Work Text:
family chat (old man and cool kids)
zhongli: Good morning, Ganyu, Xiao, and Hu Tao. Your lunches are on the kitchen counter. There are leftovers in the fridge for breakfast. Hu Tao, please do not eat only plain white rice.
zhongli: Have a good day at school.
ganyu: Thank you, Baba 😄 Have a good day at work!
zhongli: I will. Thank you, Ganyu.
xiao: thank you baba
hu tao: good morning family!!!
hu tao: waaait baba why cant i eat rice for breakfast??
zhongli: Hu Tao, you are a growing teenager. You need to be eating balanced meals. Not endless bowls of plain white rice.
hu tao: but plain white rice is yummy 🥺
zhongli: Hu Tao, there is a plate of food in the fridge with your name on it. That is your breakfast. Please eat it.
hu tao: okay fiiiine
hu tao: oh hm wait
hu tao: YAAAAAYYYYY THANK YOU BABA
xiao: what is it
hu tao: fried rice for breakfast :D
xiao: @zhongli you told hu tao not to eat rice for breakfast and then you gave her rice for breakfast??
zhongli: It is rice with butter, brown sugar, egg, shrimp, and several kinds of vegetables, so it is a somewhat more nutritious and balanced meal than plain white rice.
hu tao: SHRIMP FRIED RICE SHRIMP FRIED RICE
xiao: why are you this way
esteemed future customers of the wangsheng funeral parlor
not a phase: hu tao why are you already in the principal’s office, the school day literally just started
boo tao: idk xingqiu why are YOU already in the principal’s office, the school day literally just started
boo tao: also why are you asking me through the gc we are sitting right next to each other rn
not a phase: to keep everyone else updated, of course
damsel of devastated: I’m still on my way to school, but I would like to know why both Hu Tao and Xingqiu are already in the principal’s office so early in the day.
jueyun chili popsicle: xingqiu is in the principal’s office?
jueyun chili popsicle: is that why he hasn’t shown up yet?
not a phase: my dear chongyun have you been waiting at the school gates for me
jueyun chili popsicle: yes…
epic guitar solo: yes chongyun is standing outside the gates looking like a lost puppy
epic guitar solo: xingqiu how could you do this to your boyfriend
not a phase: yunyun i told you i had to go to school early today so i could speak with the principal… did you not get my message?
jueyun chili popsicle: oh…my phone was dead the whole morning
jueyun chili popsicle: i lost my charger so auntie shenhe lent me her powerbank
jueyun chili popsicle: it weighs twice as much as my phone itself and
jueyun chili popsicle: when the powerbank is plugged in the entire thing glows blue
not a phase: your phone turned blue?
jueyun chili popsicle: no the powerbank glows blue when its plugged in. also it starts humming like a vacuum cleaner
jueyun chili popsicle: i really need to find my charger or buy a new one. auntie shenhe’s powerbank scares me
epic guitar solo: so chongyun’s auntie’s powerbank is haunted. alright
epic guitar solo: anyway hey xingqiu why are you in the principal’s office
not a phase: oh, i’m just asking if i can leave school early today so that i can meet with a representative from a potential publisher.
shrimp fried rice: oh yeah!! you’re going to see if you can turn a legend of sword into a physical book right?
shrimp fried rice: good luck xingqiu!!
epic guitar solo: oh cool, good luck xingqiu!
damsel of devasted: Xingqiu, I wish you luck in getting permission and that you have a successful and prosperous meeting.
not a phase: thank you everyone, i truly appreciate your well wishes
shrimp fried rice: why is hu tao in the principal’s office tho
not a phase: i was just about to ask that
not a phase: hu tao, explain.
boo tao: well i was handing out flyers for the wangsheng convenience store and funeral parlor joint discount promos in the hallways and apparently i was “causing a disturbance on school grounds” and “making my underclassmen cry”
not a phase: .
epic guitar solo: .
jueyun chili popsicle: .
shrimp fried rice: .
damsel of devastated: .
kazoo noises: i’m not sure what i expected from hu tao.
