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The members of the Armed Student Council were unexpectedly stumped.
On every regular day, they were quite competent as the official student council of Bungou Stray Dogs Academy. Disregarding their slightly unusual name, they functioned as a regular student council, working hard to ensure that the student body were doing okay at their school. Even if almost all the members of the council were eccentric in their own ways, they were all still respected by everyone around them.
They were student council members after all. It was natural that they'd be wise and efficient, wasn't it?
Which is exactly why it was kind of annoying that a group of such smart people were taking this long to figure out something as simple this.
To back up a little bit, the Armed Student Council had just been informed of a cultural fest that was supposed to take place at their school. Unlike the usual cultural fairs, this one was supposed to be open even to students of other schools. Including their rival school. This obviously meant that this festival had to be way, way better than the rest.
There was no way they could just offer a mediocre cultural fest to students from all over Yokohama, could they? That simply would not do. After all, they did have their school's reputation and dignity to uphold, as best said by one of the math professors, named Kunikida-sensei.
Moreover, according to the school board, even the student council were required to put up a stall of their own at a festival. A stall. Of their own. At a culture festival!
It was pretty monumental, even if it didn't really sound like it, alright? For as long as they could remember, their job at any sort of event or festival was to oversee everything, to monitor the situations, maintain their budget, compile finance records and so on. The administrative work, as usual.
They weren't used to being on the front lines!
To actually go out and build a stall, and to go as far as to running it on their own? Wasn't that really something that was ought to be done by the civilians?! Ahem, the regular student body. Especially the ones who participated in clubs. The student council members were too busy for the likes of joining clubs, really.
Hence, the dilemma they found themselves in right now.
At four in the evening, after all classes had ended, the members of the Armed Student Council gathered at the infamous council room. Their mission was to finally decide on exactly what kind of stall they would be putting up; they had put it off for too long, after all. They really, really needed to decide on something quick and easy.
Kenji, one of the regular members, suggested thoughtfully, "How about we run a brownie sale? That sounds pretty fun."
The head of the health committee, Yosano, shot that idea down immediately, "No can do. That will take too much effort."
"And funds." added Ranpo, the council president. A second later, he added, "Brownies do sound good, though."
Yosano rolled her eyes at him, "Go get some from the bakery. No need to sell it ourselves."
Before another 'friendly' argument could break out, Tanizaki took it upon himself to suggest another idea, "Well, what about a lemonade stand then?"
Yosano shot that down as well, "Squeezing lemons is a pain."
Tanizaki started, "I have a friend who's great at working with lemons."
Atsushi, a new recruit, joined in meekly, "Oh, Kajii-san? He is pretty good at-"
Yosano brushed it off with a wave of her hands, "Nope. Too much effort. We need something easy, people."
A collective sigh from every other member in the room. Their resident future doctor was incredibly difficult to please, as always. Ah, and she was so picky too! Really, what a pain. There was no way they would be able to make any decisions at this rate, would they? Honestly, it was so annoying.
The back and forth of various ideas continued for the next few minutes, till the infamously deviant secretary of the council, Dazai Osamu himself, walked into the room.
He blinked at the gathering in front of him, "Are you guys having a meeting without telling me?"
As usual, Yosano was the first one to shoot back, "You'd know about it if you actually ever checked your phone."
With raised eyebrows, Dazai pulled out his phone before going through the student council group chat, "Ah, it's about the cultural fest stall. I see. Have we decided on anything yet?"
Atsushi explained in a soft voice, "We're trying but, uh, Yosano-san..."
Yosano huffed, "All your ideas just sound like too much work."
Ranpo nodded in agreement, "Yeah. Can somebody suggest something easier?"
Taking his seat, Dazai thought for a second, before presenting his idea, a mischievous smirk ever present on his face, "How about we do a Kissing Booth then? Not all of us are completely terrible looking."
For a few seconds, nobody said anything.
Then, Yosano burst out laughing, "That's a nice joke! It sounds insanely easy, but Kunikida-sensei would never agree to that."
Naturally, the official advisor for the student council had to be that one strict math teacher.
Ranpo raised his eyebrows in amusement as well, "Well, that's not half of a bad idea. But Yosano-san is right. Kunikida-sensei would never agree."
Dazai brushed their concerns off, "The question is, are you guys up for it? Leave the rest to me. I'm sure Kunikida-sensei will, come around."
