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There’s nothing Ocean can’t do. That’s what her parents told her from a very young age, one of the few positive statements that made any sense to her- she could do anything if she tried. Of course, they hadn’t imagined she’d commit her every success to centralistic, government focused leadership and competition- had they known that they’d never have made the sentence so simple. But even to this day when she left the house early as 5 am, stinking of weed and taking the walk to Constance’s house to change into her uniform; her parents still told her she could do anything.
So, when the accident happened and Father Marcus died before he could learn any of the children would be alright- and after what felt like decades in limbo before being revived at the scene, Ocean took it upon herself to take charge.
But this wasn’t her usual power trip tactic, oh no- this time around was going to be much different. She was going to use every breath, every moment, every blink to making the lives of others better.
And what could be better for the improvement of the choir if she took role as stand-in leader until they had a new Choir Master?
The nuns were certainly taking their sweet time, if they weren’t randomly assigned a woman who knew nothing of music one week- they were stuck straggling around the choir room after school, barely able to start a practice rehearsal.
One time Constance’s mom even came to play substitute, but the kids quickly realized as nice as Mrs. Blackwood was- not only could she not hold a tune, but she was getting the kids to make a jingle for the café for free. And Ocean believed in generosity and charity, especially after floating through carney space- but not getting paid for a small-town commercial that would’ve only been seen by as many as one hundred people was one step too far.
As she stepped down the halls from Algebra 12, she was confident- no, certain that she could take the choir in the right direction after Father Marcus passed on. Her friends didn’t deserve to have a lousy last year of choir, especially not Jane- Penny. Weeks later and she was still struggling to get used to her new name, new face- same everything else, thankfully. This was her first year!
True she only joined to go to the carnival…
But her voice was beautiful! All that untapped potential in a model of good manners and politeness!
Besides, it was only November, they still had all of winter and spring to make up for the position the accident left them in.
“Okay everyone!” Ocean’s chipper voice and little skip as she passed through the yellow doors didn’t faze the choir members in the slightest, as they continued to chat and straggle the classroom. Mischa and Hank were showing vulgar photos to Ricky Potts, apparently choir wasn’t sacred enough to be free of rampant, inappropriate sexuality. She spotted the usual stragglers, by the window trying to see who was getting yelled at in the parking lot, Astrid and Corey never seemed overly concerned with club matters- her cousin was a real pain. It helped they were so distant, so she didn’t have to waste her energy urging her to have more enthusiasm and commitment the way she did Mischa.
She was only slightly nicer to Ocean anyways since the accident, but that passed as soon as the physical wounds healed. She was more concerned there wasn’t enough room to get on board and she could soak in the “Cyclone Disaster” fame. If you could even call it that, stares and apologetic smiles weren’t how Ocean wanted to start her career.
“Helloooo, everybody!” Ocean dropped her bag beside the podium, clapping her hands together with a big grin.
But no one reacted.
She scanned her eyes away from the window, Constance and Noel were deep in discussion over some cartoon show Ocean couldn’t get into. Constance tried showing it to her, but the ginger believed animated programs were for young children and she had never been a real child, but she’d been able to admit that more freely since the accident; instead of saying it was juvenile the way she wanted to.
At the edge of the four tier bleachers closest to the closet door was Penny, she always put herself right there- if she wasn’t behind everybody she as far left in the room as possible. Ocean couldn’t tell if it was a subconscious choice or not, she’d done the same thing when she was Jane, and they were all…dead.
During the few practices they had that hadn’t been totally derailed by unexperienced substitutes, she was always drifting so far to the side or behind- she’d already been marked absent eight times by accident! It was thanks to Ocean’s great reasoning skills with the nuns and Mischa’s sheer rage that they got those stricken for her record.
“Hello Ocean,” Penny’s loud welcome was all it took to get the others to snap their heads to the podium.
It was a wonder how Penny got overlooked so often when she was often so…
Hard to miss.
Was Jane-
Was Penny always like this? Even before the accident? Ocean was ashamed to say she still wasn’t very sure. Even two months later, they were still getting a hang of the girl.
