Chapter Text
It had been an awful day.
Xie Lian wasn't a stranger to them, those days that felt like the hours stretched into eternity only so that the universe could pack in more moments of panic and discomfort. This was hardly the worst day he had ever had. Things had most certainly been worse before, but it was the worst he had had in a long time. In a way he had almost forgotten what it felt like, being hot, exhausted, and hungry to this extent. His body had almost forgotten the empty ache of being pushed past his limit mentally and physically. It really had been so long.
After their marriage, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's life had seemed to take on a sort of easy simplicity. They awoke each morning in each other's arms and Xie Lian felt the quiet bliss that most couples only reach in the final years of life. Somehow, the pair had found that domesticity that comes after decades of loving one another in a shockingly short period. Their bodies and lives weaved around each other as if in a perpetual unspoken dance that was as easy as breathing for Xie Lian.
Though, he supposed they had had plenty of time to learn given how many years they spent running towards each other. It made sense, the way they so easily intertwined when finally given the chance.
Their days were usually spent accompanying another on various tasks. Whether tending to Puqi Shrine, a crisis in The Ghost City, or an urgent request from the Heavens, they found ways to do most things together. Xie Lian had once wondered, in his youth and naivety, how one didn't get sick of their partner spending every waking moment with them. The idea of choosing one person to share his life with forever had seemed a daunting task on the rare occasions it was on his mind at all.
Time, as it does with most things, changed that. Time, but also Hua Cheng. Any doubt he might have had in his younger years had been chased away so profoundly by one man. One man who he knew he could never grow tired of. Not his smile, not his laugh, not his hands, not his sharp tongue. Xie Lian could never bore of all of the small seemingly effortless ways he reminded the God of his love every day. Xie Lian realized, that even their most frivolous of conversations, the ones that they would most likely repeat hundreds of times more, still felt engaging and important when the one he was having them with was Hua Cheng.
Wholly and completely, he was loved. Wholly and completely, he loved in return.
Xie Lian supposed it was this easy pattern that made him forget how unpleasant a day could be. A truly terrible day was inevitable, Xie Lian thought, even with his husband's brilliant luck.
It had started out normal, waking into easy silence, cradled in a pair of strong arms, the slight floral and smokey sent the ghost king carried flush in Xie Lian's mind. He had sighed contently and buried his face deeper in the other man's chest before opening his mouth to wish him a good morning.
His greeting was cut off, however, by frantic shouting in his communication array.
Before he knew it, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were rushing out of Puqi shrine and towards whatever danger lie again in the Banyue desert at Ling Wen's request.
Of course, Hua Cheng had put on a show of annoyance at the heavenly officials for ruining their morning, but neither of them had been particularly perturbed.
There had been groups of cultivators going missing in the area, according to Ling Wen. Concerning, but hardly enough for such an urgent rescue. That is, until some of lower ranking Gods sent to check on the manner had suddenly called desperately for help in the communication array, only to be unresponsive when any of the other officials tried to ask their exact location. Given the amount of powerful individuals who had seemingly vanished without a trace, it was cause for concern.
The couple had been confident they could swiftly resolve the issue, however.
This proved to be false, as the investigation alone took the better part of three days. Three days out in the heat, which San Lang had difficulties with in the best of times. Because of their rush, the two had been uncharacteristically unprepared, and found themselves without adequate supplies early on.
Once they finally identified the cause of the disappearances (a particularly nasty spirit wielding an unusually strong cursed object) they had been in Banyue for nearly five days. By the time they were able to mend the situation, they were thoroughly exhausted and desperate to go home.
Everything that could have gone wrong seemed to. From minor inconveniences like getting lost inside a frustratingly simple maze array for a few hours, to the horrifying moment when Ruoye almost tore anew while fighting to free the cultivators.
In honest, the whole ordeal had left Xie Lian quite rattled. By the time the two were finally able to collapse into the soft bed of Paradise Manor, both felt too exhausted to say much of anything to each other. Perhaps his exhaustion was why Xie Lian had failed to notice anything off about his husband.
Or, at least, that was the only thing Xie Lian could think of. Something must have of been wrong last night, because something was certainly wrong now.
Instead of the usual somehow-warm embrace he awoke to, Xie Lian stirred to find himself cold and alone on his side of the bed.
