly? I think you should hear him out. I thought he was going through a difficult time with his father, but I didn’t know just how difficult. If everything you’re saying is true…it sounds like Adrien’s being badly abused.’

‘Abused….’ The word was sour in her mouth.

Luka nodded slowly. ‘I remember when I was ten, I was bullied really badly by some of the kids in my class. That’s why my mother decided to homeschool me on the boat. I refused to go back.’

Marinette’s eyes widened. ‘I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Luka.’

He gave her a small smile. ‘It’s okay. I learned to play my own tune, on that boat, and I don’t regret a moment of it. That’s even why I took up guitar – to channel my feelings. Sometimes these things have a way of working out. My point is that it took me months to tell anyone what was happening at school. There was a counsellor who said it was normal to hide it. And that was just some idiots in class I didn’t really care about. If it had been one of my parents hurting me….’ He shuddered at the idea. ‘I probably would’ve kept it secret even longer.’

‘Why?’

‘Because – admitting that one of your parents is hurting you….’ He paused, seeming to see some painful scene playing out in his mind’s eye, then looked at her again. ‘It must be awful, Marinette. I’m so thankful that I can’t really imagine being in that position. But Adrien is. He wants this man to love him the way a father should – and if he speaks up about what’s really going on, he’ll have to accept that his wish will never come true. And if he turns his father in, he’ll be hammering the final nail into the coffin of that relationship.’

Coffin…. Her mind filled with the image of Emilie, serene and unageing in Adrien’s basement.

Shivering again, she refocused on the water, watching the small slow ripples as the wind pushed the river along its path downstream. ‘It’s even worse than what you say, Luka. The only people who can stop his father are Adrien and me. So, it isn’t even a matter of turning Mr Agreste in – Adrien would actually have to fight him.’

Luka nodded again. ‘Not to mention he’s been told over and over to keep all this miraculous stuff secret. You’re the only one he can really talk to about it.’

‘…and I shut him down.’ Her heart contracted and she dropped her head into her hands, tears prickling in her eyes. ‘I’ve really screwed up, haven’t I. I told him there was no way I could forgive him but…how is he going to forgive me?’

Luka placed a hand on her shoulder – lightly, as if worried he was overstepping a line. ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. You were hurt and you acted out of anger. That’s normal. But now you need to work through it and move forward…because that’s normal too. All friendships have their ups and downs…you know?’

‘So everyone keeps telling me.’ She took a long, deep breath, then lifted her head. ‘You’re right, of course. Tomorrow, at school – I’ll talk to him then. How’s that sound?’

He grinned. ‘Like the beginning of a beautiful new song.’

Despite everything, she grinned back. She was looking forward to hearing how that song went.

Chapter Text

When the alarm went off the following morning, Marinette woke up ready. Ready to return to school. Ready to see Adrien.

Speaking to Luka last night…it had helped. She had every right to be angry about what had happened. But she also needed to hear Adrien out. Because what he’d done…that wasn’t him. She did know him and he wouldn’t do that to her. Not unless he’d been forced to.

She shivered at the memory of him in her mind – in her heart – manipulating her thoughts and emotions.

Maybe that’s how he feels all the time.

Understanding made her eyes well. She had to talk to him.

No, she had to listen to him.

She shot up from her bed and hurried down the ladder, getting ready for school. Butterflies –

(butterflies)

– fluttered madly in her stomach. There was a real danger that she might be sick. Although she’d made up her mind to hear him out, how did she get Adrien to forgive her? She was always criticising Cat Noir for being too rash – but she was too. They had more in common than she’d let herself see.

On the plus side, she’d finally had more than five hours’ sleep, mercifully free of nightmares about a certain white cat.

Baby steps, she told herself as she brushed her hair into her usual pigtails and tied them back with ribbons.

When she’d finished, she set down her brush and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked…older, somehow. Like the last week had matured her, aged her. She wasn’t a young girl anymore. She was something more.

She reached for the mirror, tracing her reflection, trying to make sense of it. Did her friends see the change, too? Did her parents? Was that why everyone kept giving her those looks?

Tikki flew into the reflection. ‘You’re sure you’re ready for this?’

Marinette nodded, addressing her kwami through the mirror. ‘I should’ve given Adrien a chance to explain. If he really was under his father’s control…if Gabriel used that ring on him….’

Her throat tightened as Luka’s words from last night repeated in her head.

‘…it sounds like Adrien’s being badly abused.’

‘Tikki, Adrien is my best friend. I need to be there for him the way he’s always been there for me.’

Tikki nuzzled in close to her. ‘He’s so lucky to have you, Marinette. A true friend who’s willing to talk with him and resolve your differences.’

Marinette smiled and turned to pull her kwami into her arms for a cuddle. ‘Thank you, Tikki. I’m so lucky to have you.’

Taking a deep breath, she released her and lifted her head with renewed confidence. Then she stood and slung her schoolbag over her shoulder, heading downstairs, to the kitchen, where breakfast was waiting for her.

Her mother gave her a wide smile. ‘You look cheerful.’

‘Sorry if I worried you.’ Marinette shovelled cereal into her mouth. ‘There was something I needed to sort through – but I think I know what to do, now.’

She finished eating, then took her bowl and spoon to the sink, and kissed her mother on the cheek. ‘I love you, Maman. I’m so lucky to have parents like you and Dad. I don’t think I tell you that enough.’

Her mother drew back, examining her. ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

Marinette laughed. ‘I’m fine.’ She grabbed her bag again. ‘From here on out, everything is going to be good. I’m going to make sure of that.’

She left the house grinning and nearly danced her way to school. As bad as they’d left things the week before, her heart pounded with excitement over seeing Adrien again. It would be hard, but…she would hear him out…make her own apologies…and they would make a plan together.

Then we can move on from this mess.

She hurried up the steps into the school, her gaze roving around the campus in search of him.

‘Marinette!’ Alya called, joining her at the top of the stairs. ‘You’re looking so much better. Good talk with Luka?’

‘The best.’ Marinette stared at the street, willing Adrien’s car to drive up.

‘Looking for Adrien?’

Marinette checked her phone and frowned. ‘Classes start in less than a minute. He’s not normally this late.’

Alya laughed. ‘Are you kidding? He’s late almost as much as you. You just never notice because you’re…you know…also late.’

Of course. Because he was Cat Noir. Still…there was no akuma to fight right now…so where was he?

‘Come on.’ Alya put her arm around her shoulder. ‘Let’s get to class. I’m sure he’ll turn up halfway through with some lame excuse like he always does.’

Marinette looked at the road again, scrunching up her forehead, trying to send her psychic message to his car, to force it to appear – then heard the bell and allowed her friend to lead her to their language class.

Alya was wrong – Adrien didn’t turn up halfway through class. By lunchtime, it was clear that he wasn’t coming to school.

Ignoring her friends’ chatter, Marinette pushed her lunch around her plate, her appetite gone with her morning cheer.

If his father gets his way, maybe Adrien will never come back again.

After they’d eaten, she and her friends headed for the basketball court as usual. Marinette sat on a bench next to Alya, while the others stood in a circle around them.

‘Maybe Adrien’s really ill,’ Rose suggested.

Nino shook his head. ‘My bet is his old man made him quit school.’

‘But why so suddenly?’ asked Alya. ‘And why….’ She trailed off, her eyes finding Marinette’s – then darting quickly away.

But Marinette heard the question she wanted to ask. Why at the same time that we broke up?

Nino turned to her. ‘Didn’t you tell Alya that he was being brought into his dad’s business?’

Marinette looked up. All eyes were now on her. ‘Oh, uh…yes. So, it could be something to do with that.’ She played with her fingers, inwardly cursing her bad acting skills. Why was she so good at playing the part of Ladybug, but she couldn’t bluff her way through this conversation?

Chloe pushed her way into the circle, with Lila at her side, and Sabrina just behind. Chloe crossed her arms haughtily. ‘Dupain-Cheng, weren’t you supposed to be dating him, or whatever?’

Marinette swallowed. Chloe hadn’t heard the news yet? ‘We…we broke up.’ Her shoulders tensed in anticipation of the reaction.

Chloe doubled over with laughter. ‘Well, that’s your answer right there! He left because you were too lame, Marinette!’ She was clearly pleased with her powers of deduction.

Alya stood up, fists on her hips, and took two steps forward, pushing herself in Chloe’s face. ‘They didn’t break up for any reason like that. They broke up because –’ She faltered, then looked back at Marinette, to fill in the blank.

‘He…he did something that hurt me,’ Marinette said. ‘But actually –’

‘Oh, as if.’ Chloe examined her fingernails. ‘Adrien? You really expect me to believe he would do anything to hurt anyone? That boy’s too nice for his own good. Face it, Marinette – you spent all that time pining over him and then you finally got him and you just threw him away. You really are lame, Dupain-Cheng. No wonder he ran away from Paris or whatever.’ She flicked her blond hair in triumph.

Alya opened her mouth to defend her, but Marinette stood up and put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘N-no, it’s okay, Alya. I – I made some mistakes too, and….’ She trailed off, feeling the beginnings of tears forming in the backs of her eyes.

She tightened her fists.

I will not cry in front of Chloe and Lila.

Without another word, she turned and pushed her way between Rose and Juleka, hurrying away from her friends just as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

Please don’t follow me.

No such luck.

‘Marinette!’ a girl’s voice called after her. It sounded like….

Lila?

Marinette carried on walking.

Lila fell into step beside her.

Marinette wiped her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. ‘What do you want, Lila? To gloat? To laugh at me, like Chloe did?’

Lila put her hand to her heart. ‘You wound me, Marinette, you really do. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what’s happened. I know how much you care about Adrien, and I just can’t imagine what you might be going through.’

Yeah, right. ‘Whatever you’re up to this time, I’m not interested.’

‘See, I think you are. It concerns Adrien.’ Her voice had changed. It was low and suggestive.

Despite herself, Marinette stopped, her heart skipping a beat.

Lila stopped, too, and smiled. ‘I thought that would get your attention.’

Marinette rolled her eyes. ‘Just tell me what you think you know. Not that I’d believe anything you have to say.’

‘Oh, I admit I’ve told plenty of lies to you before. I guess I deserve your hostility.’

‘You think?’

‘But I genuinely want to make up for it, now.’ Lila leaned in over Marinette’s shoulder, so she could speak quietly into her ear. ‘See, I happened to overhear a conversation you and Adrien had recently – a very interesting conversation.’

Marinette’s insides went cold, her heart racing with worry. She swallowed down the panic and forced a bored expression. ‘I can’t see why any conversation we ever had would be interesting to you.’

Lila drew back with a devilish grin. ‘It was about his father. Something about him doing…bad things. Bad enough to land him in jail. But Adrien said he was too powerful to turn in without a plan.’

Marinette’s heart skipped a beat. Lila had heard that – had heard them.

But…she didn’t know the crucial details. She couldn’t or she’d…surely, she’d say it. She’d say she knew Gabriel was Monarch.

What would Chloe do? Marinette stared at her nails. ‘I’m not giving you information, if that’s what you want. When Adrien tells me things, it’s in confidence. But how about this one – Adrien told me he saw you at his house and heard you having an argument with his father. He also learned that you were assigned to spy on him, to keep him away from the wrong influences. I suppose that includes me.’

Lila’s smile froze. ‘You’re a fast learner, Marinette. That’s exactly what happened – but now Gabriel’s pulled Adrien in to be his confidante, and he said he doesn’t need me anymore.’ Her tone was bitter.

Marinette narrowed her eyes at her, a horrible idea forming in her head. ‘Why do you care? He’s too old for you, Lila.’

‘Ew!’ Lila wrinkled her nose. ‘It’s nothing like that. It’s just…it was nice to feel like someone thought I was valuable, for a change.’

Marinette blinked. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re being sincere.’

Lila glared at her with open hostility. ‘I am being sincere.’

Marinette sighed. ‘Okay. Suppose I believe you – why are you telling me this?’

‘Because – I want Gabriel Agreste to suffer. You say Adrien hurt you? Well, his father hurt me, and I do not let people get away with that. Especially him.’

‘And you thought I’d help because you can tell I’m not fond of him either?’

‘Like I said – you’re a fast learner.’

Marinette shook her head and resumed walking. ‘I can’t help you, Lila.’

‘Why not?’

Unbelievable. ‘You really want a list of reasons? Okay.’ She began ticking them off her fingers. ‘One, I don’t like you. Two, all this business with Adrien…well, it’s his business. Three, I’m just a normal girl with a normal life – what can I do about all of this?’ There. Now I’ve lied to you, too.

‘You might help me get some information about what’s going on at that creepy mansion. With the right ammunition, Gabriel might not be too powerful to take down anymore. We could help Adrien.’

Marinette almost stopped again. Having an ally to help her take down Gabriel Agreste was tempting – more tempting than she wanted to admit.

And he’s hurt so many people – either with akumas, or just with neglect. He’s even hurt Lila...f she’s to be believed.

And I’m meant to protect the people of Paris. Shouldn’t I be looking at every possible way to take this man down?

She opened her mouth to answer Lila – then closed it.

This is like those video games where you have to make a decision, and the rest of the game depends on this moment. If you team up with someone like Lila, what path do you think your character will take? Where does the game end up?

Her conscience spoke with Adrien’s voice. And her conscience had a point. When she projected the ‘game play’ of her life...if she accepted Lila as an ally, every path ended with a figure all in white – herself. Her very own Cat Blanc.

This isn’t the way.

‘Revenge never solves anything,’ she said – and she hurried her steps, rushing away from Lila, through a door and down one of the many hallways that wound round the campus –before she could change her mind.

Chapter Text

After school that afternoon, Marinette let her feet carry here wherever they would, wandering aimlessly around the streets, ending up sitting alone on a bench in Place des Vosges, staring at one of the fountains.

A torturous sequence of memories washed through her mind – of hiding in that fountain with Adrien when he was being followed by fans after the release of that silly perfume ad she’d watched a thousand times – and watching him pose for a photoshoot back when they were only just starting to get to know each other as friends.

Her heart clenched, a small cry forming in her throat. Things had seemed so simple, then. If only she could turn back the clock, return to the days when she had no idea who Cat Noir or Monarch were, and her biggest problem in life was trying to muster the courage to tell a boy she liked him. It was hard even to imagine this now – to imagine a time when she didn’t know Cat’s identity – when she had no idea what a complex character Adrien Agreste truly was.

A man walked past, with his dog. She followed them with her eyes, then leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands.

Could Chloe be right? Had she really driven Adrien out of Paris?

Impossible. His father would drag him back.

Unless he’d sent him on another tour.

But then…how would Gabriel use him for the akumas?

What were the other options? Adrien had gone full evil and taken over his father’s work? He’d rebelled and was being held captive in a tower? He’d run away and joined a circus? He’d invaded his father’s lair, stolen the rabbit miraculous, and now was on a journey through time?

She dragged her hands down her face. This was getting ridiculous – especially that last idea.

Maybe…maybe he was in London, with his cousin.

She drummed a rhythm on the grass with her foot. She’d been so caught up in her personal drama that she’d forgotten they still hadn’t managed to speak to Felix to ask why he’d helped Gabriel get the other miraculous. What did Felix get out of that deal? Why was the peacock so important to him?

The sound of her phone ringing made her jump. With shaky hands, she answered the call, trying to summon the cheer she didn’t feel. ‘Hi, Kagami – what’s up?’

‘Adrien didn’t show up for our fencing lesson today.’

‘Oh, I….’ Come to think of it, that was strange. Even if Gabriel had removed him from school, he’d make Adrien keep up his lessons.

‘That’s not all. He hasn’t been answering my calls. Every day, they go straight to voicemail – as if his phone’s switched off. And he isn’t reading my messages. Did I do something to offend him?’ This was delivered in her usual monotone, but her distress was clear.

‘You didn’t do anything wrong, Kagami. He isn’t answering anyone. He wasn’t at school today, either.’

‘Is he ill?’

‘Not that I’m aware of. The teachers seemed surprised at his absence, too.’

‘Has he recently experienced a traumatic incident?’

‘What? No. I mean….’ Was that the right way to describe it – traumatic? ‘We, um…we broke up.’ Her voice cracked. Repetition of the admission didn’t make it hurt any less. Her eyes were welling again, and she wiped them with her sleeve.

‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’ Kagami’s voice had softened. ‘Did he hurt you? Let you down?’

That was…an insightful guess. ‘Actually…yes. He…he let me down.’

‘I understand. He did the same to me. But it saddens me to know he’s done it to you.’

‘Th-thank you but….’ Adrien had hurt Kagami by not telling her he was Cat Noir – something she was in no position to judge him for. ‘I’m…not sure what happened between us was quite like what happened with you.’

‘It no longer matters. Adrien and I weren’t meant to be together. You and Adrien are.’

‘You…you really think so?’

‘Do I….’ She could imagine Kagami shaking her head at her down the line. ‘You must talk to him. After we broke up, I spent a long time thinking about how hurt and disappointed I felt. I came to see this was because my expectations were too high – because my mother has trained me that way. Probably Adrien had something going on in his life that he didn’t feel able to share with me. Probably the fault was partly mine, for not being someone who made him feel at ease. You need to make him feel at ease, Marinette.’

‘Yeah, I…I think maybe that ship has sailed.’

‘No,’ Kagami said with such force that Marinette drew back as she’d just shouted in her face. ‘If it’s meant to be, there’s always another chance. You need to talk to him – give him the opportunity to speak, then listen to what he has to say.’

‘That’s exactly what I intended to do today, but he wasn’t in school.’

‘So you’re giving up.’ It was clear from Kagami’s dull voice that Marinette had disappointed her, too.

And maybe I’m disappointed in myself.

