Chapter Text
Oswald is just sitting waiting for Edward to get home. He hated the boredom he felt sitting and waiting. He would usually just call the other while this bored but Ed has a very strict schedule and this time in his schedule he’s driving he hated nothing more than people who used their phones and drived. So now he just sat and picked at his nails thinking of what to do when Edward got home. He’d found himself interested in the forensic’s games but his anger got the best of him and he nearly damaged the controller so he stopped not wanting to destroy his new friend’s stuff. The game was rigged anyways it wasn’t Oswald’s fault.
The former criminal was getting worried, it was only ten minutes after the time Edward was supposed to be home and if it were anyone else Oswald wouldn’t care they would just be late. But this was Edward who would never leave late or come home late especially without telling him. The anxiety started to dwell in his brain: what if someone at the GCPD caught onto the fact he was harbouring a criminal or on any of his other crimes. What if’s plagued his mind and he realised he’s never felt like this for any other person, never been scared when they took too long to get home, never thought about what to do when they got there, never wanted to be careful with their things to not make them upset. He has an actual real friend.
That’s when his friend walked into the apartment using only one hand to open the door and the other was behind his back. Oswald looked curiously trying to get a peak at the hidden hand but Edward was persistent.
“Edward, what are you hiding?” There was a small noise that sounded like a meow coming from Edward.
“Do you like cats, Os?” Ed asked, acting suspicious. But this was not the ‘I’m gonna kill you’ suspicious that Oswald was unfortunately used to but the 'I've done something don’t be mad at me’ suspicious.
“Do not tell me you have a cat in your hand right now.”
“Answer the question.” Ed seemed to be struggling to hold his hand completely behind his back biting his lip in pain as if the thing he was holding bit him too.
“Yes I like cats. Now show me your hands.”
So Edward took his hand from behind his back and carefully showed what he was holding to Oswald. A small tuxedo cat. It had a mostly black body with a white chest and white paws like it had socks on. Its face was black besides its mouth which was white and its nose which had white splotches on it. Its green eyes looked up at him. It was short haired but its winter coat made it seem fluffier than what it was.
“I’m glad you like cats because well um he’s a tuxedo so I instantly named him Mr. Penguin then I got attached to him now I would gladly die for him.”
Mr Penguin let out a little meow. Oswald’s heart warmed at the sight of it.
“And I didn’t want to just leave him out there it’s too cold for him to be outside and from my observations he only looks like he’s five maybe less months old and he’s completely abandoned just eating from the trash and I was gonna-“ Ed stopped ranting as he watched Oswald move his hand in front of the cat for him to sniff. Mr Penguin had a good look at his hand before rubbing his head against it looking for pats and Oswald felt obliged to comply.
“Ed, my friend. Mr Penguin would be a welcomed member of this household.” The elder Penguin reached out and patted the younger Penguin. The kittens' purrs were a welcomed sound. Edward observed the two and smiled to himself. Oswald looked up and saw the taller man smiling; he couldn't help himself to reciprocate the gesture, it felt oddly domestic. No not domestic this was just a normal friend activity.
“Would you mind taking care of him for a moment? I'll need to get something for him to eat! And a bed to sleep in. I should leave the pet shops shut soon.”
“Yes, of course hand him over.”
Edward placed the kitten in Oswald’s outstretched hands. The kitten stood up on its tiny paws and tried to jump out of his hands.
“No Mr Penguin!” The Penguin shouted, grabbing the kitten in one hand and placing him onto the bed softly. The bed was unmade and the pillows were out of place. Ed looked at the unkempt bed and frowned but Mr Penguin seemed to like hiding his head under the covers. He leant down and kissed the cat's forehead.
“I’ll be only a minute. What does a tree do when it’s ready to go?” Ed asks and then he leaves.
“Alright Mr Penguin, it's just you and me.” He lowers his head so he can make eye contact with the kitten who squints its eyes and headbutts him. In the seclusion of Edward's apartment, he lets out a giggle.
“You will tell nobody of what just happened, you hear me?” Oswald faked sternness but smiled as Mr Penguin simply yawned.