Curled into himself, and deathly still, was his husband on the far corner of the mattress
"San Lang?" Xie Lian called softly, sleep still clinging to voice.
He couldn't see the other man's face, his back was to him adding to the strangeness. All he could see Hua Cheng's inky black hair spooling around him. His normally impossibly broad shoulders seemed smaller, more fragile, caving in on themselves.
"San Lang? Are you alright?" He questioned again after receiving no response.
He was no stranger to his love's insecurities or how randomly they arose. There were days, though fewer now, where Hua Cheng seemed to inexplicably crumple. He would become less sure, obtaining a timidness he almost never showed. He would apologize so often, and look at Xie Lian with a reverence that made his heart break. Like he suddenly remembered that the other was far too good for him, and that this life they had built was beyond reach for his mangled hands. Xie Lian hated those days, and did all he could to try and bring back the cheeky arrogance that suited his husband best. To assure him of his worth, of his irreplaceable spot in Xie Lian's heart. He hated those days, but also understood they were as much a part of his San Lang as any other. He knew that while he could give Hua Cheng the love he deserved, he might not always allow himself to take all of it.
Xie Lian knew those days, knew all of the signs, but this seemed… different.
He stared intently at the other man's back in a heavy silence waiting for a response.
Without warning, Hua Cheng sat up stiffly and moved even further to the edge of the bed.
Were his shoulders trembling?
At last he spoke, but his words did little to comfort Xie Lian's growing worry.
"I apologize, Dianxia." His voice was low and unsure.
Xie Lian's face twisted slightly, there were times when that title on his husband's lips felt as fine as priceless silk, this was not one of them.
"What for? Dear, what's the matter?" He shifted slightly closer, wanting desperately to touch the other man, but afraid of spooking him.
He seemed too light. Barely there, about to blow away and fall apart right before Xie Lian's eyes.
"This lowly one apologizes, I… I don't know how I got here. But, I- whatever I have done it was never my intention to take advantage of Dianxia's kindness!" His words began to tumble out in panic towards the end.
Whatever restraint he had earlier was swiftly broken, without thinking the God reached out to pull his husband into his arms.
Maybe it was the wrong move, because the instant Xie Lian's arms encircled his waist the other man immediately stiffened. Nonetheless, he held Hua Cheng with the same firmness that he always did. Solid and comforting. Hua Cheng had once told him how much he liked it- how stable and there Xie Lian felt when he held him like this. He could only hope the same was true now.
"It's alright, deep breath." Soothed Xie Lian. Though, he couldn’t be sure if he was speaking only to his panicking beloved.
Despite his obvious stress, the other man seemed to at least attempt to listen. Xie Lian sighed. With his chest pressed against the other's back, he almost expected to feel an erratic heartbeat. He wondered if Hua Cheng could feel his.
"You're ok. You're safe."
"I… I'm sorry."
Xie Lian loosened his hold to push back some of his husband's silky black hair from his neck. He hoped it would be somewhat calming, but he didn't miss the slight shiver it sent through him instead.
"Hey, look at me." Almost obediently, Hua Cheng shifted in the embrace to face him. "You haven't done anything wrong. Although, I'm a bit concerned. You don't remember how you got here?"
Now fully seeing his face, Xie Lian began to suspect what might have happened. Instead of his husband's usual form donning a black eye patch or identical deep maple irises, he stared back at Xie Lian with a mismatched pair: One black and one red. Xie Lian knew Hua Cheng would do what he could to avoid appearing like this. Something was definitely wrong.
"I do not, Dianxia. I wish I did. If I have inconvenienced you in any way it was not my intention." Anxiety laced his words. Unlike his usual layer of unreadability, this Hua Cheng's face contorted in obvious fear.
"You haven't inconvenienced me at all, San Lang," He paused. "Although, should I call you that? What do you go by?"
If the situation was anything like the one Xie Lian feared, he supposed his husband might be confused by that name.
Hua Cheng pulled a face like the question almost burned him. However, he recovered quickly and tried to find a neutral collected appearance.
"Do you not remember either, your highness?"
"Remember wh-"
Before Xie Lian could answer he was cut off by the other man.
"Not that I expect you to waste your time remembering all of your servants! I did not mean to insinuate that I was important enough to be remembered that easily, Dianxia." His eyes were wide and voice shaky.
