Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Day 1

        "C'mon, Raph. Sit still!"

       Raphael groaned in pain, a headache starting to form as his brother checked out his eye. Donnie had dragged him to his lab after patching Leo up, something about a possible alien infection in his eye or what not. Raph didn't know, didn't really care. He was more concerned about his family being taken care of than himself. Mikey's hands were shaking terribly and looked awful. Donnie's shell was bleeding and had multiple abrasions littered about it. But Leo, however, had it the worst.

         The snapping turtle had only seen a fraction of it but, what the softshell had said was going on sounded horrible. Blood loss, shell and plastron fractures, internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, a broken arm, and a concussion were just a few on the list of many. It was a miracle the slider was even alive. Leo had waved them all away, stating that he was fine and cracking a joke in an attempt to ease everyone's worries. A classic Leonardo bluff.

         The snapping turtle sighed and pulled away from his brother in order to level him with a glare.

         "Enough, Donnie", he huffed. "You look worse off than me, so take care of yourself." The softshell scowled and folded his arms.

         "Scoff. And I suppose you know all about how to patch up wounds? About how an infection looks and whether it's life threatening or not? Hmm?" Raph frowned and scratched the back of his head. His brother had a point there, he couldn't deny it. That wasn't gonna stop the elder of the two from giving the other a stern look. He was dead set on his brother taking care of himself before even thinking about his eye. 

        Donnie gave a long loud sigh in reluctance. He furrowed his eyebrows and gave a small pout, turning his head to stare down at the floor.

        "If that's what it'll take for you to stop nagging so much…" The softshell pressed a button on his wrist tech, causing his battle shell to slide off with a hiss. Raph watched as he gathered some medical supplies before placing them in front of the snapper. Donnie huffed and gazed up at his brother.

         "...Could you help me? I'll guide you through it." Raph smiled and nodded, waiting for his brother to turn around. Once he did, the snapper frowned at the sight. Truly, his brother's shell had seen better days. With the genius's help, the two slowly but surely patched up the shell. They sat in silence for a while, Raph finishing up his work. Once he made sure the bandages were secure, he turned Donnie around to face him. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw his brother with tears threatening to fall. The snapper pulled him into an embrace, careful to avoid touching his sensitive shell.

           "Hey, hey…What's the matter, bud", he whispered softly. It was rare for the softshell to express emotion so freely. The fact that he was doing so meant that it was a pretty serious problem. 'Perhaps he's a bit overstimulated', Raph thought as he gently patted the back of the younger's head. Donnie let out a sniffle before letting out a shaky sigh.

          "Can you blame me? First, an alien warmonger comes and tries to wipe us all out. Then, he gets rid of our powers. Then, you get captured and turned into a Krang zombie. Nevermind that Mikey and I almost died trying to make it out of the subway tunnels. I buried myself into a slimy Krang control panel to take charge of a ship and we get captured. And - And then… then…!" Raph stayed quiet as his brother ranted, heart breaking every time he took a break to inhale shakily. He could feel the tears fall against his plastron, hugging the younger closer to his chest.

         "Everything that's happened…it was scary… I was scared… I thought we'd lost you…and Leo… So, forgive me if I'm stubborn with wanting to make sure you're okay, Raph… Especially since you and Leon got the worst end of the stick…" Raph frowned before shaking his head. He didn't get the worst end. In his mind, his brothers nearly dying was the worst of it all. But, it wasn't about what he thought at the moment. This was about Donnie.

         "I know it was hard, Dee. But, know that we're here. We made it through together. I'm not going anywhere, Donnie. None of us are. You'll be stuck with us dumb dumbs till the end, yeah?" The softshell let out a chuckle at that, the sound bringing a smile to Raph's face. The two exchanged some more heartfelt words, secrets and fears that would remain only between them. Over an hour passed before the snapping turtle allowed his brother to leave his embrace. 

         Donnie let out a cough before turning to grab something off his workbench. Raph mused that the younger was a bit embarrassed for allowing his emotions to take over so suddenly. After handing the snapping turtle a bottle of what appeared to be painkillers, the softshell pushed him out of the lab and nagged him about getting some rest. Raph allowed it, knowing it would ease his brother's worry somewhat. He made his way towards his room, only stopping to grab a glass of water for his medication. It was only when he'd finally stepped into the room and closed his curtain that he felt the exhaustion seep into his bones.

           It made his eyes droop and head throb, a constant pounding sensation right above his right eye. The snapper sighed and opened the pill bottle, gulping down the meds and rubbing at his temple. He could feel a stinging sensation in his shell and plastron. As well as a stinging warmth on his damaged shoulder. 'Is it going to scar?' He couldn't help but frown at the thought. It made him, in all honesty, a little regretful that he hadn't allowed Donnie to work on him. Raph sighed and went to place his glass on his dresser. Unfortunately, he'd missed the dresser entirely, the glass slipping from his fingers and shattering on the floor.

          The snapper stared at the shards in front of his dresser in disbelief. He dropped it? How had he dropped it? The piece of furniture was right in front of him and he still missed it…? With a grunt of frustration, he left out of his room and trudged to the kitchen in search of a broom. Only, he would have if he could remember where the kitchen was… How come he couldn't remember where the kitchen was…? Raph scratched his head in confusion before spotting April walking out of a room. He hurried over to her, praying she'd be able to tell him if he was going the right way or not.

         "April", he called out as soon as he caught up to her. The girl glanced at him over her shoulder before turning to him with a smile. She was a bit worse for wear - bruises here and a few cuts there - but other than that, she looked fine.

        "Hey, Raph! What's going on, little bro?" The snapping turtle gave an awkward chuckle.

         "Nothing much just… I can't find the kitchen…?" This made the older of the two raise an eyebrow. Raph mentally chastised himself about how stupid he sounded. April placed a hand on her hip, the other pointing down the hall.

        "It's um…right pass this hall on the right", she stated with a concerned frown marring her face. "Are you okay…? Donnie checked you out, right?" The snapper gave a nervous laugh and nodded.

         "Yeah, no, I'm all good. Just…fog brain, I guess…heh."

         "Riiight…I'm gonna go check in with Mikey. I'll see you later, Raph." With that, April left. He sighed and made his way towards the kitchen. As soon as he got there, a feeling of shame washed over him. How could he forget how to get here? He lived here, for Pete's sake! He grumbled curses under his breath as he searched for the broom. Once he found it, he let out a triumphant huff and grabbed it. Raphael's vision suddenly went black.

        "...ael…! Ra….el…! ...Raphael!" With a gasp, Raph's eyes snapped open. His forehead was beading with sweat and his head was pounding so hard that he thought the pain alone was going to make him pass out. There was a ringing in his ear and his vision was blurred. The snapper blinked his eyes repeatedly, trying to will away the fog clouding his vision. He felt a hand on his head and fingers brushing his cheek. As the fog cleared, he could make out a face above him. It was his dad. Splinter was gazing down at his son with worry etched onto his features.

          "Raphael! My son, are you alright?!" Raph groaned and slowly sat up, his dad moving to allow his son room. He placed a hand on his head, the pain in his skull making it hard to think. To breathe… Splinter moved to sit in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

         "Raphael…?" The snapper puffed out air in growing agitation. His head was pounding and his father constantly calling out his name wasn't making it any better. It seemed he sensed this because the elder quieted down and waited patiently for his son to get his bearings. Raph's jaw felt heavy and his tongue was fuzzy. He took a few breaths to steady himself and tried hard to ignore the pounding in his skull. His voice was raspy as he spoke, each sentence broken up and requiring more work to say.

         "Dad…How long was…I out…?"

         "Not that long, my son. Less than five minutes, perhaps. I had seen you fall and ran over to you not even a second after. What happened?" Raph gave a confused grimace. This was weird. He was sure he didn't have a concussion. Why did he just pass out? Out of nowhere at that. It didn't add up. Maybe he really should have let Donnie check him out…

         "Raphael…?" The snapper gave his dad a pained smile and sighed. Slowly, he stumbled to his feet, gripping the countertop all the while. Splinter placed a hand on his son's lower back, steadying him as he hunched himself over to the dining room table. He grunted as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Looking over to his father, he spoke in a hushed tone.

        "Could you get…the meds in my room…? Please…? The bottle…is on my bed…" Splinter sighed before waving a bottle in front of his eyes.

        "You mean this", he muttered. "You dropped it when you fell." Raph's brows furrowed at this. He hadn't left them on his bed? He could've sworn he sat them down after taking some. Something really was wrong with him. It wasn't like him to forget so many things at once. His father grumbled and gently pushed his son to sit on one of the chairs, gathering the bottle and a cup of water. The snapper was handed a couple of pills and swallowed them down not a moment later, Splinter watching him intently. 

