Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fade stood in front of a bedroom door and entered her new code. The door swished open to show an empty room with a basic bed and a small box of her belongings, which wasn't a lot. This would be her new home indefinitely.

Fade hasn't called a place home in a very long time. She was always on the move or making some kind of makeshift safe house. To relax, to feel secure; it wasn't a luxury she ever afforded.

Cypher and Brimstone may have been thrilled to higher her on after she showcased her abilities, but that didn't mean she was welcome. Several agents expressed disappointment with the "blackmailer" being part of the team. Fade knew it would take time to regain their lost trust in her. She accepted that and she couldn't blame them for feeling the way they do. The witch, the monster, the freak. It all stung in some way but Fade wouldn't let it show.

Her abilities gave her empathetic capabilities to know whenever someone's attention turned to her. Or when someone was scared around her. Or when someone was angry at her. No one needed to show her how unwanted she was, though that never really stopped some of them.

Fade's first attempt at friendship didn't end very well. She went to Killjoy and Raze's workshop since those two seemed the most approachable. Or at least they were too busy working to be glaring at her. "Um, hello?"

The two looked up in synchronized unison. Killjoy greeted her, "Oh! Hallo. You must be that new agent, ja?" Fade felt Killjoy's worry and her apprehension. Raze's anxiety was less so but was still there.

"Welcome, amiga! What brings you to us?"
Raze smiled and opened up her body language as if she was showing off her workshop.

Fade wasn't expecting such a welcome response from the two. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Fade thought, "I, uh, just wanted to see what you guys are working on." Fade couldn't make heads or tails on whatever it was that they were doing. It looked like a plate or a sensor or something.

Killjoy held up the device, "This is a stun bot. Once an assailant steps within the radius they will receive an intense static shock to lock them in place."

"And eventually they will go boom." Raze added.

"Yes, well we are currently working on that part." Killjoy continued

Fade found the perfect opportunity to potentially be useful. "Can I help with anything?"

The two thought for a moment of if they needed a labrat for anything. Killjoy seemed to think of something, "You could help us test the sensors! We needed someone with radiance to make sure the device works unilaterally."

Fade raised an eyebrow, "Have there been instances where a device didn't work on radiants?"

Killjoy nodded her head, "Oh, ja!"

Fade shrugged, "Well, I guessI'myour radiant."

Raze jumped up in excitement, "Perfecto, come with us!" The two lead Fade into a small training area. They were probably 30 feet away from her while she was on the other end of the room with their device.

Killjoy yelled out, "Ok, I have lowered the shock intensity so it shouldn't hurt. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Killjoy flipped on the switch and the device shocked her alright. Her Prowler growled at the slight pain. "Not now Prowler, it doesn't even tickle." The device shocked her a little more the second time. "Ow, hey Killjoy, I thought you were keeping the intensity low."

Killjoy looked confused, "I am. I haven't changed it."

The device shocked a third time but this time it was excruciating. Fade barked a yell and fell to her knees in pain. Killjoy's face grew wide in shock and Raze burst into a sprint towards Fade. Fade couldn't hold in the Prowler as the device shocked her again and the Nightmare started spilling out of her the weaker she got. Prowler summoned in front of Fade and growled at Raze.

Raze stopped in her tracks. The creature skulked towards her and Raze's fear spiked. The tendrils from Fade's body shot out and attacked Raze who went limp in unconsciousness. Killjoy yelled out to Raze as she ran in to grab Raze and run, but the darkness was too quick. Killjoy's fear spiked as well and the darkness pounced on it. Meanwhile, the device finally turned off and Fade could recompose herself. The two limp bodies of Raze and Killjoy caused her to gasp in horror and immediately force the Nightmare back.

The two slowly woke up from consciousness and Fade was standing over them. "Oh god, are you guys ok?I'mso.."

The two interrupted her as their faces showed that they were terrified. "Stay away! Get away from us!"

Fade was taken aback by this. "N-no. No. No. No, guys it's still me. It's still..!" The two cowered away from her and closed their eyes in anticipation. They were scared of her. Fade sighed and sadly walked out of the room.

That had been Fade's first day in Valorant, the following months became more difficult for her to adapt to. Jett and Phoenix didn't even try to make friends with her and they were the most vocal about their distrust and hatred for her. Reyna gave her cold stares as if she was a predator watching her prey. Fade's mentioning of her sister really struck a nerve in the empress. Yoru ignored her for the most part but he always kept an eye on her with side glances. He liked to keep a wall up in front of everyone and Fade threatened that.

Cypher and Sage were at least outwardly friendly and supportive of her choice to join and never hesitated to make her feel welcome, though they might be the only ones that are happy with her presence here. Still, she can sense the subtle uneasiness in them when they talk to her.

And the absolute worst was Neon. The amount of fear and anger that radiated from her was almost an overload. Neon shivered at her sight and turned as timid as a puppy. The look on her face when Fade was existing around her made Fade feel a pain in her heart.

To Fade it had all been a misunderstanding on her part and she feels deep remorse for what she did. Of course, most of the other agents don't see it that way, which delegated Fade to spend most of each day hiding in her room. Or, in today's case, spending time with Cypher when he wasn't busy.

Fade never understood why Cypher ever forgave her for what she did. His privacy was sacred to him and she defiled it. Maybe he believed her when she told him she was sorry unlike everyone else. Or he knows that for her to spill secrets would be to end their deal. Either way, he was a nice reprieve from all the glares and insults.

Fade entered the lounge in the early morning when Cypher wasn't knee deep in busy work. Usually he spent his free time reading or playing chess during his off time and Fade would try and catch him for a game. Unfortunately, it looks like Cypher just finished his chess practice for today since he was standing up from the table. Cypher noticed Fade and her disappointed face before heading over to her. "Ah, sorry, my dear. I was called down by Brimstone for something but come!" Cypher held his hand out towards the door. "Walk with me a little."

Fade nodded and walked by his side. "It better be important." Fade knew it was a bit selfish but she really wanted to relax a little today.

"Oh, you know Brimstone. It's either important or he needs me for tedious tech support." Cypher chuckled which made Fade smile.

"Doesn't he have Killjoy for that?"

"He doesn't like to bother the little engineer too much. Plus she's working on a lot of high value projects at the moment."

Fade scoffed, "It sounds like he coddles her."

Cypher shrugged in response and changed the topic. "So, how have things been? Getting easier, I hope."

Fade's smile went away and she found the floor to be interesting all of a sudden. "Just peachy."

Cypher sadly glanced at her. "It will get better. They just need time."

"It's been months." Fade felt a shiver run through her, causing her to hug herself. "I know I probably don't deserve their forgiveness but I think it's foolish to think time will make things better."

"Have you been talking to them? Maybe if you…"

"I can only take so much from them, Cypher." Fade interrupted suddenly. "It's just easier to stay out of their way, for everyone."

Cypher sighed but didn't argue further. The two turned a corner in the hallway and noticed a group of agents chatting. Neon, Yoru and Jett standing in a triangle with the latter facing toward Cypher and Fade. Jett eyed Fade and her expression turned cold. She glared angrily which brought the attention of the other two to turn around. Yoru's face showed his normal calm and collected expression despite the slight discomfort that she felt within. Neon's eyes widened at the sight of Fade and she could feel her fear spike. Prowler attempted to jump from her skin but Fade resisted. Whenever the Nightmare sensed a fear or anxiety from anywhere it hungered for it and tried to tear itself from Fade's control to hunt for it. Even if it was Fade herself creating the source, the Nightmare consumed it.

Fade shifted slightly behind Cypher and pulled on his jacket sleeve, "Maybe I should go." Cypher waved her off.

"Nonsense. If they want to leave they can. They're not children." Cypher moved forward and Fade reluctantly followed while still staying behind him. She returned to hugging herself and keeping her head down as if it somehow hid her from them.

Neon hesitantly spoke up, "Uh, Cypher. Can we talk to you about something urgent? Privately?" Cypher nodded and stopped before Neon. Neon leaned to look behind him and saw Fade still standing there.

Jett rudely restated, "Privately." Fade was sure she heard her muddle "freak" under her breath.

"You interrupted us. If you prefer to do this another time…"

Fade hissed at him, "Cypher…" in a silent plea to just let it go.

"It can't wait." Neon asserted. "I don't want her eavesdropping."

"Then we are at an impasse. If you'll excuse us…"

Jett became annoyed, "It's your job to look out for us but you're the one that let that bitch in here."

Cypher was about to say something else but Yoru interrupted him, "She's gone. Can we move on now?"

Cypher turned around to see that Fade had certainly left them. Sighing, he turned to Neon and continued. "Now, what is so important?"

Fade tried to compose herself as she breathed a little heavy. Ever since she joined Valorant her anxiety shot through the roof and it made her feel juvenile and weak. Bullets flying, she could handle. God forbid she gets scrutinized by her peers who would rather she dies in a ditch. Fade balled up her fist and slammed it against the wall of the hallway as she fought back tears. "You don't need them. You've never needed them." She reassured herself. She felt the Nightmare hunger for her and Prowler appeared in front of her. "I have you. You'll never leave me." Fade wasn't sure if it was reassuring to remember or not but it helped her hold herself together.

Fade's energy had already been drained from today despite it only being about mid afternoon, and thankfully some of the most problematic agents were talking with Cypher so perhaps getting food today wouldn't be a hassle.

Luck wouldn't be on her side it seems as every other agent in the base showed up to lunch. She felt several eyes slowly stare at her and the spike of fear emanating throughout the room reignited the Nightmare within and Fade's energy was sapped once again. Ok, just ignore them. We just need some coffee and we can leave. Fade silently begged. She hid her face behind her hair and stared at the floor as she sped walked to the coffee machine.

The room wasn't exactly subtle with their whispers which did not help her growing anxiety. Killjoy and Raze were silently arguing about whether or not they should just go eat in the lab. Reyna wasn't trying to be subtle about the "heartless witch" interrupting everyone's lunch which Fade thought was priceless coming from her.

Of course the pot was empty when she got there which meant she had to make a new batch. Fade groaned. I just want today to end. She started up the machine and it read 2 minutes on it. Fast for what it's doing but agonizing for Fade's situation. She tapped her foot and kept her back towards the room who still wasn't doing a good job at being subtle.

Breach was mumbling to Chamber about how she wasn't so tough and that he could punch her through a wall. Fade's breath hitched at the comment and her anxiety turned into fear. She knew Breach wouldn't get close enough to her while the Nightmare was awake. That still didn't mean she wanted a confrontation like that to happen in front of everyone. The coffee reached 1 minute left and Fade's foot tapping increased in pace. She went back to hugging herself to make her feel smaller to the room. She heard a chair slide and she stopped breathing in anticipation, worried it was Breach making good on his word. She wouldn't put it past Chamber to egg him on. Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder startled her and she jumped away from it while holding her hands up to block the incoming attack.

When no attack came, Fade looked at her supposed aggressor and saw a concerned looking Sage. "Fade? Is everything ok? You looked agitated."

Fade glanced back at the room and saw heads turn away from her. Breach was still seated right where he was while Killjoy and Raze left with their food. A sigh of relief came from Fade, "Yes, ya. I'm…I'm fine. Just need some coffee." The machine beeped as the pot finished. Fade poured herself a cup and offered Sage one. Sage kept her concerned face while waving off the coffee.

Fade dumped 5 packets of sugar into her cup and stirred it. Sage cringed, "That's a lot of sugar."

Fade nodded, "Keeps the Nightmares away."

Fade practically chugged her coffee instead of sipping it slowly which made Sage reach out in concern. "Careful, Fade. Isn't that painful?"

Fade shook her head, "You learn to deal with it. I need the caffeine." Fade looked to the room again and felt anxious all over again. "I'm going to head back to my room for the day." Fade started to walk away towards the door but was surprised to see Sage was next to her.

"May I walk you back?" Sage offered.

Fade shrugged, "I don't mind."

Sage followed her out of the cafeteria and Fade finally felt a weight lift off her shoulders. "Don't forget, you have your check up tomorrow."

Fade looked confused at first and then mentally cursed herself. She had completely forgotten about it. "Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me."

Sage smiled, "Been distracted?"

That was the understatement of the century. "Ya, a bit." Fade took another sip of her coffee. "Guess I'm still getting used to everything." Sage knew that wasn't entirely true and that Fade's transition has been problematic for a lot of agents.

"8 A.M. sharp, ok?"

Fade nodded in understanding but chose not to verbalize it. The two made it to Fade's room and Sage took her leave from her. The room was dark with dark red mood lights decorating the ceiling and walls like an outdoor festival would be arranged. Several posters layered the walls showing bands, movies and other media that she enjoys. Prowler was summoned from her hand, her room was the one place she allowed her to roam around free. The floor had a carpet rug and her desk was messy with her drawings and newspapers sprawled out. Fade sat down on her bed and set her coffee on the end table. She laid down on the bed and put her hands behind her head, taking a heavy breath as she did.

Despite the coffee, she was ready to close her eyes. She knew the Nightmare wouldn't actually let her rest but she had a long night ahead of her and maybe her luck would change.

Chapter Text

Fade didn’t understand why Sage had told her to be by her office at 8 in the morning when she had to sit and wait for Reyna who apparently was scheduled at the same time as her. Being around the base unnerved her enough but the fact that she was going to have to pass by her made her anxious already. Fade conceded that this was probably going to be a long day already.

Fade wasn't a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. It didn't help that the Nightmare refused to grant her the solace of sleep, but the slow rise of the sun just made her feel exhausted. Even though she can't even see the sun in the underground base she could still feel her body just wanting to fall in bed. Valorant pretty much dictated that her days, or nights rather, of skulking in the moonlight were over. They had a schedule she had to try to abide by at the very least.

Finally, the door opened and bored looking Reyna walked through. Fade stood up to enter and stared at the ground to avoid her eye contact but Reyna decided to stop in front of the doorway. "Is little miss dreary begging for more antidepressants?"

The comment caught Fade off guard and she glanced up in confusion. "Uh..what?"

"Oh, come on." Reyna rolled her eyes, "Don't play coy. You can drop the whole 'depressed girl' act." She put up quotations with her hands.

Fade's brows furrowed, "What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms and shifted her weight on her right leg. "I don't have an act and… I-I'm not depressed…" Fade scoffed at the last word at how ridiculous it was.

Reyna's face shone a grin and fearsome eyes that glared down Fade. "I can feel your heart pounding." Reyna crowded Fade's space as she stepped closer to her. "Don't lie to me, freak. I'll slice more than your wrists if you ever dare speak her name again."

Fade shrunk from the radiant in front of her. Her overwhelming stature scared Fade slightly and Prowler tried to force herself out but Fade held her in forcefully. "I don't…do that…I won't do anything to her. Now back off of me!"

A soft cough sound came from behind Reyna that caused the empress to look behind her. Sage was standing in the doorway. "I think that's enough, Reyna. Please excuse Fade and I." Sage said with a stern voice that Fade had never heard before. Reyna scoffed and shoved Fade to the side and out of her way. Fade hit the wall with a loud thud. Reyna marched down the hall and Fade watched her go with furrowed brows. Asshole. Fade felt a hand touch her shoulder and gasped at Sage, taking a long exhale after holding in a breath she didn’t know she had.

"Are you alright?" Fade was still breathing erratically and tried to speak but no words came out as she choked on air. "Hey, breathe. It's ok." Sage put a hand on her forehead and felt a little sweat. "My goodness, you're have a panic attack." Fade shook her head and held up her hand to request a minute of time. Sage put her hand on Fade's waist to move her into the medical office. "Come here, you can rest your head." Fade was put on top of one of the medical beds and Sage grabbed a warm wet rag to put on her head. Fade still looked pained as if she was struggling against something. Sage sighed, "You can let her roam around in here. You know I'm not scared." Fade wants to argue but decided it wasn't worth it anymore. Prowler was summoned by Fade's side and growled at her. Fade still had some fear struck in her by Reyna and the Nightmare sensed. Sage grabbed her clipboard and smacked the Prowler with it. "You behave." The Prowler whimpered and hid behind Fade to avoid the slaps.

It took Fade a couple minutes to finally breathe evenly and to sit up under her own weight. Sage was writing some notes on her clipboard before sitting in a chair next to her. "So, I'm just going to go over some basics with you and then will get into the more personal stuff." Sage bombarded Fade with questions that mostly pertained to having symptoms, discomforts on the physical side and then she performed basic procedures of heart rate, reflects and an oral examination. All straightforward for Fade to answer but then Sage asked about her diet, "Any issues with the food or your general consumption?"

Fade didn’t know how to really answer that and, come to think of it, she hasn't really eaten an actual meal in months. "Umm, I don't know. I guess the vending machines could have more options."

Sage stopped writing and looked at Fade concerned. Then she giggled, "I'll never get used to your dry humor." Fade awkwardly smiled at her as if to understand Sage's meaning. "But seriously. Are you having any issues with the food in the cafeteria?" Sage looked down at her clipboard in anticipation. Fade fiddled with her fingers at not knowing what to say. Sage looked up with a confused look and seeing her nervously fidget made the healer worried. "Fade, you are eating properly, correct?" Fade didn’t respond and instead shrugged. Sage's face turned concerned again as she stood up from her chair. "Come here a moment." Sage walked over to her scale and signaled for Fade to come over. Hopping down from the bed, she stepped on the scale. Sage's eyes widened in shock. "Fade! You're dangerously underweight."

Fade sighed at Sage's reaction, "I'm fine. It's not that big of a problem."

"Why haven't you been eating? Is the food not to your liking? I can get a special order…"

"No, no." Fade held out her hand to stop the train of thought. "The food is fine. I think. I don't actually know but it's not the problem."

"Then?" Sage asked confused

Fade rubbed a hand through her hair and twirled it. "I just…I don't enjoy being harassed when I try to get food. So I just stay out of the way."

Sage gave her a sympathetic look, "Oh, Fade. You need to eat."

Fade just shrugged and moved over to sit on the bed once again. "I'm fine."

"I know it's been difficult adjusting but you can't just hide from everyone." Sage sat back down in the chair.

"I'm not hiding." Fade looked away from Sage with an annoyed expression. "I'm just not letting them get to me."

Sage rested a hand on Fade's shin. "It will get better." Fade couldn't say why she pulled her leg away from the comforting touch, she was actually enjoying it. "What happened to them was very personal. It will take time."

Fade felt terrible about what she did and how far she had taken it. It was a horrible misunderstanding and she wished everyone could just forgive and forget but she was reminded everyday that it wouldn't be that easy.

"I'm not holding my breath."

Sage sighed and picked up her clip board again. She wrote down several more notes while Fade sat in silence. Looking up at Fade, Sage took a deep breath. "I have one more thing I'd like to discuss. Your panic attacks; how often do they happen?"

Fade twiddled her thumbs nervously. "I don't know. I just started getting them."

"Really? That's odd." Sage scribbled on her clipboard. Fade was starting to feel like a novel was being written about her. "Do you know what causes them?"

"Stress? I don't know." Fade bit her lip, she really didn't want to talk about what she considered to be a dumb problem. "It happens when I'm around people too much."

