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“Okay, tough guy. Let’s hear it.”
Deputy Shoupe took a fresh pot of coffee over to the bench where JJ sat slouched with his hands in his hair, and poured the steaming beverage into a mug.
“Thanks,” JJ whispered, grateful for something warm when his hands felt so cold. He grabbed the drink. The hot liquid burned his lips and tongue but it was nothing compared to the pain in his knees.
“Well? Anything to say for yourself this time?”
JJ chewed his bottom lip. What does one say when they were caught red-handed, sneaking onto private property and goofing around? It was just a bit of fun, lighten up, Officer. JJ had more common sense than that. He was, after all, what his cousin Ricky called “street smart.” “I never meant to break anything…” he tried with an easy smile and a simple shrug. Playing it cool might get him off the hook with a warning. It’s happened before. No reason it couldn’t happen again.
“The real estate developer is pressing charges.” Shoupe informed him, stomping that hope right out of him.
Guess his luck was win the lottery type of luck today, only reversed.
He was becoming a frequent member of holding cell number three in the Kildare County Police Department. Only, he always got out on a warning or a call home. This time, if charges were being pressed, then he might end up in Juvie on the mainland.
JJ stared up at the man in uniform, a question on his lips. He didn’t quite know how to ask without sounding worried. Shoupe seemed to understand though, thankfully.
“We called your father. He didn’t answer.” No surprise there. Dad was the after dinner, pass out on my couch type of guy. And when he had been drinking, he could sleep through a stampede. JJ let out a sigh of relief willing his shaking hands to settle with the good news. If Shoupe called his Dad then that meant he wasn’t headed to Juvie. “For now, you’re gonna be spending some time in your favorite cell.”
Begrudgingly, JJ slipped off of the bench and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Might as well get it over with then.”
Shoupe eyed him with something close to fatherly annoyance, and took his bicep.
When he got a glimpse of his cellmate, a grin spread across his face like peanut butter.
“No way.”
There on the floor, with this head against the wall, one knee bent towards his chest, the other outstretched on the cement was Rafe Cameron. A Kook. A Cameron in the flesh. It was like meeting royalty. Or a royal asshole. Either one.
“Hey man,” JJ said, mockingly, “What happened to you? Kook party get busted? Public indecency? Disturbing the peace with that pretty prepubescent face of yours?”
“JJ.” His name was drawn out, voice all cool and collected, “Why don’t you shut the hell up?”
Oh man, JJ was going to have so much fun with this.
“Why don’t you make me?”
Rafe pushed himself to his feet.
“That’s it,” JJ coaxed, propping one shoulder against the bars, “Come on. Show me what you got.”
Rafe rolled his eyes and moved closer to the bars. He was just a few inches from JJ’s face.
For someone in a holding cell, he was surprisingly well groomed, which really shouldn’t be a surprise considering he was a Kook. But his aftershave had a nice smell compared to the typical aroma of cigarettes and vomit lingering in here. He had the faintest amount of cologne dangling off his caramel jacket like the trust fund brat he was.
“Are you sure you want to be goading me right now?” Rafe smirked, “cause it looks like you’re gonna be spending some time in here with me, so I wouldn’t recommend it if I were you.”
As if on cue, Shoupe found the correct key and pulled it out of his pocket. A wicked, dangerous smile crossed Rafe’s features and JJ went cold. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to make fun of a caged Kook.
JJ turned to Shoupe, eyes wild and frantic.
“You’re not actually gonna put me in here with him are you!? He threatened me. Are you gonna just let that happen?”
Shoupe pushed him assertively inside.
“There’s another cell right over there,” JJ shouted, pointed down the hall to several empty cells. Hardly anyone else was around. There was no reason he needed to be trapped with Rafe mother fucking Cameron.
“Maybe having a new cellmate will keep you from coming back.”
That son of a bitch. If he was purposely putting JJ in a cell with Rafe to teach him a lesson then he was about to be sorry.
Rafe snorted. “Oh, he’ll be back,” he said so sincerely it made JJ want kick his teeth in, “It’s in his blood.”