His eyes and the way his lips curved up in a suspicious smirk clearly relayed the fact that he most probably wasn't considering using verbal persuasion as his method to get the council advisor to come around.
Responding to his question, Tanizaki spoke up, "Uh, I'd rather not man that kind of stall. Naomi would not-"
Dazai moved right past that, "Don't worry. I wasn't planning on asking you, or Atsushi-kun or Kenji-kun for such a thing. We'd be terrible senpais if we let our kouhais do that, ne?"
Well, Atsushi didn't know about his peers, but he sure as hell was grateful that Dazai-san had, at least, some morals.
Yosano stared at her colleague pointedly, "Does that mean it's up to me and Ranpo-san?"
Dazai laced his fingers innocently, "Oh but of course! Neither of you are terrible to look at, after all."
Ranpo tipped his hat back, turning to face the so-called genius, "I don't mind as long as most of it is platonic."
Yosano hummed thoughtfully, "From a doctor's point of view, it's not the safest thing to do, but you know, it's still a cultural fest. Things won't go too far anyway."
Dazai clapped his hands together, "Great! We are in agreement then. I'll figure it out with Kunikida-sensei soon enough."
Ranpo, who was already over this meeting and on his way to exit the room, just waved once, "Great. I'm gonna go now then. See you guys later."
Once he'd left, Yosano turned to the secretary, "And what about you? Won't you take a shift at the booth?"
Dazai let out another suspicious grin, "Hm, it depends. But don't count on it."
And that was all he said before he gathered his things an left as well, leaving Yosano to figure out the details with the junior members of the council. He was willing to take up the duty of confirming things with the advisor, but that's as far as he was willing to go.
Ah, but now he had something to look forward to.
The cultural festival was sure to be super exciting for him this way.
-
By the time the next week rolled around, all the clubs at BSD Academy were ready with their stalls, completely prepared for the big day. The cultural clubs were the stars of the show this time around, and they even had managed to get the help of the sports club members. It never hurt to have extra pairs of hands on deck, after all.
As for the student council's kissing booth, that was all set up as well. Yosano was quite efficient when she wanted to be, and she had easily figured out the required set up for her colleagues to do their part. Namely, she intimidated the woodworks club into making a simple booth for the student council. In exchanged, they were promised one free go at the kissing booth. See? Efficient.
As for the details of how the business model would actually work, that was left for Tanizaki to figure out, and jot down the details down on a menu-like poster. And both the 'staff' of the kissing booth were insistent that they only offer two things; simple, platonic cheek kisses and super, super expensive kisses. You know, like the real ones. Not on the cheek. It was still just a proper peck, though.
The cultural festival started well enough. The gates opened to students from all over the city, and so far, nobody seemed to have any complaints. All the stalls were doing fairly good, and business seemed to be booming. Well, as far as it could in a high-school fest set up.
The student council's Kissing Booth caused a buzz when word of it eventually spread. Quite a few people seemed to have crushes on the Council President, and the Health Committee Director, apparently. Even more so, a lot of people seemed to want to try shooting their shot at the secretary.
But Dazai had already made it clear that he would not be participating in taking over shifts at the booth. Much to the disappointment of his numerous, numerous fangirls.
However, everything did change, maybe for the worse, soon enough.
It all started when a particularly infamous transfer student showed up at the kissing booth. All the Armed Student Council members were familiar with Nakahara Chuuya; a brutish, short chibi who had transferred over from their rival school. Naturally, such a description could only ever be given by one person.
That's right; their secretary, Dazai. Despite insulting each other at all times, Dazai and Chuuya seemed to be pretty close. And Chuuya hung around the student council quite a lot, causing all the members to be really familiar with him by now.
The reason for his transfer to this school was unknown, but it was pretty obvious that Chuuya knew Dazai even before. There was a deep-seated familiarity in their every interaction, and it was really apparent, much to Yosano's distaste.
Presently, Chuuya had just walked over to their kissing booth. Or rather, he was still walking towards them. Yosano had somehow managed to make eye contact with him already, and they'd exchanged waves.
The suspicious circumstances began when, precisely at the moment Yosano spotted Chuuya, she noticed that Dazai had disappeared from his spot behind the kissing booth. Rather than being at his previously designated spot, he was now at the booth, clearly having swapped places with Ranpo.