"Hmm" Sage thought for a moment. "Is confrontation part of it? I noticed you had one after you talked to Reyna. I know she's a little more aggressive then rest."

Fade couldn't even look at Sage in the eye or speak without cringing at herself. She felt so weak. A simple nod was all that she could respond with.

Sage wrote more notes on her clipboard, "I'm going to give you some anxiety medication."

Fade jerked her neck to turn to Sage who became a little startled at the quick jump of the girl on the table. "No! I don't need it."

"Fade, this will help."

"I'm not broken. I'm perfectly fine and normal." Fade begged.

"I can't clear you for field work unless you take them. Just try them, if they don't work then we can find alternatives to help." Fade groaned.

Sage opened a cabinet filled with various pill bottles and grabbed one of them. She held it out to Fade who reluctantly took them. "How long?"

"If they work: indefinitely." Fade sighed as she hopped down from the table. "Is there anything else you need?"

Sage checked her notes once more and scribbled in a few more things. "Nope. We'll reconvene next month to see who everything is doing." Sage walked Fade to the door. "Remember to eat more and take those pills when you feel overwhelmed." Fade nodded and walked out of the medical office. Neon had been sitting in the waiting area and her eyes darted from her phone, to Fade and then to Fade's feet. Neon's fire jumped up twice at that moment. Fade looked down to see Prowler at her feet, "Oh, sorry." She pulled Prowler back and she disappeared from the floor. "It's easier on me when she gets to walk around." Neon's response was to just look back into her phone and ignore Fade. The latter felt guilt hit her as Neon's fear pierced her heart. Not wanting to overstay her welcome, Fade hurried out of the hallway and out of Neon's sight. Taking a heavy breath, Fade cursed herself for being terrible at this 'not being scary' thing. She may as well be making things worse.

She really wanted to make things better in Valorant rather than let it all fester. Between all the threats and insults Fade feared she be on these stupid pills truly forever.

Chapter Text

Fade stood in front of Neon's room suddenly feeling a new anxiety constrict her breathing. Quickly, Fade grabbed her pills from her pocket and undid the lid. Just as she was about to pop it into her mouth, the door opened suddenly and a stunned looking Neon stopped in the doorway. "What the hell do you want?" Neon's eyes darted to the pills in Fade's hand, "What are doing?"

Fade's face suddenly got very warm as the embarrassment of her seeing the pill washed over. Quickly putting one in her mouth and shoving the bottle in her pocket, Fade gulped it down and tried to slow her breathing again. Neon just watched with confusion as Fade was freaking out in front of her and she went for the door controls. Fade held up her hand to stop her, "Wait. Please." Fade croaked out and Neon stopped but her expression became frightened. Fade took another minute to catch her breath and tried to hide her face in her hair while she stared at the ground. "I wanted to apologize for earlier."

"Um, which thing?"

Which thing. Fade had to admit that she hadn't expected that. Her anxiety just got worse thinking of her original sin towards Neon. "Well…scaring you this morning. Outside of Sage's office."

Neon scoffed which caused Fade to give a questioning look to her. Neon's demeanor turned annoyed with scrunched eyebrows and crossed arms. "There's a lot more than that to be sorry for."

Fade felt defensive suddenly but continued with the apology. You're here to be friends. Not fight with her. "Look, I wanted to see if you'd want to train together or something. Maybe get food?" Fade looked away in embarrassment at asking someone to hang out like she was some highschool girl.

"Not in your life. Are you crazy?" Fade's chest welled with anger and hurt at the unhesitant rejection. Her breathing felt heavy as she tried to continue the conversation with pride. "After what you did you think you can be all friendly? That we would forget?"

"No…of course not.. I-I just wanted to say sorry and maybe talk about it…I.." Fade stuttered as she tried to keep her breath even. Her emotions ran a little up and down and Prowler was trying to burst. Her grip on the conversation, her emotions and her Prowler were slipping by the second.

"I don't want to talk to you. Ever." Neon shoved Fade aside to get out of her room. "I wish you'd just leave us alone." Neon bolted away without letting Fade respond.

Fade balled her fists as they shook, her anxiety turning to frustration as Neon ran off. She stormed off towards her dorm, flustered and angry. She couldn't even do one nice thing for someone. Prowler was threatening to burst out of her hand as her anger flared and all the frustration of the last two months bubbled over. Where do they get off? They're not all saints! I was protecting myself! Fade silently vented to herself as she tried to make her way faster and faster to her dorm and hopefully avoided any other agents. Why do I care what they think of me? Why does Neon rejecting me hurt so much?

Fade slid open the door to where her dormitory was to find a Phoenix walking towards her from down the hall. Phoenix didn't need to be an empath to see Fade's seething expression as she walked towards him. "Whoa, whoa. Let's chill out, now. No need for mindfuckery, ya?" Phoenix held up his hand in surrender as Fade got closer and he stood as close to the wall as humanly possible. She never slowed and her expression was still spilling out anger which caused Phoenix to get defensive. "You think I'm scared of you, freak?" Phoenix ignited a fire in his hand.

Fade's entire momentum halted at the insult. She'd heard it all her life but she was not in the mood right now. Fade looked at Phoenix in the eyes with a death glare. Stomping forward she shoved him against the wall. "I know you're scared of me!" Fade held out a hand as the Prowler was summoned over her right shoulder. "Now get out of my way." Fade threw Phoenix behind her, thoroughly ensuring her threat went through.

Phoenix held his balance and regained his composure to look back at Fade who was already walking away from him. "Ay, can't wait 'till Valorant's done with ya. Things were better without ya. You hear me? You even think of layin a finger on us you'll be wishing you was dead."

The voice of Phoenix's yelling voice grew subtler as Fade rounded a corner and closer to the dorms. She finally made it to her room and locked the door behind her. Frustration boiled over as she took her pillow and threw it at the wall while making an exasperated groan. "Why are they all idiots!?" Fade hit the light switch and turned out the lights, her mood lights allowing some vision into the room. She released Prowler from her tight leash and allowed her to roam around. Fade fell on the bed with another frustrated groan, she knew she would be hearing about her incident with Phoenix for the next couple of days. Turning her body so that she was laying on her side, Prowler jumped up onto the bed and lay in front of her face.

"What are we even doing here, Prowler?" Fade asked, knowing she wouldn't give a productive answer. Prowler shimmered in a response only Fade could hear. "I was stupid to think it would be different here." Fade grabbed a pillow and shoved it into her face. "Ugh!!" She rolled over on her back and dropped her arms to either side of her in a 'T' pose, the pillow falling with her right hand. Prowler hovered above her chest as Fade looked past her to the ceiling.

Fade sighed and summoned a ball in her hand and tossed it across the room. The Prowler chased after it and bit down on it to bring it back to Fade's open hand. At this point, this was a common activity Fade and her Prowler did to pass the time. Being stuck in her room just meant that she only had Prowler to keep her company and thus there was only so much she could do with the creature. At least it had the bonus effect of tiring Prowler out so she didn't need as much caffeine to control her.

After a few hours of playing fetch with Prowler she heard a soft knock on her door. Fade debated whether she should just ignore it if it was just going to be another confrontation. Phoenix probably mouthed off to everyone about their little hallway incident. Prowler bumped Fade's arm in a begging gesture. Fade hissed at her. "No, stop it." and swatted at Prowler. She held her finger to her lips to signal Prowler to be quiet.

Another knock came from the door a little harder this time. Prowler shoved her body into Fade's side which made her yelp in surprise. "Fade? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Sage's soft voice muffled through the door. Fade groaned and glared at Prowler.

"You just lost ball privileges for two days."

Fade dissipated Prowler and opened the door to find that Sage was frozen in a position to knock again but stopped herself at seeing Fade standing in front of her. Fade put her hands on her hips and held out her other hand to stop Sage's before she started talking.

"If this is about Phoenix, I'll apologize to him. I don't need the lecture." Sage's face looked shocked and then confused at the sudden assertion. Fade felt a feeling of embarrassment rise to her cheeks and shyly changed her stance to look away from Sage. Her right arm bent across her body to grab her left bicep. "Sorry, nevermind. What did you want?"

Sage debated whether she wanted to ask but shook head finally and continued with her original goal. "Fade, I just wanted to talk about you and Neon." Fade raised her eyebrow at Sage, unsure of where this was going. "I understand there are…concerns between you two." Sage seemed to substitute a kinder word for the situation

Fade's expression turned from curious to annoyed, "Concerns?" Fade tapped her leg lightly with her left hand.

"Yes, it seems that you two are having difficulties coexisting." Sage kept her soft smile throughout the conversation despite Fade's growing irritation.

Fade grew defensive at the insinuation that she was doing anything to provoke her. "Coexisting? I haven't had a problem. She's the one with the problem."

"Well, the thing is…" Sage turned her body to show Neon standing around a corner just outside of Fade's room. She was listening the whole time. "She would like to apologize for what she said earlier and have that talk with you."

Neon gave Fade a suspicious glare but nodded hesitantly at Sage's suggestion. Fade sighed at seeing Neon act like a child. "So she needs a parent present to talk to me? I'm glad we could all be adults here."

Neon cringed at the comment and her cheeks heated up in embarrassment. Stepping around the corner, Neon's brows furrowed in anger as she faced Fade with a false bravado. "I'm not the one who attacked you for no reason!"

Fade reflected her anger back but Sage put a hand up to both of them before the fight could continue. "Both of you settle down, right now." The two agents looked at Sage and at each other and started a silent stalemate. "Fade, Neon would like to speak to you privately, and to express her concerns to you. Her only request is that you listen."

Fade almost refused the proposal all together but hesitated once she realized the fairness in the proposition. Fade brought the Nightmare among them, it's not exactly a fair deal for them to not be concerned after she used it on them. Fade mumbled a Turkish swear and let out a "Fine."

"Is there anything you request from Neon?" Sage asked.

"Nothing that won't start another fight so let's just get this over with." Sage stepped beside the two agents and they awkwardly stood while thinking of something to say. Fade was the first to break the silence. "So, where would you like to do this? My room is right here…" The look of worry and the spike of fear that resonated from Neon after that was brought up gave her a clear answer that it was not a preferred venue. "Nevermind."

Neon's stubbornness got the better of her, "That's fine. I don't care. Neon walked towards the door and ignored Fade who stepped aside and out of Neon's way. Fade tapped in her passcode and slid open the door. Neon was greeted to a dark mood lit room.

Fade quickly switched on the lights to give her room much less of an ominous feel to it. "Sorry, I don't like when it's bright."

Neon rolled her eyes and said, "Of course you don't." She walked inside the room. Fade looked at Sage with a pitiful look before she turned into her room. Sage just waved her goodbye as the door closed.

Fade plopped her butt on her bed while Neon stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Fade flicked her wrist and allowed Prowler to roam free on the ground. Neon jumped and immediately panicked, "Does that thing need to be here?!"

Fade sighed and put her head in her hand, "Yes, this is her room too" Fade formed another ball in her hand and tossed it across the room. Prowler dutifully fetched the ball. "See? Just ignore her and she won't bother you."

Neon kept a suspicious gaze on the Prowler as it constantly fetched after the ball. She still felt awkward standing in the middle of the room but didn't seem to know where to put herself. Fade watched her struggle for a few moments before offering the other end of her bed to her. Neon quickly sat down while keeping a cautious eye on Prowler. Fade made a scoff at Neon's antics which Neon sternly asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Fade looked away from Neon and towards Prowler as she threw the ball again. "She's harmless if you just act normal. She really won't attack unprovoked."

"And I'm supposed to trust you?" Fade didn’t fail to see that Neon sees her as untrustworthy.

Fade rolled her eyes, "Look, you came to me. Alright? What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?"

"I don't trust you!"

"Big surprise."

"I wake up with nightmares of you trapping me, suffocating me, dragging me down. I can't even feel safe in my own room because of you!" Neon kept her agitated tone throughout her admission.

Fade crossed her arms and tucked them into her stomach slightly as she became defensive. "Well I'm not doing anything to you. How can I control that?"

Neon stopped herself as she realized she didn't have a retort to Fade. What could Fade do? "I…I don't know. But I know you're using it when everyone is around. I can see you reacting to us even when your back is turned."

Fade scoffed and it was her turn to become agitated. "I'm an empath! I can't decide when anyone radiates intense emotions!"

Prowler had long forgotten about the ball being thrown as she growled and purred at the argument being conducted in front of her. Fade loosened the Prowler's leash. The two agents had long forgotten about the Prowler, the both of them tunnel visioned on each other.

"That's not entirely true is it!" Neon yelled. "Your very existence here threatens everyone."

"Don't you think I know that I'm better off dead?!" Fade had shouted the statement a little too passionately and her breathing had gotten concerningly heavy. Fresh tears found their way down Fade's cheek and her face fell at the realization of what she had just admitted. Neon's face turned from angry to concerned.

"What…what did you say?"

Fade kept breathing heavily and the tears that she had been holding started to spill out into a sob. Her shoulders suddenly shook and her hands fell into her lap. The Prowler skulked to Fade's head and bit into her skull. A surprised Neon jumped back and watched the scene in front of her. Fade's sobs became more fierce, more uncontrolled. The Prowler gnawed into the abyss of Fade's mind. Her hands lifted to her face as the Nightmare fed on her.

Neon looked at her shocked that the Nightmare was attacking Fade. She stood hesitantly and couldn't figure out what to do. Neon reached out to Fade to shake her but the gnawing of the Prowler caused her to jump. "Hey, Fade. Knock it off. Come on, you're scaring me."

"I..I can't." Fade's crying was out of control and her emotions became exasperated by the Nightmare. "She won't hurt you. She wants me."

Neon's eyes widened, "What are you talking about? Why would your radiance attack you?" Neon watched the horrible scene in front of her with horror. Fade's entire stature turned from intimidating to timid. She looked like a scared little girl. "Neon, please. Leave. The Nightmare…it will just drag you down with me…I…"

Normally, Neon didn't need to be told twice but seeing Fade like this compelled her to at least make sure she was ok. "Fade…I.." Neon couldn't form a proper response to her situation. She wanted to get out of this room as quickly as possible but the wellbeing of her mental torturer mattered to her slightly. "C-come on, Fade. Do you need.. like…coffee? You drink a shit ton of that."

Fade shook her head, "I'll be ok. I just need a few minutes. Please. Before I hurt you again." Neon hesitated but decided that she couldn't help Fade even if she wanted to. Fade's threat…no, warning?...sent shivers down her spine which only encouraged her to bolt out of the room.

Sage had waited by the door to listen to the two and mediate if she needed since Neon held such a distrust against her. She saw Neon bolt away as soon as the door opened, "Neon! Wait!..I.." she sighed and walked in the check on Fade. She sat in front of her and tried to wake her from her stupor. Fade looked at Sage as soon as her hand wrapped around her shoulders. "I…I didn't mean…"

"I know, I know. Just calm down and rest." Sage rubbed Fade's shoulders soothingly. Fade fell back on the bed and curled in her bed. Sage let Fade go and instead rubbed a hand against her back. "You did so well. Thank you for this."

Fade sniffed and shook her head. "I didn't even do anything. I just lost control."

"You helped Neon understand I little. She'll come around." Sage retorted softly. Fade disagreed.

"She probably sees me as more of a freak than she did before."

A long silence aired between them. But Sage sat by her the entire time, waiting for Fade to say she was ok. She broke the silence suddenly, "I'm sorry."

Fade shook her head. "You didn't do anything."

"You've been going through this all by yourself. You seemed so…i don't know. I just should have realized sooner." Sage admitted sadly.

"It's no one's fault but my own. My problems, not yours." Fade's tears had stopped at this point and Prowler nestled into the bed next to her.

"It doesn't mean you are alone."

"I'm sorry to disagree." Fade sat up on the bed and gave Sage an appreciative look. "Thank you for staying. But, seriously, if that happens again just stay away. I'll only drag you down with me."

Sage nodded and stood up from the bed. "Of course. I'll be sure to remember that" Sage walked over to the door as Fade lay down on her back. Sage went for the door controls but before switching them she turned her head, "If you ever need to talk…" Fade gave her a curious look. "...I'd be happy to listen." Sage hit the door switch and the door closed behind her, leaving Fade alone in her room once again.

Chapter Text

Today was going to be a peculiar one, Fade had thought. Her monthly checkup was tomorrow and she hadn't made any significant changes to her diet whatsoever. She still found it easier to just ignore the overwhelming atmosphere and the snood remarks by just going to the vending machines. At least they dispensed water to fill that check box. However, Sage would still notice something wrong and Fade did not want to deal with that at all. Who knows what Sage would get her to do? Even though she's been amazingly discreet about the last incident with Neon, to which the latter was not as discreet to Fade's dismay, Sage had a tendency to be a…well, a worry wart about Valorant's health. Which is her job, of course, but Fade really didn't want to deal with it. She already knew she was on thin ice with her mental health being exposed. Fade's main concern is getting kicked out because of it. There would go all of her leads to find…him.

So today, Fade needs to get herself food even if it means dealing with…everyone. The cafeteria was surprisingly empty which made Fade silently thank whoever was looking out for her today. She grabbed as much food and made a pot of coffee for everyone since today's batch hadn't been made yet.

It seemed whoever was looking out for Fade had a sick sense of humor because the cafeteria doors opened to Phoenix, Jett and Reyna walking in just as she was heading for the door.

Reyna's venomous look told Fade exactly how this was going to go down. "Hungry, Fade?" The anger in her name spiked Fade's own fear slightly. She flinches.

Jett crossed her arms as the three blocked the exit to confront the blackmailer. "Or have you come to threaten us again like you did Phoenix?"

Phoenix gave her an intense look causing Fade to sputter an apology. "I..I didn't mean….I was angry, Phoenix. I'm sorry I let it out on you, I just…"

"Save it." Phoenix interrupted her. "Whatever tales you wanna spin you can shove up your ass."

Fade flinched again and couldn't look in their eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I just want to go to my room now and I'll leave you all alone."

Jett scoffed, "You'll never leave us alone." She walked up to Fade and shoved her in the shoulder, slightly pushing her back. "You sit in your room doing what? Scheming? Fishing for information? What else can your power do?"

"I-I'm not doing anything…I swear. I just wanted some food."

Reyna started laughing, "aww, she's trembling. The 'Nightmare' cowers in fear?" Reyna walked past Fade and into the cafeteria. "Enjoy your meal, hermanita. Perhaps it will be your last." Reyna's veiled threat sent shivers down Fade's spine. Jett's shoulder bumped Fade out of her way and walked into the cafeteria behind Reyna.

Phoenix just glared at her as Fade walked past. "I'm sorry." Fade had said before fully making it past him. Fade didn’t know why this mattered at all to her but their words stung. She didn't need them. She shouldn't care. These high-school problems made her feel juvenile and weak. Her breathing hitched slightly and she realized it had become sporadic again. Grabbing a pill from her bottle, she popped one into her mouth and hoped it would work. A few minutes of intense breathing and her mind calmed slightly.

By the time she got to the room she felt like sulking the day away but at the same time she was sick of being cooped up in her room all the time. It was the only place she could relax and feel safe. It dawned on her that she should hate Valorant. Since the day she arrived it had been nothing but distrust and hatred towards her. She can't eat properly, she can't talk to anyone and she can't even walk the damn hallways without feeling threatened or burdened. Half of the people here would prefer her dead, her included.