“Just try and behave yourselves,” Shoupe warned, eyeing Rafe as he twisted the key in the lock. “Both of you.”
JJ couldn’t believe his luck. He sat down on the squeaky bed, and ran a hand through his blonde hair thinking about how the hell this stuff only happened to him. JJ’s luck, man.
He bounced his leg impatiently. Tentatively touched his cheek where the bruise would form. His skin was so soft right now. No scabs or tender marks. What a shame his healing streak was coming to an end. Dad would pound the snot out of him for this.
“Can you sit still!” Rafe barked out, viciously.
“You’re making me nervous.” Rafe muttered like an afterthought to his pervious command. And what the hell did he just say?
JJ sat up straight and stared at the boy sitting on the bed across from him.
“I’m making you nervous?” JJ raised an eyebrow, “Me?” He pointed to his chest. Was this a joke? Did Rafe forget that he practically threatened him like two seconds ago? Did he forget he had a reputation of beating the living shit out of every Pogue on the island?
“Just — relax.” Rafe said, eyeing JJ up and down. He took in the balled-up fists and the scuffed hems of his cargo shorts, the bloody knees, “You’re like freaking out for no good reason.”
His expression was as blank as ever. But there was something going on inside his mind. JJ could see him thinking. The wheels were spinning and that was a scary thought. Because what if Rafe Cameron figured out why JJ was so freaked out? He shuttered at the idea. The jackass would probably tease him relentlessly about it for the rest of his life. Or worse. Much much worse.
“I am relaxed,” JJ said too quickly. His mouth twitched, the start of a mean smile coming on, “I’m just trying to figure out if you’d look better in an orange jumpsuits or black and white stripes.”
“Man,” Rafe chuckled, dryly, “You just love to hear yourself talk, don’t you?”
JJ made a wry dismissive noise from the back of his throat through his teeth, face turned away, “I can do more than talk. Why don’t you come on over here and find out.”
Rafe didn’t take the bait.
“No thanks,” he said, the corners of his mouth twitching like he found JJ’s threat amusing. “So Pogue. What are you doing here? Rob any convenient stores lately?”
“It’s like I told Shoupe, I wasn’t trespassing, I was examining the property.”
Rafe snorted, “Trespassing, huh?”
“Mm hmm,” he hummed, “and then some filthy rich bitch in Kooktopia called the cops.”
“Oh that’s golden. You pogues are all the same, you know that? Stealing, trespassing, destroying our property. And then you make up some story about it like you’re the victims.”
JJ stuffed his hands in his shorts pockets and slouched back on the bed.
“I could say the same thing about you Kooks. Flying around on Daddy’s money, beating on kids smaller than you, poorer than you, and then getting away with it because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Must be nice.”
“Hey, say what you want about me, but most of the people on figure eight work their asses off to get the money they have, and I don’t appreciate you stealing or vandalizing the stuff they worked hard to get. It’s not fair.”
“Not fair?” JJ shook his head, showing some teeth, “You wanna know what ‘not fair’ is, Rafe? It’s working your ass off at three shitty jobs and then not making a damn dime to show for it. Because my Dad isn’t rich and he didn’t get a college degree so —“
“— so you steal things from people that do have a degree. The people that worked for their money? That’s great. Totally okay, man.”
“Well you Kooks have so much. I think you can afford to give us a little, don’t you?”
“And some people do,” Rafe countered without missing a beat, “but that’s their choice. You can’t just take whatever you want man.”
“Why the hell not? Everyone’s already got their minds made up about me anyway! I’m going to end up in jail anyways. You said it yourself, Rafe. You said, I’ll be back here someday. And you’re right. So I might as well start now.”
By the end of his speech, JJ was practically panting. That was a lot. He didn’t mean for it to come out quite like that and for Rafe Cameron of all people to hear. Ending up in jail… ending up like his old man… that was an insecurity JJ had going back for decades. But he hadn’t even told John B about this yet. It was a real deep personal thing he kept to himself. Except now the words were out in the open, floating in the air and he couldn’t suck them back in between his teeth. Couldn’t swallow them back down his throat where they belonged. He had to hope Rafe was suddenly deaf in both ears. It was his only chance.
