Archive of Our Own

Eddie and Dustin aren’t in the trailer, and the makeshift rope looks like it’s been cut, lying in a heap on the floor beneath the gate. Steve’s stomach lurches. He almost throws up, probably would if he’d actually eaten anything recently. Instead he dry heaves twice, until he’s left trying to catch his breath.

If anything happened to them, if anything happened to that kid--he can’t even think about it. 

He told them. He told them, diversion, nothing else. Don’t be a hero, he’d said--

And then he’d left them here. He’d left them to face those demobats, and they’d gotten in and torn the place up and there are a few dead ones but there’s no way the two of them on their own could have held them off, no way. No way they could’ve outrun them either…

He’s only saved from his spiral when a quiet voice says, “Um, Steve?”

He turns, and her face is hard to read. “Yeah, Robin?”

“N…Nancy found them. Dustin’s alive, but…Well I think you’d better come.”

Steve’s emotions are a whirlwind as he follows Robin. There’s an overwhelming sense of relief that Dustin is alive, and a growing sense of dread, cold and gnawing at his insides and it only grows colder when they reach Nancy. She’s standing with her arms wrapped around herself and there are tears in her eyes, and Steve follows her gaze.

Dustin is a little ways off, but even at this distance Steve can hear him--loud, heavy sobs that make his heart ache and he knows immediately, what he’d suspected deep down coming into sharp, horrible clarity. Tears prick at eyes and he hangs his head. 

“Jesus…Eddie.” 

“I thought--” Nancy’s voice cracks and she swallows hard. “I thought maybe you should talk to him.”

“I…” The sound barely comes out, and Steve has to take a minute. 

God, when did this become his life? He’d never even been to a funeral before Bob...He winces at the memory of the service, and of Hopper’s. Of everyone’s grief, but especially Mrs. Byers, and poor Will, and El…He’d felt so out of place, somehow, like he hadn’t earned being there. Like he didn’t have the right to feel sad when others were so much sadder.

“I don’t even--” Steve looks helplessly between Robin and Nancy. “What do I say? What if I say the wrong thing, what if--what if I make it worse?”

“You’re not going to make it worse,” Nancy says softly. “He just needs to know he’s not alone.”

“That small dork idolizes you, Harrington,” Robin adds. 

Steve lets out a long exhale. “I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

Robin shrugs slowly. “Maybe he doesn’t need strong.” 

Steve’s not sure he understands, because just going over there is going to take a hell of a lot of strength, but he nods.

“Okay.”

And he starts walking. He hates this. He hates all of this. He hates demobats and he hates Vecna and he hates that half of Hawkins thinks Eddie is some kind of Satanic murderer and he hates, he fucking hates the Upside Down but most of all he hates the keening sounds he hears coming from Dustin. 

He hates that Dustin had to go through this alone. 

He doesn’t want to see the look on his face.

It gets harder to keep himself together the closer he gets. He finds himself taking deep, shaking breaths, and swallowing over and over as he tries to shove down the lump in his throat. He moves quietly, and Dustin doesn’t look up as Steve approaches. 

The kid’s head is bowed, eyes squeezed shut, and he’s cradling Eddie and knowing was one thing but seeing him is another matter entirely. 

The air is sucked from Steve’s lungs as he takes in the sight of Eddie Munson, covered in blood, his eyes wide, staring, lifeless and vacant, his face slack, his expression so far removed from the vibrancy Steve had grown to enjoy in the short time they’d known each other. His chest aches. 

He can only imagine what Dustin is feeling right now.

“Hey, Henderson.”

The kid startles so badly that Steve jumps a little, too, and he puts his hands up instinctively as he shuffles forward. 

“It’s just me.”

“Steve,” Dustin wails, and the sobs grow louder as he clutches at the front of Eddie’s shirt with one hand. “I--I couldn’t stop ‘im.” He can barely get the words out, his breath hitching as he struggles to talk around the crying. “I tried but he--he wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t stop ‘im!”

“He saved us,” Steve says. He doesn’t know if it’s true, not for certain, but he says it anyway as he kneels down next to Dustin and puts a hand on his shoulder. It doesn’t matter if he knows or not, Dustin needs to believe it. “Hey. He--he saved us.”

Dustin nods and sniffs loudly, turning to look at Steve through puffy eyes. “He was good.”

“Yeah, he was.” The tears are threatening to spill over. Deep breath. “He was.”

Dustin takes a shaky breath. He’s looking at Eddie again, fresh tears starting to roll down his dirt-smudged cheeks. He’s heart broken, and Steve doesn’t know how to fix it. He feels utterly fucking useless. 

Maybe he doesn’t need strong.

Steve thinks he might understand now what Robin was saying. He can’t fix it. He can’t fix that Henderson had to be alone when Eddie…

He can’t fix it, but he can make sure Dustin knows he isn’t alone now.

“I’m…” His lower lip starts to shake, but he doesn’t try to stop it this time. “I’m so sorry you had to be here.” He lets the tears fall now, tightening his grip on Dustin. “You shouldn’t’ve had to be here.”

“None of us should have to be here,” Dustin mutters. “It’s not fair.”

He turns and buries his face in Steve’s chest, and Steve is only startled for a second before he returns the embrace. 

“No, it’s not,” he murmurs back. They sit like that for awhile, holding each other and crying and eventually Dustin’s sobs die down until all that’s left is hiccups. 

“Hey, guys.” Nancy’s voice is gentle, almost apprehensive, and Steve and Dustin look up. “We have to go. We can’t stay here, it’s not safe.”