Despite this, after everything she had done to them she felt an obligation to make it up and atone for her mistake. Guilt truly ruined her. To make it all worse, she inwardly, somewhere, sees a future with Valorant. One that she would like to secure for some ungodly reason why. Her one problem is she's never been capable of 'playing nice' with others. Even when she felt she understood her powers or her place with them. There was always something she was unprepared for.

Fade entered her room, lights off, mood lighting, Prowler running around free again. The same old routine day in and day out. This time she had food which was, at the very least, different. Her confrontation with the Duelist made her appetite waver and she didn't feel as inclined to eat as much as before. However, the threat of Sage getting on her case forced herself to just eat all of what she grabbed. Not that it was too hard to do considering how long it had been since she hadn't just eaten protein bars.

Prowler laid on the bed with Fade as she practically stuffed herself. Fade hadn't realized just how hungry she truly was. The next thing Fade knew the plate was empty of her food. She berated herself at not getting more and sighed at realizing that going outside meant facing another confrontation. Not willing to put herself through another bout, Fade settled into her routine of entertaining Prowler for a few hours. This time she would do Prowler's favorite. Summoning a wand in her hand and a small tether attached to it, Fade looked at Prowler expectantly. "What do you want to chase this time?" Fade attached a ball, then a worm and finally a mouse. Prowler purred excitedly at which caused Fade to pick that one.

An hour in, Fade laughed at the Prowler's antics of chase as she stumbled and rolled around at the mouse. Fade became startled at the abrupt knock at her door. Who could possibly want anything from me? Fade thought to herself. Prowler begged for her to open the door by bumping her hand excitedly. Fade groaned but conceded as she walked over to the door.

The smiling face of Sage greeted her as the door swished open. "Good evening, Fade. I hope you are having a lovely day."

Fade looked at her curiously, "Hey, Sage. It's been ok, I guess. What brings you here?"

"Well I just wanted to remind you of your monthly checkup tomorrow." Sage peered into her room to see Prowler licking at a circular object which she assumed was a plate. It was difficult with the dark mood lighting. "I see you've eaten today?"

Fade nodded, "Ya. For all the trouble it was worth." Fade mumbled the last part.

Sage gave her a concerned look, "Trouble?"

Fade shook her head and waved her question off. "Oh, nevermind. It's nothing. I'm just speaking nonsense."

Sage held her gaze momentarily as Fade's body language clearly showed her she wasn't being entirely truthful. Fade rubbed her arm and transferred her weight from both legs to her right leg. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Fade looked at the floor dejected, trying to come up with a way to avoid this. "I…I don't want it to be a whole thing. It's nothing, really."

Sage smiled sweetly at her, "Fade, your feelings matter. We don't have to make it a whole thing or anything you don't want to. But I am here to listen if you want to get something off your chest."

Fade bit her lip in debate. She considered if Sage would still do anything about what she told her, she was always a fixer and she didn't want her to force a solution with everyone. But Fade knew that Sage would respect her if she said no. Plus talking to Sage, hell to anyone, was a better change of pace than sitting in her room with Prowler again.

Fade finally turned her body to let Sage in who happily walked into her dark room without hesitation. "Oh, sorry." Fade flicked on her lights to give Sage some comfort. "Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I don't mind the dark. It's your room, Fade. If you want the lights off then do what's comfortable." Sage looked around the room as if she was examining the decor. Prowler was lying on the floor chewing her toy, completely oblivious to Sage. "I think the mood lighting really brings out the look."

Fade smiled at Sage's attempt to make her feel better. She switched the lights off once again and moved to sit on her bed. "I don't really have anywhere to sit so you can just sit on the end of the bed."

Sage nodded, sat down, crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knees while looking at Fade expectantly. "So, what's been bothering you?"

Fade immediately felt like this was a bad idea and she didn't even know where to start. She felt so silly talking about her feelings this way. It felt like taddeling on school children. Just as she thought of her next words her face heated up in embarrassment and nervousness. "Well….I…" Fade began but kept stopping herself. Why was this so hard. "Everyone wants me dead or gone." What a great start Fade. Fade silently berated herself at how cringy she sounded. Like a kid begging for everyone to like them. Sage didn't make a noticeable reaction to her statement and instead waited for her to elaborate further.

Fade's mind raced for something coherent to say while the silence in the room felt constricting. "I…I mean…." Fade fiddled with her fingers in anxiousness. "I don't feel…" I don't feel what? Fade questioned herself. What's the stupid wordI'mlooking for? Sage just patiently waited for her and it was killing her. "...umm…safe? Relaxed? Uh…"

Finally, Sage offered assistance to Fade's complete failure to formulate thoughts, "Secure, perhaps?" Fade nodded in confirmation to the word.

"I can't even get food." Fade's face showed agitation across it. "I stay cooped up in here for most hours of the day." Fade shook her head as if she was disagreeing with something. "I mean I don't have to be liked. I'm not needy or anything and I realize I messed up." Fade continued to think to herself silently as if she was trying to organize her thoughts. Sage patiently waited for her to finish working through her process. Fade finally sighed and just said. "I don't know. I'm just being stupid." She crossed her arms defensively and frustratingly while staring at the floor.

"I don't think you are." Sage responded.

Fade's brows furrowed in annoyance, "Well maybe you're wrong." Fade stopped herself from continuing as she became aware of how aggressive she sounded. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

Sage continued to smile at her, "So you don't think you're stupid?"

Fade looked away embarrassed, her arms still crossed but her hands started rubbing her biceps. "No. M-maybe. I don't know."

Sage made a mental note of Fade's self-esteem which seemed to not help with her uneasy transition into Valorant. "What seemed to bother you today? You mentioned you had some trouble getting food?"

Fade nervously twitched at the question, "I don't want this to become a thing…"

Sage interrupted her, "I swear to you, I will do nothing that you don't want me to. This is about you, what's bothering you."

Fade sighed and finally found the ability to endure the heat of embarrassment. "When I got food today, I was just harassed again. Reyna threatened me, Jett accused me and Phoenix was ready to fight me." Fade couldn't look at Sage as she spoke so she wasn't sure how she reacted. "It's whatever, I pissed Phoenix off like 2 weeks ago and they're defending him. I deserved it." Fade was talking on auto pilot and she couldn't quite understand why she was so defensive for them. "I just wish that the one time I decide to get food I wouldn't deal with something. Not even once a month." Fade continued to stare at the floor as her frustration grew slightly.

"You've only eaten once this month?" Sage asked. Fade's eyes widened at the question as she realized that she just confessed to not eating properly. "Fade, you can't keep doing this. I know you don't want me to do anything but maybe I can arrange for food to be delivered to your room?"

"I don't want special treatment!" Fade's anger flared suddenly as Prowler growled to the side of her. "I'm not a child and I won't be treated like one!" Fade stood up suddenly and paced around her room throwing her arms around as she talked. "I don't need any of you. Why does it fucking matter how I am?I'mjust some bitch with creepy powers and a mind devouring pet." Sage remained patient but grew worried at Prowler's stalking of Fade as she was going on her tangent. "Ive been alone for years! So what if this little fucking club never forgives me. I don't care! That didn't stop me when Neon rejected me, that didn't stop me when my parents rejected me and it won't stop me now dammit! No one I love will ever accept me so fuck them all!" Fade punched her wall in anger and Prowler pounced as the loud metallic sound rang around the room. A guttural scream released from Fade's mouth as the Nightmare began seeping from her being. Fade's vision collapsed and the Nightmare devoured her as she lost consciousness soon after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fade woke up to a bright room with a heart monitor. Her eyes slowly opened with a migraine piercing her head. This wasn't her room. Which means…. Fade jumped up in shock. Quickly looking around for Sage who wasn't anywhere in sight. Fade ignored all of the wires hooked up to her and ripped them off to go find Sage. As soon as she opened the door, Sage and Neon were in the middle of a conversation before they both turned to look at Fade with concern. Why Neon of all people?

Fade ignored the spike of anxiety and hurriedly asked Sage. "Please tell me I didn't hurt you." Neon looked at her confused and back at Sage. Sage had a guilty look on her face.

Sage then held a sympathetic gaze toward Fade. "I'm ok. It wasn't bad. I've faced my fear before."

Fade's brows furrowed in frustration. "No! You were supposed to leave! Why did you stay?" Tears began to swell up in Fade's eyes as she held an angry expression towards Sage. Neon's expression turned from worried to shocked as she had never seen such vulnerability from the blackmailer. For Fade, to turn the worst of her power onto one of the only people that at least pretended to care about her tore apart her heart. "You were supposed to leave me!" Fade's anger slowly turned to messy sobs as her shoulder shook. Fade held her hands in her face. "You're supposed to get away from me. I told you that!" Prowler again appeared and began circling her head. Skulking for another meal.

Sage held her hands on Fade's shoulder and spoke softly in Fade's ear, unafraid of the Prowler's presence. "I know you told me, but I can't sit by while one of my friends suffers. I'm not mad at you. I'm not scared of you, ok?" Fade continued to sob in her hands. Sage looked to Neon who she could tell was worried about the Prowler, but it was more worrying that the Prowler looked like it was about to attack Fade again. Sage turned back to Fade and whispered. "Fade, your Prowler's out. You don't want to scare Neon again, right?" Neon was confused as to why Fade would care about that at all at this moment. "You have her very worried."

But that made Fade halt for a second. She hadn't even noticed the Prowler was attacking her. Fade took her hands away from her face and sniffed before shaking her head. Her eyes never leaving the ground. Fade tried to seal in the Prowler but she was too weak to control it. Fade's breath was inconsistent and heavy and her eyes were tired, Sage understood the issue and asked Neon with a pleading look to go grab a cup of coffee. Neon looked at her confused and hesitantly nodded her head and bolted away. "Extra sugar, Neon!"

Fade breathed heavily as Sage held her up by her shoulders. "I'm sorry." Fade sniffed up the last of her tears and silently berated herself for her childish antics.

"Stop that. No apology is needed." Sage immediately interrupted Fade's train of thought.

After a solid minute of just sitting there in silence and Sage rubbing Fade's back, Neon was back with a full cup of coffee and handed it to Sage. Neon backed away after handing it off to get a little distance from Prowler. Sage took the coffee and, to Neon's Surprise, swatted the Prowler away who didn't so much as snap at her. After being given the coffee, Fade drank as much as she could in one gulp. Neon cringed at the action as she knew that it was a scolding hot and fresh cup of coffee.

Fade immediately pulled the Prowler back into her and stood up. Fade turned towards Neon but couldn't look at her directly and instead wondered her eyes as she spoke. "I'm sorry for scaring you. Again." Fade fiddled with her hands shyly as she awaited her response. Expecting to hear another insult. 'Why did I have to break down in front of her? I'm such an idiot.'

When Neon didn't say anything immediately Fade spoke up again before she could. "I'm going to go to my room. It's probably better if I'm not around right now." Before Sage or Neon could say anything, Fade hurriedly walked away before turning the corner to full on sprint away. She ignored Sage's plea as she ran.

Chapter Text

"Wait, Fade…" Sage yelled as the blackmailer hurried around the corner and out of sight, leaving Neon and Sage to stand outside of the medical office. Sage sighed as she let Fade go without much more resistance. She turned towards Neon who had a face of confusion on her. "Thank you for your help." Sage smiled at her. "I don't know what compelled you to check in on her but I'm glad you did and I'm sure Fade will appreciate it as well."

Neon didn't really know what compelled her but after she heard the screams from her room last night she immediately ran to find out what the commotion was:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She saw Fade's door oozing trails of smoke from her room as well as faint groaning and grunting. Fade's in trouble. Neon banged on the door loudly. "Fade? Is everything ok in there?" Neon became really confused when a worried looking Sage opened the door. "Sage? What is going on?"

She turned to Neon and gave her an intense expression. "Listen very carefully. No matter what happens, you do not come in after me. Ok?"

Neon's brows furrowed. "Wait, what do you mean? What are you doing?"

Sage's expression hardened. "Fade's losing control again and her Nightmare is…well it's hurting her. I'm going to help her."

"I'm not going to just leave you. What happens if she…"

"Neon, can you look at Fade in the eye and forgive her?"

Neon was unprepared for the question, "What?"

If you come in here, you'll be taken into a Nightmare again. Could you forgive her for that?"

Neon's contemplation of her answer gave Sage all she needed. "That is why you cannot come. No matter what happens I am willing to forgive her for everything." Sage waited for Neon to acknowledge her words. Despite all her hesitation, Neon eventually nodded her understanding.

Sage unlocked the door to Fade's room and inside was an amalgamation of all the horrible abilities Fade had to offer. Neon sat wide eyed at how dark and dreary it was. Fade lay on the ground in the fetal position and shaking. Tears slowly leaked from her eyes and her teeth gritted in pain. Her Prowler was feeding off of her the same way it fed off of the strike team. The Nightmare was consuming her. Sage ran next to Fade and kneeled before her, laying one hand on her side and the other on her forehead. "Fade, if you can hear me then I need you to follow my voice."

The spark of fear in Sage came from her worry for Fade but Prowler saw it the same either way. Prowler turned her attention onto Sage and struck her. The Prowler attached to Sage's psyche and used her powers to lend strength to herself. The Nightmare surrounded Sage as she began her groaning and grunting against the hostile force.

Neon watched in horror as her mentor was sucked into Fade's Nightmare. Every urge told her to pull Sage out and leave Fade behind but the words of Sage echoed in her head. I'm not going to let her suffer alone. Neon cursed herself as she felt a pang of guilt for how Fade had been dealing with this part of herself alone until she found Valorant. I am willing to forgive her. Neon felt another pang of guilt again. But she doesn't know why. How could she forgive Fade so easily? How could she be ok with what she did? It still haunts her to this day.

Regardless, the message was clear. If Neon wanted to help then she had to accept that she might get sucked back into the nightmare and she will have to be ready to forgive whatever happens. Neon wasn't ready for that, so she had to wait. But she had to do something…Neon bolted off towards the medical office.

Sage wasn't a stranger to her fear, she had spent her entire life facing it and overcoming it. The Nightmare was no match for her will and quickly she countered through the Nightmare to wherever the other side of this was.

Sage was sucked into a vision? Or a memory? She couldn't be sure. The environment looked familiar. Istanbul. Fade's home. Sage walked forward along the streets. The city felt vacant and lonely. She heard a child crying from down the road and around the corner. Soon Sage sped towards the noise. When she stopped short of the building wall she could see a PÖH truck with sirens blaring from an apartment building. The officers were handling a little girl who was thrashing in their arms and crying out while an adult woman watched from the apartment doorway.

The little girl had a familiar black smoke form from her as well as a pesky little Prowler shooting out towards the woman observing. Sage's turkish was a little not practiced at all but it sounded like the girl was crying out for her mother judging by the girl reaching for the adult women and yelling the same foreign word. The officers pulled the girl into the truck and slammed it shut, muffling the girl's screams. Sage inwardly cringed at the sight as this was the norm for many Radiants after First Light.

The world around her shifted and warped as the setting soon changed to a familiar looking local. She was inside the secret island base for Valorant and Fade was standing ashamed in the middle of the room. Several Valorant agents stood before her with Brimstone being the first to talk. "I'm sorry Fade but we can't keep you around. You're too dangerous and honestly more trouble than your worth"

Neon was the next to speak. "You're a monster, a fucking poison. I'll never love you."

Cypher gave a heavy sigh. "Well at least I don't have to entertain you with chess anymore. It was so tedious."

Sage was taken aback by all the harshness towards Fade. No one thought these things, not even Neon was this crass and she's vented her problems fully to her. But what was that last thing Neon said to her? Oh…. This must be Fade's fears. They're getting eaten alive. Fade trembled at hearing each phrase. Sage could see the same panic she felt in her office as Fade begged them to not do this. "N-no, no, no. P-please I'm doing better. I-I s-swear." Fade pleaded towards someone to her right and Sage saw that it was…her.

The Nightmare Sage gave a scowl to the girl, "You are a threat to all that we do here. You don't belong anywhere in this world. Not even here."

Sage was shocked at hearing her own voice sound so venomous. Oh Fade. Fade fell to her knees and her shoulders bounced to a silent crying. The sobbing only got louder as the room became quieter. Sage ran over to Fade who had her head in her hands.

Sage wrapped her arms around her and softly spoke in her ear. "Fade, it's me Sage. The real Sage." Fade looked up with tears in her eyes in shock.

"S-Sage?"

Sage squeezed her tightly. "You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Never forget that."

Fade's eyes gained a renewed vigor in producing tears as Fade jumped at Sage in a tight, breathtaking hug. Sage hugged her back as Fade cried into her shoulder. Rubbing her back, Sage spoke softly with encouraging words to soothe her out of her Nightmare. Fade hates these emotions. Yet they are so powerful. How long has she hid them from people?

The world began to warp and the darkness subsided as Sage awoke on the floor inside Fade's room laying next to Fade who was still passed out. The Nightmare had subsided within Fade. Neon flicked the lightswitch on and ran to Sage. "You did it! Are you alright?"

Sage rubbed her temple as she looked up at Neon. "Yes, I am uninjured." Neon helped Sage up and pointed to the door.

"I grabbed a gurney for Fade if we needed to move her... oh and I grabbed some more coffee for her." Neon was still a bit anxious about what just happened and her adrenaline was still kicking in.

Sage smiled at Neon gratefully. "Thank you Neon, help me lift her up." The two radiants hoisted Fade onto the gurney.

Neon noticed the tear stains along Fade's cheek as well as the scrunching of her face every now and then. "What happened?"

Sage almost thought about telling Neon the whole scenario but protecting Fade's privacy was more important. "Her powers are just as scary to her as they are to you." Sage began pushing Fade towards the medical ward.

Neon felt another pang of guilt and she was getting tired of it. Neon stared at the ground in thought. "Is she going to be ok?"

Sage gave Neon a side glance and smirked at the question. "She should be ok. But she'll be a bit rattled when she wakes up."

Neon bit her inner cheek and decided to stick by Fade a little longer. She didn’t know why she particularly decided to but she felt bad about leaving Fade.

Neon turned to Sage again after collecting her thoughts. "Is there anything else we can do for her?"

Sage shook her head. "Fade's been hesitant about what she does and doesn't share with us and she needs time to herself. Based on what I saw in that Nightmare I don't think she'll want to talk to anyone for a while."

"That bad?" Neon asked curiously.

"Worse than that." Sage spoke evenly.

Neon chewed the inside of her cheek at her response. Feeling conflicted, confused and most of all: guilty, Neon couldn't stop feeling guilty. "She's going to be underweight again this month too." Sage continued. It was a surprise to Neon that Fade wasn't eating. "She only ate once this month. I need to figure out how to get her food, she won't be battle ready if this keeps up."