It didn’t look like he was. “You… do illegal shit on purpose? Because you think everyone expects you to?” JJ twisted his head towards the doors of the station.
“That’s just stupid,” and if JJ had a dime for every time someone called him stupid he’d be so freaking rich. “Why not prove them wrong? I’m sure you could do it. Colleges take kids on scholarships all the time, and there’s financial aid, and loans and —“
“You don’t know me,” JJ cut him off, immediately before this could turn into a pity speech for the poor little Pogue.
“I’m just saying. Why give in? They tell you you’re gonna end up in jail and you say, okay. Yeah. Let me rob this bank so I can be exactly like the person people told me I should be.” Rafe scrunched his face. “… just doesn’t sound like you.”
JJ blinked, confused as hell as to why Rafe was saying all of this.
“I mean, I always thought you were the type of person that wanted to rebel against what other people tell you to do.“
“Again, you don’t know me, Rafe, and you don’t know this town, or what it’s like to live on the cut.”
So stop telling me I have a chance.
Only he didn’t say that.
“So shut the hell up.” he said instead.
“I know you,” Rafe muttered, casually flicking a piece of string off his jeans and onto the floor.
JJ laughed at that — a sharp, bitter, sound.
“Something you want to say, pogue?”
The humor faded from his eyes, “Yeah. Don’t you dare say you know me again or I swear —“
“Oh fuck off, JJ. It’s a shoebox, this island. I knew you since you were four.”
“You don’t know anything about me, or what I have to go through. So st-“
The door to the police station opened and JJ’s words got caught in his throat, tangled and sloppy. He coughed. Chest tight, seizing with sudden terror.
It turned out it wasn’t his Dad entering after all. Just some cop.
JJ felt his face heat knowing Rafe was staring at him. His reaction was rather embarrassing. Maybe he could pretend he had choked on some dust.
“Did you skin your knees running away from the cops?” Rafe asked out of the blue.
JJ cocked an eyebrow, looked down at his knees and nodded slowly. He didn’t feel like that question deserved a verbal response. But then an awkward silence descended over them, and JJ felt uncomfortable underneath the blazing blue eyes. Something verbal needed to be said.
“Would you stop staring at me.”
“I’m waiting for you to finish your threat,” Rafe rolled his index finger in circles, “Something about how I don’t know what you have to go through, so I should just…” he rolled his index finger one more time like finish the sentence already.
The door the police station opened for a second time, and JJ flinched hard, hating himself for it. Another false alarm too. This time it was a woman with platinum blonde hair, in high heels, entering the station. She flipped her hair behind her shoulders and began talking to Shoupe in a demanding tone.
“You’re worried about something,” Rafe noted, softly, “Worried about someone coming to the station.”
JJ felt his face turn hot. He had already let one insecurity slip today. He wasn’t about to let another one go.
“I’m not worried about anything, go to hell bro.” JJ attempted a calm voice but his fists were clenching into a tighter ball and he was trembling.
“You’re a shit liar.” Rafe commented, off-handedly. He opened his mouth to say something further but the blonde woman’s voice caught his attention and Rafe clammed up.
“Thank you Officer,” the woman said to Shoupe, squeezing his arm almost flirtatiously as she made her way towards the cell. “Oh shit,” Rafe muttered to no one in particular, standing up.
“Rose,” he greeted, casually.
“Sit down, Rafe. I’m not ready to get you out just yet. I’ve had an awful night, and you just made everything worse.”
JJ eyebrows shot up at this sudden unexpected turn of events. What a sight to see. Someone scolding the Kook. This wasalmost worth getting caught for. A Kook getting laid into. Wow.
“Honest to God,” the woman, Rose, continued, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“It’s early signs of condition called ‘I don’t give a fuck.’ Look it up.” Rafe snapped, plopping back down on the bed.
