Chapter Text
Obito
Obito: *handing in his mission report* Here.
Iruka: *sighing as he stamps it approved* Why must you always misspell your rank? Why must you bastardise the word? I know the Academy taught you to spell!
Kakashi: *draped over Obito's back, nose in an Icha Icha book* Because he is a bastard.
Obito: *smirking* And proud of it.
Kakashi
Kakashi: *pointing at Bull* He ate it.
Bull: *stoically letting out a belch* What the boss said.
Asuma
Asuma: *handing in a report that's shredded* It was in my vest.
Asuma: *holding up a shredded vest* Also, I need to requisition a replacement.
Shisui
Shisui: *handing in a report that's burnt around the edges* There was this Katon you see, and I…
Kurenai
Kurenai: *handing in a report written in completely different handwriting to her own* Here.
Iruka: *face down on the desk, voice muffled* Kurenai-san, using genjutsu on your team mates to make them write your reports is frowned upon.
Kurenai: *shrugging* It's called delegation.
Tenzō
Tenzō: *handing in a report that appears to be sprouting* Um…
Iruka: *taking it* I know, I know, it's spring.
Genma
Iruka: *ripping a mission report off a wall and waving it in Genma's face* WE DO NOT PIN OUR REPORTS TO THE OFFICE WALL WITH SENBON!
Genma: *eyeing the report that's whacking him in the nose* But you weren't at your desk. I had to put it somewhere.
Iruka: I WENT TO THE TOILET! FOR 5 MINUTES! YOU COULD HAVE WAITED!
Genma: *leering* Meet anyone interesting?
Iruka: *stomps on his foot and gets him in a headlock* NO!
Kakashi: *coming out of the bathroom, zipping up* Maa... what's all the noise?
Genma: *laughing* I guess you don't rate as interesting enough, Kakashi!
Iruka: *booting them both out of the mission room* GO AWAY AND BRING BACK LEGIBLE REPORTS NEXT TIME!
Raidō
Raidō: *handing in a report with a suspicious stain on it* My report.
Iruka: *pulling on gloves and taking it gingerly* Is this poison?
Raidō: No, soy sauce.
Gai
Gai: *knocking on Iruka's door* IRUKA-SENSEI! I WISH TO PRESENT YOU WITH MY REPORT AND INVITE YOU TO AN INVIGORATING SPAR!
Iruka: *opening the door and rubbing his eyes* Gai-sensei, what? It's early...
Gai: IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO STOKE THE YOUTHFUL FIRE IN OURSELVES!
Iruka: *staring at him* 5am is too early for fire of any kind, youthful or not. And please don't yell.
Gai: *moderating his volume if not his enthusiasm* You only say that because you have not had your tea yet! Let me cook for you! I promise that you will have a stylish and nourishing breakfast in no less than sixteen minutes!
Iruka: *taking the report and stepping back* You're welcome to use my stove.
Gai: *stepping inside only to be stopped by a palm on his chest* Uh?
Iruka: ... after another hour of sleep. Until then, take the couch.
Gai: *tearing up* Iruka-sensei! I'm so moved by your generosity!
Iruka: *wandering off mumbling* Anything for less noise.
Itachi
Itachi: *bowing as he hands in a perfect report* My mission report, Umino-san.
Iruka: *stamping it approved with relief* Don't get me wrong, Uchiha-san, but I kind of love you right now.
Itachi: *without missing a beat* Then my mother will expect you for marriage negotiations within the next month.
Iruka: ... what?
Itachi: *leaving the mission room* Also, bring dango.
Iruka: NO, REALLY, WHAT?!