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Everything, Roman knew, would work out once he met his soulmate.
That was how love worked. That was how life worked. That’s what everyone had always told him. His parents had met in high school and fallen in love just like they were supposed to. His best friend Logan had met Patton and they’d fallen in love just like they were supposed to. Even his brother had fallen in love with Janus just like he was supposed to. And they were all so much happier afterwards. Granted, they’d all been doing okay beforehand, and Roman was… oh, but that didn’t matter! Roman didn’t have to worry! Because one day he’d meet Virgil Storm and then he’d be totally fine! Because that was how it worked!
Until then, he’d just ignore the disappointed looks from his parents when he went home for the holidays, as if expecting him to somehow control when he met his soulmate. He’d ignore the worried looks from his brother and his friends, as if they thought he could do something to make life move faster, to make his life start already. He’d ignore the looks he got every time he explained to someone that yes, he was graduating college this year, and no, he hadn’t met his soulmate yet.
He’d ignore it all and he’d be fine. Because it was only a matter of time, and then he’d actually be fine. Then he’d have his soulmate, and everything would be okay.
Unfortunately, whether that day came next week or next decade, he couldn’t spend all the time in between focusing on it. He had classes to pass, careers to build, and bills to pay. The last thing on that list was why he was here.
He’d gotten the job as something that would pay those bills until he hopefully got his first acting job. (His prospects there, at least, were looking much more promising than his prospects in his love life. He had auditions coming up in a few months for roles he could do in his sleep.) Selling coffee wasn’t exactly the dream, but he could be friendly and he could sell things and he could run a cash register. Besides, it was temporary. Just like being single.
On his first day, he was handed his apron and nametag and directed towards the person who was going to train him, who for some reason was not wearing a name tag and leaning on his elbow behind the counter and looked like he’d rather be anywhere else in existence.
Even so, Roman put on his best smile and walked over to him. “Hello! I’m Roman! May I ask who has the honor of training me on this lovely Tuesday?”
The person turned a gaze on Roman that had about all the grace of a feral raccoon, and then turned back towards the counter. “We open in fifteen minutes,” he said. “Talk to me when that happens.”
“Oh, well, I mean I think I should probably know some of what to do before that happens?” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck.
The person groaned, and pushed himself up to a standing position. “Fine,” he said. “Listen closely, I won’t be repeating this. Regular coffee cups are over there, coffee is in those huge-ass heater things, we sell mugs for fifteen bucks, yes that’s overpriced but you can’t say that to the customers, all of the creams are over there including whipped cream and other toppings for shitty fancy crap that doesn’t even count as coffee, all the prices are on the wall behind me, it’s your first day so I’m making you do all the hard chores.” With that, he flopped back down onto his elbow. “If you have questions, keep ‘em to yourself.”
“Uh, what’s your name?” Roman asked, feeling a little offended.
“What did I just say?” the person snapped, glaring up at him. “I intentionally don’t wear a name tag so people don’t know my name, why would I then tell you upon asking?”
“Because it’s polite?”
The person blew a raspberry. “I just sell coffee to customers, and we’re just coworkers, no one involved in those interactions needs to know my name.”
“Okay then, you’re rude,” Roman said, rolling his eyes and moving away to look for everything the person had pointed out. Coffee cups, giant heater-looking things that held coffee, creams, prices that he’d have to work on memorizing. He had no idea where the mugs they apparently sold for too-high prices were. Maybe he’d ask someone else.
Roman gave the person at the counter a distasteful look. Anyone else would do, really.
A little while later, the person went up and flipped the sign around to open, then moved back behind the counter.
No one was there immediately, but it didn’t take long for people to start trickling through the doors, and as soon as they did, Emo Feral Raccoon Person immediately turned into a completely different person.
“Hi, what can I get you today?” he asked, putting on a pleasant smile that almost gave Roman whiplash.
He’d been instructed to watch for a little while to get a feel for how things worked, so he watched as Emo Man helped the first couple people in line, then he moved to try helping the next person at the other register.
“Hi, what can I get you?” he asked. Naturally, the customer rambled off a list of things that all somehow went into one coffee, and Roman immediately felt in over his head.
Thankfully, it seemed Emo Man wasn’t a completely horrible person, because he headed over to the register the second the customer started talking.
“Sorry sir, it’s his first day, so I’ll be helping out a little bit,” he said. “Can you run through that one more time?”
The customer, looking irritated, did so, and then Roman followed Emo Man as he made the coffee, taking note of everything while he did, and then turned to face the next customer as soon as he finished.
Thankfully, this person just ordered a black coffee, which Roman was able to take care of.
He fell into a groove eventually, and while Emo Man had to help with an occasional complicated order, Roman felt he did pretty well for his first day.
The coffee shop didn’t close until 9:00 that night, meaning since this was just a training shift for Roman, someone was going to relieve him around lunchtime. But about half an hour before that happened the manager Carol appeared from the back during a time the store was empty.
She tapped Emo Man on the shoulder. “Virgil, take the trash bags out, would you?” she asked, and suddenly Roman couldn’t breathe.
“Wait a second,” he said, and both of them turned to face him. “Your name is Virgil?”
Virgil glared at Carol. “See now why’d you have to let him know that?”
“No, no, I—” Roman waved his hands. “Virgil Storm?”
Virgil got a very suspicious look on his face. “Who’s asking?”
Roman reached for his shirt and pulled his sleeve up, revealing his wrist. “Uh. Roman Prince?”