Marinette balled her fist and leapt to her feet, adopting a Ladybug fighting stance. ‘You know what, Kagami? No. I am not giving up. I’m not going to let a little thing like Adrien not turning up to school stop me. I will go to him – in person – and I won’t leave until I speak with him. I’ll hear what he has to say, and I will discuss things with him and make sure he knows he’s not alone.’

‘Yes!’ Kagami cried. ‘Don’t hesitate. Go now!’

‘Now! I’m on my way as we speak. I’ll let you know how it goes!’ She ended the call, then ducked behind a large bin at the far end of the park.

Tikki flew out. ‘Good for you, Marinette! You’ll sort this out with Adrien and be back to business in no time. I knew you’d find a way to fix things!’

Marinette grinned. ‘That’s my job as Ladybug – I fix everything. Tikki, spots on!’

Transformed, she hurled her yo-yo, leaping onto the nearest rooftop and swinging her way towards the Agreste mansion. All this wallowing…enough was enough. Drowning in a pool of self-pity didn’t help anything. Adrien might be in serious trouble, waiting for her to save him. And even if he wasn’t…they needed to work things out, not just for themselves but for all of Paris. Either way, every second counted.

She landed on Adrien’s bedroom window ledge and peered inside. He didn’t seem to be there – and the door was shut – so she slipped inside.

Last time she’d crept through his room without him knowing, Bunnyx had turned up and hauled her into the future to face off with Cat Blanc. That day, she’d snuck into his room for selfish reasons. But not today. This time, she was there to help her partner. This was about him.

Except…he really didn’t seem to be here.

She leaned against the babyfoot table, staring around the empty room. He’d missed school and fencing…yet wasn’t locked away in his room. Did he spend all his time in the dome or the basement with his father, now?

Even if he did…surely, he returned to his room to sleep at night. Yet it looked like he hadn’t been there for days. Even a boy groomed to be as tidy as Adrien had to leave some signs of occupation.

A quick rummage around his desk revealed that he’d left the computer on…so he must be coming back soon.

Or he left in a hurry.

The thought set her heart racing.

When she moved the mouse, the login screen popped up. She sat in the desk chair and hovered the cursor over the password box, half her mind debating the ethics of hacking into his private documents, while the other half was already trying to guess the password.

She tried Emilie, with no luck.

Well, she hadn’t really expected to figure it out on the first try.

She tapped her finger on the desk, then tried typing Marinette.

…it worked.

She did a sharp intake of breath at the sight of his desktop wallpaper – a collage of images of Ladybug, taken from the Ladyblog. All that time, he’d kept his own version of the photo board she kept above her bed.

Her heart ached, the tears already forming again in her eyes.

He really loves me as much as I love him.

And I pushed him away.

She derailed that train of thought before it could reach its bleak destination, focusing instead on his computer, on the mission. A scan of his applications history told her nothing had been opened in over a week. His email inbox had been left open, too, and all the emails over the course of the last week were unread.

A chill flew down her spine. Chloe’s idea about him running away was sounding more plausible by the second.

Unless something had happened to him.

‘…it sounds like Adrien’s being badly abused.’

Sickness churned in her gut. She rolled herself back and stood so quickly that she nearly tripped over the chair. Then she headed into the ensuite bathroom, where the air was stale, suggesting the door had been closed for days. Leaning against the sink, she took one slow breath after another as she stared into the mirror, as if she might find him in there.

When the sickness faded, she came back out and sat on Adrien’s perfectly made bed – then lay down on her side, tucking her knees into her chest. The bedding smelled like laundry detergent, not like him. When had he last slept here?

The pillow felt hard. Maybe she was being precious, but…was there something there?

She reached under and pulled out a book. When she’d sat up and laid it on her lap, she sucked in another breath.

This wasn’t just any book. This was the grimoire.

A memory flashed in her head, of that day she’d dropped by to take him out of the house and caught him reading something. He’d stuffed the book under his pillow, as if he was hiding it.

But why would he keep it from her?

Was it because she once kept it from him?

A scrap of paper peeked out, like a bookmark. When she opened the book, she was faced with a double-page spread about the peacock miraculous. One passage of coded text was rumpled, the ink blurring, like water had fallen on that part of the page….

Or tears.

Her hands trembled as they gripped the sides of the grimoire. Every nerve in her body was screaming that she was about to open some door she could never shut again. That Adrien had already opened it, and whatever he’d found was the reason he’d vanished.

She swallowed and pulled out her phone, bringing up the encrypted translation file she kept. Holding it beside the physical grimoire, she read the damaged text as if for the first time.

‘The peacock enables the holder to call into reality a living being, seeded by the emotions and intentions of that holder. If, for example, the holder intends to create a human, the so-called “sentimonster” will, in fact, be human. It will not be a facsimile of a human but a true human in his/her own right. From that point forward, this sentimonster will grow and evolve like any other person born of man and woman.’

She drew back, staring at the image on the page – at the original coded text – at the dried tears. Why had that made Adrien so emotional?

With a grunt of frustration, she slammed the book shut. Maybe as the Guardian she should have more reverence but…this was getting her nowhere. She was looking for connections where they didn’t exist – excuses for his absence that didn’t involve her. But the truth was….

‘It’s all my fault.’ Saying it out loud made it sink in a little deeper. ‘Adrien left or…aligned with his father…and it’s all because I didn’t let him speak when I had the chance. I didn’t stop to listen to his pain.’

Despite how awful this was…a weight lifted from her shoulders, like she’d just given confession. There was relief in admitting your mistakes. If only there were someone she could talk to about it.

But there was no one to turn to. Not unless she counted the kwamis, who didn’t understand human relationships – or Master Su-Han, who seemed even more clueless about these things than the kwamis.

This was worse than when she didn’t know Cat Noir’s identity. At least then she hadn’t known what she was missing. Now she was Ladybug without her kitty – without her friend – and without a plan.

Hugging the grimoire to her chest, she stared around his room, tears sliding down her cheeks. ‘Adrien, come back. I’m sorry. Adrien…where are you?’

Chapter Text

Deep inside the burrow, Adrien floated, suspended in the stuff of time. The temporal windows whirled around him, shifting and morphing with each of his passing thoughts.

Heart racing, he twisted around to check behind and…yes, the portal had sealed. His father hadn’t followed him.

He’d escaped.

He’d found somewhere his father couldn’t just twisted that damned ring and drag him back from.

Letting out a long breath, he fingered the pocket watch – the tiny sunglasses he wore – the rabbit and horse miraculous he wielded. What now? What was his next move? He’d jumped through the time portal without much of a plan.

Ladybug was right – I’m too impulsive, sometimes.

The truth was, he often felt like he was tied to the end of an invisible string and being drawn down a certain path. He didn’t always know where that path would lead, only that he was on it – and when he felt the tug of the string, he sensed which direction he should go.

Others, like Ladybug, probably felt that tug too, but they resisted it. Maybe that was something to aspire to – or maybe they caused themselves unnecessary suffering by fighting fate. All he knew for sure was that a moment ago…or in the future or the ancient past or however it worked when you were currently outside time…the string had tugged him out of the dome, away from his father, and into the time burrow.

No plan. It just seemed like the thing to do, at the time.

Now that he was here, though…he could probably stay in the burrow as long as he liked…then use Fluff to return to the moment he’d left. No one would even miss him. And with Voyage, he could go wherever he wanted. He didn’t have to go back to that dome – to his father.

Though, the ring would find him. As long as he was connected to that thing, he would never be free.

Because I’m a – I’m a –

He still couldn’t bring himself to think the word. But…that was okay. He’d been gifted the chance to take a literal time out, away from everyone, while he attempted to process things on his own – even if it took years.

…right?

How did this work, exactly? He was still breathing, which suggested his metabolism was still working. Did that mean he’d need food? Would he age?

A bizarre fantasy played in his mind, of returning to Ladybug, her still fourteen and him twenty-three. He put up his hands and played with the rabbit ears he’d grown in his transformation. Maybe he should’ve studied the rabbit section of the grimoire more…but he’d been distracted by the peacock.

He swallowed hard and focused on the time windows. As they whipped around him in endless circles, an idea came to him. He’d had no plan before coming here…but now he knew what had brought him – what he was meant to do. The string was tugging on him again.

Eyes closed, he concentrated on the image he wanted to bring to the surface. When he opened his eyes again, the desired moment filled the ‘wall’ before him and played out like an old film.

It was the Agreste mansion, but not as Adrien knew it. The décor was from another era, more than two decades out of date. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, illuminating the people sitting on the bed.

In a way, Emilie looked the same. Her face was slightly rounder and her skin a little pinker, but that was all. Gabriel, though, was like a different person. His hair was dark and his eyes bright, his mouth curved into an unfamiliar smile.

Emilie held a baby to her breast, gazing down at him with the astonished eyes of a woman not quite used to the idea of being a mother. The baby cooed and batted his arms awkwardly, unsure how to move them.

‘He’s beautiful,’ Gabriel said. ‘Just like his mother.’

Emilie turned her head, smiled, and kissed him softly, before looking at the baby again. ‘I still can’t believe we made him. He’s so perfect.’

Gabriel’s gaze was soft and lazy. He reached over and ran a finger gently down their son’s cheek. ‘I know just what you mean. It’s incredible that he’s real.’

‘What do you think he’ll be like when he’s older?’

‘Probably a little firecracker like you.’

‘Or determined and bloody-minded, like you.’ She nudged her shoulder to his, and they both laughed.

When the baby cooed again, Gabriel reached out his arms. ‘May I?’

Smiling, Emilie handed the tiny parcel to her husband, who took it like he was handling a bomb.

Emilie giggled. ‘It’s okay. He isn’t going to break.’

Gabriel shook his head, apparently unconvinced. ‘He’s so light and tiny. I could hurt him so easily.’

‘But you won’t. You love him too much for that.’

‘You’re right.’ He gazed down at their son. ‘Little Julien, I'm going to do everything I can to protect you. No one will hurt you or let you down. You’re going to be the happiest little boy who has ever lived.’ He rubbed Julien’s cheeks gently, adoringly.

‘Oh, Gabriel.’ Emilie sighed. ‘You can’t promise things like that.’

‘I can. I just did.’

‘Everyone gets hurt sometimes – and he will too.’

‘I won’t allow it.’

She put a hand on his arm. ‘You won’t be able to help it. He might take a tumble and scrape his knee. Or maybe other children will be mean to him. What will you do to prevent that? Lock him in a tower like Rapunzel?’

Gabriel furrowed his brow in mock consideration. ‘Hmm…that’s not such a bad idea.’

‘Oh, Gabriel.’ She gave his shoulder a playful slap. ‘I’m serious.’

‘So am I. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt our son. I promise you that.’

They locked eyes, staring at one another with such tenderness, it felt wrong to watch. When Emilie kissed him and leaned her head on his shoulder, the trio looked like they might have been posing for a photograph – the perfect family.

His breath short, Adrien swiped his hand through the air, making the scenes fly past, as if scrolling through a series of online video search results.

Scene after scene, he watched his parents laugh together, dance together, talk intimately together – saw them steal chaste kisses when they thought no one was watching, and sometimes longer ones even when people were.

He watched Emilie cry with happiness as Julien crawled to her for the first time, across the living room floor – and Gabriel hurry for the camera as Julien took his first steps. And when he said his first word – ‘ball’ – Gabriel’s reaction suggested no child in history had ever possessed such natural genius.

A seed of uneasiness lodged in Adrien’s heart, sprouting and blossoming with each new image on the time screen. Uneasiness and…longing. Disbelief. Grief.

Emilie was everything he remembered or imagined her to be – but Gabriel was not. This Gabriel was unrecognisable. He walked with his hands swinging at his sides. He sometimes wore jeans and t-shirts. He smiled often, and laughed so hard that the corners of his eyes creased up and tears watered his cheeks. His voice was musical and light.

Seeing Gabriel happy, it was easy to see why Emilie had fallen in love with him.

Julien’s death must have changed him – permanently. He isn’t just struggling to move on from Emilie. He lost his whole family.

Adrien paused the images. His heart was pounding, anticipating what came next. He touched his hand to his chest, taking one slow breath, then another, steadying himself – readying himself. He had no wish to watch a child die…but he needed to see the moment his father changed.

He closed his eyes again and concentrated, bringing to mind all the dark energy associated with the grief he expected his parents felt after they lost their only son. Then he opened his eyes and slowly swiped his hand through the air, the scene growing dim.

Even in the time burrow, he felt the chill emanating from that memory.

It was the same room where they’d once held newborn baby Julien – Emilie and Gabriel’s bedroom. The low glow of moonlight trickled through heavily curtained windows, with only a faint lamp to illuminate the room.

His parents sat on the bed in much the same pose as they had during that proud moment maybe six years before. Instead of Julien, Emilie held a stuffed cat toy. It was solid black and looked well worn, like it had been slept with every night for a long, long time.

With glassy eyes, she stared down at the toy and wept – brought the cat to her chest and wept – hung her head and wept.

Beside her, Gabriel faced the other direction. Gone was his easy smile and loose posture. He was rigid, his hands carefully posed in his lap.

Now and then, he cast furtive glances at his wife, then returned his gaze to the dark curtains that hid their grief from the outside world. Once, he seemed to reach for her hand, then appeared to think better of it and put his hands back in his lap.

One might have mistaken his manner for coldness. But Adrien knew how it felt to be so consumed by grief that you didn’t have anything left to give to anyone else – even those who shared your pain.

‘I want our baby back,’ Emilie made out in a strangled voice. She appeared to be speaking the cat, as if it were a magic talisman that held the power of resurrection. ‘It was just an illness. He was supposed to get better…and then he just…didn’t.’ She whirled on her husband, making him jump. ‘Why was he taken from us? Why, Gabriel, why?’

Gabriel remained silent, not moving a muscle, almost not blinking.

She balled up one of her fists and struck his chest. ‘I just want him back!’ she shrieked. ‘Gabriel, bring him back!’

Gabriel didn’t fight back or push her away. He remained seated, his expression blank, silently receiving her blows. Perhaps if he responded, he would lose his mind and never find it again.

Emilie didn’t seem to see what Adrien saw – that in that moment Gabriel was incapable of supporting her…but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to.

She leapt up from the bed, her green eyes flashing. ‘How can you just sit there and say nothing? Don’t you even care? Our son just died, Gabriel, and you can’t even hold me?’

When he remained impassive, she flung the cat at him. It bounced off his face and landed on the floor.

Emilie stood, panting, waiting for him to react.

Gabriel turned his head slowly and stared at the toy. Then he slowly rose to his feet and exited the room, leaving Emilie to fall forward onto the bed and weep.

Adrien’s heart broke a little more with each of his mother’s sobs. His legs itched to step through the time window and merge with the scene. His arms yearned to hold her the way Gabriel hadn’t. His voice begged to assure her that his father loved her and would be back for her when he was ready.

But he’d terrify her. The ghost of recently departed son? She’d run a mile. And that was before considering the consequences of meddling with time.

At least she wasn’t alone. He was there, even if she didn’t know it.

Does it matter? a dark voice whispered in his mind. She’s not even really your mother.

Shivering, he pushed the voice out of his head. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t her original son. No one should have to suffer like that on their own.

And he was still attached. He still loved her. His heart didn’t care about logic.

Just when he couldn’t take it anymore, her shoulders went still. She peeled herself up from the bed, looking exhausted and all dried out. Her gaze went to the bedroom door, perhaps wondering when her husband would remember her. Then she stared ahead, meeting Adrien’s eyes without seeing him.

Breathless, he reached for her, for the time window, stopping just before his fingertips touched it – before he could create a catastrophic paradox. Then he swiped the scene away, dissolving her image and hugging himself, feeling more confused than ever.

Chapter Text

It was hard to say how long Ladybug had been sitting on Adrien’s bed, staring around his vacant room. Long enough to have forgotten she was there, slipping too easily into a stream of memories, each one a new weight in her chest.

Like the first time they’d met as Adrien and Marinette. She’d been so quick to judge, all because he happened to know Chloe. Only later did she see how kind and warm he truly was.

Or the first time they’d met as Cat Noir and Ladybug. She’d been quick to judge then, too, because he wasn’t freaking out like she was. Again, it was only later, when he gave her that pep talk and all his support, that she saw who he was beneath the jokes, the bravado.

It took even longer to see the real strength he carried within. And then she still didn’t work out that he was Adrien – that the two boys who made her heart throb and head spin were one and the same.

Each and every time, she’d got it wrong, too blinded by her own ideas to see what was right in front of her.

Just like the night he’d akumatised her. She’d made up her mind about what had happened, and that was that. She’d run out on him before he could show her she’d got it wrong again.

Her hands tightened around the grimoire she still held in her lap.

She had to find him – had to fix this – had to make sure he knew he hadn’t lost her…just like he’d done for her the night she’d lost the miraculous. And there was only one person who might have some idea where he’d gone.

Shaking, she set the book aside and got to her feet, crossing the room and opening the door. It was risky, walking around the lion’s den in full costume…but it was better than doing it as Marinette and giving the whole game away.

Holding her breath, she left his room, walking the length of the hallway – slowly, keeping an ear out for footsteps or voices.

Where are you, Nathalie?

For lack of a better plan, she began cracking open doors, just enough to peek inside. They seemed to go on forever, revealing the kinds of rooms she’d only ever seen on a Cluedo gameboard or period dramas on television. There was even a library, full of more books than it was possible to read in one lifetime.

What did such a small ‘family’ even need so many rooms for? And who had gone to the trouble of decorating them? It was obvious no one used most of them. Some looked like Gabriel’s style, but others…. Were they Emilie’s work? Nathalie’s?

As she took her next step, a sound caught her ear – the tell-tale clatter of fingers on keys, coming from behind one of the doors.