Half an hour later when Ed gets back he sees Mr Penguin taking charge of the household. The cat sits on Oswald’s chest who’s laying down on the bed on his back. Mr Penguin has his paws outstretched pressed on Oswald’s chin and his head tucked in between his legs. Oswald on the other hand is looking down to the best of his abilities at the cat and smiling.
“Oh I see you’ve made yourself acquainted.” He sets down a few bags on the counter. The noise of the bags setting down wakes the sleeping kitten up.
“Edward! You’ve woken him up!” Oswald yells louder than the bags that had caused Mr Penguin to wake up in first place before apologising to the cat for yelling. Mr Penguin didn’t seem too upset but both murderers felt bad for awakening the kitten.
“I’m deeply sorry Mr Penguin but I think you’ll be happy to see what I got you.” Edward pulls out a few cat bowls one was purple and one green both had black cat symbols on them. He poured kitten milk into one and placed it on the hardwood floor and went over to the tap and filled the other with water.
Mr Penguin went to town on the milk drinking it like that was the last milk on earth. He lifted his head when he was done and his fur was coated in milk.
“Oh what a silly feline. I’d bring down armies for him.”
“As would I, my friend.” Penguin agreed. The kitten let out a meow and both of them awed.
“We must protect him from the world.”
“And that we shall.” Oswald promised.
“He will grow into a fine soldier,” Edward joked as Mr Penguin attacked a stack of papers. A few flew around the room, and Ed quickly collected them and put them back in their place.
That was the first night Edward and Oswald slept in the bed together because Mr Penguin wanted to sleep next to both of them. They slept facing each other. Mr Penguin in the middle curled in a ball his tiny tail tucked into his body. Edward usually favoured the couch at least while Oswald was recovering but there wasn’t much he could do to go against Mr Penguins' choices, not with a face like that. So they lay beneath the checkered blanket and if their hands touched or their faces got close during the night neither of them mentioned it.
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The next morning Oswald woke to Edward making breakfast and Mr Penguin chowing down on some wet food. Edward was humming a familiar tune.
“Nothing will warm me more” he sang aloud.
“Than my, my mother love” Os joined in his voice a little croaky from sleep but still enthusiastic. Mr Penguin lifted his head and let out a couple meows to join in.
“I light another candle dry the tears from my face.” Edwards' phone rang interrupting their song.
“Hello, Edward Nygma speaking.” Ed lifted his phone to his ear and rested it in place with his shoulder using the other to flip the eggs on his pan. The sizzling of oil could be heard through the phone.
“Uh yes of course. Okey dokey I’ll be there in a jiffy.” Oswald was fond of Edward’s voice whenever he was talking to someone from work; it was much softer and a little dorky even. He said things like ‘okey dokey’ and ‘jiffy’ but when he was with Oswald he seemed much more natural. More comfortable.
“Good morning sleepyhead, that was work they asked if I could go in early you and Mr Penguin will be fine right? I’ll call during lunch.” Ed transferred the food to their plates before realising he might not have time to eat his and put it in the fridge instead. Oswald grabbed his own food and Ed handed him a knife and fork.
“Thank you Ed and yes of course me and Mr Penguin had a brilliant night last night I’d only assume the same thing would happen today.”
“I best be off goodbye Oswald and goodbye Mr Penguin.” The last bit was said in a much more childish voice as Ed leaned down to give me Penguin a kiss on the forehead before filling his purple bowl with food.
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Edward was sitting at his cluttered but still chaotically organised desk. He spent most of the morning at the most recent crime scene, a little mad that he had to leave so early for it but nonetheless still interested in the gruesome scene. The victim was a veterinarian which only mattered to Ed because it reminded him Mr Penguin needed to go to the vet. He had five minutes till his lunch break but in light of his recent criminal activities he felt devious enough to stop working and go to the captions office. Ed looks behind the half closed blinds seeing detective Gordon in a heated conversation with Captain Barnes. He decides he’ll come back after his break not being bothered to be in the middle of their discussion.
“Nygma! What is it?” Barnes yells out both officers watching him through the window.
“Captain Barnes, I was just hoping to take a day off tomorrow.” Edward said entering the office.