That didn't sit right with Xie Lian, regardless of the state of Hua Cheng's memory.
"No, no. Don't say that. Of course I remember you. You're my most devoted follower. I know you. I'd know you anywhere.
Hua Cheng's eyes widened. Was there a glassly sheen to them? His lip quivered slightly. An action so small, Xie Lian might not have noticed if he wasn't so on edge.
He hoped it wasn't true, but at this point he needed confirmation so he could figure out how to proceed.
"Wu Ming?" Xie Lian questioned softly.
"Yes, Dianxia?"
Xie Lian drew in a shaky breath of his own. The man in front of him, the one he adored as much as feared, seemed to be aware of the turmoil his response immediately set off.
Hua Cheng, no, Wu Ming surged forward somewhat desperately to try and comfort his God. He wasn't exactly sure what to do, nor had he seemed to notice just how close the two were, yet. Xie Lian's hands had migrated to loosely press along his back, fingers holding him gently in place.
If Wu Ming had his wits about him, he certainly would never allow himself the honor of touching his God like this. But Xie Lian looked as if he were about to cry, and he knew he had to do something.
"Dianxia… why… tell me what to do. Whatever it is that's upsetting you, I'll stop it." Wu Ming feared the culprit was him.
This seemed to snap Xie Lian out of his stupor. He looked at the other man, near inches away from his face, and gave his best attempt at a reassuring smile.
"I'm fine, Wu Ming. Thank you for worrying, though."
Hearing thanks from his God's lips over something so simple did a number to Wu Ming's already jumbled thoughts.
Taizi Dianxia, Xie Lian, his one and only God, was here. Holding him like he was more than just the tool of vengeance he knew himself to be. Dianxia was here and he seemed… frightened… but safe. Nothing like the hallowed empty version of his God Wu Ming had been traveling with only yesterday. The one who had stomped on his flower and snapped at him for space.
He did not blame him, he never could. He understood the pain his God was in, and he only hoped to ease it even a little. If harsh words and revenge against the people who had scarred him so completely were the way to do that, Wu Ming was honored to be a part of it.
This Dianxia, though… there was a light back in his eyes that Wu Ming saw even through his uncertainty. He no longer wore that foreboding two faced mask, his warm deep eyes open and unguarded in their concern.
Concern for him? Wu Ming wouldn't dare assume that, but the thought filled his chest with an unruly warmth. Of course, that warmth was quickly chased by guilt.
But how had he gotten here?
Was this some sort of sick fantasy his mind had conjured up? He hardly ever dreamed anymore, not since his death. When he did it was usually in violent flashes of pain. His, Hong-er's, Dianxia's. So much pain and fear he could hardly tell whose it was most times. This wasn't that, though. But what other explanation was there?
Lost in thought, Wu Ming failed to notice Xie Lian's sudden wave of calmness.
He was still scared. Though he and Hua Cheng had talked at length about the time in their lives when they knew each other as a fallen prince and a nameless soldier, Xie Lian could never quite shed himself of the guilt he felt for being so cruel to the other man. Hua Cheng assured him he did not mind, and that he had always understood that Xie Lian's anger was not all he was. Still, the thought of how his love's heart must have bruised after every attempt to reach out was met only with venom twisted the once prince's guts unendingly.
He was still scared, scared to face himself, scared to face the man he had let down and hurt more than anyone.
He was scared, but he knew this was something. Something he could fix. Something he could do for Wu Ming, a chance to comfort him. A chance to love him, and give him the kindness he always deserved but a younger Xie Lian could not have offered.
Xie Lian moved a feather-light hand to cup the side of the ghost's face.
Wu Ming's churning mind suddenly stopped at the contact. All coherent thought immediately lost.
Dianxia, his God, was holding his face so gently he could almost melt. What was this? What had he done to deserve this? How he prayed it wasn't a dream.
Xie Lian smiled at him, one he knew his husband adored (Hua Cheng had only told him a million times what his husband's smiles did to him).
If Wu Ming still had blood to flow, he knew a deep flush would be coloring his face.
"Wu Ming," Started Xie Lian, "I know you're probably very confused right now. That's alright. I need to explain some things to you. It may be a bit overwhelming. Do you trust me?"
As if he even had to ask.
"Of course, Dianxia. Of course."