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It was Amy’s birthday, which was why she was beyond excited. Birthday meant coitus – at least in their romantic relationship where they only enjoyed coitus once a year. Her friends probably shook their heads or rolled their eyes – they most likely did both – but Amy didn’t really care. At least, that was what she told herself whenever Penny asked her if she was really sure about Sheldon. Of course, Amy was sure about Sheldon. He was perfect. She felt deep down that she and Sheldon were meant to be.
Amy smiled, as she remembered the day when she first met him in that coffee shop. While she wasn’t really keen on her mother meddling in her life, for once Amy was thankful that she had set some rules. One of them being that she had to date a man once a year. It was a stupid rule, really, but without it Amy would have never met Sheldon. Without her mum and without the advancement of technology, which allowed for dating apps and websites, it wouldn’t have been possible. Amy had always thought of dating as sort of a project that she conducted just to tick it off at the end of the day. She’d arrange a date with a guy, meet up with him and take a photo as proof for her mother. However, Sheldon had taught her that there was no project like love – and it could never be finished. Quite frankly, Amy didn’t want her love project with Sheldon ever to end.
Amy opened the door to the flat she shared with her boyfriend and was stunned to see the living room only dimly lit by candles. Sheldon sat at the set dining table, his blue eyes shining as he spotted her.
“Sheldon?” She asked, wondering. “What’s all this?”
“It’s your birthday, Amy. Happy birthday, by the way. I wanted to surprise you,” Sheldon replied and arose to walk over to her so that he was standing right in front of her.
Amy smiled. “That’s so sweet of you, Sheldon. However, I’m still not quite sure as to what this here is. Would you please enlighten me?”
“Of course,” Sheldon answered, courtly. “Take a seat and I’ll explain.”
Amy went to the dining table and inspected the severed dishes scattered on it. She came to the conclusion that they looked quite familiar to her. She’d seen them before but she wasn’t quite sure where. She shrugged and hoped that Sheldon would solve that mystery for her. She was just about to pull the chair back to take a seat, as Sheldon was behind her and preempted her. Amy wasn’t used to Sheldon being that courteous.
“Thank you, Sheldon,” she said, her eyes widening in surprise. “I didn’t know you could be a gentleman.”
“Oh Amy, I’m a gentleman all the time!” Sheldon said, proud of himself. “Now take a seat and rest for a bit. You must have had a stressful day at work.”
For the second time this day, Amy was amazed by Sheldon. He seemed to be in caretaker mode, which was unusual for him. Maybe the fact that it was her birthday did contribute to his efforts.
“So, Amy, you may wonder about the dishes on the table,” Sheldon began his explanations. “Since I know about your admiration for the tv show Little House on the prairie , I thought that maybe I could try and bring some part of that comfort show home for you.”
Amy’s heart warmed at that. She was speechless. “Sheldon,” she started, her voice trembling a bit. She felt tears well up in her eyes, because this was just a side of her boyfriend she never thought she would ever learn about. “Thank you so much, this is incredible. It means so much to me that you try so hard to please me on my birthday. You’ve certainly made my day so much better already, and I’m really looking forward to trying your dishes.”
Sheldon smiled at her and wiped a tear off her cheek with the finger pad of his thumb. “You’re very welcome, Amy. I do hope the food is pleasing to your tastebuds, as well, not just to your eyes. I’ve spent the entire day working in the kitchen. It was a rollercoaster, I can tell you. Ups and downs.”
Amy was touched. “I’m sure it will be just perfect, Sheldon. Thank you so much for cooking.”
“Let’s start then, Amy. Have a nice meal –,” he paused and pondered, then corrected himself, “or should I rather say dinner?”
Amy rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Doesn’t really matter, Sheldon. Let’s dig in!”
With that, the couple dined in silence. Amy and Sheldon weren’t talkers when it came to food. They rather preferred just focusing on what they were eating, allowing their taste buds to fully come alive with pleasure. If either of them talked it was just to ask for the salt or for other really important things – Amy knew that Sheldon would always deem salt and other spices beyond relevant, for they added soul and essence to the food. Amy shared this opinion. However, according to her spices couldn’t save every dish.
“How do you like it, Amy?” Sheldon asked, looking at her expectantly.