Neon remembered her reasons, she was always being harassed. Back then Neon had snickered at the thought. Fade getting harassed was a joke to her before. But now, it made her feel sick to think Fade was struggling this much to even get food that she would rather starve herself than talk to anyone. Neon knew the kinds of things people said about her; Monster, witch, freak. To think she laughed at the obvious bullying made her feel worse. Even though she wasn't ready to forgive Fade for what she did, Fade was definitely trying to let bygones be bygones. She asked her to hang out and Neon full on rejected any idea for it. She's tried striking up conversations with Killjoy and Raze about their tech only to be shut down by both of them. Fade made a mistake but did Neon think she deserves….this? Neon looked at Fade as she struggled to sleep on the gurney and furrowed her brows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sage's statement reiterated in her head as Sage waited for to respond.

"I'm not ready to forgive her yet." Sage raised an eyebrow at her in interest. "But…I think I want to be ready." Sage smiled at her and looked back towards the hall.

Chapter Text

After the morning with Fade and Sage had ended, Neon went back to her daily routine of lounging, training and eating. However, today she will be taking a detour. Sage had been looking for a way to help Fade with her eating and it wasn't going to be easy as Fade stubbornly refuses to be helped. Neon snickered at the familiarity when Sage told her that. Buuuut, Neon thought, if Fade didn’t know where the food was coming from then she wouldn't have room to complain.

Walking through the doors of the cafeteria she saw Jett, Phoenix and Yoru all chatting to each other at a table in the middle of the room. Skye and Killjoy were sitting at a table near the left side and Cyper and Chamber were at a table in the corner of the room on the far right side. Neon waved back at the three in the middle as Jett waved her down. Neon headed for the cafeteria line to get her food ready.

She grabbed a medium sized plate and made sure to get all the ingredients for her childhood favorite adobo. Neon wasn't too sure of Fade's preferences or if she even requested a specific food item to be served so she had to just start somewhere and figure it out slowly. She wasn't sure Fade would enjoy it, but it was a start. Chicken, rice, garlic pepper, spicy sauce and some additional seasonings. Next she grabbed coffee. Fade loves caffeine, right? Neon remembered Fade saying something about needing it and Sage insisted on that one coffee having extra sugar. Not something she would enjoy personally but if Fade loves it…

Neon's process was interrupted by a loud windy swish from behind her "Hey, Neon. What are you doing?" Jett nearly jumped on Neon's back to peer over her shoulder. Neon may have been the shortest of Valorant but Jett wasn't far behind her.

"I'm just loading up on food." Neon said vaguely enough to not give much detail. She supposed Jett was suspicious as to why she was taking so long.

Jett hummed in response before looking at her coffee."That's a lot of sugar. Isn't that bad for your powers?"

Neon stuttered a bit at the question. Damn, this girl knows me too well. "Oh..I…it's for someone else…"

"Really? Who? Why don't they just come get it themselves and sit with us?" Jett offered and got a little too close to Neon's face in excitement. Neon was trying to think of a good lie that technically wasn't a lie but also wouldn't say too much because she was unsure how Jett would take her being around Fade. She tapped her plate nervously as a valid answer never came to mind.

"Ay, leave the powerhouse alone. Ya, Jett? You're tearing through her with questions." Phoenix shouted from the table. "Yoru and I are gonna play some cards you comin', bruv?"

Jett groaned. "Ugh, ya I'm coming!" Jett lightly punched Neon's arm "We'll talk about this later. Hurry up and join us!" Jett dashed off towards Yoru and Phoenix.

Neon sighed in silent thanks at the hotshot agent saving her from that conversation. The three walked out of the cafeteria and out of sight. Neon got the last finishing touches on her food and headed towards Fade's dorm. Thankfully the dorms were on the opposite side of the cafeteria in relation to the lounging area where the three duelists headed off too. The dorms were quiet as no one would be in this section of the base at this hour…almost no one. As she got closer to Fade's room she could hear a thudding against her wall periodically. Worried something happened again, she listened in by pressing her ear up on the door. The still muffled thud was followed by a soft purr noise. The voice of Fade saying "Good girl" assured Neon everything was ok.

She set the tray down and knocked on the door. A loud yelp noise was heard from the other side as well as a faint growl. Not wanting to get spotted, and least of all by that… thing, Neon sprinted around the corner and waited for the door to open. Frustratingly, the door remained closed after waiting a few minutes. Impatiently, Neon sprinted to the door, bashed on it loudly with her closed fist 3 times and sprinted around the corner and peaked again

The door swished open and a loud "What!" from Fade was heard, Neon giggles slightly but stopped herself when Fade picked up the tray and looked down either hallway. The Prowler sniffed around the floor by the tray as if it was tracking someone. Neon became anxious and suddenly the Prowler looked intensely down the hall. Neon immediately jumped back to hide herself fully behind the wall. "Prowler, no." Neon heard a sharp snapping noise. "It's probably just Sage being Sage." Fade shouted loudly down the hall, "Even though I said I don't want her help!" Neon snickered slightly but muffled the noise with her hand over her mouth. A loud growl emanated from Fade's stomach, causing her to groan and shut her door abruptly. As Fade's door swished shut, Neon headed towards the other duelists and their card game.

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Fade was not amused. Three days. Three consecutive days of food being left outside her door at dinner time on the dot. She had enough and marched to Sage's office in a tiz. Fade got to the metal door and she heard Sage's voice as she talked to someone. Without much willingness to care at the moment, she knocked on the door firmly and the voices halted. The door opened and Sage stood with a smile. "Ah, Fade. How are you today?" Fade looked behind Sage and saw Jett sitting in a chair and rubbing her leg. Jett's expression turned agitated as she herself finally noticed Fade in the doorway. Sage saw Fade looking at Jett and turned with a smile to her. "Well, I think that's all I needed for today. Remember to stretch before racing other agents from now on, ok?"

Jett's expression turned wide eyed as embarrassment flooded her cheeks. "Don't say that in front of her!" Jett held on to the R sound longer as she whined to Sage about revealing her medical issue. Jett got up, walked to the door and slithered past Fade. "Out of my way."

Fade didn’t give her a second look and just glared at Sage. Sage noticed the glare and furrowed her eyebrows in worry. "Is something wrong, Fade?"

Fade shifted her weight and put her hand on her right hip. "I thought I told you to not treat me like a child." Sage's expression changed to more confused than before.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen you in three days." Sage genuinely said.

"Don't give me that! Why is there food left outside my door every day now?" Sage thought about it and couldn't figure out as to why there would be food outside her door.

Sage shrugged, "I swear it's not me that's doing that. I wish I even had the time to do that for you."

Fade scoffed, "Fine, you're not doing it. Stop getting whoever to do it!"

Sage tried to be as sympathetic as possible and tried to tell her genuinely, "Fade, you told me not to do that and I respect your boundaries. I swear to you that I have made no arrangements for food to be delivered to your room per your request and against my insistence. I wouldn't go behind your back like that, I promise."

Fade's anger simmered and she faltered in her confidence, now believing she had been wrong. "I…I believe you. But why would anyone other than you leave food outside my door for the last 3 days? You're the only one who cares about me."

Sage hummed in thought, she then had a realization at who definitely has been doing it but she didn't want to reveal it to her if they didn't want to be discovered. "There are others who care for you, Fade. Perhaps you have undervalued your worth?"

Fade laughed at the idea, "Right,I'm just getting lucky this week. Sure. Maybe I should buy a lotto ticket."

Sage rolled her eyes at Fade's dramatics, "Have you asked Cypher? He enjoys your company too. Maybe he's responsible."

"I doubt it, Cypher enjoys having a chess partner but it's not really his thing to do something like that." Fade dismissed.

Sage shrugged, "Worth a try right?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jett left the medical room and sauntered down the hall. Fade makes her skin crawl but the fact that Brimstone and Sage allow her to stay makes her blood boil. She's probably fucking with their minds. Jett thought. Before she got too far, she could hear Fade start her harsh questioning on Sage. "I thought I told you not to treat me like a child."

Jett looked behind her in interest, choosing to eavesdrop on the conversation. Fade being aggressive to Sage set off alarm bells in her head and she wanted to be around just in case. Plus an excuse to scare Fade a little was something worth staying around for.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen you in three days."

"Don't give me that!" Jett tightened her grip on her Kunai. "Why is there food left outside of my door every day now?"

Jett's concentration faltered momentarily. What did she say?

Sage audibly hummed. "I swear it's not me that's doing that. I wish I even had the time to do that for you."

It couldn't be…there was no way.

Fade scoffed, "Fine, you're not doing it. Stop getting whoever to do it!"

Jett heard enough and marched to the lounging area to find a certain blue haired agent. Why was she helping her? There's gotta be an explanation for this. Maybe she's poisoning her…multiple times. Jett groaned at how unlikely that was. What the fuck, Neon?"

Jett opened the door as the lively atmosphere of the day's end was at its peak. Raze and Killjoy were working on something else that will probably rob her of her money again. Yoru was in the training arena practicing with Skye and Breach while Viper, Chamber and Brimstone observed from the tower. Probably a mission they are preparing for. Cypher was teaching Phoenix what looked like very basic chess to which Phoenix either intentionally broke the rules or just didn't have the patience to remember. Both were equally likely. Neon was nowhere to be found initially.

Killjoy waved Jett down from across the room, "Ooh. Jett, Wunderbar! Could you come test something that Raze and I are working on? It's a specialized sensor with magnified lenses to detect quick…."

Jet interrupted her, "Not now, KJ. Have you seen Neon?"

Raze looked disappointed by her rejection but answered her, "Sova pulled her away for something. Probably training for a mission or something, that's why we couldn't get her to test our device. Come oooon, amiga. I'll buy drinks for the next girls night?"

"I need to talk to Neon first and then I'll test your toy."

Killjoy looked offended, "Hey."

Raze slapped Killjoy in the arm, "Deal! They're in the meeting room right now."

Killjoy slapped Raze back, "Don't you slap me!"

"Watch it! I just got us a test subject."

Jett let the two continue their antics and walked to the meeting room. As Raze said, Sova and Neon were hunched over a table looking at, what Jett assumed, was a city map based on all the lines. Jett entered the room and the two looked up from the table at hearing the door swish open. Jett glared at Neon. Sova greeted the windcaller, "Jett, how can we help you?" Neon grew slightly uncomfortable at how Jett was looking at her.

"I just need Neon for a few minutes." Neon looked at her confused. Sova looked back at Neon and then to Jett, sensing some sort of tension in the room even when Neon seemed oblivious to it.

Sova rolled up the map and offered his leave, "I think I'll grab some coffee for us. Want anything in it?" He asked Neon. Neon side glances Sova to say no and returned her stare to Jett. Sova walked out of the room and the door shut behind him.

"So…what's…" Jett interrupted her immediately.

"You're bringing that bitch food?" Neon's expression was shocked at being called out but she quickly returned to an even stare.

"Ya, I am. She hasn't been eating." Neon responded coolly. Jett's glare grew more frustrated.

"So what?" Jett's voice wavered into a tiny laugh as she spoke and recomposed her serious tone, "She can feed herself! Are you her little caretaker now? Is Sage making you do it?"

Neon's expression didn't change. "No, I'm doing it because I want to."

Jett scoffed and threw her hands up, "Why?! After everything she's done to us, all of a sudden you want to help her? Help me understand. Because I can only assume she's manipulating you."

Neon shrugged, causing Jett to turn away from her in frustration. "Don't you think she's suffered enough?"

"No! Actually. I think she hasn't even dented the bill." Jett continued staring at the wall. "She doesn't get to come in here and pretend it's all fine. It isn't. She deserves everything coming to her."

Neon sighed at Jett's exclamation, she couldn't blame her. She empathized with her just a week ago after all. "I haven't forgiven her either.I'mstill pissed and scared and hurt by what she did." Neon stared at the table as she tried to properly say what she felt. "I know what she did was inexcusable and she had no right to do what she did, and she doesn't have the right to ask us to just forget about it."

"If you still feel that way then why are you being nice to her? Why are you treating her like she's part of the team?" Neon didn't look up from the table so she didn't see Jett turn towards her.

"Well one, I don't remember Fade ever asking us to forget what happened. And two, whether we like it or not she's part of the team." Neon looked up at her and stared her down. "Jett, Fade's been starving herself to avoid us because we give her shit constantly. She sits in her room all day,every day to avoid us. She could not be less intrusive to us if she tried, she'll kill herself by the time that happens."

"Good!" Jett yelled. Neon's expression became shocked at how blatantly Jett didn't care about the information she gave. There was a long silence between them that was deafening. Neon looked away from Jett, unable to look her in the eye.

"Jett…I.."

"No, helping her is a betrayal to all of us, to me!" Jett slammed her hands on the table loudly. Neon cringed and looked at her with wide eyes. She didn't like where this was going. "I've had your back ever since you joined Valorant and it hurts that you do this for her!"

"I just want to…"

"Its her or me." Jett shifted her weight on her right leg and crossed her arms.

"What?" Neon looked confused.

"You quit trying to make friends with that witch or you lose me as a friend and everyone else. You know how they all feel about her too."

"You can't be serious, Jett."

"I am." Jett's expression was unmoving and hardened. Neon's brows furrowed in annoyance as she realized Jett was giving her an ultimatum.

"I'm not going to let her suffer anymore." Neon said confidently and unregretfully. Jett's face had a shocked expression that quickly turned to anger as she stormed out of the room. Sova was leaning against the wall next to the door with two coffees that had lost their heat waves. Jett continued across the lounging area, ignoring the two engineers shouting for her.

Sova entered the meeting room to find a dejected Neon leaning on the table and looking at its surface. "Everything ok, Neon?" Neon seemed surprised at Sova's presence and glanced at him.

"Ya, it's…nothing. Just dumb drama." Neon shook her head and got back to their task. "So, back to the map?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fade got up early in the morning to hopefully catch Cypher before he inevitably became busy and get a game of chess with him. Thankfully, no one was in the lounging area at this time and Cypher was silently muttering to himself as he played chess. "Going crazy from outsmarting yourself?"

Cypher didn't flinch at the sudden intrusion and finished thinking through his move. After releasing the piece from his hand from the piece he greeted Fade. "Ah, my favorite chess partner. How are you this morning"

Fade sat down across from him, "I'm looking to talk and maybe play a game?"

Cypher opened his hand at the chess board, "Be my guest, the cat's not doing it for you anymore?"

Fade waved off his comment, "she's perfectly fine, thank you." Fade released the Prowler and allowed her to sit on her shoulders. "Not very good at chess, unfortunately."

"She'd be better than Phoenix, I assure you." They both shared a laugh as they set the board up. Fade loved these moments, she felt like she didn't have to suppress herself or hide. Cypher especially made her feel like she belonged. Sage's kindness was just as appreciated but it really felt like she gave her more attention then everyone else while Cypher just treated everyone the same. Even after what she did he never changed his demeanor with her as if she was already a part of the team like anyone else. The way he didn't treat her with special care made her feel special in a weird way.

"What's on your mind, Fade?" Cypher asked. "You seem distracted." Fade chuckled as 'distracted' was an understatement.

"It's been a stressful couple of weeks." Fade put her cheek into her palm and leaned on her elbow. "Someone's messing with me by putting food outside my door, you wouldn't know anything about that?"

"My dear, I know everything that goes on within these walls. That doesn't mean the information is free." Cypher wagged his finger as if to scold her.

Fade sighed at the reluctance of cooperation but she couldn't say she was surprised. "Can you just tell me if it's you?" Cypher laughed at the insinuation.

"No, I don't nearly have the time to be your personal butler."

Fade tapped her cheek lazily in thought as she planned her next move. "What do you want for the information?"

"Oh, unfortunately this isn't for sale. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

"I should have known you'd say that."

The two went back and forth in games of winning and losing. They laughed and gossiped about other agents which incidentally was one of the only ways Fade stayed in the loop of what was going on in Valorant. Being cooped up in a room everyday tended to keep her in the dark, pun intended.

A loud metal clang swiped through the air and Fade felt a sharp prick in her bicep. Fade yelled in pain as she saw a kunai sticking out of her arm. She grabbed around the kunai and squeezed to numb the agony slightly. Prowler jumped from Fade's shoulders and growled at the door to the lounge. Cypher jumped at the noise,"What the…?" He stood up and pulled a ghost from his side at the intruder. Jett came storming in towards Fade with an angry scowl on her face. Her pace was more of an angry march and she threw two more kunai at Prowler who yelped and dissipated.

"Prowler…" Fade said through gritted teeth. The pain in her arm was nearly unbearable.

"Jett! What do you think you're doing?" Cypher holstered his ghost and rushed to get in between Jett and Fade. Jett bumped into Cypher who threw his hand at her arm as she attempted to throw another one at Fade. He stopped her motion mid throw and the kunai flew to the other side of the room.

"I'm stopping her from ruining everything!" Jett struggled to wrest control of her arm from Cypher who had it in a death grip. His other hand on her left shoulder to push against her. "Stay away from her, you psychopath!"

Fade was bleeding seriously from her arm as she felt it numbing every second. "Who?" Fade worriedly said.

"Jett, if you don't stop right now I will use lethal force." Cypher had a taser in his belt next to his pistol that he could use in case this got nasty. Cypher wrapped his right arm around her head and twisted his body to be behind her. He slipped his left arm under her left arm pit to strengthen his control on her other arm while his right arm held her by her neck.

"Why do you all protect her!?" Jett's eyes began producing tears as her last kunai dropped to the ground. "She doesn't belong! She's a monster. This isn't fair!" Her body went limp and Cypher lowered them both to the ground. He loosened his grip on her and she started to sob. Cypher looked to Fade who was still in serious pain. Fade seemed to have forgotten about the kunai in her arm and looked at Jett apologetically.

"I…I don't know what…I'm…"

"Fade!" Cypher interrupted her. Her face winced in shock at being yelled at by Cypher. "You're bleeding. Go to Sage, right now." Cypher never spoke to anyone like this usually…but she supposed this isn't a usual scenario. Fade anxiously got up from the chair and hobbled to the door. After it opened, Fade glanced back at Cypher and Jett unsure if she should leave them. "Go!" Cypher yelled and Fade didn’t hesitate.

Chapter Text

Yesterday was a disaster. Jett was reprimanded for her behavior and was suspended from future missions until further notice. Fade insisted to Brimstone that it wasn't necessary and that it was her fault for what happened. Sage and Cypher both countered her plea so it fell on deaf ears. Fade's injuries would have been fatal. Jett had hit an artery in her arm which caused massive blood loss. Sage said she could have killed her. Fade didn’t care, the look of sadness and anger from Jett wasn't something she ever usually got from the wind caller. It sent a shiver down her spine. She said to leave her alone but Fade had no idea who she was talking about. Fade only ever talked to Sage but she kind of had to. The worst part is Phoenix gave her the most venomous looks she'd ever seen after the incident and most everyone else didn't seem to believe what happened. Neon, along with Sage, seemed to be the only one to give her a sympathetic look.

Of course, around dinner time that day another tray of food was left for her to eat. This time it had a note.

I'm sorry for what happened. I hope your arm is ok.

Fade was getting irritated by this mystery person but she had to admit that it felt nice being cared for.

Jett was designated to non-mission status which meant she spent her time training, chaperoning either Brimstone, Sage, Viper or Chamber and, in her case, therapy since Sage thought it would help.

