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There weren’t many things Ryuji Sakamoto could say he hated.
Sure, he had things he disliked. He had things that pissed him off. But hated? He could count the number on one hand. Corrupted adults. That effin’ brainwash status effect.
And rain.
God, he hated rain.
Sure, it pitter-pattered on his window all pretty like and helped him focus a little more, but that definitely wasn’t worth the pain that stabbed into his leg with the pressure change. He’d always thought old people were being figurative when they said they could feel a storm coming in their bones. Turned out he was more wrong than he ever could’ve thought. Every approach of heavy weather had him limping days beforehand.
This morning, he’d hardly been able to get out of bed. His leg didn’t ache so much as it burned , like a hot spike was being shoved into the marrow. He was seconds away from skipping, but he knew his ma wouldn’t be too happy, so he sucked it up and slid from the sheets. She was working all day anyways, and he’d be able to hide the call they’d send home…and yet, he still couldn’t do it. He hated lying to her.
He’d met Akira by the train station. He was looking up at the gloomy clouds with that thoughtful, contemplative gaze of his, and Ryuji couldn’t resist offering up a grin. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”
Akira snapped back to reality, returning a sheepish grin. “Oh, nothing. Just thinking.” Akira was always thinking about something. Unlike Ryuji, who only ever thought if it was absolutely necessary.
Ryuji minutely shifted to one side, biting back the grimace from the sharp pain that accompanied the motion. Akira’s grey eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. “Are you alright, Ryuji?”
“Yeah! Yeah, I’m cool!” Ryuji said, a little too quickly. “Just…my leg acts up when the weather’s bad. No big deal.” He cringed at the pitying look that flashed over Joker’s face.
“Do you need any help?” The offer was casual. It wouldn’t be the first time Ryuji had been forced to lean against the other for support due to his damn leg. It wasn’t like it was unpleasant or nothing, he actually somewhat enjoyed being so close to someone. Especially Aki. But what he didn’t like was admitting that, Yes, He Needed Help. Instead, he physically waved off the request.
“Nah. I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” He’d just find a pole on the subway to lean against instead.
The rest of the day didn’t go much better. The sharp, burning flame within his bones made it harder to focus than usual, not helped by his lack of sleep the night before. Math equations were the last thing in his reeling, jagged mind. He spent most of the time staring at the raindrops trickling down the window next to his desk. Maybe it was stupid to flip off little droplets of water, but it made him feel a little better.
Ann was concerned too, but quickly accepted Morgana’s slightly scathing remark that Ryuji had probably just been up too long playing video games. Ryuji didn’t correct him.
The day squeezed every hint of energy from his body and didn’t leave him a single volt in him. By the end of the school day, all he felt like doing was falling asleep. Still had homework to do, though. Not done yet.
At least it wasn’t pouring anymore. He wouldn’t get totally soaked when he walked. He’d forgotten his umbrella, so it was a stroke of luck.
“Do you need help getting home?” Joker asked him on the subway platform.
Ryuji had been leaning heavily against a wall, keeping as much weight as possible off his right. Guess he was more obvious than he thought. “Dude. I’m fine. I promise.” He added a laugh at the end to dampen the obvious desperation in his tone.
“Message me if you need anything, alright?” He nudged him, tenderly. “Anything at all.”
“Fine, fine! Jeez, man, you’re more like my mom than my best friend sometimes!” Ryuji complained, but couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He really didn’t deserve someone like Aki.
He made it home with no further incident to find a hot pink sticky note sitting on the counter, scrawled in blue ballpoint.
Hiya, Sunshine!
Sorry I’m not here to see you - I’m working late tonight, unfortunately. I promise to make it up to you over the weekend.
I left you some leftover stir fry in a Tupperware, it’s in the fridge! And take your meds, too.
I love you so, so much, baby.
— Mama
Even though he was disappointed at the note’s contents, it still made a smile tug at his lips. Ma’s notes were always a highlight of his day.
After quickly heating up and inhaling some two day old stir fry and popping a few (he couldn’t remember exactly how many) pain meds, Ryuji shuffled into his room to do some homework. It went smoothly for a few minutes. But only a few, because someone up there apparently hated him.
BANG!
He gasped. His pencil lead snapped on his paper.
Ryuji was reminded of the second reason he did not like rain.
Storms were the worst. Maybe it was stupid of him to be scared of them, he was an effin’ elec user, for God sake, but damn, were they terrifying. Ryuji did not like loud sounds. Ryuji did not like them one bit.
The next crash of thunder reminded him of a vase they’d used to have, one that shattered after his father had pushed it off the mantle.
He could smell alcohol. He tasted blood in his mouth. Shouting echoed in his mind, and screaming, and his hands were shaking too bad to cover his ears from the next crash.
And then right on cue…as if Ryuji didn’t need a THIRD reason to hate days like these, the lights, without as much as a warning,
snapped off.
Fuck.
The room was pitch black. He wasn’t sure if would be better or worse to open a window, because SOME light would get in, but so would the flashes of lightning.
