Chapter Text
Alibaba: I know you’re alive.
Alibaba: There’s no point in ignoring me.
Alibaba: Blocking me just proves you’re reading these. It wont stop me.
Alibaba: Fine. Ignore me if you want. But there’s something you should know.
Alibaba: I’m gonna just send you some screenshots.
Alibaba: [Image]
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Joker: Today on how god fucked with my life, we have this!
Joker: [Image]
Panther: Awwww, so cute!
Fox: Truly an example of beautiful innocence!
Skull: Who’s kid is that?
Joker: Mine? Apparently?
Skull: The eff? When did you make a kid???
Joker: I didn’t? Lavenza found her in the Velvet Room. “A contingency plan should the god of control fail in his plight. A child created to be a powerful Trickster to carry out his plans, raised to think as he does.” or smthn
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Alibaba: I’ll skip to the next bit.
Alibaba: Why you need to know.
Alibaba: [Image]
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Skull: So, shes not a clone. But the moms not any of the PT girls. C’mon man, who else is there?
Fox: Surely it is not Lavenza.
Joker: No.
Queen: I suppose, if it’s none of us, it’s not really our business. If Ren doesn’t want to share the identity of his child’s mother, he doesn’t have to.
Queen: But Ren, have you thought this through? The mother deserves to know, and has obligations towards her.
Noir: Does she? Ordinarily I would agree that the parents have a duty to the child. But this child wasn’t created in a traditional way, no choices were made on either party that could’ve led to a child’s creation.
Oracle: Kid still deserves a mom.
Queen: I agree.
Joker : No mom.
Oracle: So she’s a kinda clone? Like, mixed your DNA or whatever to make her?
Queen: I suppose that’s theoretically possible…. Though it would seem easier just to use two distinct genomes.
Joker: Two genomes.
Skull: So there is a mom? I’m confused dude.
Joker: No mom.
Skull: Just answer the question already! I’m super curious now.
Panther : It’s not like she was made from two guys
Joker: ….
Skull: No way
Skull: Please tell me I’m not the mom…
Joker: You’re not the mom, Ryuji
Skull: Thank eff for that! No offense man, i’m just not ready for a kid!
Oracle: OMG INARI??!!??
Fox: I will happily claim and assist you in rearing the child, should you require a second parent.
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Alibaba: dw, there’s more.
Alibaba: A LOT more in the chat. But I’ll just send you the stuff you need to know.
Alibaba: [Image]
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Joker: DNA test came back. She’s definitely mine.
Oracle: Woah dude.
Joker: Yep. Woah. My parents are gonna flip. Think Sojiro will take me back?
Oracle : In a heartbeat. You gonna tell the others?
Joker: Yeah. Eventually. But I was hoping you could help me with something first?
Oracle: Name it.
Joker: I need a sample of Akechi’s DNA.
Oracle: Why?
Joker: Can you find it for me?
Oracle: I know it’s in my name, but I’m not actually an oracle. Even if I found his hairbrush or something, I prolly couldn’t get DNA from it. Why do you need it?
Oracle: Wait. No way. Akechi’s the mom??
Joker: That’s what Lavenza said.
Oracle: And you believe her??
Joker: Why not? But I wanna be sure.
Oracle: Fine. I’ll help you.
Joker: You can find his DNA?
Oracle: Use mine.
Joker: You’re not the mom, Futaba.
Oracle: No. But…
Oracle: ….
Oracle: ….
Oracle: >//<
Oracle: Ok, you cant freak. Promise me you wont freak?
Joker: I already am, ‘Taba. Just tell me??
Oracle: So I was looking for my mom’s research, and… I found the identity of my dad?
Oracle: And like, I didn’t want to believe it at first? But then I thought about it, and it made sense.
Oracle: Like, I didn’t want it to, but it does…?
Joker: Ok…?
Oracle: So if you test my DNA with that of the spawn, and it IS Akechi’s, then I’ll come up as a match as a half-aunt…
Joker: ...
Joker: You okay?
Oracle: No. But I will be. Doesn’t really change anything, does it? I’m still me…
Joker: Just means you might be my kid's aunt....
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Alibaba: Lots to unpack there, I know. But the test came back. And I’m the kid’s genetic aunt.
Alibaba: So congrats, I guess.
Alibaba: So you should prolly come back?
Alibaba: Or at least tell him you’re alive?
Alibaba: Or even let me know it’s ok for me to tell him?
Alibaba: I haven’t told him yet. I don’t think he got over your ‘death’. Like. At. All.
Alibaba: I know you’re getting these! Respond, asshole!
Alibaba: You know, you’re the least favourite of my older brothers.
Alibaba: Pick up the damn phone!
Alibaba: I’ll bug you until you respond! Don’t test me, Crow!
Alibaba: I might be new to this little sister thing, but I know I can be a pain in the butt.
Alibaba: I’ll send you cat memes! Until you respond!
Alibaba: [Image]
Alibaba: [Image]
Alibaba: [Image]
Alibaba: [Image]
Alibaba: [Image]
Akechi: It’s 3am. Stop.