An actual gasp escaped Rose’s mouth and JJ couldn’t suppress his laugh. Rose scrunched her nose, “God, you reek of alcohol. No wonder the cops pulled you over.”
JJ wrinkled his nose too, and nope. He couldn’t smell anything other than aftershave and cologne. Rich boy didn’t even look like he had been drinking. And JJ would know. He had seen himself in the mirror enough times to know what that looks like. He had seen his father enough times to know what drunk looked like.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t driving so it shouldn’t matter.”
“Shut up, Rafe. I honestly don’t want to hear it. When we get home, you’re father will deal with you. And he told me it’s not going to be a simple grounding this time, just so you know,” she said. Somehow the smile on her face reminded JJ of a wicked witch. It was devilish. Rafe glared daggers at her. “But right now, I have to make sure Shoupe doesn’t publish our family’s name in the newspaper and —”
“You mean my family’s name!”
“— file a police report on some kid who destroyed the Mae’s house. So if you’ll excuse me…”
“Hey, go right ahead! At least you have your priorities figured out,” Rafe screamed at her as she spun on her heel.
When she was far enough away, he muttered a soft, “bitch” under his breath and slapped his hand against the bars irritability. It wasn’t the clanging noise itself that caused JJ to flinch but more like the velocity behind it. The unpredictable lash of anger. It was something JJ had witnessed a million times with Dad.
If he thought the silence was uncomfortable before, it was off the charts now. JJ bounced his knee again, watching the back of Rafe’s head.
The kid from figure eight was running a hand through his hair repeatedly.
JJ knew those tight uncontrolled mannerisms. He had felt them before. When his chest would ache, and his mind would race, and JJ wouldn’t know what to do with all the anger he felt so he would growl and pace and punch a wall or grip something so tightly his knuckles would turn white.
Rafe looked like he was on the edge of growling and pacing too. He kept running that hand through his hair, pushing it back and back and back. He was groaning a couple of times, trying to bite back the growl. Trying to keep it together — maybe for JJ sake, maybe for his own appearance purposes. But this time, JJ could see right through him.
the compulsive habit of running a hand through his hair turned into tugging at the strands on his head. JJ knew the feeling. He liked to clutch his chest and fiddle with the rings on his fingers. It helped somehow, in the smallest of ways. But the only thing that truly helped was when he talked to John B or Pope or Kiara and got his mind off of whatever was bugging him. Sometimes he had to talk it through with them before he got any relief. Maybe Rafe needed that too.
“Rafe, chill.”
When Rafe finally met JJ’s eyes again, they were not kind, but they were not mean either. He blinked slowly.
That made things heavy. Uncomfortable. He opened his mouth to say something, wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say, something along the lines of ‘I’ve been there too, don’t worry, but Rafe silenced him with a glare.
“Don’t you dare look at me like that,” he said, firmly.
“Like what?”
“I don’t need sympathy from a kid who lives in a little shack in the woods,” Rafe growled, trying to take a low blow. A similar tactic JJ had used on every freaking adult in Kildare island before to get them off his back.
“I’d happily get out of your way, Rafe. But you know I can’t go anywhere until my Dad picks me up, and since we’re stuck here, why don’t you just relax.” He couldn’t resist throwing that one back at the boy’s face.
Rafe bit down on his bottom lip.
“What about your Mom? Can’t you call her to pick you up?”
If it weren’t for the softness in Rafe’s voice, JJ would have sworn he was fucking with him.
“No.”
Shouldn’t have have known that JJ’s Mom wasn’t around anymore.
“Oh.” Rafe sniffed. His caramel jacket had the collar turned up, polo underneath, yet in that moment he didn’t look that much different to JJ. Less like a Kook. More like a person in Kook clothes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was gone for good. I thought - well - she used to leave and come back.”
“It’s okay, yeah. Just me and my Dad now,” JJ said, a too tight smile pulling at his cheeks. He hoped Rafe wouldn’t say anything else about him Mom or Dad. He wasn’t sure how much of that he could take.
“My Mom’s not — she’s not in the picture either.” Rafe said, throwing JJ a curve ball for the hundredth time that day.