         The two stayed silent, Raph unable to even think about talking until his headache went down. Almost half an hour passed before the throbbing slowed down to an annoying yet tolerable thud. Taking a deep breath, the snapper grabbed the cup of water and took another gulp. He placed the cup down and spared a glance at his father. His voice was laced with exhaustion as he spoke, his words slurring just a bit.

        "Everything's a'right…Just tired 's all…" He didn't want his dad to worry any more than he had to. Besides, he was Raphael. He always bounced back. Whatever had happened would go away. He just had to wait it out. Splinter squinted his eyes, suspicion lurking within them. Raph just waved a hand, trying hard to dismiss his fears. He would be alright. He had to be alright. It was his responsibility to be alright. His dad frowned and folded his arms.

         "I don't know, Red… At least let me help you to bed, yes? My heart wouldn't know peace unless I know you are resting." The snapping turtle sighed and nodded in reluctance. His father helped him up and walked him to his room, making sure he didn't bump into anything on the way. They made it to their destination, Splinter easing his son into the bed and making sure he was tucked in before letting out a sigh. He patted Raph's head once more before walking out of the room, closing the curtain behind him.

         The darkness of the room and the warmth of the blankets pulled Raph to sleep, his eyes straying towards the broken glass on his floor before they slid shut. He'd pick it up once he woke up…

                                  Day 2

           It had taken Donnie five times to wake him up. It wasn't that Raph was a heavy sleeper. Quite the opposite, actually. The snapper usually would've been able to hear the shift of his curtain and the light padding of footsteps. He prided himself in being able to differentiate his family based on how they walked. That being said, it had taken him by surprise when his eyes finally peeled themselves open and was met with worried ones peering into his own. 

          Donnie was staring down at him and was pressing a hand to his forehead. Raph sat up quickly. Almost immediately, he regretted it, his head screaming in pain and his stomach gurgling in protest. He slapped a hand against his mouth and used his other to push his brother away from him. The snapper threw his blankets aside and tumbled off of his bed. His footsteps heavy and legs wobbly, Raph rushed out of his room and towards the bathroom as quickly as he could. 

         Once he got there, he stumbled his way towards the toilet and fell to his knees. His chest heaved and choked gasps left him as his hands gripped the rims. He felt bile creep up his throat and the contents of his stomach were emptied into the toilet. Raph gagged and choked, the ringing in his ears so loud that it was almost painful. The excruciating headache was back and if he wasn't heaving his very being into the can, he would have cried in frustration.

         Suddenly, he felt a shaky hand rub in between his shoulder blades. Panting, he took a quick glance behind him, noticing only a hint of purple before he returned to his gagging into the toilet. After what felt like hours, he spat out the remaining crud in his mouth and slowly sat back on his haunches. God, he was tired. Whatever little bug he'd somehow contracted was getting on his nerves. That was his only explanation for yesterday and well…this. He let out shaky breaths and groaned as his head continued to throb in pain.

          It was then that he noticed what appeared to be a handkerchief dangling in his face. Mustering up his remaining strength, he turned his head and found himself locking eyes with none other than Donatello. The genius was squirming, clearly put off by the sounds and smell of Raph's sickness yet, still trying his best to support him. With shaky fingers, the snapper moved to flush the toilet and grabbed the handkerchief. He wiped at his mouth and let out a hum in appreciation. After several heartbeats, the softshell began to speak, his voice quiet and concerned.

           "Raph…I really think I should check up on you. Your condition is… You don't look so hot…" Raph groaned and shook his head, eyes he hadn't known he'd closed fluttering open in an attempt to glare at the younger. He wasn't sure it had worked though, seeing as Donnie's face grew tight and his eyes widened even more. Many things happened at once. 

         The lights to the bathroom were flicked on, the snapper not even aware that they were off to begin with. Two of Donnie's battle shells flew in, specifically the one with the robot arms and one carrying all types of medical supplies within it. Raph was laid on the floor with a rolled up towel propping up his head and the robotic arms on the softshell extended to hold the elder down. The snapper tried to voice his complaints, tried to fight off the arms holding him. But, he physically couldn't, his body too weak and his headache too consuming. 

          Flipping his goggles down onto his eyes, Donnie gazed at Raph's eyes, scanning him for any problems. The light was making his eyes and head hurt even more than they already were. The softshell was frowning, his eyebrows scrunched up and sweat beading his forehead. He pulled back his goggles and stared down at his older brother, lips trembling ever so slightly. Raph blinked rapidly and willed himself to focus on the genius, his "big brother senses" telling him that Donnie was beginning to become upset. His mouth felt as if it was full of cotton. He smacked his lips together and pushed his vocal cords to make a sound, any sound he could.

        "D-Deeeee…", he mumbled. His words were coming out slowly and messy, almost like he was a baby again. "No….N-No cry…m'kays…? Raph's f-finess…" The younger was frantically looking around, robot arms retreating back into the battle shell once more. Raph watched as he wrung his wrists and licked at his lips repeatedly. Something the elder knew as a sign of the younger's nervousness and overstimulation kicking in. Slowly, the snapper sat up and placed a shaky hand on his brother's knee before his breath hitched.

         Raphael's jaw snapped shut, teeth clicking together loudly. Snaggletooth digging into his lip, the snapper's eyes clenched shut. His muscles seized up and his body jerked harshly. With a loud thud, his body fell back down to the floor, head quickly caught by Donnie before it slammed down. A whimpered gurgle was all that could leave his lips, strained through his teeth and almost sounding like a hiss. He gazed up at his frightened brother, wanting to ease the look on his face but unable to move. The twitching and jerking continued, the softshell rolling him on his side and crying out for help. April was the one to kick open the door, rushing to aid a shivering Donnie. 

          "What's going on?! What happened to him?", she said frantically, taking the softshell's place beside Raph. The snapper let out a strained whimper, mouth opening slightly and drool seeping out the edges. Donnie's hands were shaking and his voice was wavering as he spoke.

         "R-Raph's having a seizure… H-He was throwing up at first and then I-I saw his eyes…I don't know what's going on anymore…I c-can't help him..I don't know what t-to do…! I…!" The softshell was crying, lips trembling and hands clutching the sides of his head as he gazed down at his brother. 'Please don't make that face', he thought to himself, head pounding all the while. 'Please don't cry for me, little brother.' Raph had tears in his eyes upon seeing his brother's state, his body starting to relax and the jerking starting to cease. He tried to speak, tried to calm his brother down but all that left his lips was a whine. April sniffled and looked down at her watch. She sighed.

          "Raph, little brother, it's okay. It only lasted about a minute. We're gonna get you some help, okay?" She then turned to Donnie and pulled him into a hug, calming him down a bit before yelling for help from Splinter. Everything else felt like a blur, Raph's eyes growing heavy and pain radiating throughout his whole body. One moment he was still lying on the bathroom floor and the next, he was laying down in a bed pushed against Leo's gurney. He rolled his head over to look at his brother, briefly wondering where Donnie and April had gone before a hand brought his attention back to his bed-ridden brother.

         Leo was gazing at him, a small smile on his face and concern gleaming in his eyes. That was the last thing Raph could fully register before sleep welcomed him with open arms and a warm embrace.

            "From my experience, this sounds like a serious case of brain damage", Casey explained with a frown on his lips. Not long after Raphael had fallen asleep, April, Mikey, Splinter and Leo - Donnie had become nonverbal and was consoled and told to rest up - had asked the futuristic teen his thoughts on the matter. It had surprised the slider to see his brother - being carried by Donnie's tech - going in and out of consciousness as he was brought to the medbay. April and Splinter had been the ones to bring him, carefully explaining all that the softshell was able to get across.

           Leo didn't understand what could have possibly caused this to happen, his heart aching at everything that he'd been told. Why was this happening? And to his older brother at that? Hadn't the poor guy been through enough…? 

          "It just doesn't make any sense." It had been April that spoke up, a pout on her lips and tears in her eyes.

        "Raph hadn't gotten hit in the head, according to Dee." 

        "It's not always that", Leo croaked. He knew a thing or two about injuries because of his twin. "It can come from infection or other things. Like poison or heart attacks…" Mikey whimpered and wiped at his eyes.

        "This can't be right", he said while shaking his head. His voice was thick with tears. "Raph is healthy. Always has been. He's never had a heart attack and I doubt he had one now." Everyone was pondering what could have caused the snapper so much hurt. Everyone except Leonardo, that is. It was like something clicked inside his brain. Infection. The only infection that his brother had come in contact with recently was…! Leo grimaced, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. It couldn't have been the cause, right…? With a heavy breath, he spoke.

              "Casey…An infection is usually a bunch of stuff invading your body, right…?" The boy nodded, his eyebrows furrowed. The slider's body shook and his eyes darted to and fro. He licked his lips nervously and gave out a shaky sigh, placing a hand on Raph's forehead. The latter was sleeping soundly, a pout forming on his lips. Leo spoke with a heavy breath.

