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“He just hasn’t been himself lately,” Leorio grumbles, gnawing on the wooden stirring stick for his coffee. “He’s been withdrawn. And grumpy. And he’s definitely hiding something.”
Melody arches an eyebrow.
“Kurapika, withdrawn and cranky and secretive? And that’s out of the ordinary?”
“You know what I mean!” Leorio insists, jabbing the wooden stirrer in Melody’s direction. “I’ve known him for Lord only knows how long, and I can tell when he isn’t acting like himself. And you’ve gotta trust me when I say that something is up with him.”
For a long moment, Melody is quiet, a deep, pensive look on her face. And after a moment, she nods, seemingly to herself, before raising her gaze to meet Leorio’s.
“As a rule, I try not to involve my ability in interpersonal situations. I’m sure you could imagine how quickly that sort of meddling could turn disastrous. But I believe this particular instance may be an exception.”
“You know something?” Leorio demands.
Melody sighs, expression grim.
“Not very much, but enough. I’ve heard Kurapika having a few phone conversations with someone who claims to have a pair of Kurta eyes. Not information regarding them, but the eyes themselves.”
Leorio swallows hard.
“There’s no way he’d act reasonably in that sort of situation,” he murmurs.
“No, there isn’t. You and I can easily see it for what it is—bait. But Kurapika’s emotions have clouded his judgment. And he went to meet with this supposed contact this morning.”
Leorio leaps up, slamming his hands onto the cafe table hard enough to shake the dishware.
“He already left to meet them?” Leorio shouts, ignoring the stares of the other cafe patrons. “Do you know where he went?”
Melody nods, and scribbles an address on a napkin.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner,” she says, holding out the napkin to Leorio. “It can be hard to know when my interference will or won’t be helpful.”
Leorio waves off her apology.
“Don’t sweat it. I’ve got the address now, so I can go to him. That means it’ll be fine.”
Leorio affects more confidence that he really feels. It will be fine. He refuses to contemplate an alternative.
When Leorio reaches the address Melody gave him, an out-of-business boxing gym on the far side of town, the acidic scent of blood overtakes him the second he opens the door. The scene could be something out of a film, really. Kurapika, the felled prizefighter, only barely holding himself up against the ropes, the blood streaming from his nose and split lip staining his shirt collar red. His opponent, on the far side of the ring but advancing, equal parts menace and certainty in his every step. Kurapika conjures his chains on an extended hand, but it’s clear from how badly he’s shaking that the fight’s already long since lost.
And Leorio doesn’t hesitate for even a second. Summoning every ounce of aura he has and then some, he opens the Nen portal and sends his fist flying into the ring.
I don’t know how these stupid contracts even work, he thinks, but I’m well acquainted with debt. So believe me when I say that I’ll do whatever it takes for him to make it out of this in one piece. Any price, I’ll pay it. Collect whenever you want, ask for triple in return. I don’t care. But God fucking damn it, I’m not watching him die.
The punch sends Kurapika’s attacker sailing out of the ring and into the wall hard enough to crack it, and he slumps over, unconscious.
And then Leorio’s at Kurapika’s side, cradling his body so he’s no longer using every ounce of strength just to keep himself upright. Kurapika blinks slowly, pupils blown wide and eyes struggling to focus on Leorio’s face. Head injury, Leorio’s mind supplies, not entirely helpfully.
“What in the fresh hell do you think you’re doing, running off like this?” Leorio asks, but it comes out far too fond and unsteady.
“Leorio?” Kurapika slurs. “What’re you—?”
“Shh, just take it easy, alright? It’s gonna be okay.”
Kurapika’s skin is cold and clammy when Leorio pushes his hair back from his forehead, and his breath is fast and shallow. He’s going into shock, which means Leorio doesn’t have much time. But that doesn’t matter—he found Kurapika before it was too late. And as long as Leorio is there, he won’t allow any harm to come to Kurapika. As long as Leorio has him, he’s safe.
Leorio will admit that he’s expecting something of a tender reunion when he’s finally allowed into Kurapika’s hospital room. Fine, it’s Kurapika, so there likely won’t be effusive thanks and teary affection, but surely he’ll at least be happy to see Leorio. Or as close to happy as Kurapika ever gets, he supposes.
So when Kurapika glares daggers at him the second he pushes past the curtain to his bedside, Leorio’s a little taken aback.
“Brought you some coffee,” he tries, holding out the styrofoam cup as a peace offering.
“I demand an explanation,” Kurapika snaps, ignoring the cup entirely.
Leorio blinks.
“A what?”
“An explanation. Why did you interrupt me in the middle of a personal matter?”
For a moment, Leorio stands utterly frozen, trying desperately to make sense of Kurapika’s words.
“Wait…” he begins slowly. “You want an explanation as to why I saved your life?”
