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Laszlo waits until the house grows quiet. His beloved lady wife is at the club, Nandor and Guillermo are playing board games in the library and the coast is clear. He walks swiftly to a vent (which is barely holding onto the screws that attach it to the wall) and pulls out a briefcase. Jeans, cowboy hat, and most importantly, toothpick. With his convincing, down to earth human costume on, Jackie Daytona heads to clock in to his new night job. With Nadja out at night, Nandor and Gizmo busy doing whatever homoerotic activities they do, and the Boy asleep after his sports, it gets lonely. One can only spend time fucking around a decerpid old house for so long.
After killing the owner of a bar in downtown Staten Island, Lasz- Jackie became part-time owner and bartender at ‘The Berenstain Bar’. Apparently, it’s named after some human tv show that he couldn’t give two fucks about. Nothing helps him unwind like serving human drinks to men who will do anything to solve their marriage problems besides talk to their partners. It is a slow night, Jackie has already broken up two fights, cleaned up vomit, and kicked three guys out of the bar. The minutes drone on, but he enjoys the change in pace from being a vampire dad 24/7.
He is making a drink when he hears a familiar voice. Loud, nasally, and hollering about some sports team on the television above the bar. He looks up to see their neighbor, Sean, intently focused on whatever is happening on screen.
“Seany! Can I interest you in a drink, my good man?” Jackie says, a smile on his lips.
Sean looks at him in confusion, Jackie nervously twirls the toothpick in his mouth.
“Uh- sure! I’ll have a pint of beer.” he says after a few excruciating moments of silence.
“One human beer coming right up!” the bartender replies.
“You know,” Sean begins talking as his drink is served, “you remind me a lot of a guy I know. His name is Laszlo, a very stand up guy.”
Jackie feels a warmth swell in his chest, like pride.
“Oh, do I? He must be an outstanding fellow”
“Yeah, we’re best pals, me and him. One time, he raked up money for me and my wife Charmaine to build a new deck after I blew it all on gambling- but that’s a story for another time”
As the man spins his stories, Jackie winces upon hearing about the money he took to pay for Gizmo’s soil journey.
“Great guy” He responded through gritted teeth, eyebrows raised in an attempt to seem ignorant.
“Are you new in town? I come to this bar all the time and this is the first time I’ve seen you around.” Sean asked, leaning in.
“Ah, yes I came from.. Tucson Arizonya. I was a bartender at a grill in Pennsylvania until it blew up in flames, and my journey for work brought me here to Staten Isle!” Jackie throws his hands up in a flourish.
Sean’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry to hear about your place in Pennsylvania, what did you say your name was again?”
“Jackie Daytona~” The man sing-songs.
His neighbor looks up for a few moments in contemplation, then begins to nod his head.
“That’s a kickass bartender name man, you must be the best in the biz” He raises his pint in cheers towards Jackie, who bows.
“Why thank you” In his mind, he wonders how Sean is unable to recognize him. He’s known him for so long, yet the disguise must be even more foolproof on one with the brain scramblies.
“Are you doin’ something after your shift is over? Maybe we can sit down and chat. I’d like to get to know ya better” Sean says, breaking his train of thought.
“You’ve taken interest in my journeys as a bartender across the New World?” he raises an eyebrow.
“You talk funny!” Sean lets out a laugh and sips the last of his drink.
“Can I get you another, stranger?” Jackie watches as the man in front of him nods, and he refills the pint.
-
Two hours go by and Sean is slurring his words and joyfully waving his glass about as he shares stories.
“So the whole place, up in flames like that?”
“Oh yes, I had to fight an old fruit in order to save the clientele”
“Geez, handsome AND a fighter.” Sean says in a drawl, resting his chin on his hand.
Jackie stops, frozen in his tracks. The man before him continues to stare dreamily.
“Flirting with the Great Daytona, are we?” He chuckles, trying not to let the past comment throw him off his rhythm.
“Can you keep a secret?” Sean asks, cupping his hand on the side of his mouth like a child does when playing a game of telephone.
“Sure can,” Jackie leans closer to Sean, holding his breath.
“I don’t really swing that way, but you got me feelin things that I don’t think I should as a man”
As the words fall off the man's lips, Jackie feels a shiver go down his spine.
“I’m flattered, you aren’t so bad yourself ” He replies.
"Aw, I'm blushin! But for real, with your back story and your funny Arizona accent and your cowboy hat, you're the perfect guy"
Jackie stands speechless, looking at Sean looking at him.
“Jackie!” A voice calls from the back of the bar, “Your shifts over, you can go home!”
Just like that, the tension is cut through like a knife as Sean reverts back to his giggly drunk persona.
“You seem quite drunk my dear boy, do you need someone to walk you home?”
“Nah, this guy can handle a few drinks” Sean boasts, "You should see me on superbowl weekend it's like a college party!"
“Alright then, I’m headed out then, I’ll see you back here soon?”
“Absolutely! You’re a great cook!” The drunken Sean says before falling face down on the bar, lights out.
Laszlo smiles to himself as he takes the toothpick from his mouth.
“I’ll see you soon, Seany”
Laszlo decides to carry Sean back to his house. The man is most definitley going to experience Hell's hangover the next morning. Staring down at Sean, Laszlo hears him talking in his sleep. Amongst the nonsense and gibberish, he makes out “Jackie….mph..lookin good...let’s get drinks”.
“Unbelievable,” the vampire says out loud, “All this time trying to woo him and all I needed was a toothpick and a fancy hat.”