Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Anne woke with a start. Her breaths came uneven and her chest hurt, hands gripping the covers like they were the only thing keeping her tethered to the ground.

The room she found herself in was unfamiliar at best. She wasn't on a bed, rather a bunch of sheets barely covering the hard ground. A strong earthy smell stung her nostrils with every inhale. But most importantly, it was pitch black and soul crushingly silent. There were no windows on the walls, no signs of the obnoxious noise the bugs at home would make, none of the crawling and creeping and dripping she'd grown used to in the basement.

Nothing but her own breaths to mask the silence.

She was stuck in place. She could move, but she didn't want to, in fear it'd set something off - maybe this was just a nightmare.

Then, a rustle beside her, and it all came rushing back.

The rebellion. Sasha. Everyone was underground, as safe as they could be.

Well. Not everyone.

Bright orange stuck to the back of her eyelids when she squeezed her eyes shut - the smell of smoke filled her nostrils and refused to leave even as she breathed through her mouth.

She gasped, hands pressed to her chest and stomach to smother the sting of anxiety.

"Anne?"
"Go back to sleep." She wheezed.
"Mhm." Sasha tugged on her shorts "Come here."
Anne chuckled. It came out winded and broken. "I'm already here."
He dragged himself up and hugged Anne's side, leaning heavily on her.

"You ok?" His voice was rough with sleep, but concern still dripped from his tone.
She opened her mouth to say "yes" - only to choke on her own saliva and let out a miserable cough and a sob. When did she start crying?

Sasha shifted against her, rising to rest his forehead to her neck. "Y'r freezing." He mumbled.

"Oh"

While she was hardly aware of being cold, Anne didn't complain when Sasha guided her to lay back down and draped himself over her like a weighted blanket. She burrowed into his warmth, pushing her head into the crook of his neck, both uncaring of the way her tears soaked Sasha's skin and shirt.

Her mind repeated "Marcy's alive, Marcy's alive, Marcy's alive" like a broken record with every choked inhale of smoke.

"I can't breathe" she sobbed, hanging onto Sasha's shirt.

"Sure you can" he answered. "Can't you smell me?"

She shook her head, "can't" she murmured, tried to sniff at his hair, only getting the faintest whiff of sweat and stagnant water.

"C'mon" he said, "follow my breathing". She could feel his chest move agaist hers, slow, deliberate.

She wasn't sure how long they spent laying like that, but it was long enough that her breaths evened out to match his, while the ice in her muscles thawed away. The smoke was gone, every breath just reeked of Sasha.

"You stink" she rasped out, rubbing her nose against his neck all the same.

"Yeah. You'll be joining me soon."

Anne managed the strength for a small smile. "Won't be as bad as you. Dry cleaning is a thing, you know."

"I'm pretty sure that's just for clothes," Sasha mumbled, "but maybe you could teach me." his grin was audible.
Anne pushed him away playfully, muttering an exasperated "You wish".
He slid off of her, but didn't go far. His leg was still locked in between both of hers, arm on her stomach.

"Good?" Sasha asked after a while.

Anne nodded against his shoulder. Her tears had dried by now. One of her hands found Sasha's at some point, and they still hadn't let go.

"Talk to me" He said, touching his forehead to hers. She held his hand tighter.

"I can't stop thinking about it"

Sasha sighed. They didn't even need to say it - they both knew exactly what she meant. "Me too."

"I miss them"

"We'll get them back. Soon." He cupped her cheek with his hand, drawing her eyes back to him. "I promise"

Anne shook her head. "I know, I know, I just-" her lip wobbled "I mean, we've seen some horrible stuff here but I never thought-" she exhaled, grabbing a fistful of the front of Sasha's shirt "How could he do that?" She asked, voice broken and eyes searching, begging his for an answer.

His own resolve seemed to break in that moment. "I don't know" he murmured.

Anne sobbed, a cry ripped from her throat. Sasha shushed her, held her against his chest, ran his hand through her hair. She was inconsolable.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, but it didn't make it through her sobs.