At that, Kurapika bristles.
“I did not require your help in that situation. If I had, I would’ve contacted you to request it.”
Leorio slams the cup down onto Kurapika’s bedside table hard enough that some of the coffee splashes over the edge.
“Sorry, but I’ve got to be misunderstanding something. Even someone as bullheaded as you can admit that you weren’t going to walk away from that fight if someone hadn’t intervened.”
“I was fine,” Kurapika hisses.
“Bull shit you were fine! You would’ve died!”
“Believe it or not, there are things of greater importance than an individual human life.”
Leorio scrubs a hand over his face.
“Oh Christ,” he murmurs. “C’mon, you have to know that this guy didn’t really have any of the scarlet eyes. It was a trap, and you took the bait.”
The last sentence comes out more accusatory than Leorio intended. But Kurapika remains undeterred.
“I’m aware,” he says coolly. “But there was a chance he might have had information regarding where to find them. Now, however, we’ll never know, will we?”
Leorio’s whole body flushes hot, sweat beginning to prickle along his hairline.
“Woah, woah, back up–a chance? You were going to throw your life away for a chance at some information ? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Kurapika picks up the cup of coffee and takes a long, slow sip. When he sets the cup back down, his eyes are blazing with rage.
“You got what you wanted, Leorio—you were able to rush in and play the hero, as you’re so wont to do. So surely there’s no reason for you to wait around here any longer, is there?”
Leorio’s vision goes dark and hazy, and before he can stop himself, he’s slapped the cup off the table, sending coffee splashing across the floor.
“I didn’t haul ass across town and risk my life to ‘play the hero,’ Kurapika! I did it because I love you, you complete and utter bastard, and that means I don’t want you to die!”
As soon as Leorio says it, the hospital room goes silent. Even the ever present background noise of the hospital—the beeping machines, the footsteps of the staff in the hall, the buzz of the fluorescent lights—fades away. For a few long moments, there’s nothing but Leorio’s own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
Until, at last, Kurapika breaks the silence.
“I can’t,” he says softly.
“Oh.”
Leorio pays no mind to the newly gaping hole where his insides used to be, and wills himself to maintain his composure for just a few moments longer.
“Yeah, I understand. Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to… come out like that, you know? I can leave you be now.”
Leorio turns to go, but Kurapika’s hand shoots out and grabs his wrist, holding him in place.
“You have to understand me,” Kurapika says, with an urgency he hasn’t had for the whole conversation. “It’s not about what I want or don’t want. It’s just that I can’t.”
All at once, the exhaustion of the past day catches up with Leorio, and his body is heavy and sluggish and weak. He collapses into the chair at Kurapika’s bedside and runs a hand through his hair.
“I really don’t have the brainpower to decode secret messages right now, so you’re going to have to spell it out for me.”
Kurapika frowns.
“I, uh, feel similarly. To how you feel. It’s just, given the circumstances, I can’t involve myself in that sort of thing.”
“I mean, I’m not asking for your hand in marriage or a white picket fence. You can still go on your crazed revenge quest. I know what I’m signing up for.”
Leorio cracks a smile, but Kurapika doesn’t return it.
“You’re misunderstanding me.”
“Yeah, that’s because you’re not making any sense,” Leorio shoots back, the bickering comforting in its familiarity.
“It’s just… to involve myself with you, it wouldn’t be fair.”
Leorio reaches out and places his hand on top of Kurapika’s. Kurapika doesn’t pull away—small victories, Leorio supposes.
“It’s like I said—I know what I’m signing up for.”
Kurapika shakes his head.
“Not unfair to you. Unfair in that… in that I shouldn’t be indulging in something like that. Not when my whole clan is dead.”
And then it all comes together, with a sickening but revelatory clarity. Kurapika’s near-suicide mission. His fury at Leorio’s rescue. His refusal, now, even at allowing himself companionship.
“Survivor’s guilt.”
“What?”
Leorio clasps Kurapika’s hand in his own.
“That’s what this is–-it’s survivor’s guilt. It’s why you took the bait in the first place, despite knowing the risk. It’s why you’re so quick to throw your life away if an opportunity presents itself.”
Kurapika opens his mouth to protest, but closes it quickly. Leorio’s dead on, however much Kurapika would prefer him not to be.
“It’s okay,” Leorio says softly. “I’m not going to pressure you. You gotta work through it at your own pace. But if you ever decide you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
At last, Kurapika finds his voice.
“And you’ll do what in the meantime? Just wait?”
Leorio stands up, leaning over to press a kiss to Kurapika’s forehead.
“I’m not just going to sit around miserably, no. First things first, I’m going to clean up all this spilled coffee. And maybe go get you a new cup. That’s enough for me, for right now.”
And saying the words, Leorio finds he means them entirely.