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349 days. That was how long it had been since Natsu and Happy had walked out of her life, and 348 since the disbandment of Fairy Tail. She had kept count, with red dashes marking each passing day on her calendar, until she made it to 365, when he promised he would come back to her.
Every day she hoped that his resolve would break early, that he would come home to her, find her in Crocus, and whisk her away on an adventure as though no time had passed.
It was day 349 when Lucy finally found that her dreams had come to fruition, in a blazing inferno that set both the arena and her heart alight.
It had all happened so fast that she hadn’t even had time to process what had happened until she found herself tangled within her sheets, with no company but the moonlight that peeked in through the curtains. Everything was falling into place, exactly as she had hoped, with Natsu by her side, but she couldn't stop the horrible dull thud that pounded in her chest. The more she dwelled on it, the more it began to hurt, not just emotionally but physically. Her chest began to tighten, and she could only equate the feeling to what she thought could only be a heart attack. The preoccupation with the agonising pain that she was feeling deep within her chest prevented her from holding back the sobs that began to wrack her body. When they began, the floodgates burst right open, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. They began as little more than quiet gasps for air but quickly transitioned into howling cries as a full year of emotion and heartbreak washed all over her at once.
"Huh, Lucy?" The sound of her sobs drowned out the creak of the bedroom door as Natsu made his way in, lured by the gut-wrenching sound of his partner, crying herself to sleep. "Lucy… Are you—what’s going on? Are you okay?" He frantically asked, but he was met with nothing more than her continued cries as she clutched at her bedsheets.
Things had been so good up until now. He had found Lucy by chance, earlier than planned; they had jumped back into it as though no time had passed, and she seemed so happy. So why? Why was she wailing alone in her bed, as though it were the end of the world? What had gone wrong? She looked terrible. Tear tracks stained her cheeks, and her face was painted with the most pained expression he had seen on her. This wasn’t what he had imagined their reunion would be like.
Gently, he sat on the edge of her bed and pushed her hair out of her face, revealing her red and puffy eyes. What the hell was he supposed to do? Lucy was someone he believed truly deserved the world; she brought so much light and joy to everyone around her, and she reminded him of all the good there was left in the world. Seeing her like this made his heart ache.
"C’mon Lucy, talk to me. What’s going on?"
Lucy's words came out before she had the chance to even think about them, burning her throat as she retched her grievances.
"Y-you just- you left me, Natsu, and you didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye, and I-" she paused, gasping for breath between her words and sobs, "and I was so lonely, I didn’t have anyone! Because it was Aquarius, and then you, and then the rest of the guild, and then I was all alone. I didn’t- I didn’t know what to do with myself, and the only person I wanted to talk about it with was you, but you weren’t there."
The rest she had found from her tears didn’t last long, and soon she found herself succumbing to them once more. Just earlier today, she had seemed like she had it all figured out, because of course she would; she was Lucy. She was the strongest and smartest person he knew; if anyone could have made it through this unscathed, it was going to be her. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Lucy spoke up again.
"But now you’re here, and I’m- hic I’m so happy, but I want to hate you for what you did, but I can’t because you’re my best friend."
Her words hit him like a knife through his chest, leaving him feeling as if she had just clawed her way through his insides, and ripped apart his heart. How was he so naïve to think that she hadn’t been hurting this whole time? For the first time, Natsu was at a loss for words.
With her face buried in her hands, Lucy let out a heart wrenching wail, and all Natsu could do was pull her into his arms. Her arms had made their way around his torso, holding him tightly, as if he might try to leave her (he wouldn’t, never again, not after seeing her like this), her nails digging into his back slightly, but he couldn’t bring himself to be upset about it. One hand found itself on the back of her head, tangled within her hair, holding her close to his chest, while the other rubbed circles into her back, in some meek attempt to make her feel better. What a fucking asshole he was, but here she was, looking to him for comfort, even after he was the one who hurt her in the first place.
"That was pretty selfish of me, huh?" He murmured, his voice uncharacteristically soft, as if his voice was any louder, she might simply shatter to pieces in his arms.
"Yeah, it was."
Part of him hoped that she would put up a fight, tell him that it was okay, that she understood, and that she would forgive him. The realistic part of him knew that she didn’t have to forgive him, because yeah, he was a selfish, stupid idiot for leaving her, even if it was for the right reasons. He knew that from the very moment he left that note behind. She deserved so much better than that, but he also knew that if he had told her in person, he would have caved to her pleas to stay. How could he not? He was absolutely smitten with Lucy; he would do absolutely anything for her. He would set the entire world ablaze if it meant that he could see her smile, but instead he had gone and fucked it all up, and now she was here, crying in his arms.
And, fuck, it hurt so bad knowing that she was hurting because of what he did.
"I’m sorry."
"I know."
"I won’t do it again."
"You better not."
Her tears seemed to have subsided for now, and the two lingered in silence for a moment, still holding onto each other, as if fate were to tear them apart once more. His chin rested atop her head and he could smell her shampoo, the scent fresh; used within the past day or two; the same strawberry and vanilla that he had picked out for her before everything had gone south. He had missed that. Missed her. More than he could ever hope to express. He squeezed his arms around her tighter, and she responded in turn.
It was just them again.
Natsu & Lucy.
Lucy & Natsu.
The inseparable duo.
With her back at his side, Natsu had new resolve, and this time, he wouldn’t let her go.