Swallowing, she tiptoed to the door and leaned softly against it, her ear to the wood. Yes, definitely typing. The question was…who was in there?

She drew back and gripped the handle – then froze. Her heart was racing and her skin was covered in goosebumps.

Trembling, she let go of the handle, staring at it, listening to those keystrokes.

What was she doing?

She’d broken into someone’s home – and not just anyone’s home but Gabriel Agreste’s. He’d only have to snap his fingers and the police would come for her. She’d have no choice but to run, evade the law – de-transform somewhere and never be Ladybug again. She’d have to give up her miraculous.

And that was assuming Gabriel was a normal man – which he wasn’t. This was Monarch’s home. What if it was him behind that door? Was she ready to take him on, just her on her own, while he had all those other miraculous?

Her feet were already stepping away, back the way she’d come.

A voice in her head made her stop again. It sounded like…Luka. What if it’s Nathalie? Isn’t that why you’re here? To find her and get information about Adrien?

She swallowed. Because that was true…but what kind of danger would Adrien be in if she got this wrong? What was she risking, here?

It doesn’t matter. He’s already in danger. You feel it, don’t you?

She did. In every bone in her body, she felt the threat. It seemed to ooze from the walls of the mansion.

Taking a deep breath, she approached the door again, then stared at the handle like it might grow arms and grab her.

This is ridiculous!

She shook herself out and squared her shoulders. If she had to stop being Ladybug…so be it. Adrien was more important. He needed her.

Without further thought, she opened the door. The gamble paid off. Nathalie was sitting in her bed with a laptop. She looked up and let out a cry of surprise, her eyes large.

Ladybug released the breath she’d been holding. This was Mayura? She looked so frail and…vulnerable….

‘W-what do you want?’ Nathalie demanded.

Ladybug closed the door gently and approached the bed, large for just one person. She avoided Nathalie’s questioning stare, instead glancing around the room, at the unusual choice of décor – masks and vases and other curio. Nathalie’s choice? Or memories someone refused to renounce?

Forcing herself to seem steadier than she felt, she sat in a wooden chair that was next to the bed. ‘I’ve been approached by some friends of Adrien’s. They say he’s missed school and extracurricular activities and hasn’t returned anyone’s calls or messages for more than a week. They’re very worried and want to know where he is.’

Nathalie held her eyes, her expression unreadable – perhaps weighing up the situation. Then she sighed, maybe deciding she had no upper hand. Not while she was weakened in that bed. ‘You’ve wasted your time. I don’t know where Adrien is. Nor does his father. Adrien’s missing.’

Ladybug kept her face neutral, holding down the scream rising in her throat. It just…couldn’t be. Nathalie had to know something. ‘You’re lying.’

‘I wish I were. I care for Adrien as if he were my own son. He appears to have….’ Nathalie stared at her laptop screen, her eyes dark with regret. ‘He ran away.’

Ran away….

The words were like bullets to the chest. So, Chloe was right. Did he run because of me? Or…. ‘Because of what he found in the basement?’ The words were out before she could consider the consequences.

Nathalie’s mouth fell open. Then she closed it, straightening in the bed and holding her chin a little higher. ‘I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Okay, now you’re lying.’ Anger made Ladybug lean in closer, a lie of her own ready to roll off her tongue. ‘Adrien came to me with information. He told me about his mother’s body – and the butterflies.’

Nathalie’s pupils dilated, and Ladybug drew back in amazement.

She’s afraid of me.

She wasn’t the powerful Mayura, here. She was just a woman, aged beyond her years, her energy drained by the magic that had once made her so strong. Did Gabriel ever warn her of the consequences of using the peacock? Did she regret any of it?

Nathalie’s shoulders fell in defeat. ‘So, he turned his father in.’

‘No. He reached out for help. Out of respect for his son, I’ve kept Mr Agreste’s secret – for now.’ This much was true, at least.

‘…is that a threat?’

Ladybug shrugged.

Nathalie narrowed her eyes at her, studying her, perhaps thinking, Who is this girl?

Someone with layers. Someone you don’t want to mess with.

‘I still can’t help you,’ Nathalie said. ‘I genuinely don’t know where Adrien’s gone.’

‘Then tell me what happened leading up to his disappearance.’

‘Why should I?’

‘Because for the moment, I’m the only person outside this family who knows the true identity of Monarch – and because we both care about Adrien. We both want to find him. Help me find him, Nathalie.’

Nathalie stared at her, perhaps registering the desperation in her voice – then set the laptop aside and leaned back against the headboard as if exhausted. ‘He had a telephone call with his cousin.’

‘Felix?’

She nodded. ‘You know him?’

‘More than I’d like.’ Ladybug frowned. ‘Do you know what they talked about?’

‘They talked about…Adrien’s mother.’ She dropped her gaze to her hands.

His mother? Why would that make Adrien run away? Did he learn something – maybe about how she’d died…? Was that why the grimoire was stained with tears on the page about the peacock miraculous?

Questions raced in her mind, almost as fast as her heart. When it was clear that Nathalie wasn’t going to divulge anything further, Ladybug leaned in again, forcing her to meet her eyes.

‘I’m going to be really blunt,’ Ladybug said in a low, even voice. ‘I know Gabriel Agreste used you. You channelled the miraculous of the peacock and you paid for it with your health.’ She gave the woman a once-over, for emphasis.

Nathalie drew away, pressing hard against the headboard. ‘Does…does Adrien know all this?’

Ladybug nodded. ‘And I think he wants to forgive you – but it’s hard, when you’ve helped his father do so many bad things. You’ve hurt a lot of people, Nathalie. If I turn you in, I don’t think Gabriel will come to your rescue. He needed you for a while, but when he gets his wife back, he won’t need you anymore. He doesn’t even need you now. You’re too weak.’ She leaned back in the chair again. ‘I’m right, aren’t I.’

Watching Nathalie’s hands tremble like that…guilt fluttered in her chest.

She’s done awful things.

The argument did nothing to still the tempest in her stomach.

Whatever she’s done…I don’t have to do awful things back.

‘I’m not threatening you,’ she said, her voice softer. ‘I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself – and I really hope you’ll take it. Everyone deserves a second chance.’

Nathalie’s eyes looked wet, like maybe she’d been dreaming of such a chance for a long time but decided it wasn’t possible for someone like her. ‘Even…even Mr Agreste?’

Ladybug blinked. A loud voice in her head screamed, Of course not! But she choked back the unhelpful words. ‘Even Mr Agreste. If we help each other now, maybe we can find a way to help him too.’ That really would be miraculous.

Nathalie stared at her hands…then turned towards a photograph hanging on the wall. A picture of what looked like her, Gabriel and Emilie Agreste when they were younger. When she looked back at Ladybug, something in her eyes had changed. She was ready to share what she knew. ‘Felix stole the peacock. That’s what he traded for your other miraculous.’

‘I already worked out that much. What I want to know is why he wanted the peacock so badly.’

‘Insurance. He didn’t want anyone controlling him ever again.’

‘Controlling him? What do you –’ Then it hit – like a truck. ‘Are you saying Felix is a – is a –’

Nathalie nodded.

‘But…but….’ She gripped the sides of the chair for support.

‘I know. He seems so real – is that what you mean to say?’

It was.

‘Sentimonsters aren’t dolls or toys or figments of imagination. You wish them into being. Whatever you intend them to be, that’s what they are. Emilie Agreste intended for her boys to be real – to be human – and that’s exactly what they are. They eat, sleep and dream like real people. They grow like real people. They think like real people. They love and hurt like real people.’

Ladybug put up her hands. ‘Wait, wait.’ It was too much. The room seemed to be spinning, one word repeating in her head. ‘Did you say b-boys? P-plural?’

‘…yes.’

‘Are you saying…Adrien?’

Nathalie nodded again.

Ladybug stared at her. Then jumped to her feet so fast, she knocked the chair over. ‘No.’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be. You’re telling me stories again to keep me off the truth.’

‘No, you have to be. You – I can’t trust you. This is all some ploy you thought up with Gabriel. After everything you’ve done, you –’

The wind was knocked out of her. She’d uncovered her face, locking eyes with Nathalie. The air grew thin and her chest heaved with panic.

She’s being completely sincere.

All this time…Adrien is a….

She swallowed hard, focusing on the chair, on picking it up from the floor, righting it, sitting down again. ‘S-supposing I believe you…are you s-saying Adrien f-figured this out?’

‘…yes. Felix told him and I confirmed it. Then Adrien took off into the basement, and I haven’t seen him since. He had some kind of altercation with his father and disappeared, but Gabriel won’t give me the details. As you say, he…doesn’t need me anymore.’

Marinette could almost taste her bitterness.

‘I honestly don’t know what went on between them or where Adrien is. All I know is Gabriel was greatly shaken by it and he's kept to himself since.’ She meant it. It was clear in her voice and her eyes. That was the end of her story.

Ladybug sat, motionless, numb. Each revelation was a hard pellet lodged in her lungs, making it impossible to breathe. It wasn’t just about what Adrien and Felix were. It was more.

Nathalie knew about them, but she destroyed all those other sentimonsters anyway.

And I destroyed them too.

I killed them.

‘What are you going to do with this information?’ Nathalie whispered.

Crawl in a hole and never face anyone again. Give up my Guardianship so I can forget any of this ever happened.

Ladybug forced a lump down her throat. ‘Y-you’ve been open with me, so I’ll be open in return. Gabriel is too powerful to leave to the police. The only way to stop him is to f-fight him. But I believe that would hurt his son – and I don’t want that. I was being honest when I first came here – I just want to find Adrien.’

Nathalie’s brow furrowed in question. ‘Why do you care so much about him?’

I love him – so much that I feel like I’m dying. ‘He…came to me for support. He trusted me. I can’t let him down.’ She clasped her hands together, trying to steady them.

That’s how Gabriel controlled Adrien. His amok must be in the wedding ring. Gabriel really did force him to akumatise me.

And I rejected him.

She wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes. This wasn’t the time or the place for that. She had to stay strong.

Nathalie was watching her closely. ‘You know…I don’t want to let him down, either. So, I’ll tell you what I believe happened a week ago.’

Ladybug’s chest tightened with expectation.

‘Remember – this is just a theory, but…well, Adrien never came out of that dome, which means he probably –’

‘– used one of the miraculous!’

‘Exactly.’

Now her adrenaline was rushing for a new reason. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? ‘If I were in his position, I’d use the miraculous of the horse to teleport out of there to somewhere safe. He must be in hiding!’

Nathalie shook her head. ‘Maybe that’s what you would do…but what if you actually were Adrien?’

Ladybug opened her mouth to reply – then closed it. Cat Blanc’s words flashed again through her head.

‘You’re not even listening.’

She tried to listen to him now – to slip into his mind and heart and feel what he might be feeling, rather than projecting her own thoughts onto him.

Then it came to her – the solution she’d already guessed but laughed off as ridiculous. But it wasn't ridiculous at all.

The rabbit.

She met Nathalie’s eyes again, the answer clear in her heart. ‘I’d be looking for answers to who I am.’

Chapter Text

Deep inside the burrow, Adrien moved the visions further on in time. It was too much, too painful, watching his parents grieve over their lost son. Seeing them so weakened made his heart ache – his father especially.

He couldn’t afford to get sidetracked by his emotions, here. He had an opportunity and he needed to use it.

What would Ladybug do if she were here instead?

He rubbed his forehead, trying to channel inspiration.

Then it came to him. He needed to know how his parents first got the idea to use the miraculous. How did they learn of them, in the first place?

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, releasing all other thoughts and concentrating on the moment he wanted to see. Then he opened his eyes and drew his hand across the ‘wall’, bringing the memory to life.

All of the most significant Agreste family moments seemed to take place in that bedroom. Now, Gabriel and Emilie stood at opposite ends of the room. The way she hugged herself, looking away, it was clear this wasn’t enough space for her.

She huffed with impatience. ‘What you’re talking about…it’s insane. We need to hold Julien’s funeral. We need to tell people he’s gone.’

‘But what if he doesn’t need to be?’ Gabriel’s voice was frantic – desperate. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days.

Emilie had put her hands to her ears. ‘I can’t listen to any more ravings based on some old book you bid way too much money on at an auction house.’

Across the room, Gabriel swatted at the book he held – the grimoire. ‘These aren’t ravings, Em. If you’d just give it a chance –’

‘Give what a chance?’ She whirled on him, her green eyes flashing. ‘Some old myth about a hidden temple in Tibet – a region that doesn’t exist in its own right anymore? How are we even meant to get there, hm? Doesn’t the Chinese government have the whole region on lockdown?’

‘And why do you think they did that? Why go out of your way to fight a war with a bunch of Buddhist monks in the Himalayas? Monks who couldn’t even properly fight back? The government didn’t urbanise the region afterwards. There was no profit – unless they had other intentions and we’ve all been fed a cover story.’

Emilie shot him the look of a woman at the end of her tether. ‘Let me guess. The real story is that the monks weren’t just some peaceful Buddhists.’

Gabriel nodded.

‘So, the Dalai Lama’s in on it too, I guess?’

Gabriel shrugged. ‘Maybe – or maybe he didn’t know! Maybe there was a secret order, only for the elite.’

‘And the Dalai Lama wasn’t elite enough. Gabriel, do you even hear yourself?’

He sighed. ‘Please, Em. This could be our chance to –’

She put up a hand to stop him, now wearing the expression of a panther on the brink of pouncing. ‘Don’t say it, Gabriel. Don’t put crazy ideas in my head too. You can’t bring Julien back – okay? You can’t bring him back.’ All her fire burned away, her features crumpling and her voice breaking.

Gabriel crossed the space between them and took her hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. ‘But, Emilie…what if I can? Would you really give up the chance without even trying?’

She blinked – then shook her head and pulled out of his grasp. ‘Gaby, this is crazy. It’s like something out of Pet Sematary.’

‘I’m not trying to raise a zombie. I want to bring him back exactly as he was.’

She hugged herself again and looked at the floor. ‘There’s always a price, Gabriel.’

‘Does that mean you believe me?’

‘Not at all.’

Gabriel stood motionless, staring at her, like he was waiting – like he knew all he had to do was stay quiet long enough and she’d come around.

Her arms loosened and she sighed deeply. ‘God, if it’ll make you shut up, then I’ll go with you – if you can find a way in.’ She laughed without humour. ‘This whole argument is pointless, because no one’s allowed in that region anyway.’

Gabriel took her hands again and pressed them tightly. ‘But we have money – and with enough of it, doors have a habit of opening.’

Adrien skipped ahead, swiping through scene after scene of the two of them planning the trip – boarding the plane – landing in China – speaking to connections – trekking into the desired region. He stopped there.

Buried in snow, their peaks vanishing into the clouds, the Himalayas were like something out of a bad dream. Adrien shivered as if he were there himself, the cold sinking under his skin.

Gabriel and Emilie were dressed in thick layers as they hiked along the rocky ridge of a mountain too tall to take in. Their feet disappeared in the snow, and a frenzy of flakes fluttered about them like wild butterflies.

Emilie had her snowsuit pulled far over her face to protect it from the howling wind. She stood watching her husband trawl clumsily through the snow, digging at it with a long walking stick. Disappointment was written all over his face.

‘It should be here!’ he shouted into the icy wind.

Emilie glanced behind, at mountain peaks enormous enough to make you question your whole existence. ‘I want to go home!’ The wind caught her words, swallowing them.

Gabriel didn’t look up.

She chewed at her lip, then stomped through the snow with difficulty, nearly falling forward. When she reached Gabriel, she grabbed his shoulder with her thickly gloved hands.

‘If we don’t leave now, we could get stuck here.’ She pointed at the mountain peaks. ‘What if there’s an avalanche? No one even knows we’re here. Who would come looking for us?’

Still without looking at her, Gabriel poked through the snow with his stick, his movements feverish, obsessive. His lower lip jutted out in determination.

Emilie pulled at the outer sleeve of his snowsuit. ‘Gaby, we could die out here! I want our son back too but – not at this cost.’ She put her hands on the sides of his face and leaned in close to him. ‘I can’t lose you too.’

As she stared deeply into his eyes, his body went limp. His head hung so low, it was like his grief was a physical monster sitting on him, pushing him further down into the snow. ‘I’m so sorry, Emilie. Not just for today but for failing you and Julien. I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to him – but I broke my promise, Emilie. I broke my promise.’ His voice cracked like the ice on the mountains, and tears formed in his eyes, freezing at the tops of his cheeks.

She reached up, touching her forehead to his. ‘You made a promise that was impossible to keep. No parent can keep their child safe forever. We were just unluckier than most.’ Her voice cracked too, the syllables swirling in the cold air.

Gabriel folded her into his arms, clasping her tightly, like she was the true treasure he sought. ‘Let’s…let’s go back.’

She gave him a possessive squeeze, then disentangled herself and shot him a sad smile. Something passed between them – an agreement. They would get through this, one way or another. They had to.

In an effort to turn back, she stumbled and fell. Snow burst around her, spraying a fountain of white.

Gabriel was immediately on his knees, pulling her up. He opened his mouth, perhaps to ask if she was alright, when he froze, staring at something in the indentation she’d left behind.

‘What is it, Gaby?’ She followed his eyeline, then gasped. ‘Is that…like the picture in the book?’

He slowly reached out his hand, as if worried it was an illusion and touching it would make it disappear. With shaking hands, he picked up the two brooches – butterfly and peacock – and held them up with the reverence of a devotee.

‘It’s them.’ His voice was a stew of emotions. ‘It’s destiny, Em – I know it.’ He turned to meet her eyes, his now wild. ‘We’re going to get Julien back.’

His throat thick, Adrien swiped onward again.