        "A-And…Say someone were to take the main part of the infection out without a proper medical procedure…" Casey grimaced and Mikey shook his head. Leo could tell they knew where this was going. Splinter gazed at his sons quizzically, confused and slightly frightened about whatever the slider was about to say. April wiped the tears from her eyes and willed Leo to continue. In all honesty, he wasn't sure he wanted to. 

            The slider felt tears stinging behind his eyelids and he took a deep breath. 

            "Leon… You don't mean…?"

Leonardo gazed at Mikey sadly and allowed the tears to fall. He knew it was possible. Hell, it was the only obvious answer…! His tone was a hushed whisper and yet, it sounded way too loud for the dead silent room.

            "So…Being turned into a Krang zombie kinda fits the 'infection' bit, right…?"

Chapter Text

Day 3

                                "Retreat!"

                    "Retreat?! We don't 'retreat'!"

           "Leo, for once, listen to me! They're too powerful and dad's hurt!"

                                        .

            "I'm not gonna argue with you, Leo!"

                                        .

                                        .

                             "....Raph…?"

           With a gasp, Leonardo snapped his eyes open and stared at the ceiling. His breath was coming out in heavy pants, sweat staining the sheet on the gurney underneath him. The images of Raphael getting hurt were fresh in his mind, replaying over and over like a broken record. His mouth was dry and his lips were chapped as he willed the nightmare away from his thoughts. The slider slowly sat up and gazed over towards his left, the bed beside him occupied by none other than the sleeping snapper himself. He was okay. He wasn't with the Krang anymore. Raph was fine and was just resting… Only, he wasn't fine…

         Leo continued staring at his older brother from his place beside him, watching as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Raph had been sound asleep for a little over twelve hours now, not a common thing for the snapper to do. He couldn't help but watch as he slept, his worry outweighing his own exhaustion. Could anyone blame him? Especially when Draxum had arrived - the yokai having taken a vacation to Tahiti and absolutely livid once he learned of the events that had taken place in his absence and caused his family harm - and confirmed his suspicions. Raph had brain damage. And it was all Leo's fault. 

          'There's no way he could possibly be the same after this, ya know…" , he unwillingly thought, his mind practically hissing at him. 'You're the one who caused this. All because of your arrogance. Part of his shell is broken and his brain is all messed up now because of you .' The slider was frowning at this point, fingers clenching tightly around the brace on his broken right arm. He dug his nails further down, the pain from the action racing through his body and serving as a blatant reminder. Reminder…? Reminder for what, exactly…?

            'How you failed as a leader. As a protector. As a brother - '

           "Don't do that, Leo…" The raspy voice broke through the slider's thoughts, a hand grabbing loosely at his blankets. Blinking rapidly, Leo looked towards the voice in confusion. His eyes widened suddenly. It was Raph. The snapping turtle was gazing at him softly, half lidded eyes gazing at him with concern and lips pulled into a tight line. The elder let out a small grunt, squirming a bit before relaxing into his newfound position. The slider felt a stinging sensation behind his eyes as he moved his hand to grip the one holding onto his blanket.

          "Raph…", he exclaimed softly, watching his brother intently. "You're awake! Is…Is everything okay…? How do you feel?" Raph groaned and lifted a slightly shaky hand up to wave dismissively at his brother. This made Leo frown a bit.

        "You shouldn't…Don't worry…Raph will be fine…Don't say stuff like that no more…" His words were spoken in a hushed tone, almost inaudible if it weren't just the two of them in the room. Leo quirked up an eyebrow in confusion.

         "What are you talking about? Don't say what?" The snapper grunted and leveled him with what the younger could only hope to guess was a glare.

       "Nothing's your…fault. Raph is just sick…You're the best lil bro I could…ask for…yeah…" This made the slider's cheeks burn just a bit. Had he really said all of that out loud…? Groaning, Raph closed his eyes and placed a hand against his head. He spoke once more, confusion laced within his words.

       "Leo…Where am I…? How'd I get here...?" The younger blinked incredulously at the elder before shaking his head. This was normal with brain damage. Duh. He should've known Raph would be a bit forgetful. 

        "You're in the medbay, big Raphie. You weren't looking too hot and was brought here…. Do you not remember anything, big bro…?" The snapper was frowning deeply, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and seemingly pain. His breath was starting to come out in light pants and it had Leo leaning in, focusing a bit more on his brother's condition. His brother clenched his teeth together and spoke harshly through them.

        "N-No…No, Raph…doesn't remember… 's hot, Leo…Raph's hot…head hurts…" The words made the slider nervous. He reached for his phone underneath his pillow and wrote a quick text to his dad, telling him to send Casey to the medbay. An unusually loud moan made him place his phone down, eyes snapping back to gauge his brother's situation. Raph was squirming, blanket tossed aside and sweat seeping into his pillow. The snapper let out a sharp gasp. It was when Casey finally stepped through the medbay doors that Raph's entire body froze up.

           Leo could only watch as his brother's eyes widened slightly, mouth parted and drool leaking down the edges. His body grew stiff as a board, save for his arms and legs giving an occasional twitch and jerk. The slider felt his heart drop, panic starting to surge in his veins. Raphael was having another seizure. His brother was having a seizure and he didn't know what to do. His mind was drawing a blank and his hands were starting to tremble.

          "Master Leonardo, please calm down!" Leo snapped his head towards the familiar voice, locking eyes with Casey Jr. The boy had a stern look on his face, hands moving to turn the snapping turtle on his side. With a calm yet stern tone that sounded way too normal for the teen, he motioned towards the slider.

           "Start a timer, please. We need to take note of how long this lasts." Leo gave a shaky nod and grabbed his phone, glancing at the time and starting a countdown in his head. He glanced at the snapper occasionally, watching as his body slowly went from jerking harshly to shivering ever so slightly. Finally, his brother's body relaxed and he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Two minutes. The seizure lasted two minutes. Why had it felt like a lifetime…? Casey made a sound, signaling for the slider to tell him how long it went on for.

           Leo watched as the futuristic teen placed a hand against the snapper's forehead, a grimace appearing on his face. Raph let out a small sigh as he was eased onto his back once more. He was blinking slowly, a pout on his lips and a furrow on his brow. Casey sighed and waved at the slider, gathering his attention once more. The slider let out a small, hushed "sorry" and let him in on how long the issue had been.

          "He's got a fever. Probably due to the infection. I'm not sure how bad his situation is but I believe it's going to clear up in about two weeks or a month." God, Leo hoped it did. Prayed it would. Watching his brother go through that just now was terrifying . Especially since the slider could do nothing about it, his own body out of commission as well. The snapping turtle began to hum loudly, moving his mouth around and furrowing his eyebrows in what seemed to be frustration. Leo was a bit confused at his behavior, looking over to Casey for possible answers. The black haired teen placed a hand on Raph's arm and spoke softly.

         "It's alright, Raphael. You don't need to speak right now. I'll be back with some food and water for you guys, yeah?" Casey turned to face the slider. "Master Leonardo, can you please talk to him for a bit? Keep him awake until I come back?" Leo nodded and watched as the boy walked out of the room, medbay doors closing behind him with a hiss. When he turned his attention back on his brother, he was slightly surprised to find the snapping turtle already staring back at him.

           The elder of the two flung a hand off the bed, fumbling until it landed on the slider's own. Leo watched as his brother's fingers reached for his hand in a trembling motion, a smile forming on his lips at the thought that his brother was lucid enough to try and hold his hand. He grabbed it and was rewarded with what sounded like a pleased hum. It made the slider shake his head, a small laugh escaping him.

            "Always the caretaker, huh Raphie", the slider chuckled. His smile lingered on his lips for a bit before it dropped. "You never stop trying to comfort others. Even…Even when your situation is super bad…" He felt a weak pressure against his hand, most likely all the squeezing that the snapper could manage. His brother was still trying to comfort him, even now. And, honestly, it sort of angered him. Why couldn't his brother focus on himself just this once ? Leo was fine! He didn't need any comforting! He'd heal and be his old self again in no time. But Raph… He wasn't sure whether this would leave a permanent mark on the snapper.

           "You're gonna…get a chasm…" Leo snapped his attention back to Raph, his brother giving him a weak smile. His voice was laced with exhaustion yet, it still held so much care . Care that shouldn't be there right now. There should have been something else in his voice. Anger or resentment... Something. Anything other than the concern that was present. 'Chasm' be damned. Leo glared at his brother harshly, the elder turtle dropping his smile and widening his eyes in surprise. The slider huffed, his frustration at the snapper growing with every second that ticked by. Raph squirmed a bit, confusion in his eyes and teeth worrying at his lip in nervousness.

              "U-Um", the snapping turtle sputtered, "Something wrong, Leo…? You…You in pain or…?" That had done it. Leonardo let out an annoyed groan, all but snatching his hand out of his brother's loose grip. Ignoring the slightly hurt look the elder gave him, the slider pointed an accusing finger at him.

