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“Steve?”
Steve was breathing hard against his mouth like he couldn’t catch his breath.
“Steve! Hey, man, what’s wrong?” Eddie tried shaking Steve’s shoulders a little, but Steve was still looking right through him, completely unresponsive.
Eddie’s mind was going a mile a minute. This was like Chrissy all over again. Blank stare, frozen in place, and completely unresponsive to the world. Except Vecna was supposed to be gone. Maybe this was a new mind attack, or maybe they failed, and this was Vecna’s revenge.
Steve’s choking pulled Eddie back into the moment. Chrissy hadn’t been choking, or gasping, or breathing at all when Vecna attacked her. She had gone eerily still and completely silent. Steve’s face, on the other hand, was red, and he was crying. Steve sounded like he was trying to get one more breath of air in before his last.
“Hey, man, I really need you to talk to me!”
Eddie didn’t know what to do to help. He gently moved Steve onto his side and held him from behind. Maybe if Eddie held Steve down to the bed, Vecna wouldn’t be able to take Steve away. Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve’s arms and locked them in front of Steve’s chest. Maybe it wouldn’t help, but Eddie wasn’t ready to watch Steve die yet.
Eddie held on tight, listening to every ragged breath Steve managed to pull in next. The worst was when Steve stopped making noise. Eddie was certain he was about to feel all of Steve’s bones break and contort in weird directions under his hands. Eddie was too afraid to look at Steve’s face. Too scared that Steve’s eyes were already gone, replaced with an empty socket. That Steve was already gone. Every time Steve stopped breathing, Eddie thought it would be his last, but then Steve would gasp, and the coughing fits would continue. Eddie's only indication that Steve was still alive was his heartbeat rapidly beating against Eddie’s palm.
Distantly, Eddie was aware of the music playing. Maybe it was the thing still giving Steve a fighting chance. They were on White Queen now. Hopefully, Steve could break free within the next two songs left from the record, and everything would be fine.
“Please come back,” Eddie’s voice was wet and broken on the back of Steve’s neck. “I can’t lose you like this. Please come back to me.”
Eddie was holding back his own tears. Steve wasn’t gone yet, so there was no reason to start mourning now.
After The Loser in the End finished playing, Steve was still gasping for air. Even without the noise, Steve was still fighting. Eddie tried to focus on the needle going around the dead wax on the runout area. The slight popping noise was almost soothing if he didn’t think too hard.
After what felt like an eternity of listening to Steve’s ragged breathing, Eddie felt Steve’s hands on his arms. Steve started rubbing small circles into his forearms. He was still gasping for breath, but he was starting to calm down. Steve was moving again, and Eddie desperately hoped this meant he was back to normal.
“Steve?”
“Yeah?” Steve’s voice cracked.
“Are you okay?”
Steve nodded that he’d be okay.
“Did I hurt you?” Eddie’s voice was quiet and scared. Maybe nothing supernatural happened at all. Maybe he sent Steve into a panic because of who he was. That this was all because Steve wasn’t comfortable with his sexuality yet, and Eddie pushed him too far. Steve shook his head ‘no,’ and Eddie’s fears melted away.
“Will you flip the record?” Steve still sounded terrible, but Eddie was just glad to hear his voice again.
Eddie didn’t understand Steve’s question at first. After everything just then, flipping the record to the B side should have been the last thing on Steve’s mind. Unless he really was psychically attacked and he was looking for something to ground himself to reality.
“Y-yeah. I can do that. I’ll be back; it’ll only take a second.”
Eddie finally released Steve and got out of bed. Eddie lifted the needle, flipped the vinyl, and dropped the needle again within a minute. It was probably the fastest he’s ever changed records; he just desperately wanted to feel Steve’s pulse under his hand.
Eddie was back in the bed as fast as he could manage. The bed dipped under his weight, but he hesitated before touching Steve again. The thought that he was the one who hurt Steve was still front and center in his mind, and he was unsure how to fix it all. Steve reached behind himself and pulled at Eddie's arm until Eddie covered him like a blanket. Steve sighed, and Eddie started to relax as well. Eddie put his hand on Steve’s cheek and brushed away the stray tears.
“I thought I’d lost you,” Eddie confessed. “I thought a new mind monster had come to take you, and there wasn’t anything I could do. You just froze up and started choking. I thought it was going to be like Chrissy again…” Eddie’s voice broke off. He didn’t know how to voice every he just saw.