It seemed that finding the brooches wasn’t enough. There was scene after scene of his father’s failed attempts at trying to understand how to use the objects they’d found – of his father holing himself up in his office, scanning through the grimoire, trying to make sense of it.

This, at long last, was a Gabriel Agreste he recognised…and yet, it wasn’t. This Gabriel was soft even in his obsession – took time out to offer his wife tender gestures – cried. He was someone you felt sorry for, not someone you feared.

Adrien’s eyes ached with unshed tears. This was the father he could’ve had.

If only I’d been the right boy.

Swallowing, he swiped further, quickly now, eager to get this over with. Maybe it was a mistake coming in here. Children weren’t supposed to know their parents’ secret selves. Not like this. Watching them through the time windows…watching all their pain and grief as if they were actors in a film rather than real people…it was wrong. Whatever his father had done to him, he –

Adrien’s hand froze, pausing the time screen. His lips parted, his body trembling.

No. No, this doesn’t make sense.

Hesitant, he twitched his fingers, letting the scene play, his eyes large with disbelief and his brain refusing to process what he was seeing.

But Felix said….

Cold certainty settled under his skin. Whatever Uncle Colt had told Felix…it was a lie. Or maybe he hadn’t known himself.

Adrien stared at the screen – and adrenaline kicked in. Heart racing, he swiped backwards, frantic to understand. Then he drew back and watched the truth unfold.

Gabriel was pacing around what would later become Nathalie’s bedroom, muttering. ‘It’s a matter of will. Like all magic. Mind over matter. I focus my intentions and I bring our boy to life.’

It must have been a self-pep talk, because no one was there with him.

‘Right.’ He took a deep breath and pinned the peacock onto his shirt, jumping when Duusu flew out.

‘Ooh!’ Duusu squealed. ‘A new holder! It’s been so many years! What shall we do?’

Gabriel held his hand to his heart, as if to steady it. His eyes were almost as large as Duusu’s, maybe shocked that things were working out exactly as he’d expected them to. ‘Are…are you…?’

‘The kwami of manifestation – that’s me. Just say, “Duusu, spread my feathers,” and you can channel my power. Then, pick an object that you want to project your intentions onto, and you can will whatever you want into being.’

Gabriel slowly touched his forehead. ‘I did it. I’m not crazy. The book really spoke the truth.’ He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

‘...book?’

‘Y-yes, the….’ He reached for it and held it up.

Duusu’s brow lifted. ‘The grimoire? Only the Guardians get to read that!’

‘…G-Guardians? You mean the monks?’

Duusu opened her mouth to respond – then gripped her oversized head and groaned. ‘Ahh! Something doesn’t feel right. It’s like my head has fragmented into a million pieces!’

Gabriel glanced down at the pin and gave it a tap. ‘It’s a little cracked.’

‘Ooh, yes, that’ll do it!’ Duusu frowned. ‘In that case, the energy might be a little off. I guess we’ll find out! What is it you want to manifest?’

‘Manifest….’ Gabriel’s mouth curved into a slow smile. ‘I really did this, didn’t I. I found Aladdin’s lamp.’

‘I am much better than some magic genie,’ Duusu huffed. ‘For one thing, I don’t limit you to three wishes.’

Gabriel’s gaze was dreamlike, as if he were sleepwalking. ‘I’m really going to do this. I’m going to keep my promise to my wife and give her back her little boy.’

Duusu cocked her head to the side in question, but Gabriel was already saying the words. ‘Duusu – spread my feathers.’

Mist swirled around him, and he threw out his arms to embrace it, like he’d been doing this all his life. When the mist cleared, his former clothing had been replaced with a rich indigo suit. In his hand, he held a Spanish-style fan.

When he saw it, he jumped - then hurried to a mirror across the room to examine himself, running his fingers down his cheek in wonder. ‘It’s just like the book s – ahh!’ He staggered, clutching his head in his hands, and fell to his knees on the floor. ‘Is this what the…kwami was feeling?’ His voice was strained with pain.

He remained on the floor for a full minute before forcing himself to his feet. ‘I have to do this. No matter what, I have to do this.’

Fists clenched and face screwed up with determination, he stood in place, maybe hoping Emilie would fly in and tell him he was wrong. When he remained alone, he straightened and closed his eyes. Adrien recognised that look. Gabriel was focusing his intentions.

‘Julien,’ he breathed.

He extended his hand, opening it and holding it palm up, like an offering. Nestled in it were his and Emilie’s wedding rings.

‘I bring these as the symbol of your parents’ love for each other. Julien – come back to us.’

At these words, mist emanated from the rings, swirling in the air, clarifying into two shapes. When Gabriel dared to open his eyes, before him stood two six-year-old boys with golden locks of curly hair and twinkling green eyes – the very image of Julien before he’d died.

Gabriel stumbled backwards, his mouth working but no words coming out. Maybe because his son had returned to him…or maybe because there were two of them. He put his hand to his temple, groaning as another spasm of pain shot through his head.

One of the boys stepped forward – looked up at him – reached for him. ‘Father? Are you okay?’ It was Julien’s voice.

Gabriel stared down at him – then at his twin – then fell to his knees once more. He buried his head in the carpet before the twins. For the first time since his little boy was taken from him, he allowed himself to weep.

If Gabriel expected Emilie to be happy with what he’d accomplished, he was disappointed.

In her now typical position, at the opposite end of their bedroom, she shouted at her husband. ‘They aren’t really Julien! They’re…they’re monstrosities!’

Gabriel kept a hand on each boy’s back, his stance protective. ‘They’re not monsters, Emilie – they’re living beings! We’ve been through this.’ His voice was thick with tears – with desperation.

Emilie kept her arms crossed over her chest. ‘How are we going to explain how we’ve suddenly ended up with twins? We can’t keep them, Gabriel! What were you thinking?’

‘Why did you let me do it, if this was how you felt?’

Emilie covered her face with her hands, taking a moment to gather her strength. ‘I thought this was just something you needed to do, to work through your grief. I didn’t expect it to work. Who would?’

‘I did.’

Emilie slowly uncovered her face, meeting his eyes, hers bright with sympathy. ‘I know you did. You never stop believing, and you don’t easily admit defeat. These are qualities I love about you, Gaby, but….’ She motioned at the boys with her hand, then gave a weighty sigh.

Gabriel really didn’t give in easily. Already, a scheme danced in his eyes. ‘Perhaps we can’t keep both of them – but one?’

‘And how do you propose to do that? Do you have control over these…things?’ She shuddered as she looked at the boys, who maintained perfect posture as they listened silently to every word.

‘I do. And I can…get rid of them,’ Gabriel said quietly. ‘If that’s truly what you want.’

‘Get rid of us?’ one of the boys asked, his eyes wet with alarm. ‘Why would you want to do that? Please don’t make me go away! I don’t want to go away! I want to stay!’

He darted forward, across the room. ‘I love you, Mother! Don’t you love me?’

Emilie backed away, and the boy stopped in place. The message was clear – she would never love these children.

Even so, she turned her head slowly towards her husband. ‘Gabriel….’ Her voice was shaky. ‘What happens when you…? Are they truly alive?’

He nodded. ‘Flesh and blood. I willed them into being, but they’re as real as you or I, now.’

‘And if you…?’

‘I can’t say. It’s no more certain than it is for you or me.’

She looked back at the boy who’d rushed for her, who still stood before her, staring up with all the desperation of anyone fighting for the right to life. Her eyes grew large, perhaps with the memory of another little boy’s passing. ‘So, we might be…be….’

‘Very possibly,’ Gabriel whispered, his voice strangled.

Emilie shuddered. ‘Don’t…don’t disappear them.’ She swallowed and smoothed down her clothes. ‘We’ll…speak to my sister. Perhaps she and Colt will take one. They’ve been trying so long for a child.’

Gabriel’s eyes gained new light. ‘You mean you –’

‘Don’t make the mistake of thinking these boys are Julien. They are not Julien, and they will not bear his name.’

‘And if anyone asks what happened to Julien?’

‘Tell them…tell them he got better and we changed his name. Let them think we’re eccentric. Let them think we’re insane. At least that's honest.’

The boys stared uncomprehending, but Emilie was already hurrying from the room.

As his stomach folded in sickness, Adrien swiped onward, watching himself develop, homeschooled and hidden away from questions. It made more sense, knowing his origins. There was a reason for his sheltering – not just because of how he’d come into the world, but because of Julien. They’d already lost one child. Gabriel meant to hold to his vow, this time. He would protect his son even if he had to lock him away in a tower to do it.

Yet, uneasiness crept up Adrien’s spine – because he didn’t remember anything he was seeing. Who was this father who spent so much time with his son, doting on him and teaching him? And who was this mother who only ever returned hugs with reluctance – who never made the first move – who shuddered every time her little boy came near?

His chest tightened as he watched, swiping through each scene, trying to find something he recognised. It was like some other life that had happened to another boy, not him. Was this just what happened when you were a sentimonster?

Sentibeing, Felix’s voice corrected in his mind.

Fine. Whatever he was. Did it do something to your memories? Was it possible that he’d just blanked out or even distorted all his impressions of his parents?

No. There had to be some other magic at work here. That much was certain, as he stopped on a scene he was certain he’d never lived through.

His heart pounding, he drew back and watched his father die.

Chapter Text

Ladybug sat stock-still in the chair beside Nathalie’s bed. It was like her body had forgotten how to move – her mouth had forgotten how to speak. Her breath came short and fast, and her heart thumped like a….

Rabbit.

Adrien had taken the rabbit. He’d gone into the time burrow. He was searching for the answers no one else would give him.

She jolted into motion, twisted in her seat, her eyes scanning the room for...for inspiration. ‘I…I need to find him…somehow.’

‘And how are you going to do that?’ Nathalie’s voice had taken on its former edge, like she hadn’t quite given up the fight yet, no matter what the state of her body suggested.

‘I…I don’t know, I…I….’ Nathalie was right. She couldn’t exactly jump back in time herself. Adrien had the rabbit – and Bunnyx hadn’t shown up.

No one was coming to fix this for her. Everything that was happening…it was how it was meant to be. She couldn't control this.

She slumped back in the chair, staring at her hands, her useless hands. He was out there, somewhere – somewhen – and she couldn’t help him. There was nothing she could do for him.

Nathalie’s expression softened. ‘I know we’re all so used to looking after Adrien, but…I think this may be something he has to do for himself. He’s smarter and stronger than people think.’ It was like she’d read her mind.

‘I know that,’ Ladybug snapped – but Nathalie was right about this too. She’d never given him enough credit – certainly not as Cat Noir. And now he was – he was –

She covered her face, tears spilling through her fingers. Was he safe, at least? Was he happy? Had he found what he was looking for? Would he ever –

Nathalie cleared her throat, her voice quiet. ‘Forgive me for saying but…you and Adrien must be…quite close.’

She wiped at her eyes. What was the point of keeping it secret now? What difference would it make? ‘I l-love him.’

‘And he loves you.’

Ladybug gave a jerky nod.

Nathalie let out a sigh. ‘That’s good. It means he’ll come back.’

‘Y-you think so?’

‘Oh yes. The things we do for love….’ Her eyes danced with memories – and maybe regrets.

Ladybug’s blood ran cold – because she kept forgetting. Nathalie was Mayura. Nathalie had helped Monarch on more than one occasion and kept his secrets all this time. She needed to be reported to the police, or at least to Master Su-Han.

Yet, seeing her in that bed like that…the woman was already suffering. No physical prison could measure up to the psychic one she’d made for herself.

Still….

Her hands clenched around the sides of her seat. The question climbed up her throat, the words burning like acid. ‘Why did you support Gabriel all this time?’

Nathalie’s eyes fell closed.

‘Come on, Nathalie, you’re not stupid. You must know he’s evil. Why would you help him?’ She was almost yelling but didn’t care.

Nathalie let out a heavy sigh. ‘…I wanted Emilie back.’

‘…what?’

She looked away – at Emilie’s photo on the wall. ‘She was my best friend. I adored her and…then one day, she was gone. I wanted her back as much as Gabriel.’

Ladybug swallowed, her face flushed with anger. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. ‘Is that what you told yourself when you killed that senti-Ladybug, even knowing what Adrien and Felix are? That it was all for Emilie?’

Nathalie’s eyes found their way back to hers. ‘What?’

‘I’ve killed sentimonsters too but…I didn’t know. I didn’t see that they were conscious, living, breathing beings. It…doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. But I didn’t know – and you did.’ Her tears had dried, grief giving way to anger – to fiery confusion.

Nathalie held her gaze – then let out a silent laugh.

‘What about this is funny?’

‘Nothing, just….’ Nathalie shook her head. ‘You’re right. I’m a murderer – not that anyone can do anything about it, because I left no bodies.’

A chill flew down Ladybug’s spine.

Nathalie’s mouth curved into a bleak smile. ‘Isn’t that what you want me to say? You wanted my confession, didn’t you?’

Yes. No. Not like…not like that.

‘Deep down, though, you know you’re not so innocent yourself, Ladybug. You can tell yourself you didn’t know you were killing anyone, but the truth is you probably suspected. I bet there was some niggling doubt underneath the surface. You just didn’t listen to it.’

Ladybug’s body trembled. Cat Blanc’s words echoed in her head. ‘You’re not even listening.’

‘I see I’ve struck a nerve.’ Nathalie didn’t look pleased about it. Her expression was grim, like they were two people – two equals – sharing the same tragedy.

I’m done with this. Ladybug staggered to her feet, towering over the ailing woman in her bed.

Nathalie smiled again and leaned her head back, her face lined with exhaustion and age that didn’t make any sense for her years. ‘You got your answers and now you’re leaving me.’

‘Well…yes.’

‘You need to get out soon, before you start relating to me – maybe even start pitying me.’

‘No! That’s not – that’s not what this is.’ Her chest heaved with anger.

Nathalie gave a solemn nod, like she knew better. ‘Okay.’

The rage ripped out of her. ‘We are not the same! You hear me? WE’RE NOT THE SAME!’

Somehow, her fist was raised, like she planned to hit something – maybe Nathalie, who wore a maddening look of calm, maybe even expectation…like she hoped Ladybug would hurt her.

Ladybug stared at her fist like it was separate from her, like it had a will of its own and she didn’t recognise it. Then she pulled it in close, holding it to her chest so it couldn’t get away.

She flew from the room without looking back, hurrying down the hall with no destination in mind. She just – she needed to get away…from Nathalie…from herself. She didn’t stop until she was back in Adrien’s bedroom, slamming the door as if it were her own room and she was angry at her parents.

But this wasn’t her room. It wasn’t even her house. She’d broken in and probably just drawn everyone’s attention.

What if Gabriel was home? She hadn’t even asked.

What was happening to her?

She plummeted onto Adrien’s bed, curling her knees into her chest and cradling his pillow to her chest. She breathed in deep but only got the smell of laundry detergent. There was nothing in that pristine room to reassure her that he was still in the world. It was like he’d just...been snapped out of existence.

Her blood turned to ice.

Oh god oh god oh god….

Now that she knew what to look for, the clues were everywhere. The way everyone, even she, called Adrien ‘perfect’ – the same label they’d given Sentibug. That time when Wishmaker attacked and Cat admitted he couldn’t remember having any childhood dreams. The lack of baby photos all over the mansion. The way his father controlled him.

Because he was – he was –

Her friend. Her best friend.

Her partner.

The person she loved most in the world.

And he was gone.

She squeezed the pillow harder, the tears spilling from her eyes.

Whatever Adrien was…he was real, he was real. All those conversations she’d had with him – with Cat. All the times he’d sacrificed himself for her without thinking, as if he had a right to die – as if some instinct told him he didn’t belong in the world in the first place. The softness of his lips on hers….

Maybe he’d been conjured up in a moment of desperation, some point long ago – Felix, too. But they were distinct – unique – with their own personalities, their own drives and desires. Didn’t that indicate free will?

They had a right to exist.

And that meant so did all the others Ladybug had killed.

A list rolled through her mind.

We made Feast explode.

I made that little girl smash her bank to make Kuro Neko disappear.

Strike Back…we made a portal and dropped the duplicates into the sun. We burned them alive.

It had seemed the obvious solution, at the time. The Strike Back replicas were destroying all of Paris. Most of the population had likely died in the devastation. The city had been on fire. She’d had no choice but to do something drastic, to restore things to their former state.

She hadn’t thought of Strike Back or its replicas as living beings – just monsters created by Shadow Moth, not meant to be there. Their right to existence had never crossed her mind – until now.

That’s why Felix didn’t join us at the end.

Everything made sense in retrospect.

But if she’d known the truth…would she have done anything differently? Could she? Had there been a third way that she simply hadn’t seen? Had she even looked for it?

Her shoulders shook with emotion. If only Master Fu were there to answer her questions about all this. If only Master Su-Han were the kind of master who took the time to explain things to her.

But…they wouldn’t help. The way Fu acted with Feast…he’d never considered that sentimonsters might be real, either.

How many of them had been killed since the peacock miraculous had been made? And were they all the same? Or were some truly mindless drones, while others were conscious beings? If they hadn’t killed Feast, would there somehow have been more to him, too? When you broke the connection between the sentimonster and its master, did it evolve?

Just how much death was she responsible for?

She forced herself to sit up, releasing the pillow and wiping hard at her eyes. Then she retrieved the grimoire she’d abandoned on the bed, dragging it onto her lap and thumbing through it.

Her gaze landed on a double-page spread about the black cat miraculous. There was an illustration of a previous holder who looked nothing like her Cat Noir. He was too old, too large, too hard. That wasn’t a man who found the fun in fighting or told jokes to cut the tension. Maybe Adrien wasn’t anymore, either.