Both Virgil and Carol’s eyes widened, and a second later Carol clapped her hands together, starting to smile. “Oh! Never mind about the trash bags Virgil, you can take your fifteen minute break now!”
“Oh, no,” Virgil said instantly, turning towards the trash cans. “Those things are overflowing, let me handle them.”
“Virgil,” Carol said, giving him a strained smile. “You can take your fifteen minute break now.”
“I don’t want to take my fifteen minute break, Carol,” Virgil said, giving just as strained a smile back.
“Well, I simply insist,” Carol said, widening her smile. “Virgil, show Roman where the break area is please.”
“But I don’t—” Virgil groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “If someone’s up there after all, now would be a perfect time to strike me down.”
“Uh… did I do something wrong?” Roman asked hesitantly, trying to shove down the massive pile of nerves this whole interaction was bringing.
“Nope,” Virgil said, sounding very done. “Let’s go to the break area, hurray…”
Roman’s hands started shaking a little as he followed Virgil.
They headed to a spot in the back that had some falling apart chairs and table, and Virgil sank into one, crossing his arms.
“Look,” he said, giving Roman a very done stare. “I appreciate that the universe is trying to hand me a gift wrapped relationship or whatever, but I’m not looking for a partner right now.”
Roman’s hands were definitely shaking. He swallowed. “What?”
“I mean I just…” Virgil ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know you very well, dude. And no offense, but it doesn’t really seem like we have a ton in common.” He gestured between his outfit of all black and Roman’s bright red shirt and light blue jeans.
“I…” Roman’s mouth felt dry all of a sudden. “But… but we’re soulmates.”
“So?” Virgil flopped back in his chair. “That means I owe you something?”
“But—” Roman next breath came in wheezy, and suddenly he was finding it really difficult to stand.
It took Virgil a second, but he seemed to notice this, and he turned widening eyes up to Roman.
“Wait. Oh, holy shit. Are you okay?”
Roman put a hand to his chest, trying to breathe past the strangled feeling now building up in his chest.
“I don’t… understand,” Roman wheezed out, sinking into a chair. “That’s not how this… how it works.”
“I…” Virgil held his hands up, not seeming like he knew quite what to do. “Uh… fuck. Dude, I don’t… I don’t know you, man. It’s nothing personal. I don’t… I just don’t want to date anyone. It’s nothing against you, I… shit. Okay, okay, come here.” He grabbed Roman’s hands and started tapping out a rhythm on them. “Can you breathe to that pattern? You really shouldn’t be gasping this much dude, it’s not good.”
Roman tried to do just that, but it was a little difficult when his world was sitting in front of him and telling him that he didn’t want him. Virgil was supposed to make everything okay. What was he supposed to do if Virgil didn’t make everything okay?
“Roman, hey.” Virgil snapped his fingers in front of his eyes. “Can you hear me?”
He definitely couldn’t, and a second later Virgil disappeared, which didn’t help with anything. What were his parents going to say? What were Logan and Patton and Janus and Remus going to say? What was he supposed to do now?
A second later he felt a shock of cold on his forehead, and he managed to pull back to see Virgil holding an ice cube out in front of him and looking more than a little guilty.
Virgil held the ice cube out to Roman, who took it and pressed it to his forehead, trying to focus in on that until he could slow his breathing and lean back in the chair.
“Okay, so… I could have done that way better,” Virgil said weakly. “I… shit, I’m sorry.”
Roman shook his head. “I don’t understand,” he said. “I don’t understand, you’re my soulmate.”
Virgil looked away uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. “I… I don’t want a soulmate,” he said hesitantly, and Roman’s world fell out from under his feet again.
“You… but why?” he asked.
“Dude, I just… it doesn’t sound like something that would make me happy,” Virgil said.
“It doesn’t…” Roman trailed off weakly. He leaned forward to lean his elbows on his knees as he tried to process that.
“Look,” Virgil said, shifting on his feet. “I’m sorry. I… I think I need to go get back to work. You can stay until my friend Remy gets here to take over for you. I’ll let Carol know. I won’t tell her about the… yeah.”
And with that, Virgil walked away and left Roman’s world to crumble around him.
…
Janus and Remus were both playing video games when Roman got home. He lived with them for right now, because it was way more expensive if you didn’t room with your soulmates, but Roman hadn’t met…
“Hey Ro!” Remus called without looking as Roman shut the door after him. “How’s the job?”
Roman looked over at the couch. Janus and Remus had moved his blankets, and turned the futon back into a couch so they could play video games. They’d erased Roman’s presence just like that. Was that what everyone else was going to do now too? Was that what his parents were going to do? Was Logan going to find a new best friend, one who was actually worth something? Was Remus going to find a new brother, one who wouldn’t be sleeping on his couch forever because no one else wanted him?
“Ro?” Remus said, starting to glance back over, and Roman realized he hadn’t said anything for a good ten seconds.
“Oh, yeah,” he said, trying to inject some emotion into his voice that wasn’t despair. “Yeah it’s… good. I’m just tired. I’m gonna go lay down for a bit.”
“Oh, okay, cool!” Remus called. “You can use our room! We might grab dinner out later, I’ll let you know if we do.”
“Okay,” Roman said, desperately hoping that they wouldn’t.
He went back to Remus and Janus’ room and curled up miserably under their covers. He’d dreamed of the day that he’d get to move into a place of his own with his soulmate. Now… what was he going to do now?