Considering that, and the fact that the kissing booth sign was flipped to 'open', it appeared that despite his previous reluctance, Dazai was taking a shift at the booth. As expected, all his fangirls had caught scent of such a rare occurrence, and had already crowded around the booth.
Chuuya on the other hand, said hello to the other council members before walking over to his rival, "Oi, shitty Dazai. What are you doing?"
Dazai blinked at him innocently, "My job, of course! Whatever do you mean?"
It was noticeable , how Chuuya had froze in his spot, "You're working the Kissing Booth?"
The secretary lied straight through his teeth, "Naturally. That is why I'm here after all."
Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him, "I see. Actually, who would even want to kiss your ugly ass?"
For a change, Dazai said absolutely nothing. Instead, he just beckoned over at all the girls crowding around them, his lips twitching of their own accord. Clearly, he was trying his best to hold in a smile.
Chuuya sighed, as if he was really so annoyed, "Well, you're still ugly and annoying. If they knew how you go around asking every other woman for double suicide, they'd probably change their minds."
Dazai brushed right past that, "Anyway, why is Chuuya here? I thought you're just another athletic brute, who wants nothing to do with culture?"
The transfer student smacked him in the arm, "Shut the fuck up. You know that's not true. But my friends are coming to visit here today."
This time, it was Dazai who froze, "Your friends from that Sheep school?"
Chuuya smirked, "Yep."
Yosano wasn't really sure what was being implied, so she just watched as Dazai very uncomfortably shooed his rival away, "That aside, Chuuya should go away already. Everyone, the kissing booth is back in business!"
And so, the ridiculous little business opened up again, with a changed staff this time. The line in front of Dazai's booth window was ridiculously long, as expected. Yosano just watched with curious amusement as Dazai reluctantly agreed to give cheek kisses, and as he turned down all of the real ones.
On the other hand, Chuuya was just sitting a little distance away, watching the whole episode with an evergreen smirk on his face. Soon enough, his friends from the rival Sheep school had shown up. Among them, the most prominent were these two people.
A girl, with bright pink hair, apparently named Yuan. And a guy, with grey hair, probably named Shirase. Chuuya appeared to be rather close to them, smiling and laughing all the same whenever either of them said anything.
And a few yards away, it was Dazai who kept getting distracted, his eyes wandering back to his rival ever so often. Chuuya was obviously jittery as well, because soon enough, his two friends finally took mercy on him. The grey haired guy snickered rather loudly, "Fine, fine. Just go shoot your shot at the kissing booth already."
And boy, he sure didn't have to say it twice. Chuuya was off his chair with a fraction of a second, already making his way towards the booth. Very suspicious of the upcoming events, Yosano stilled. What if Chuuya lined up at her window? Wouldn't that be really awkward? After all, he had this weird homoerotic tension going with Dazai, so...
Well, at the very least, her worries turned out to be really unnecessary. Because sure enough, Chuuya lined up at Dazai's window. As expected of him, really. But what was unexpected was, the way Dazai actually brightened with he saw Chuuya in his line.
Yosano was so over this already. It would be really nice if those two figured their shit already, to be honest. There was no reason to act like they were in a cliché mutual pining trope fanfiction, was there? Really. How infuriating.
Further, as expected, Dazai 'serviced' the people before Chuuya in line rather fast, not even bothering to stop to look at them. When it was finally the redhead's turn, the secretary steeled himself, with unwavering patience, as he expectantly looked upon his rival.
A smirk still highlighting his face lightly, Chuuya slid over his money as he spoke, not hesitating for a second, "A kiss please, if you'll have me. A proper one."
Before Dazai could say anything, however, Ranpo hollered from the side, "Sorry, Chuuya-kun! Dazai isn't willing to do-"
Dazai cut him off immediately, "I'll do it."
Well obviously, Yosano was not the one to be surprised, or even bat a single eyelash at this whole situation. As for the other council members; well, they were just existing in their endless state of confusion. And Dazai's other fangirls? They were watching with their jaws dropped in shock.
Chuuya laughed some more, as he finally stood up on his tiptoes before leaning in and kissing his rival softly.
For two whole seconds, the duo just stood there, before pulling back. Chuuya fondly scoffed at the other, "There. Does that make you happy?"
A satisfied smile adorning his face, Dazai nodded, "Very."
Chuuya just snorted, "You're such a loser."