She flipped onward, finding the peacock, her fingertips touching the ripples in the page – the passage Adrien had cried over. Her own tears fell, mingling with his and damaging the page further.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled out her bug phone and brought up the translation of the text, reading the passage again.

‘If, for example, the holder intends to create a human, the so-called “sentimonster” will, in fact, be human. It will not be a facsimile of a human but a true human in his/her own right. From that point forward, this sentimonster will grow and evolve like any other person born of man and woman.’

Oh, Adrien. That was why he’d cried. He wasn’t sure he was real.

But he was. His parents wanted a real boy, and a real boy they got.

And at least some of the creatures she’d killed were probably real, too.

She slammed the book shut, her head heavy and cloudy. She dragged her hands over her face, dizzy with déja-vu – like she’d been through this before. Impossible as it was…something told her she’d learned all of this another time, maybe in another life, and…then forgotten. Now the memories were pressing down on her shoulders, pushing her down, down into the bed, as if she were sinking right through it.

I killed them.

Nathalie’s right – I’m just like her. I’m a murderer, too.

There was a tickling sensation in her brain, like fingers or….

Feathers.

Then a kind of pressure in her mind – a probing. Someone was trying to get inside. But it wasn’t Adrien, this time.

She sat up straight, glancing around the room. There was no one there, yet she felt a cold presence with her.

‘Ladybug….’ She heard the voice with her ears, as if it were external. As if someone was really with her. It was a voice that was both familiar and strange at once – delicate and malevolent in its seduction.

‘Fight him!’ Another voice, in her mind – Cat’s.

She gripped her head, gritting her teeth against the spike of pain as Monarch turned up the pressure.

Yet her heart was already softening, weakening, allowing entrance. Words kept repeating in her mind. I killed them I killed them I killed them….

Her hands dropped slowly to her sides, her shoulders relaxing and her vision hazy, filling with a face – a man in a purple mask.

‘At last, I’ve found you,’ Monarch murmured. ‘At last, something has happened that is so awful that you’ve let down your mental barriers. After all this time – you’re mine.’

Chapter Text

Deep in the burrow, Adrien watched the time screen with large, wet eyes.

Gabriel had made him – not Emilie.

Gabriel had used the broken peacock miraculous.

Gabriel was weakened by it.

With a heavy heart, Adrien swiped through the images of the past – through scene after scene of the man growing frailer by the day – a man he didn’t recognise as his father.

Yet he recognised the illness. Each symptom brought back a stab of memory – about his mother…and Nathalie.

The way Gabriel touched his forehead and scrunched up his face in pain, as if incapacitated by migraine. The way he flailed for a wall each time he stood up, something to support him before he could fall with dizziness. The sallow look to his skin. The body fat receding, revealing the shape of his bones. The way his eyes seemed to sink into his face, staring blankly at something only he could see – perhaps what awaited him after he left that world.

Adrien swiped onward, pausing on the funeral. Numb, he watched the casket shut on his father’s body – watched the coffin get lowered into the ground – watched the soil get flung on top, sealing him away forever.

There was no getting around it. The man had died.

So who the hell is my father?

He drew back, his heart pounding with fear – the fear of carrying on, of finding the answers he’d come here for. The story of Pandora’s box came to mind. When he opened that box, he could never put the lid back on. Could never stuff away the emotions.

Even now…he’d gone too far. If he made another portal and left the burrow…he’d never be able to put this behind him. Maybe he’d find a way to carry on with his life, pretend this never happened. But at night, when he was alone with his thoughts…he’d remember. He’d wonder.

He took a long, deep breath.

I can do this. I need to do this.

Even as dread settled in his core, he lifted his hand again – and watched.

Emilie stood closest to Gabriel’s grave, her fist stuffed in her mouth. While everyone else cried, her expression was angry, her body trembling. Her eyes were haunted, perhaps remembering the last time she’d lost someone – their little boy, who’d never had a real funeral. He couldn’t. Not when she had to pretend to the world that he’d never died. He was standing right by her side, twelve years old and perfectly healthy – perfect in every way.

She dropped her fist and turned to him. ‘You weakened him.’ Her voice was loud. Everyone heard. Everyone looked.

Adrien’s green eyes were wet with grief, his mouth open with confusion. ‘W-what do you mean?’

She shook her head like he was being deliberately obtuse, her face red with rage. ‘You weren’t supposed to be here, but Gabriel brought you and it killed him!’ She shouted this, her gaze finding Felix, who nestled into his adoptive mother’s arms.

Emilie didn’t stop. ‘You killed him! You killed him you killed him you killed him!’ She was screaming and thrashing, even when Uncle Colt grabbed her and pulled her away, leading her from the funeral.

Even when he’d stuffed her in a car, the words could still be heard through the windows, all the way across the green. ‘You killed him! You both killed him!’

As the images swept by, Emilie sank further and further into grief, taking to her bed for days on end, with nothing more than alcohol to keep her company. In these scenes, her son was always in his room – alone.

Gabriel’s personal assistant Nathalie moved in to help. In the burrow, Adrien watched the two women form a close friendship, a bond that brought back memories. Finally, this was something familiar. Some of the moments they shared were even things he remembered being part of.

But he wasn’t part of them in these scenes.

Which made sense, because his father never died.

Something else happened.

The fear had fled him, replaced by a need to know. He swiped on, now impatient to find the answers – until a scene caught his attention. Emilie, in that same bedroom where so many family milestones had taken place, pinning on the peacock herself.

Duusu flew out, eyes wide at the sight of her new holder. ‘Where’s Gabriel?’

‘That’s what you’re here for,’ Emilie said, her eyes hard. ‘Duusu – spread my feathers.’

Costumes always reflected the mindset of the wearer. Emilie’s was an indigo so dark it was almost black – a heavy robe draped around her shoulders and trailing on the floor, like a shroud, and a lace veil covering her face. Maybe her name was The Black Widow – because everything about her screamed supervillain.

She’d obviously done her research because her whole body went rigid with concentration. Wasting no time, she held out her hand, revealing a flower pin in the palm. Mist swirled around it and a shape formed, coalescing into a likeness of her late husband.

When she opened her eyes, her mouth curved into a smile – the kind that indicated she’d lost her mind.

The senti-Gabriel stood before her, blank and waiting to be filled with experiences. But they would only be sorrowful, because Emilie had expended so much energy in that wish that she fainted.

Gabriel, no doubt programmed to love and adore her, caught her in his arms. ‘Emilie, no – no, no, no!’

He swept her up and carried her out of the dark room, into the dining room, where a young Adrien sat alone with his half-eaten dinner.

‘Don’t just sit there,’ Gabriel snapped at him. ‘Give your mother some space!’ Without waiting, he cleared aside Adrien’s meal, the dishes smashing on the tiled floor, and laid Emilie out on the table.

Adrien leapt from his seat, eyes wide with shock – and not just because his father had returned from the grave. Because this was a man he didn’t know…a man who didn’t love him…a man like….

His mother…who was now as dead as his father should be.

This new father had been imbued with all the bitterness and resentment Emilie had always felt for the boy. His original father was well and truly gone, and no magic could bring him back.

In the burrow, Adrien raked his fingers through his hair. How many sentibeings were in this story? How much more could he take? Did anyone know? Did his father?

And if his father was created…was that why his mother died? Not because she’d made Adrien and Felix but because she’d made Gabriel?

He rubbed an ache in his temples – then lifted his head and swiped on through the timeline again until –

Oh god oh god oh god….

His blood chilled as he watched another Adrien grow cold and bitter, raised in a home with no love from either parent. Everything he did earned him punishment. Every thought he had, every feeling that captured his heart, was somehow wrong.

There was no cute school romance with Marinette. He didn’t go to school at all. Never made up his mind to bother, all his attention wrapped in the miraculous instead – in stealing the grimoire – stealing the butterfly brooch and transforming into the Purple Emperor…a name that apparently had history.

In this strange timestream, Ladybug was still Marinette, and Cat Noir looked so like him but…not quite.

Felix.

As Adrien watched, his shoulders tensed with jealousy – then relaxed. Their bond wasn’t right. This Cat Noir – or whatever he called himself – had been poorly chosen. They didn’t move to the same rhythm or pick up each other’s thoughts.

The Adrien of that timestream won, tricking them into handing over the miraculous. In his own lair in the dome, Felix and Marinette hunched at his feet, their arms and legs bound.

‘What kind of power trip is this?’ Felix demanded, his voice strained.

That unfamiliar Adrien loomed above his cousin – his twin. ‘It isn’t about power, dear brother. It’s about doing what’s right.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I’m talking about us, Felix.’ He pounded on his chest for emphasis. ‘We shouldn’t be here. If we hadn’t come into the world, Emilie and Gabriel wouldn’t be what they are today.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ Felix spat back at him. ‘I didn’t ask to be created. Now that I’m here, I don’t intend to go.’

Adrien smiled and stepped away. ‘Don’t worry. I don’t intend to wish you away – only me.’

‘W-what?’ Felix’s mouth had fallen. ‘Adrien, no – wait – don’t do this!’

But Adrien had already slipped the cat ring onto his finger, and the ladybug earrings onto his ears. He clasped his hands together. ‘Plagg – Tikki – reveal yourselves.’

The two kwamis expanded, filling the dome. They weren’t cute little creatures with oversized heads anymore. They were oversized everything. Maybe if they’d had more room, they would’ve grown larger. They radiated knowledge, wisdom, understanding – and when they looked at their ‘master’, their expressions were so full of pity that it was hard to fathom how he didn’t drop to his knees on the spot.

He held his ground, lifting his chin and uttering his command. ‘Gimmi – reveal yourself.’

The kwamis exchanged a look – then reached for each other, merging. In a blinding flash of light, they vanished, replaced by one being, luminous pink and insect-like, six arms stretched out wide. ‘I am Gimmi, the kwami of reality! I am everything that was, is, and will be!’ Its voice boomed through the dome, bouncing back on itself, so the words seemed to echo eternally.

Below, Felix and Marinette clung to one another.

But that other Adrien merely smiled. ‘I hear I get to make a wish.’

Gimmi bent down, inspecting him closely. ‘That’s right. What do you wish for? Riches? Power? Women?’

Adrien laughed silently and shook his head. ‘Nothing like that. I wish for a world where my mother is alive again, as she should be – and that she loves me.’

‘…and what do you sacrifice for this?’

‘Myself.’

In the time burrow, Adrien watched that universe collapse, a new one created in its place – death giving way to birth. In this new reality, Adrien was dead, but both his parents were alive.

The saga never seemed to end. He watched a new loving Emilie use the peacock to make Adrien again – fading into coma and leading Gabriel to take up the mantle of Hawk Moth, eventually succeeding and using the cat and ladybug miraculous to wish for a world where Emilie was still alive.

The universe ended and was recreated once again. This time, Gabriel lay in the coma and Emilie used the cat and ladybug miraculous to bring Gabriel back.

Adrien lost count of how many times this process occurred, each of them sacrificing themselves so the other might live – a life for a life, to balance out the universe, as the peacock miraculous broke more and more.

And with each revision, the tale shifted a little more. Julien was forgotten by all but Gabriel. Adrien and Felix had always been Emilie and Amelie’s boys. There were no more secrets to keep, no more stories to keep straight, because no one remembered.

When the imagery finally married up with his own memories, Adrien swiped it all away and hovered in the burrow, his head reeling as he tried to put everything in order.

Only three things were clear:

1. He and his father were not the originals. Nor was the mother he’d grown up with.
2. With the number of times the world had been recreated, it was uncertain if anyone was original anymore.
3. All of this had been going on too long. The cycle had to be broken – one way or another.

And it didn’t even begin with Gabriel or Emilie – it began with Adrien.

All these years, I’ve been paying for someone else’s choices – someone who isn’t in the world anymore.

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, then stared at the time wall again. Maybe there should’ve been…grief or…something but…shock had numbed him. Not just his body but his mind.

Images flew past, whirling around him, memories belonging to someone he was supposed to be but never could.

But if I’m not Julien – and I’m not even the original Adrien – then who am I?

Swallowing, he turned, glancing around, trying to think up his next move – when a face filled one of the other time windows locking eyes with him, as if in answer.

Cat Blanc.

Chapter Text

For the second time, Marinette – now as Ladybug – found herself pressing on Emilie’s painting and descending below Gabriel’s office and into the basement, where the body was kept. This time, though, she didn’t have Adrien with her. And she didn’t go by choice. She was controlled by Monarch, possessing her and forcing her through the motions, assuming she didn’t know the way.

She should’ve been completely under his power, unaware of who or where she was. When the spell was broken, she should stare around in confusion, wondering how she’d got there and forgetful of anything she’d done. That was what normally happened to akuma victims.

But Monarch had failed to take full possession of her. Maybe it was because she’d already broken a similar link before. In a way…Adrien’s akumatisation attempt had primed her. Part of her remained, locked within, silenced, but still aware.

Drawing her directly into his lair was a bold move. If Monarch failed, she’d know exactly where he worked, and how to get back there. It meant the idea of failure hadn’t crossed his mind. This was end game.

She moved as if in a dream, down the long runway in the basement, through a door at the back, into the sewer system. He steered her through a labyrinth of footpaths, until she hit a door, revealing a kind of lift that took her up into the dome.

It was dimly lit and without decoration – other than the strange wheel of cages. Empty cages.

Where were the kwamis?

She got her answer when she spotted Monarch himself, dressed in a midnight-purple suit and phantom’s half-mask, and adorned with all the remaining miraculous. He stood with his legs slightly apart, one hand leaning on a cane that looked reminiscent of a foil.

That’s not a man who plans to go down without a fight.

As if tied to a string, she felt herself yanked across the dome until she stood before him.

‘Ladybug.’ His grin was wicked. ‘After all this time…you’re mine.’

He’s right. If I can’t fight this, I’ve lost. No one even knows I’m here. There’s no one to save me.

‘Where’s your partner, Cat Noir?’ His voice was casual, as though they were old friends.

He ran away from you. ‘He quit. You know that.’

‘I do indeed. Now tell me something I don’t know.’ He leaned forward, his face too close to hers. ‘Why did he quit?’

She tried to pull away from him, but she couldn’t make her body move. His mental fingers were probing her mind again, digging for what he sought.

Fight him – fight him!

But he was too strong, tugging on her. Somehow, the words were tumbling out of her mouth. ‘There was a conflict of interest.’

‘…what do you mean?’

‘He found out his father was Monarch.’

Monarch drew back sharply. He blinked – then blinked again, his eyes flashing with comprehension while his lips parted in disbelief. ‘You lie,’ he growled.

‘I can’t begin to tell you how much I wish that were so…but you have me under your command. I can only speak the truth.’

His chest was heaving, his skin pale with shock. ‘No. It can’t be. My son – Adrien – is Cat Noir?’

She nodded, helpless against this inquisition.

Luka’s words returned to her.

‘Maybe the man isn’t the ideal father…but he must have some good qualities. Otherwise, how did he raise someone like Adrien?’

‘You’re suggesting that his mother was a perfect angel. Why would someone like that marry Evil Gabriel?’

Maybe this was a turning point. Understanding that his sworn enemy was his son all along…it would make Gabriel re-think things. Maybe he really did have a heart under that costume, and it would win the day. After all…that was why he was doing all of this, wasn’t it? For love?

His skin flushed with anger. ‘You mean all this time, that blasted ring has been right under my very roof? I could’ve taken it and used it to get to you months ago?’

Again, all she could do was nod, the last of her hope dissipating.

He clenched one of his fists like he wished he held Adrien’s throat in it. ‘And to think – I believed we were on the same side! That disgusting little liar!’ He swung his cane and struck the zodiac with an ear-splitting crack that made her jump, even under his control.

Thank god the kwamis weren’t in there to feel his attack.

Because he’s using them all.

I have to help them. I’m their Guardian.

I’ve failed them.

Monarch hunched forward, panting, his arms hanging under the weight of revelation. This was the man she’d once revered as she dreamed of making it in the fashion industry. This was the man she'd hoped to impress one day, not just with her talents but as his son’s girlfriend. This was the man she’d already accepted as her father-in-law.

He huffed out another breath and righted himself, his eyes finding hers, his glare sharp as sewing needles. ‘That traitorous son of mine – I thought he was acting impetuously, from lack of training. I reassured him when he lost those kwamis to you. I praised his ruthlessness when he used two miraculous at once, to attack you. And now I see that he played me for a fool. He was working with you. It was all a ploy to smuggle the miraculous back to you!’

So, he’d worked it out when she hadn’t. He saw what Adrien had tried to do, while she’d assumed he’d intended to hurt her. She fought back the tears threatening to spill. God, when would she be finished crying?

Monarch was pacing the floor in dizzying circles. ‘And now, he’s stolen two of the miraculous and gone on some time crusade.’

Two….

He flew back in her face, his eyes bloodshot with madness. ‘But he can’t stay gone forever. Sooner or later, he will return – perhaps to this very moment – and then….’ He drew back slowly, a sinister smile inching its way across his face. ‘…then I will teach him a lesson.’

Her heart pounded, an image playing in her mind – of Adrien leaping back into the dome right now. Monarch would have them both. He’d use their weaknesses to retrieve their miraculous, and he would win.

But worse than that….

He’ll break Adrien’s heart.

Somehow, her true voice found its way out of her throat. ‘Adrien’s your son. Aren’t you meant to love him unconditionally?’

‘SILENCE!’ Monarch roared so loud that she could feel the words in her chest. ‘You’re not meant to have your own ideas while I’m in your mind!’

He clenched his fist and tugged at the air, and she felt it, like someone squeezing on her brain until it might burst. Maybe this was what Adrien felt every time his father controlled him.

Oh, Adrien. You said there was a block but…I had no idea…. If this was what happened the night he akumatised her…. I forgive you, Adrien. A thousand times, I forgive you.

