Chapter Text
Raph considered himself to be a patient guy. A prank from Leo that ends up getting them all grounded? Not a big deal; Everyone makes mistakes. A subdermal chip that Donnie implanted while he was sleeping that has recently decided to beep once an hour, every hour? No probs; He had good intentions. Mikey, using his artistic talents to decorate his room in neon paint and Christmas lights? Not an issue. To be completely fair, it was fun to look at any time he wasn’t trying to sleep. Regardless, he’s always able to stay calm and collected. Doesn’t matter that his normal method of venting his anger is currently out of commission due to Junior going a little too hard on the training dummies (and Franken Foot). He would be absolutely cool and calm on patrol.
Absolutely, positively, completely calm.
“Remind me again why we’re out here.”
Not that his brothers had any intention on making it any easier.
“Because Leo, we gotta keep the city safe. Like heroes do.” Raph says, jumping over to the next rooftop along their route.
“I feel like heroes cause significantly less property damage.” Donnie retorts, gliding by with his jetpack. “We’re more like Chaotic Good vigilantes.”
“I cannot and will not be held liable for the actions of Dr. Delicate Touch.” A chain wraps around a streetlamp swinging Mikey to the next rooftop. “Besides, I was on Tweeter and there are lots of people calling the 4 green monsters that stopped the weird pink aliens, heroes!”
“Hey! Who’s calling us monsters on Tweeter?” Leo pouts, jumping across the alley below. “I look better than like 90% of the people in this city!” He says vaulting over a chimney.
“Focus up guys. You never know where danger might be lurking.” Raph climbs the water tower on their current rooftop; narrowing his eyes to look through the city. He can still see remnants of the Krang, and the chaos left in their wake. It had been a few months since they beat them back into the prison dimension, but the city was still recovering. Mostly because of Repo Mantis if he’s being honest. Lots of “junk” left in the city after the invasion and he runs a junkyard. Was just a matter of time (6 minutes if he remembers right) before got his grubby pincers involved. The foot clan luckily, haven’t been very active. Not that he could really blame them since both of the world ending disasters that they caused were stopped by him and his family. Meat sweats hasn’t been seen in a while but the number of missing yokai reports and stolen culinary supplies (Lots of Cumin and Paprika) have increased so they’ll probably have to investigate that at some point. Big Mama had been quiet as well lately. Raph had to guess that she was content with the recent popularity of the Battle Nexus. The invasion and rebuilding effort left people exhausted, and her arena seemed like the perfect way to raise spirits. Whether or not he visited there once or thrice wasn’t important. Most of their other baddies probably weren’t important enough to worry about for now. Probably.
“Raph, we have been on patrol for 96 minutes. The chances of anyone or anything being in imminent danger is lower than the chance that dad has moved from his recliner in the last 3 hours.” Donnie hovers next to him, a bored expression grafted onto his face.
“This is one of those rare times where Donnie’s right Raph. I can portal us to Señor Hueso’s and we can be back home with pizzas before The Golden Girls Reunion premieres!” Leo says, cutting open a portal beside them.
“It will be the first time in 20 YEARS that Dorothy and Sophia see each other, Raph!” Mikey starts jumping up and down in anticipation.
“Listen Mikey, NO ONE wants to see them together again more than me. But we’ve got a job to do.” His brothers knew his weakness for those old sassy broads, and they also knew that he’d cave pretty quickly if something didn’t happen soon.
“But- “
A blood-curdling shriek cuts Mikey off. The brothers quickly shift their focus from the prospect of watching Betty White fist fight someone, to the alley below them.
“See guys? I TOLD you we should’ve listened to Raph. God Donnie you really need to start paying more attention and take these patrols more seriously.” Leo says, jumping down into the alley.
“Leo, I swear on Aristotle’s Alembic I will record over all your telenovelas if you don’t shut up.” Donnie threatens, flying down to follow him.
“Maybe we shouldn’t jump into the very dark alley wear some poor woman probably just got murdered. Maybe we let the police get this one and we call April to come watch the reunion with us.” A look from Raph tells Mikey that’s not an option as he follows the twins down into the darkness. Raph, close behind.
