Chapter Text
Steve sat inside the RV by himself.
While everyone was inside Eddie’s trailer getting ready to head to the War Zone, Steve went outside for a needed breath of fresh air. Ever since their last visit to the Upside Down, Steve started to develop an irritating headache. He didn’t want to make it seem like a bigger deal than it probably was, so Steve excused himself to check if the RV had enough gasoline for the trip.
He rested his elbow on the steering wheel, pressing a palm to his forehead as he felt the pressure slither to the back of his head.
Steve laid back into the seat, careful to not stretch out the bandage around his waist. He stuffed his hands inside his jean’s pocket and frowned when his hand touched an edged object.
What Steve pulled out was a cassette that he had completely forgotten he brought along. It was labeled with the title “I Melt With You” by Modern English, the song that he had kept from Nancy when they were still together. He turned it over, remembering how back in high school they would always play it at his house to dance to instead of studying on school nights. Steve had held onto that cassette ever since. His original plan was to play the tape on the road to bring up those times to Nancy, but he wasn’t sure if he should still go through with it. Things between them were confusing, to say the least. Were they sparks of a reawakened love, or was it nostalgia that made Steve yearn for the simpler days? Steve exhaled, tapping the tape against the wheel and putting it away inside his pocket again, unsure what the song meant to him now.
Feeling a chill in the air, Steve buttoned up the vest that Eddie had lent him, crossing his arms to get warmer. A sleeveless vest wasn’t the best choice for that, but oddly enough Steve didn’t want to take it off, and Eddie had yet to ask for it back.
It was amazing how this guy had overturned his expectations. Before, when Steve heard the words “heavy metal” all he thought of was loud crazy people playing louder, crazier music, but ever since he met Eddie, the definition had formed into something softer. He now understood why Dustin liked him so much, for Eddie was actually a pretty cool guy. He had even given him advice about Nancy, encouraging him to get his ex back because her rescue was, according to Eddie, “as unambiguous a sigh of true love” that his “cynical eyes had ever seen.”
The only problem was that Steve hardly paid attention to what Eddie was saying because he was too busy staring at him. Of course, Steve always acknowledged a conventionally good-looking guy when he saw one, but with Eddie it was . . . different. Steve liked how his curly long hair flowed like a lion’s mantra and the tattoos that marked his arms and those that peaked from the collar of his shirt, making Steve secretly wish he could get a full view of them. He also noticed that what Eddie had called his “cynical eyes'' were actually soft brown irises that shone like stars in the midst of the dark.
Steve chuckled to himself, remembering his silly jealousy over Dustin’s friendship with Eddie, and how it then turned to fear when the man himself had pressed a blade against Steve’s face the first time they met. Looking back at it now, it was kind of hot.
Then, Robin’s voice crept up behind Steve.
“Whatcha thinking about, big boy?”
Steve almost launched himself out of his seat. “Jesus, Robin! Can you not?!”
She laughed, slumping in the seat next to him. “Since when did you get so jumpy?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Steve replied sarcastically as he settled back into his seat again. “Maybe almost getting eaten by demon bats can leave you a bit on edge.”
“You’ve got a point there.” Robin rested her feet on the dasher and took out a small bag of potato chips. Steve frowned in disapproval, knowing that this was her first ‘meal’ of the day. Robin was a big snacker and frequently forgot to properly eat, regardless if they were busy fighting off monsters or not. Robin would roll her eyes whenever Steve nagged her to have something more than just a snack.
Nevertheless, Steve let it slide this time only because he wanted to bring up a question. They have always been open to talking about Robin's sexuality, but it was the reasons that he was asking for that were nerve-wracking. Steve didn’t know how else to get around it, so he asked, “Uh, can I ask you something though?”
Robin munched on her chips. Hearing that Steve was using the “shut up this is serious’ voice, her playful expression calmed. “What’s up?”
Steve looked away, gripping his hand on the steering wheel.
“I know this stuff can be kind of complicated, so you don’t have to answer, but . . .” He ran a hand through his hair. “When was it exactly that you found out that you. . . you know . . .”
“Liked girls?”
Steve nodded, surprised at how fast she caught up. Robin shifted in her seat.
“Well . . .” She chewed on a chip thoughtfully, covering her mouth to speak. “It was just like how any other pre-teen had crushes on celebrities, except instead of obsessing over John Travolta, I was watching Jenny’s episode on The Partridge Family on repeat.
Steve snorted. “Yeah, she was pretty hot. I don’t blame you.”
“Then school came and it just grew more obvious from there.”
Steve looked down at his feet, still trying to keep it casual. “So, you think that someone who likes girls, or whatever else they’re into, has to have known since they were little, and it can’t be a thing that suddenly happens later, right?“
Robin paused. “It’s different for everyone. I mean, it’s not like you need to know what you’re into by a certain deadline.” She poured a handful of chips into her palm. “Sometimes, it takes you a while to know. Maybe it doesn’t hit you until one person comes into your life that makes you fall hard enough to see rainbows.” She tossed the chips into her mouth, the sounds of crunching filling in for Steve’s silence. As he looked out the window, something fluttered in his chest when Steve heard Eddie’s laugh as he walked outside with Dustin and the others.