Virgil didn’t want him. Virgil, his saving grace, the one who was supposed to make everything okay. Okay with his parents, okay with his brother, okay with his friends, okay with him. What in the world did a life for Roman Prince mean without Virgil Storm?
Was he going to have to couchsurf with his brother forever, and watch him and Janus live the life he wanted to have with his soulmate? Was he going to continue to be a huge disappointment to Mom and Dad, who had always placed such importance on soulmates? Was he going to have to be alone, forever?
Roman pulled out his phone, trying to quiet the rushing thoughts in his head, and looked up “Help my soulmate doesn’t want me.”
Results that came up ranged from support groups, to therapists, to advice articles, but the overall advice was generally, horrifyingly, the same: If your soulmate doesn’t want you, you can’t force it.
Many articles also talked about things working themselves out in time, but even those started by saying there often wasn’t much you could do. The only places Roman saw people saying there was something you could do were people essentially advocating for manipulation and abuse, with more flowery and disguised terms. For obvious reasons, Roman wasn’t going to do that.
But that meant it was sounding suspiciously like he was going to be… alone. Alone. How was he supposed to deal with that?
A knock sounded on the door, and immediately Roman’s brain shouted at him that right now he was going to deal with it by telling no one.
“Roman?” Remus called.
“Yeah?” Roman called back, putting on his practiced fake smile and the customer service voice he’d spent the morning developing.
“I think we’re just gonna grab some fast food, come talk about what you want, okay?”
“On my way!” Roman called brightly, heading towards the door as Remus started back towards the kitchen.
Fake it till you make it wasn’t a terrible start.
…
Virgil seemed understandably uncomfortable when Roman came into work again the next day. Roman gave him the best smile he could muster and walked up to lean against the other counter, trying to seem as casual as possible.
“Hey,” Virgil said, doing the vocal equivalent of shooting finger guns. “How… how are you?”
“I’m ready to help some customers!” Roman said with probably the fakest smile to ever exist.
Predictably, Virgil winced. “Hey, look, I really am sorry about yesterday. It was kind of shitty of me to not consider that you were probably expecting—”
“Oh, water under the bridge,” Roman said, waving his hand dismissively.
“Are you sure? You don’t really have panic attacks about stuff that’s water under the bridge the day after.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Roman said, clenching his hands tightly on the counter. “Besides, we’re opening soon and I still have a ton of questions about how things work around here.”
Virgil bit his lip, still looking unsure, but he nodded. “Okay. Uh, shoot.”
Roman managed to fill the rest of the time before they opened with questions about how various things worked, and it had the effect of not letting Virgil talk about the whole “crushing Roman’s entire hopes and dreams” situation that happened yesterday, as well as meaning that by the time the doors opened, Roman actually did feel like he had a handle for what to do. That was probably good, because tomorrow started his actual shifts, which would be much longer and come with one of those dreaded fifteen minute breaks.
Roman, after a little while, managed to lose himself in the work throughout the day, and by the time he left again, he’d at least gone most of the shift without thinking about Virgil.
As soon as he left, however, all of the thoughts came rushing back, and he knew for a fact he couldn’t go home and see his brother’s perfect soulmate story right now.
He pulled out his phone and called Logan, who answered after his usual two rings.
“Roman, you’re off work I presume?” Logan asked.
“Yep! Want to do something just the two of us like old times before you met Patton?”
“I… suppose?” Logan said. “What would you like to do?”
“Let’s go to the planetarium,” Roman said, because that would distract Logan enough that he wouldn’t ask Roman what was wrong.
Sure enough, Logan immediately agreed, and started talking much faster and more excitedly as Roman made his way to the car. In another couple minutes, they were both on their way, and since Roman was much closer, he was free to have his breakdown in the car once he got there and make sure he still looked presentable before Logan showed up.
He let himself space out to the sound of his best friend’s excited voice as they walked through the planetarium, and really only managed to not get lost because he was hanging off of Logan’s arm the whole time. His distraction plan worked, though, and Logan never once asked him what was wrong.
Roman was probably hoping a bit too far to think he wouldn’t notice something though. He just had a different way of calling attention to things.
“Roman,” Logan said as they were leaving, and Roman glanced back at him.
“I appreciate this,” Logan said with a smile. “This was a nice surprise. I hope you know how much I enjoy spending time with you, whether we’re doing something, or,” he raised an eyebrow slightly. “Just talking.”
Roman nodded weakly. “Thanks, Pocket Protector. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Logan nodded again, and they both headed their separate ways. Roman pulled out his phone to get directions back home, because he could never quite remember the way, and winced when he saw five missed calls from Remus.
He hadn’t told him where he was going, had he?
Roman hit “call back” and held the phone up to his ear. Remus answered on the first ring.
“Hey Re,” Roman said weakly.
“Where the hell are you?” Remus asked. “I thought you were coming back home!”
“I just went with Logan to the planetarium,” Roman said, holding up his hand, though Remus couldn’t see it. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you.”
Remus sighed, part irritated and part relieved. “Ro, we were waiting for you here.”
“What? Waiting for me? Why?”
“Just get back here, dummy,” Remus said, and hung up.
Roman gave the phone a curious look, but went to navigate to directions, and got home about half an hour later.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see when he walked in, but it definitely wasn’t Janus and Remus both sitting at the dining area table with a huge cake that read “Congrats On The New Job Dummy!”
“What…” Roman said, giving them both baffled looks. “I started yesterday.”
