Chapter Text
Gene’s written about a hundred songs in his life, but they’ve never been full length. The longest song he’s ever written was only, like, a minute and a half, and all the songs he listens to on records and the radio are over two minutes long. So if Gene wants to become a professional musician one day- which he does- he realizes he needs to start writing longer songs.
So, after dinner that night, Gene goes to his room and immediately gets to work. He knows he should probably work on lyrics first, but he doesn’t quite know what he wants the song to be about yet, so he scans his room in search of the perfect instruments. He’s got his ukulele, his tambourine, Louise’s old pink guitar, his triangle, his napkin-thing, and of course his trusty keyboard, which he never writes a song without.
He decides he wants to use his napkin-thing to add some nice beats in the background. He knows how nice ukulele sounds with piano, so he chooses that too. He had thought something would come to him lyrics-wise while he was deciding on instruments, but he’s still got nothing. So he starts working on a tune, but not long after he's interrupted by Louise and Tina.
“Hey, Gene,” Tina says, standing in the doorway Louise is at her side, leaning against the door frame. “How’s the song going?”
“Eh, I haven’t really started yet.” Gene answers.
“Why not? Haven’t you been in here for like half an hour?” Louise says.
“Yeah, but… I don't know. I guess I’m having trouble coming up with lyrics.”
“Really? Normally you crank out a song in 20 minutes tops.”
“Yeah, I know, but since I'm in middle school and almost in 7th, Ms. Merkin says that if I want a serious career in music, I have to stop writing songs in the… bodily function/penis category.”
“But you’ve written plenty of songs out of those categories.” Tina says. “Uh, 'Electric Love,' your Die Hard musical, 'It’s Valentine’s Day,' 'My Burger Buns,' 'Turkey,' uh... 'My Butt Has A Fever' too, I guess..."
“That is true. But I wrote those all for fun, y’know? Minus the Valentine’s Day one. I was just really sad when I wrote that. Uh, but Ms. Merkin just put the statement in my head that I need to get serious about what I write before I get to high school, so now that I feel pressured to write something more serious, I can’t think of anything.”
“Yeah, okay, well, there are plenty of un-serious songs out in the world.” Louise says.
“Do you just feel like you absolutely need to write something serious?” Tina asks, “Like, so that more people will take you and your music seriously?”
“I guess.”
“Well, just do what makes you happy, Gene.”
“Maybe start at bodily function and penis songs like normal, and slowly work your way to the serious stuff.” Louise says, “Or listen to some of your favorite songs- I know you have normal ones- and maybe they’ll inspire you. Or both.”
“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” Gene says.
“Well, we'll leave you to it,” Tina says, smiling. Her and Louise then walk back down the hallway.
Gene sighs. He honestly doesn’t know what came over him. Just Ms. Merkin saying he needs to get serious brought up the memories from when he first made his napkin-thing, and how nobody liked it, and how he was worried nobody would like his music anymore. But he can get past it, he knows he can- he did last time, so why wouldn’t he be able to this time?
He decides to take Louise’s advice and starts writing something he knows how to write about- farts and butts.
The next day, after the Belcher kids arrive at school, they walk to their homerooms, where Gene meets up with Alex and Courtney.
“Hey, Gene!” Alex greets.
“Yeah, hi! Did you start on your song yet?” Courtney asks. Her and Alex are both in Gene’s music class- the day Ms. Merkin asked to see him when the period was over, they stayed back to wait for him.
“I started on a song,” Gene answers, “I can’t think of good enough lyrics for a serious one yet. Louise suggested writing what I’m comfortable writing first so I can work my way to that stuff.”
“So, farts?” Alex guesses.
“You know it, buddy.”
“How much have you written?” Courtney asks, “Can we hear it?”
“One verse, the pre-chorus, the chorus, another verse, and a bridge,” Gene answers, “It’s sort of like the song I wrote for the Why I Love Wagstaff thing, but slightly more upbeat, faster, and catchier. There's a lot to it, but it works. Trust me."
“I definitely trust you,” Alex says, “Play it for us during music.”
“Of course. Hey, you two excited to come over after school?”
“Yeah! Are we playing a few rounds of Robo-Wizard-Quest?”
“If Courtney’s up for it?”
“I’m up for it!” Courtney says, “Even though I still don’t understand the rules too well, it’s a fun game.”
“Alright, students, take your seats,” Ms. Twitchell says, “Class will begin shortly.”
Alex and Courtney walk home with Gene to the once school lets out- they pop in the restaurant to say hi to Bob and Linda, then head to the basement.
“It’s not fair; Gene gets to play a game in the basement while Tina and I have to work?” Louise complains.
“I don’t mind,” Tina says. “Working is fun.”
“Yeah, it’s fun here, Louise!” Linda says. “Don’t be such a party pooper.”
“Oh, I didn’t say it was fun- here, I just said it was fun being a waitress.”
“Oh.”
“Let Gene have some alone time with his friends,” Bob says, “You can join them once we close up.”
“Fine.” Louise grabs a notebook and pencil from the counter and turns to a customer. “May I take your order?”