Steve stands, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes before extending a hand to Dustin. “C’mon, Henderson.”

“How…how are we going to get Eddie out?”

Steve locks eyes with Nancy and her expression is clear. Steve lets out a long sigh, running his hand down his face. 

“ Fuck, ” he breathes.

This shitty night just keeps getting shittier.

“What?” Dustin is staring at Steve, wide-eyed. He looks to Nancy and then back at Steve. “Steve, what? ”

Steve opens his mouth to answer, but Nancy beats him to it.

“We can’t take Eddie with us, Dustin. I’m so sorry.”

Dustin’s eyes manage to open even wider, face pulling down into a frown. “Steve?”

“She’s right, man. The longer we stay down here, the more dangerous it is. And we don’t know what’s going on with Lucas and Max and Erica, and there was all that shaking earlier…We have to go.”

Dustin’s chin starts to wobble and he shakes his head, fist tightening around Eddie’s shirt. “No. No, I won’t leave him.”

“Dustin…” Nancy begins. 

“No!” Dustin snaps. “No way, no way Steve, he--he saved us, he--I’m not leaving him! We can’t leave him here!”

Steve runs both hands through his grimy hair and takes a steadying breath. He doesn’t like it either, wouldn’t even consider leaving Eddie in this hellhole if there were any other option, but there’s not. And it tears him up inside, but it’s not about him right now. 

“C’mon, Henderson.”

Dustin just shakes his head, and doesn’t stop. He’s not looking at Steve any more, his gaze fixed somewhere in the distance, jaw set in determination. “Mm-mm.”

“Please, Dustin, we have to get out of here.” Nancy takes a step forward. “I know you care about him--”

“I loved him!” Dustin cries, and the surprise Steve feels is mirrored in Nancy’s expression. Dustin is crying again. “He’s my friend.”

Steve bends down, grabbing Dustin’s arms as firmly as he can without being too forceful. “C’mon, buddy,” he says, and starts to stand in an attempt to haul Dustin to his feet. 

“Get off!” Dustin flails as he shouts, and his elbow catches the still-healing wound in Steve’s side that, until now, had gone forgotten. 

He certainly remembers now, staggering backward with a cry that’s equal parts startled and pained as agony laces through him, his vision going dark at the edges. He can feel the wet warmth of fresh blood, and maybe it’s because it’s combined with the emotional and physical exhaustion that he’s been trying to ignore but the sensation is enough to make him dizzy, and he falls to his knees.

“Steve!” Dustin scrambles to his feet, wincing as he does. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it!”

Steve waves a hand. “Hey, I’m fine! I’m fine.” He looks up at Nancy, at her worried expression, and tells her, too. “I’m fine…” And then he turns his attention back to Dustin. His face is pinched and he seems to be favoring one leg. “Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing. Look, I’ll…I’ll go. But there’s something we need to do first, please. Please. Just hear me out.”

xxx 

Nancy is in the least worst shape, so she’s the one who rides back to the trailer. She comes back with Robin, and with Eddie’s electric guitar. 

Dustin doesn’t cry when he closes Eddie’s eyes, or when he places the guitar on his chest and gently, ever so gently, crosses his arms over the neck. He’s the only one. Steve doesn’t know if it’s because the kid doesn’t have any tears left, or if maybe it’s Dustin trying to be strong for Eddie. But when he stands, his eyes are dry, and he nods with a stoicism that seems so out of place on his kid face. 

“Eddie was a hero,” he says. He looks like he wants to say more, wrestles with it for a second, and then deflates a little. “Let’s go.”

“C’mere,” Steve says. Dustin limps over and Steve grabs his arm, pulling it around his neck to take some of the weight off his hurt ankle.

“I’m fine,” Dustin insists, but he doesn’t pull away. 

“Yeah, I know you are.”

He and Dustin and Robin and Nancy head back to the gate. There’s no sense of triumph. No congratulatory nudges or jokes. Instead, there’s a heaviness, a bleakness that matches the surroundings. Robin and Nancy pull ahead a little ways, and they’re walking close together, arms brushing. Under different circumstances, Steve would probably be thinking how nice it is that they’re getting along. When they’re far enough ahead that Steve thinks they won’t be able to hear, he looks down at Dustin.

“Hey. I’ve been thinking about it, and, uh. He cut the rope, didn’t he? You got out and he wanted to keep you there. But you came back. Yeah? That how you hurt your ankle?”

Dustin doesn’t look at him, but he nods once. 

“You came back for Eddie.” Saying his name hurts. He suspects that may be the case for a long time to come. 

“But I couldn’t save ‘im.”

“No…no. I don’t think anyone could have. But because of you--because you’re stubborn and decided to ignore everything I told you--”

Dustin looks at him sharply. 

“Let me finish,” Steve says gently. “Because you’re brave , Eddie wasn’t alone when he--” Died . It gets stuck in his throat, and it feels like he may choke on it. It’s just a word, so why can’t he say it? “He didn’t have to spend his last moments alone. That makes you a hero in my book.”

Dustin doesn’t look convinced, but the expression on his face softens a little. “Thanks, Steve.”

Steve doesn’t know what they’re going to find once they make it out, has no idea what the world--what Hawkins--is going to look like up top. He knows things’ll be a bit dimmer, though, without Eddie. A little less…what was it? A little less metal .

He tightens his grips on Dustin. 

“Hang in there, kid.” He says it again, and maybe this time it’s a little bit for himself as well. “Hang in there.”

xxx