boo tao: the first time kazuha speaks in the gc today and it’s to judge me
kazoo noises: and what about it
cool kids only
xiao: hu tao is it true that you were sent to the principal’s office for handing out funeral parlor flyers at school and making kids cry
hu tao: yes
xiao: FSGJKKSJSJS nice
hu tao: omg did xiao just keysmash
xiao: no. venti grabbed my phone
hu tao: oh okay tell venti thank you
xiao: youre welcome hu tao thi sis venti b th waysfghbz
xiao: fkddfjbbwhf bv
xiao: this is xiao. venti grabbed my phone again
hu tao: ah
ganyu: Shouldn’t you both be paying attention in class right now??
hu tao: independent study time 😄
xiao: we’re unsupervised because my teacher has food poisoning.
ganyu: Oh… I see…
ganyu: Ah well in that case Baba is asking if any of us have plans after school today
xiao: venti and i are going to the arcade and then to that cafe he likes.
hu tao: ooh can i come
xiao: no
hu tao: why not 🥺
xiao: venti and i are going on a date.
xiao: do you not understand the concept of a date
hu tao: HEY i know what a date is
xiao: then you understand why you’re not going.
hu tao: ganyuuuu xiao is being so mean to me
xiao: ganyu, hu tao is trying to get me into trouble for some reason.
ganyu: Both of you, please stop fighting
hu tao: :(
xiao: ganyu do you have plans this evening
ganyu: Yes i do!
ganyu: After my shift at yuehai pavilion Keqing and i are going to have dinner together
xiao: okay have fun
hu tao: ganyu has a date with THE miss keqing?? waaaooowww
ganyu: But we’ve been dating for two months? Why is this surprising?
hu tao: right right
hu tao: why am i the only one who’s single… both my siblings have hot dates tonight and i am all alone nobody care me
ganyu: No hu tao don’t worry! We’re your siblings, we care about you!!
ganyu: Also you’re still young, you have plenty of time to find someone!
xiao: yeah you don’t have to worry about dating
xiao: you’re still a baby
hu tao: you’re like two years older than me??
xiao: you’re a baby
hu tao: UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
xiao: you have no plans after school huh.
hu tao: i have plans
xiao: sure you do
hu tao: well i can MAKE plans watch me
ganyu: Hmm
ganyu: I do wonder why Baba was asking about our plans though…
ganyu: Usually the rule is that if we’re going somewhere we let him know beforehand and most of the time he’s okay with if anyway, but he’s the first to ask if we’re busy when he wants to get us all together for a family activity
ganyu: Or if it’s the other way around and Baba has his own plans for the night
xiao: you’re right.
xiao: somehow i feel like today it’s the second one
ganyu: Me too…I wonder what Baba is doing tonight…
hu tao: lol what if baba’s going on a date too
xiao: hmm.
ganyu: Well i guess it could be possible…
ganyu: It would be good for Baba though right?
ganyu: We’re old enough to not have to rely on Baba so much and he’s still fairly young for a single dad. He should be able to take some time for himself and have fun
ganyu: I think it would be great if Baba found a special someone who made him happy 😄
hu tao: yeah youre right!
hu tao: also baba is a great catch so his date better treat him right or else 😤
xiao: okay i agree with ganyu and i want baba to be happy too
xiao: but it still seems unlikely that he was asking about our plans because he’s going on a date
xiao: i mean who would he even be going out with
esteemed future customers of the wangsheng funeral parlor
boo tao: so do any of you have plans after school
jueyun chili popsicle: why are you asking us this
jueyun chili popsicle: i’m scared
not a phase: fear not, my dear chongyun
not a phase: i will protect you from any and all of hu tao’s nefarious schemes
boo tao: im literally just asking my friends if they have plans after school??
not a phase: hu tao has friends?
boo tao: 😭
shrimp fried rice: xingqiu be nice
epic guitar solo: yeah xingqiu :/ be nice :/
not a phase: ok fine
not a phase: hu tao, as your friend, i will remind you that i can’t hang out with you after school today because i have a business meeting
boo tao: man cmon
boo tao: if ur trying to think of an excuse to ditch school to hang out with chongyun again at least make it believable??
boo tao: what kind of highschooler is having business meetings lol
not a phase: i’m meeting with a publisher for my webnovel?
not a phase: hu tao, i literally just mentioned that this morning
boo tao: oh right lol
boo tao: in my defense one time u told us that you were gonna skip school bc u had to go to the stock market with ur dad when in reality you ran off to visit chongyun in the hospital
kazoo noises: xingqiu did what?
