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Back in high school and in college, Reiner had been the most athletic of all his friends. He was the quintessential jock! Star of the football team, shredded abs, a sculpted body...Reiner wasn't one to be arrogant, but he'd been proud of his physique. He went to the gym all the time and kept himself fit.
And then came the injury. After his back was broken in a terrible car accident, it was impossible to move. The back brace limited his movement and exercising the way he did before had become impossible. At first it was a source of agony but over time Reiner got used to the sedentary lifestyle that accompanied being temporarily disabled.
The jock appetite never went away, though. And Bertholdt was always more than willing to fuss over him and get whatever he wanted. At first the weight gain just felt like a temporary thing. A side effect of the immobility caused by his injury. But he kept on and kept on gaining, and by the time he was healed he'd gotten plump to say the least. Hard abs were replaced by a soft tummy and his pecs were replaced with "man boobs" as Gabi called them (much to Reiner's chagrin).
Reiner frowned and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He needed to shave the part of his beard that liked to grow down his neck. But while he was shirtless Reiner took the moment to study his reflection. Nobody would ever think that he had strong muscles buried beneath his soft exterior; he was still able to lift like nobody's business after all his physical therapy.
When he turned around, Reiner saw the rolls on his backside. Rolls that framed his back, forever marred by a huge scar from his back surgery. He'd considered getting a large tattoo to cover it up, but hadn't yet.
Would it get stretched out and ugly if he gained more weight? Reiner wasn't sure.
Ugly. That was a big word. Not one that he liked. Bertholdt assured Reiner every day, without prompting, that he thought Reiner was as handsome as ever. In truth he'd started to wonder if Bertholdt had a thing for chubby guys with the way he acted sometimes. Though he'd gained weight, Reiner wouldn't say he was ugly.
Once he ran the razor blade under the water Reiner slathered shaving cream along his neck to get the hair that grew there. He shaved the hair the same way he always did. Before the car accident that injured him Reiner kept his face clean-shaven. The jawline he had? It was to die for! Now his face was rounded and better suited for the beard.
Well...he might as well go ahead and take a shower while he was in here. After stepping into the bedroom to grab pajamas, Reiner started the water and held a hand out to gauge the temperature before stepping in. Bertholdt was reading a book in the living room, so Reiner took the opportunity to bump up the heat. Bertholdt didn't like scalding-hot showers the way he did.
If there was a silver lining, it was that he could see his penis despite his protruding tummy. Maybe it was a sign of self-consciousness, but if he couldn't see his penis he'd probably freak out and push himself too hard. Not that being fat was a character flaw, but he missed the way he used to be.
In all reality, it wasn't being skinny that Reiner missed. It was being confident. There were plenty of chubby people that oozed confidence! Why couldn't he be one of them?! Instead of letting his mind race too much, Reiner took the opportunity to rub his soap all along his body. Nothing like smelling good and being clean to ease the spirit.
Cleanliness was next to holiness, after all!
"Reiner?" Reiner perked up at the sound of Bertholdt's voice. Oh, god. He hated when Bertholdt needed to use the bathroom while he was in the shower, damn it! "Hey! I didn't know you were going to take a shower and I heard the water running. Mind if I join you?"
"God, I thought you wanted to use the bathroom. I'm not really in the mood for sex, Bertholdt." Reiner said. Bertholdt shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm not either. I just wanted to take a shower with you. Mind if I join?" Reiner nodded and watched Bertholdt strip off all his clothes. "Ooh! God, hot!" Reiner smiled to himself while Bertholdt sucked in a breath and tried to get used to the water.
"Hey, the water's hot." Reiner added once Bertholdt got used to it. Bertholdt lightly punched Reiner's shoulder. He turned around so the two of them were face-to-face. "Hey."
"Hey." Bertholdt said back. He brought a hand up and held Reiner's cheek. So cute. And his beard was so damn soft, probably because he was meticulous in his care for it. "Mmm. I love you. After we get out of the shower I want to go cuddle on the couch."
"We can do that. Did you make anything for dinner or do you want leftovers?" There was a pause, then a sheepish smile from Bertholdt.