“Yeah, but this was your last training day, right?” Remus said with a grin. “So we got you a cake to celebrate your shift into seven hour shifts with not enough time to rest or sit down!”
Roman blinked at the cake for a minute, and Remus and Janus both smiled at him and picked it up to display it a little.
“Oh,” Roman said, swallowing past a lump in his throat. “Okay.”
He walked forward before either Remus or Janus could ask about the tone of his voice and plastered a giant smile on his face. “Thanks, guys,” he said, and at least he really meant that part. “This means a lot.”
“Course, dummy,” Remus said, leaning forward and ruffling his hair. “You know we’re proud of you, right?”
Roman swallowed past a bigger lump in his throat and widened his smile.
“I’ll go get a large sharp knife now!” Remus called happily, and started for the kitchen.
“Oh lord,” Roman muttered.
“I think I should supervise that,” Janus said with a smirk at Roman. “But good job, Roman.”
“Thanks Janus,” Roman said with a smaller smile up at him.
Janus picked up the cake and headed into the kitchen with Remus to get a knife, and Roman pulled out his phone again to avoid focusing on all the emotions rushing through him right now. He could deal with them later.
Unfortunately, it seemed Logan wasn’t going to let that be the case, because on his phone was a text from him.
Logan: I had quite a bit of fun with you today Roman. I hope we can do that again sometime. You are an enjoyable person to spend time with.
Roman set his phone down, called that he was going to the bathroom, and vanished down the hall.
As soon as he made it to the bathroom, he shut and locked the door. He managed to make his way over to the toilet and sit down on top of it before he started sobbing quietly into his hands.
Okay. Maybe he’d been a little wrong.
Maybe he wouldn’t be alone alone.
…
Next time, it felt a little easier to talk to Virgil. And now that it didn’t feel quite so raw, Roman really did have questions for him. So, when there was a break between customers and they were restocking supplies, Roman glanced over and called, “Virgil?”
Virgil glanced back at him. “Yeah?”
“Can I… can I ask why you don’t want a soulmate?”
Virgil immediately looked away uncomfortably.
“You don’t have to answer,” Roman said quickly, despite how desperate he was to know.
“It’s really that big of a deal?” Virgil asked, looking hesitantly back over at him. “It’s really that big of a deal to just… not be looking for a partner right now?”
“Right now?” Roman asked, and suddenly he could see a wall go up in Virgil’s eyes.
“Hey,” he said immediately, leaning away. “Don’t count on it.”
Roman bit his lip and looked away. “But why?” he asked.
“Because I don’t like the idea that I owe so much to someone I barely know,” Virgil said. “I don’t like the idea of changing my life for someone who isn’t me. Before I know if we’re compatible, before I know how they’ll treat me, before I know if I like them as a person.”
“But…” Roman shook his head in confusion. “We’re soulmates.”
“So?”
“So doesn’t all of that stuff kind of… work itself out?”
Virgil’s gaze darkened. “Says who?”
Roman blinked in surprise. He didn’t know how to answer that.
Before he could even try, the bell rang, and Virgil turned around to help the customer that came through the door.
And Roman wasn’t sure why, but he found himself unable to stop thinking about what Virgil said. Did he really not believe that they’d be compatible, or that he’d like Roman as a person, or… that Roman would treat him well?
Was that the issue? Because he would treat Virgil well. He’d been dreaming about having a soulmate his whole life, of course he’d treat Virgil well. When they both got off at around 3:00, Roman brought this up to Virgil.
“You know,” he said, as they both started towards the staff parking lot. “If you’re worried about how I’m going to treat you, I can assure you—”
“Ugh, no, oh my god!” Virgil groaned, throwing his hands up. “See, this? This is what drives me crazy. You focused on that reason? I’m not worried that you wouldn’t treat me well. I’m honestly far more worried about whether or not we’d be compatible.”
“But…” Roman gave him a baffled look. “We’re soulmates.”
“I. Don’t. Know. You,” Virgil said firmly. “The fact that we’re soulmates does not automatically mean we’re going to work out.”
“Of course it does,” Roman said in confusion.
“Really? You don’t know stories about people whose relationships with their soulmates fell apart? You don’t know people who were soulmates with someone that just did not make sense for them? You don’t know someone who was treated badly by their soulmate? And that’s not my main point, so don’t focus on that again,” Virgil snapped as Roman opened his mouth.
“My point is,” he said as he reached his car. “Having a universe stamp of approval does not mean people don’t have to put in work to make relationships work. Ask yourself this. Do you really care about who I am as a person, or do you just know I’m your soulmate?”
Roman stared at him. “What?”
“See you tomorrow,” Virgil said, and climbed into his car.
Roman walked over to his car too, but he sat in it and didn’t leave for a while.
What… what did he know about Virgil? He knew he worked in a coffee shop. He knew he could be a little rude. He knew he was Roman’s soulmate. And… and…
Roman’s eyes widened. That was it.
Oh, Roman didn’t like that feeling at all.
…
“I’m an actor,” Roman said, during a pause the next day.
Virgil looked over at him. “What?”
“I’m an actor,” Roman said. “I have a few auditions coming in a couple months. I want to act.”
Virgil stared at him. “Good for you?”
“What do you want to do?”
Virgil narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?”
“Because… you said I didn’t know anything about you,” Roman admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “And you were right. So I’m trying to amend that.”
Virgil narrowed his eyes further. “I’m not going to date you, Roman.”