epic guitar solo: oh yeah
epic guitar solo: i think that was before kazuha transferred here
epic guitar solo: yeah kazuha that happened it was a whole thing
kazoo noises: please elaborate
epic guitar solo: alright so there was this one time chongyun got stomach flu and missed a few days of school
epic guitar solo: on the second day he was absent xingqiu left school at lunchtime because he said his dad was taking him to the liyue stock exchange or smth
epic guitar solo: so we all just accepted it bc xingqius family is super rich and maybe rich ppl go to the stock exchange for funsies or whatever
epic guitar solo: then when school ended a few hours later xingqius brother was there to pick him up and he seemed a little concerned when xingqiu wasnt there
epic guitar solo: like he didnt know where xingqiu was? so i think he had to ask the principals office what happened to xingqiu
epic guitar solo: or he asked xiangling
shrimp fried rice: no he asked me where xingqiu was
epic guitar solo: yeah yeah
epic guitar solo: so thats how we found out xingqiu was not at the liyue stock exchange with his dad
epic guitar solo: there was a lot of confusion and panicked phone calls
epic guitar solo: eventually we learned that xingqiu went to the hospital to hang out with chongyun
kazoo noises: what exactly was he doing with chongyun at the hospital?
shrimp fried rice: idk he said he was keeping chongyun company
jueyun chili popsicle: we watched hospital tv and talked.
jueyun chili popsicle: when i got sleepy xingqiu read to me a little
damsel of devastated: Oh, how sweet! What did he read to you?
jueyun chili popsicle: i was still a little out of it so i’m not really sure
jueyun chili popsicle: but i think he was reading his unpublished chapters of a legend of sword
damsel of devastated: Ah
epic guitar solo: so anyway after xingqiu’s parents found him and picked him up from the hospital they were super mad and xingqiu got grounded for like a month
not a phase: and i would do it again for my dear yunyun
boo tao: ew
jueyun chili popsicle: no xingqiu, please don’t get yourself grounded again
not a phase: worry not, my dear chongyun, i have no intentions of losing any more precious hours of free time that could be spent together with you <3
jueyun chili popsicle: <3
boo tao: EWWWWW COOTIES
boo tao: YUUUCCKKKK
boo tao: GET A ROOM
not a phase: you’re just jealous because you’re single, aren’t you?
boo tao: and what if i am
shrimp fried rice: ahhh hu tao you were asking what everyone is doing after school?
boo tao: oh yeah
boo tao: xiangling do you want to hang out 🤩
shrimp fried rice: sorry hu tao… i have to help out at the restaurant
shrimp fried rice: my dad’s training some new chefs and he wanted me to show them how to make the wanmin specialty fish stew
boo tao: can i come and wait for you in the restaurant area and i can eat the leftover fish stew :D
shrimp fried rice: sorry hu tao
boo tao: :(
boo tao: chongyun do you want to hang out :)
jueyun chili popsicle: no sorry i have to accompany my aunt somewhere
damsel of devastated: Oh, where are you and Ms. Shenhe going, Chongyun?
jueyun chili popsicle: we’re buying stuff from the supermarket
jueyun chili popsicle: auntie shenhe still isn’t very good with everyday social interactions so i have to help her with the groceries and make sure she doesnt threaten the cashiers with bodily harm and get us banned from the store
damsel of devastated: Ah, good luck then, Chongyun! Have fun :D
jueyun chili popsicle: ok
boo tao: yun jin will you hang out with me 🥺
damsel of devastated: Ah, I have rehearsal today…
boo tao: can i come and watch your rehearsal and cheer when you remember all your lines??
damsel of devastated: Hu Tao, you do remember that the instructors don’t like you because the last time you were at rehearsal you accidentally connected your phone to one of their bluetooth speakers and it started playing Vocaloid music really loudly?
boo tao: awww cmon are they really still upset about that??
boo tao: hatsune miku is a cultural icon and world is mine is a CLASSIC
damsel of devastated: It was really loud, though…
damsel of devastated: I’m so sorry, Hu Tao :(
boo tao: 😭😭😭
boo tao: heyyyy xinyan will you hang out with me after school pls pls pls 🥺
epic guitar solo: well alright
epic guitar solo: kazuha and i are gonna meet some friends after school, do you wanna join us?