“Alright everybody, let’s get started- “Ocean clapped her hands together, watching some members groan as they moved to sit on the bleachers, Mischa pushed Ricky in his wheelchair- his legs still in casts from the accident.
She got distracted out of her pre-planned speech, staring at her friends- it was hard to miss who had been in the accident and who wasn’t.
J-Penny still had a neck brace and moved so stiffly, she’d been nearly decapitated, they thought she would be paralyzed. Constance’s arm in a sling and a thick book that did not do good for her image as far as Ocean was concerned- Noel was still complaining that his cast clashed so badly with his wardrobe, he wouldn’t be able to wear anything blue for months. Mischa’d gotten badly thrown around in the coaster and had his wrist totally snapped back, but other than a few broken ribs, he healed quickly.
Other than the scar on Ocean’s hand, and the long scar around her elbow hidden by her sweater, not much was there to complain about. On the outside anyways.
“Do we have to play this charade, Ocean?” Noel complained, Ocean could still see him in that skimpy black dress and wig, dancing his heart out about the life he wanted to live.
“I mean-with no Father Marcus,” Constance shrugged her shoulders, she’d let her hair down ever since the accident more, “There’s no point. None of us are trained in choir conducting.”
Every time she looked at her friends, she was reminded what happened.
Why they were still alive.
Why she had to make this last year count for something.
“We don’t need experience to keep this choir going!” Ocean grinned, “Well- that’s not true, we would do better with an experienced adult to keep us in direction. But this will be great experience for us when we’re faced with sudden loss in the workplace! In professional church and theatre choirs- the show must go on! That wouldn’t be so popular a saying if it weren’t true, you know.”
A chorus of groans and eye rolls so loud filled the room, the only ones who didn’t seem to whine, as normal, were Penny and Constance.
Constance nodded enthusiastically, clapping for her little speech- Penny caught on a bit too late with the applause, stiff fingers pressing one another so lightly, you’d hear a pin drop before you heard the clap.
“So, I’ve decided to take the reins for today,” She puffed out her chest, a big grin taking over her face, “It’ll be just like Father Marcus never left, I promise!”
She hopped down from the little step connected to the podium, rushing around the classroom to find where Father Marcus put the music sheets. Always on the top drawer of the center desk, bound in Manila folders with his chicken scratch notes written on top. It seemed for each song he’d preplanned who would have what part. Though, Penny’s name wasn’t anywhere on the folders, though she was on the attendance sheet. Maybe Father Markus just hadn’t known her long enough to know where to put her! That would be ok, with his notes, and Ocean’s quick skills, it would be no problem.
This would be easy!
“Let’s start with the Thursday pep rally hymn and then move onto “Shake the Wall”,” Ocean smiled, basking in the less than excited attention as she passed sheet music to each member of the choir.
Hopping up to the podium with her stapled papers in hand, she flattened out the sheets lightly, looking up at all the faces standing on the bleachers.
Well, five faces in particular.
She didn’t care about what everyone else thought of her, rare for Ocean of course.
She had to make this last year of choir good for them.
They’d died, come back to life, they deserved the most out of this second chance that Ocean could possibly give.
She wanted to make this last year amazing for her friends.
Maybe after the session, she could ask Ricky for some of his ideas for songs.
Constance was amazing at belting; she really should’ve had more solos the last few years of performances.
Noel was always complaining that they didn’t wear snazzy outfits for their concerts- she’d have to take him up on that.
Mischa was an excellent rapper- though Ocean preferred the term spoken lyric artist- there had to be a song tame enough for the school to allow.
Jane-
Penny.
Ocean was going to make sure she didn’t get forgotten again.
She’d been the most deserving of that second chance, she was the one who won the vote.
Ocean was determined, now that it seemed they all got their second chance, one she didn’t feel she deserved anymore-
That they would have the best Senior year ever.
There’s nothing Ocean can’t do.
“No no no! Ugh- “
That’s what her parents told her from an incredibly young age, one of the few positive-
“Noel! This is not a solo!”