Roman winced. “I… I know,” he said, though the idea hurt badly to admit. “That’s not why I’m asking.”
Virgil didn’t look like he quite believed him, but after a second, he said, “I’m a songwriter.”
Roman lit up. “You’re a poet?”
“What? No, I— I mean, I guess technically. But that’s not exactly how I’d describe it. Besides,” He closed the box of creams he was restocking and gestured around them. “Doesn’t really pay that well.”
“Neither does having an acting degree,” Roman said with a small smile, and Virgil snorted.
The bell jingled, and Roman turned to help the customer coming in while Virgil put the creams away.
It was the part of the day when things slowed down, meaning no one came in after that customer left and Roman could turn back to Virgil.
“What are the chances I could hear one of your songs?” he asked.
“About as high as the chances of getting a date,” Virgil said, patting Roman on the shoulder as he walked past to start another batch of coffee.
Roman winced again, though thankfully Virgil didn’t see it that time. That still stung. But it wasn’t… it wasn’t Virgil’s fault. Roman would get over it eventually.
And in the meantime, that didn’t mean he couldn’t still enjoy Virgil’s company as a friend and have that be good too. Because once Roman started asking, it turns out there were a ton of great things about Virgil.
“Wait. A. Second,” Roman said, slamming his hands down on the counter one day, as soon as the last customer in line left and he recognized what Virgil was humming. “Is that Poor Unfortunate Souls?”
“What? No,” Virgil said immediately, turning away from Roman.
“It is. Oh my god, it is! Virgil, that sounds so good!”
“I was humming dude, it didn’t sound that good,” Virgil muttered, ducking his head down.
“Except it did though!” Roman said, clapping his hands together. “And now since you’ve brought it up totally intentionally, we’re going to talk Disney!”
“You like Disney?” Virgil asked, glancing over at him.
“I’m a gay man trying to work in theatre, Virgil, I don’t know why you’re surprised.”
“Well, I— oh, shut up.”
“But I’m guessing your tone of voice means that you like Disney too, so go on then.” Roman leaned his hand onto his chin. “Favorite movie, favorite villain, favorite song.”
“The Black Cauldron, Ursula, and Sally’s Song.”
“Sally’s Song?”
“It counts! And that movie was sick!”
“Hm, I can’t deny that,” Roman admitted with a shrug.
“Alright, your turn then,” Virgil said, crossing his arms.
“I can’t choose amongst any of my darling babies!” Roman said, pressing a hand to his chest.
“What? Dude, unfair, you made me pick!”
“Hey!” called a voice from the back, and both Virgil and Roman winced and turned around.
“You don’t get paid to stand around and talk,” Carol said with her hands on her hips. “Back to work, both of you.”
Both of them did turn back around, but as Virgil was about to start over to the fridge, he leaned over to Roman and hissed “Cheater.”
Roman gasped in offense and spun around, but Virgil was already gone.
…
“Evanescence? Really?” Roman asked, wrinkling his nose slightly.
“Hey, don’t judge it before you try it,” Virgil said, writing down the amount of cups they had left on the inventory sheet. The shop wasn’t technically closed, but they closed in five minutes, and the place was already dead, so they’d started inventory, and had gotten to talking about music while they did so.
“Besides, most of what you listen to is musicals,” Virgil said.
“I’m an actor.”
“Your point being?”
“That you’re an angsty teenager trapped in an adult’s body,” Roman said.
“Why thank you,” Virgil said, smirking over at him. “Now go count the stir sticks.”
Roman stuck his tongue out but went to do just that.
“Besides,” Virgil said, and Roman perked up to listen. “Too much mainstream music is about soulmates.”
Roman tensed slightly, but kept moving as normally as he could. “What’s so wrong with that?”
“Nothing, I guess,” Virgil said, though it somehow sounded like he was wrinkling his nose. “It’s just… everywhere. You’re telling me you don’t notice?”
“I… like soulmate songs,” Roman said, setting the first pile of stir sticks aside. “I think they’re sweet.”
“Some of them are alright,” Virgil said. “But then there’s ones that talk about soulmates completing each other, and being two parts of a whole, and just… ugh.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Roman asked curiously, glancing over at Virgil.
“I’m supposed to wait for someone else to make me complete?” Virgil asked, turning and leaning back against the counter. “Fuck that noise. I don’t want to wait for someone else to start living my life.”
Roman suddenly couldn’t breathe quite right. “You… but you don’t have to do that, though,” he said weakly.
“No, but that’s why I hate those songs,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “I’m enough all by myself, thank you very much.”
Roman blinked, and now he couldn’t breathe for a very different reason. “You really think that?” he asked.
Virgil raised an eyebrow, and Roman immediately backtracked.
“No, that’s not— I don’t mean I’m questioning you,” he said. “I just mean… that’s kind of… cool.”
“Uh. Thanks, I guess,” Virgil said, turning back around. “I mean, I’m not saying I have super high self esteem, or something like that. Lord knows I don’t. But… I don’t need someone else to be a whole, complete person.”
Roman blinked again, looking down at the floor. “Yeah?” he asked.
“What, you think I need you in order to be complete?” Virgil asked, shooting a smirk over his shoulder.
Roman laughed at the idea. “Definitely not,” he said with a small grin, and Virgil grinned back.
There was a stretch of silence, and Roman turned back around.
“You don’t need me to be complete either, you know,” Virgil said, and Roman went still.
