Chapter Text
It had been over a week since they had defeated vecna, Eddie had been proven innocent, however, he could feel everyone watch his every move, waiting.
Waiting for him to fuck up.
To prove he was some monster.
He was used to being looked at as some devil worshipper- like some animal... but this was different. Every time he went out, he felt their eyes. He watched the lights, and watched his steps, scared of reliving the horror he had previously encountered.
Every night he hid under his covers, scrunching his eyes shut to ignore the lights, jumping at any loud noises, and hiding when the lights flickered.
It was just the shitty trailer, it was just their shitty lights.
Yet some days were too hard to handle, the staring, the creaks, the lights, the sight of the roof, it was all too much.
Today was one of those days, he could feel the panic setting in as he sat on his bed, but he finally broke, he needed someone, anyone.
Eddie quickly hopped into his van. Racing to the video shop, and running inside, hoping to find robin.
“A little eager? How can I help- Eddie?” Steve said, turning around to face the customer, stopping himself in clear surprise to see the tangle of hair and utter look of fear resting on the other man’s face.
“Are you ok? You look like you’ve been through hell?” Steve blurted out, “shit sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude but you don’t look so good, man”
Eddie opened his mouth to speak, quickly closing it as he felt the tightness of his throat swell and the watering of his eyes. He rubbed his sleeve across his eyes and tried again, “it’s so stupid, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong I just- is Robin here? I need to see her, I need to talk to her.” He rambled, avoiding eye contact as his eyes continued to water.
“Woah, hey man I’m sorry but she called in sick today, I don’t know what’s wrong but you can talk to me, I might not provide much comfort but I’m here for you…it’s alright Eddie.”
It was as if those words stabbed him, almost instantly he released a tight gasp, followed by tears and soft whimpers as he held his head in his hands over the counter.
Everything had finally bubbled up. The experience was truly fucked up, so fucked. it fucked him. Ruined everything.
Steve walked around the counter, softly wrapping his arm around Eddie’s shoulder, leading him to an aisle of DVDs, suggesting he take a seat.
“I’ll be right back, just- wait for me please” Steve began, the lights suddenly flickering sending Eddie into a clear panic.
Eddie practically jumped to his feet, gripping the collar of Steve’s shirt, as he silently stared at Steve in fear, tears continuing to run down his face.
“Don’t leave me, for fuck sake don’t leave me, please. What if it happens again? What if we didn’t do it right? What if-“ Steve quickly interrupted, “it’s done, it’s not coming back Eddie, follow me, I was going to grab you some water and tissues.”
Eddie followed behind the other boy, aggressively gripping his sweater.
They finally walked into the office and Steve motioned for Eddie to take a seat on the couch; however, he sat beside it, in the corner of the room guarded by the seat and wall.
“Want to talk about it?”
Eddie nodded, taking in a few deep breaths.
“Does it get easier? The constant fear that this isn’t done? The static, the nightmares, the fucking lights? The way I never feel safe? Will it get better? How do you do it? I’m- I'm so fucking scared all the time. I’m so fucking worried that it’ll happen again, see the way Chrissy- the way people's bodies-“ he questioned, his dark eyes begging Steve for an answer, a solution, anything positive.
Steve swallows roughly. It doesn’t, you live with it. Can you Eddie? Can you survive? He immediately regrets the thought, because it quickly deepens into something that twists in his gut and feels heavy in his chest.
“Yes…and no. It gets easier, but the fear stays. You learn to live with it, to try and still actually exist. I’m still scared, I still have nightmares sometimes, and I still panic when I see something odd, but I know it’s not that. I know it’s safe, and even if it isn’t, I’ve got my friends, we’ve been through this and we can do it again. We can get through this, we can survive together, Eddie. all of us.”
“Thank you, I’m sorry man, this is a lot and you have your problems, I didn’t realize you were going through this too, I’m sorry to ask for something but I need your help man.” He began, “can I stay here? Or anywhere? I can’t be home, I can’t see the roof again or the lights, I just can’t do it, not tonight, please.”
“Yeah man, of course, I’ll stay with you.”
“Sorry I don’t have any pillows or blankets man, but robin forgot her jacket and you can borrow mine, you can have the couch and I’ll sleep in the corner near you if that’s fine? Just so you feel safe.” Steve stated rather than asking.
“Yeah man, thank you, I owe you,” Eddie replied, trading spots with Steve.
“It’s nothing Eddie, we’re here for you.”
Closing his eyes slowly Eddie reached his hand through the side of the couch, snaking his hand through Steve’s, squeezing as reassurance to himself mostly.