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It's called "Family".

Summary:

Plo, as a good Best SpaceDad, gives advice, and as usual, things get out of hand.

Notes:

SkyguyJedi : Anakin Skywalker
Flirt-obi : Obi-Wan Kenobi
BadassMFW : Mace Windu
Cryptidtroll : Yoda
TheMenacemadeinConsellors : Depa Billaba
Themasterofparenting: Plo Koon
Huntress: Shaak Ti
Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Agen Kolar
Water&SmilesAreLife: Kit Fisto
Spaceismypeace: Saesee Tiin
Theidealisticbrainofthismess: Ki Adi Mundi
TheKing: Oppo Rancisis

Ad’ika1 : Wolffe.
Cometinthesky : Comet
I-Rex : Rex (et Ahsoka quand elle lui pique sa com XD)
Leavethispondsalone : Ponds

Work Text:

[Welcome to the Jedi High-Council chat # Parenthood # how to manage 10,000 Jedi without cracking and jumping off the Temple roof # how to manage the acquisition of more than 300,000 unexpected humans without adopting them all within the hour # yes Master Plo this one is for you]

[You are currently logged in as an anonymous observer, send a message to get noticed]

 

BadassMFW: @Themasterofparenting Help, I can't take it anymore, Ponds is sulking I don't know what to do.

Themasterofparenting: Wait, what?

TheMenacemadeinConsellors : What have you done again?

BadassMFW: Why "again"?

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: Hey, oh, we're not the ones having problems with our men!

Cryptidtroll: Agree with her, I do.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: Thank you Grandmaster!

TheMenacemadeinConsellors : No but seriously, what's the problem?

BadassMFW: ... he said I was too dramatic for him to handle that kind of osik and since then he hasn't answered anything but "on leave"!

BadassMFW: Dramatic, me!

Cryptidtroll: But dramatic… you are not? Understand, I do not.

Huntress: That's right, Mace is intense but clearly not dramatic!

Flirt-obi: He's actually pretty reasonable, one of the most reasonable Jedi you can find.

SkyguyJedi: What? Are you serious?

SkyguyJedi: He's so dramatic, it's crazy!

Flirt-obi: Anakin, did you look at yourself before you spoke?

Water&SmilesAreLife: Obi-Wan, did you really look at yourself before you criticized?

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Forget it Kit, it's the pot calling the kettle black.

BadassMFW: Quiet you gossips! I have an urgent matter to attend to, stop monopolizing the conversation to discuss the ridiculousness of Team Skywalker-Kenobi or Obi-Wan's utter hypocrisy, get out of here!

SkyguyJedi: Hey!

SkyguyJedi: I'm not being ridiculous! I'm so sick of hearing that!

I-Rex: But it's the truth.

SkyguyJedi: REX!

Huntress: I remember him, the blond kid!

Flirt-obi: That's the Captain of his company Torrent.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: Ooh that hurts.

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Now that's treason, this is where I'm glad I don't have a company

BadassMFW: What the hell, is anyone gonna listen to me?

Themasterofparenting: Don't worry my friend, I'm thinking about you.

BadassMFW: But I didn't really explain?

Themasterofparenting: I have over 5,000 sons, gossip travels fast, don't worry my sons handle Ponds.

Themasterofparenting: They are very kind to help me like this.

Ad'ika1: Buir, we have a visual for Ponds.

Cometinthesky: Ah. And he must be following this conversation because he just turned around.

Ad'ika1: Whatever, we'll take care of it.

Themasterofparenting: Thank you darlings!

SkyguyJedi : WHO STOLE HIS COM TO REX???!!!

SkyguyJedi : I just found him and he doesn't have it!

Water&SmilesAreLife : Maybe he's lying?

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Kriff, Kit, stop adding fuel to the fire...

Water&SmilesAreLife: I can't 😆

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Come here instead, I'll have a better use for your skilled fingers.

Water&SmilesAreLife: I'm coming, my dear!

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: 😳

Water&SmilesAreLife: I can't help it, Agen is hot as hell 🔥😉😍

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Hurry up and shut up.

Water&SmilesAreLife: Or what, are you going to occupy my mouth too? 😏

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: Seriously?! Don't say such indecent things here.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: I feel like a voyeuristic old man reading things like this.

TheKing: If you feel old, then imagine for me.

SkyguyJedi: No it's ok, Rex isn't lying.

SkyguyJedi: Why is it indecent? It's nice to get free massages.

Spaceismypeace: Oh Force.

Spaceismypeace: Now that's innocence.

Themasterofparenting: Naivety.

Themasterofparenting: And naivety is good, you have to preserve it in young people.

I-Rex: Stupidity.

SkyguyJedi: Kriff, are you still here?

I-Rex: Oh that's okay, calm down Skyguy, go check on Padme.

SkyguyJedi: Uh...

Themasterofparenting: Little Soka, my dear, how have you been since the last time?

I-Rex: Very well Master Plo, thank you!

Flirt-obi: Ahsoka?

I-Rex: Yep?

Flirt-obi : @SkyguyJedi has dropped everything to hunt you down.

I-Rex: He even dropped his comm?

Flirt-obi: Yes, even his lightsaber.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: Which is not very smart.

TheKing: Nor very careful.