“I’m right here,” Steve promised. “What’s this song?”
“It’s the end of Ogre Battle,” Eddie told him with his face now pressed into the crook of Steve’s neck. It was about as close to heavy metal as Queen got, but Eddie liked it all the same.
“This is actually one of the first songs they ever played. They waited to record it until they had enough studio freedom to do what they wanted. Those high notes there? They’re actually sung by Taylor. What’s cool about this one is that the opening of the song is actually the end of the song played in reverse,” the song changed. “This is The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke. Mercury wrote it because of a painting by the same name. I’ve never seen it before, but it sounds cool.”
Steve was nodding along to what Eddie was saying. Eddie didn’t know if he was listening, but from how they held each other like a lifeline, it didn’t matter. Steve was looking for comfort, and if Eddie telling him facts about music helped, he’d talk all night long.
“This is Nevermore. It’s believed that Mercury wrote it after having his heart broken, but I don’t think that was ever confirmed. What’s cool about it, though, is the ‘ring’ effects you hear are actually made with a normal piano. Everyone thought it was made with synthesizers, but they were actually created by someone plucking the piano strings while Mercury played the notes.”
Nevermore turned into The March of the Black Queen.
“This is The March of the Black Queen. It’s their second-longest song ever. The tape apparently went transparent from going over the recording head so many times. Overdubbing like that, the oxide wears off. A lot of people think that Taylor was talking about their ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ sessions, but it was actually about this song.”
The song finished, and Funny How Love Is started to play. Eddie never really liked it, but Side B as a whole was better than side A.
“This is Funny How Love Is.”
To Eddie’s shock, Steve started to hum along to the melody.
“Do you like this one?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. What’s it called again?”
“It’s called Funny How Love Is,” Eddie told him. “It’s pretty interesting because it’s never been performed live.”
Steve rubbed his face, “Why not?”
Eddie shrugged, “The song has very high-register vocals and is too demanding to play live. What’s also interesting about it, though, is it was produced using the wall of sound technique.”
“What’s that?”
“You basically need a bunch of instruments doubling or tripling many of the parts of the song to create a fuller, richer tone. Queen would use uncommon instruments for an ensemble too. make it like electric and acoustic guitars.”
Eddie wished he had a forty-minute loop of How Funny Love Is. Then he could put headphones on Steve and keep him right there. Keep Steve safe in his arms. Instead, he had a death grip around Steve. The Upside Down would have to pry Steve out of his cold, dead hands. Eddie got up to move the needle back at the start of the song.
“This is my new favorite song,” Eddie told him, getting back in bed.
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s the one you like,” Eddie’s hands we back in Steve’s hair, and he pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple.
“I think it’s my new favorite song, too,” Steve pulled Eddie close enough that their noses touched. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know.” Eddie was going to hold him to that. No matter what spooky bullshit came next, they would face it together.
Steve fell asleep before the song could finish a second time. Eddie let the album play out, and this time when the needle hit wax, he got up to turn it off and put it all away. Steve was still knocked out when Eddie got back in bed and hardly moved as Eddie slipped in next to him. Steve was a surprisingly deep sleeper despite everything he’d seen and done. After Eddie’s brief stint in the Upside Down, he couldn’t sleep for weeks. Anytime he closed his eyes, it felt like he was back in the twisted version of Hawkins.
Eddie stayed up and watched Steve sleep. He knew from the outside he must have looked like a creep, but he was still paranoid that Steve would suddenly shoot in the air and break. Not one part of him wanted to disturb Steve while he looked this peace. No, Eddie would let Steve sleep there the entire night, his uncle be damned. Worst came to worse, Eddie could always use the excuse that Steve got too high and couldn’t drive himself home. Though he doubted the man would ask. Coming in at 5 AM every day made you care less about the weird shit you saw when you got home.
At 4:50, when Eddie saw his uncle’s car lights, he got up and locked the room’s door. If you kicked the door, it wouldn’t do shit to stop someone from getting in, but it would buy them enough time to get Steve out the window if needed. Eddie knew he was right about his uncle not giving a fuck when he heard the screen door slam closed and then the click of the fridge. His uncle was far more interested in the beer in the fridge than the reason there was an extra car next to the trailer. Eddie listened as his uncle moved around the trailer until he eventually heard his uncle’s room door close, and the trailer went still again.
After another hour of lying in bed, the sun started making its way past the curtains. Steve began to stir next to him.
