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Nights were normally this silent. Calm. Cold and dark blue.
Leorio, used to late shifts at the office by now, layed half awake, waiting for his head to stop spinning as he lay in bed.
Most of the time, he watched the back of Kurapika's neck as he slept. Watching his movements. Only there subtly, but present.
Even in his half asleep state, he could tell when Kurapika was having a nightmare now. It was blatantly obvious. This was one of those nights.
His aura usually felt softer, tranquil and smooth. Now, it felt agitated and quivery. As did he.
His arms tensed and his neck strained and moved up.
Leorio hated seeing him like this. It ached and tore at him.
There wasn't much he could do but curl closer and be as calm and warm as he could. That was the burden he felt the need to carry, regardless if Kurapika was furious with him for it, or not.
Sometimes the nightmares were seemingly more violent, more upsetting.
This was one of those nights, a night where he had to watch Kurapika shake and toss around in bed.
It was around 2-3 am when this occurred normally. When dreams started, or reached their peak.
He had to get used to the pain of seeing him like this.
He huggled even closer, pulling more blanket over him and Kurapika, caressing his hair trying to soothe his active and stressed mind.
He was safe now. But he didn't know that when he got like this. Kurapika didn't even have to say anything to make it apparent. Leorio just knew.
Reading the signs was like clockwork.
__
All his dreams are spiders. All the bad ones. All the ones that happened after he was left to think alone for too long. Left undistracted.
Vulnerable to the attacks inflicted upon him from his own mind, he cried out, inaudibly.
Watching eyes plucked and tiny legs crawling up his own. Sensations of disgust, cold, and that fear. That made his blood run colder than the permafrosts. Colder than death.
A pulling feeling in his gut up through his throat.
Mounting panic plagued his mind and spread like neurotoxin.
Heart Rate heightened. He was restless. Sweating bullets, freezing ones.
He felt that gut wrenching fear flood up into his eyes and lungs and it was hard to breathe. It was hard to sleep. His limbs were tense and cold and aching.
He was awake. And he was terrified.
__
Leorio dealt with this often enough to know the drill.
That never made him shake the feeling of guilt that even with his degree, even being a medical professional, the wound Kurapika suffered wasn't one you could so simply dress.
It wasn't so superficial that gauze could combat the pain and infection.
_
Kurapika's eyes glistened brightly and his breathing was fast and shallow. He squirmed and sobbed as he looked around in panic, feeling the sensation in his gut persisting.
It was something along the lines of how you feel after not having eaten for a long time. A hunger.
But a hunger that crept into his throat, clawing and creeping up when he felt the most vulnerable in his mind.
He felt Leorio's reassuring hands around him, holding his face and looking deep into his bright and scared eyes, with a deep sorrow and an unending amount of love.
That feeling in his gut almost felt like when you're in love, too.
A gut wrenching feeling of longing. That hunger again. But even when you're with the person of your dreams, that hunger for them is ever burning and you just want them more and more. It's almost like it never stops.
It's never satisfying.
Not even devouring him would stop that hunger.
He felt in that sorrowful look there was the most pure, raw love anyone has ever seen, felt, touched, or anything.
And when it came down to it, that's all that could get him out of his current state, and any that he had been in before.
“Leorio..” He said in a voice high and weak, trembling at the slightest use.
As Kurapika threw himself into Leorio's arms, he felt the warm breath through his hair.
“It's ok sunshine, we're here. You're gonna be alright, I'm here.”
His gentle whisper filled Kurapika's ears, and he felt his heart rate drop almost instantaneously. Like a relaxant, a drug. One that made his eyes dilate.
One that made his legs weak and floaty at the same time.
Curling under the pressure of his own thoughts, he lied all the way down again, bringing Leorio with him.
There were a lot of descriptors he could use for how it felt.
Tight, but not too tight as to hurt him, just tight enough to feel a squeeze of presence and warmth, reassurance.
Sweet. It coated his tongue like maple and vanilla and made him think of heat radiating off of a fire. Dancing on his skin.
Sad. he couldn't really explain that one, but it felt sinking. It felt like with all these good things, there was a dripping feeling of dread, maybe dread wouldn't be the right word. But it comes close enough to be rendered useful.
Even with the bad things, his clumsiness, his lack of self preservation, all these things made Kurapika love him even more. All these "flaws" just expressed more dimension, and more proof that through it all, he was ever standing.
He was the constant Kurapika had been looking for. And that, somehow felt as sad as it did intoxicating.
“Come on”
He felt butterflies form in his stomach in place of the hunger, his vision was no longer red. But everything felt like it had a filter that made it even more beautiful than it felt. Like it was shimmering.
It painted a simple gesture as something so sweet, so unreal you could almost drown yourself in it.
Leorio grasped his hand, and walked him into the kitchen.
He did this a lot, walking him to the kitchen at early hours of the morning to make tea. The luster never wore off.
The way he handed the warm mug over to Kurapika, the way no matter if the moon was out or it was dreary and rainy, he seemed to be moonlit.
Everything about it made him breathless.
Every word he spoke, that tone he used, how it was warm and felt like honeysuckle and summer nights.
Nights like these.
Nights that he needed the most.
The dreams are bittersweet., if you think about how it turns out.
The agitation, the rage, the fear, that's never good. But it always proves how much Leorio cares. How much he’d be willing to do.
God, that man was so perfect. A perfect balance of stupid enough to make you laugh, but mindfull enough to make it apparent that he knows. He sees things, patterns.
And he does everything in his power to make it feel less painful.
He knows pain he doesn't experience. He absorbs it somehow, though you can never be sure what allows him to do that.
It's in his nature, maybe.
And, he knew how to kiss just right. It almost sucks something out of you but he's never taking anything. Because he never asks anything of the world but for them to listen.
He knows how to make anyone fall asleep in 10 minutes, somehow.
I think it was something about how calm he is. How his aura just seeps into you and makes your eyes heavy.
The rest of the night stayed tranquil, and moonlit. He slept alright this time.