Gene rolls three dice- a D20 and two regular six-sided ones.
“You rolled-” Alex says in a robot voice, of course with the corresponding robot arm movements, and checks the dice. 19, 6, and 5. “30.”
Gene looks to the complete opposite side of the room where the 30 is. He surveys the tape circles and their numbers on the ground in front of him, trying to figure out the best course of action.
“Hurry, Gene,” Courtney says, brandishing the mop with the wizard hat.
“I’m going, I’m going,” Gene says, jumping onto the six. The next one’s sort of a big jump, but Gene leaps over the twelve and onto the ten, landing better than he thought he would. He takes a step onto the seven- how many is that now? 23. The thirty’s just a couple circles away… it’s a bigger jump- pretty big actually- and once Gene jumps, he almost instantly regrets it. But somehow, he sticks the landing. Barely. He almost tips over, but leans forward slightly and steadies himself.
“Wow,” Alex says, forgetting the robot voice. “You’ve never made a jump like that before!”
“Yeah, that was kind of impressive,” Courntey says, her locket in her mouth.
“Thanks,” Gene says, walking back to the starting square. “Hand over the mop, you’re up next.”
Courtney hands the wizard mop over to Gene and picks up the dice. She rolls them. 10, 5, and 4.
“You rolled 19,” Alex says in the robot voice. He decides to repeat the rules for her. “You must reach the 19 by jumping on circles that add up to less than 19.”
“Okay. Got it.” Courtney jumps to the seven, then to the five, then to the eight.
“That makes… 20.”
“Dammit. I was close.”
Gene points the wizard mop at Courtney and uses his best wizard voice, “I curse thee! Melt! Melt, Courtney Wheeler!”
Courtney grins- this is her favorite part of the game- and melts to the ground. She’s genuinely terrible at math, so it’s not like she fails on purpose- she’s won a couple times- but she loves the wizard mop, and Gene and Alex make each part of the game very enjoyable.
“Alex, you’re up,” Gene says. Alex walks to the starting square, Gene handing the wizard mop to Courtney and taking his place to become the new robot, while Courtney stands up and walks over to Alex. Unfortunately, Alex is the best in the game out of the three, so Courtney doesn’t get to shove the mop in his face and order him to melt.
The three play for a while- Robo-Wizard-Quest is the type of game that never gets old- Alex winning a few, Gene winning a few, Courtney winning none.
“I’m sort of hungry. Is anybody else hungry?” Alex asks when the three are taking a break to do their homework together, “Could we get a snack?”
“I’m up for a snack,” Courtney says. “Gene?”
“Mm. I’m not really hungry.” Gene answers.
“You’re… not?”
“Gene, at school you barely ate lunch,” Alex says, “How are you not hungry?”
“I… don’t know. I just feel kinda full, or something. My stomach's been hurting a bit today. This morning I thought it was because I was hungry, but like an hour after I ate breakfast it started hurting again, and when I tried eating lunch it just… hurt. I couldn’t force myself to finish what was on the tray.”
“Diarrhea?”
“No. I tried. Can’t go.”
“Hm… that’s… odd,” Courtney says, “Should you… take medicine or something?”
“What would I take?”
“I don’t know! But maybe if you still feel like this in a couple days or if it gets worse you should go get it checked out."
“I don’t think a doctor’s visit would be necessary, right? This doesn’t seem that serious.”
“Well, Gene, if it does get worse, maybe you should go,” Alex said, “Just to be sure, y’know? It’s probably just, like, a stomach bug.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“Can Courtney and I still get snacks though?”
“Of course. Come with me.”
After finishing a snack and their homework, Gene, Alex, and Courtney get ready to play a few more rounds of Robo-Wizard-Quest before they have to go, this time with Louise and Tina spectating. Linda joins in on the game, against Bob’s wishes- he wants her to help with restaurant cleanup, but Linda wants to play with the kids. She'd played once before, and had thought it was fun, although she hadn’t played 100% correctly that time and had just kept shouting “four.” Today, she does not win any rounds.
Unfortunately, over the next couple weeks, Gene’s stomach doesn’t begin to feel any better. For the first few days after it started hurting, it doesn’t get worse, but at around the two week mark, it does.
Gene is at lunch at school one day, sitting at a table with Alex, Courtney, Tina, Zeke, Jimmy Jr., Louise, and Rudy. He hasn’t been eating everything on his tray lately- he hasn’t been able to get through all the food without feeling full quickly. His friends know something is up- Gene literally never leaves his plate with so much as a crumb on it- but his sisters, Alex, and Courtney know better than to keep asking him about it; every time they have, Gene gives them the same answer- ‘I’m fine.’ He feels sort of bad for lying- the pain in his stomach rarely goes away- but he doesn’t want to worry anybody.
About halfway through lunch, Gene drops the fishstick he’s holding back onto his tray and clutches his head.
“Gene?” Tina, who’s sitting on his left, noticing first, asks. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I’m…” Gene squeezes his eyes shut- the room had started to spin. He feels lightheaded, and like he’s floating. “I feel… dizzy.”
It’s the last thing Gene remembers before he faints.