             "Why?! Why are you like this", he shouted. "Why do you worry about everyone else but yourself?! Look at you! You're clearly not just sick , Raphael! Get it through your thick skull already!" Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes, his face hot and body shaking. By now, the snapping turtle was sitting up, arms reaching out to touch the slider. His eyes still held that caring and concerned look in them and it made Leo absolutely livid. He slapped his brother's hands away from him and snarled.

           "Stop it! Stop looking at me like that! Stop looking at me like you care! I should be the least of your worries! You should be angry! You should hate me! I'm the reason you're like this! I'm the reason that you probably won't ever be normal again! Why don't you hate me?! Scream at me?! Why…?!" A sob left him, Leo clenching his eyes shut and turning his head away. Suddenly, he felt the familiar arms of his brother wrapped around him and he gasped. Leo tried to maneuver his way out of them, body aching as he did so. But he didn't care. Raph needed to rest more than him. Not trying to console him after that outburst.

            With as much strength as he could muster, the slider pushed the snapper away from him using both broken and unbroken arms. He watched as the bigger turtle stumbled before falling back onto his own bed. Tears were streaming down Raph's cheeks, his eyes conveying that stupid stupid look again. Leo hated it. 

          "Leo, please don't cry", he whimpered and the slider loathed it. "I don't blame you nor hate you. I could never-"

          "Well, I hate you!" The harsh words rang throughout the room. It made the slider's heart thud loudly in his ears. He hadn't meant that. Or maybe, he did. He wasn't sure, but he couldn't stop the words from pouring. "I hate you, Raph. I hate that you're so caring. I hate that you don't seem to put your safety first. I hate that you can't even seem to grasp that your situation is dangerous…And the thing I hate the most about you…You still look at me the same way…Like I haven't practically fucked you over for the rest of your life…Like my mistakes are even remotely redeemable -"

         "Leon!" The slider's jaw shut tight and he moved his head to glare at the orange clad box turtle. He wasn't sure when the younger had walked in but, if his horrified and tearful expression was anything to go off of, he'd say he'd been there a good while. Mikey was holding two water bottles in his trembling hands, Casey beside him with two plates of pizza and expression just as horrified. Leo's chest was heaving as he returned his glare back to Raph. The snapper was gazing at him with wide eyes, tears falling down and fists clenched and trembling in his lap. His lips were quivering as he tried to speak, but the slider cut him off by laying down and turning his back towards him.

          "I'm not hungry", he mumbled as he pulled the blankets over his head. Leo clenched his eyes shut and wiped at the tears on his face. With a shuddering breath, he willed himself to fall asleep before anyone could think to talk to him. He didn't need their pity nor their advice. Didn't care if ignoring them seemed childish and petty. At the moment, he couldn't really find it in himself to care. 

           By the time Leo woke back up, Mikey and Casey had left. The medbay was dark and the only other person with him was Raph. Turning his head, the slider glared at his older brother's sleeping form. He was still pretty upset but sleep had quelled his anger a bit. He breathed out a sigh and stared up at the ceiling, hand coming up to rub at his face. That outburst was so stupid and it came out of practically nowhere. It was ridiculously childish and the slider could only hope that no one brought it up any time soon. He didn't really want to share any more feelings than he had to.

         Leo groaned and turned his head towards the small table beside his gurney. On it was a bottle of water and a sandwich in a baggy. A purple sticky note was placed on top of it, the slider snatching it up and reading the note.

          Mikey informed me that you have yet to eat so, here. I'll be in the lab. Text me if you need anything. Or don't.  I don't care.- Donnie

             A smile wormed its way onto his lips. The softshell liked to act like he didn't care but he always did. Just a little bit. Leo grabbed the water bottle and sat up to drink from it. He hadn't realized just how parched he was until the first drops of water hit his tongue, coaxing a loud sigh out of him. He'd practically downed the whole bottle by the time he stopped to take a breath, stomach starting to rumble with hunger. He placed the bottle back onto the table and moved to pull the sandwich out of the bag. Leo took a bite and found himself glancing back over towards his sleeping brother. Only, his brother wasn't sleeping.

             Raph's body was shaking, jerking and twitching and small uneven gasps left his lips. Leo choked on his food before  spitting it out and swinging his legs over the side of the gurney. Pain was nothing but an afterthought as he stumbled to his feet, practically dragging his broken left leg in his attempt to reach the snapper. The slider felt his heart thud wildly in his chest as he leaned over his brother's body, analyzing what was happening.

           Another seizure. This was insane. It was happening too frequently, right? It shouldn't have happened so soon, right? It wasn't until he heard a choking sound from the elder that he snapped out of his thoughts. His brother was choking, practically foaming at the mouth as drool ran down his cheeks. His eyes were slightly opened and rolled into the back of his head. The sight made Leo's heart drop. Placing his hands on the snapper's sides, he struggled to roll him onto his side like he'd seen Casey doing earlier. With a huff, he managed to do just that. The next step. What was the next step? Right. He had to time this. 

           Leo gave out a shaky breath, his fear being squashed down in order to complete his task. He counted down in his head. One, two, three… Raph's shaking slowed, his limbs starting to relax and fingers twitching ever so slightly. The gasps ceased and his eyes slid shut. By the time the episode had completely ended, Leo had counted six minutes in his head. 'This one was really long…Longer than the other two…' With shaky hands and a nervous gulp, the slider grabbed his brother's arms and rolled him onto his back once more.

              The snapping turtle's breathing was somewhat uneven, face lax and eyelids occasionally moving. Leo felt fear rising in his chest as he gazed down at his brother, waiting and praying that he would open his eyes soon. Unless…. Did he need to wake him up? The slider breathed out slowly and gently began poking the snapping turtle's face.

          "Raph…? Buddy…? Can you wake up for me..", he whispered softly, moving from poking to lightly tapping at the other's plastron. "Raph, hey. I need you to get up, yeah? Please?" There was no response and Leo felt himself grow a bit louder, hands moving to pinch and pull at his cheeks and arms.

         "Okay, this isn't funny, Raph. I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier but I need you to get up. Like, now." By now, he was patting his cheeks and hitting his arms. This was starting to get worrying. Scratch that, it was beyond worrying. Leo could feel himself becoming frightened, his efforts doubling in trying to wake his older brother. This was weird. It was very very weird.

        "Raphael, if you don't get up right now, so help me… Please, please, please ! Wake up right now…!" He could feel the familiar pricking of tears behind his eyes, threatening to spill when even resorting to punching the snapper's arm did absolutely nothing. Heart pounding loudly in his ears and breath picking up rapidly, Leo shook his head and moved his fingers to open up one of his brother's eyes. There was no reaction whatsoever. Not even a flinch as he waved his phone over it. This wasn't happening. This wasn't real life. Couldn't be. Leonardo's body was starting to move on its own, weakened legs struggling to carry him out of the room. Out of the medbay doors and into the halls of the lair. He was crying now, fear gripping its claws into his heart and refusing to let go as he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted as loud as he could.

          "Dad", Leo screamed, tears rushing down his face. "Dad, Donnie, Casey! Somebody! Please!" The slider hobbled down the halls of the lair as quickly as he could, bumping into corners and slamming into doors. 

        "Help! He isn't - Raph is - He's…He's not waking up!" Sobs were wracking his body. After what seemed like an eternity, the slider made it to the living room, his family as well as Casey staring at him in disbelief. The slider fell to the floor with a loud thud and hissed as he landed on his broken arm. That didn't matter though. Raph was more important. His dad was the first to rush to his side, pulling him up into a sitting position and placing a hand against his cheek. Worry gleamed bright within his eyes and his whiskers twitched nervously.

            "Leonardo! My son, why are you here? And why are you crying?" Everyone else rushed to hover around him and honestly, it made him feel even more lightheaded than he already had been. With a heavy breath, he pointed towards the way he came and sobbed loudly.

            "Raph…! It's Raph! H-He won't get up, no matter what I do…!" Suddenly, he was being picked up and carried, air whooshing out of his lungs as the person carrying him sprinted down the halls. He glanced up. It was Draxum. The Baron was holding him in his arms and a grimace was plastered on his face. The rest of the gang wasn't far behind them and as quickly as they'd left, they arrived at the medbay. Draxum placed the slider down onto the gurney and Leo watched with tearful eyes as Donnie flashed a light in Raphael's eyes. His eyebrows scrunched up and he yelled to the Baron.

             "Is there anywhere we could possibly take him to be treated? This is beyond our knowledge and we've no other choice." Draxum shook his head and placed a hand on the snapper's forehead, murmuring about high temperatures before casting his eyes downward in shame.

            "I am not familiar with any medicinal facilities within the Hidden City. Nor do I know of anyone who does." It hit Leo then. The Hidden City. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why hadn't any of them thought of that? There was someone he knew that could help them.