Eventually, she fell asleep.

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Sasha woke before Anne did, having found a rhythm even in the absence of outside cues. He gently detangled their limbs and got up to light a few candles - Anne had the presence of mind to bring a lighter - debating whether he should wake her.

He sat next to her, stalling for time. Anne could use the rest. She came back to Amphibia with eyebags too dark and a constant tension to her shoulders - even now, sleeping, she looked troubled. Her brows were furrowed, hands closed in fists around the covers, her jaw was visibly clenched. Sasha ghosted a hand over hers, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

He didn't know how to help her, how to make it better. They were both missing a piece that they couldn't ignore, they both witnessed something that they would never be able to forget. Sasha had managed to push down the pain, to hang onto the knowledge that that bastard actually wanted Marcy alive, that his had just been a desperate, poorly thought out move to keep them from leaving, as disgusting as it was. He turned it all to anger.

But Anne hadn't known any of it, she probably spent the last months believing Marcy was gone for good, and, judging from last night, not allowing herself to grieve.

He sighed as he looked over to Anne's schoolbag, hastily thrown across the room. The edge of Marcy's journal poked out of the open flap.

They needed to talk.

Chapter Text

"Marcy's alive."

"You told me that" Anne said, a sweet smile on her lips, but Sasha noticed how her shoulders tensed at his words.

"Sit." He patted the sheets next to him. Anne complied, though she was clearly nervous.

"Dude, stop looking at me like that. I know I kinda freaked last night, but I swear, I'm fine now."

"Did you tell your parents?"

"Why does it sound like you're trying to therapise me?" She chuckled, looking away.

"Anne." He repeated, stressing the sillables.

"No." She muttered. "I didn't- I didn't exactly get into the details."

"Did you...tell them about us? About toad tower, and Newtopia-"

"No."

Sasha frowned. Now that was concerning.

"So you spent two months dealing with everything on your own-"

"I had the Plantars" She said, hands holding her own arms.

"Right, and you talked to them instead?"

Her nuckles paled as her grip tightened. Sasha pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, shit- let's try this again. I just-"

"I'm fine." Anne repeated.

Sasha swallowed down the burning in his chest. He didn't push it.

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"I meant to tell them, but- it never felt like the right time." Anne broke their silence with her admission, eyes focused on her arm, which had gotten scratched up pretty badly earlier in training.
"I don't know. They never asked."

Sasha held it up as he dabbed at it with a washcloth. "I'm sure they had questions." He said as Anne hissed in pain. "They were probably afraid of hurting you"

"Maybe." Anne conceded. "It's just, I never kept secrets from them. And now there's- way too much. It feels wrong. Like I'm lying."

Sasha didn't get it. He never wished to tell his parents the truth, especially if it was bad. He'd lost count of the secrets he was keeping from them, and probably forgot some of them, too.

Anne's parents were actually nice, they loved her - she never had to worry about being kicked out of the house or being denied a meal over a disagreement.

Sure, they grounded her plenty, but they never hurt her. He'd seen it firsthand. They all sat and talked during dinner, like they do in movies, and actually listened to each other.

"Did you lie?" They started whispering at some point. Sasha hardly noticed.

"No. Yes?" He raised an eyebrow at her. Anne took the hint to elaborate. He started wrapping her arm. "I wrote letters to your parents, for Christmas. Said you both were okay, that you'd be home soon." She said, twirling her curls with her free hand. She took a deep breath, lip quivering. "I couldn't tell them their kid died, Sash."

"We didn't." Sasha reassured immediately. "We're okay. We- we'll be okay"

"I didn't know that!" She whisper-yelled at him, and tears were starting to fill her eyes.

"Yeah. You didn't."

Anne covered her face with a hand, leaning into him. Sasha merely put an arm around her shoulders, murmuring meaningless words in her ear to comfort her.

He wondered what it must be like, having parents who actually cared. To trust them enough to want to tell them anything, without even needing to be asked.