Monarch pulled so hard that she dropped to the floor before him. ‘I don’t like having to do this to you, you know. I don’t like having to hurt people.’

‘Then w-why do you?’

‘You leave me no choice. I told you and told you to give me the miraculous, but you refused. Even my own son…when he learned what this was for, he still worked with you. He still kept his ring. How am I meant to explain that to his mother when she’s back? How do I tell her he didn’t want her?’

She swallowed down a wave of sickness. Gabriel truly was insane.

‘I don’t know how to get you to see that I’m not the bad guy. Every time you kept the miraculous from me, you left the people you claim to protect open to more attacks. All of it could’ve been prevented if you didn’t have so much pride.’

He leaned down on his knee, his face in hers again. ‘But all of that’s over, now, Ladybug – because this is what we’re going to do. You’re going to give me your miraculous, and I’m going to learn your identity.’

They weren’t just words – they were a command. Not even that – desire filled her. Desire to give him what he wanted.

No - no! Yet even as she fought his puppeteering, her fingers were reaching for her earrings.

‘That’s right, little bug. Keep going.’

She wasn’t strong enough. Maybe she never had been. Pink light washed over her as the earrings came off. Even de-transformed, the akuma held. She held out her hand to him.

He let out a short bark of laughter as he swiped the earrings. ‘Why, you’re nothing more than Adrien’s friend from school! One of countless girls who hoped he might pay you special attention. Pathetic.’ He shook his head with derision.

More fool you, Gabriel. You don’t know love when you see it.

‘Where’s the ring now?’ he demanded. When she didn’t respond, he stamped his foot dangerously close to her fingers. ‘The cat miraculous – where is it?’

‘In the miracle box,’ she answered in a dull voice.

‘Which is…?’

‘In my bedroom. I disguised it as a jewellery box.’

He stood upright, threw his head back and laughed harder. ‘How childish. Imagine – making you Guardian of the miraculous! Look at you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Look how small and pitiful you are, crawling around on the floor like that.’

She dropped her head in agreement, her heart as broken as her mind.

'I could step on you like the bug you’ve been to me all this time. I could make you hurt yourself. I could do anything I want, with you under my control. You’re lucky I’m not depraved.’

Yes. So, so lucky you’re not depraved. What would Emilie think if she could see you now?

But she couldn’t say this – could only watch as he brought the earrings to his ears – as the magic sealed them to his lobes.

Tikki flew out. ‘Marinette, we – ahh!’ She shrieked and leapt away, her eyes wobbling at the sight of her new holder.

He gave her the cold grin of a hungry panther. ‘No more Marinette. You’re mine, now.’

Tikki looked down at Marinette with large, worried eyes, then back at Monarch. ‘You may be able to control me, but you will never master me.’

He put up a hand. ‘Quiet. You don’t get to speak up to me. You’re not even an individual. You’re just an abstract conceptualisation – and you’re my abstract conceptualisation, now. Tikki – spots on.’

With a fearful expression, Tikki was sucked into the earrings. Monarch’s already decadent appearance was now studded with black ladybug spots.

He clenched his fists and laughed in triumph. ‘Finally!’ He reached for the yo-yo that had materialised in his right hand, popping it open and drawing out what he wanted.

Adrien’s ring.

As he turned it over in his hand, his eyes gleamed in the dim light. ‘It’s mine. They’re both mine.’ His voice held a tremor, like he couldn’t believe he’d just got everything he wanted.

In her head, Marinette fought to get control.

If I could just get my arms to work – I could swipe the ring right out of his hand and buy us some time.

But her limbs felt like they belonged to someone else. All she could do was watch as her worst nightmares came true.

He looked down at her again, as if he’d only just remembered she was there. ‘I hope you’re watching closely, Marinette. This is the moment you lost. I hope you remember that clearly and take that memory into the next world, after I annihilate this reality and restore things to the way they should be.’

This was very likely. No matter how many times she was reborn, she couldn’t imagine ever forgetting the feeling in her heart as she watched him touch Adrien's ring to his wedding band finger.

It was the feeling of complete resignation.

Chapter Text

Breathless, Adrien stared at the time screen – and Cat Blanc stared back. He stared back.

When he’d watched Gabriel and Emilie – even other versions of himself – he’d never interacted with them. The scenes had played out like old family films, recordings unaware that they were being watched.

But his alter knew Adrien was watching. Their eyes locked and his face filled the whole of the time window, mouth twitching – a smirking invitation – a dare.

A dare his legs itched to take.

Before he knew what he was doing, Adrien had stepped forward. But as he lifted his foot again, a voice spoke up in his mind, halting him.

You’re only meant to watch. This could change everything – create the paradox that collapses reality.

The hairs on his arms stood on end. If he got this wrong, he was no better than his predecessor, or Gabriel, or Emilie, ending the world as they knew it.

Except…no. Somehow, this was different. This was what was meant to happen. This, this was why he’d come in here. That string tugging was him again, the string of fate. It had even more control over him than his father with that ring.

And his alter knew it. He drew back, grinning – giving him space.

He’d taken leaps of faith before – like the time he’d jumped off the Montparnasse Tower, certain Ladybug would save him. Or when he’d leapt out of the dome and into this burrow. Now, it was time for another.

With a deep breath, Adrien stepped through the time window.

He emerged on the rooftop of the TV tower, overlooking a ruined Paris sunken into the overspilling Seine. It was like the aftermath of the Great Flood. Every building – every person – had been drowned. There wasn’t a soul left in the city except him – and his potential self.

His alter wore a costume was just like Cat Noir’s, but it was white as snow. His hair was white, too, and his eyes were cold and blue, glittering with knowledge no one should possess. The knowledge of someone who’d been alone so long, he’d turned himself inside out and no longer remember what it was like to be human.

Adrien glanced up, at the sky – at the moon. It had been shattered, a chunk missing. Then he glanced at the water again. That wasn’t just the Seine. It was the ocean, the tides dragged in and consuming the world in the throes of gravitational hysteria.

Is this what haunts Marinette’s dreams?

How can it all still be here?

He met his alter’s eyes, prepared to…talk to himself. A sure sign of madness. ‘I thought Marinette erased you from existence.’

Cat Blanc gave a crooked smile. ‘She erased that timeline, yes, but not my existence. I’m always in you, waiting to get out. She can’t protect you forever. I’m your problem to deal with.’ He clearly loved the sound of his own voice.

That’s me. I can’t forget that. He isn’t some external enemy. He’s everything I don’t like about myself.

He dropped on all fours and circled Adrien, catlike, sizing up his prey. His tail waved slowly in the air. A threat…or maybe defence.

Adrien stood in place, refusing to turn and follow the predator, refusing to show fear.

Perhaps frustrated that Adrien wouldn’t play the game, Cat stood upright again and faced him directly, less than a metre away. ‘I expected you.’

Adrien tilted his head in question.

‘I remember being you, once upon a time,’ Cat explained.

‘You mean…you were once in my position? You came here and met…another Cat Blanc?’ This time business was already making Adrien’s head swim.

Cat grinned like he remembered how confusing this was. ‘Something like that.’

‘Does…that mean you’re inevitable? There’s nothing I can do to defeat you?’

‘Defeat me? I remember wondering that, too.’ He laughed and crossed his arms, ending that line of questioning.

Adrien huffed out a sigh. ‘What happened to you? What caused all of…this?’ He swept his hand through the chilly air to indicate the broken city – the people his future self had killed.

Cat’s grin froze. ‘I was given a choice.’

‘Your mother or Ladybug.’

Cat nodded slowly. ‘Tell me – who would you choose?’

‘I’m…not sure I could.’ Understanding came to him. ‘That’s how you were akumatised. You couldn’t decide, and it broke you.’

His alter did indeed look broken, devoid of all the charm Adrien liked to think he injected into his Cat Noir persona. This icy version of himself wasn’t cute or funny. He was dangerous, circling again like a ravenous tiger.

This time Adrien turned with him, his eyes trained on his opponent. He didn’t trust him.

Which means I don’t trust myself.

‘If I don’t decide…will it break me too?’ Adrien asked. ‘That’s what your existence indicates, isn’t it? As much as I want to overcome this...my emotions will get the better of me and I will fall victim to my father.’

Cat’s tail twitched. ‘If you can even call him your father.’

‘Don’t change the subject. Whatever I do…you’re my future. Isn’t that right? I have no way out of this, do I.’

Cat stood again, his expression bored. ‘That’s one outcome, sure. Not to mention that at this very moment – if such a concept really exists – your Ladybug is being akumatised. Monarch has taken her miraculous and will reach into the yo-yo portal to claim yours too. He’ll unify the cat and ladybug, at last, and get his wish.’

Adrien stumbled backwards. ‘Then what am I doing here? I need to get back and help her!’

Cat’s mouth quirked up at one side. ‘Do you? I mean…time’s arbitrary, right? You can always go back and help her when you need to.’ He examined his claws.

He had a point…but it felt wrong. How could he just stay here, knowing that in some reality his father – Gabriel – was hurting Marinette? ‘I’m not even sure why I came through here.’

Cat dropped his hand. ‘Adrien – this is me you’re talking to. If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? You know exactly why you came here.’

Adrien swallowed. He was right again. Of course he was. There was nothing Adrien could hide from him. ‘I needed to see you. To see what’s inside of me. To see how…ugly it is in there…and what I’m capable of.’

‘And what have you decided?’

‘That you’re not as frightening as I thought you’d be.’

Cat smirked again. ‘Oh, really? You think you’ve seen me at my worst? You think you’ve seen yourself at your worst?’

‘W-what do you –’

Cat was drawing back his hands, rounding one over the other, as if he held a ball. Light sparkled between his palms, blossoming into a swirling sphere of energy as blue and white as him. ‘I used to wonder what Marinette dreamt about after she met me. I wonder if it was something like this.’ He grinned – then hurled the energy ball in Adrien’s direction.

Adrien recognised it for what it was – a cataclysm – and leapt sideways before he could be struck, landing hard on the cement rooftop. His hands burned from where he’d caught himself, and his knees felt scraped and bruised.

But there was no time to check himself over. Another cataclysm was already coming his way. Cat turned in a circle, firing at Adrien, who ran the perimeter of the rooftop, sorely missing the stick he had as Cat Noir.

Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t –

He let out a cry as one of his battered legs buckled. Throwing out his arms, he leaned backwards, then stumbled away from the edge of the roof before he could fall into the waiting arms of the water and debris hundreds of metres below.

Cat was edging towards him again, his expression coy and playful. ‘What’s the matter? Why are you still here? Can’t you just leap back through that time portal?’

Adrien squared his shoulders, gritting his teeth.

He’s trying to goad me. I can’t just run away. Like he said, he’s my potential. He’s always in me. Now or later, I have to deal with him.

When Cat heaved another cataclysm his way, Adrien shouted, ‘Voyage!’

Not running – just buying some time while I figure out what to do.

He leapt through the hole he’d cut in space and landed where his imagination took him – on the Eiffel Tower. He didn’t have long.

What was the solution? Cat seemed to think he was ridiculous when he asked about defeating him. So it couldn’t be that...but what?

He jumped at the sound of Cat landing hard behind him. Of course he hadn’t fallen in the water.

A cat always lands on its feet.

‘Is that the best you can do?’ Cat sneered, prowling around him again. ‘Remember, I’ve been you. I already did all of this, once upon a time. I know every move you’ll make.’ He launched another cataclysm, this one shattering a beam right beside Adrien as he dashed to safety.

Is that true? Is there really no way to outmanoeuvre him?

He used Voyage to move up and down the tower, dodging deadly sheets of metal falling into the river. The tower creaked with threatening instability.

‘Why are you doing this?’ Adrien yelled as he ran. ‘I’m you, aren’t I? If you kill me, you’ll never exist! Haven’t you thought of that?’

Cat laughed and hurled the cataclysm again – and in his heart, Adrien knew the answer.

Ladybug said I have a bit of a death wish. Maybe she’s right. And Cat Blanc has none of my better qualities to balance that out.

He wants to kill himself.

Adrien’s heart throbbed with compassion.

And he knew what he had to do – the one thing Cat Blanc must not have done before. The one move he wouldn’t expect.

Adrien skidded to a halt. His blood, so cold with fear, now warmed, his nerves settling with acceptance – faith. This would work. He would be okay.

When he made no move to dodge the next cataclysm, Cat froze in place, his forehead crumpled in confusion. He fell onto all fours, creeping up to Adrien, who remained impassive, despite the ominous sound of metal bending and bolts coming loose.

Let the whole tower come down. I’m – not – moving.

Cat stood up, a metre away, his safety distance, and Adrien looked at him for the first time – really looked at him. His gaze found the pain in Cat’s ice-blue eyes – the heartbreak written in the lines around his eyes – the loneliness in the way he held himself.

‘How long have you been here on your own?’ Adrien asked, his voice soft.

‘I…lost track of time. Weeks. Perhaps months – or years. I couldn’t even guess.’

Adrien thought of all those breakfasts in the empty dining room in the mansion. He tried to picture a life consisting of nothing but an unbroken sequence of those breakfasts, stretching out into eternity. Just imagining it was like being shut in a small room where the walls were closing in, suffocating him.

Tears welled in his eyes. ‘I know what loneliness feels like. And I know how it feels to be controlled…when your mind is not your own.’

Cat narrowed his eyes, perhaps suspecting a trap. ‘I know you do.’

But you don’t know where this is going. I’ve surprised you.

Adrien took a small, firm step forward. ‘But that’s all you are – you’re nothing but my loneliness and sorrow and longing.’

He took another step.

‘You’re the part of me that’s easy to manipulate and dominate. You gave in and let all that darkness take over because you felt unable to make a decision between two contradictory orders. You didn’t know how to listen to your own heart.’

Cat stepped backwards. ‘And you think you’re better?’

Adrien shook his head. ‘But I want to be. I came here because I was unsure who I was.’

‘And what did you find out?’ Cat sounded genuinely curious.

‘That I’m even less certain of who I am than I was when I first entered the time burrow. It’s more than just learning that I’m not my parents’ original son. I’m not even the original copy of their original son. And the world has been remade so many times in the image of people who thought they could play God that I no longer know if anyone is “real”.’ He stepped forward again.

Cat took another step back from him. ‘I remember reaching that conclusion.’ His tone was cautious.

‘I’m sure you do. So you know exactly how I’m feeling – and that as long as I hold onto that feeling, you’re my future.’

‘So…what? You’ve decided to be stronger?’ His voice dripped with irony.

And uncertainty.

Fear.

Adrien shook his head. ‘It’s not about being strong or weak. It’s about finding a balance between the two. You were right – the answer isn’t to defeat you. I don’t think I can ever do that. You’ll always exist within me, in some form. There’s always the potential for you to come out.’

‘So? What’s your grand plan? Can you even think of one, without Ladybug to boss you around and tell you what to do?’

Adrien smiled. ‘You’re right. That’s what I usually do. But not this time.’

Now he stood only a foot from his alter.

‘Cat Blanc,’ he said, bold enough to be heard over the sound of metal beginning to collapse beneath them. ‘I’ve been afraid of you ever since Marinette told me about you. But that’s just because I’ve been afraid of losing control. I’m not afraid anymore.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Really. If I’m a blank slate….’ He glanced at the floor, then laughed and met Cat’s eyes again. ‘That means I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations. I don’t care what my father thinks anymore.’

He paused, savouring that epiphany. ‘I truly don’t care. Gabriel’s not even my father. He’s just the figure in this reality who’s been tasked with raising me. But I’m something beyond just his son, and he’s something beyond being just my father. There’s more to be explored.’

Cat blinked at him. He definitely hadn’t expected this.

Without giving his former opponent time to respond, Adrien leaned in and embraced Cat Blanc, speaking softly over his shoulder. ‘I don’t want to defeat you. I accept you. You’re flawed – but you’re part of me…and that’s okay. I never wanted to be perfect anyway.’

As he held his alter, he felt Cat’s body lose solidity, turning into vapour and merging with Adrien until he stood alone on the remains of a collapsing tower. He gazed around at the landscape of destruction and shook his head, his thoughts clear for the first time.

‘Enough pain.’ He let out a breath and leapt back through the time portal just as the tower came crashing down.

Chapter Text

Marinette was compressed into a ball on the floor of the dome, more under Monarch’s power than ever. As she clutched her fists to her chest, he towered over her, disinterested now that he’d got what he wanted.

I’ve lost in the most complete way possible.

I lost the miraculous.

I lost Adrien.

I lost treasured possessions I took a vow to protect, and then I lost the most sacred of all treasures – true friendship.

She didn’t even want to be de-akumatised. She wanted to sink into her misery forever and never wake up from it. If only she were a weaker person – the kind who forgot everything that happened during akumatisation.

Every muscle in her body ached with guilt.

Please, Monarch – make me relinquish Guardianship.

Yet the thought made her stomach twist into knots of sickness. If she lost all her memories, she wouldn’t remember Cat Noir – wouldn’t remember everything they’d shared together – wouldn’t remember he was a – a –

No. If by some miracle she got out of this mess…she’d never renounce Guardianship. She’d never renounce him…even if it meant carrying this pain for the rest of her days.

She lifted her head. Monarch was holding up the black cat miraculous in the air, examining the ring like a fine jeweller. If it was possible for eyes to salivate, his were doing it.

You’re wrong, Luka. There’s nothing good in this man. Not anymore.

Coloured by dread, everything seemed to move in slow motion. She held her breath as he positioned it at the end of his wedding ring finger. What would Plagg think? Would he be disappointed with her, too?

Monarch began to slide the ring onto his finger – when a flash of blue light made him freeze.