         "I do! I know someone!" He fumbled around the sheets underneath him before pulling out his phone. He hoped and prayed that the bone man would pick up. His phone rang several times and Leo was starting to lose hope by the seventh ring when, an exasperated sigh sounded on the other end. The slider almost cried in sheer relief.

           " Pepino , you had better have a good explanation for waking me up."

Chapter Text

Day 5

             Donatello didn't like to be wrong. He didn't like not knowing anything, either. That was one of the reasons why he was always studying, always learning. Being in the dark made him feel small. Insignificant. A burden . He was the smart one, the reliable one. Especially when it came to science. In his mind, medicinal practices were just another form of it. If that was the case then, why shouldn't he know all about it? Why shouldn't he be the one his brothers turned to regarding such matters? He knew everything. He could do everything.

           Gazing at his big brother's unconscious form - his complexion looking pale under the harsh hospital lights - however, Donatello was starting to second guess that statement. He hadn't done anything. Couldn't do anything. He wasn't able to prevent this and it angered him to no end. This was a topic that he was supposed to know all about but when it came down to it, he was in the dark. He was… useless .

           'I wasn't able to help him' , he thought as he listened to the steady beeping of the heart monitor attached to the snapper. 'Some genius I am…' He grabbed the elder's hand, elbows resting on the hospital bed. There were tubes connected to him, multiple in one arm and a probe on his finger. An aresol mask was on his face, the machine connected to it letting out a small buzzing noise. The snapper's eyebrows were furrowed a bit and Donnie almost believed he would wake up. But, he knew better than that. It had been a day and Raphael was still unconscious, eyelids twitching every now and then. Donnie watched his chest rise and fall with every uneven breath he took. It was his turn to watch his brother, his family all asleep in the waiting room. Who could blame them, though? It had been a long night.

            Donnie watched as Leo talked frantically on the phone, his voice panicked and breathy. The slider had instructed them to all make their way to the mystic pizza place once he got in touch with whoever he thought could help them. Draxum had resumed carrying his brother again, the softshell calling in tech to help carry Raph. 

           "Yes, yes. We'll be right over, Hueso. Thank you, again." The slider ended the call and Donnie arched an eyebrow. How were they all even supposed to make it there? Especially with this many people…

         "Dad", Leo called with a determined look in his eye. "I need you to grab one of my swords. Going by portal is the fastest way there." Donnie's eyes widened at that.

       "Absolutely not, Nardo. Do you even have the strength for that?" He wasn't about to just let his brother hurt himself even more. One brother being down was already heartbreaking enough… The softshell turned to his dad, expecting him to back him up. Splinter just nodded and scampered off, leaving a very annoyed Donnie. Leo turned to face his twin, eyes hinting that his mind was made up.

      "Dee, we don't have time to argue about this. Raph needs help and fast. I'm making that portal." He knew he was right. That didn't make him feel any better about it, though. The softshell let out a huff and folded his arms. Splinter returned not a second after, handing the sword to his son. Leo took it and let out a deep breath, closing his eyes as blue energy crackled around him. With a swipe in the air, the portal came to life, swirling and flickering. It was weak but would do for one trip.

         Leo let out a heavy breath and leaned his head back on Draxum's shoulder, his grip on the weapon loosening just a bit. 

        "Let's go", he muttered softly. Donnie was the first to go through, the tech carrying Raph right behind him. Then Draxum and then the others. When they reached the other side, the owner of the pizza place, Hueso, was standing there to greet them. It seemed the boneman had just woken up, his attire consisting of a zipped up jacket and a pair of joggers. The scowl on the yokai's face practically melted away as he laid eyes on Leo, eyes widening in utter shock. Donnie mused that his brother had forgotten to mention his predicament. 

         "P-Pepino, what happened to you…?" Before the slider could say anything, a voice cut him off. It was Mikey who spoke up, tears in his eyes and voice trembling with fear.

         "Please, Hueso! Please take us to a hospital! Please help my brother…!" The yokai took one look at the unconscious snapper and turned towards the end of the alley, bony hand beckoning them to follow. Donnie watched as he took something out of his pocket before sticking it on the wall. The bricks moved aside and a door to the Hidden City was revealed. The group walked through the door and about the city, Hueso leading them while occasionally looking back at Leo and shaking his head. After about five minutes of walking, they arrived at the yokai hospital. Splinter rushed inside, pulling on the softshell's tech. 

           The rest of them followed suit. His mind was blank as he watched everything unfold in front of him. Nurses had taken Raphael as soon as they'd seen him, telling him and his family to stay behind. They all sat in the waiting room, Hueso muttering under his breath in Spanish. Donnie could understand a little, Leo being one to use the language often. It was something along the lines of 'this kid' and 'a heart attack'. The genius didn't really care to listen too much, his mind starting to cloud with thoughts.

         Five hours had passed before a doctor had finally approached them. Everyone stood when she came, a solemn expression on her face and clipboard pressed against her chest. Donnie didn't like that look. She took a breath before gazing at each of them, her voice soft as she spoke.

         "First, I'd like to apologize for the wait. The patient had a few brain abscesses and we were forced to do immediate surgery. Regarding his state prior to and after the surgery…" The doctor took a deep breath and the softshell didn't like it one bit. "I'm afraid to inform you that the patient has gone into a comatose state. His GCS score is reported as being a…six…"

       Donnie could feel his heart thudding loudly in his ears, fists clenched and eyes moving about frantically. He knew what that meant. Raphael - his big brother, his big, strong, overprotective brother - was in a coma. And his chances of waking up? Slim. Hell, if that wasn't enough, the fact that he had abscesses in his brain meant that he could've died. Died . If they'd gotten to the hospital any later than they had…!     

        The softshell was sure his family could grasp the situation from his body language and the doctor's tone alone. Raph had gone into a coma before they'd gotten here and had even gone under surgery . His situation wasn't mild in the slightest and Donnie felt like an absolute fool for thinking otherwise. The doctor cleared her throat before continuing to speak.

        "I'm sure you'd like to see him. Before you do, however, I must inform you that it might be days or weeks before he regains consciousness again. I'll show you to his room." With that, the yokai doctor turned on her heel and walked away, the group slowly shuffling behind her.

         At least the hospital staff held enough pity to allow them to stay. Donnie sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the hand not holding onto the snapper's. The exhaustion was settling in, seeping into his bones and making his body feel weak and heavy. But, how could he go to sleep? In his mind, he knew it was unlogical. Not sleeping and refusing to part from his brother's side. His body had other ideas though. And, almost like the universe was working with it, Mikey came into the room. The box turtle gave him a small smile before walking up and placing a hand on his shell.

        "Dee", he began softly, "It's my turn to watch Raphie, yeah? Go get some rest." His voice sounded rough and thick. Like he'd been crying all night. Donatello groaned in annoyance and wiped at his face. His little brother was right and he hated it. The softshell did need rest. He hadn't even had a proper nap since the first seizure incident in the bathroom. He didn't want to leave, though. However, knowing Mikey, the younger was going to lecture and nag him until he did. Mikey was very stubborn when he wanted to be.

         With a sigh, Donnie stood up from his chair, hand slowly letting go of Raph's as he moved towards the room door. The box turtle gave him one last smile, the softshell returning it before heading out of the room and closing the door ever so gently. He shuffled off into the direction of the waiting room, eyes on the floor and watching every step he took. He let out a breath once he arrived, looking over his family spread out among the chairs. April was curled in a ball with Casey beside her, the boy's head dangling and arms folded. Splinter was sprawled across a chair, his head in Draxum's lap and the yokai snoring lightly. But, for some reason, he couldn't find Leo nor Hueso. The softshell let out a sigh.

          For the first time in a long time, Donnie's mind was blank. Well, as blank as it could be. Whether it be from exhaustion or his mind's attempt at protecting him, he wasn't sure. He rubbed at his arm and walked outside the hospital. Only to be met with the sight of his brother and the boneman sitting on the curb. They appeared to be talking and Donnie wasn't sure if he should interrupt or not. He was about to turn back around when he heard a sniffle coming from Leo. It made him stop in his tracks and stare at the pair with wide eyes. His brother was crying… Looking around, he spotted a row of bushes and moved to hide in them. The branches were scratching at his arms but he ignored it, focusing his attention on the conversation at hand.

            "It's my fault, Hueso", Leo cried, uninjured hand coming up to wipe away tears that never seemed to stop. "It's all my fault. What if he doesn't w-wake up…? I was so stupid a-and arrogant…! The last thing I did before he became like this was yell at him… I told him that I hated him, Hueso… What if I never get the chance to - to apologize…? I screwed up badly and I might never get to make up for it-" The yokai stopped the slider's rant by placing a hand on his head, his mouth curving into a solemn smile. The boneman's voice was soft as he spoke, his expression one of fondness.