Maybe he did get the appeal. Just a little.

"Hey, hear me out. When all of this is over, and we get back home, we'll talk to your parents. All of us, together."

And maybe it was egotistical, on his part. Maybe he just wanted some of that love and care and fussing directed at himself, rather than Anne. But she wiped her cheeks and nodded, showing no such qualms. "You can tell them about how I gave you this cool scar." Her hand reached out to graze a thumb against it.

Maybe there was enough love to go around for all of them.

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Sasha and Anne lied in their cot - Sasha's, that is, since Anne refused to sleep in her own - both tuckered out from the long day. He hurt down to his bones - the cold, hard ground barely did anything to soothe him.

"How do you know that they're alive?" Anne wasn't facing him, so her weak voice came to his ears in choppy bits.

"What?"

Anne hesitated for a moment, then turned around and spoke again. "How do you know that they're alive?"

There it was.

Sasha thought maybe he needed to choose his words carefully, lest he scare her off the topic. Then he thought he trusted her enough to be able to deal with the bare-boned truth.

"I heard Andrias say to take'em to a rejuvenation tank."

"What's...that?"

"Grime said it's a contraption to 'lenghthen one's lifespan'. Heals injuries and illnesses and all that." His face contracted in a grimace as he repeated Grime's words. "Apparently it was meant for the royal army."

Marcy would have probably said something about amphibian technology being both ridiculously over-developed - that is, war technology - and downright rudimental.

But it was just the two of them, so no one commented on that.

A few beats of silence passed.

"And you're absolutely sure?"

"Yes. We are."

Anne stared into his eyes. From the way she held herself, body tense and face pinched, she looked as if she were in pain.

Sasha's blood suddenly ran cold. "You don't believe me."

"I do" Anne's voice wavered.

"Anne, I wouldn't-"

"I know, I do, but it's so hard after-" A shakey sigh escaped her lips. "While I was on Earth, I thought that...maybe, you know, they were fine. There's no way- there's no way I lost one of my best friends at thirteen years old in another fucking world. How does that even happen?" She chuckled humourlessly, bringing up her hands to bury in her hair. "I mean, that's crazy!"

Sasha shuffled closer to her.

"I didn't know whether you got out of the castle before Andrias could get to you, too. What if-" Anne broke off, shaking her head. "Right when we got home, Sprig asked about Marcy. I shut him down. Told him they had to be alive. We never mentioned them again.
"I think at some point, I just resigned to the idea that I wouldn't see them again. That I wouldn't see you again. But then-" she smiled weakly, and Sasha relished in the way her eyes crinkled a little at the edges. "Look at you now. You're- You're doing great."

"You think?"

Anne didn't shove him away, like she usually would. She was too exhausted for that, and she looked the part, too. Her smile fell. "You're right. I didn't talk to anyone."

"It's okay. I get it."

"Did you?"

"I had Grime."

Anne didn't prod further.

"I don't know. I think I hoped they'd ask, at some point. Or that your parents would, like, show up, or-or call, or something"

Sasha hummed, but the rough edge in it almost made it sound like a growl. Anne backed away from him slightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you"

"Not your fault." Sasha exhaled, consciously relaxing his muscles one by one. Anne settled back down into his arms, but they both were too tired to keep talking.

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Sasha was angry.

Scratch that, he was furious.

He'd been snapping at everyone all day. It got to the point where Grime sent him to his room to "cool off", but all that did was make him angrier. He could've sworn he felt his blood boiling. His hands were burning, shaking with the need to just do something.

The worst part was, he didn't know why.

He hated feeling this way. Like a trapped animal, pacing back and forth, ready to pounce and kick and punch until the fire in his chest went away.

Anne walked in on him and he almost yelled at her.

"Sash?"

"I need some air." Cold sweat forming on his forehead, he grabbed his swords and fur coat and stomped past Anne, who hurried to keep up with him.