Fade felt immense guilt for what happened to Jett. She never wanted to cause all this. Jett was sitting in the cafeteria by herself eating some sort of lunch today and Fade shivered nervously after realizing that this might be a bad idea. But if Jett wanted to hurt her Fade supposed this would be the time to let it all out. Walking over to her, Jett looked up to see Fade and her demeanor changed from relaxed to defensive. "What do you want? Revenge?" Jett's face showed she was scared and Fade had to force Prowler down to keep her from attacking

"Here, I want you to have this." Fade held out a cup of coffee to Jett. Fade had to cringe at herself once she realized the best she could do to befriend people who hated her was to offer coffee.

"What? No, I mean. No! Wait, why? Did you poison it? What's your game?" Jett's thoughts came as quickly as they went and it was almost too fast for Fade.

"Uh, no I didn't poison it." Why does everyone insist I'm about to kill them? "I just wanted to do something nice for you." Fade eyed the floor as she held it out.

Jett eyed her suspiciously and took the coffee. She smelt it and was shocked to see it was made how she liked it. "How did you know how I like my coffee? Are you reading our minds again?" Jett accused.

"What? N-no, I didn't-wouldn't do that! I just asked around so I got it right. That's all!"

"Oh ya? Who did you ask?" Jett challenged

"You're boy toy, obviously." Fade shrugged as if it was simple.

Jett's cheeks got beat red so quickly and she stammered on her next sentence. "T-thats not…. I don't k-know what your…shut up! You don't know anything!"

Fade frowned as she realized she may have struck a nerve, " I-I apologize. I didn't mean to…"

"No you did mean to. You know exactly what you do!" Jett threw the coffee on the ground next to Fade, splashing a bit on her. Fade cringed at her coffee being rejected. "Why don't you just leave us alone and fuck off!" Jett turned and stormed off toward the cafeteria exit. The doors opened before Jett got there with a Sova walking through. Jett shoulder bumped him out of the way and stormed past.

"Oh, excuse me." Sova said apologetically

Jett just grunted in response.

Sova wondered what her problem was but when he turned to look in the cafeteria he understood what the distress from Jett might have been from. Fade leaned down with some towels to clean up an apparent coffee spill. Sova walked over to help her clean it up but noticed the new agent was a bit distressed herself. "You know, we have cleaning bots for that."

Fade continued to clean up the spill. "I know. But it's my mess."

"Jett or the coffee?"

Fade halted for a second. Sova noticed she shook slightly. "The whole damn protocol."

Sova grabbed a towel and started to wipe up the coffee. He could tell Fade needed something to go right today. He didn't hold a grudge against her like everyone else, even if her powers unsettled him a little bit. He long separated the person that is Fade and the terrifying Nightmare that she holds.

"You shouldn't be dragged down with me. I can do this on my own." Fade stubbornly insisted.

Sova gave her a sympathetic look. "No one should have to do anything on their own. Especially in Valorant. We're all comrades."

"The others don't seem to think so."

"They will. I have forgiven you, after all" Sova gave a sympathetic smile.

"I can sense your unease around me." Fade challenged.

Sova shook his head. "Nyet, it is not you that makes me uneasy. It is what is within you."

"What's within me is me. I'm a monster." Fade had stopped scrubbing the floor at this point.

Sova took his and Fade's towels to the bins and walked back to offer his hand to her. Fade looked up at Sova's hand, unsure on if she should take it. Sova reassures her with a nod and he pulls her to her feet. "I've seen monsters. You are far from one." Sova lazily saluted to her and went to grab the food prepared for the day.

Fade felt a wave of shame wash over her. She'd tortured Sova and he was still here for her. "I'm sorry." Fade blurted suddenly. Sova turned his head with a curious look while filling the rest of his plate. "I never said it out loud…or to you." Fade fiddled with her fingers and stared at the ground. "Istanbul.. I. "

"You've no need for such apologies." Fade looked up at Sova who walked back to her with two plates of food. "If I had been on the other end, I would have given them hell." Sova handed the plate to her. Fade took the plate with a gracious look. "Come sit with me awhile? A good meal is only better with those to share it with." Sova sat down on a nearby table. Fade hesitated at first, knowing that if she stayed there was a possibility other agents would show up.

"I..I don't know. I don't want to bother the others."

"You mean you don't want to feel their fear?" Sova took the words right out of her mouth.

"Y-ya." Fade looked away in shame.

"No worries. I don't understand what it must feel to have your abilities. You must do what's best for you." Sova sympathetically assured.

Fade nodded her head in thanks but felt guilty about leaving Sova there alone. After he got her…this…food.. "Wait, Sova, are you the one leaving food outside my room?"

Sova looked confused at the question. "I wouldn't have the time for that. Is someone pulling pranks on you now?"

"N-no, no. I just…never mind. Thank you for today." Fade turned away and headed for her room again before she could see the lazy wave of Sova.

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Fade lazily played with her Prowler, dancing it on her arm to entertain it while she waited for her coffee to fill. The base was half empty today as a handful of agents were sent on a mission.

Neon, Skye, Cypher, Yoru and Breach were all doing an incursion in Spain. Another Kingdom facility ripe with Radianite. Which could only mean the Mirrorverse. Fade had often wondered if her counterpart was put there, a potential enemy. What she could do to everyone in Valorant, what she would do. Fade was cracking the styrofoam cup slightly too hard and a piece of the coffee spilled onto her. "Son of bitch."

Fade leaned over to grab some napkins to wipe off her pants and jacket. A loud alarm alert rang out around her and a bright red light caused her to jump at the noise. "Ugh, not today."

Fade finished wiping herself off and chugged what coffee was left in the cup. Sprinting out of the cafeteria doorway, she tossed the cup into the bin. The alarm continued for another 2 minutes before someone finally shut the damn thing off.

As Fade walked through the base, she had never felt it so….queit. The feelings of people around ceased. It was calming. Fade took in the atmosphere a little too long as her steps turned from a jog to a steady walk. She was entranced by how peaceful it had all felt in contrast to the hell she's lived in for four months. The intercom of the base flicked on with its ear piercing feedback noise and the voice of Chamber coming through. "Madam Fade, to the meeting room. Now." The stern words of Chamber kicked her pace back into gear and she went back to a sprint.

The glass of the meeting room revealed Brimstone talking to Sage and Sova about something while next to his podium. Everyone else, save for Chamber and Viper who weren't even in the room, were standing and talking with each other. The back projector displayed a picture of some city Fade couldn't recognize. She opened the door and every eye in the room immediately glared at her and her anxiety spiked. Prowler burst from her and hovered over her shoulder as she tried to stare at the floor to avoid their glares.

At the sight of Prowler, several agents' fear flared which made holding her back much harder. She silently thanked herself for drinking the coffee. Raze signaled to Brimstone, "Ayooo, creepy lady's here. Can we start now?"

Brimstone eyed Fade in the back of the room and took his place on the podium "Alright, listen up!" The room shifted their eyes away from Fade and towards the front of the room, however Fade felt someone was still glaring at her from somewhere but she refused to stop staring at the ground. "The mission's gone south. Badly. We've lost contact with the strike team in Madrid. Reports say a radianite explosion went off in the south sector of the city." Brimstone pointed to the monitor showing satellite imagery of the explosion in question. Fade shifted to the corner of the room and out of the way of everyone as she leaned back against the corner. "Communication with the team was cut off right after the detonation and their pings are no longer active." Fade felt the room's emotions shift as murmurs and gasps filled the room. "We're sending in a small rescue to search and extract the MIA."

Jett immediately questioned, "Who's part of the rescue team? I know I'm suspended but if we need speed then…"

"Not you Jett. This is a search and rescue. Which means we scout and peel out." Brimstone clicked his controller and the monitor changed to an image of Sova. "Sova will be leading the rescue mission. He'll set up scans and recon beacons within the area, at the very least this will cover a majority of operation zone." Brimstone clicked his button and changed the screen again. This time a picture of Fade appeared.

Jett looked at the screen in horror. "What?! Her? Are you serious? We can't trust her!" Fade looked up from staring at the floor and was shocked to see that she had been selected for this mission.

Brimstone's face stared her down, "Jett, you are on thin ice. Slow down and let me finish. Understood?"

Jett shrunk back into the crowd and mumbled a "yes, sir."

"Sova." Brimstone waved his entry onto the podium and stood beside him.

Sova continued the briefing. "It was at my behest on sending in Fade." Jett looked angry at the Russian archer with furrowed brows as she tried to understand why. Fade stared wide eyed as she tried to understand why. "Where my scans fail is where Fade will shine. Her empathic abilities allow her to sense people within an operational range. If they are anywhere near where she scouts then that increases our chances of saving them." Fade furrowed her brows at the assumption, she could feel people near her but if she was going to find them then she would have to use the…Nightmare. Fade's expression turned to a horrified realization and her anxiety spiked high. They wouldn't dare…

Phoenix put a hand on Jett's shoulder and said something to her that only she could hear. After doing so, he gave a glare towards Fade's direction. The tension in this room with all the fear and anger directed towards Fade was overbearing. Keeping Prowler on her leash was taking a toll on her but she knew she needed to keep her close with how volatile her situation was. Brimstone took the podium again and clicked his controller again, this time Sage's face appeared. "Finally, Sage will be sent for field medical relief." Brimstone clicked his controller once more showing the faces of Raze, Killjoy and Kay/O. "These agents are the reserves for emergency reinforcement if needed. The rest of you will be updated as the mission progresses. The rescue team leaves in 10 minutes!"

Fade turned towards the door to hurry out of the room before Prowler could tug at her anymore. She felt a hand pull on her shoulder and spin her around to see an angry Jett standing a foot away from her while pointing a finger in her chest. "If anything happens to them I won't need Brimstone's permission to hunt you down. You got that?" Jett punctured her finger after every word of her question. Prowler growled lowly at Fade's feet, showing herself.

Fade quickly answered, "Crystal clear." Before she turned again and hurried to the armory to gear up. She stopped by the vending machine to chug a Spike Rush energy drink to help with containing the Prowler and to give her a second to breath. She almost wished to be killed by Jett before having to do that again.

As she grabbed her gear, Sage and Sova both checked up on her to make sure she was ready for the mission. Despite how rattled she had been she told them she would do what she needed to. This was Fade's first high stakes mission and she wasn't about to fail the protocol's first chance they gave her.

Brimstone entered the armory looking geared up as well. Fade gave him a questioning look. "Who do you think is flying our ride?" Brimstone eyed the several energy drinks on Fade's utility belt. "Are you feeling tired?"

"What?" Fade looked down at what Brimstone was talking about. "Oh, no. It's for Prowler." Brimstone raised an eyebrow at her assertion. Fade sighed, "Prowler doesn't just search for people. She hunts them. When she finds the others I'll need to reel her in immediately." Fade bit her lip, "You guys can't be serious about my abilities, right? You know what that means?"

Sage and Sova gave her sympathetic looks as she realized what she needed to do. "No" Fade blurted out. "No, no. I can't. Not to them. Not to Neon. I-I…"

Sage put her hands on her arms and gently rubbed them to calm her. "Fade, you're our best chance to save them. We have no idea what we are walking into. Just do enough to pinpoint their location, ok?"

Fade fiddles with her hands, she didn't want them to hate her anymore. She didn't want to scare them anymore. "I just.."

Sage cut her off before she could continue. "You are exactly where you belong. They'll forgive you. I promise but they need you now more than ever."

Fade looked at Sage with wide eyes, "You were in my nightmare.." she said it as a statement rather than a question. Fade's face hardened as she nodded to Sage. "Ok. I'll do what I can."

The three smiled at her as they all boarded for Spain.

Chapter Text

Fade had been to Spain once before she had joined Valorant…before her radiance. When her family had been happy, loving and…together. It was the last truly good memory of her family. Then First Light came and went. Fade's new found radiance scared her family. They couldn't bear to be in the same room with her, they couldn't look at her, they couldn't love her. She was a monster, when Prowler first struck at her little sister that had been what her mother had used. Monster.

She never saw their little girl again, they abandoned her quick enough and Fade had to survive alone. Valorant gave her the opportunity to find her father and a place to belong. Valorant never trusted her from the beginning after everything she had done. She felt so much guilt over it that she swore she would never lay a scratch on them again. She would protect them with all she had because they were all she had. There was her father..but something nawed at her that her fears would come true. He would only see the monster.

Sage, Sova, Cypher. They all showed her forgiveness and kindness beyond what she could ever expect. They are all so confident that she'll fit in with everyone eventually and here we are, she is given a chance to prove that she's worth something. That she can help. But she has to harm the people she wants to protect to do anything. It was so frustrating. Being so close and yet…the Nightmare demanded more from her. She knows they'll never understand or care how sick it made her feel to harm them. Fade knew there was nothing she could do. She was a monster in the body of a girl, and she can only hurt even when she's needed the most.

It would be worth saving their lives, even if…even…if…Fade couldn't finish the thought. She didn't know how long the flight had taken, she was so lost in thought. With the flick of her fingers she called the Prowler to her side. It hovered in front of her expectantly. "You're going to be a good girl for me. You understand?" The Prowler growled back in response, defiantly dancing around her arm. "You will obey me." Fade sternly said while gripping Prowler back into place in front of her. Prowler made an unexpected noise similar to a small yelp. "You will search but you will not hunt. Only when I explicitly tell you too. Understand?" Fade demanded. The Prowler nodded in response while still hovering in place in front of her. "Good girl." Fade pet the Prowler and it leaned into the touch.

Sage entered the room as the ship made a sudden speed shift to slow down. "We're landing in 5 minutes. Ready?"

Prowler snapped at Sage and Fade tugged at her hard. "Not until I tell you." Prowler yelped into place and curled against Fade's leg in apology. "Yes, I think we're both ready."

Sage nodded, "You seem more in control than before."

"This one will do what is needed and nothing more. right, Prowler?" The Prowler nodded to Fade and rubbed against her. "I-I don't want this to be any worse for them than I can make it. They deserve better." Fade couldn't look at Sage but her tone was less confident when she addressed her.

"They deserve you. They just won't know it until it's over." Sage walked over to Fade as the Prowler seemed to halt its urge to lunge at her. "You deserve better. You deserve a place here. You belong here." Sage sat down next to Fade. "Never forget that."

Fade felt an intense emotion well up in her chest and her eyes started to water. Before Fade could thank her Brimstone yelled over the intercom, "Doors opening. Deploy now!" Fade, Sage and Sova all dropped from the ship with weapons drawn. The dropship flew a safe distance away from the hot zone.

Sova reviewed his data map. "This is the area where we lost contact. Fade, you sense anything?"

Fade focused on the hard on the surrounding area, she couldn't feel anything other than Sova and Sage. "No, they must be further into the city." Fade flicked the Prowler from her arm. "Prowler, search!" The Prowler nodded its understanding and rushed away into the city to find a ting of fear anywhere. "Prowler will search independently, I'll feel when she finds something."

Sova nodded, "Good work. I'll scan the surrounding area. We'll push north and close in on the blast radius. Still no contact."

The three of them moved into the city to check and clear buildings on their way. It was a tedious and arduous process but it was thorough. It wasn't until they made their way to near the blast radius of the radianite explosion that Fade felt something. "There they are. Prowler! Search!" Fade redirected Prowler towards the source of the emotion of fear that she felt.

The Prowler moved with haste to the blast zone. Rounding a corner, she found Skye partially buried with only her chest and head laying out on the ground. The bottom half of her body was crushed under the rubble of a collapsed archway. Her face and hair were covered in dust and she had a slow steady breath. As the Prowler moved closer, Skye turned her head to look towards her. Her face winced in pain.

"H-hey there, pretty sheila. You're *cough* you're Fade's aren't you?" The Prowler fought its urge to jump at the delicious fear emanating from Skye. No hunt. Only search. Prowler slowly sniffed the Australian and growled slightly. "Don't give me that right now." Skye reached with her arm to pet Prowler and she leaned into the touch. "That's right, I'm a friend." Skye could barely keep her eyes open. "Good girl"

"Skye" Fade pulled Prowler with increased vigor as she felt Skye's fear spike. "She's trapped in some rubble." The two followed Fade as she sprinted through the streets with increased speed. "She doesn't look good. We'll need to hurry.

"Good work, Fade." Sage praised. Fade felt a swelling of pride grow in her chest. "Any news on the others?"

"I have Prowler searching the surrounding area from where Skye is but she hasn't found anyone else. I need to get closer to pinpoint other emotions."

"Scans have come up empty so far. Looks like I was right to send you on this mission."

The three turned the corner and found Skye, just as motionless as Prowler found her. "Well aren't you all a sight for sore eyes." Skye started a coughing fit after chuckling to herself. "I got myself all mucked up here."

Sova and Fade began lifting the rubble off of Skye while Sage went to help with her injuries. "Skye, what happened?" Sage put her hands on Skye's abdomen to assess her injuries.

"Their Spike device, it…It exploded too quickly. We weren't ready for it." Skye scrunched her face in thought. "I'm not sure what happened to the others. The damn building fell on me." Sage could feel possible broken bones in Skye's legs as well as torn ligaments. Skye's exhaustion was going to be a problem. "I tried sending for help but my critters couldn't find anyone. I'm so tired."

Sage grabbed Skye's hand and squeezed it, "I know you are, but you must keep your eyes open, ok? Stay with us." Skye just hummed in response while struggling to keep her eyes open.

Fade felt another sense of fear coming from the blast zone. "Sage, I feel another emotion. But it's on site."

Sage nodded, "This might sting a little bit, Skye. Just trust me." Sage let go of Skye's hand and lifted her hand at the rubble. A solid crystalline wall formed above Skye, outlining her resting body and lifting up the rubble to throw it outwards. It's not exactly clean but it isn't bundled up and in the way of everyone, and Skye is free. "Go." Sage ordered Fade and Sova as she continued her work on Skye.

Fade and Sova nodded and pushed into sight, slowly clearing it for hostiles. The courtyard was turned into a makeshift marketplace for raw Radianite. Stalls and tents layered the outskirts of the city center. A large fountain sat in the middle with a large walkway surrounding it. The explosion centered on the far right side of this walkway. The tall store/apartment buildings surrounded the courtyard.

Fade closed in on the pang of fear and worry which centered inside the fountain. Yoru was sitting on the water, with his back leaning on the fountain center and breathing heavily. His mask was still on his face but his eyes were glazed over as if he was in perpetual shock. Yoru's right arm just…simply wasn't there. A blue distortion was on the base of his arm's socket. The water soaked his pants up to his waist and his other hand lay limply at his side.

Fade clipped her gun to her sling and took a knee next to him. "Yoru? We're here,ok? You're safe." Yoru looked at Fade with his glazed over eyes and she felt his fear for her spike which sent her backwards into a startle. She fell back on her butt and kept her sight in Yoru in dismay. He-he's still terrified of me. Even when I'm trying to save him. Fade stood up and fiddled her fingers in anxiousness.

Sova finished clearing the site and yelled to Fade, "Have you found him?"

Fade shook out of her thoughts and stuttered her response. "Uh, ya! He's in bad shape." Fade shifted her weight. "M-maybe you should check on him."