Amy raised her eyebrows, surprised, and swallowed hard. Truth was that it tasted a bit off. Something wasn’t right with the food, but she didn’t know how to break it to Sheldon, seeing that he had spent so much time in the kitchen just for her. Thus, she forced a smile. “It’s really great, Sheldon.”
Sheldon shrugged, pushing the knob of self-made butter around on his plate. “If you say so, I’m not quite sure about the food, though.”
Amy bit her lip, hesitating. Should she say something? Apparently, Sheldon wasn’t too keen anymore on eating the dishes he’d made. Still, should she kill that spark of pride that probably still was alive within? Quite frankly, she didn’t have the heart to tell him directly that she thought his food was bad. However, part of her knew that she needed to confront him with the truth, to level at least a bit of criticism against Sheldon and his definitely improvable cooking abilities.
She took his hand gently, at which Sheldon gasped, taken off guard. “Sheldon, listen to me,” she began, holding his gaze, “To be brutally honest with you, you are absolutely right. The food tastes awful! Still, it’s a really thoughtful surprise. Besides, you’ve still got a shot with the other birthday present.” Amy winked and flipped her hair back, releasing Sheldon’s hands slowly.
Sheldon looked into her eyes, serious. “Thank you for being honest with me, Amy. I’m sorry that the food wasn’t something to please our taste buds with. Maybe I’m not the best cook, I’ll definitely need to develop my cooking abilities. However, I surely will make it up to you with the best coitus you’ve ever had in your life and please you in bed.”
“Wow,” she cleared her throat. “I’m so looking forward to that.”
Sheldon smiled at her, softly. “Me, too.”
Amy couldn’t believe her luck. Sheldon was looking forward to their coitus, as well. While he had told her last time, after the first time they had coitus, that it had not been as bad as he had thought before, Amy needed this reassurance on a constant basis.
“You do?” Amy asked incredulously.
“Of course, Amy,” Sheldon declared, throwing his hands in the air. “Please rest assured that I wouldn’t partake in such activities if I was in the slightest bit disgusted or did not enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Sheldon, for making that clear”, Amy thanked.
“Any time, Amy”, Sheldon replied.
“Good, I might need to hear that more often.”
“I assume we’re finished eating now, are we?” Sheldon asked, getting ready to stand up.
“Definitely, Sheldon”, Amy chuckled softly and arose, as well.
“Perfect, let’s dispose of this garbage.”
“You don’t need to ask me twice,” Amy agreed, smiling sheepishly.
They cleared the table, throwing the food away because they knew that neither of them would like to eat it in the coming days. They could have given the food to Leonard and Penny, just to get on their nerves. However, both of their neighbors had behaved astonishingly well in the last week and thus didn’t deserve the punishment. Although it didn’t really lie in Amy’s nature to punish people; that was more of Bernadette’s business when she felt like it. Whatever it was that Sheldon understood as a punishment, never actually was one. Once he had spanked Amy after she had lied to him about feeling sick. Little had he known that she enjoyed it thoroughly. Amy laughed quietly at the memory. They sure had had their moments.
This dinner had not been the best, not to say horrible, but that didn’t mean it would result in a bad birthday night. At least, that was what Amy thought.
It was 10pm, Sheldon’s bedtime. Thus, Amy laid in bed, next to Sheldon who was quite pale in the face. He had his arms wrapped around his abdomen, shivering slightly. Amy felt bad just looking at him.
“Would it be alright for you if we postponed our birthday coitus?” Sheldon asked, sounding not like himself at all. His voice came out quite weakly.
“Absolutely,” Amy groaned, wrapping her arms around her middle as a vicious cramp seized her stomach.
“Abdominal discomfort?” Sheldon asked, sympathetic.
“Well, this food definitely has messed up my digestive system,” Amy confessed, her voice faint.
“I’m sorry,” Sheldon replied, cast down. “Any nausea?”
“Not right now, and please stop apologizing! Could have been my fault, as well, if I’d been in charge of cooking. Also, you never know whether some ingredients were bad from the start,” Amy tried to reassure Sheldon.
“I’m still sorry,” Sheldon sighed.