“An email would suffice Nygma.” The captain opens his computer and struggles but still tries to look at the employee calendar. His eyes squint and he reaches for his glasses. This was going to be a while.
“Sorry sir I’ve never taken personal time off before I didn’t know how.” Ed explained which was true: he's only really had this job and his delivery job in college and parts of high school and he’s never taken time off; he rarely even got sick enough that he needed to take his sick days.
“You’ve never had a day off?” Jim asked butting in.
“Uh no I have not.” Jim’s tone made him a little ashamed of the fact shrinking in on himself.
“So then why are you taking one now?”
“If you must know I’m taking my cat to the vet and we- I have to drive quite a while to get to his vet. There’s not many vets in Gotham and much less which seem ethical and safe.”
“You have a cat?” Jim questioned again. His questions were starting to annoy the taller man but Barnes was yet to confirm his request.
“Yes.” He’s short with answers hoping to throw the detective off who was just interested in small talk.
“Alright, Nygma you're off for tomorrow now get out.” Ed frowned at his rudeness but left without question he had to call Oswald anyways there was no reason to stick around.
Edward stood against the brick wall at the back of the precinct as he watched as dirty cops who had avoided Barnes’ stern hand were beating a suspect. Not even a criminal but a suspect. He took his phone out and called Oswald, looking away from the crime happening practically next to him. If Barnes had been a bit nicer to him then he might’ve reported those cops but alas he’d chosen to be a dick.
“Edward! My friend!” Oswald happily greeted.
“Oz hello. How’s Mr Penguin? I’ve managed to get a day off and book an appointment for the vet for him.”
“Oh, he is a being of chaos. He had a fit of energy and may or may not have knocked a few of your glasses on the ground but do not worry I swept it up and he is tuckered out now.” Oswald sounded a little panicked. It took Ed a moment to realise Os thought he would be mad. He didn’t know how to show he wasn’t so instead he just laughed a light laugh, one that sounded so natural compared to his usual maniacal laughter. Oswald’s smile could be heard through the phone.
Ed finally realised he’s never felt this way for another person before he’s never felt so comfortable so like himself around someone before. Oswald was different. On the contrary to what his coworkers thought he has had friends before but nothing like this, nobody like Oswald.
“Mr Penguin misses you. When he finally had a nap he slept on your pillow and he was looking around for you. He even tried checking under your blankets. Oh you should’ve seen him, his head was stuck under the covers. I was able to heroically rescue him though.” Oswald proudly boasted. Edwards' heart warmed at the idea of Mr Penguin searching for him then sleeping on his pillow. He only realised how widely he was smiling when his cheeks started to hurt.
“Wow you hero. You ever think about getting a job down here. This city needs you.” Sarcasm wasn’t Ed’s strong suit but it seemed to do as the Penguin huffed a laugh.
“Oh yes the vet appointment is tomorrow I take it you will join us? It’s quite a drive to the place I booked him in; it's just hard to trust any business in Gotham.”
“No, I would much prefer to stay here and do nothing all day.” Oswald was much better at sarcasm than him.
“Sarcasm?” Edward asked to be sure. He logically knew Oswald wanted to join them for the appointment but a little part of him wanted to be sure.
“Yes Ed.”
“And you're sure you’ll be fine? You're not feeling too much pain lately?”
“No, nothing out of the ordinary. I doubt a car ride is really gonna do me any damage though stop worrying.”
He spent the rest of his lunch on call with the other giggling when Mr Penguin meowed into the phone and self consciously covering his mouth then realising Oswald was giggling too feeling less ashamed and letting himself just laugh. Edward mentioned his previous encounter with Jim Gordon which started Oswald’s long rant on how he hates the detective. Edward took bites out of his triangle cut sandwich while Oswald continued just feeling content to sit and listen.
When Ed got back from break he didn’t even feel the pang of murderous rage when his coworkers side eyed him or laughed at him when he walked past. He was still giddy from his call; he felt like nothing could bother him. Edward didn’t even feel like this when it came to Kristen. The mention of Ms Kringle led to Edward’s sudden realisation.
Oh no he was in love with the Penguin.