“But what if you’re not sure?”
Robin peered over his shoulder, following his gaze. “Well, it’s like you’ve said before,” she said gently. “You can’t win it all if you’re not ready to risk it all.” Taking a single chip from her palm, she offered it to Steve with an eyebrow wiggle. Steve gave her a look for her poor generosity (rather than for her subtle implications) but took it anyway. Before Robin could say anything more, the others got inside the RV, chatting away about the list of weapons they should get. Steve turned on the engine as he announced, “Alright, buckos. Let’s hit the road.” He glanced between Nancy and Eddie through the rear-view mirror, quietly sighing before he ate his chip and drove down the road.
X
Steve woke up in a cold sweat and sat up on the grass, breathing deeply. After a moment, he felt himself return to reality, but the chills of a nightmare lingered throughout his body, despite his inability to recall its details. Steve leaned against the tree, the sight of the fields putting him at ease. The sun peeked through the clouds as the gentle spring breeze passed by the boundless grassland. Steve couldn’t help but wish that they could spend the day camping out here where they could pretend that no monsters, Russian secret ploys, or alter dimensions existed just for a day.
He picked up the bottle next to him and filled it with gasoline, a weapon that Robin had suggested to take down Vecna with. While they lit him on fire, Nancy would take the classical route and use her shotgun to finish the job. The plan sounded pretty badass, but Steve’s enthusiasm was drained from the throb in his head. He winced as the persisting pain wrapped around his forehead, making him regret not taking pain meds sooner. It was odd, he thought, how this was bothering him more than the wound on his waist, which had pretty much healed already.
Steve placed the bottle on the grass and watched what the others were up to. Nancy and Robin were sharing a laugh about something. Dustin and Lucas were bickering against an unbothered Erica, and Max was next to her with a small smile. Meanwhile, Eddie was sitting by himself on a tree stump, polishing his trash can shield.
Robin’s philosophical chip talk echoed back to Steve. He walked across the field, pushing aside the fluttery feeling in his chest again. As Steve approached Eddie from behind, he catched the smell of smoke.
“Oh hey, Harrington,” Eddie greeted him with a smile, holding a lit cigarette. Besides him was a small ashtray. “Hope you don’t mind. Need something to calm the nerves.”
“Nah, go ahead.” Steve moved the ashtray to the side and sat down. He watched Eddie as he puffed out small smoke rings that roamed around him. When Eddie glanced at him, Steve’s mouth ran faster than his mind could catch up, and he blurted, “Let me get a hit.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow in amusement. “ The Steve Harrington smokes? Who would have guessed?”
Steve shrugged. “Just on special occasions.” The truth was that Steve had smoked plenty before, but not as much ever since he was dragged to the kids. He felt like he could use one, though.
With a smirk, Eddie gestured his cigarette in a circle between them. “I’m flattered that you think this is special enough for you.“
Steve only rolled his eyes to cover the fact that his brain had buffered and was unable to muster up a response. Eddie was too good at doing that to him. Taking out a crumpled packet of cigarettes and handing one to Steve, he joked,
“I guess I don’t have to worry about being a bad influence on the kids.”
“You’re cool for now, I guess.”
“I got the mom’s approval, then?” Eddie grinned. Awesome.”
“Don’t let it get to your head.” Steve placed the cigarette in between his teeth, and Eddie flickered his lighter over it.
“Too late,” Eddie said in a quieter tone, and once the flame glowed bright, Steve inhaled, holding the smoke for a moment before blowing gently, the taste of nicotine warming his tongue. Eddie rested his elbows on his knees. After taking a drag, he tossed his hair over his shoulder to look at Steve attentively. “So does this mean I can finally show you?”
“Show me what?” Steve flickered some ash off the cigarette before trying again.
“How to Kiss it out.”
Accidentally inhaling too hard, Steve was thrown into a coughing fit. “W-what?”
“The band ?” Eddie emphasized with a teasing tilt of his head. “You know, the rock and roll legends? I used to play their songs with my band members all the time.
“Oh, K-Kiss!” Steve stuttered, his embarrassment mixed with the cloud of smoke around him growing an obvious blush on his face. “I’ve heard about those guys. It’s just, uh, not really my type of music.” While Steve tried clearing up his throat, Eddie jogged to the RV, and a moment later returned with his guitar. Steve smiled as Eddie put a performance for him, kicking his feet around and bobbing his head to the beat as he played the part of the chorus from one of Kiss’s songs, singing in a high-pitched tune:
“I was made for lovin’ you, baby”
You were made for lovin’ me.”
Steve couldn’t help but do a shoulder dance shake. “Alright, rockstar. Not bad,” he laughed. “How long have you been playing for?”
“Since the start of high school,” Eddie said as he strummed the chords. “I thought that if I was going to be stuck in that hellhole, I might as well make some music out of it. Get a headstart on my road to fame.” He raised the guitar, showing off its glinting red color. “Once I saw her in the music shop, I knew that she was the one for me. So, I got a summer job, saved up some money, and the rest is history.” Eddie planted a smooch on the instrument. “We’ve been together ever since.”