Now, stupid people just happened to exist in every sphere of life. Especially, in high school. One of such stupid people, a girl who was probably the president of the Dazai fan club or something, chose to showcase her stupidity by interrupting the on-going moment,
"Dazai-san! But, you said you wouldn't do any proper kisses with anyone. Isn't this unfair?!"
Yosano turned to this person, with a set death glare, "Listen, you-"
Before she could continue, Dazai took over, "Eh, but it's different, isn't it?"
The seemingly endlessly ridiculous girl huffed in question, "How so?"
This time, it was Chuuya who chose to answer and clear things up, "This bastard is my boyfriend, so. I suggest you go get your own if you want 'proper kisses'."
Well, it was safe to say that this was the moment that Chuuya single-handedly broke the hearts of multiple women all at once, with just one earth-shattering sentence. Some of them turned to Dazai in horror, "Dazai-san, is this true?!"
Dazai cocked his head innocently, "Of course?"
Nearby, Yosano glared at the ridiculous duo in front of her, "You guys-! Can you two actually stop?"
Chuuya grinned at her, knowing full well what he was doing, "Stop dating? As much as I would like to, I don't think I can do that, Sensei."
Yosano huffed, "Not that, of course! Just. Just leave, actually. Ranpo-san come back, please."
Ranpo was clearly having too much fun with this, but despite that, he resumed his position at the kissing booth once again. It was safe to say that Dazai had already been kicked out there; and Chuuya was being shoved away too.
Laughing a little louder than necessary, the duo took their leave from the center of the cultural festival, finding themselves in a secluded bench within seconds. Of course, Dazai was lying down with his head on Chuuya's lap soon enough.
He complained softly, "Chuuya met his old friends and forgot all about me."
The transfer student laughed, "I couldn't forget about you even if I tried. What are you on about?"
Dazai insisted with a huff, "You can't sweet talk your way out of this. You betrayer!"
Chuuya hummed casually, "Do I need to remind you that you just spent the last half hour kissing a bunch of girls that were most definitely not me?"
The secretary huffed, "Duty called, Chuuya! And it was just on the cheek."
His partner rolled his eyes, "Duty, pfft. You took up the shift on purpose, just to make me jealous."
Dazai peered up at him, "Well, did it work? Were you jealous, Chuuya-kun?"
Chuuya snorted, "Not even one bit. And don't call me that. Besides, you were the one who got unnecessarily jealous. Over my friends, that too."
A pouty huff, "It's just that Yuan. I swear, she likes you."
"She doesn't. You're imagining things."
"I am not!"
Chuuya laughed some more before leaning over and kissing the other's nose, "You're ridiculous. Stay quiet, shitty Dazai."
Dazai sighed in content, "That's no way to treat your boyfriend. Especially when you forgot about him!"
This time, Chuuya pinched his partner's cheeks, "I did not forget you, damn it. Besides, again, you were the one who went around kissing people!"
A super annoying whine, "That was just part of the job!"
As nonchalantly as possible, Chuuya stated, "Don't do that again."
Dazai sat up straight, beaming at his partner in excitement, "So you were jealous?!"
Chuuya huffed, "No but-"
The other giggled for a bit before switching gears, "Anyway, I won't do that again. Plus, I did ask you if I could take on a shift beforehand and you said yes."
The redhead complained, "I didn't think you were actually gonna do it!"
Dazai smiled giddily some more as he patted the other, "Aw, I'm sorry, Chibi."
Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Don't mention it. Idiot."
Just for extra safe measures though, he did lean forward to properly kiss his boyfriend again, "Mhm. Anyway. Shall we go check out the festival?"
Ears bright red, Dazai just stood up in a rush, "Sure. Let's go!"
As he followed his rival back to the festival, Chuuya snorted in amusement, "Dude, stop blushing so much. You're giving me secondhand embarrassment. We've been together over two years, you know?"
Dazai gasped at him in offense, "How rude! Chuuya is a meanie."
The transfer student just wrapped an arm around the secretary as they made their way back, "Shut up, dork."
And well, the student body as well as the visiting students from other schools could collectively agree on at least one thing, after seeing such a display of the rivals walking together. That being, Dazai and Chuuya were definitely going to end up being the epitome of that one cliché high school couple that disgusted and grossed everyone out.
Naturally, they were absolutely correct.