Chapter Text
Jake scrubbed a hand over his face. “Why don’t you three tell me your names.”
The Arab guy looked over at the black one. “Don’t tell him, Troy.”
“Troy.” Jake wrote that down on his notepad.
“Goddammit, Abed,” the girl said.
Jake wrote that down too. “Abed.”
The black guy stared at her. “Seriously, Annie?”
“And Annie.” Jake looked up from his notepad to see all of them in various stages of grief. “So, do you three want to tell me what you were doing at a known and wanted criminal’s house party?”
Annie crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know! We’re not even from here We live in Colorado. These two” —she jabbed her thumb at the guys— “wanted to go to the Inspector Spacetime convention.”
Jake perked up. “Oh? Inspector Spacetime? I love that show. The British version though because—”
“The American version is just a bastardization of the original,” Abed finished. He dropped his gaze to his lap. “Sorry. I just have strong feelings about that.”
“It’s not your fault that you’re right,” Troy said.
Jake shook his head. “Right, so why were you there?”
Abed shrugged. “I made a friend at the convention and it turned out the afterparty he had planned wasn’t actually an afterparty.”
“I’m actually surprised that hasn’t happened before,” Troy chimed in. “I mean, you’d think it’d be pretty high on the list of stunts we’ve pulled but nope. This is the first time we’ve been tricked into being bodies for criminals to hide behind.”
“You were tricked,” Annie hmphed. “I was trying to tell you that nobody has afterparties for conventions but no. You wouldn’t trust the girl who had to sleep with a gun under her pillow for three years.”
Troy ignored that. “And there was that one time the guy at the other convention tried to kidnap you and force you to be his best friend.”
Abed just shrugged. Jake rubbed his temples. “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt. So you’re telling me that you have absolutely nothing to do with the illegal activities and you’re just three nerds from Colorado who accidentally got roped into it?”
They all nodded. Abed said, “It wouldn’t be the first time. Remember when Chang tried to blow up the school and then faked being an amnesiac to gain all of our trust again.”
Jake blinked at them, jaw falling slightly open. He called over his shoulder, “Rosa, do you have any idea what I’m supposed to do with this?”
“Nope.” Rosa rolled her eyes. “But you better figure it out quick. Kevin is here and you know how Holt gets when he’s around.”
Jake grimaced. “Amy—”
“Hold them until we know for certain that they’re not involved,” Amy answered. “I don’t think this falls under the Strict Liability Act but let’s just be safe and check around before we let them go.”
“So you’re not charging us with anything?” Annie asked.
“Not at the moment, no. If more evidence turns up soon that might change, so you need to stay here for a little while.”
“So we’re not free to go?”
Jake shrugged. “No, I guess not.”
Abed sucked in a breath. “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool.”
Troy rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, buddy, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’ll go home soon, I promise.”
“Is he okay?” Jake asked.
Annie cringed. “Yeah, it’s just a sudden change of plans, and that makes him freak out. Hey, it’ll be okay Abed. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt,” Jake said. He didn’t really know how else to respond to this.
Abed kept the chain going. “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.”
“Cool, cool, cool.”
They went back and forth for a few minutes, not showing any signs of slowing down until Holt opened the door to his office. “Peralta, if I hear the word ‘cool’ come out of your mouth one more time!”
Amy grimaced. “Oh, he gave you the vague threat of disappointment.”
“What? No, come on, it wasn’t just me! He was doing it too!” Jake pointed at Abed, who awkwardly waved.
Holt’s expression didn’t change, meaning he was definitely surprised there was someone else who had the same vocal stim. Kevin appeared behind Holt. “Raymond, can we please finish our conversation? That’s not even the worst that the cools have been.”
“How would you know that?” Holt asked.
“I was in a safe house with him for over a month.” Kevin tugged on his arm. “Please, let it go.”
Holt sighed, finally relenting. Kevin grinned smugly before quickly kissing him and going back into the room. Holt turned to follow, not before shooting the neutral face of displeasure at Jake.
When Jake looked back at the trio of would-be-criminals, he saw that Troy’s mouth had dropped open as he stared at the door to Holt’s office. “You okay, buddy?” Jake asked.
Troy glanced between him, the door, and Abed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Jake knew how to read between the lines, so he figured that A. Troy was not fine at all and B. it was because of what he’d just seen. Normally, that would’ve geared him up for confrontation, but it didn’t seem like the homophobic kind of stare.
It was longing.
Yeah. He knew what was going on. Troy was gay, and, if he was reading it right, in love with the man sitting next to him.
And since Jake had them for a little while, he could definitely get the guy to talk to Holt.