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Dating as an idol was a difficult affair, to say the least. You had to be sure no one caught on, if you’d dare risk a relationship at all. With how careful you had to be, most idols didn’t even bother dating, but for those who did, it was hard to go on an actual public date.
“Rei-kun, Rei-kun, do you wanna go out for drinks tonight?” Kaoru asked, his smile bright as always as he approached the man in question.
Rei stared at him with a confused look for a few seconds, expecting his unspoken questions to be answered before realizing he’d have to speak them. “You’re underage still, though? And what happened to not wanting to be seen on a date to risk your career?”
“About that…” Kaoru laughed nervously, messing with the hair at the back of his neck. “If we go to my family’s live house my brother won’t mind if I drink, and it’s not like my parent is gonna be there, anyways.”
“If you insist, but that doesn’t answer my other question - why are you asking me out on a date?” Rei asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Well, who would suspect two male idols dating? We could go out under the guise of two friends hanging out and nothing deeper than that.” Kaoru hummed. “Plus, I like getting to spend time with you, and just hanging out around Ensemble Square is pretty restricting, isn’t it?”
“Hmm… A date would be nice, I agree. Only if you’re sure that nothing bad will happen.” Rei said, and Kaoru felt giddy like a child. They didn’t get to go out much, Rei preferring to be active at night and Kaoru afraid of the power getting caught on a date held over the future of their careers.
It was early in the day when Kaoru asked, so that gave both of them time to prepare. Kaoru couldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t nervous, but it was just his family’s live house, it’s not like it was that out of the ordinary for two idols to be hanging out there as they watched amateurs perform.
It wasn’t like he could be as romantic as he’d like to, picking up Rei from his house with a bouquet of flowers like some cheesy first real date should be, so picking him up empty-handed from his dorm as it turned to evening would have to suffice.
“Hello, Kaoru-kun, fancy meeting you here.” Rei chuckled as he pulled open the door, usual casual attire feeling all the more intimate as Kaoru knew Rei would be just for his eyes tonight — with the exception of anyone who happened to stare at the beauty while they were out, but he’d elected to ignore that part of it. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Rei’s weird roleplay of not knowing why Kaoru was there may be odd to anyone else, but the blonde was used to his antics by now. They were partners, after all. “Oh? I thought we could just go out for drinks, spend some time together like friends?”
“Oho, who would I be to decline? You do look ravishing tonight, this old vampire might just eat you up if you’re not careful.” Rei hummed, and Kaoru couldn’t help the blush that started to form at that. What if his roommates heard? That would be embarrassing!
“Are you ready to go, then? Or do you want me to come back later?” Kaoru asked nervously, a little desperate for a change of topic so he could at least pretend to be cool and collected.
It was totally lame to be a blushing mess before your date even started, y’know? However, it was hard for him not to be when he was around Rei like this, all alone with the beautiful boy’s weird vampire flirting; he got flustered way too easily, something he used to pride himself on not doing. Everything was just different when it came to Rei, wasn’t it?
“I’m ready,” Rei said with a slow nod, turning away to grab his jacket before returning to Kaoru. In the moment he was away from the door, Kaoru could see Aira and Eichi inside of the dorm, and he tried his best to repress a groan at the fact.
As much as he loved Rei, it was still hard for him to come to terms with being publicly affectionate with another man. Disregarding the threat to his career if the public found out about their relationship, he was so used to pushing all other boys away and claiming they were gross that it was hard to adapt to being in a relationship where even people close to them could witness him being affectionate with another man. He wouldn’t ever say that to Rei, though. He loved him, and he didn’t need to push any concerns about their relationship into his head.
(Rei could be bad when his anxieties about everything got to him, Kaoru didn’t want to make him feel bad.)
But when Rei came back into view with a small smile on his face as he reached for Kaoru’s hand, his thoughts disappeared. He closed the door behind them and looked at Kaoru with a soft look, “Let’s get going then, shall we?”
It’s not like they could hold hands the whole way to the live house, but being able to have that small bit of freedom around Ensemble Square was better than nothing. They’d have to just stand plainly side by side as they took the train there, appearing as two friends hanging out together and nothing more. No hands interlocked, no pressing against each other until there was no space left between them — just friends on a train.