Sova gave her a curious look but when he noticed her looking to the ground sadly he understood the situation. "Right, good job Fade. We couldn't have done this without you." Sova hopped the fountain wall and kneeled next to Yoru. "Keep searching for the others."

Fade nodded and stepped out of the fountain. Prowler hadn't found anything else near their perimeter. She tried focusing her radiance to sense anyone else around her, but despite how hard she focused she couldn't feel anything.

Sova tried to get Yoru's attention. "Yoru, you're missing an arm, friend. What happened?" Sova pulled out a basic medical kit to check Yoru's vitals. He then activated his comlink to Brimstone. "Immediate evac of two critically injured agents. Position clear of landing." A faint "copy that" could be heard on the other end.

"The spike- it…" Yoru began to say. Sova put his hand on his unaffected shoulder to interrupt.

"We know that part. What's happened to your arm?" Sova asked softly.

Yoru continued, "When it exploded I- I was too slow." He put his head into his hand. "I tried to riftwalk but my…my arm didn't make it through." Yoru moved his good arm over the rift residue on his socket. "I-I don't know what this is."

Sova nodded in understanding. "You're safe now and you'll be alright. Let's get you out of here."

Fade and Prowler continued their searches but made no progress in finding any of the other agents. She frustratingly slammed her foot on the ground. She'd hoped that finding the others would have been as easy as finding Yoru and Skye. Fate had a way of frowning upon her, however.

The skyranger flew overhead of the courtyard and descended on top of them. Sova helped Yoru up and directed him to the ship and Brimstone lifted him up. Sova grabbed a stretcher and ran to Sage to help Skye onto the ship. While this was happening, Fade silently begged for there to be any feeling as she concentrated just as hard. She felt a hand touch her shoulder which caused her to jump in surprise. She was met by a Sage smiling at her as she turned around. "Have you been able to find anyone else?"

Fade looked away towards the ground sadly and tried to focus again. "No." Nothing came again when she tried to reach out. "Which means they are either not feeling intense emotions, they are out of the city or…" Fade swallowed anxiously. "Or they're dead."

Sage sighed. "We can't rule out the last option until you try."

Fade furrowed her brows in frustration. "They won't ever forgive me."

"They will. Because I'll be the one to give the order." Sage reassures

Fade turned to Sage with a shocked expression, "You can't do that Sage. They'll…they will hate you."

Sage shook her head. "Nothing is set in stone and we need to find them."

Fade nodded and closed her eyes. "I know."

Fade focused her radiance one more time but this time to spread the Nightmare city wide. "Nightmare…" Fade hesitated as she tried to overcome her reluctance to use this on her allies. Quietly, but firmly, finally stated, "...take them." The Nightmare was released and flooded streets and alleys, sewers and gutters, windows and doors. Once over half of the city was overcome she felt 3 pangs of fear within the sewer system along a main street 2 miles away from the courtyard. Fade could feel their heart rates skyrocket and their pores sweat. Fade sensed their fear, terror and sadness that ripped through her own heart. Her head ached in pain as she felt every fiber of her torture upon her friends. Collapsing to her knees , she leaked out a couple of tears from her eyes. Sage kneeled down next to her, rubbed her arms and tried to calm her down.

"Fade. Where are they?" Sage asked hastily but calmly in an attempt to get them out of there. Fade through her arm out to resummon her Prowler as it sniffed out the path to them. Sage and Sova ran to follow the Prowler, leaving Brimstone to get Fade into the ship.

Fade gritted her teeth and sealed her eyes shut. Hands holding her head as all the visions seeped into her brain. She felt a hand in her arm that caused her to look up at Brimstone. "If you want to help them then direct me to where they are." Fade sniffed but couldn't stop the tears as she stood up and ran to the ship. Yoru sat to the right of Skye who was passed out on the medical bed with her feet towards the wall. He gave her a side glance that basically told her she was a monster as she got in that didn't go unnoticed but she ignored it as best she could.

Sitting in the co-pilot seat with tears still in her eyes. "That building over there. They'll be under the main street in front of it." Fade scrunched her face in an uncomfortable grimace "Oh god, I can feel their pain. Please hurry!"

Brimstone didn't hesitate and punched it towards her direction. When they got over the main street, they could see Sova and Sage prying a sewer grate open as Prowler squeezed its way within. When Prowler got too close to the 3 agents she yanked him back to her side. The Prowler growled in anger at her and hungered for her negative emotions. "No! Sit. Stay." Fade said sternly. The Prowler snapped its mouth at her and Fade angrily pulled the Prowler out of its being. The Prowler fought back and she struggled for control. Fade focused and pushed her limits to fully control the Prowler as it was sucked into oblivion. The Nightmare that she sent throughout the city was finally dissipating and Sova and Sage reached the other agents just in time.

Brimstone patted her shoulder. "Good job, kid. You saved their lives today." Fade didn’t feel any better about what transpired today and couldn't look at Brimstone even in his praise. She wiped the last of her tears as the feelings of fear and pain subsided. Brimstone dropped his smile for a sympathetic look and sighed. "They're gonna need your help getting on the ship."

Fade looked at Brimstone wide eyed. "What? Me? I-I don't think I should…"

Brimstone halted her by holding up his hand, "Just go help them. That's an order."

Fade fiddled with her fingers anxiously as she stood and headed to the back. Yoru was still watching over Skye but looked over to her as she walked into the ship. Fade ignored him again and grabbed the door handle to open it. "Thank you for your help." Fade froze as she heard the praise from the blue agent. "Maybe we were wrong about you, I don't know. You still crossed a line with me but…you saved me today, so…thank you." Fade turned to loom at Yoru who wasn't even looking at her. He found the floor to be much more interesting. Fade felt a swelling of pride emanated in her chest. This was the first real praise she's gotten from someone who wasn't a leader in Valorant. She didn't know how to respond and her face heated up in embarrassment at the compliment.

Fade awkwardly continued to open the door and left Yoru's praise unanswered. She couldn't quite process every emotion she was feeling yet. The ship got to ground level as the agents were getting out of the sewer grate. Breach was the first one out as Fade offered her hand. Breach slapped it away and angrily shouted, "Get away from me, you freak." Fade rubbed her hand and looked away in shame. I should have known. He pulled himself out of the sewer and onto the ship. "You do that shit one more fucking time, I swear…" Breach loudly muttered to himself as he passed.

Next Cypher climbed up to the grate. Fade didn’t offer a hand this time and assumed he wouldn't want to see her. She just about turned around until Cypher loudly asked. "Can I have a hand, please?" Fade looked at him curiously and saw his hand outstretched to her. "Unless you're only interested in partially saving me?" Fade smiled at him, thankful that his demeanor with her didn't change. She pulled him up and onto the ship, thanking her as he sat down.

Next Neon. Fade offered a hand but looked away from Neon and stared at the floor of the ship. She was terrified of her answer the most and couldn't quite understand why. It felt like hours were passing as she waited to either feel her hand grabbed or to hear her footsteps pass her.

Chapter Text

2 Hours Ago

Neon felt a cold shudder as the doors of the ship opened. She had never been to Madrid but she didn't expect a cold breeze to hit her out of nowhere. Breach and Yoru sat in front of the opened doors to be the first to clear their objective of hostiles. Neon and Skye will fall behind them and clear the perimeter. Cypher falls last to set up an operational perimeter along with the help of Skye and Neon

Neon sprinted wide right of the objective and Skye sent her radiance wide left to cover Yoru and Breach. Cypher began operational protocols and the site was soon surrounded by tripwires and security cameras. Four affirmative "Clear!" callouts were announced by the agents. Yoru and Breach entered the courtyard to find a spike already digging into the ground. The steady pace of the noise emitter hinted that they still had plenty of time to defuse the mechanism. "No one around?" Neon asked skeptically of their easy situation.

Cypher rapidly checked his cameras. "Nothing to report. Odd."

Yoru went and started the process of defusing the device. "Cover me."

Cypher moved to a side alley that led to the courtyard. "Breach and I will cover this large entrance. Skye, you watch the way we came. And Neon…be ready to reinforce."

All agents nodded and continued their duties. The other 4 agents moved to defensive positions while Yoru started to defuse. The button was pressed but something was wrong. The noise emitting from the spike began to go faster. "What the hell?" Yoru said as he stared at the spike wide-eyed. The spike was detonating and there were only a few seconds to react.

"Get out of there, Yoru!" Skye ran closer to him to get him to hear her. Yoru pulled out his mask and put it on him as the explosion expanded. Neon, in a frenzied panic, ran towards Cypher and Breach to push them away from the blast zone. Skye tried to turn and run but the shaking caused by the explosion caused the archway she was guarding to fully collapse and fall on top of her. She was pinned to the ground and coughed up blood immediately. Cypher, Breach and Neon successfully escaped the explosion, however the shaking was so violent that it caused a sinkhole within the alley which caused all three agents to fall into the sewer system. The sinkhole filled with rubble from something above that stacked in a pile, covering the sink hole with rocks.

Neon had her whole body weight on top of Breach and Cypher who groaned in unison at falling down nearly 7 feet. Neon rolled off of them to the left and ended up laying on her back next to Cypher. The sewer system was about 10 feet wide and 10 feet tall. Pathways on the sides are about 2 feet wide and the waterways fill up the rest of the way. Small avenues of light, including small breaks in the rubble behind them, shined through to give the tunnels some vision.

The rubble behind them was thickly built, Neon giving her nose a huff. "That was too close." Cypher and Breach got to their feet to take in their surroundings. Cypher pulled out his watch and activated a distress signal.

"Breach, see if you can deal with the rubble? I'm calling for assistance. This mission is unfortunately a failure and our team has become compromised." Cypher looked to the two agents who both reacted with dread. Failure wasn't ever a good feeling. "We're still alive, so we need to get out of here if the rescue team is going to be able to find us."

They both nodded and turned to work on the rubble. Breach used his arms to try and break the rubble apart, doing so unstabilized the pile and caused a landslide. Neon reacted and quickly pushed Breach back away from the falling rocks. More boulders and rubble filled the space, causing the collapsed tunnel to fill up deeper. Breach gave Neon a quick, "Thanks."

"Enough." Cypher said, "I'm not putting any more of us in danger." Cypher turned and pointed down the long tunnel. "We need to find our own way out."

"But-but what about the others?" Neon hastily protested.

"I'm not sure. But we'll do them no good with the way we are. The rescue team is our best chance to survive this. So let's make sure we're here to be found." Cypher began to push down the sewer system. Breach followed along and Neon hesitated, looking back at the pile of rubble before following Cypher.

The system was old and seemed to be a relic of the past. Stone brick and a sort of aqueduct like system. The water was about shin deep and Breach didn't much like the smell. "Ugh, why'd we have to fall into a sewer of all things?"

Cypher chuckled, "Because the world decided that Breach needed a shitty day."

The three navigated the maze-like system of the city just trying to find a sewer grate or something to get out for what felt like hours. Neon sprinted ahead of the other 2 to scout ahead but after the 5th time she returned from a crossroads she nearly gave up hope. "Ugh, we are never getting out of here. Now the rescue team might never find us." Neon slammed her back against the wall in frustration and slid down to sit on the floor. Putting her legs up and her arms on top of her knees she rested her hand on her arms and groaned.

Cypher considered their situation and resolved to take a break. Sighing, he sat down next to Neon and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm sorry to have put you both in this position. I may have even got Skye and Yoru killed as well."

Neon looked up at Cypher with an annoyed look. "Nope, nuh uh. You are not doing that right now. You saw what happened! None of us were ready for it."

Breach took a knee on the other wall across from Neon and Cypher. "Ya, that wasn't normal. No enemy contact, either?"

Cypher nodded in agreement. "Yes, it's curious and potentially problematic. If the mirror verse was able to create a more effective spike, or even one that was trapped, then we are officially outmatched." Cypher flicked one of his trip wires between his fingers as he thought. "It seemed more destructive, as well."

Breach heard a whisper in his ear that he thought came from the tunnels. "You guys hear that?" Breach grabbed his gun in worry and aimed it down the tunnel.

Neon jumped in confusion and looked down the same way Breach was looking. She hadn't heard a sound. "Uh, no?" She looked at Breach's face and he looked dead serious. His body started shaking and….he… oh no, Neon thought as her fear skyrocketed and she started to run. She didn't know where she was going or where they came from but all she knew was that she needed to escape it. The Nightmare. Suddenly, her feet began to drag and she couldn't move. Her body was pulled into the ground and her radiance flared. The electricity from her hand shot out through the tunnel and she could hear the screams of Cypher and Breach.

She was losing control and her radiance shot from her uncontrollably. She couldn't move her legs or run from her danger. Neon was stuck in the Nightmare all over again, she wanted to cry and beg for her release. One by one she saw herself electrocution each Valorant agent as she lost more and more control. Then, she saw her. Fade. Neon's hand trembled as she aimed it at Fade. She tried to actively fire her arm electricity at her which, to her dismay, proved an impossible task. The image of Fade was menacing, angry, laughing. No, this isn't Fade. The vision of Fade shifted suddenly and switched it to the image of Fade laying on the ground in a fetal position and crying from when she had her mental breakdown. Neon's desire instantly switched from wanting to shoot her to wanting to protect her. Neon's powers fought against her control and choices, causing her to fire her radiance at the Fade. The image disappeared just like the others and once it did, she felt in control again and her legs weren't pulled into the ground.

Neon still wasn't back in the sewers and she felt the world shifting around her, she saw Fade again but this time she was sitting in a room at Valorant headquarters. She looked so small and scared of something. An image of Neon walked through the vision as she tried to pass. Neon's image had an angry expression and gave Fade a side glance. Fade looked up at her and begged her, "Please Neon. I swear I didn't want to. It was the only way to…"

Neon interrupted her and waved her hand in disgust, "Save it. You only used that as an excuse to torture me again."

Fade leaned forward and put her head in her hands in frustration, "No! That's not true. I care about you."

Neon scoffed at her, "Care about me? By making me go through my worst fears over again?"

Fade looked back at her with fresh tears in her eyes. "S-sage, Brimstone. T-they…" Fade stuttered out before she was interrupted again.

"You can't keep using them as a crutch, you freak!" Neon used extra venom in her tone at the last word and Fade cringed at hearing it. Fade retreated at the insult and looked even smaller and fragile than before.

"I- I'm not a f-freak. I'm s-sorry. P-please unders-stand. I n-never m-meant to h-hurt you." Fade's stuttering increased tenfold as her anxiety shot through the roof. The real Neon was appalled by how poorly she was being treated until Neon realized something. She is still stuck in the Nightmare but this isn't a fear of hers. So that must mean she is witnessing Fade's fear. One of her deepest darkest fears is being considered a freak by Neon. The idea made her feel guilty but it confused her. Why did she care what she thought? "I-I love you." Neon's eyes widened. Oh. Neon's brain ran faster than she usually did to process that information. Why did her heart swell at the confession? And why did her heart stutter at seeing Fade look at her image like that?

The image of Neon responded to Fade by slapping her across the face. "Like that makes a difference, you bitch! You're never going to fit in with Valorant. You'd do us all a favor by disappearing." Fade held her hand to her cheek where Neon had slapped her and cried silently as Neon walked off. The real Neon's anger flared and her powers radiated from her. Neon couldn't explain why this had angered her so fiercely or why she all of a sudden cared so much about what happened to Fade, but she was going to charge at her image to give her a piece of her mind. Once she got closer the world distorted and she found herself back in the sewers.

She slowed her momentum as her anger was replaced by confusion as her image was replaced by a groaning Breach and Cypher kneeling before her. The two blinked rapidly and looked around just as confused as their visions seemed to have subsided. Neon heard footsteps coming down a tunnel and drew her rifle towards it. The image of Sova and Sage came into their view causing Neon to gasp in disbelief as she lowered her weapon. "Neon! Thank heavens." Sage said as she sprinted over to the three.

Breach shook his head as the last of his nightmare dissipated and roared, "Where is she?! I'll fucking kill her!" Breach's arms both activated, threatening to punch through the wall. Sage quickly put her hand on Breach's torso to physically push him back.

"I gave the order, Breach. If you want to be pissed then be pissed at me." Sage calmly yet firmly said to him.

Breach was taken aback for a second before angrily regarding Sage. "You ordered that bitch?" Breach and Sage's faces were inches from each other. "What gives you or her the right to fuck with our heads?"

"That 'bitch' just saved your lives." Hearing Sage swear completely caught everyone off guard. Even Breach raised his eyebrow the moment it came out of her mouth. "I suggest you cool it."

Cypher got in between them, putting his hand on Breach's shoulder and pushed Breach back from Sage's face. "And I suggest getting out of this sewer before we all do something we regret, wouldn't you agree friend?" Breach looked at Cypher and gave a huge breath before shrugging off Cypher's hand.

"Whatever. Just get me out of here." Breach marched over to Sova who had been keeping watch down the opposite tunnel by their exit. Sage turned to Neon, giving her a smile and a nod. Neon returned it an unsure look but nodded all the same. Sage made a gesture that told Neon to head to the exit before her. Sage watched their backs as everyone headed to the ladder.

Chapter Text

Neon looked at the hand with uncertainty and could tell Fade didn’t want to look her in the eye. Neon felt a pang of guilt and took Fade's hand in her own, allowing her to be pulled up by Fade who gave her a surprised look. Neon gave her a stern look that Fade was sure was going to be an angry tirade against her but Neon's next words truly surprised her. "I forgive you this time." Fade looked at Neon who had a smile on her face instead. "I'm still working on the first time, though."

Fade righted herself from her timid stance and smiled back at Neon. "O-of course. A-nd…thank you…for forgiving me. I-I didn't want to…" Neon stopped her by putting a finger on her lips and shushing her. Fade's eyes widened in confusion and her cheeks reddened.

"We can talk about it later." Neon smiled as she said so and removed her hand from her lips. She turned to look at Yoru who was indeed missing an arm and a passed out Skye. "Oh my God! What happened?"

Fade stared at Neon for a few seconds as a heavy burdened weight lifted off her shoulder. A sharp whistle knocked her out of her stupor. Sage was holding out her hand to get helped onto the ship. "Distracted by something, Fade?"

Fade's cheeks heated up in embarrassment before she stammered to grab Sage's hand and her response, "No, no of course not. I'm just glad everyone is safe." Sage was lifted onto the airship and she gave a suspicious, "mmm hmm" in response. Sova was pulled up finally and he went into the cockpit to copilot and confirm they were ready for take off. Sage went to take care of Skye and Yoru as best as she could but it wouldn't be until they were in base that she could confirm their health. Yoru might prove to be an issue, however.

"I'm so sorry, Yoru. I should've been faster…" Neon berated herself as she looked sympathetically to him.

Yoru used his good arm to wave in dismissal of her statement. "Stop that. If it were anyone else they would have been fried. If it wasn’t for me we'd have one less agent." Even when he was trying to cheer someone up, he found a way to be cocky about it.

Neon laughed at him and punched his good shoulder. "Of course you'd find a way to talk yourself up you dork."