             "It's going to be alright, pepino . From what you've told me of your brother, he sounds like a strong one." Donnie watched as Hueso pulled the slider into an embrace, patting his back as his sobs continued. "Sure, you made mistakes. Sure, you were a bit stupid. But, there's nothing to atone for. You've done plenty. You've apologized plenty. Your brother will forgive you. That's what brothers are for, si …? I think you're the one that taught me that, pepino …" Hueso pulled back and placed a hand on his shoulder.

           "Chin up, pepino . Your brother is going to make it through this. You are going to make it through this. Believe in yourself and in your family." Leo hugged the yokai once more, a smile on his face and tears running down his face. 

           "Thanks, Hueso…" Donnie frowned as he stepped out of the bushes, silently trudging his way back into the hospital. He hadn't realized how much his brother had been blaming himself over this. Had those thoughts been keeping him up at night? If Leo was anything like him, he was sure they had. Donnie had made his way back to his family and was greeted with a wide awake April, the girl idly messing with the rip in her jeans. She glanced up and spotted him, a small smile gracing her lips before she stood and walked up to him. Her voice was soft as she spoke, eyes looking weary and concerned.

            "Hey, Dee. How ya holdin' up?" And, maybe it was the fact that his body and mind were so tired. Or, maybe it had been the fact that he hadn't talked to anyone since Raph's whole situation started. Whatever it was, it made the dam break. His chest started to hurt and his throat clogged up. Donnie lifted a hand up to feel his face, pulling them back to gaze at the wetness on them. Oh… He was crying… Donnie was crying. The softshell wiped at his face, hoping the tears would stop. They didn't, continuing to drip from his eyes like a waterfall. A hand grasped his own and he lifted his head. He didn't even know he was looking down at the floor… April was looking at him, a frown on her lips and eyebrows scrunched in confusion. The softshell was then dragged down the hall and into a bathroom, the girl pulling him down until they were both sat on the floor.

         "Dee", she said softly, lifting a hand to wipe at his tears. "What's the matter, big guy…?" Donnie shook his head, a hiccup escaping him. He was sobbing now, soft cries leaving his lips and he placed a hand on his mouth to try and muffle the sounds. It didn't work and he moved to wrap his arms around himself. April placed a hand on his back as he tried to speak. His words came out in gasping sobs.

       "I could have prevented this. If- If I was smarter, I could've helped him. I should have known. I should've been better . If that dumb-dumb wasn't so set on me, I could've…! Stupid, stupid, stupid …Stupid, Donatello, idiot Donatello, dumb -" 

         "That's enough, Donnie", April butted in, placing her hands on the softshell's face and giving him a small slap. She forced him to look her in the eyes, her own filling with tears and threatening to fall. Donnie was hiccuping, tears blurring his vision and nails digging into his skin. His eyes moved around frantically, trying to avoid her gaze. He didn't mean for her to see him like this. 'Just another one of your many screw-ups, Donatello. When are you gonna stop being such a burden-'

         "Donnie!" The softshell flinched at April's tone, eyes finally meeting with hers. She was crying as well, her brows furrowed in a glare. "Stop talking like that! I don't ever wanna hear you talking like that!" Had he voiced his thoughts out loud? April's thumbs moved to wipe at his eyes and she took a deep breath before speaking again, tone losing the slight aggravation it had before.

           "You're not stupid, Dee. You're not a burden, either. No one could have thought Raph's condition was this serious. You are so, so smart, Donnie. But, sometimes, things happen and we aren't prepared for it." 

            "But I could've -"

           "You could've what, Dee? Performed surgery? Because that's what he needed, regardless of what you could have done. You're not a burden just because of one thing…! It's okay if you don't know everything . Your family is there to pick up what you feel like you can't. We're here, Donnie. Don't place such a heavy burden on your shoulders, okay? I promise you, absolutely none of us think of you any less if you don't know something." 

           April smiled at him warmly, grabbing his hands and squeezing them in assurance. Donnie would never tell her, but his heart grew a bit warmer at the gesture.

         "Like I've said before, you aren't important to us because of what you know. You're important to us because of you . I'm positive that Raph feels the same way. He'd probably hug you to death and never let you go if he heard you talking like this…" He couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him, lips forming a smile as he thought of his brother. It was true. Raph would certainly do something like that.

         Donnie wrapped his arms around April and sighed, tears slowly stopping as the two embraced.

         "Thank you, April…really…"

She chuckled and squeezed him a little harder before pulling back and lightly punching his arm.

          "Of course, Dee. That's what family's for, yeah?" The thoughts and fears that Donatello had been feeling this whole time were finally easing up. He knew they were because he could finally feel the energy they had given him slowly leave his body. He smiled and the two walked out of the bathroom, hand-in-hand as they made their way back to their family. And, for the first time in perhaps a long time, Donnie didn't feel so small.

Chapter Text

Day ???

           Raphael was floating. He was…He was somewhere. Where was he? The space around him was dark and vast. Oh. He must be dreaming. That was the only logical answer. It was strange, though. This was such a long dream and he never had a dream this vivid before. Raph tried to wake up, tried to move his body in reality. But for some strange reason, he couldn't. 'I guess I can sleep more…' He thought to himself. The snapper continued to float within the vast space, content and worried at the same time.

        When was he going to wake up? It didn't make any sense. Raph knew he never slept for a long period of time. Why couldn't he move? The snapping turtle sighed and gazed around the empty space he inhabited. A weight settled in his chest then. He was tired. Even in his dreams, he couldn't escape from being tired. Was it stress? Was it his worries? Whatever it was, it made him exhausted. Raph let out a sigh and rubbed at his chest. 

          This was one of the weirdest dreams he's had in a while. 'Or maybe I'm dead…' The thought shouldn't have made him laugh but it did. It would explain why he couldn't wake up and why he was alone. However, he hadn't expected for death to be so…barren. Lonely. The snapper rubbed at his eyes, the familiar feeling of fatigue creeping up behind them. 'Guess there's no escaping exhaustion even in death, huh…?' A bitter smile graced his lips and he shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking like that but, he couldn't help it.

             'Am I going to stay here forever…?' Raph sighed as thoughts kept plaguing his mind. He stared out into the vast space. It was so barren, so quiet. Was this all that death was? A tiring, black void that swallowed the life out of everything? If this was what it was like, Raph would have preferred being alive and exhausted instead.

           Suddenly, there was a bright light ahead of him. It was a pale green shimmer and it had Raph pushing himself towards it. For some strange reason, it felt familiar to him. It was comforting. Plus, anything was better than staying where he was. The light grew brighter and brighter the closer he got. It felt like an eternity passed before he finally managed to get close enough. The sight before him shocked him, his heart thudding loudly within his ears. The light turned out to be none other than his -

          "...Gram Gram…?" 

          "Hello, my dear young Hamato."

         It was her. It was his Gram Gram. Karai was standing right in front of him with a soft smile on her face. Her eyes radiated a warmth that struck a cord inside of him. Tears pricked behind the snapper's eyes, threatening to fall. She opened her arms wide, inviting him into an embrace. And, honestly, who was he to say no? With no further hesitation, Raph rushed into her arms. He held onto her tightly, tears finally falling and cascading down his cheeks. Karai let out a sigh and held on to him for a little while longer before pulling back a bit and gazing up at him.

           "My poor Raphael", she spoke softly, her expression one of fondness and pride. "You've done so well, my child. So very well."

         "I'm so tired, Gram Gram", he cried and brought up a hand to wipe at his tears. "I'm so tired…I don't want to be tired anymore…"

         "I know, sweet child. You have every right to be. The Hamato clan have watched you struggle and fight. You protected your family, saved the world, and have made the clan so very proud. You've done so well and I know you want to rest but… It is not yet your time…" Raph sniffled and squinted his eyes in confusion.

         "Wait…I'm not already dead…?" Karai shook her head and pointed toward the vast open space. Raph followed her hand and watched as the scene before him changed. It danced and swirled, a shimmering circle beginning to form. The scene was hazy and flickering and yet, he could clearly make out the distinct red stripes. It was Leo. The slider had tears in his eyes and he was speaking. The snapper couldn't hear much but he was able to make out a little.

         "I miss you, Raphie…" Miss him…? Was Karari sure he wasn't dead…? Raph glanced back at his grandma, confusion swirling in his eyes. The woman only gave him a smile and placed a hand against his cheek.

          "One day, young Hamato, you will join us. However, the time is not yet right. Go on. Be with your brothers. Be with your family. And remember, young one. Anata wa hitori Ja nai." With that, she placed a hand against his chest and pushed. Raph felt the air leave his lungs as he was flung back, yelling as he felt himself falling. He continued to fall down, down, down, until suddenly…

           "Hey, big Raphie. It's me, Leon. Just coming in to check on you." The slider placed the stuffed teddy bear he'd bought for the snapper with the rest of the presents. The small table was overflowing with flowers, balloons, and plushies. Every single one wished the snapping turtle a speedy recovery. Leo sighed and went to sit in the chair beside the bed, moving to gently place a hand on his brother's. 

