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Ochako was giddily smiling to herself as she sat down at her desk, although her mouth was pressed closed in an attempt at hiding her obvious glee. Her classmates stood and chattered around her, but Ochako was isolated in her own little bubble of radiant happiness that was all her own. It was valentine’s day, and Ochako had found a pink envelope in her shoe locker just that morning, just for her.
She could still feel the outline of the letter in her cardigan pocket, and Ochako pulled it out again just to check it over, just to make sure that it was real. Her nimble fingers pulled the envelope flap open and slid the card out that had been filling her thoughts since she first read it that morning.
Meet me under the cherry tree after school, there’s something I need to tell you.
- your secret admirer <3
Her round cheeks heated up again as she read the pink-penned words over and over and over again. Ochako had a secret admirer, and she couldn’t be happier. She imagined all of the dates and all of the time they would spend together, just her and the person who liked her.
As she was stuck daydreaming, she heard her friends make plans for a valentine’s friendship dinner over her head. They didn’t even bother to ask if Ochako wanted to go, and it- well, it stung. They were her friends, of course they were! It’s just- they never hung out after school together. That was partially Ochako’s own fault, she almost always declined any plans because she just didn’t have the money most of the time. It didn’t stop the hurt that she felt when her friend group all planned to go out on walks or bike rides or to the park without her, but now, Ochako would have someone who would make the effort to be with her.
Maybe this was her one chance to finally have someone who would take her out on dates and talk to her and hang out with her because they genuinely liked her. It was all Ochako had ever wanted, so she hoped and prayed and wished as her daily classes blurred together. After every bell Ochako would glance at the clock as it ticked closer and closer to the end of the day. Everything was going at a snail’s pace, and as her last period started wrapping up, Ochako was practically bouncing out of her seat.
The final bell finally sounded, and Ochako shot up and started walking down the halls as fast as she dared to. She was glad that she wasn’t on cleaning duty today, that really would have soiled her plans.
Ochako toed her school shoes off and quickly ran to her shoe locker to change into her normal worn sneakers. Her messenger bag bounced against her side as she jogged down to the cherry tree where she would get a confession. Ochako pulled the letter out again, just staring at the pretty pink color of the envelope.
She had been daydreaming about who it could be all day, and she knew not to get her hopes up, but that didn’t stop her heart from beating faster anytime someone came close to walking her way. Her heart jumped and leaped but no one walked over.
As the crowd started thinning out as the last stragglers made their way off of school grounds, Ochako’s stomach was dropping. Her chest started to get tight with all of the negative emotions that she had been suppressing all day, but it was fine. It was! It was fine, it was fine that no one even bothered to show up and it was fine that someone got her hopes up just to crush them underfoot, it was fine that Ochako was left alone and neglected like she always always was.
It was fine, so why was she crying? Her chest started hiccuping against her will, and Ochako pressed the hand not holding her letter onto her mouth to muffle any sound that wanted to come out. The tight feeling didn’t go away, it just got tighter and tighter and tighter until it was strangling her, Ochako couldn’t breathe , everything just hurt so much . If she had prepared for rejection then maybe it could’ve been alright, but Ochako had dared to hope, just this once, that someone wanted her. The message read sincere, the pretty penmanship tricking her into thinking that she would finally get the happy highschool romance that she promised herself, the one that she’s been dreaming of for so long . Her hands scrunched up against her will as she dropped her head.
Tears were starting to pour onto her hand, but she refused to remove it from her mouth. If she moved at all then she would fall apart, and Ochako couldn’t risk that. She just couldn’t, so she stayed standing in place as her chest constricted and her eyes poured tears and the only evidence that something was wrong from far away was the hand clamped tightly over her mouth.
She waited and waited and waited as the world tunneled and the only thing she could think about was the giant hole of hurt that was consuming her whole. There were no happy thoughts to drown out everything that told her that she was nothing. Ochako let it eat her alive, because what else was there for her to do? This had all just proven the thoughts right, she didn’t deserve anything and no one actually cared for or about her.
So caught up in her own misery, Ochako didn’t notice as a figure started walking towards her. She didn’t notice as the figure moved behind her, she didn’t notice when they reached out their hand, so when they touched her shoulder, Ochako went rigid.