Spaceismypeace: On the other hand, it's Skywalker.

Spaceismypeace: It must not have occurred to him that he might be able to get clues to his Padawan's location by spying on the conversation.

I-Rex: Yeah, I'm really lucky.

I-Rex: Him and Master Obi-Wan are always falling into all my traps.

Flirt-obi: That's absolutely not the case.

Huntress: That's right Obi-Wan, she's training to hunt.

Huntress: For your next targets though I'd recommend a clone with ARF training, they're harder to surprise.

I-Rex: Oh yeah, great idea, thanks! Big kisses to everyone!

      > I-Rex has logged out

Water&SmilesAreLife: I'm going too, Agen really needs a good massage

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Kit, I swear, stop talking!

Water&SmilesAreLife: 😘

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: I'll choke you with your damn tentacles.

Water&SmilesAreLife: Are you sure you wouldn't rather choke me on something else?

Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges: Actually, I do. Take your oil.

      > Chaoticloverofexplosivecharges has logged out.

Water&SmilesAreLife: ... oh my god.

Water&SmilesAreLife: Force. Oh my Force... did he really say what I think he just said?

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: I think he did.

Cryptidtroll: Yes.

Cryptidtroll: You'd better hurry, my Padawan.

Water&SmilesAreLife: Right away Master!

      > Water&SmilesAreLife has logged out.

Flirt-obi: I think I'd better go check on the kids.

Flirt-obi: See ya, I hope Ponds comes back in one piece!

      > Flirt-obi has logged off.

Leavethispondsalone: Ponds is tied up in the trunk of a speeder.

Leavethispondsalone: And he is NOT amused.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: What? Did I read that right?

Spaceismypeace: Poor man, don't worry, it will be over in about two hours.

Leavethispondsalone: Two hours?

Spaceismypeace: I have visions of the future.

Leavethispondsalone: Oh. I see.

Leavethispondsalone: Thank you for the information, General.

Spaceismypeace: You're welcome.

TheKing: ... Plo?

Themasterofparenting: Yes?

TheKing: Is this a common practice of your children?

Themasterofparenting: No, of course not.

Cryptidtroll: Yes.

Themasterofparenting: Well, common, common, it depends on your definition of common.

BadassMFW: As long as I get him back intact, I'm good.

Themasterofparenting: Of course, he is fine.

Themasterofparenting: Right, Wolffe?

Ad'ika1: Of course, Buir, in one piece and unharmed.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: I want it noted that I disapprove of any kidnapping of my children, even if they are returned to me in one piece and unharmed.

Spaceismypeace: When I think I'm reading a kidnapping negotiation...

Cryptidtroll: Because relax, you must.

Huntress: It's true that a little relaxation will surely do you good.

Spaceismypeace: No.

Cryptidtroll: Yes.

Spaceismypeace: NO. Hell no! I categorically refuse to be kidnapped to do Force-knows-what for who knows how long!

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: Oh you know it's not so bad, you'd probably be sent for a fly on a ship.

Spaceismypeace: I beg your pardon?

Huntress: I admit I am confused.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: My clones kidnapped me one afternoon and we had a really good time.

Huntress: Right, can we do that? Oh Force, I have something to do, I'm going!

      > Huntress has logged off.

TheKing: I predict a disappearance of Kamino cadets.

Spaceismypeace: I agree.

TheKing: And do you confirm your own kidnapping by clones over-protective for tired Jedi?

      > Spaceismypeaces has logged off.

Cryptidtroll: Saw it, I believe he did.

Cryptidtroll: Idiot, that is. Motivated, the clones are.

Cryptidtroll: Adorable, they are.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: Right, have you seen those little faces and big eyes?

TheKing: Well... since the drama seems to have subsided, I'll leave you to it and get back to my nap.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: Why don't you just turn off your com?

TheKing: And miss my daily dose of drama?

TheKing: No, the drama of Master Yoda's Lineage is too exciting to miss.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: It sure is! Between Skywalker, Obi-Wan, Master Mace and Kit, we really have a chaotic Lineage!

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: And I love it!

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: Oh yes, Master Yoda, I have an Initiate in mind to be my Padawan, meet me at the Crèche!

BadassMFW: And why don't I know about this?! What a betrayal!

Cryptidtroll: There, I will be.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: I'll let you deal with Ponds instead, we'll talk later.

TheMenacemadeinConsellors: See you later!

      > TheMenacemadeinConsellors has logged out

      > Cryptidtroll has logged out

Ad'ika1: Operation completed.

Cometinthesky: Successful, of course.

Themasterofparenting: Perfect! Mace, it's okay, meet me at our barracks, we'll start the therapy.

BadassMFW: Therapy?

Themasterofparenting: Family therapy of course, I'm afraid Ponds is feeling a bit neglected at the moment.

Leavethispondsalone: That would be perfectly ridiculous of me and unworthy of my position.

Themasterofparenting: He really needs a hug, hurry up.

      > BadassMFW has logged off.

Theidealisticbrainofthismess: What a drama, I swear, I've never seen anything like it.

TheKing: Sure, but at least they're entertaining.

TheKing: I'm going to bed.

TheKing: They've made me too tired, don't wake me up for the next twenty hours.