          "It's been almost a month since you fell asleep. My leg and arm healed up a bit. I still have to work them out but they should be fine in another week or so. But, my ribs are still a little messed up. Mikey's hands have gotten better thanks to Donnie. He made a stabilizer for him…" Leo continued to tell the sleeping snapper of recent events, the sound of the heart monitor beeping every now and then. The slider laid his head on the bed after he finished, eyes taking in his brother's form. 

          Leo watched as his brother's chest rose and fell. No matter how many times he'd seen him, it always looked like Raph had gotten a bit smaller. A bit paler. His big brother looked so frail and, despite the numerous reassurances from his family and the hospital staff, Leo couldn't help but be a bit worried. How could he not, what with Raph looking as though a gust of wind would be enough to blow him away? 

         From what the doctor had said, Raph should be waking up any day now. The snapper was responding to sounds and lights, even going as far as listening to commands. According to Donnie, that was a good thing. And sure, it eased the slider's concern a little, but he couldn't help but worry. Would this affect his daily life when he woke up? Would he be able to normally function again? Leo wasn't so sure.

           The slider's vision started to blur, eyes stinging with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He gave a shaky breath and clutched Raph's hand a little tighter.

           "I promise you that I'm gonna do better, big brother. When you wake up, we're gonna have a field day training again. I know you'll want to. And, I'll even buy the pizza afterwards…! If you want, we can go get you a new plush from Teddy Bear Town… As many as you want, big guy…" Leo sniffled and sighed. His voice was quiet as he spoke.

           "I miss you, Raphie…So, hurry and wake up so I can stop worrying, ya big dummy…"

            A knock on the door made him stop talking, quickly wiping away his tears and raising his head.

           "Nardo? Are you in here? It's Donnie. I'm coming in." The softshell opened the door shortly after announcing himself. Leo gave him a small smile once he stepped inside, his brother moving to drape himself over his shoulders. Donnie raised a hand and poked the slider's forehead, a frown on his face.

         "Nardo, you were just here last night. Did you even get any sleep?" Leo gave a nervous chuckle at that and shrugged. Donnie groaned and furrowed his eyebrows.

           "Sorry, Dee", he muttered. "I just…I can't seem to stay away. Especially if he's supposed to wake up soon. I…I wanna be the first one to be here…" 'I want to apologize as soon as possible…' He wasn't gonna tell his brother the rest of that thought. He knew he'd get an earful if he did. But, Leo figured Donnie knew this already. The softshell hummed in understanding. They both grew quiet then, the newfound silence peaceful. It stayed that way for a good while, both brothers just watching the older turtle shift every now and then. A knock at the door made them both turn.

           "Mr. Hamato, it's nurse Lee. I'm here to check on your brother's vitals." The yokai nurse walked inside once Leo gave the okay. The slider watched him check each machine. The nurse took out a mini flashlight from his pocket and flashed it in the snapper's eyes. With a satisfied huff, he flicked it off and scribbled on his clipboard. He turned towards Leo and Donnie, a small smile on his face.

            "His vitals look great. I'm sure he'll be up and about real soon. I'm just gonna check a few more things and then I'll leave you guys be, okay?" The slider smiled and nodded, watching as the nurse went back to place a hand on Raph's forehead. However, before he even got the chance to, a large hand gripped his arm. Many things happened at once.

            Raphael gasped loudly, eyes snapping open and chest heaving. He glanced around the room, eyes meeting his brothers' shocked ones before whirling back on the yokai. With a growl, the snapper glared up at the nurse and twisted his arm. Leo blinked and suddenly, the nurse was on the ground, Raph on top of the yokai and holding his arm behind his back. His arm was bleeding - the snapper had ripped out the needles that connected him to the machines - as he pinned the nurse to the floor. 

            Leo stood there, eyes wide and jaw open in disbelief. His brother was awake… He was really awake… The slider couldn't move, wouldn't have been able to if the yokai's whimper didn't snap him out of whatever stupor he'd been in. Leo shook his head and motioned for Donnie to help him, the softshell also shaking his head. They quickly moved to grab at their elder brother's arms, prying Raph away from the poor nurse. 

            "Raph", he grunted as he tried to pull the snapping turtle back towards the bed. "Hey, buddy, you need to stop! Everything's okay! You're safe!" Raph snarled and tried to rush at the nurse once more, the yokai flinching and scrambling towards the door. Donatello huffed and pushed the nurse out before closing and locking the door. He snapped his gaze back over to his brother, the snapper breathing heavily and sweat beading at his forehead.

          "Raph, it's us…", Donnie huffed, working with Leo to push Raph back onto the bed. "Your brothers. You're in a hospital, okay…? You're safe. Relax…" Raph's eyes darted back and forth between the two before he groaned and placed a hand on his head, body losing whatever strength he'd managed to scrounge up. Leo and Donnie settled him back onto the bed and sat next to him. Raph held his head and looked over at the slider, confusion swirling in his eyes.

        "Leo…", he questioned and the two younger turtles winced at how hoarse his voice sounded. "What…What's going on..? Where am I…?" He was slurring his words a bit, not quite saying each letter and speaking kind of slow. The slider glanced over at his twin, motioning for the other to call for the doctor. He watched Donnie slip out the door before he turned his attention back on the snapper. Placing a hand on his big brother's shoulder, Leo smiled and spoke softly.

           "You're in the hospital, Raph. You…You were in a coma…" The snapper frowned and brought a hand up to rub at his plastron. His teeth worried at his lip as he glanced down at his hospital gown.

          "How long was…How…How long…?" The slider grimaced.

         "Almost a month…" Raph sucked in a breath and let it out in a long sigh. His shoulders drooped and Leo watched the emotions flit across his brother's face. There was a flicker of something akin to sadness in his eyes before he blinked it away. The snapper pursed his lips and opened his mouth to speak before closing it once more. He stuck out his tongue, lapping at the roof of his mouth before he sighed and grunted. His face portrayed growing frustration and Leo got the feeling that his brother couldn't quite say what he wanted to at that moment.

           The slider grabbed his brother's hand in his own, making the elder of the two finally look him in the eyes.

           "It's alright", he spoke softly and wrapped his arms around Raph in a tight embrace. "You don't have to say anything…I…I'm so happy you're awake, Raph… You have no idea how much I've missed you…" His voice was cracking a bit as he spoke, a sniffle escaping him and oh… He was crying. He shouldn't be crying right now, especially when his big brother still needed updates on what was happening. His brother still needed his help, so he needed to pull himself together. But, the slider couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that moment. They kept pouring and pouring and, oh, now he was sobbing. They rattled in his chest and wracked his whole body. Pitiful cries of "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Raph" left his lips as he clung onto the snapper. Loud, blubbering wails that bounced off the walls and made his heart race.

           "This was all my fault… I didn't mean what I s-said. I-I could never ever hate you. I'm sorry. So so sorry-"

           "No…No more…Leo…" Arms wrapped around his shaking frame, holding him tight. Leo looked up through tear filled eyes to meet Raph's own. The snapper also had tears that threatened to fall, lips quivering and brows furrowed. His tone was firm and yet gentle all the same.

          "Not your…not your fault. Nothin' to 'pologize…for… Okay…?" Leo sniffled and let out a small chuckle. Of course he would be trying to comfort him. Hueso was right. Raph wasn't the type to hold animosity towards family in the first place. That was just who the snapper was. Leo knew that. He'd always known that. Leo sighed and backed away from the hug just a bit, reaching a hand up to brush away the tears staining his cheeks.

          "Okay…Thanks, big guy…" Raph gave a small smile and patted his head, before turning his head towards the sound of the door opening. Donnie had returned with a doctor and the yokai nurse from earlier. With a nervous glance at the snapper, the nurse shuffled behind the doctor and handed her a clipboard. She sighed and cleared her throat, Flipping through the documents and looking between the three brothers.

          "Disregarding what happened...earlier", she said while fixing her glasses on her nose, " It's good to see you awake, Mr. Hamato. I'm sure your brothers explained what happened, yes? I'll just run a few more tests and then we can see about getting you home." Leo watched his brother scratch the back of his head and dart his eyes about in slight confusion before he opened his mouth to speak.

          "T-Tests…?"

          "They're gonna see if you might need additional help or not, Raph. That's all." It was Donnie who had spoken, a hand coming up to rest on one of the snapper's shoulders. He gave him a small smile before sharing a look with Leo. The slider nodded and hopped off of the bed. 

         We're gonna step outside, okay Raph", said Leo as he and his twin walked towards the door. "Just until the doctor is done checking you out, yeah?" The elder turtle moved to open his mouth, seeming as though he wanted to protest before closing it again. He sighed and nodded towards his brothers. Leo gave his big brother one last smile before following Donnie out of the room.