Steve hummed. “Well, congrats on your marriage.”
Eddie grinned and twirled the guitar towards Steve. “Want to try her out?”
There was a moment of hesitation but Steve accepted. “Sure.” Placing the cigarette in his mouth and stiffly holding the guitar, Steve tried mimicking the tune of the song. He strummed a couple of random strings, cringing at how it sounded like a wounded walrus. Steve didn’t know how he made it look so easy.
Eddie laughed at his sad attempt. “Dude, you gotta be more gentle with her.”
Steve took the cigarette out of his mouth and huffed. “Isn’t heavy metal all about like . . . jamming heavily?”
Taking a long drag on his cigarette, Eddie stated matter of factly, “There’s a difference between jamming and rock and rolling, Steve.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “And the difference is . . .?”
Eddie paced in front of him, spreading his arms out dramatically. “Sure, heavy metal is supposed to be heavy, obviously,” he explained and turned to him. “But it’s a type of heaviness that eases the heart”—he gestured towards his chest—“and your soul. It’s a safe space to be raw and real with yourself in the face of all the shittyness in the world. That's what rock and rolling is really about.”
Steve slowly nodded. “Riiight.” He returned the cigarette to his mouth and tried playing again, but it only got more off-tune. Taking pity on Steve's struggles, Eddie stubbed his own cigarette in the ashtray and sat next to him.
“Here.“ Steve felt Eddie’s arms slide around his waist and repositioned his hands over the guitar. “You start with these strings first.”
Steve was surprised by how soft his hands were. Eddie guided Steve’s fingers to gently press down on each chord as he taught him the different note combinations. Steve was very aware of how close they were, how easily he could feel Eddie’s breathing over his neck. Eddie gave words of encouragement as Steve tried playing a few notes.
“Yeah, there you go.”
“You’re getting some harmony in there, nice.”
“Heard that? She liked that. Keep going.”
Once Steve learned how to keep up some rhythm, he strummed the top chords on his own while Eddie kept guiding his right hand with the bottom chords, and together they played, composing the chorus that Steve was loving to hear. His heart drummed almost as loud as the guitar, making its own melody that was impossible for him to ignore.
“You see?” Eddie laughed once they stopped playing, their right hands fully interlocking. Steve enthusiastically muffled in response, the cigarette still held in the corner of his mouth. His heart jumped higher as Eddie took it out for him, his fingers almost brushing past his lips, and smiled at Steve with bright eyes. “You’re a natural.”
Steve felt a drum set in his chest as he stared at Eddie and wondered that if he leaned in and listened a little closer, Steve would understand what exactly his heart was singing to him about.
“Excuse me!” Erica’s voice came crashing down and both of them jumped, the guitar releasing a high-pitched screech that blasted their eardrums.
“Erica!” They complained in unison.
The small girl raised her eyebrow. “Sorry to disturb you lovebirds, but I’m starving.” Erica crossed her arms. “I don’t plan to fight with an empty stomach.”
Steve rubbed his ear, his cheeks flustering into a red that was almost as dark as the guitar, while Eddie got up and humored her. “Chill out, boss. I’m sure you won’t be left to starve.” He glanced down at Steve and shrugged, his expression reading She’s your kid, not mine.
Finally, Steve got up and placed his hands on his hips. “Fine,” he huffed. “We’ll get something on the way, but it’ll be quick.”
“Good.” Erica turned around, cuffing her hand over her mouth and yelled, “Lunch break! And it’s on Steve!” Erica cheekily smiled at him before skipping inside the RV.
Steve gawked. “That’s not what I-“ His voice faltered as the rest of the kids excitedly ran to the RV, and Steve only groaned.
Eddie patted Steve on the back. “It’s alright man. Parenting only gets worse from here.”
“Tell me about it,” Steve grumbled.
When he handed him his guitar back, Eddie said, “Maybe after we save the world, we could catch a concert together,” He kept his eyes lowered on his guitar, picking at the chords. “Kiss is going to tour soon. . . I know you said it wasn’t your type of music but it’s a once in a lifetime experience type of fun. Just throwing it out there.”
Steve paused, his heart doing a full summersault now. “Sure.” His response made Eddie look up at him again, his eyes slightly widening as if he were expecting him to decline. Steve nodded and cheerfully smiled, “Yeah, we’ll definitely, uh, rock on together,” he said, the phrase sounding odd coming from him, but promising nonetheless.
“Rock on,” Eddie repeated, sneaking a wink before he jumped in the RV.
Steve slowly followed, feeling like he was walking on clouds.
Did he just winked at me or did the smoke in my lungs make me hallucinate? That’s all Steve could wonder as he sat on the driver’s seat, catching a glimpse of Eddie through the rear end mirror and quickly looked away before they could meet eyes.
As Robin walked by she gave Steve a small punch on the arm.
“Ow, what was that for?” Steve glanced up at her.
Grinning, Robin simply chirped, “Risk taker,” and took her seat in the back.
Steve shook his head, trying to hide his wide dumb smile.
Maybe he should smoke more often.