As they landed, they assumed their usual positions. Practiced and perfected over hundreds of encounters just like this. Raph with his Sais, Mikey with his nunchakus, Leo with his Katanas, and Donnie with his...laser gun?
“Wait what? Since when are we allowed to use laser guns? I want a laser gun…” Leo reaches for the gun in Donnie’s hand but is held back by his brother foot, planted firmly on his face.
“NO Leon. This is Vanessa, my Lateral Antimatter Zeta Reaction gun. Or L.A.Z.R. gun for short. Fresh out of beta and ready to unleash some scientific POWER. And you, cannot have her.” Donnie says, cradling the gun as though it were his own daughter.
Raph could feel the pride and adoration radiating off his younger brother as Leo continues to try and grab his pseudo-child and decides that he doesn’t have the energy or patience to address any part of this. He instead decides to focus instead on the scene before him. At a glance, he doesn’t think anything appears particularly out of the ordinary for New York. Trash bins toppled over, the ground being dotted with mystery fluids, A hulking figure with its back turned to them and green ooze on the ground in front of it, and Hypno.
“Hypno? Wait, are you the one that was screaming like a little girl?” Mikey asked the question purely out of curiosity, but it was enough to get Leo to forget about Vanessa and fall to the ground, sprawled out, crying, and laughing.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! WE THOUGHT SOME POOR WOMAN WAS GETTING EVISCERATED AND IT’S JUST HYPNO? HAHAHAHAHA!” Raph looks over to Donnie and can see him debating whether or not to shoot. Whether he’s considering shooting Hypno or Leo, he doesn’t know. What he does know is that he should probably try and end this before he makes up his mind.
“Right…Ok. Hypno, what’s got you shrieking like a lil girl?” They were on patrol to keep the city and its people safe and technically, Hypno was a part of the city and its people. A very annoying and very frustrating part but still a part of it. As such, Raph knew that they had to at least try and help him out.
“Its Warren! Look at what it did to my dear Warren.” Hypno holds out his hands to them to reveal half of a worm with a mullet. The worm writhes and convulses in a way that makes Raph wish that they had just stayed home. Instead, he got to watch as the worm spontaneously (and in his opinion graphically) regrew its missing bottom half and stood tall in Hypno’s hand.
“I’m fine Ron, I already told you that. I don’t want any pity from these TURTLES!” Warren raises a shaking fist at Raph since he’s the closest. “What type of Arch-nemesis would I be if I needed help from my Archenemy?”
“Well, if that’s all…” Raph can hear Donnie’s Battle shell hum in preparation to take flight. He looks back and sees his brother leaning on the base of the laser gun. “…then I think our work here is done. Leon, if you’d be so kind as to take Raphael and get the pizzas from Run of the Mill. Come on Michael, Vanessa and I will give you a ride.”
Raph knew that they still had to find out what happened to the worm thing (What was his name again?). He also knew that there was no way any of his other brothers would take the initiative to investigate this while the prospect of a Betty White unleashing some 90-year-old fury was on the table.
“Guys-”
“OH WARREN! Thank heavens you’re alright! You gave me a right scare getting bisected like that you know.” Hypno smacked both lips right to the side of the mullet wearing worm and enveloped it with both of his arms. Raph turns his attention back to his brothers. Watching as Mikey straddles Donnie’s back ready to take off and Leo cuts open a portal to what was probably Señor Hueso’s. He had to remember to stay calm, resist the temptation to go home and watch those sassy women fight on tv, resist the temptation to simply ignore Hypno and his pet worm and leave them to…whatever did that to them, and most importantly resist the temptation to get angry that no one appears to be listening to him.
“Guys wa-”
“YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT TURTLES. RUN! COWER IN FEAR OF WARREN STONE! GREATEST VILLAIN AND THREAT TO THE CITY! BOW BEFORE MY POWER!” The tiny worm in Hypno’s hand was giving Raph a headache. He still didn’t know what exactly happened to it, but he was quickly losing patience for everyone and everything in this alley.