"Hey, I lost an arm. I deserve a little praise." Yoru joked and shoulder bumped Neon's arm. Yoru looked back down at Skye sadly, "Skye had it rough. I heard her struggling all that time while I was in shock." Yoru cringed his face and closed his eyes in frustration. "I just sat there frozen while she was calling for help. Baka! When did I become a coward?"

Cypher came over to the two and patted Yoru on the shoulder. "You did what you could. It's not everyday any of us loses an arm." Cypher looked at Skye as well. "You couldn't have done anything more for her other than potentially hurt both of you."

Yoru resigned with a sigh and decided not to argue any more. Neon patted his back, "He's right. You're still the badass we all know." Neon joked with him which gave him a small smile.

Fade stood near the door awkwardly, not sure where to be. The rest of the group hovered around Skye and Breach was still molding at her in the corner. She fiddled with her hands and tried to pass the time for the ship ride.

Yoru looked up at Fade and saw her still huddled in the corner like always. "If it wasn’t for her I don't think any of us would have made it out." Everyone looked towards Fade who was still awkwardly fiddling in the corner. Her Prowler started to peer out from her body and curl around her legs. She was silently muttering to the creature and seemed frustrated by it. Neon decided to sprint over to Fade which caused the Prowler to growl at her and Fade to jump in surprise.

"C-careful. She doesn't listen sometimes." Fade worryingly warned. Neon leaned down and reached a hand out to the creature. Fade noticed that Neon wasn't emanating any fear and it surprised her. The Prowler made its subtle way to her and rubbed against her hand. Fade was unsure of what Neon was doing.

"This little girl helped save us, right? She's kinda cute." Fade blurted out a snort at the unexpected comment and immediately put her hand to her face, embarrassed.

Coughing lightly to reset herself, she retorted to Neon, "She's kind of a little shit, honestly." Neon continued to pet the creature and even laughed when it bumped and rubbed her face. "She seems to like you more than me."

Neon stood up and smiled at Fade, "oh I don't think so. You two act too much like annoyed siblings. You can't live without each other."

Fade mumbled, "Unfortunately."

Neon put her hands behind her back and tiptoed her right food. "Have you eaten today? We could go together after we all get checked up by Sage?"

Fade felt her chest swell slightly at the offer that came out of nowhere for her. "Oh. I..I…" Fade looked back at everyone else sitting at the back of the ship. "Are you sure?" Fade looked back at the ground sadly. As if Neon hadn't thought of what the others would think of her by associating with Fade.

Neon lifted her chin to get Fade to stop looking at the ground and to her eyes. The action made both Neon and Fade's hearts race. "Of course, I owe you one for saving my life, right?"

Fade laughed awkwardly at Neon's confident eyes looking into her. "Oh..ya. S-sure. But I think you've suffered enough today to not owe me anything. B-but if you still wanted to go then I wouldn't say no…I…" Fade was interrupted by Neon putting two fingers to her lips. Fade looked at her in surprise.

"Fade, you need to slow down. And that means something coming from me." Neon giggled slightly. "And yes, I would enjoy that." Fade smiled at Neon which caused her to temporarily lose her control and accidentally zap Fade's lips. Fade flinched backwards and put her hand to her mouth with a, "ow!" Neon worriedly pulled her hand back and went to reach out to her. "Fade! I'm sorry. I…" A low growl stopped her in her tracks and she looked down at the Prowler. Neon shooed her away and said, "Will you stop it." Neon walked past the Prowler to get to Fade.

Fade waved her off with a dismissive hand. "Don't worry, I'm ok. I know what it's like to not have control of your powers."

Neon laughed slightly at the comment, they weren't that different from each other, were they?

Yoru called out to them, "Will you guys stop flirting and come over here. Skye's waking up."

Neon and Fade both felt heat rise in their cheeks as they made their way over to them. Breach was still sulking in the corner by himself. Skye's eyes opened to a concerned Sage's face and everyone else crowding above her in a semi circle. Sage put her hand on her forehead,"Hey Skye, how are you feeling?" Sage pried softly.

Skye groaned and responded. "Ya, I think I'll make it. Looks like everyone else got out."

Sage nodded, "We're still in transit to Valorant HQ. There I'll be able to properly get you back up to speed. But I don't think you should take the field for a while."

Skye gave a dismissive wave. "Ah that's rubbish, Sage. If everyone else can go out then I can too."

Sage gave her a sympathetic look, "Skye, I'm not sure how your legs are doing right now, there's a few broken bones and it will take me time to fix them. I'm not asking, I'm ordering you to rest."

Skye groaned and pouted, "Fine. But none of you have any more fun without me!" Skye lazily pointed to everyone. Then she saw Fade standing there looking at her upside down from her laid down position, Fade averted her eyes as soon as she looked at her. Skye pointed to her, "Hey, you! Get over here!"

Fade jumped at the exclamation and nervously pointed to herself. "Me?"

Skye responded, "Ya you. Bring that little fella out with ya."

Fade looked at her with a very confused face, "Prowler?" Skye enthusiastically nodded and Fade moved beside her to the opposite side of Sage, Yoru moved away to give Fade room. "Um, are you sure? He's not exactly tamed."

Skye put her hand on Fade's arm to reassure her, "neither are mine, mate. I want to thank her." Skye gave a squeeze to Fade's arm and smiled at her. "And you."

Fade shook her head embarrassed and quickly blurted, "I didn't do anything more than anyone else would have done."

Skye gave a face of semi-agreement. "Eh, fair. But we've all given you a hard time ever since you got here." Skye looked away shyly. "And I know it probably wasn't easy, and I owe you an apology."

Fade immediately blurted. "You don't owe me anything. I'm just glad you're alright."

Breach finally rose from his seat and angrily shouted. "Oh what. She gets in your head and the next second we're all friends now?" Fade jumped at the outburst and Prowler came to her side and growled aggressively at him. Breach's fear of the creature caused him to fall backwards on his ass. "Get that thing away from me!."

Neon ran to Prowler and stroked her on the top of her head. "Prowler, it's alright girl. Just calm down." Neon gave a death glare to Breach and sternly told him, "You need to calm down. She feeds off your fear."

Breach gave a confused look as he loudly yelled, "You're on her side?!?"

Fade attempted to grab Prowler and ordered her to stand down. "Prowler. You will obey me." Skye noticed that she was having trouble controlling her Prowler and tapped her arm.

Fade looked down at Skye. "Remember, she's a wild animal. They don't like being ordered but they'll negotiate." Skye summoned her wolf on the ground next to the Prowler. "You treat them as equals, a partnership. You suggest, don't order." Fade gave Skye a doubtful expression while looking unsure towards Prowler. "Trust me, mate. If there's one thing I know, it's animals, right?" Skye had a point, Fade sighed and nodded in agreement. "At least, I bloody hope so. It's like my one thing!" Fade laughed lightly and tried to take Skye's advice.

She communicated with Prowler in a more subtle way. She used her powers to not pull her but to soothe her. "Prowler, let's not do this girl. They'll be more fear to feast on later." Prowler shimmered in place.

Breach tried to open his mouth again but Neon pointed her arm out at him that was shining with radiance. "Don't you say a word."

The Prowler still growled at Breach, looking ready to pounce. Fade continued, "Yes, but attacking him now means no fear for later. You remember what happened in Greece?"

The Prowler began shimmering in annoyance and turned away from Breach. She made a vibrating noise at Fade who knelt down next to her and pet her. "If we work together. If you trust me then you'll get your fears. Come on, girl. It…." Fade stuttered slightly and looked to Neon who was focused on Fade and her Prowler. "It doesn't always have to be just us." Prowler shimmered again before turning to Neon and rubbing her leg. Neon dropped her arm and pet Prowler back. "Good girl." Fade said as she looked at Breach. "Can you give Breach an apology?"

Prowler shimmered in slight protest but made its way over to Breach. His fear radiated off of him intensely, Prowler felt the urge to jump but Fade's promise to get more fear later if she trusted her managed the fear. Prowler rubbed against Breach's face with a little pur which caused Breach to groan in annoyance. The Prowler made her way back to her side.

Skye from the table praised the girl, "There ya go. You two will be a well oiled machine out there. Just keep trusting each other."

Fade turned to Skye as she stood up and smiled. "Thank you…I've never been able to get Prowler to help me before."

Neon kept looking at Fade with a proud look on her face. She heard a cough from behind her. "Can I talk again?" Neon gave him a glare.

"It depends, are you going to keep being a dick?" Neon rhetorically asked.

"No, I get it. The witch is alright, I guess." Breach started to get up but was immediately zapped in the leg. "Ow! What the fuck!?" Breach grabbed his leg in pain.

"That witch has a name." Neon's arm charged up again.

"Fade! Fade!" Breach sputtered loudly which satisfied Neon to finally release him

Chapter Text

The ship finally landed after the long 8 hour flight. Yoru and Skye went in and out of consciousness for the majority of the flight which worried Sage but thankfully their vitals remained stable. Fade had been given, what she would consider to be, a surprising amount of praise for what she considered to be the bare minimum she could've done. It seemed that Breach was the most unsure of her, and after a second nightmare she couldn't blame him. She was more baffled by the support she received.

Yoru's in bad shape and so far no solution to his current predicament has been found. No one has any experience with riftwalking other than Yoru but even he is unfamiliar with exactly what is happening to his arm. Skye will be out of commission for a few days. Sage's radiance was able to speed up the healing process but it didn't fix every problem immediately. Bullet holes were surprisingly easier to fix than crushed bones.

Overall, it was a successful rescue even if it presented a new dangerous threat to Valorant. A new technological feat that could cause even worse consequences in future missions. Killjoy was sent to find a potential solution or a work around for the device.

Almost immediately after the mission Jett ran to Neon with a giant hug. "I'm so glad you're ok!" Neon was surprised at the affection, their last interaction hadn't ended well.

"Of course I'm ok. Fade took care of us." Neon turned to Fade behind her who jumped at her name and looked away from the two.

Jett's expression soured, "What did she do to you? Are you sure you're ok? Blink twice if she threatened you." Jett fired off her accusatory questions that caused Fade to give a confused look at her.

Neon shook her head, "Jett, Fade protected me. Now, I have to go check in with Sage. Walk with me?" Jett was still suspicious and scowled toward Fade but turned around to start heading to Sage's office.

Neon had waved and winked to Fade as she headed to the medical office that caused a funny feeling in her stomach. Fade followed behind Brimstone who also had to go to Sage. Valorant's protocol for every agent was to give a mental and physical examination before they were cleared for another mission. Neon, Breach and Cypher were relatively unharmed although Sage still made sure they didn't suffer any mental issues after Fade's use of the Nightmare. To Sage's surprise, Neon shrugged off the whole thing and never showed any signs of lasting trauma. Cypher handled everything the same way he always did, to Sage's frustration. Overall, he had been cleared despite his lack of cooperation in communicating his thoughts and feelings. Breach was the most worrying of all of them. Sage had already considered him to be in the worst shape but he was unbelievably irate. He spent most of his time complaining about Fade and how "he can't work around her like this." Sage gave him some sleep medication, told him that he will be alright and ordered to take a couple of weeks rest before being sent out again.

Sova, Fade and Brimstone had to go through the same process despite them dealing with significantly less. As expected, Sova and Brimstone ended quickly and they were both cleared soon after getting off the ship. Fade, however, spent the longest with Sage since the latter was concerned about her experience with the Nightmare that clearly affected her. Fade assured her that she'll be ok but using the Nightmare like the way she did will take her some time to make peace with. Sage accepted the answer and ordered a week's rest.

Skye would need about a month of rest and a mental checkup before she was cleared. Yoru was on an indefinite amount of rest until a solution could be found for his arm. Viper and Omen were brought on to assist Sage with Yoru's situation. Sage thought Omen might have some idea of what was happening based on his own abilities and Viper has another angle of expertise to provide.

Fade finally was released from Sage's office and was suddenly greeted by a Neon. "Hey! Are you…still ok to get some food?"

Fade was caught off guard at first. Was she waiting for me? The thought caused Fade's cheeks to heat up. "Um, ya, of course." But what of the others? Fade's thought caused her to feel sheepish. "But, uh, what if people see us together?"

Neon looked confused, "So what?"

Fade fiddled with her fingers, "I don't want you to lose friends because…because you're with the freak."

Neon's heart hurt at Fade talking down about herself. To answer her question, Neon grabbed Fade's arm and huddled next to her. Fade's heart raced the same as Neon. "It's a good thing you're not a freak then." Neon pulled at Fade to start walking with her to the cafeteria. Fade's stomach fluttered at Neon's words and a small smile donned her face.

The walk to the cafeteria was the most calming walk of Fade's life. No words were spoken as the two just enjoyed the company of each other. Once the cafeteria doors opened, Fade's anxiety skyrocketed. The cafeteria was full today and slowly heads started to turn and look at the door that opened. Killjoy, Raze and Breach sat at one table, Jett, Phoenix, Reyna and Chamber were at another. Kay/o was sitting with Cypher and they seemed to be the only ones who took their eyes off of here.

Spikes of fear emanated from the cafeteria as Prowler rumbled. Fade hissed at her, "No, we had a deal remember?" The Prowler did something similar to a groan and stopped her movements.

Neon whispered to her, "Is something wrong?"

Fade shook her head, "N-no, I just need to use the bathroom. C-can you get a table for us?"

Neon had a concerned expression. She knew Fade wasn't being truthful. "If you need anything, let me know. Ok?"

Fade nodded in response and hurried to the nearest facilities. Her anxiety was constricting and it didn't help that she could actually feel what they were feeling about her. She took the pills from her pocket and gulped another one down. She set the pills on the sink as she calmed herself down. Her breathing had started evening out but she still felt sick at the idea of walking out there again. After grabbing her pill bottle, she was shocked at how empty it felt. There was maybe a quarter of the bottle left. 'Have I been taking that many?' Fade thought and shook her head.

Walking out of the rest room, Neon was standing at the door with two plates of food in her hand. "Hey, I got us food. You want to eat in your room? Less people around." Smiled as she handed the plate to Fade.

Fade felt a huge weight off her shoulders, "That would be preferable, yes." Fade took the plate and felt guilty as they walked. "I'm sorry."

Neon looked curiously at her. "For what?"

Fade wasn't sure how to articulate why she felt bad, "For… I don't know. You like to socialize and I'm…weird, I guess"

Neon put a hand on her shoulder, "It's ok. I prefer to be with you right now anyway." Fade smiled back at Neon. "And we're all a little weird." The two giggled to each other and made it to Fade's room.

The room was messy as always which Neon just noticed despite being in here before. A basket of dirty clothes, all the plates she's given to Fade stacked up in a corner, haphazardly placed posters and a messy bed to boot. "Fade, do you need help cleaning? I can…"

Fade interrupted her abruptly, "No! No, I got it. It's just been a tiring few weeks, that's all." Fade had an over exaggerated smile that told Neon that she was lying. Neon knew what this all could mean and knowing about all that Fade was dealing with it wasn't a surprise to Neon.

"Ok, just sit on your bed?"

Fade shrugged, "It's that or the floor unfortunately."

Neon sat down on the edge of the bed while Fade took a seat by the pillows. "You don't have much furniture with you?"

Fade shook her head, "I was a street rat for most of my life. Always moving from place to place. I couldn't exactly carry furniture around with me."

Fade went to take a bite of her food when she noticed something familiar about it. It was the exact same dish that had been left outside of her room for the last week. "It was you?" Fade asked quietly as she realized.

"Hmm? What was me?" Neon asked casually as she dug into her food.

Fade looked up in shock at Neon, the electric agent looked back in confusion. Her brows furrowed in annoyance. "You! You've been leaving food outside my door!" Fade's expression grew angry.

Neon looked very worried at her. "Fade, I was worried about you. I…I just wanted to help."

Fade's irritation wouldn't hear it. Fade stood up and started pacing with heavy steps. "I don't need your help. I don't want your pity! I'm not a child!"

Neon stood up and held her hands up, "I don't think you're a child.. Fade, please…"

"Don't." Fade's breathing stopped for a second. Her mind raced with emotions as her anxiety about Neon's intentions became clear. "That's it isn't it? You just feel sorry for me."

"What? No! That's not true." Neon begged for Fade to believe her.

"The food, the sudden kindness…I thought you…" Fade breathed heavy again. "You don't care for me! I'm just a charity case to you!" Fade closed her fist and yelled in anger as she punched her wall to release her frustration. Neon jumped at the sound but didn't have any words she thought she could say. She stood and watched as Fade struggled to keep her composure. A single tear fell from Fade's eye and Fade took another breath, "I…I need you to leave."

Neon's eyes widened at the request and noticed the use of the word 'need' instead of 'want.' "Fade…"

"I said leave!" Fade screamed as she summoned the tendrils of the Nightmare from her and Prowler appeared in front of her as well as another creature in Fade's hand that Neon hadn't seen before. The tendrils surrounded Neon as Fade's teary and angry face jumped at her. Neon didn't flinch or move a muscle. Her eyes kept their focus on Fade's pained expression. Her heart was stabbed at the agony Fade was experiencing. Fade's hands trembled and the Prowler looked confused at her, not sure what Fade wanted her to do.

Neon couldn't say anything, her brain stopped moving as she just stared in sadness at how horribly wrong everything went. She backed away from Fade and walked out the door, closing it behind her. Fade's breathing grew more erratic the second Neon left and her shoulders shook as her breathing turned into a sob. Fade grabbed the plates left on the bed and threw them across the room, causing food to go everywhere. Fade started to tear her posters off the wall in a desperate need to destroy something, anything. The leftover plates were broken on the floor and her pillow was ripped apart. Fade screamed in frustration as the Nightmare latched on and heightened her emotions ten fold. Fade collapsed on the bed and twitched in pain as her vision blackened. Prowler's urges lurked but it resisted its need for Fade's Nightmare and instead headbutted the door. Fade's consciousness succumbed and she fell asleep once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world shifted in darkness around Fade, the streets of her home city of Istanbul came into view. The sights of Sage, Neon and her family were in front of her. Fade stood with a sharp pain in her left arm. Prowler was in front of her, ready to strike at those that she thought cared about her. Watcher, another amalgamation of her terrors, was summoned in her hand. It's piercing gaze scanning around her as she held him. Fade's breathing increased as she stared at the figures down the street. Betrayers, Manipulators, Liars. Fade's anger flared at their sight. 'To think they claimed to care for you'. A voice pounded in her head. Show them the true monster within. Fade's emotions exploded, she threw Watcher at them causing them to petrify in fear of the gaze. Prowler hunted, devouring each of them as blood ripped from their bodies. Fade consumed their fears in a knot and held them in place. Using her Nightmare to summon a shorty in the image of the Nightmare she walked menacingly at the ones she called friends. No matter what you do, things will never change. The voice pierced her ears again. 'Kill them. Show them real fear.'

Fade held her gun up to them, not particularly aiming at anyone specific. Her hand trembled.

Sage held her calm persona, not begging or fighting. She just sat with a sympathetic face. "I forgive you Fade. You belong with us. You don't have to be alone anymore." Fade shut her eyes to try and hold the tears.