“Did you get a new cologne?” Rei asked as they entered the elevator on their way out of the dorms.
“Hm? Oh, Yuta-kun sprayed me with one of his when I told him I’d be going out with you, he said I should smell nice for the date.” Kaoru laughed, recalling the memory of the boy’s insistence on making sure Kaoru was as presentable as possible.
“I see. Well, I do enjoy your normal cologne, but indeed you do smell nice tonight.” Rei nodded, and Kaoru found it funny how this was probably the only person who could comment on his smell without him finding it weird.
If it was small talk with anyone else, he’d definitely find the person odd for talking about his smell, but he was used to Rei’s oddities. They’d started to become a comfort, even. The contrast between Rei and everyone else was part of the reason why he found himself so intrigued by the other man, as well as everything else, such as how much Rei cared for him even when Kaoru was so eager to push every male he encountered far, far away.
The way to the live house was familiar for both of them, Kaoru having worked there during high school and having Rei perform often. But that day they got to go there to relax, to take a break from being an idol for one night.
“Go find a seat, I’ll come find you, yeah?” Kaoru said, voice raised to talk over the band that was performing. Rei nodded, walking away and only then did Kaoru notice that they’d been walking with his hand on the small of Rei’s back, his palm suddenly feeling emptied without the warmth of the other boy in his grasp, without the fabric of his jacket pressed against his skin.
Kaoru walked up to the bar, smiling at his brother who was behind it. “Good evening, onii-chan.”
“Good evening!” His brother laughed cheerily, greeting Kaoru with a smile and a wave. “What do you want?”
“’What do you want?’ So rude!” Kaoru mocked jokingly, pausing to think for a moment. It wasn’t every day you got to go out drinking underage, so while he knew the live house and the bar’s stock intimately, it was hard to come up with something on the spot — and Kaoru didn’t particularly enjoy alcohol thanks to the association with his father, either. “Rei-kun will probably just get some red wine, just give me something alcoholic?”
“Oho? Trusting me a little much here aren’t we?” His brother joked as he turned away to prepare the drinks.
“You’re old enough to know more about alcohol than I do.” Kaoru shrugged, hoping his brother wouldn’t bring up the fact that Kaoru used to work there and definitely should’ve known more than he claimed to.
“If you insist.” His brother said, finishing up with the drinks and placing them in front of Kaoru. “Careful not to spill them, okay?”
“I know, I know…” Kaoru groaned, grabbing the glasses and turning around to locate where his partner had wandered off to.
He found the man sitting alone at a tall table near the edge of the live house, discreet and as far away from all of the action as he possibly could be. Surprisingly, Rei was messing around with something on his phone, perhaps attempting to message someone or playing some game that one of their juniors had introduced him to, but when he noticed Kaoru approaching, his attention on the device was lost
“Oh? My dear Kaoru-kun knows what a vampire's tastes are.” Rei said, hand on his cheek to feign surprise.
“It seemed fitting.” Kaoru laughed as he placed the drinks down, watching as Rei took a careful sip of the crimson liquid. No matter what he was doing, he was always a picture of perfection in Kaoru’s eyes, and he was determined to cherish every moment he could witness of the other.
His attention was pulled away from Rei as whoever was playing stopped, leaving them with only the white noise of chatter as the band bid the audience goodbye.
Kaoru looked around, noticing some other younger group that was preparing to go on stage. Quickly, they noticed him as well. One of the kids’ eyes widened and he nudged one of the other unit members, gesturing at where the two of them sat, and Kaoru could only smile despite how much he was dying inside. He really would’ve appreciated being able to hide in the background for one night.
When you were with an idol such as Sakuma Rei, there was no hiding in the background, apparently. Kaoru enjoyed the popularity of UNDEAD, their unit was getting more and more attention now that they’re half graduated from Yumenosaki, but being an idol was draining sometimes. He was happy where he was, but was it too much to ask to be able to go out for a peaceful night out with his boyfriend?
“Oh, it seems we’ve caught the attention of some children.” Rei said blankly, taking a sip of his drink and waving at said group of children.
