Chapter Text
One week had passed since Raphael had approached his three younger brothers to have an important conversation. The talk itself had gone fairly well overall, give or take a few squabbles here and there. The subject matter had been figuring out the root of their dysfunction as brothers, and what they could do together to strengthen their bonds.
It lingered in everyone’s mind that their father was the reason behind everyone’s deterioration of closeness, and suffering.
In such a short amount of time afterward, not much had changed. The talk between the four brothers had been concerning, heavy, and overall emotional. Though everyone had spent decent quality time together afterwards, the entire discussion had left the boys quite exhausted, mentally. A much needed, and deserved rest, had been warranted.
Throughout the entire week, Raphael had done, in his own mental words, 'better', to look after and protect his younger brothers. It felt nice to settle some unease Donatello had been having about leaving the safety and comfort of his lab.
He had expressed to Raph that the kitchen was often a place he was anxious of, due to the fact that he could never tell if Splinter would catch him in there until it was 'too late'. Whether or not anything happened between the two was a fair 50/50, according to Donnie.
Because of this, the soft-shell tended to avoid the kitchen much of the time, even against his own health. It led to less meals, which often resulted in irritability and exhaustion. To combat this, he would often bring a few snacks with him to his lab to live off of, though it hadn’t ever been nearly enough.
The snapper had assisted the tech-whiz to the communal cooking area a couple times that week, which brought comfort to Raph, knowing his already underfed younger brother was getting a few more meals in. The soft-shell’s poor eating habits were never something the eldest had been a fan of, but since the group conversation, all of his younger brother’s poor eating habits had been put into light.
On top of that, and very surprisingly, Donnie himself had actually relinquished a single razor blade to the snapper’s care. It had meant a lot to Raph that the purple turtle wanted to attempt to make a genuine improvement with his coping mechanisms, and self treatment. It was a good start.
Raphael had even suggested that the four of them, at the very least, share one meal together daily. It would be multi-beneficial. Not only would they be able to bond together during a minimum of one mealtime everyday, it also aided in keeping the four of them safe from any sort of harm. For them, safety most definitely came in numbers.
Donnie, Leo, and Mikey all agreed to this. Dinner tended to be the meal they all had together, as of when Raphael brought it up to the three of them a few days prior.
To everyone’s annoyance (though to no one’s surprise), Donnie already tried skipping out only three days in. He had been hunted down by the other three and practically dragged away from his work to eat with them. A promise is a promise, and Donatello needed to keep it.
Eating as a family felt very comforting to the four of them, even if none of the boys would ever admit it out loud. They would joke around as they ate, and the laughter that filled the room brought a sense of joy to each turtle.
They had missed one another more than they still realized. The time spent bonding was crucial to the health of their relationships.
Mealtimes aside, Leonardo had been a whole other territory that week. The day following the conversation, Raph collected himself to approach the slider. The weed was something he definitely couldn’t leave unaddressed.
It brought great distress to Raphael that his brother had even began to smoke in the first place, though since the talk he had understood Leo had just wanted to feel better. The fourteen year old described feeling broken, and that smoking helped relieve him of those feelings.
There was much more to the story than Raph knew, and this was something he had realized. When he would learn more, was unknown. It all depended on when, or if, the slider would confide in him.
“Calm yourself, Raph. Stay calm.” He remembered speaking to himself, before entering Leo’s room.
His entry hadn’t caught his younger brother’s attention at first. He recalled needing to clear his throat and knock on the doorway for Leo to acknowledge that anyone had come into his room.
“Hey, Leo?”
The discussion that ensued was rocky, to say the least. Raph had gotten right to the point, which immediately resulted in Leo raising his guard. He had become defensive. Much like on missions, the fourteen year old wasn’t always the easiest to come to an agreement with.
Leo treated the matter as a joke, which was typical of him. He giggled, rolled his eyes, and even ignored Raphael while he attempted to urge his younger brother into giving up his harmful, still-developing addiction.
It wasn’t too late. Though Leo smoked here and there, it wasn’t anything that he had become addicted to just yet. If Raph could aid him in nipping this in the bud, it would be a lot easier to recover from in the long run.
They had bickered back and forth for awhile. Leo hadn’t wanted to give up his weed, insisting that he 'needed it', and 'felt broken' without it. Those words cracked Raphael’s heart, however, he needed to keep the upper hand.
The snapper had also remembered being told that he “couldn’t possibly understand”. Though Leo was correct, in the sense that he didn’t know what it felt like to depend on a substance, Raph did understand completely that the slider was going down a hazardous path.
Partially regrettably, he had resorted to being very stern about being given the substance, and any instruments Leo had been using to consume it.
His voice was raised, though he made completely sure not to yell. Concern, and slight irritation was in his tone.
It hadn’t been his intention to completely back the blue turtle into a wall.
He softened up, but to no avail. The exchange eventually ended with Leo in nervous tears. Reluctantly, the marijuana and all related products were surrendered to the snapper.
Raph made sure to reassure and hug his younger brother before leaving to dispose of it all. Though the budding addiction concerned him extremely, he also understood that this wasn’t an easy thing for his already-struggling younger brother to part with. It was important to make sure Leo was able to find new, and healthier ways to cope with what was hurting him.