He climbed all the way up to the light, coming out of the Plantar's house and in the ruins of Wartwood. Sasha didn't stop to look around. He went straight for the forest.

His thoughts were too chaotic and loud to keep up with. Something about Andrias and Marcy and the box and those stupid stones, about his parents and Anne's and Grime and his dumb caring.

"Sash, we've been walking for a while. Is it- did you want to-"

He plunged his swords into a thick tree trunk, attempting to slice it apart. When that didn't work, he took to cutting off branches. The soft thud they made as they hit the ground was underwhelming.

He found himself blabbering, not fully aware of what he was saying.

"I fucking hate Andrias"

"That makes two of us" Anne responded, but Sasha didn't hear her.

"He's such an imbecile, I bet he didn't know he was going to do it either- and he definitely didn't think it through, if he was going to keep them alive anyways-"

"Don't talk about them like that, like they're some- thing for him to use!"

"-and now God knows what the fuck he's doing to them-" Multiple pebbles went skidding across the ground as he speed-walked and slashed at the trees around him. "-and what's worse is, who's to say he isn't some sadistic fuck who'd-"

"Sasha!"

That broke him out of his haze. He turned to Anne, shoulders heaving big breaths, only distantly aware of the ache in arms.

"Fuck" He let his swords fall with a clatter, running his hands through his hair. He fell back on his haunches on the ground.

Anne sat next to him. "Start from the top?"

Sasha took a deep breath. His ribs hurt with every inhale. "I'm angry." he kicked at the ground as he talked, dispersing the last bits of his destructive energy.
"I hate Andrias." He said, through gritted teeth. "I hate what he did to Marcy, and I'm fucking angry at Marcy for taking us here, for-" but he hardly meant it. The box shouldn't have worked, his head shouted back at him. By all means, it just shouldn't have. This was all some horrible twist of fate. Something told him that, regardless of what they did, they would've ended up here. "I hate all of this."

They fell quiet. Then, Sasha spoke again. "I hate Grime."

"What'd Grime do?"

"He acts like he's my fucking dad."

"I mean-"

"And it's not that I don't want him to." Sasha picked a few leaves off of his hair, busying himself to avoid thinking too much about what he was saying. "I'm angry at myself, because I don't know how to let him." He admitted, for the first time, to Anne and himself.

"Oh." Anne said. "You got an adoptive frog family, too"

Sasha snorted at the absurdity of her statement. He ignored the strain in his chest at the movement. "What?"

"Yeah. Like I got the Plantars. You know. You'll get used to it, it just- takes some time."

"Right."

"I'm sure he understands. Besides, he doesn't seem like the type of guy who can't handle a bit of teenage angst. You're doing fine, Sash."

"Yeah. Yeah, no, you're- you're probably right."

"But, uhm. About Marcy-"

"I didn't really mean that." Sasha mumbled. "I just hate that it turned out like this. I think, in some way, it was always going to happen."

Anne sighed, big and heavy. "Yeah. Me too."

Sasha spared a glance at her. "Do you think your parents will ask, when we get back?"

"I don't know. But we'll tell them anyways."

Sasha nodded, swallowed. His throat was scratchy and dry. "Do you think mine will?"

"I... don't know, Sasha. Do you?"

"No. Even if they will, they won't listen."

"So then we'll listen. My parents, and Marcy and I."

Sasha blinked a few times. Looked away again. The sun was setting.

"I'm angry that I didn't stop him."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know." Sasha knew there was no use wallowing in what could've been. There had been times, before Anne came, when he wished it had been him - but this reality was what they had to deal with. "I want him dead." He spat. "Fuckin'-" he squeezed his eyes shut and growled. "Don't know what to do with all of this. I feel like I'm always one second away from losing it."

"We're too young for this."

"No shit."

"You should take more breaks. Let me and Grime do some more of the heavy lifting."

Sasha chuckled. "God knows that turned out well, last time you took the lead."

"Yeah, that's why I also mentioned Grime. And hey. It'll be over soon. For better or for worse."

"Yeah. Soon."