-that made any sense to her- she could do anything if she tried.
But she discovered-
“Ocean come on! We’ve sung this ten times in a row now!”
“How’s that any different from how we normally practice?” She gasped, exasperated.
“Father Marcus would have more notes than ‘that was terrible- do it again,’ Ocean,” Constance smiled nervously.
Choir leading was hard.
It wasn’t just hard.
It was impossible.
They’d gotten off to a fine enough start, Ocean excelled at boring everyone to death long enough to get them to stop ignoring her- their attention was all she needed to lighten up after all. She had the sheet music all set up, the temperature adjusted to best soothe their throats, she even had everyone in the best positions possible for their projection skills-
And then they started singing- and Ocean immediately shut it down.
Normally, when Father Marcus was still around, she would wait until the song had come to an end to share her critiques with the group- but all the notes she could lose in those precious moments between the bridge of a song and the finale was one too many!
“Oh my god- Ocean- “Mischa groaned, holding his head in his hands for a moment, everyone shared a look of exhaustion.
They hadn’t been able to get past the first song, and it was nearly the end of their two-hour rehearsal time. They hadn’t even been able to sing the song in full! The room sounded like a broken record, constantly skipping back, and adjusting their pitch, - before Ocean stopped them again dead in their tracks.
The slightest waver, any flat notes- no matter how many beautiful ones they were wrapped up in, wouldn’t go unnoticed by Ocean.
What was almost worse than her nitpicking was the way she condescended to everyone while correcting them.
“Sweetie, that was supposed to be B sharp- you gave us a B flat, come on- “She joyfully grinned to Constance while doing an obnoxious jerk with her arms, like some kind of old timey barber. “Don’t- be flat!”
Constance laughed the same way she did when with a guy she didn’t want to insult her and brushed it off.
“Noel! You’re not supposed to riff during this bridge of the song!” Ocean squealed a few moments later.
Noel scoffed, placing his hands on his hips, “The original recording has a riff- and I have the best improv skills here.”
“What?! Me and Constance are actually a part of the Improv Club!”
“Yeah- that you ditched after two weeks because it wasn’t structured enough,” Noel rose a brow, just sending Ocean into a fit of frustrated noises and stomps before she told them to reset once again.
“It was too vulgar! They didn’t take my suggestions for a cleaner routine seriously,” She grumbled under her breath while flipping back to the start of the song.
It was Mischa’s turn to be glared at not too long after that.
Sure, he always would dip his head down now and then to send a few texts to Talia, who Ocean still wasn’t sure or not was a real girl- and it was fine when it was once or twice a session. But throughout nearly a whole song? His singing totally changed when his head was dipped down to the side, it ruined the whole thing! If one singer sounded distracted, future judges would judge the whole choir for it!
He only bothered to lift his head after Ocean threw a crumpled-up ball at his chest- her throw wasn’t great but at least she had good aim.
“Woah! What is your problem, Orphan-A-Hole?” Mischa gasped, so exasperated he dropped his phone into the bleachers.
He clenched his empty fist tight, shouting something no one in the group could decipher in Ukrainian. It took more time out of their practice for Mischa to hop down from his step and squeeze his arms between the gaps to find his cellphone than it would’ve if Ocean just let it be. Of course, she didn’t apologize- she didn’t think she should, she wasn’t to blame for his big, clumsy hands.
They had been right in the middle of a classic hymn when suddenly one voice completely stopped, and Ocean saw a hand raise up over the little crowd. Penny’s mouth was shut tight, raising her hand as far as she could without extending her shoulder, staring Ocean right in the eyes. If it hadn’t been so…annoying that she was actively trying to disrupt the session, Ocean might’ve shivered at those dark green eyes burrowing through her soul.
“Ugh,” Ocean reached up to squeeze the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath before putting on that award winning smile she practiced so hard in the mirror.
“Yes Penny? Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?” She didn’t mean to, but her tone was really condescending, talking to Penny almost like she was a child.
“Oh wow- our first break after 3 hours of non-stop torture?” Noel grumbled, crossing his arms, “How generous, Frau Ocean.”