Kaoru groaned, “Yeah, I noticed.”
“Hm? Do you not enjoy being seen? You are a popular idol, after all.” Rei asked, raising a brow at the blonde. They were both popular idols, yeah, but it wasn’t always enjoyable.
“Well, that’s all thanks to you, I guess. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a night out normally, just the two of us? Being noticed just means we have to be even more careful about what we do.” Kaoru shrugged, finally taking a large sip of his own drink and wincing at the foul taste. Maybe going out for drinks wasn’t the best idea, but he knew Rei would thrive in the atmosphere of the night. Next time he’d just suggest they go for karaoke, or something…
“Who said anything about being careful?” Rei laughed, narrowing his eyes at Kaoru before continuing. “They can already see you’re drinking despite being underage, why not make it a little more dramatic?”
“Just what are you suggesting, Rei-kun…” Kaoru sighed, lifting his bitter drink back up for another sip. His boyfriend's antics would definitely be getting them in trouble at the agency this time, that was for sure. Well, it’s not like the underage drinking part wasn’t Kaoru’s own idea in the first place.
“Kiss me, won’t you dear? They’re already going to be spreading gossip that they saw us here. If they’re on stage, they can’t take a picture of us, either; they just have to share their claim that they saw two male idols kissing and watch as no one believes them.” Rei explained his plan, gesturing at how the group was starting their set and wouldn’t be able to share anything.
Rei was right, but Kaoru was still nervous. Gossip didn’t mean no one would believe them, especially if anyone else at the live house decided to back them up. It could be career ruining, life ruining!
“You just want an excuse for me to kiss you, don’t you?” Kaoru sighed, no heat behind his words despite how he made them sound. “It would be too risky; I’ll kiss you plenty in private, though.”
Kaoru reached over to grab Rei’s hand that wasn’t wrapped around his glass, bringing it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss against the chilled skin. He felt Rei’s pulse stutter under his fingertips, a careful reminder that this vampire across from him was all too human before he let the hand go.
“My, my, Kaoru-kun~ is this how you charmed all those girls in high school? Consider me successfully wooed.” Rei chuckled. He peered at the blonde from over his glass, hand falling to the table with a dull clinking noise of his rings against the wood. It was hard to hear over the music — quite horrible music, actually — but it was so easy to hyper focus on Rei, on just Rei and nothing else around them.
Maybe that’s just what love did, Kaoru couldn’t be sure.
“I don’t like the music, actually. Sorry for bringing you here to see some amateurs.” Kaoru said and took another long drink instead of addressing his growing blush. Maybe if he tried hard enough he could pretend it was from the alcohol.
“Oh, I quite like it. Reminiscent of our high school days, no? Myself and other ‘amateurs’, as you’ve dubbed them, coming here to perform and blow out the eardrums of whatever poor soul happened to show up for a drink.” Rei said, turning to look at the group on stage fondly. The kids had stopped looking at them, focusing instead on their performance and on pleasing the crowd instead of the two people sitting on the outskirts of the room. They could’ve kissed, then. All eyes were off them.
“I like to think you were better than them - I let you perform for a reason, and I do have taste, thanks.” Kaoru laughed, staring at how Rei’s rings glistened in the bright lights to distract himself from the idea of kissing Rei. “Maybe the industry is just starting to push out more and more untalented kids.”
“Oh no, no. Stop right there before Tenshouin hears whatever you’re going on about; I was just talented from a young age, or did you forget?” Rei huffed, noticing Kaoru’s eyes on his hand and directing it to his face by directing his glass to his lips.
A trick, or perhaps he was just that desperate to be the centre of the other man’s attention. Whatever it was, it worked, and Kaoru’s eyes met gleaming red, almost glowing in the night like he was a real vampire.
(Maybe it wasn’t a trick at all, and Kaoru was just desperate.)
“You’re good at everything, I know.” Kaoru whispered honestly during a lull between songs, no obnoxiously horrible music he needed to scream to be heard over but embarrassed at how now there was no way he could pretend he didn’t say those words.