“That goes both ways,” Virgil said.
“Yeah,” Roman muttered, gathering up the stir sticks.
“Hey, I mean it, dummy,” Virgil said, walking suddenly up alongside him, and causing Roman to look over. “You had a life before you met me. That life is not any less real or important because I wasn’t in it.”
Roman looked at him for a second, but didn’t say anything, and eventually, Virgil turned away.
“Why are soulmates so important to you anyway?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Roman said quietly. He almost said that they were important to everyone. But then… that wasn’t true. They weren’t important to Virgil. And that wasn’t… why they were important to him. They were important to him because… because of the disappointment in his parents eyes. Because of the worry in his friends’ and his brother’s.
“My brother has his soulmate,” he said. “My best friend has his soulmate. I just have… no one.”
“No, you have your brother and your best friend,” Virgil said, giving him a look. “They count.”
“Not to my parents,” Roman said with a light chuckle.
“Then your parents fucking suck,” Virgil said, and Roman coughed in surprise.
“Virgil!”
“What? They do. Your worth doesn’t depend on whether or not you have a soulmate.”
Roman stopped and leaned back against the counter. “No one’s ever told me that before,” he said quietly.
“Well it’s about time someone did then,” Virgil said.
Roman looked up and saw real sympathy in his eyes. He bit his lip. “I really like you Virgil,” he said, and when Virgil tensed, he continued.
“Not as a soulmate,” he said, and Virgil relaxed. “I just mean… you’re… good.”
“I’m good?” Virgil asked, smirking.
“Shut up, you just dropped like six existential questions on me, you can’t expect my words to work!” Roman exclaimed, and Virgil laughed.
“Well, you’re good too, Roman,” Virgil said, and his eyes were sparkling a little bit, and Roman smiled at him, his chest feeling warm.
This… was not what he’d expected having a soulmate to be. But the part of him that wasn’t aching kind of liked this better.
…
Remus and him weren’t really the type to talk about deep things. Roman could count on one hand the times that it had happened, in all honesty. Which is why it was understandable Remus gave him a baffled look when Roman asked him over breakfast that Saturday why he was dating Janus.
Or maybe that was the fact that to him, the question might not be so deep. Roman was beginning to realize it wasn’t common for people to think about why they dated their soulmates.
This second assumption was proven right a second later when Remus said, “Uh, cause he’s my soulmate? You feeling okay, Ro?”
“No, that’s not exactly what I meant,” Roman said, but now he was realizing he didn’t know how to ask what he really wanted to hear an answer to.
Had conversations about soulmates used to be this difficult? Or was this just Virgil’s fault?
“What do you mean then?” Remus asked, still looking baffled.
Roman thought for a minute, then hesitantly asked, “What do you like about Janus?”
Remus’ eyes lit up, and at least he didn’t look confused anymore. “Oh, he’s witty, and he’s sarcastic, and he’s caring in his own super weird way, and he’s weird, and he likes being weird, and he likes that I’m weird! And he knows exactly how to make me laugh, and he knows all my favorite foods, and he’s fucking gorgeous. And he’s also really good at sex—”
“Okay, I did not need that last bit, Remus!” Roman exclaimed, and Remus cackled.
“But honestly, what don’t I like about Janus?” he said, leaning over onto his elbow, with a slightly dreamy smile, and Roman couldn’t help but smile too at how happy he looked.
“Do you think you work well together?” he asked.
But that didn’t work, because now Remus just gave another look of confusion. “Well, yeah,” he said. “We’re soulmates.”
Roman’s displeasure must have shown on his face, because now Remus just looked even more confused. “What did I say wrong?”
“I… I don’t know, exactly,” Roman said. “I just… did you only start dating Janus because he was your soulmate?”
Remus blinked. “Are you looking for another reason?”
Roman sat back in his chair. “I… I think I might be,” he said, but more to himself than to Remus. “I mean, Remus… would you still love Janus even if he wasn’t your soulmate?”
“Uh, yeah,” Remus said. “Duh.”
“But you only started dating him because he was your soulmate.”
“Yeah, and?”
“You’re certain you would have still fallen for him, would have still noticed him, without your soulmarks?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t like that question.”
Roman gave a short laugh. “You and me both,” he muttered.
Remus stared at him. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing. I’m just thinking about a lot of things for the first time,” Roman said, standing up.
“Why?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Roman said, waving Remus off and heading over towards the futon. “Just something a coworker asked me the other day.”
“You’re thinking about this stuff because of a coworker?” Remus asked.
Roman turned back around, biting his lip. “A friend,” he amended, because it felt right, and explaining to Remus everything that was going on felt like way too much effort at this point.
That didn’t mean he was done, though. And this time, when he pulled out his phone to text Logan, he asked the same question with intention.
Roman: Hey Logan, why did you start dating Patton?
There was a moment before Logan responded, and when he did, it was what Roman expected, but not exactly what he wanted to hear.
Logan: Because he is my soulmate. I’m sorry, I think I’m a little confused by this question, Roman. Is that what you meant to ask?
Roman huffed and flopped back on the couch. He was starting to really dislike this. Why was it that this was bothering him so much all of a sudden? If he and Virgil had started dating the moment they met, Roman would likely have given the exact same response— that he started dating Virgil because he was his soulmate. But now that felt like a problem, and no one else saw it as such, and he didn’t even understand why it felt like that to him.
But then again… maybe there was a way to bring them all on this confusing journey with him?