“GUYS”
Just as he finally gets his brothers’ attention and just as he finally gets the worm (Warren?) and Hypno to shut up, life finds a way to throw him another issue.
Draxum had long since changed his ways and Raph considered him to be part of his family. However, his previous actions as “The Baron” had still left their marks on the city. Like the mutant stepping from out the shadows to loom over Hypno and Warren. 3 heads, A lion with gnashing teeth, a snake dripping acid from 10-inch fangs, and a…goat…peer down at them. Foot long nails jut out from its paws scraping the walls of the alley; Wings, larger than him and Hypno combined extend above it; And a scorpion’s tail thrashing out at them. The green ooze probably should’ve clued him in on the fact that the hulking figure wasn’t just a big hobo. On the plus side, he can guess what probably happened to Warren now.
“OHMIGOSH, IT’S A MUTANT CHIPPINDALE!” Mikey says, still hanging onto Donnie’s shell, trembling under the gaze of the large beast.
“It’s “chimera” not “Chippindale” Mikey.” Donnie corrects. “And worry not brothers, Vanessa and I are more than ready!” he says.
No sooner had he readied the gun had the chimera lurched forward, slashing the weapon to ribbons and leaving it to fall before him. Raph would like to say that he hadn’t expected this but given how this night was treating him, it made sense.
“VANESSAAAAAAA!” Donnie crumbles to the ground, tears filling his eyes. “You’ll pay for that!” He says, summoning his bo staff.
The chimera advances on his position, teeth and fangs bared, stopped only by a trash bin being hurled at its goat head. Momentarily stunned, the chimera fails to notice the dumpster following suite.
“Take another one Mr. Chimney!” Mikey shouts, using his nunchakus to throw a nearby car at the beast.
Donnie sighs, taking the opportunity to charge the mutant, bo in hand. He transfigures both ends of the staff into rockets to add momentum to his assault, dodging a flailing tail to deliver an uppercut to the snake head, breaking off one of its fangs.
“Nice job Donnie but I think I might be able to do a little bit better.” Leo jumps onto the beast’s back, straddling it as it bucks and bellows, trying to toss him off. It raises its tail to try and stab him, but he opens a portal behind him to redirect the stinger directly onto the lion’s snout. As the beast writhes in pain, Leo jumps through the air, slicing off the beast’s tail with his katana, landing gracefully next to Raph.
“Ooh, that’s gotta ‘sting’! Get it? Because it’s a scorpion tail?” Raph decides not to entertain his brother’s lame pun and instead gets ready to attack. He really needed something to help him release some stress and punching things typically did the trick.
Before he can strike it, a deathly scream rips itself from the beast’s throat. It rises into the air, shuddering as spikes emerge from its flesh, covering the expanse of its body. Its arms grow twice as large as 3 more tails sprout from the stump where its original used to be. It lands forcefully, cracking the concrete beneath it.
“Was the joke really that bad? Not my best work sure but rea- “Leo is cut off by the beast’s tails slapping him through several walls to his left.
It wastes no time dashing past Raph to his brothers. Donnie tries to summon a shield to protect himself and Mikey but the chimera cuts through it like butter, launching them across the street and crashing into a truck.
And then Raph is back at the Krang invasion. Back to barely being able to protect Donnie and Mikey from falling. Back to almost leaving Leo, alone and afraid in a dark and cold dimension. Back to being helpless as his brother were nearly killed.
And he can't help the rage welling up inside of him. He couldn't help the frustration he felt at his brothers' antics and their refusal to listen to him tonight. He can't help the anger he felt at the beast before him that dared to harm those he loved. And most of all can't help the utter disgust and apathy he has for himself for being too weak and too stupid to protect his brothers.
Malice wells up inside him. It spreads through each muscle, each bone, each cell, into every fiber of his being, coalescing into a single thought, a single call to action. Setting his sights on the chimera, the last thing Raph thinks before his world turns red, is ‘Kill’.