boo tao: hmmm who are you meeting
epic guitar solo: uhh do u know fischl and mona from the other school
boo tao: is fischl the blonde girl with the eyepatch who claims to be the prinzessin der verurteilung of immernachtreich or smth
boo tao: and mona is the upperclassman who likes horoscopes and has a big fancy hat?
epic guitar solo: yeah thats them
boo tao: wait how do you guys know each other
epic guitar solo: lumine brought us on a road trip for a creative writing project
boo tao: what
epic guitar solo: long story
epic guitar solo: so anyways we hang out every so often and share our creative projects
epic guitar solo: all of us write a little bit of poetry, and kazuha and fischl both share longer stories sometimes
epic guitar solo: mona makes up horoscopes and double-checks our math homework
boo tao: hey i write poetry too!!
boo tao: oooooh that sounds like a lot of fun
boo tao: so can i join you guys today please please please 🥺
epic guitar solo: well i have to ask the others
kazoo noises: i, for one, don’t mind if hu tao joins us.
boo tao: 🥺🥺
epic guitar solo: i still have to ask fischl and mona though
epic guitar solo: it’s kinda rude to bring someone new along without letting them know first ya know
boo tao: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
epic guitar solo: but theyll probably say yes itll be fine
boo tao: YAYYYYYYYYY
boo tao: THANK YOU XINYAN I LOVE YOU XINYAN 💕💕😄😄😍😍☺️☺️🥰🥰😘😘😍💕
epic guitar solo: ahahaha it’s no big deal hu tao
boo tao: still thank you xinyan for letting me hang out with you ily 🥰🥰💕💕💕😍😍
kazoo noises: what about me? i’m going to be there too
boo tao: what about you
family chat (old man and cool kids)
zhongli: Where are you all right now?
hu tao: im at the stone gate teahouse with xinyan and kazuha :)
xiao: venti and i are at the arcade
ganyu: I’m finishing up my shift at yuehai pavilion! 😃
zhongli: I see.
zhongli: Do not forget your curfews. Ganyu and Xiao, you have to be home by 10PM. Hu Tao, you have to be home by 9PM.
zhongli: If for any reason you find yourself running late, call me.
zhongli: Take care and have fun with your friends.
xiao: okay
ganyu: Okay, thank you baba!
hu tao: okay baba! you have fun tonight too :)
zhongli: Thank you, Hu Tao. I will.
zhongli: :)
cool kids only
hu tao: BABA USED AN EMOTICON???
hu tao: huh
xiao: huh.
ganyu: Huh?
Direct Message
you: thanks for letting me hang out with you guys again :)
xinyan: aw shucks its nothing
xinyan: youre my friend too :D
xinyan: anyway you had a lot of fun right?
you: YEAH!!
you: mona and fischl were really nice
you: mona said i did a good job on my algebra homework and fischl said she would formally welcome me into the inner court of the prinzessin within 1-2 business days
you: whatever that means
xinyan: oh that means fischl really liked you and she’s gonna put you in the immernachtreich themed groupchat soon
you: oh awesome :D
you: and i said thank you to kazuha also by the way dw
xinyan: that’s good!
xinyan: so hey are you gonna be alright waiting for your big sis there?
you: yeah yeah i’m fine dw
you: i like wanwen bookstore they have a lot of books there
xinyan: haha yeah
you: and its like right across the restaurant ganyu’s having her date at
you: so when shes done we can go home together
xinyan: alright that sound like a plan
you: xinyan you’re on your way home right?
xinyan: yeah im like 5mins away
you: ok text me when you get home :D
xinyan: i’ll do that! hey you too hu tao
xinyan: text me so i know you got home safe okay?
you: okay :)
xinyan: :)
you: are you still gonna eat dinner when you get home?
xinyan: yeah probably i just had some snacks awhilago
xinyan: you should eat a proper dinner too, okay?
you: yeah yeah i will! i know theres a lot of yummy leftovers at home
you: also im gonna bug ganyu and see if she can bring home some dumplings for me or smth
xinyan: haha okay
you: wha huh
you: i checked my other messages and xiao is freaking out abt smth
you: i think there’s drama going on hold on!!