The door jingled opened and JJ lunched forward all of a sudden, leaning over the bed and clutching a hand over his heart. He was too afraid to look at who walked in because he knew it had to be his Dad.
“It’s not him,” Rafe muttered, “Just another cop.”
“I’m not worried about my Dad okay?” JJ cleared his throat of the high pitched squeak, “I’m completely relaxed.”
Rafe wavered on his feet, nodded, not believing him for a second.
“Can’t you call one of your many friends to come bail you out?”
JJ stared back at him, blew out a short breath. If only it were that simple.
“I want to be someone else’s problem, you know? Pope’s parents are kinda strict and so are Kie’s. John B’s Dad is the only person I can really… and even then… if I ask him to help too much he might not… help…anymore.”
Rafe, trying to decipher something out of that word vomit, hissed, “I’m sure someone else on the cut wouldn’t mind helping you. They all love you, don’t they?”
He froze after he said it, and JJ did too.
“Is that what you think? That everyone on the cut loves me?” JJ pressed a fist to his mouth, containing his laughter, “Oh Rafe.”
“Forget it,” Rafe’s voice went steely.
“Rafe, bro, I told you everyone thinks I’m going to end up in jail. No one gives a shit about me. You should know, I mean you point that out everyday.”
“Only because I know it’s not true. Obviously people give a shit about you.”
“Yeah, okay. So my friends care about me,” JJ shrugged, “They’re like my family. But their parents don’t care about me. They think I’m trash. You have an actual family and you have like a bazillion friends.”
Rafe raised his eyebrows at JJ, “Is that what you think? That I have a ton of friends?”
JJ nodded cautiously, worried that Rafe’s words might be a trap.
“JJ, if I had friends, why would I be getting shit-faced to take my mind off of stuff. Huh? Why wouldn’t I just hang out with my friends to get my mind off of it. Answer me that?”
“Uh. Cause you’re an idiot?”
A faint smile creeped ever so softly across Rafe’s face.
“No. I just don’t have what you have. That tight little group of friends — a family? Is that what you called them? Yeah. That must be nice.”
JJ squinted his eyes, trying to digest what Rafe just said.
“Dude, you know like half the people on figure eight want to be your friend, right? People like you.”
“Yeah, sure. They like me cause I’m rich. They like hanging out with me cause I can buy them things, and get them drugs, and provide them a pool to hang out in. I’m Rafe Cameron, country club, party city…until the party’s over. Then what am I?”
JJ blew out a long, terse sigh, “I’m weeping for you, bro.”
“Man, trust me, it sucks a whole lot worse not knowing if someone likes you for who you are or if they only like you for your money. At least you know you have real friends.”
Furiously gnawing at his lip, JJ avoided meeting Rafe’s eyes.
“My point is, you can call one of your friends to come pick you up. I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“There you go again,” JJ huffed, “thinking you know everything about me and my friends.”
“Yeah well. Why don’t you just call them.”
“Why do you want me to?”
“You deserve to get out. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Oh yeah, right. When a Kook was itching for JJ to be released from jail there was obviously an ulterior motive.
JJ shook his head, “Why do you want me gone so bad? This whole time you’ve been saying I’m scared of something. What are you scared of Rafe?”
“Nothing. I just think you should — fuck, I don’t know — advocate for yourself?”
“Is it Rose? You don’t want me to overhear her yell at you? Is that it?”
“Why won’t you ask your friends for help?”
“It clearly bothered you earlier, when Rose was here.”
“I just don’t get you.”
“That’s right, rich boy. You don’t.”
“It’s like you want to be here. Like you think you belong in jail.”
“Does it have something to do with Rose’s sorority sisters?”
“You won’t ask for help because you think you belong in jail. Wow. You ready to give up and become your father already, JJ? I thought you had more of a fight left in you than that.”
JJ was out of his seat in a flash, fists trembling at his sides.
“Do you wanna see how much fight I have left in me, bro?” he shouted, face turning red, “Come over here and see.”