“No. I do not need to relieve myself Ocean.” Penny slowly brought her hand back down to her thigh, interlacing her fingers.
"Could I leave please?"
“Leave?” That had Ocean taken aback.
“If you don’t have to go to the bathroom…, are you feeling sick? Do you need some ibuprofen?” Constance leaned over to see the girl hidden behind Ricky.
“No, I feel just fine.” Penny’s lips turned into that stretched, flat smile she normally did when she felt awkward.
“I would like to leave before you say something mean to me too.”
Ocean’s smile instantly dropped. “What?”
“You teach very differently from how the substitutes teach and I don’t like it.”
“O-Oh,” Ocean paused. Penny was always honest, brutally so- if she didn’t like Ocean’s teaching style…
She cast her eyes across the row of unhappy, bored, miserable faces.
She thought this would be easy, she’d lead bigger groups for more complicated subjects before. She had no problem guiding the direction of group projects or nerds who offered to set up their concert dressing. It was supposed to be easier with her friends. She was Ocean O-Connell-Rosenberg! She could do anything!
The ginger cleared her throat, forcing herself to make eye contact with Penny once more after shuffling her sheet music. “What…what am I doing wrong?” Her mousy voice was no match for Penny’s volume.
“You stop us every time someone makes a mistake. Or when you think someone made a mistake, and when we are allowed to start again- you make us start from the beginning. It’s very repetitive.” Penny blinked, “And you’re not saying it in very nice ways. My therapist says constructive criticism doesn’t work with a happy voice and harsh works. You called Noel pitchy eight times, he was only off pitch twice, he was actually off key the other times. Constance is the harmony of the songs we’ve studied, she’s not supposed to sing the same notes as us- she’s not being flat on purpose, it’s her job. Mischa just needs to properly stretch his vocal cords when he turns his head 90 degrees to the right and 30 degrees down and you wouldn’t notice him on his phone at all.”
Everyone was stunned silent, all staring at Penny whose awkward smile hadn’t changed. She slowly cocked her head, realizing everyone’s eyes suddenly on her, she released her hands to her side.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” She patted her stuff hands against her dress skirt, looking at the floor for a moment, her cheeks slowly turning pink.
“No no- don’t be sorry, Penny.” Ocean was the first to reassure her, coming down from the little stool she had placed in front of Father Marcus’s podium, stepping up to the choir. Her face was twisted with embarrassment, Ocean couldn’t believe she’d been so wrong- she couldn’t even tell when her team was making actual mistakes.
“I-I should apologize…” Ocean pressed her hand to her chest, sighing.
“I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t trying to be mean. Honest you guys. I really thought I was helping…” She twisted her pinkie between her finger and thumb, biting her lip.
She was supposed to be a leader, it came so naturally to her!
For everything but choir it seemed.
A big sigh came from Noel, who cocked his hip and grumbled.
“You were doing your best, Ocean.” Noel relented, his scowl softening. “I mean… no one can replace Father Marcus.”
“He left very large shoes to fill.” Mischa pouted, “But they are not yours to fill! You don’t need to boss us around, Ocean.”
Not more than usual anyways. Ricky signed.
“You’re a member of the choir, Ocean- it doesn’t work if we’re not all singing together,” Constance grinned, taking Ocean’s hand.
“That may be the corniest thing I’ve ever heard,” Noel fake gagged, slowly stepping down from the bleachers. He was a sucker for emotional displays but even he had his limit.
“I’m sorry you guys- I promise, even if I can’t be a great chorus leader like Father Marcus was,” Ocean squeezed Constance tight, she was always so reassuring, “I will find us a substitute just as amazing as him. If not better.”
“Maybe with some practice you’d do a good job.” Mischa shrugged.
“Yes. But- don’t practice on us.” Penny shook her head, getting a big laugh from Ocean.
“I promise.”
Even if she couldn’t take the lead, Ocean figured it was for the best. They could still have the best final year of choir; she would keep that promise- especially if she wasn’t spoiling everyone’s self esteem 2 hours a day at the head of the class.