cool kids only
xiao: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH
xiao: RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH
xiao: SHIT
xiao: FUCK
xiao: I HATE IT HERE
ganyu: Xiao, don’t swear!
xiao: AAAAAAAA WHYYYYYY WHY HIM !!!
ganyu: Calm down! What’s going on?
xiao: AAAArrrtgghhHHHGGHRRRRAH of all the people AAAAAHRHRHFGRH WHY
hu tao: ohhhhkay um. uh
hu tao: hey xiao whats happening?
ganyu: Xiao. Please, calm down so we can understand what’s going on.
xiao: uuuuuuuugh okay
xiao: so hu tao was right about baba going on a date. i went home and guess what i saw.
xiao: no wait. guess who i saw
xiao: guess who his date was fucking guess
hu tao: ummmm
ganyu: Xiao, just tell us.
xiao: its tartaglia
xiao: childe tartaglia
xiao: and he was KISSING baba
xiao: THEY WERE KISSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DRIVEWAY
xiao: ALL OF OUR NEIGHBORS COULD SEE THEM
xiao: i hate it here
hu tao: FATUI TARTAGLIA?
xiao: YES
xiao: THAT ASSHOLE
hu tao: HE’S DATING BABA???
xiao: I GUESS
xiao: THEY WERE KISSING
ganyu: If I may clarify… Xiao, you went home and saw Baba kissing Tartaglia of the Fatui corporation in the middle of the driveway?
ganyu: Tartaglia, one of the eleven most high-ranked executives of the Fatui corportation well known for their unscrupulous tactics, shady dealings, and aggressive behavior that causes endless problems for the Qixing?
ganyu: That Tartaglia
ganyu: That Tartaglia is dating our father and kissing him in the middle of our driveway for all the world to see?
xiao: unfortunately
ganyu: Ah.
hu tao: ganyu are you okay
ganyu: I
ganyu: Hm
ganyu: I feel a little insane, actually
hu tao: yeah understandable
ganyu: I need to distract myself so that I don’t do something I will regret later
ganyu: I need. To do a task
hu tao: big sis ganyu can you get me some food from the restaurant youre at
ganyu: Okay! I can do that
ganyu: What do you want, Hu Tao? 😃
hu tao: can you get me shrimp rice rolls pls
ganyu: Yes, I can!
ganyu: I will order some shrimp rice rolls for my sister, and then I will settle the bill, and then I will see to it that Keqing gets home safely
ganyu: And then Hu Tao and I will go home together 😄
hu tao: 😄
ganyu: I’m still processing the whole “Tartaglia the Fatui excecutive is dating Baba” thing.
hu tao: yeah i understand. me too
xiao: yeah
esteemed future customers of the wangsheng funeral parlor
shrimp fried rice: so xingqiu, how did your meeting go?
not a phase: it went really well, actually!
not a phase: the representative i met with was used to working with webnovel writers before so he was really helpful
not a phase: he said a legend of sword would work well as a physical novel and that it was very promising
not a phase: we have another meeting scheduled next week to work on the logistics
not a phase: but he said we might be able to release the first volume of a legend of sword in a few months
shrimp fried rice: that’s so cool!!! really happy for you!!!
epic guitar solo: wow, great job xingqiu!
kazoo noises: xingqiu, i’ll be sure to support your book when it’s released.
damsel of devastated: So will I! Xingqiu, be sure to keep us updated on the publishing process and the release date :D
not a phase: ah, thank you all so much for your support!
jueyun chili popsicle: proud of you, xingqiu <3
not a phase: thank you yunyun <3
not a phase: oh, how did your grocery shopping go?
jueyun chili popsicle: it went well
jueyun chili popsicle: auntie shenhe enjoyed herself and didn’t threaten anyone
jueyun chili popsicle: when we went home she was in such a good mood that she wanted to cook dinner so today i learned that auntie shenhe makes really good liyue-style chicken noodle soup
shrimp fried rice: wowwww!!
damsel of devastated: That’s good! It’s nice to see how well Ms. Shenhe is adjusting to life in the city.
damsel of devastated: Speaking of cooking, Xiangling, how did your shift at the restaurant go?
shrimp fried rice: it went good it went good!!
shrimp fried rice: all the new chefs can make a mean wanmin specialty fish stew now!