“Good morning,” Eddie said, pressing a kiss into Steve’s hair.
Steve looked at him with his sad doe eyes, “I’m sorry I ruined last night. It wasn’t about you. I mean, the reason I got like that- what happened- that wasn’t because of us,” Steve clarified.
“It’s okay,” Eddie brushed a few stray hair strands out of Steve’s face, “you don’t have to tell me anything.”
“No, you should know. It’s just- I don’t know- like a dream, I guess? At first, I knew where I was; then, I was back in the Upside Down. I was reliving being attacked, but this time no one came to save me. I knew it wasn’t real the whole time, but everything felt so real in the moment.”
Eddie kept his hand in Steve’s hair playing with a few stay curls. He didn’t know how to fight Steve’s demons or even where to start if they were supernatural.
“I’ll be right here when you need me,” Eddie laced their fingers together a pressed a kiss to the back of Steve’s palm. “Whatever you need, Steve, I’ll be right here.”
Steve cuddled close, and Eddie watched the sunrise from the trailer window.
“This happened a few times back when we went up against demodogs. It was just the kids and me then, and the only thing I had was a bat full of nails. I would have these dreams in the middle of the day where it all went to shit, and I died. Or worse, one of the kids was attacked, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I really thought I was over them. The dreams, I mean. It’s been almost a year since the last one.”
Eddie wanted to tell Steve how much he meant to him but couldn’t find the right words. Steve must’ve picked up on Eddie’s distress.
“I would understand if you don’t want- I mean, if you no longer want to be with me. I would get it. I’m kind of a broken mess, and it’s a lot-“ Eddie cut Steve off.
“I love you, Steve! I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since I saw you in the hall my second freshman year. And I fell in love with you again when I actually met you and learned what a beautiful, kind, amazing person you actually are. And again, when, against all odds, you came to find me and kissed me back? I didn’t think I could fall even harder, but I did. Steve, the more I know about you, the more I find I love about you. There’s literally nothing you could say or do to make me hate you. Not one thing I would ever want to change about you. We stopped the world from ending together! There is literally nothing you could ask of me that I wouldn’t do for you. And you going through everything you have and still being sane after? It’s metal as fuck, dude. You're not broken, Steve. You’ve just been hurt pretty bad, and it’s going to take some time to heal.”
Steve was silently crying, “And if I never heal?”
“You will. I promise you will. Just know you don’t have to be strong all the time; you can lean on people when you need help.” Eddie kissed Steve’s forehead, “Especially me. You can lean on me anytime because I’m not going anywhere. Nowhere without you, Steve.”
Steve hiccuped through his tears, “I love-“ Eddie cut him off.
“You don’t have to say it back. I know. Take your time and say it when you’re ready.”
Steve kissed him back, and this time they both fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Steve fell asleep first again, too strung out from everything to stay awake a minute longer. And all of Eddie’s fried nerves finally calmed down enough that he could pass out too. When Eddie woke back up, Steve was already awake and playing with his hair.
“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized, “did I wake you?” His voice was hushed but, for the first time in hours, sounded normal.
“No,” Eddie smiled. It almost felt normal waking up next to Steve, “I think the sun got me first.” The room was already full of noonday sun despite the curtain's best efforts.
“I should go home now. I might be a year out of school, but my mom still runs a tight ship.”
“Yeah, of course,” Eddie finally sat up to give Steve a good morning kiss. Steve smiled against his lips.
Eventually, they both sat up, and Steve went to go back out the window.
“Where are you going?” Eddie asked before Steve could get the window open.
“Home?”
“You can use the front door. My uncle’s still asleep and at this point, going through the window is more suspicious.” Eddie unlocked his room door, “If he asks, I’m going to say you got too high and couldn’t drive home last night.” Steve frowned at Eddie’s idea but didn’t offer up a different solution. “Wait!” Eddie dropped next to his bed and rifled through a pile of records. “Before you go, take this,” he handed Steve a record. The album was Queen A Day at the Races. Eddie got it back when he was mostly into rock.
“Why?”
“I just think you’ll like it.”
“Thanks, Eddie,” Steve was smiling again, and Eddie couldn’t help but push him against the door and kiss him again.
“Talk to you later tonight?” Eddie asked, pressing more kisses against Steve’s cheek.
“Yeah,” Steve gave Eddie one last kiss before quietly sneaking back out of the trailer.