At some point, his textbook had fallen to the ground. He hadn’t heard the crash. He slowly picked it up and put it back on his bed. He wasn’t sure why. Not like his room wasn’t a mess already. It just felt like the right thing to do, like he needed to physically deal with the literal falling apart of his surroundings before he could deal with the mental portion.
He sucked in a deep breath, hissing it out through his teeth when another invasive growl of thunder cut into his room.
He was not okay being alone right now.
The realization was harder than he thought it would be.
Joker’s previous offer replayed in his brain. Ryuji guessed he did need something. So he hid himself beneath his comforter and turned on his phone.
skull⚡️☠️ 9:40
hey
i know it’s late
how r u
The response came immediately, right beneath the username Ryuji had carefully created for Aki in their chat. He’d insisted they’d matched, so he picked out all the perfect emojis and begged Akira to use it.
joker♥️🃏 9:40
i’m good, how are you? nice to hear from you, i was worried earlier ❤️
Ryuji had to backspace on the “im fine” he first typed out. He tried again.
skull⚡️☠️ 9:41
uh
this is kinda awkward but
i feel weird bein alone rn
do you wanna call
or someth
It took a moment for Akira to respond. All the while, Ryuji’s heart pounded incessantly in his chest.
skull⚡️☠️ 9:45
i mean u don’t gotta if u don’t wanna i just thought
joker♥️🃏 9:45
is it cool if i come over?
That wasn’t what Ryuji was expecting.
skull⚡️☠️ 9:46
wh
shit
i mean yea
sure
kfsjfdkd.
that would be nice.
joker♥️🃏 9:46
that’s good bc i’m already on the train
He then attached an image of the top of a fluffy head of dark hair in front of the wall of a subway.
skull⚡️☠️ 9:46
WHAT
DUDE
WHAT
DJSDJFDKDKWK
AHAHAJ YOU DIDNT HAFTA
SAJSA
joker♥️🃏 9:48
i’ll be there in 10 minutes. try to relax, ok? eat some food if you haven’t. drink some water. do you have any medication you haven’t taken yet?
Ryuji laughed in disbelief at his screen, running a hand through his hair. God, how did he deserve someone like Aki?
skull⚡️☠️ 9:49
already done
shit man
He typed out an “ily”. Then quickly backspaced. Then typed it again. His face burned, and he quickly switched the message to instead read a far more platonic “ur the best”.
Akira ended up getting there in only 7 minutes. His hair was soaked, his bangs plastered against his forehead, making him look unusually dishevelled. He gave Ryuji a mock debonair smirk. “Hey.”
Ryuji giggled, softly. “Hey yourself.” His voice was a little hoarse, and Akira quickly took note of it, brow furrowing in concern.
“Rough night?”
Ryuji wiped weakly at the dried tears on his cheeks, managing another weak laugh. “No shit.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t like the rain.”
Akira’s fingers twitched at his sides. “I’m…sorry to hear that.” A beat. “I was really worried about you at school earlier, you know. You looked so tired and miserable.”
“That’s cuz’ I was.” Ryuji deadpanned, the corner of his lips rising. “Glad to hear it, though…” Glad to hear you care about me. It was hard to believe, even now.
They stared at each other for a moment, giving Ryuji time to really take in Akira’s expression. The way he was fidgeting with his hands, the ever present furrow in his brow. The bags under his eyes. He really was worried for him, and a pang of guilt stabbed Ryuji in the gut.
He was about to apologize for dragging Akira out all this way, until the other held out his arms. “Can I hug you?” His voice was not the cool, commanding voice of Joker. It was shaky and uncertain and…and scared. It was the voice of Akira, the grey-eyed boy who lived too much in his own head and liked to hide behind a pair of reflective lenses, who never used a hairbrush once in his life and who had a weakness for kittens.
It was not the voice of his leader. It was the voice of the boy he’d went out for ramen with, or to the park. The voice that had given him advice more times than he could count.
It was the voice of the boy he had fallen in love with.
Ryuji quickly closed the distance between them, squeezing Akira’s frame tightly against his own. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he laughed, trying and failing to blink them back. The emotions were so large and real that they wanted to burst through his chest. “Ugh. Shit. I love you.”
He felt Akira’s body tense, and he was about to draw back, worried he did something wrong, before the other returned the embrace. His touch was gentle, like he worried Ryuji would crack if he squeezed too hard. “…I love you too.”
The rumbling of thunder outside had softened while they were standing there, moving onto some other place. The tightness in Ryuji’s chest was starting to fade too. His skin tingled warmly where Akira’s touched his.
“Could ya…” Ryuji cleared his throat, trying to get the tearful lump out of it. “Could ya stay here for the night? I’m worried I won’t be able to get to sleep otherwise.” His leg was still aching real bad, even after he’d thrown back those pills, and it was far too dark and empty in here. He was aware of a dripping noise where the rain was leaking in and plinking onto their hardwood floor.
Akira hadn’t let go, instead lightly encircling Ryuji’s waist in his arms. “I’d be happy to.” He said softly, his voice dark and gentle in contrast to Ryuji’s loud and bright one.
There were still rainy days after that, still days that old scars ached so much he could barely move. But somehow, despite all odds, having someone to dance with in the rain…it helped make it all a little better.