She whipped around, her ponytail hitting the side of her head and her hands unclenching as she looked at who had interrupted her suffering. Ochako hadn’t realized how shallow her breathing had been until her hand was off her face, and she took a deep and deliberate breath to calm herself down. The pressure behind her eyes lessened with each deep breath, but her face was still sticky with salty tear tracks and her eyes were all puffy and red.
The other girl was wearing the same uniform, but Ochako had never seen her around before. She had messy blonde hair that was half pulled up into buns, and her eyes were almost catlike with piercing green irises.
Ochako saw her mouth moving, but the static in her head still hadn’t dissipated.
“Sorry, can you repeat that?” Ochako asked, wiping her eyes quickly to at least pretend to be presentable.
“I said, are you okay? I saw you just standing here while I was cleaning, so I decided to come check if you were okay once I was done,” the other girl said, her tongue messing with small plastic fangs as she talked. She rolled the little pieces of plastic off her tooth and then back on and then off once again. The blonde’s hands were also wringing together, and she was rocking back and forth from her toes to her heels, toes to heels, toes to heels. Ochako got the impression that she was always gesturing, always moving, always needing to be in active motion.
“I’m okay!” Ochako said, managing to get out a forced laugh. “It’s just- I got a letter in my locker from a secret admirer to meet here, and then they didn’t show up and I couldn’t move because it hurt so much,” Ochako explained, and as she did, she could feel tears building in the back of her eyes again. “It doesn’t even matter to me, and I don’t know why I’m telling a stranger all of this, but I was so upset anyways,” Ochako finished with a stray tear escaping against her will.
Ochako watched as the other girl’s brow furrowed, and only got a second's notice before the unexpected weight of the girl jumping onto Ochako sent them both tumbling to the ground.
One second they were on the grass, and in the next second, Ochako was clutched tightly in a strong hug.
It was the final straw, and Ochako broke down in the other’s arms. Her eyes were already irritated, but there were still more tears coming. Normally, Ochako would be worried about getting grass stains on her uniform since she only had one, but all she could think about was how warm and safe she felt in the strange girl’s arms.
She choked and cried, taking big gasping breaths and letting out louder sobs. Her chest stuttered and loosened with each tear shed, the blonde girl whispering sweet nothings and rubbing her back softly. It took longer than the first time for Ochako to calm down, but once the tears lessened and slowed, Ochako felt lighter than when she had started crying.
As if reacting to her earlier mood, it had started to rain. The perfect cloudless day was ruined as droplets fell into her hair, onto her cardigan, and all over the shiny grass.
Ochako pulled herself out of the other girl’s arms, and wiped her eyes in a sad attempt to cover up the evidence of what had happened, even though there was no one around to pretend for.
“I’m sorry for crying all over you,” Ochako said after an awkward silence.
The other girl opened her mouth and then closed it again, as if deliberating what she was impulsively going to say, before shooting up to her feet and brushing herself off.
“It’s alright! I’m Toga, Toga Himiko,” she said with a fake-fanged grin, before reaching her hand out. The rain was falling harder, getting caught in the branches above and falling onto the girls in discordant splashes.
Ochako grasped the outreached hand to pull herself up just as a pool of water collecting in a leaf above them tipped over and soaked them both.
Toga started giggling, and soon Ochako joined her with gasping laughs. The brown haired girl doubled over, her smile stretching her face until it hurt. Ochako laughed until her lungs hurt, and until the remnants of the tightness and awfulness from earlier left her system entirely. Their laughs pittered off until they were just standing face to face, staring directly at each other. Ochako noticed that she was slightly taller than Toga, and she also noticed that there was a bandaid peeking out of the collar of Toga’s uniform that was starting to peel off.
Before she could stop to think about it,Ochako reached forward and pulled the wet bandaid off, putting it into her pocket and then grabbing a fresh one from the same place. She could feel her own face heating up as Toga stood there dumbstruck, but Ochako didn’t let that stop her from finishing her impromptu mission.
She quickly checked the small scrap over by pulling the collar of Toga’s uniform down a little more, before nodding in satisfaction. She peeled her pink bandaid from its packaging, and carefully stuck it over the old wound.
“Um, I have to go now, seeyoutomrrowbye!” Ochako squeaked out before sprinting
towards the exit gates, hands over her red face. As she started her walk home, she realized that she never found out what class Toga was from. No matter though, they went to the same school. Ochako would find her again, no matter what.