The way Leo hugged him back spoke that the slider himself understood that what his older brother was doing had been for his own health, whether or not he wanted to acknowledge that.
Raph’s sternness hadn’t been what made Leo cry. Of course not, it never had before with…Literally anything else.
Realizing that his brother had been right was what caused the tears to flow. It was overwhelming and nerve-wracking to give up the one thing that made him feel like he had some semblance of control over his life, and feelings.
Even then, Leo still didn’t believe he could function without it. Raphael reassured him that he would absolutely be able to, and to come straight to him if he was having any doubts.
Unlike the other two, the brother Raph had been able to check in with the least was Michelangelo, though in the snapper’s defense it had been because the youngest turtle hadn’t been home most of the week.
Mikey had been spending a lot of time over at Draxum’s apartment, for whatever reason, the entire week. Mikey made sure to be home by the end of each day, specifically in time for dinner, but aside from that, he had been going over almost everyday to 'find some fresh artistic inspiration'.
Whatever could possibly inspire Mikey in a poorly decorated, 'r/malelivingspace' of an apartment would forever confuse Raphael.
He had managed to catch the box turtle on the one day he stayed home that week, precisely two days ago. Raph tried to squeeze in a few sly questions about how Mikey had been feeling, how things had been that week, how things were with their father. Most of the answers he got in response were generic.
“I’m feeling ok! I want to try a new skateboard trick with Leo today.”
“Draxum is at work during the day, but using his apartment as an art studio has been SUPER fun!”
“Dad is ok. You know, he’s dad! He’s always been dad.”
The more the eldest had thought about it, the more unsettled he felt by the last reply. Was that really all Mikey had to say? Not to mention it felt more like a scripted response then it did a genuine answer to his question. It was definitely something to investigate more when he was able to be alone with his youngest brother again.
Admittedly, Raph had to stop himself a couple times throughout that week from looking inside Mikey’s 'top-secret' sketchbook. More specifically, the black one with the homemade 'KEEP OUT!!!' sticker on the front cover. If not for living eternally with the guilt of violating his baby brother’s privacy and trust, he would have torn through the entire thing page by page, searching for any possibly existing answers to his plethora of questions.
Speaking of which, he had been brought back to the present day. Mikey had actually been putting various art supplies into his backpack, to once again take with him to Draxum’s apartment. Today was Saturday, so their second father would actually be present with the box turtle today.
Raph wondered if he should ask about going along, but ultimately decided against it. He didn’t want to cramp his younger brother’s artistic style.
“You all ready to go, buddy?”
The youngest gave a nod. “Yup! I’ll be back before dinner as usual.” Before dashing off, he stopped to say one last thing. “And don’t blow up my phone! I’m literally fine! It’s also annoying. Love you bye!”
Though a little stunned, Raph giggled. Oh, Michelangelo. How blissfully ignorant his youngest brother had been to think Raphael would ever adhere to that.
It was his sworn duty as his older brother to check in once an hour, to ensure the safety of the thirteen year old. Twice an hour if Raph was feeling especially worried. Three, if he really needed the reassurance that Mikey was ok.
…Alright, maybe it was a little excessive. Just a little, though.
Raphael himself had been an emotional mess the entire week, though he kept it secret from his brothers. All he could think about for the past seven days was how to keep his brothers feeling safe, reassured, and loved.
Where had he gone wrong in the first place? He only knew the very tip of the iceberg when it came to his brother’s respective struggles. Everything that had gone horribly thus far, AKA within the last thirteen years of them all being together (yes, everything since day one), had felt like his fault.
How couldn’t it be his fault? As the older brother, it had been his inherent responsibility to look after the others. Throughout the week he swallowed the guilt of his failures to look after his brothers. Self punishments were had, a few times. Only small ones, just a hit on the head here or there.
Nothing that Raphael hadn’t felt wasn’t entirely deserved.
There was nausea in his stomach, tightness in his chest, and fullness in his mind throughout the last seven days.
Donnie had asked a few times if he was ok, to which he would quickly respond with a “yes!” to get out of the situation as soon as possible. The soft-shell wouldn’t press, because what use would it have been to push the one who was more closed up than even himself, but a small glare would be given.
Leo attempted to check up on the snapper as well, though received a similar result to his twin. Why was Raph still so difficult to get through to? Sure, he seemed fine on the surface, excellently masking any worries or doubts he had been battling himself over the entire week, but the jokester couldn’t help but feel like more was going on beneath it all.
What warmed Raph’s heart the most had been the tiny teddy bear Mikey had given him a few days ago. It was a small toy that Draxum gave to the box turtle, who then immediately thought of the teddy-obsessed snapping turtle. Immediately he knew Raph would love it, not to mention how much he wanted to surprise his big brother!
The bear was small, roughly six inches in height, three-to-four in diameter, and had a pink ribbon tied around his neck. On the bottom left paw was a little red heart. Tears were absolutely in Raph’s eyes the first time he held the tiny toy in his hands.
That was the one sense of relief he felt the entire week.
What mattered the most was looking after one another. Hopefully tonight at dinner, the four of them could share another lighthearted conversation, and feel at ease with each other. Bonding time was very important.
Maybe tonight, they’d enjoy some piping-hot pizza. That sounded delicious.
All that was left now was to wait for the time to come.