Marinette threw an arm over her face, to shield her eyes – then slowly drew it aside, her mouth falling open as a figure stepped out of a time portal. He wore the black and purple of Kaalki, but with the blue ribbing and rabbit ears of Fluff.

She almost didn’t recognise him. Wherever he’d been and whatever he’d seen had changed him in ways difficult to pin down. It was in his stance, and the defiant way he held up his chin and made hard eye contact with his father – no longer cowed like Adrien, nor showy like Cat Noir, but quietly confident with no need to impress.

Yet deep in his green eyes, there was something constant, something that was still the boy she loved so much that her heart cried at the sight of him.

‘Adrien?’ Monarch whispered.

Adrien vanished before their eyes. A blink later, he was behind his father, swiping the ring from his hand. ‘That’s mine.’ His voice carried a new firmness.

Monarch whirled around, gaping as Adrien vanished again, this time reappearing at Marinette’s side. The way he manipulated Voyage, it was like he could control it with his mind, without having to say the words.

More than that….

He used it more than once – without de-transforming.

Adrenaline made her sit up, watching with large eyes as he slid his miraculous back onto his finger, where it belonged.

Plagg materialised, gaping. Then words tumbled out in excitement. ‘Adrien! You’re back!’

Adrien gave a faint smile, then shook his head. ‘We’ll have our reunion later. Plagg – claws out.’ Even transformed as Cat Noir, there was something different about his costume – and not just because he’d unified multiple miraculous.

Monarch gave him a derisive look. ‘Let’s not play this silly game, Adrien. We both know I’ll win. I know you too well.’

Adrien’s mouth quirked. ‘I don’t think you’ve ever known me. Cataclysm!’ He punched his fist into the air, his hand sizzling with the black mist of his power.

Monarch’s smile wavered – then evened out. ‘What do you expect to do with that? Kill me? We both know you don’t have it in you.’

Adrien smiled too – then slammed his magical hand into his own chest.

‘Adrien!’ Marinette scrambled to her feet, to run to him, but Monarch put out a hand and she tumbled back onto the floor.

And Adrien…didn’t fall. Didn’t so much as sway. He remained on his feet, that same smile on his face.

She hunched on the floor, panting with shock – not just because he was still alive but because she’d just spotted what was different about his costume.

The collar and bell were gone.

Monarch’s eyebrow twitched, maybe seeing it too – processing what it might mean.

Adrien took three great steps forward and stood before him, his stance so strong that he seemed taller than he was. ‘Father.’

‘Son. Your teenage rebellion won’t last long.’ He twisted at another ring - his wedding band. ‘Enough games, Adrien. Give me the ring.’

Adrien didn’t flinch. ‘That won’t work on me anymore, Father. I’ve severed our connection. I’m free.’

Monarch’s eyes widened. Then he smoothed out his features, unreadable – but it was clear what was going through his head. He was wondering what had happened to his son in the time he’d been gone.

She was, too.

Ignoring his father, Adrien knelt before her, reaching out his hand, as he’d done so many times before. ‘Come on, Marinette. Whatever pull he has on you, you can fight it. He can’t be in our heads if we don’t want him to be.’ His voice was soft – a voice she knew. In all the most important ways, he hadn’t changed. He’d just become…more.

He clasped her hand and dragged her up onto her feet. She swayed in his grasp, Monarch’s voice still in her head.

Monarch smirked, his arrogance a fourth presence in the room. ‘It doesn’t matter if I’m not in control of you anymore, Adrien. You’ve lost your Ladybug. I have that power now – and I will get the black cat miraculous too.’

He swung his cane at them – and then they were across the room. Adrien had used Voyage again, taking her with him.

In a heartbeat, Adrien was behind his father again, his hands over his ears – and then the air and the light changed.

Marinette turned in a slow circle. The dome was gone. Adrien had portalled them to their private spot on the rooftop with the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower.

He held out his hand, her earrings resting in his open palm. ‘I believe these are yours, M’lady.’

She stared at them, unable to speak or move.

Adrien stepped closer to her, taking her hands and rubbing the knuckles with his black-gloved fingertips. He looked deep into her eyes, his green and gold burrowing into her blue, until all she could see was him. Then he kissed her. His lips were so soft and warm, drawing her back to the surface of her own mind and body.

With each movement of Adrien’s mouth, Monarch’s voice faded a little more. He kissed her harder, and the voice was a distant memory from some bad dream that was already difficult to place. Adrien wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close, and Monarch’s power fell away completely.

Released, Marinette hugged Adrien back, sinking into the feeling of him simply being there with her. ‘I thought I’d lost you,’ she murmured into his neck.

He ran his claws through her hair. ‘Never.’

She choked down the last week’s emotions. There wasn’t time for that – not yet. There never was.

Thanks to his father.

The memory of being thrown to the floor flashed through her mind, and anger replaced grief. They had a job to do.

Disentangling herself, she took the earrings and put them on her ears.

Tikki flew out and exhaled with relief. ‘Oh, thank goodness! Please don’t ever let me fuse with that man again – the coldness in him was unbearable! I don’t know how Nooroo and Duusu have lasted so long.’

Marinette gave her a sad nod. ‘Agreed. But for now – spots on.’ Transformed, she paused for breath and turned to her partner, now more than Cat Noir. ‘You look…different.’

‘Well. Three miraculous at once. Is that against the rules?’

‘Only because wielding that much power at once usually sends the wearer insane…but you seem to be handling it just fine. In fact…it suits you.’

‘Better than the Purple Emperor, I hope.’ He wrinkled his nose.

‘Definitely better than that. Anyway, I didn’t really mean the costume. I meant you. You look different.’

‘I feel different.’

‘...where’d you go all that time?’

‘Interesting choice of words. Let’s just say I took a trip down memory lane. I looked for answers in my past. And when those answers led to yet more questions…I visited the future.’ His eyes said there was more to the story than he was saying.

She swallowed. ‘You saw Cat Blanc?’

He gave one slow nod. ‘But you don’t have to fear him anymore.’

‘You defeated him?’

He smiled. ‘You can’t defeat yourself.’

‘But he’s not really you.’

His smile widened. ‘Isn’t he?’

She blinked at him. Just what the hell had happened to him?

‘He’s a part of me, Marinette. The small, scared part of me. And he isn’t just in me – everyone has their own Cat Blanc. He didn’t need defeating. He needed comforting.’

‘Comforting….’ She thought back to her own encounter with Cat Blanc. She’d only thought of breaking the akuma and saving the day. What would’ve happened if she’d just given him a hug?

I told him I wanted to help – but was that the truth? Or was I just concerned about getting the job done?

‘Adrien….’ She looked at her feet…then forced herself to meet his eyes again. ‘I’m done trying to have the right ideas all the time. I’d give up Guardianship right now if it didn’t mean I’d forget everything we’ve done together. With all that’s happened…the truth is...I don’t have the answers. I…I don’t know what to do.’ Her voice was small and shaky.

He took her hands again. His eyes sparkled in the blooming moonlight. ‘I don’t expect you to have those answers. You may be the Guardian, but you’re still only human – and that’s one of the things I love about you.’

‘That I’m weak sometimes?’

He laughed. ‘No – that you’re just like me – trying to find your way in this thing we call life. I want to find my way with you.’

Her heart swelled at these words – but she couldn’t accept them just like that. ‘I’m not going to make you choose. Me or your mother – I’ll stand by whatever decision you make. If you choose your mother, I’ll hand you my miraculous right now.’

‘Listen to her, Adrien,’ Monarch’s voice boomed from behind.

Some kind of traumatic response made Ladybug not just jump but vibrate with fear. She clenched Cat’s hands, forcing herself to twist around to face his father.

Monarch fixed his gaze over her shoulder – on his son. ‘She’s giving you an easy way out of this. I know how much you want your mother back – as much as I do.’

Ladybug swallowed. She looked back at Cat. He wasn’t saying anything – because no matter what permission she’d just given him, this couldn’t be easy. Maybe she needed to make the decision for him.

Her hands went to her earrings. If this really was about love, why not let them have their wish? She was done trying to make sense of it – making decisions about what was right and what was wrong.

Adrien’s hand landed on her wrist, stopping her. She looked up at him again.

His eyes were pinned on Monarch. ‘This isn’t what I want – because Emilie Agreste isn’t my mother.’

Marinette’s mouth dropped open.

Monarch blinked at his son. ‘What nonsense are you spouting now?’

‘It’s not nonsense,’ Adrien said. ‘It’s a story I learned while I was away. Would you like to hear it?’

His father’s brow furrowed in frustration. ‘A story?’

‘I think you’ll find it very interesting. I know I did.’ Adrien took a step forward. ‘Once upon a time, Emilie and Gabriel Agreste had a little boy named Julien. He died, and Gabriel used the peacock miraculous to try to revive him. Instead, he ended up with two identical looking boys, Felix and Adrien. Emilie rejected them both.’

Monarch leaned on his cane. ‘So, you’re speaking in the third person, now?’

‘Gabriel was weakened by the creation of those boys, and it left him susceptible to illness. He died prematurely.’

‘Well, this is obviously not true because I’m –’

‘Emilie couldn’t handle losing the rest of her family, so she used the peacock to bring him back. But it sapped her strength and put her in a coma. Adrien felt responsible and obtained the ladybug and cat miraculous to remake the world so that his mother would return – only, this mother would love him as her own.’

Monarch’s mouth had fallen open.

‘The trouble is, when you make a wish, there are consequences. A life for a life, Monarch. Adrien gave up his life to bring back his parents. Emilie was so distraught that she used the peacock to make a new Adrien – but this killed her. Then Gabriel used the ladybug and cat miraculous to wish for a world where Emilie was alive again. He sacrificed himself for her, and back and forth, and back and forth.

‘I don’t even know how many times you and Emilie have got hold of the miraculous and wished for the other to return, not realising you’ll be giving up your life in exchange. I don’t know how many times this world has been remade. I no longer know who of us is real – or what it even means to be real.

‘All I know is that you and I are not the original Adrien and Gabriel Agreste. We’re both sentimonsters, Monarch – or sentibeings, as Felix says. You’re not my father any more than Emilie is my mother. I’m not even the original sentibeing. I’m not an Agreste. I’m simply Adrien.’ He pressed his lips together, making it clear that the story was over.

It seemed like time had stood still – like the earth had stopped rotating and it was just the three of them and Adrien’s tale. Ladybug’s lips were parted in shock, her gaze darting from him to Monarch, to him again.

‘You lie,’ Monarch whispered.

Adrien shrugged. ‘Think what you want. Or I could give you the rabbit so you can see it all unfold for yourself. It doesn’t matter. Either way, I am not joining you. The cycle has been repeating for so long. It needs to stop.’

Monarch swallowed. ‘What are you saying?’

‘That we need to let Emilie Agreste go. This ends now.’

Monarch’s eyes flashed. ‘Never,’ he said in a hoarse voice. ‘I’ll never give up Emilie.’

‘You will. Because if you don’t, this just keeps going on forever. At some point, you need to move on. She isn’t even your wife.’ There was no judgment or compassion in these words, only fact.

‘But I love her.’ Monarch’s voice was strained – pleading – desperate.

Adrien nodded. ‘I believe you. Sentibeing or not, you’re just as real as anyone. Your feelings are sincere. But she’s been dead a long, long time. So has Gabriel Agreste.’ He sighed, his tone softening. ‘You’ve been granted this chance at life. Let’s not perpetuate a battle that didn’t even start with us.’

Monarch blinked – then blinked again, perhaps considering Adrien’s proposal. For a wondrous moment, Ladybug allowed herself to believe he might come around. Maybe they really could win this battle without having to fight.

She was disappointed.

He sneered and shook his head. ‘If you’re not really my son, that means I have no reason to go easy on you, Adrien.’ And like a feral cat, he leapt for them.

Chapter Text

Ladybug braced herself to dodge as Monarch leapt for them – but just before he could grab her, the scene changed. In the blink of an eye, the rooftop was replaced by her bedroom, a portal zipping shut behind her.

She put out her hands as she caught her breath. Cat Noir being able to wield his powers in this new way would take some getting used to. ‘Why here?’

His gaze was soft. ‘We needed somewhere safe – and the safest I feel is with you. That made me think of where you would go to be safe.’

Her lips parted, her insides melting at his words – except, he was wrong. ‘This isn’t a safe place anymore. He knows my identity now. Cat – he could get to my parents.’

‘M’lady –’

‘He could get to all my loved ones. He could hurt every member of our team. Oh my god, I’ve failed, Cat, I’ve failed. I need to renounce my miraculous.’ Her hands went to her ears.

‘M’lady, stop.’ Cat took her hands, bringing them down gently. ‘You haven’t failed.’

‘I have! Cat, I weakened. I let him get to me. I let him –’ The words choked off in her throat, the memories flashing through her mind – of being subjugated, literally brought to her knees, insulted, taunted, leered at….

Every time she blinked, she saw him again, felt the cold floor of the dome under her hands and knees again, felt his mental fingers violating and probing her mind, forcing her to say things she didn’t want to say.

Her eyes throbbed. Her heart throbbed. Her whole body ached with anger and grief and –

‘Hey, hey, hey.’ Cat enveloped her in his arms, pressing her face close to his chest. ‘Come on, just breathe, okay? I’ll count for you.’

Held by him, she forced herself to follow his lead, in for four, out for four, over and over until her heartrate had settled into something resembling normal. It was just like that night after Strike Back. He was always there for her – always.

Adrien – Cat Noir – my best friend.

She nestled in close, squeezing her eyes shut and breathing in his familiar smell.

His claws played with the ends of her hair. ‘Please don’t get down on yourself for what happened. I let him get to me, too, you know. We all feel weak sometimes.’

She stiffened in his arms, Luka’s words rolling through her head again.

‘…it sounds like Adrien’s being badly abused.’

Everything she’d been through in that short time…his father had done that sort of thing to him every day of his life.

‘Oh, Adrien, I’m so sorry.’ She held him still tighter, tears standing in her eyes.

‘For what?’

‘For…doubting you! I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve – should’ve –’

‘Okay, stop.’ He sighed against her, his heartbeat loud and reassuring in her ear. ‘Yes, you should’ve done all that. But at the same time…I’m sorry. Even if my father was controlling me…it doesn’t change what happened. I really hurt you. You had every right to be angry with me.’

She pulled away enough to meet his eyes. ‘No. There’s no excuse for the way I just yelled at you and ran out on you. You needed me and I…I let you down.’

‘You didn’t –’

‘I did. Adrien, I love you – and I know you love me. I should’ve trusted there was some explanation. I should’ve stayed for it. Then maybe I wouldn’t have let myself be….’ Another flashback made her blood run cold, a lump forming in her throat.

‘Marinette….’ He ran a finger down her cheek, a sad smile on his face. ‘Okay, I won’t pretend that was a high point in my life. But think of it this way…if you hadn’t yelled at me, I wouldn’t have made up my mind to speak to Felix. And If I hadn’t made that call in that precise moment, in that exact state of mind…I wouldn’t have learned the truth.’

The truth.

She swallowed. ‘You mean that you’re a…a….’

‘Felix says sentibeing.’

‘R-right.’ God, this was real, this was real. She withdrew her arms and dragged her hands down her face, exhaling. ‘Nathalie told me, you know. Before I…. That was…well, it was why I got akumatised today.’

His lips parted, his eyes drawn with worry. ‘Because you…were upset that I’m one of them?’

‘What? No.’ She shook her head. ‘Because it means we’ve…I’ve…killed. All those other sentim – sentibeings…all the ones I attacked or burned alive in the sun without a second thought…what if they were like you, somehow? I mean, no wonder Felix –’ She touched her hand to her breast, trying to catch her breath. Already, the panic was rising again.

‘Marinette….’ He hugged her again. ‘Shhh…if you’ve hurt them, so have I. I didn’t know either. We’re in this together – like we’re in everything else together. You and me against the world, remember?’

She hugged him back – hard. ‘I remember.’

He drew back, holding her eyes. ‘Listen – we are not going to let Monarch hurt our loved ones.’ His voice was thick with something new – with authority.

She swallowed. ‘Y-you’re right. We’re going to fight him, once and for all. And to do that – the kwamis need recharging. Spots off.’

Adrien followed her lead and de-transformed, releasing Kaalki, Fluff and Plagg at once.

Kaalki crossed her arms, her haughty chin in the air. ‘Finally, we’re out of that dreadful dome.’

‘All thanks to the best Cat Noir in the world!’ Plagg exclaimed.

Adrien blushed.

Fluff flew into his face. ‘I, for one, never doubted you for a minute.’

Adrien arched an eyebrow. ‘Seriously? Not even for a minute?’

‘Of course not. I don’t even understand what a minute is.’

Adrien dropped his head and laughed. It was so good to hear that sound again.

Plagg turned to Marinette. ‘Onto more important matters…I believe you were going to do something about food?’

She gave him a small smile. ‘I’ll be right back.’

Downstairs, she hugged the wall, silently sidestepping the living room where her parents were watching TV and sneaking into the bakery. As far as they knew, she was at Alya’s this evening – a cover story in case things went horribly wrong at the Agreste mansion.

Which they did.

She fought down another flashback, focusing on her mission. The memories might never leave her...but that was something to worry about later...later....

The smells from the bakery made her stomach rumble. She hadn’t had any dinner and she was starving, so she dug through some of the leftover pastries, throwing them in a large box. With the box tucked under her arm, she crab-walked out of the bakery, scuttling up the stairs and back to her room.

When she didn’t see Adrien immediately, she called out his name – quietly, so she didn’t alert her parents. The last thing she needed was her father realising she had a boy in her room after dark.

‘Up here,’ he called back softly. His voice came from her loft bed. Her father really wouldn’t like that.