Roman: Can you and Patton come over here? I have something to tell you all.
…
It was just before lunch that everyone managed to get there, and they all seemed awake enough to talk (even Janus, though he was largely the reason it took a while). They all sat at the kitchen table, and Roman looked out at all of them and tried to figure out where to start.
“So,” he said. “On my first day at work, I met Virgil.”
Immediately everyone’s faces brightened, and Roman realized he definitely shouldn’t have stared it that way.
“No, wait,” he said, holding up his hands. “This isn’t a good thing. Or— or it is, it definitely is, but it’s also not, and it’s also confusing, and also I’m starting to think soulmates aren’t exactly all they’re claimed to be. Oh, but no offense to you guys! I’m not talking about you guys I’m just talking about… I don’t know what I’m talking about. But it’s weird and it’s confusing and also I think this is ultimately going to be a good thing and… yeah.”
Everyone was staring at him in bafflement, and Roman couldn’t exactly blame them.
“Uh, okay, let me start over,” he said.
“Please do,” Janus said.
“So uh… Virgil doesn’t want to date me.”
Everyone’s eyes snapped open in shock.
“What?” Remus said, looking almost angry. “That’s ridiculous! You’re you, you’re totally worth it!”
“Remus, he’s not required to date me,” Roman said, crossing his arms.
“But why wouldn’t he want to?” Patton asked in confusion. “You’re soulmates.”
“Yeah,” Roman said, looking up thoughtfully. “Yeah, we are. And I think I’m starting to realize that doesn’t… that doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Now everyone just looked confused again. God, why did this have to be so hard?
“No, just listen,” Roman said. “I… I’ve been wanting to meet Virgil like he’s an oasis in a desert. I thought meeting him was going to fix all of my problems and my life would just fall into place. But that’s… not fair. That’s too much to put on Virgil, not when he doesn’t know me. And even if he did know me! I can’t expect someone else to solve all my problems for me.”
“But… you’re soulmates,” Patton said again.
“We are, but…” Roman struggled for the words for a second. Eventually, he turned to face Remus. “Look, you said you think I’m worth it, right? Worth what exactly?”
Remus blinked. “Uh, I don’t know. Worth dating? Worth trying for?”
“But that still requires the trying part,” Roman said.
Remus nodded slowly. “So… you and Virgil are going to start dating later?”
“No,” Roman said, shaking his head. “Because trying doesn’t automatically mean succeeding. And Virgil doesn’t want to date me. And I’m not going to force him.”
“But you want to date him,” Janus said. “Don’t you?”
“I…” Roman hesitated. His automatic response was yes, but for some reason that didn’t feel right. “I do… but I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t understand it all either. Look, I just…” He sighed.
After a second, he looked back around at everyone. “Did you… did you guys care about me less before I met Virgil?”
“What? No, that’s ridiculous,” Remus said, and everyone else nodded in agreement.
“Really? Because I think I kinda did.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “What? Roman—”
“I mean, you know what Mom and Dad are like,” Roman said, glancing at Remus. “And you all—” he gestured around— “have each other. I think I was holding onto Virgil like an ideal of that, and not really… trying to care about myself in the meantime.”
“Roman,” Patton said in concern, jumping up and moving around the table so he could wrap his arms around him.
Roman squeezed him back, but then pulled back as something else clicked in his head. “And that was part of the problem,” he said, looking around. “I didn’t want to date Virgil. I wanted to date my soulmate.”
Now everyone looked confused again.
“Roman, Virgil is your soulmate,” Logan said.
“Yes, but I wanted to date the ideal, remember?” Roman said. “I wanted what a soulmate would give to me. Mom and Dad’s respect, and all the happiness you guys have. I didn’t actually care about getting to know Virgil.”
“And… now?” Janus asked hesitantly.
Roman smiled widely. “Now he’s a friend that I really like,” Roman said. “And that… well, I think that will be good enough for me. Not now, it still kind of… it still kind of aches. But I think it will be.”
Patton leaned in and wrapped his arms around him again. “We do not need you to be dating Virgil in order to love you,” he murmured to Roman.
Roman reached out and squeezed him back. After a second, Remus joined the hug from the other side, and then Logan, and then Janus.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize that’s how you were feeling, Ro-bro,” Remus said into his shoulder. “You know Mom and Dad are just stupid sometimes, right?”
“Well… no,” Roman admitted. “But I’m getting there.”
“Okay,” Remus said, squeezing him tighter.
“Ack, Remus, you’re squeezing my throat,” Roman wheezed.
“Choking is how I show love.”
“Can we move to the couch?”
“Absolutely, I call a movie night!” Patton called.
“It’s 11AM,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.
“Movie morning, then,” Patton said, waving his hand dismissively.
“I’ll make some popcorn then,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses as he stood up. “I’ll meet you all there.”
“Roman, you get to choose the movie!” Patton called, grabbing Roman by the arm and dragging him towards the futon.
“He’ll just pick something Disney,” Remus groaned as he followed him.
“Yes, and you love me for it,” Roman said with a grin at him.
And as they all settled down on the futon, and Roman pulled up Frozen, he found himself wondering how he ever thought he needed a faceless soulmate to fix these already amazing relationships.
…
It took a while, but Roman did start feeling better about himself. It came with a lot of validation from his friends, which now included Virgil, and skipping going home for the holidays, using work as an excuse.
He had gotten some paying roles, including some of the ones he’d been trying for when he first started working at the coffee shop, but he was still working there for a number of reasons.