“Touchy,” Rafe noted. His posture was relaxed, the complete opposite of JJ’s and that set JJ on fire.
“Don’t talk about my father, or me, or my friends. You don’t know shit about us.” JJ yelled, aware that his voice was growing a little more hoarse with each word.
Rafe crossed his arms over his chest.
“I know your Dad buys cocaine every two weeks. I know he got fired from his job. I know you flinch every time that door opens. So I’m going to ask you again. Why the hell won’t you call one of your friends if you’re that scared of him?”
“I already told you,” JJ shuffled forward, lining himself up with Rafe’s face, ready to sucker punch him so hard he’ll fall backwards, “I don’t want to risk them saying no. That hurts worse — worse m than not knowing if someone likes you for you.”
Finally things went silent, quieted by the weight of shared fear being lifted. They stood there, comfortable — though they shouldn’t be comfortable with each other. Wouldn’t be by tomorrow, JJ reminded himself. But Rafe nodded at him, understandingly so, and for a moment everything JJ thought mattered didn’t seem to matter anymore. Kooks, Pogues, friends, enemies. The lines seemed to blur right then into something deeper.
“Rafe,”A voice boomed, startling JJ out of his thoughts. “It’s time to go.”
Rafe turned towards the voice then back towards JJ, a strange look on his face.
“You were trespassing, right? That’s all?” Rafe asked for the millionth time. JJ nodded, wondering where this was going while Shoupe stopped at their cell and fiddled around for the keys.
“Where?”
“Huh?”
“Where were you trespassing? Give me a house number, a name, a street. Come on.” Rafe snapped his fingers, “Hurry up, think.” But JJ couldn’t remember. He was just hanging out with John B somewhere on figure eight, checking out one of the new houses that was in the middle of being developed. It didn’t have a number. He didn’t know what street.
“Let’s go son,” Shoupe said, holding the cell open.
“JJ.”
“I don’t know! It was one of those houses in development.”
Rafe froze for the second time that day. “Cameron development?” he let out the smallest huff of a laugh.
“I still don’t know what the hell were you thinkin’” Rose snarled, approaching the cell. The comfy, very safe, very nice cell that JJ would happily stay in for the rest of the night if it meant his Dad wouldn’t show.
Shoupe stepped inside and grabbed Rafe’s arm. Rafe didn’t struggle, in fact he willingly left, moving towards his step mother at a rather quick pace.
“I need you to drop the charges you just filed.”
Rose lifted her sunglasses on top of her head, “Are you out of your mind? There was damage done to the property, Rafe. Whoever trespassed deserves the fullest extent of the law. I’m talking fines, community service, probation, restitution!” She turned to Shoupe, “Can you do all that?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Rose, drop the charges now!” Rafe shouted, and the cell door swung shut.
“Absolutely not.”
JJ put a hand to his head. Restitution! Oh God. He was dead. The old man would beat him unrecognizable. There was more bickering between Rose and Rafe but all JJ could picture was his father walking through those doors. Beating him bloody.
“You wouldn’t dare,” he overheard Rose growl at her step-son who didn’t miss a beat responding with a sharp ‘watch me.’
“Oh you little —just wait until I tell your father about this,” she snapped a finger at his chest.
“Those are my conditions. Take it or leave it.”
“You are in no position to bargain.”
“Then I’ll do it.”
“Son if a bitch. Rafe I swear to God if you post that —“
“I’m doing it,” he took his cellphone from Shoupe’s hands.
“Fine! Never mind. I’m dropping the trespassing charges,” she said to Shoupe who gave her the most dead-eyed expression JJ had ever seen.
“You mean the charges we just spent over an hour filing?”
“Sorry,” she winced sympathetically. “It turns out it was a misunderstanding.”
Shoupe paused, glanced between JJ and Rafe and then Rose. He didn’t bother to ask if she was certain because Shoupe was an okay guy, and he wasn’t about to risk her changing her mind. He just ripped up the paperwork and opened the cell door.
“It’s your lucky day,” He told JJ.
Like win the lottery kind of luck, JJ thought, only for real this time.