“Thank you,” Amy mumbled and curled up in a fetal position. Her stomach was cramping relentlessly. Amy was close to tears. This wasn’t how she’d imagined her birthday night to proceed. Too hurt so much when all she wanted was to be intimate with Sheldon. It was a crumb of comfort to her that he’d proposed to postpone it and not cancel it, but still it hurt deep inside her chest. Her stomach gurgled ominously, and she cried.
Sheldon hugged her from behind, cautiously. “I’m sorry you’re hurting so much. How can I make it better?”
“I don’t know, Sheldon,” Amy replied truthfully, sniffling. “I highly appreciate your concern, but how are you doing?”
Amy turned around in Sheldon’s embrace and looked into his misty blue eyes.
“My abdomen’s giving me discomfort,” Sheldon muttered.
Amy sighed and snuggled closer to him. “I thought so. I’m sorry.”
“I’ve read that heat’s supposed to ease cramps,” Sheldon said, engulfing Amy in his arms.
“Okay, what are you planning on doing?”
“Maybe I could get a hot water bottle,” Sheldon pondered.
“That would actually be helpful,” Amy replied, feeling a glimpse of hope deep within her. Maybe her cramps would soon dissipate.
“Alright, I’m getting it.” Sheldon arose and stretched, wincing and laying a hand on his stomach. He swallowed thickly. “I might as well bring a bucket with me.”
“Oh no! Are you feeling nauseous?” Amy asked, concerned for him.
“Not yet, but I’m sure it won’t be long until I vomit.”
Amy nodded and Sheldon left the bedroom. Amy waited for him, writhing in pain. He soon returned.
“Just for the case any of us decides to puke their guts out,” Sheldon stated, setting the bucket right next to his side of the double bed. He climbed back into bed and placed the hot water bottle on Amy’s belly. She sighed, content. The warmth was indeed soothing. Sheldon whispered, “I hope your tummy feels better soon.”
Amy gasped, surprised. “I never thought I’d see the day where you take the word tummy into your mouth.”
“Why not?” Sheldon asked, puzzled. “It’s actually quite a cute word.”
“Yes, Sheldon, it’s a cute word. It’s how little children talk.”
“Oh – ,” Sheldon started. “Well, it doesn’t matter much. I’m a grown child anyway.”
Amy laughed softly. “Yes, you definitely are. Thank you, though, for getting up and bringing me this how water bottle.”
“Any time for you,” Sheldon grinned, but his smile didn’t last long. His face contorted in pain. He held his stomach as it gurgled.
“You seem to be in pain,” Amy said.
“Well, correct me if I’m wrong – which actually never happens – but isn’t it quite obvious to you, Amy?” Sheldon kind of snapped.
While Amy would have been mad at Sheldon on any other day, she only felt sympathy for him. “Let me help, please!”
“Alright, if you insist,” Sheldon agreed. “However, first I’ve got to ask what you’re planning on doing.”
“Well, I’ve read that a belly massage can soothe an upset stomach,” Amy replied, sounding sure of herself.
“While that certainly may be true, but I don’t know how I feel about you touching me there,” Sheldon admitted meekly. He hugged his stomach tighter, as he was seized by a horrendous cramp. He whined and gulped, but he couldn’t hold it in any longer. He grabbed the bucket next to their bed just in time to vomit.
“Oh, Sheldon!” Amy exclaimed worried, rubbing his back. “Let it all out! You’ll be okay.”
After three strenuous rounds of vomiting, Sheldon wiped his mouth on his sleeve, whimpering. He ridded himself of his contaminated t-shirt. At least, for him it was contaminated, Amy concluded, as she saw his nose wrinkle in disgust.
“Don’t worry about it, Sheldon, I’ll get it. Now lie back down and rest a bit” Amy said, arising carefully, for she still felt queasy, but taking that bucket away was more important for now than the comfort of her bed. She didn’t want Sheldon to be triggered by the smell and maybe puke again. She took the pail and his t-shirt and left their bedroom to dispose of his yucky bodily fluids.
Soon she returned and settled back in bed next to Sheldon. “Now tell me what’s your problem with having your cute little belly touched.”
“First of all, my belly certainly is not cute. Secondly, it’s just that it’s quite intimate,” Sheldon warranted, his face relaxed as his stomach had calmed significantly. “Don’t you think so, Amy?”