One of them was money, because the roles he’d gotten weren’t enough to support him full time, and the other was… Virgil. Because the universe was cruel, and the moment he’d decided he was okay, really okay, with not dating His Soulmate, he’d realized that now he just kind of really, really wanted to date Virgil.
And that was just unfair.
In all honesty, it wasn’t a huge problem. He’d meant it when he said being friends with Virgil would be good enough for him. Because friendship with Virgil was amazing. He was clever and snarky and arguing with him (respectfully) was actually really fun. When they’d started hanging out outside of work, they’d discovered that they could find common ground in enjoying going to shows, even if Virgil didn’t love acting in them like Roman did.
“I am a techie or an audience member, and don’t you forget it,” he said.
Roman also discovered that he could enjoy going to concerts with Virgil, yes, even Evanescence ones. It was just fun. Really, really fun.
They actually did still talk about soulmates from time to time, but now it was closer to the lines of friendly debates and complaining (because yes, once Roman started paying attention, there really were way too many soulmate songs). They almost never brought up the fact that they were soulmates anymore. It didn’t seem important.
Roman had noticed Virgil giving him strange looks from time to time, but he hadn’t thought much of it. There had usually been some other kind of context he could attribute it to. And he knew by this point that if it was something really important, they’d talk about it.
…And they ended up doing just that.
It finally came up one night when they had a closing shift together and were doing inventory in the coffee shop.
Roman was humming one of Virgil’s songs that he’d finally been allowed to listen to, and he wasn’t really paying a ton of attention as he was moving from task to task. This unfortunately meant that as he finished dumping out the coffee and set the now empty containers aside, he turned and ran right into Virgil, who was holding an armful of coffee cups.
“Shit,” Virgil said, ducking down to pick them all up.
“Sorry Virgil,” Roman said, doing the same. They each gathered up half of the pile, but then when they moved to stand up, they ended up standing inches from each other, practically nose to nose.
And Virgil made just about the most adorable squeak Roman had ever heard and ducked away from him.
Well, then. What was that?
“Virgil?” Roman asked, following him over to the other side of the room where the coffee cups were kept. “Virgil, are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” Virgil said, his voice sounding much higher in pitch than it usually did.
“Are you sure, because you—”
“Roman,” Virgil snapped, unfortunately turning around and ending up right up against Roman’s nose again.
“I—” Virgil said weakly. “I just—”
Roman started to grin. “Virgil,” he said, adding a slight tease to his tone. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re acting like you have a cru—”
“Don’t,” Virgil snapped. “Don’t say it.”
“Say what?” Roman asked innocently. “Crush? Say that you’re acting like you’ve got a little crush on m—”
“Roman,” Virgil said, burying his hands in his hair, which is when Roman realized they were shaking.
“Woah, hang on,” Roman said, putting his armful of cups down and pulling Virgil’s hands down from his hair. “Virgil, are you okay?”
“No!” Virgil snapped. “I’m not okay! I’m a fucking hypocrite, Roman!”
He turned and stormed over to the break area, then sank into a chair and buried his head in his hands.
Roman blinked at him for a second, before slowly walking over. “And why exactly are you a hypocrite?” he asked.
“I talk so much,” Virgil said, dragging his hands through his hair. “I talk so much about how you shouldn’t date your soulmate just because the universe shoves them at you! But it’s just talk! It’s just talk because then the universe shoved you at me and I just fucking—” He buried his head in his hands again. “I’m just such a fucking hypocrite,” he mumbled.
“Virgil,” Roman said, smiling a little despite himself. “You’re not a hypocrite.”
“No? Because I think it would be really great to date you, Roman!” Virgil said, looking up at him. “That’s what I think! I think I like you and I think I’d like to date you! And I gave you so much grief about that when we first met, and I was just slow to get with the program, I guess!”
“Hey, woah,” Roman said, sitting down across from Virgil. “I am so glad we did not date when we first met. I was not in the right place for that, Virgil.”
Virgil grumbled something unintelligible.
“Virgil,” Roman said. “Can I ask you something?”
Virgil pulled his head up. “What?”
“Do you want to date me because I’m your soulmate?”
“What?” Virgil wrinkled his nose. “No. It’s cause you’re Roman, dummy. You’re smart and you’re creative and you’re talented and you’re sweet and—”
Roman raised an eyebrow, and Virgil swallowed.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh,” Roman said with a slightly teasing smile. “Besides, Virgil, the freedom to not date your soulmate doesn’t mean much if you’re not also free to date your soulmate if you want to.”
“I just— I told myself for my whole life I wasn’t going to do that,” Virgil muttered.
“Well, I told myself for my whole life that I was,” Roman said with a shrug. “Your turn.”
Virgil snorted. “Asshole.”
“Aww, you know you love me.”
Virgil laughed again, and looked hopefully up at Roman. “You— what does that all mean then?”
“It means I think I’d really like to be yours,” Roman said, leaning closer. “Not your soulmate. Just your Roman.”
Virgil’s eyes were shining. “I think I’d really like to be your Virgil too,” he said, leaning in. He looked unsure for another second. “And if the world thinks we’re just doing this because we’re soulmates?”
“Then the world is being just as stupid as it always is,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. “We don’t have to let it dictate what we do.”
Virgil started smiling. “Okay,” he said. “Would you kiss me then?”
“With pleasure,” Roman crooned, and he leaned in and cupped the side of Virgil’s face.