          The slider let out a sigh once the door closed behind them, his heart thudding loudly in his ears. He placed a hand on his arm, fingers pulling at the skin to make sure he wasn't dreaming. His brother was awake. He was okay and he was going to come back home soon. The thought alone was enough to make Leo almost laugh with joy. He had to tell the rest of his family. They'd want to see the snapping turtle as soon as possible.

          Leo fished out his phone and started to text his dad and Mikey the news when he heard a dull thud. Looking up from his phone, he spotted Donnie slumped on the floor against the wall. His eyes were wide and his lips quivered ever so slightly. A chuckle escaped him and if the slider hadn't been focusing on his brother so intently, he wouldn't have even heard it. He placed his phone back into his pocket and crouched down in front of the softshell, brows furrowed a bit in confusion.

           "Hey, Dee… What's the matter…?" Donnie swallowed and gazed up at his twin, a weak smile gracing his lips. It was then that Leo could see his eyes shining bright with unshed tears. The softshell's voice was shaky and breathy as he spoke, an astonished chuckle escaping between his words.

           "H-He's okay, Nardo… He's really okay…" Donnie gave another shaky laugh before it quickly dissolved into hiccuping sobs. The softshell wiped at his eyes as his tears continued to flow freely and Leo huffed, shaking his head and smiling at his twin softly. He placed a hand on his brother's knee and sat down beside him, not moving until his brother moved. The slider closed his eyes and listened as the softshell let out all of his relief and frustration. Donnie's cries slowly died down to quiet sniffles and he let out a groan, moving to scrub at his eyes. A pout formed on his lips and he glanced at his twin, eyes darting about in embarrassment.

          "I've been getting…emotional…around you guys way too much lately and, honestly, it's ruining my image", he sighed and moved to stand up, brushing imaginary dirt off of himself to appear nonchalant. Leo snorted and shook his head. He stood and wrapped an arm around his twin's shoulders with a wide grin on his face.

         "Yeah yeah. Your little 'emotionally unavailable bad boy' image, right? Let's go tell the others about Raph now, yeah?"

         Donnie grumbled a bit before shaking his head.

            "Raph…Raph has…what…?"

            "You have Verbal Dyspraxia, Mr. Hamato. It's a rare condition but, it basically makes it difficult for you to speak" 

           Raphael frowned at the doctor, watching as the yokai scribbled something down on her clipboard. His vision was blurry and he brought a hand up to rub at his eyes. He let out a frustrated huff when it didn't fix the problem and rubbed at his eyes even more. The doctor began to speak once more after seeing him do so, a grim expression on her face. 

        "Also, regarding your right eye… I'm sorry to say this, but you may never see normally in that eye again. I'm sure you can see shadows and light, yes? The infection was worse than we thought and it took most of the vision in that eye." 

          He didn't know how to feel at the moment. First his speech and now his eye? This was beginning to be too much for the snapping turtle. Fiddling with his fingers, his thoughts drifted back to when his brother had been in the room. He'd said he'd been in a coma… A coma… Why had he thought he was just sick before? And, it wasn't just a few days. It was a whole month. He'd missed so much…

        Raph huffed and wrapped his arms around himself. Something like this was never supposed to happen to him. He wasn't supposed to fall ill like this. He was Raphael. He was the biggest and the strongest of his brothers. He was the shield, the protector. And yet…He'd fallen. He was weak. Useless. 'You failed them. You don't deserve them.' The thoughts swirling in the snapper's mind grew louder, a ringing noise filling his ears as he clenched his eyes shut. And suddenly, Raph felt…small. Tiny. A feeling he hadn't felt in so long and it made his mood sour even more. There was absolutely no way he'd be able to talk to his family about this. It would only make Raph even more of a burden than he already was -

       "Raphael…!" Snapping his eyes open, Raph glanced up and was met with weary eyes gazing into his own. Splinter was looking up at him, hands holding his head gently within them. Thumbs wiped away at tears he hadn't realized were falling and his dad let out a relieved sigh.

      "My son, are you alright", he questioned and Raph slowly nodded. When had his father come into the room? Taking his father's hands within his own, he pulled them away from his face and gave him a small smile. He had to make it seem like he wasn't just having self deprecating thoughts. Splinter frowned and squinted his eyes at the snapper in disbelief. A cough across the room made him place his attention elsewhere. It was the yokai doctor. She gave the two a hard look before motioning at them to follow her. Nodding his head, Splinter watched her leave out the door before turning back towards Raph. With a tight smile, he handed his son a bag full of clothes.

         "Here. Change into these before meeting us in the waiting room." Raph took the bag and was about to thank him when his father placed a hand against his cheek. His eyes were soft and his features warm.

         "How I've missed you, Raphael…I'm so glad that you're alright, my son…" Splinter placed a light kiss on his forehead and removed his hand, giving him a soft smile and walking out of the room. Raph let out a breath, warmth blossoming in his chest. He got up and slipped on the hoodie and joggers that he was given, letting out a dissatisfied groan when he realized they were a bit big on him. That was a first, honestly. Slowly, Raph shuffled out of the hospital room and into the hall. He hadn't expected to be pulled into a hug, however.

           "Raphie…! I missed you so, so much…!" It was Mikey. The box turtle was crying and gazing up at the snapping turtle with relief. Raph could feel the younger's tears drip onto his plastron, his arms tightening their hold on him. His heart breaking at the sight before him, he wrapped an arm around his younger brother and placed a hand on his head. Mikey let out a sob and buried his face against Raph's chest.

           "I visited everyday, hoping you'd wake up. I was so s-scared, Raph. I-I didn't know what to do. I…I'm so glad you're okay, Raphie…" The younger continued to sob against his chest and Raph couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes. He clutched his brother closer and let out a shuddering breath.

           "R-Raph's…Raph's… s-sorry…sorry," he mumbled, tears making his voice sound stuffy. The elder was crying heavily now, apologies leaving his throat unabashed. He tried to stop, tried to reign in the guilt that threatened to overtake him. But the tears wouldn't stop. The words continued to pour brokenly from his lips and with every word spoken, his grip on Mikey tightened ever so slightly. 

           "D-Didn't mean… Not mean t-to, Mikey… Sorry for… S-So sorry…"

             "Raph…Raph, what…? Why are you apologizing…?" Hands were placed on either side of his face. It only made him cry even harder. "Raphie…Look at me. Please…?" Raph slowly did as he was told, the tears and his right eye blurring his vision even more. Mikey was staring up at him, brow furrowed and gaze holding nothing but concern and care. His voice was gentle as he spoke, eyes widening as though he'd figured something out. 

           "Oh…Oh, Raphie…You shouldn't feel bad for being sick. And, please don't think we're mad at you for this. Raph, we're your family. Family. You always take care of us, big guy. It's okay to be taken care of too. You know that, right? You shouldn't have to put up with feeling bad. Let us take care of you. Okay, Raphie…?"

        Of course. Mikey had always been emotionally intelligent. Raph knew that. He just hadn't expected the younger to actually read him like that. The box turtle wiped at his tears and stared into his eyes a little longer. Raph was starting to feel himself become embarrassed, the younger catching on and letting out a chuckle. Mikey pulled away from the embrace and grabbed the snapper's hand. He grinned and pulled him along towards the waiting room.

            "Let's meet up with the others...Okay?" The elder of the two nodded and they made their way to the others. Once they got there, Raph was met with several arms wrapped around him and he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face. Donnie grumbled and glanced up at the snapper with concern.

           "Raph, I heard what the doctor said. If you want, I can teach you some sign language to use while you're taking speech therapy. Also, let me know if your eye bothers you too much. I can make you a -"

         "Raph! Little brother, I was so worried!" April had pushed the softshell out of the way in order to get close. Donnie huffed and frowned but went unnoticed by her, the girl too worried about the snapper's well-being. "Anything you need, just let me know, yeah? April's gotcha!"

         "It's good to see you up and about again, Raphael", Casey piped up. Draxum was also present, glancing at Raph and fiddling with his apron. The yokai looked as if he'd just come from the school lunchroom. He cleared his throat and spoke, embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

          "I'm…relieved to see you're okay… I may not always be available right away, but I'll help anyway I can if you so need…"

         Raph thought he'd had enough crying for one day but, seeing all of his family together and willing to do anything to help him recover… It was enough to make him shed tears all over again. And, he suddenly recalled something he'd heard in his sleep once more.

                   Anata wa hitori ja nai…

          He wasn't alone. He had never been alone. What a fool he was to think he didn't deserve this. Deserve them. His family crowded around him in concern, all questioning why he started crying. Raphael just laughed, a rough yet joyful sound that only served in confusing everyone even more. A few more chuckles escaped him and he let out a breath.

          "Raph's…kinda hungry…"