“Hm..? Is there a reason you’re praising me so suddenly? Kaoru-kun is quite the talented one, too, you know. Well, even if it’s not with music… You’re so good at dealing with people, I envy you, fufu~” Rei said with a laugh, his own light blush forming brightly on such pale cheeks, enhancing his features even more in the club lighting.
He reached up and twirled a piece of hair coyly, and as much as Kaoru knew his ‘blushing maiden’ act was all just that, an act, it was hard not to fall victim to it when the perpetrator was that pretty.
“Thank you.” Kaoru said after a moment when the music started back up. They didn’t even check to see if the kids were looking back at them after the first song, but they probably were. Young stars expecting praise from their seniors for something that wasn’t all that good in the first place, but how could he blame them — every idol was there at some point.
(Everyone but Rei, maybe.)
Kaoru turned to the stage, glad to see them engaged in their second song and paying no attention to the pair of them as he got up. Rei looked confused, hand dropping from his hair to his lap as he watched Kaoru take the few careful steps closer to himself.
Inhale, exhale… They were in public. People could see them, but no one would see them. They were in a public live house that Kaoru’s family owned, sitting on the outskirts just having some drinks together like friends did. Friends, where they were close enough for Kaoru to brush his hands against Rei’s cheeks, to draw him in closer and tangle his hands in messy dark locks.
To place their lips against one another and taste the sweet yet bitter wine that Rei had been nursing. Sweet nectar dripping from the fruit of Rei’s lips, sucked into Kaoru’s greedy mouth as he pushed their lips together fiercely, praying that no one would see them.
A fang ripped a thin line against Kaoru’s bottom lip, breaking apart the skin for a treat of Rei’s own choosing. As much as he claimed to hate the taste of blood, it was addicting when drawn fresh from someone you loved.
As much as Kaoru wanted to pretend, there was nothing platonic about the way they were pressed together, lips moving together and hands roaming over their clothes. Maybe the people around them could pretend for him, at least. Pretend they weren’t seeing anything; pretend the pair wasn't even there.
Kaoru was the first to pull back to breathe, leaning his forehead against Rei’s own with sweat-slicked skin from the heat — part of it from being in a hot room with people performing, and the other from the heat drifting between the two of them.
(He caught sight of his brother looking over at them from the corner of his eye and tried his best to swallow down the bile that threatened to rise up his throat at being seen like this with a guy.
He loved Rei, he truly did, but old habits were hard to break.)
“What happened to not kissing in public?” Rei hummed teasingly, voice a pleasant whisper for Kaoru’s ears only. As much as Kaoru has been glancing around them, all too aware of their surroundings out of his own fears, Rei’s eyes hadn’t left his face for even a second.
(It was hard to keep them off of Kaoru ever, really.)
“Maybe exceptions can be made…” Kaoru mumbled, finally pulling away but feeling like his skin was made of glue. Or maybe Rei’s was — is that why his touch was always so addicting? Whenever they touched, it was damn near impossible to pull away, to pull his hands from Rei’s skin and remind himself that they are two separate entities.
He wished sometimes for a way to become one, for a way to become truly inseparable from Rei and to always be with each other in a way that wouldn’t get them stared at in public. For Rei’s skin to become his own, for perfect unity.
…It seemed the alcohol was just having some weird effects on him. Yeah, that was it. He didn’t usually have those kinds of thoughts, after all. Weird human philosophy was more Rei’s thing than his.
“I like being the exception.” Rei grinned, fangs on full display. A moment later, they were gone, and he was softly wrapping his arms around Kaoru’s shoulders and entrancing the blonde once more with his inability to pull away when it came to Rei. “Thank you for tonight; it was quite nice getting to feel normal for once.”
While Kaoru’s thoughts about Rei were certainly not normal, he knew what the other man meant. “I liked it, too.”
And he meant it, honestly. Rei was his partner, his other half, how could he not enjoy getting to spend time together? As long as it meant pushing down the fears that wanted to swallow him whole, there was nothing holding him back.
(As little as they sounded, it felt like a boulder holding him back from his own true wants.)
He pressed his lips to Rei’s once more, mind no longer on the possibility of them getting caught, but on enjoying their night out like two normal people would.