The voice of her mother rang in her ears, "We just wanted to protect your little sister. We didn't think they would hurt you." Fade couldn't hold it in and opened her eyes with fierce anger as tears leaked out.

She pointed her gun at Neon who held her hands up in surrender. "I care for you. From the bottom of my heart. I just want you to be ok. Please, Fade." Fade's hand trembled more and more to the point where she couldn't control her finger enough to pull the trigger. She pulled back the gun and pointed the barrel at her temple. A loud scream came from her lips as she pulled the trigger.

'Valorant never wanted you. It's all a lie. Your own blood abandoned you, why wouldn't they? You're weak. You're worthless. You're a monster.' The cold harsh voice within her head pierced her mind. A voice she hears all too often. A voice that only got louder. 'You're better off dead, you know this doesn't get better. Even when you think you're close everything just pushes you back. How many times have you hurt the ones you've cared about? How long until you are truly alone?' The voice thumped in her head obnoxiously. She groaned at the headache she felt. 'It's you and me. Forever. They could never understand us. They could never understand you.' "Shut up!" Fade attempted to yell back in resistance but trembled as she did. 'How much more pain can you go through before you face reality? No one will love you like I do'. Fade yelled once more at the voice. "Shut. Up!"

Fade shouted as the darkness cleared and the familiar sight of her room came into her vision. She looked around in a panic of where she was. The room was cleaned spotless with all the stuff she destroyed gone from sight. Even her posters were taped back together. "Finally awake?" Fade jumped at the guttural voice in the corner of the room that was sitting in a chair behind her. Omen say there, looking as intense as ever. He sat forward in an alert position but he looked relaxed at the same time as if he preferred it. Fade swung her legs out of bed on the ground as she held onto the edge of the mattress to try and remember what happened.

She looked at Omen who seemed to be looking past her. "I haven't seen you around too often."

"We have some things in common, Dream Drifter." Omen retorted. Fade couldn't see his face no matter what angle Omen stood. It's like a mask is present that's covered in darkness but not at the same time. An anomaly? A man? No one could tell for sure. His whole body twitched in different places as he sat.

"Ya? And what's that?" Fade asked.

"We hide ourselves. So that others may not misunderstand us." Fade had to admit. That explained her feelings pretty well.

"What are you doing here?"

"Neon asked me to look after you."

"Why you?"

"I was walking by. So I assume it was more for convenience."

Fade cursed Neon, why does she keep this up? "I told her I don't need her help."

Omen hummed at the statement. "I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't need help."

Fade glared at Omen, "I will not let anyone think they need to take care of me. I'm perfectly capable. I'm not broken, dammit." Fade slammed her fist into the bed and groaned in frustration.

Omen just kept his gaze on her. "I used to think like you."

Fade scoffed. "We are not the same."

"Perhaps…but that does not mean we didn't think the same." Fade looked at him curiously. Where was he going with this? "You think you can't rely on anyone. You've been torn down enough to think that eventually everyone will abandon you. Your hatred for yourself keeps you from accepting the genuine actions of your peers."

Fade looked away sadly. It feels like she's being picked apart word by word. "It…it's not like that. It's nothing like that!" Fade desperately tried to convince him.

"As someone who felt lost and out of place. No past and a limited future. Have been torn down atom by atom to be poorly put back together and has colleagues that refuse to tell me what truly happened to me or who I am: trust me when I say that I know how you're feeling."

Fade looked at him again, her expression and resolve faltering as he continued. "So, I just pretend that everything is ok? That everyone isn't out to get me."

"Neon stayed with you through your nightmare." Fade's eyes grew wide with shock. "She held you as you struggled and after it was over, she cleaned up your mess piece by piece while you slept." Fade's cheeks burned and stomach swelled again. "If you want to believe she doesn't care for you, that's your burden to bear. And perhaps she does feel like she needs to help you. I don't see why that's a bad thing. Especially when people like us have yearned for help for most of our lives."

Fade hugged herself as her emotions ran rampant again in her head. Omen walked up and patted her shoulder. "I think you've been watched over. I must go now to help the Rift Walker." Omen walked out of the room and left Fade alone to stool over her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neon needed to think, needed to run off her frustrations. Frustration at hiding the fact that she brought her food. The frustration at failing Fade, again. She can't believe she thought it was a good idea and Fade was in pain because of her mistake. Passing by several agents who seemed to ask if she was ok but she ignored everything around her. She just needed to think.

She stormed into a training arena currently vacant and grabbed her personal frenzy from her locker. Using the terminal, she started a race regiment. Obstacles, jumps and traps laid out within the arena with various targets popping up. The goal of this regiment was to complete the track as fast and accurately as you could. Neon stood at the start line to wait for the green light. She took a long, heavy breath to release her emotions and to refocus on her new task.

A mere millisecond after the green light turned in, Neon bolted. Her first obstacle was a set of gaps she needed to either jump or wall run across, she preferred wall running. Just as she connected against its surface, 4 targets popped up above the opposite wall. Raising her gun above her, she swept her fire across the top and nailed every target with 8 bullets. She landed safely on the other side and kept sliding down the track. A large wall blocked most of the pathway, except for a 2 foot tall gap below the wall. Neon continued her sliding and as soon as she crossed under the wall she entered a box-like section. 2 more targets appeared above her as she slid and she burst-fired at each target, expending her magazine. She continued to slide to the other side of the wall and stopped. A minefield with 2 turrets on either side was the next obstacle. Neon threw her empty mag into the field and swapped a new one into her gun. The turrets aimed at the empty mag that was thrown and shot it apart. Neon bolted as they did. The remaining parts of the empty magazine landed on 2 mines and detonated them, giving Neon a safe path to take.

The turrets retargeted Neon and she fired off a couple shots at each one as she dodged and weaved. Each turret was destroyed and Neon sprinted through. Of the mines that went off, Neon was too fast for the explosion to affect her by the time it popped. The final obstacle on the other end of the minefield was a tightrope track. Falling off meant failure. Neon used her speed to keep balance in the rope but soon the track filled with a total of 13 targets to shoot. Neon fired off the rest of her magazine and knocked out 6. Using her radiant abilities she dispersed the last remaining targets and ended the track. The time leaderboard displayed that she got 4th best time with her in 2nd and 1st place. But she failed to get Jett's 3rd place time. She reset the track and ran it back.

She repeated the track 4 times and heard the door open. Jett walked through the doors and waved at her. "Hey, this is where you've been! I've been looking all over."

Neon still didn't feel her head was clear but waved to Jett, "Ya sorry, i needed to be alone for a little."

Jett grew suspicious, "And why is that?"

Neon waved a hand in dismissal, "Nothing, just… It's been a long day."

"Fair." Jett went to the terminal and started typing on it. "We saw you with…her earlier."

Neon groaned, "Look, Jett. The sooner you accept our friendship the sooner we can move on."

Jett huffed and crossed her arms. "I can't just move on from what she did." Jett stopped herself before saying more and breathed a quick breath. "I don't want to fight, ok? I just want to hang out like…like we used to."

Neon smiled at her. "Race me then?"

"Already ahead of you." Jett pushed the button and the track reset once again.

Jett and Neon were the fastest agents in the protocol, hands down. To Jett's dismay, Neon was just slightly faster and just barely pulled ahead of her every time. Jett had one advantage that Neon didn't, her Kunai. Jett didn't have to worry about limited ammunition and could fluidly attack targets without losing momentum. Neon could use her electric abilities to shoot the targets but that wore her out too much. Plus, her suit only allowed a limited amount of energy to flow through Neon.

The two raced the track three times with Neon beating Jett by less than a half a second each time. The two breathed heavily next to each other. Neon and Jett watched the leaderboard update and Neon jumped in victory. "Ah ha! I still got it."

Jett breathed out, "It takes me a second longer to get through that minefield." Jett giggled, " I'm still a better shot than you."

Neon rolled her eyes. A thought invaded her mind suddenly, "Hey, I…uh…heard about what happened between you and Fade."

Jett groaned, "I told you I don't want to argue."

"I don't want to either, but I have to know…did you do that because of me?"

Jett couldn't look her in the eye, an expression that Neon saw as shame donned her face. "She was taking you away from me." Neon didn't expect that answer. "She crossed the line with all of us, with me. But you still would rather be with her over me. I was angry. Upset." Jett crossed her arms and huddled in on herself. "And now I'm the bad guy. It's not fair."

Neon walked up to Jett and put a hand on her shoulder. "You're not the bad guy to me." Jett side glanced into Neon's eyes. "I don't prefer her over you. You're still the same Jett that makes me laugh at the stupidest things."

Jett smiled and rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I still want to be friends."

Neon laughed, "That's non-negotiable." Neon still didn't understand why Jett was so adamant to hurt Fade. "Jett, why are you so against Fade? I know what she did was wrong and she knows that too. Why is it so hard for you to try?"

Jett shrugged and looked back at the track, "I'll tell you what. Race me one more time. If you win, I'll tell you."

Neon smiled at her, "Ok, if you want to delay the inevitable."

"Oh, please…" Jett pressed the button on the terminal to reset the track.

The two went to the starting line again and both jumped at the green light simultaneously. Where Neon wall ran the gap, Jett dashed across. Where Neon slid underneath the box, Jett jumped over. Where Neon ran through the minefield, Jett flew over. In the final stretch, Jett was ahead of Neon with the latter catching up. Jett had a trick up her sleeve this time, however. She shifted right in front of Neon and pushed off of her, surging her forward and Neon backwards. Jett flew across the finish line while Neon was a full second behind.

Neon immediately protested, "Hey! You cheated."

Jett feigned ignorance, "Me? Cheat? I would never."

Neon shook her head at her friend's shenanigans, "Well…" Neon thought sadly. "...I guess this means I'll never know."

Jett saw her friend's dejected look and immediately improvised a reassurance. "I never told you what I get if I won." Neon looked at her, confused. "Fade gives me an apology, and I'll think about giving her a chance."

Neon's eyes lit up for joy, "Really? You mean it?"

"O-only because it would mean alot to you. I'm not doing this for her." Jett affirmed.

Neon nodded in understanding and jumped at Jett to hug her, "Thank you, thank you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'People like us have yearned for help for most of our lives'

Omen's words cemented themselves in Fade's head. She hadn't spoken to anyone for the last 3 days. Sitting in her room and entertaining Prowler with fetch while Watcher sat on her shoulders. She felt guilty ghosting everyone as they just started getting used to her, but she needed her time. Her anxiety made her feel trapped and caged. It made her feel like nothing she does matters. No one will see her for her.

But Omen's words…'I used to think like you. Your hatred for yourself keeps you from accepting the genuine actions of your peers.'

Fade sighed as she laid back down on her pillow. Prowler jumped up on Fade's stomach to lay the ball down on her side. "Maybe he's right, Prowler."

Fade spent much of her time thinking about Neon and how happy she felt when she looked at her. It felt like she was finally making progress after months of feeling alone. The thought of ruining everything because she couldn't keep her stupid anxiety in check made her feel juvenile again. Helpless. Fade's stomach growled again after not eating anything more than a few chips the last few days. "Neon went out of her way for me, and I yelled at her." The shame was too much to bear. She needed to get out of her room.

Reeling in Prowler and Watcher, Fade hurried out of her room. She had no idea where she was headed, she just wanted to keep moving. Would Neon ever forgive me again? I'm such a jerk. Fade's gloomy thoughts filled her head as she stared at the ground.

She was shaken out of her mindset by a petite figure standing in her way. Fade walked into them accidentally and looked up in shock, "Hey, watch it!" An annoyed Jett turned around to look at who walked into her. Her eyes grew wide at realizing it was Fade, "Oh, it's you!"

Fade felt paralyzed and just stared at Jett. Terrified that she'll say the wrong thing again and cause another confrontation. "I…I…um." Fade's mouth moved but her brain went numb. Her anxiety spiked and she started to shake a little as her breathing became heavy.

Jett looked at her in confusion, "What are you doing?"

Fade tried to answer clearly, "I-I should go. I'm just a little off right now." Fade attempted to walk around Jett and continued forward.

Jett reached out a hand and grabbed Fade's arm. "Wait a second."

Fade couldn't loon at Jett as her panic worsened. "I'm not in the m-mood today J-Jett. P-Please, just leave me alone."

Jett let go as she realized what was happening, "Whoa, you're shaking. Are you having a panic attack?"

Fade shook her head rapidly. "N-no. I'm fine. J-Just…please don't tell anyone about t-his." Fade attempted to keep going but Jett put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I have a brother with bad anxiety. It's ok, just breathe with me." Jett walked in front of Fade and urged her to sit down. Fade wanted to resist but succumbed to Jett's direction and sat down, Jett got behind her and pressed Fade's back into her chest. The position felt intimate and foreign to Fade as her face flushed with embarrassment that she was doing this with Jett of all people. "Just follow my breaths. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anybody." Jett gave her heavy and easy to replicate breaths for Fade to focus on. Fade soon fell into a rhythm that caused her shaking to stop and her lungs to fill with air. She felt much better but Jett didn't move even when it seemed that the attack had come and gone. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Fade finally gathered the courage to speak.

"Thank you. I…I've never had anyone help me with that before." Jett was surprised to hear that. Knowing her experiences with her little brother she knew how bad they could get. To think that Fade dealt with that alone tugged on her heart a little. Fade grabbed a bottle from her pocket and unscrewed the cap. It looked nearly empty. She took one pill from it's contents and swallowed it before putting the bottle back in her pocket.

"Ya, anytime." Jett stood up with Fade in the hallway and they stood awkwardly in front of each other. Their eyes wandered to anything other than them.

"Why did you help me? I thought you hated me?" Fade blurted out. She realized how out of character this was for Jett.

Jett scrunched her face as if she was annoyed at having to answer. "I do hate you. I…I think." Fade raised an eyebrow. "I don't know! Look, the only reason I'm talking to you is because Neon thinks you're cool. And I think she's cool soooo… here we are." Fade rubbed her arm, not knowing what to say. Jett noticed it was the arm she had hit with her kunai. "I'm sorry about your arm…and attacking you."

Fade shrugged, "I probably deserved it." Jett again was surprised by the response.

"No, you…what?!" Jett thought faster than she could speak. "That's not what you say to someone who tried to murder you!"

Fade looked at her worried. Confused on what Jett wanted her to say.

Jett's face grew more agitated and then she groaned, "Why must you make it hard to hate you?"

"What?" Fade couldn't believe she just heard that.

"You had me sized up to a T. You exposed my deepest feelings. You attacked a part of me that I hold close and I swore you would never get away with it. So why do I feel bad about it!?" Jett ranted passionately as her eyes started glossing over.

Fade just stood there and slowly became dejected by her words. "I'm sorry, Jett. If I could take it all back I would. Feeling everyone's fear is a constant reminder of how badly I screwed up." Fade hugged herself and prepared for another angry tirade but she just heard Jett grunt in frustration and felt a pair of arms wrap around her. Jett pulled her in close and Fade could feel wetness fall on her cheek as Jett buried her head in her shoulder. Jett shook slightly and Fade awkwardly hugged her back.

Jett spoke in a strained voice, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to do this but I promised Neon I would try to forgive you." Jett sniffed, "and, dammit, you're far from the monster I wanted you to be."

Fade couldn't have disagreed more, "You probably won't have to keep your promise. Neon hates me."

Jett pushed off of Fade and looked her dead in the eye with the biggest 'Are you serious?' face she had. "Fade, Neon adores you. What are you talking about?"

Fade's cheeks heated up at the assertion that Neon adores her. "But I…"

Jett shook her head, "Nope. I'm stopping you right there. Neon has been talking about you nonstop for the last three days." Fade's eyes widened. "She told me what happened and she's been worried. Like annoyingly worried."

"But, I'm the one who overreacted. I…"

"Don't tell me, you dunce. Go talk to her about it." Jett pointed towards the lounge signaling where she was. "And stop blaming yourself. You're both stupid." Fade obviously didn't think Jett was joking and looked at her with a pained face. "I'm just teasing you! You'll get used to that." Jett waved at Fade and started to walk in the other direction, "I have to go now. Good luck with your girlfriend."

Fade's cheeks heated up again, "She's not my…" Jett was far off before Fade could protest further and was left alone in the hallway to gather up more courage to face Neon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neon twiddled with her pawn as she thought of her next move, she was was 2 knights down but she had the queen right where she wanted it. It made more sense to her that Cypher plays this game in his off time. The chess table had an ai built in to it so anyone could play with or without a partner. Neon had Cypher teach her the basics and here she was practicing by herself. She didn't really mind, Fade was always fond of playing this game and she hoped to play with her… if she still wanted to be friends.

Just as she was about to move her bishop into position, the door to the lounge opened. Cypher wants to get his but kicked again, huh? Neon turned around to regard the morrocan agent. "Ready for another…" The timid figure of Fade was stood at the door. Her arms hugging her biceps and her eyes to the floor. "Fade?" Neon's eyes widened at the realization and she sprinted towards her. "It is you!" Fade looked shocked as Neon grappled her into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're ok. I'm so sorry for everything. I should have told about the food and I shouldn't have gone behind your back. I…"

Fade put her hands on either side of Neon's face and pulled her in front of her. Neon worried she did something wrong again until she felt a pair of lips clash into hers. Her eyes widened as she saw Fade kissing her, her tongue begging for entry. Neon obliged and fell into the kiss, relaxing all her muscles as she held her closer. Their tongues danced as soft moans echoed in the lounge. Soon they pulled away to breath and Fade immediately held a hand to her mouth and gasped. She turned away from Neon with the red cheeks as her. "I'm sorry… I should have asked. I just… I…" Neon cut her off again by grabbing her chin to move her face so that she could kiss her again. It was Fade's turn to hesitate before falling into another passionate kiss. Another half minute of pure bliss and they seperated again, breathing heavily.

Neon broke the silence between them. "You're not…mad at me?"

Fade slapped Neon's chest in a friendly gesture, "You should be mad at me! I completely overreacted! After everything you've done for me I still pushed you away. Who does that?"

Neon giggled at Fade who still had a serious, sad expression. "It's ok, Fade. I shouldn't have kept that from you and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

"If it wasn’t clear already that I forgave you then we might need to kiss again."

"I wouldn't mind." Neon moved closer to her.

Fade sheepishly turned her head which caused Neon to back up in fear. Fade grabbed her hip to pull her close again but kept her head turned. "I'm sorry for what I said. I'm not used to being cared for. I should have trusted you."

Neon smiled and kissed her cheek which made Fade turn towards her in surprise. Neon whispered, "I forgive you" before kissing her again. The two enjoyed the kiss about the same time as the others before pulling away.

Fade and Neon stared into each other's eyes lovingly for a few long moments. Fade looked at the chess table with curiosity. "Are you playing chess?"

Neon looked at the chess table surprised that she forgot about it. "Oh, ya. I've been practicing."

"What for? I've never seen you play."

"Well, I was hoping you and I could play together. I wanted to practice while you…needed time."

Fade held a gratful face, "You learned chess just for me?"

"Well ya, I know you like it and…" Fade pulled Neon into another kiss.

Fade pulled away and sat down by the chess table. "Come on! Lets play."

Neon sat down with her eventhough she would rather be doing something else with Fade.