“Well, I have no problem with that.”
Sheldon contemplated. “But I thought we wanted to rule out coitus for tonight?”
“Sheldon, a massage, or a belly rub for that matter, doesn’t necessarily lead to coitus,” Amy reasoned. She bit her lip, wishing she’d left out the word necessarily . Her worry counted for nothing, since Sheldon was apparently still feeling too bad to have noticed it. He definitely looked exhausted, too.
“Alright, under the condition that there will be no coitus I’m inclined to let you touch my tummy.”
Amy blushed, finding it adorable that Sheldon used this word not only to refer to her but also to his own abdomen. “Okay, then let’s try it. Trial and error, as the scientists say.”
“Why error? There’s not much you can do wrong when it comes to abdominal massage. It’s really simple, anyone could master it.”
Amy rolled her eyes and replied, holding her stomach tightly as it cramped. “If you’re so sure about it, how about you try it first?”
“On my own stomach? Amy, that’s weird,” Sheldon declared, looking down at his own abdomen, cradling it still in his arms.
Amy whimpered. “My stomach’s still hurting, Sheldon. I don’t think the heat’s helping at all. Besides, the hot water bottle has gone cold by now.”
Sheldon frowned. “If that’s what you wanted all along, why haven’t you asked me earlier to rub your belly?”
Amy turned crimson and mumbled, “I didn’t know what you’d think of it. Would you actually like to rub my belly?”
“Of course, Amy. If it could help ease your pain,” Sheldon replied, nodding eagerly. He scooted closer to Amy and hovered his hand over her abdomen, looking into her eyes. “May I?”
Amy nodded. “Permission granted.”
Sheldon laid his hand onto her belly that was still clothed. Amy closed her eyes, breathing in and out slowly. Sheldon cautiously made circles around her umbilicus, ruffling her t-shirt around in the process.
“Amy, I think we’re getting nowhere if I keep rubbing your t-shirt,” Sheldon stated, matter-of-factly.
“I can only agree, Sheldon.”
“For the purpose of making you feel better, may I uncover your abdomen?” Sheldon asked. Amy knew that he needed reassurance just as much as she did. Besides, asking consent before doing anything is important.
Amy nodded. “Yes, please do.”
Sheldon busied himself with pushing her t-shirt up, exposing her abdomen. Then he blew in his hands and rubbed them together.
Amy looked up at him confused. “What are you doing?”
“Warming my hands so that they’re not too cold on your tummy,” Sheldon answered, smiling gently.
Amy gasped for air as she felt his fingertips on her bare belly. They were warm and smooth – you could tell that he did indeed pamper his hands. Slowly, Sheldon traced patterns with his finger pads, pressing in only slightly. He drew circles, swirls, rectangles and other geometric objects on her abdomen, apparently losing himself in the process. Amy sensed, however, that not only she enjoyed receiving the belly rub, but that Sheldon seemed to be heavenly pleased giving it to her. His eyes were closed, and he only relied on his tactile sense to guide him where his fingers needed to be. Soon Sheldon became more confident and laid his palm fully on Amy’s stomach. He let it rest there for a while before rubbing some deep circles, working on each of the four abdominal quadrants. Amy sighed. She felt heavenly – no, this certainly was heaven! Suddenly, another cramp seized her stomach and she cried out in pain, hugging her belly and shoving Sheldon’s hands away.
“Oh, Amy!” Sheldon exclaimed sympathetically, looking her over, worried. “I’m so sorry that cute little belly of yours gives you so much grief.”
As the cramp had dissipated, Amy sighed. “Thank you, Sheldon. How’s your cute little belly doing?”
“It’s better, doesn’t hurt so much anymore,” Sheldon muttered, blushing furiously. “Let’s focus on getting your poor tummy better.”
Sheldon’s hands found her abdomen again. This time they lay against her middle naturally, knowing fully well that they belonged there for now. They moved in circles gracefully, performing their own little dance. The warmth of Sheldon’s hands lulled Amy slowly to sleep. She hadn’t noticed how tired she truly was.
“Sheldon, this is perhaps better than coitus,” she whispered, before she leaped into dreamland. Sheldon, however, kept rubbing her belly and kissed it goodnight before going to sleep himself.