She dumped her treasure of croissants and pains au chocolat – and a special cheesy twist for Plagg – on her desk. ‘Okay, kwamis – come and eat!’

The remaining kwamis flew out of the miracle box.

Wayzz hovered before her. ‘You’ve returned, just as we knew you would.’

‘I’m glad one of us believed I’d make it out of that mansion.’

He gave a sad shake of the head. ‘Marinette Dupain-Cheng, on behalf of all the kwamis, may I take this opportunity to tell you that you are an incredible Guardian – a true force to be reckoned with. No matter how difficult things get, or how lost you feel, you will get through this – especially with your partner by your side.’

Marinette blinked at him. ‘Uh…thanks?’ Where had that come from?

Wayzz gave one firm nod, eyes shining with emotion, then looked at the pastries. ‘…are those for us?’

‘They are indeed.’

‘Mm. An incredible Guardian….’ He joined the others, who’d already swarmed the food.

Tikki, Plagg, Pollen, Kaalki, Fluff, Trixx, Daizzi, Roaar and Wayzz. Pride bloomed in her chest as she watched them eat. Against all odds, they’d managed to retrieve so many of them.

And most of that was thanks to Adrien being so impulsive.

His methods were a little rough but…they got results.

She grabbed a few pastries from the pile, then climbed up to her bed and sat beside him. ‘Here. I thought maybe you could do with some food too. You were gone, what, a week?’

He took a croissant, examining it as if he’d forgotten such things existed. ‘Technically, I was outside time. Metabolism is definitely a thing there but…I don’t think I was in there as long as it seemed for you. I never felt hungry.’

‘Oh. Right. Well, I can take that back.’ She reached for the croissant.

Grinning, he swiped it out of her grasp. ‘I’m not outside time anymore.’ He stuffed the pastry in his mouth, finishing it in less than a minute, then grabbed another. His gaze kept returning to the photo board she kept above her bed.

She finished her own croissant, then nudged him with her shoulder. ‘What’s on your mind?’

‘…I was just thinking that I haven’t really been in here since we started dating. The one time I saw this photo board, you tried to keep me from looking at it.’

She smiled, remembering. ‘It got a live television debut, and you came over as Cat Noir. How many more embarrassing moments do you think you could dig up?’

He smiled too. ‘They’re not just photos of me, though. They’re photos of all your friends – of our friends. A lot of it is memories I share, too. I’ve really built a life for myself, in the last year, haven’t I.’ There was some other meaning behind this musing. Something else he was trying to work out.

She remembered the grimoire on his bed – the tearstained passage on the section about the peacock miraculous. ‘Were you…were you worried maybe you’re not….’

‘Not real?’ He turned to her, seizing her heart with his brilliant eyes. ‘It crossed my mind. But if I’m not real, then how do I have all these relationships? If your friendships aren’t an indication that you have real emotions, then what is?’

She took his hand and pressed it with affection. ‘You’re definitely real, Adrien. When Nathalie told me the truth…I didn’t want to believe it. But that’s not because it makes you any less real. It’s just….’ She sighed and withdrew her hand. ‘Like I said, it calls into question every decision I’ve ever made about another sentimonster. Sorry…sentibeing. See? I can’t even get the word right.’

 ‘You and me both. But I’m not sure just how sentient all of them have been. The grimoire doesn’t touch on any of this.’

‘As usual, we’re left to figure things out for ourselves.’ The thought was bitter in her mouth.

Adrien shrugged. ‘But I guess that’s life. In a way, it’s reassuring to know you’re just as uncertain as I am. Again, it validates my existence, now that I know I’m Pinocchio.’

Her brow lifted – then she laughed. It was such a relief to have his humour back.

His expression grew serious. ‘Are you sure this doesn’t change things?’

‘…what would it change?’

He swallowed. ‘I don’t know. Are you sure you don’t…see me differently…now that you know I’m…one of them.’

‘Adrien – now you stop. Okay? Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you. You’re you – and that’s all I want.’

The smile stretched slowly across his face. ‘Okay.’

‘Right. Now that we’ve got that out of the way – the kwamis must be recharged now. We need to get back out there.’

‘So we’re…not running away to a tropical island together?’

‘Not quite yet, kitty.’ She patted his cheek, then climbed down the ladder, with him following.

The kwamis all looked significantly stronger than they had a few minutes ago. They looked ready for action.

And so am I.

Her leadership instincts kicked back in. ‘Adrien – keep Kaalki, but I want you to take Wayzz and Pollen to their holders. That’s Nino and Zoe.’

‘Ooh, I bet Chloe would hate to know that.’

‘I’ll take Rooar to Juleka.’

He laughed. ‘Loving the irony.’

‘And Daizzi to Rose.’

‘Of course!’

‘…and I’ll take Trixx.’

Adrien’s eyes widened. ‘Why not Alya?’

She shook her head. ‘She made an incredible Rena Rouge – but it threatened our friendship. It was brave of her to give Trixx up, and I don’t want to go back there. Like you said – it’s time to move forward.’

Adrien gave her a tight hug. ‘I love you.’

She hugged him back, smiling into his shoulder. ‘I love you too. I never stopped for a moment – no matter what happened.’

‘Even when you wanted to kill me?’

‘Even then.’ She drew back and let out a breath. ‘Adrien…are you sure you want to do this?’

‘What, go up against Darth Vader? I’m sure.’

‘Yeah, but, joke’s aside…even if he’s some copy of a copy of a….’ She put up her hands. ‘I’m gonna be honest – I was a little confused when you told that story. The point is…he still raised you, Adrien. In every way that matters…he is your father. If you want to stay out of this, just say the word.’

The other kwamis were staring at him, too. Maybe remembering what had happened in the dome – moments that were no doubt flashing through his mind just like the flashbacks hitting her.

His mouth quirked with conflicting emotions. ‘I hear what you’re saying, but…he needs to be stopped. And I took an oath. I’m going to help you no matter what.’ He didn’t waver over a single syllable.

She released a heavy sigh. ‘Well…alright then. I guess we…go fight Gabriel Agreste.’

He nodded, his eyes hard. ‘We fight Gabriel Agreste – for the last time.’

Chapter Text

Ladybug stood with Cat Noir on the roof of the bakery, surveying the city they’d been chosen to protect. The sun was gone, replaced by a full moon, milk white against violet-black.

Light in darkness – secrets coming to the surface.

Even at that hour, people would be sprinkled across the major sites, talking and laughing, while others lounged indoors, winding down for the night. There was no indication of what was about to take place.

Cat let out a breath. ‘I can’t see any signs that Monarch has attacked.’ He spoke of their opponent just as he always had – as a villain they had to fight, rather than his own father.

‘He must be working out where we are. My own home is probably the last place he’d imagine we’d go. But he’ll figure it out soon enough.’

‘Then we have to go to him first.’

She eyed him sideways. Cat Noir was perhaps no longer an adequate name, now that he’d unified his miraculous with the miraculous of the horse again. But it was the name she would forever think of as him. ‘You’re right. We need to initiate the fight. If we strike first, we can limit the damage to one location and protect the city. You gather the others, and I’ll meet you on the Eiffel Tower.’

Cat gave a firm nod and a portal appeared.

She shook her head. ‘I can’t get over the way you don’t have to say the magic words. And you don’t need to recharge after using your power. It’s like it comes from you, not the miraculous.’

He stared at his clawed hands. ‘I hadn’t even thought of that.’

She tapped her temple. ‘Hmm. We can use that.’

‘Use?’

She nodded, an idea formulating in her mind. ‘I’ll run through the plan when we’re all together. But this time, you’re our most important player.’

His mouth quirked at one side. Then he gave a deep bow, blew her a kiss, and stepped through the portal, vanishing before her eyes.

Alone, she took a deep breath for courage. ‘Okay. Here we go.’

Gathering Juleka and Rose was easy enough. Ladybug had no choice but to hand them their miraculous while they were together, but they didn’t appear surprised at each other’s transformation. Either they’d already told each other, or their love had allowed them to see through the costumes.

Why did it take me so long?

She led them to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, largely empty at that time of night. Cat was already there, with his own half of their army – Carapace and Vesperia.

Carapace kept glancing around, probably checking for Rena Rouge. He wasn’t good at masking his disappointment. ‘Cat Noir told us this is the big one. Going head-to-head with Monarch himself.’

Ladybug nodded. ‘That’s right.’

‘Do you think he’ll have his own army?’ Vesperia asked.

‘Anything’s possible. And he has the other half of the miraculous, so we cannot underestimate him.’

Cat locked eyes with her. ‘But we have something he doesn’t have – each other.’

Her cheeks warmed.

Pigella sighed. ‘That’s so sweet!’

‘So, what’s the plan?’ asked Purple Tigress.

‘Right.’ Ladybug stood at the centre of her team and addressed each of them in turn. ‘Purple Tigress, we need you to strike him with Clout. When we get him good and dizzy, Vesperia, you sting him. Then Pigella, do your thing. If his attacks get too dangerous, Carapace, use Shelter to protect us. We need Monarch disabled, so we can retrieve all his miraculous – including the butterfly.’

Too conscious that she was plotting the downfall of Adrien’s father, she glanced at Cat, trying to read his expression for any signs of discomfort.

‘What part do I play in this, M’lady?’ As if he didn't know the whole story revolved around him.

It was a question he’d asked so many times before – and too many of those times, she’d told him he wasn’t needed. But he was very much needed now. ‘Cat, you’re the only one of us who can use your power multiple times without needing to recharge. Anytime you see one of us in danger – or if one of us has to recharge – I need you to use Voyage to take us somewhere safe, then bring us back to the battle zone when we’re ready.’

‘Affirmative. And you?’

‘I’ll try to keep him occupied with illusions – and there’s my lucky charm as back-up.’ She shot him a private look. We’re definitely going to need that back-up. Then she clapped her hands together. ‘Alright. Now – we get his attention. Cat, you like showing off.’

He cocked his head, eyes sparkling and mouth in a smirk. Then he crouched down and launched himself up into the air, climbing the tower like a true cat hurtling up a fence.

Ladybug and the rest of their team arched back to see, watching him scamper onto the very top platform of the tower.

He leaned over the railing and began yelling into the night air. ‘Yoo-hoooooooo! Mooooonarch! We’re over heeeeeere!’ Then he reared back and shouted, ‘Cataclysm!’ and slammed his hand into the tower spire. It sparked and set alight, a blazing fire against the indigo sky.

Ladybug’s heart was in her mouth.

Is he going to take down the whole tower?

A breath later, she realised he had total control over his power. His focus was impeccable. Only the spire was damaged, quickly hardening into molten lumps of metal.

Ladybug hurled her yo-yo around one of the tower legs. She grabbed Pigella, who grabbed Purple Tigress, and they flew out of harm’s way as pieces of the obliterated spire plummeted to the ground.

The remaining tourists on the tower screamed, their footsteps pounding as they made their harried exit.

She craned her head back to look up at Cat, then shook her head. I guess that’s one way to do it.

He was already racing back down the tower, with Monarch right behind. Cat landed hard on the second floor and slid backwards across the steel, stopping himself with his hand. Then he straightened and stood in front of the team, poised for attack.

Monarch landed a few metres away. He glittered with miraculous – on his wrists, on his clothes, on his face and head. In his arrogance, they were all on show, just waiting to be taken.

He doesn’t believe we can do it.

…and that’s how we’ll get them.

He folded his hands on top of his cane. ‘Do you honestly believe you can defeat me? You forget I know who some of you are. In fact….’ He looked beyond Cat, at their assembled friends. ‘I even know who Ladybug and Cat Noir are.’

In her periphery, the team exchanged uncertain glances.

‘That’s right. And they're nothing special. They’re just children, like all of you. If you knew their identities, you wouldn’t trust them with your lives. You’d be afraid. You should all be afraid.’ His eyes narrowed at them, predatorial, closing in on prey.

Cat leaned on his stick and arched one of his eyebrows in mockery. ‘Is that the best you have? We know who you are too. If Paris knew the truth, no one would fear you anymore. You’re nothing but a coward who hides behind others who do your dirty work for you.’ The humour had left him, and his smirk suddenly looked cold and dangerous.

Monarch tilted his head, studying his son, perhaps finally understanding that he’d never really known him. ‘There’s no one else with me now.’

Ladybug caught the sly twitch of Cat’s ears.

He was goading him – manipulating him into remaining solo.

Solo or not, Monarch had lasted this long without being caught, and it was clear that he wouldn’t go down without a fight tonight.

As if in slow motion, he lifted his fist, bringing it down with enough strength to make the team bounce a foot into the air. A long, thick crack spidered through the metal of the platform they stood on.

The ox. He’s using the ox – strength. We can counter that. ‘Purple Tigress - you’re up! Cat – you know what to do! Everyone else – with me!’

She dashed around the platform, with Carapace, Pigella and Vesperia close behind. At a safer distance, they watched their two cats in action.

Monarch slammed his fist into the tower repeatedly, shaking the structure with the force of an earthquake. There was the unquestionable rattle and pop of bolts and screws being violently dislodged. The floor tilted, making the team slide away, catching themselves on any posts they could grab.

We can’t stay here long.

At least Cat’s fireworks display had cleared the place of tourists.

With a scream so loud that Ladybug felt it vibrate in her chest, Purple Tigress threw all her energy at Monarch, making the air throb. Ladybug squeezed her eyes shut to protect them from the pressure of the blow.

It should’ve knocked him off his feet – even right off the crumbling tower. But when Ladybug opened her eyes again, Monarch stood behind Purple Tigress, unscathed. It was if he’d teleported.

But that's impossible. Even with the rooster, he can't emulate a power already in existence. Super speed, maybe?

When he raised his fist again, Ladybug yelled, ‘Cat – Tigress – everyone, let’s go!’

Their two cats whirled around, stunned at the sight of Monarch – then vanished.

Voyage.

Ladybug readied herself to throw her yo-yo and swing the others to safety, when Cat was back at her side.

‘Your turn,’ he said, grabbing her.

The team formed another chain, teleporting away to the rooftop of one of the taller buildings overlooking the square. They watched as the tower tumbled down, landing in a cloud of dust and smoke.

All the people below….

Cat squeezed her hand, maybe thinking the same thoughts.

Tigress had already de-transformed into Juleka – in front of the whole team.

Ladybug was past caring. ‘Good work, Juleka.’ She reached into her yo-yo, pulled out a macaron and threw it to Roaar, who was drooping with exhaustion from the energy that had been expended. Then she turned to Cat Noir. ‘You did well, too. But he’ll find us again. Now that we’ve brought the fight, we need to get those miraculous off him. Your next part comes into play.’

‘Already on it.’ He saluted her before disappearing in the blink of an eye.

And not a moment too soon – because a dark streak crossed the full moon. In another breath, Monarch had landed on their rooftop.

His mouth curved at the sight of Juleka. ‘So, that’s all you have? You throw one measly energy burst at me and your silly Cat hides her to recharge?’

That was exactly it, but Ladybug refused to let him get to her. It was the best plan they had when the odds were so stacked against them.

And we’re doing better than he expected.

She had to trust that Cat really had understood her meaning. He needed to take Monarch by surprise, appearing behind him and snatching at least one of those miraculous off him. The question was – when?

Time for me to go into action.

Monarch slammed his fist into the rooftop and the concrete shivered.

Ladybug leapt away, with the others following, darting behind an electrical box. She withdrew the fox miraculous from her yo-yo, put it on and whispered, ‘Tikki – Trixx – unify!’

Orange light enveloped her, and she felt her costume change – fox ears and a tail blossoming. A flute materialised in her hands. Not wasting a second, she brought it to her lips, playing a soft melody. ‘Mirage!’

Copies of the team – including Cat Noir – ran out from behind the box, dashing across the rooftop.

That should distract him enough to help Cat do his thing.

Behind the box, she controlled the illusions just enough to keep them from touching Monarch – or the spell would be broken. Although her false Cat teased with his stick, almost begging for a fencing match with Monarch’s cane, she pulled him out of the way before weapons could make contact.

Then the real Cat was there. He materialised silently – but Monarch whirled around and reached for him, his hand readied to catch his own son by the throat.

It’s like he sensed him.

No…he whirled around just a second before Cat appeared…as if he knew he’d be there.

Monarch punched at Cat and Tigress. Before he could make contact, Carapace yelled, ‘Shelter!’

As soon as the green turtle shell enveloped them, Cat portalled them away. Carapace vanished through a portal too, whisked away to some secret location where he and Tigress could recharge.

Monarch charged at the illusory team, snarling and waving his cane through them. When they’d all vanished, he turned in a slow circle on the rooftop, scanning for the real team.

‘Trixx, let’s rest,’ Ladybug whispered, and she popped the fox pendant back in her yo-yo. Better to keep Monarch thinking there was another member of the team somewhere outside the group he could see.

Illusions within illusions.

‘You think you can fool me, Ladybug?’ Monarch roared. ‘I can play tricks too, you know!’ He threw out his hands and sparks flew from his fingertips.

Her eyes blinked furiously in self-defence.

When the fireworks cleared, a cloud of birds flew from his hands, covering the moon, as large as it was, and blackening the sky. They dove towards the team, and Ladybug threw up her arms to protect herself. But like her own illusions, the birds vanished on impact.

Monarch was now impossible to locate. In his place, the roof was teeming with bouncing balls and hopping rabbits and even an enormous clown giggling its way over.

The monkey.

Ladybug turned to her team crouched behind her. ‘He’s trying to confuse us with chaos. Don’t get lost in it. Stay focused.’

She leapt out from their hiding spot, launching herself directly at the illusions – beginning with one of the clowns. Adrien hates clowns. She hit one square on its red nose, watching with relish as it burst into nothingness.