"Well...I actually ordered some takeout to be delivered." Reiner was unsure of how to feel. He loved when Bertholdt got him food, but he was feeling more insecure and vulnerable right now. "I got some of that roast beef and gravy you love from Jaeger's because I saw they're delivering now."
Reiner's mouth started watering. He swallowed and wanted to lick his lips. Bertholdt was right, he loved that roast beef and gravy. Bertholdt grabbed the bottle of shampoo and started to lather it into Reiner's hair. The touch was intimate and comforting.
"Thanks, Bertholdt. I appreciate it." Bertholdt hummed and made sure to clean Reiner up. It smelled like soap, so Reiner must've already washed up his body. He grabbed his soap bar and lathered up his body while Reiner put in some hair conditioner.
"Ohh, Reinerrr..." Bertholdt said while he moved to hug Reiner from behind. He gently swayed back-and-forth and rested his head on Reiner's shoulder. "Mmm, I love you."
Unconditional love. It made Reiner's heart stir inside of him. The touch was more than welcome; when it was hard for him to love himself, Bertholdt would be there. Bertholdt's hands ran down Reiner's body and squished into Reiner's soft belly.
"Bertholdt?" Reiner's voice had just enough insecurity in it for Bertholdt to pick up on it. "Do you still think I'm attractive?"
"Attractive? Of course I do." Bertholdt pecked the crook of Reiner's neck, then turned Reiner around so they were facing one another. They both looked silly with their wet hair sticking to their skin, but neither cared. "You're as handsome now as the day I married you."
Reiner gripped Bertholdt's shoulders. When they'd been married he was still athletic and hot. Women used to oogle at him when he went to the gym, but Reiner was confidently able to say he was accounted for. He never got attention from his family, and deep down he liked the attention then.
"You think so? I just worry that...you're less attracted to me because of my weight gain." Bertholdt tilted Reiner's head up so they could lock eyes. "I know you're not shallow, Bert. I didn't mean it like that."
"I'm not worried about that. But I promise, I'm attracted to you. Even if your body is different now, it's still yours and I still love the way you look." Bertholdt hugged Reiner close. Reiner didn't care for Bertholdt's wet chest hair so close to his face, but he'd live.
"You wouldn't think I was ugly even if I got fatter?" There was immense vulnerability in Reiner's voice. Bertholdt tenderly stroked his cheek before leaning in for a kiss to the temple.
"Being fat isn't a bad thing. But no, I wouldn't." Normally this would be the part where Bertholdt played with Reiner's hair, but that wasn't going to work being wet. "I think you're really cute when you're soft. You're like my soft teddy bear and I love the way you feel when you cuddle me. You're so warm and loveable."
"Haha. Teddy bear?" Bertholdt nodded and got out of the water stream so Reiner could rinse out the hair conditioner. Once they were both clean Bertholdt reached down to turn the water off. Both of them grabbed their towels to dry their bodies off before stepping back out of the shower.
"Yes. My teddy bear. But Reiner...I'll love you no matter how you look. Even if you gain a lot more weight, even if you go back to the gym and get more ripped than you ever were before." Reiner pulled on a new pair of boxers but wasn't able to look at himself in the mirror again. It was too steamy to see anything.
"Thanks, Bertholdt. You know I feel the same way about you." Bertholdt's physique hadn't changed much. Always lean and tall, though he grew some body hair as he went through his twenties. And maybe there was a tiny bit of pudge if he wore tight pants. But if it did, Reiner would love him the same.
"Here. Let me go to the bedroom and get some pajamas to change into. I didn't bring anything in." Reiner admired the sight of his nude husband walking to the bedroom. A real-life Adonis.
"I'll meet you in the living room, okay?" Bertholdt gave an affirmative reply while Reiner finished getting dressed.
Maybe his clothes were a little bit bigger than they used to be. Maybe the rock-hard abs he used to be proud of were hiding underneath his tummy fat. Maybe he didn't get stares the way he used to.
But if Bertholdt loved him, did any of that really matter in the end? When the two of them were snuggling after finishing off the takeout Bertholdt ordered, Reiner knew that it didn't.