damsel of devastated: Ah, that’s good to hear :D
epic guitar solo: heyyy yun jin!! how was practice?
damsel of devastated: It was very productive, so I would say it went well. :)
epic guitar solo: thats great!!
damsel of devastated: Xinyan, you and Kazuha brought Hu Tao along to your creative writing meet-up, right?
shrimp fried rice: oh yeah!! how did your meet-up go?
epic guitar solo: oh it went great! hu tao got along real well with mona and fischl
epic guitar solo: then hu tao and i walked to wanwen bookstore and we went our separate ways
kazoo noises: hmm, speaking of which, where is hu tao?
kazoo noises: there’s no way she’s asleep yet, and it’s not like her to be this quiet when everyone else is online.
shrimp fried rice: you’re right…is hu tao okay?
not a phase: i was waiting for her to yell something about cooties earlier, but she never did
boo tao: COOTIES! HIIIIII
boo tao: im alive guys!!
boo tao: i just got a little busy so i only read all ur messages now
epic guitar solo: hu tao!!! hey hey
epic guitar solo: you got home safe right?
boo tao: yeah im good dw about me 👍🏻
boo tao: happy for all of my lovely friends btw congrats good job etc etc
boo tao: uhhh im at home and we are having a family crisis rn
epic guitar solo: what??
shrimp fried rice: oh no!! what happened?
kazoo noises: is everyone okay?
boo tao: no wait ill explain its not that kind of crisis
boo tao: no one is dying or anything
epic guitar solo: then what sort of family crisis are you having?
boo tao: uh
boo tao: well we just found out that our dad is dating a Fatui executive. and we found out because apparently xiao saw them kissing in the middle of our driveway
damsel of devastated: Mr. Zhongli?
boo tao: yeah hes my dad
damsel of devastated: Mr. Zhongli is dating an employee of the Fatui?
not a phase: not just any employee
not a phase: mr. zhongli is dating a fatui harbinger??
boo tao: yyyyyyyep
shrimp fried rice: wha
epic guitar solo: WHAT THE F
jueyun chili popsicle: what
not a phase: WHAT???
shrimp fried rice: THE FATUI?
damsel of devastated: WHY
kazoo noises: what the hell.
kazoo noises: alright that would constitute a family crisis. i understand now
epic guitar solo: which one
boo tao: ?
damsel of devastated: I think she means. There’s 11 Fatui harbingers.
damsel of devastated: Which one is Mr. Zhongli dating
epic guitar solo: yeah that
boo tao: oh
boo tao: its childe tartaglia
shrimp fried rice: oh no
damsel of devastated: Okay
shrimp fried rice: he’s the youngest one right
not a phase: yeah
shrimp fried rice: the ginger one?
not a phase: i think so?
shrimp fried rice: ohhh oh gosh. oh my gosh
shrimp fried rice: hu tao. i’m so so sorry
boo tao: huh?
shrimp fried rice: i think. i think ive seen tartaglia on a date with mr zhongli at wanmin restaurant
boo tao: WHAT
boo tao: WHEN
shrimp fried rice: UHHHH i think it was a few days ago
shrimp fried rice: I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS A DATE I DIDNT THINK IT WAS A DATE
shrimp fried rice: it was just after school ended and i just got into the restaurant and i saw mr zhongli at one of the tables
shrimp fried rice: and he was with a guy with orange hair and. that might have been tartaglia
boo tao: WHATTTT
boo tao: DID YOU SPEAK TO THEM
shrimp fried rice: i didnt get to actually bc it was rlly busy and my dad called me to help in the kitchen and by the time i was able to take a break again theyd left
jueyun chili popsicle: so xiangling you saw the guy mr zhongli is maybe dating?
shrimp fried rice: yeah
shrimp fried rice: but just for a few seconds
boo tao: what was he like
shrimp fried rice: i only saw him for a few seconds…
boo tao: i still want to know plsssss
boo tao: is he cute enough for my dad to date
shrimp fried rice: uhhh ummm do you want me to be objective or nah
boo tao: both
boo tao: objective description first pls
shrimp fried rice: okay well… he looked maybe a few years younger than mr. zhongli, fluffy-looking orange hair, blue eyes, decently good-looking i would say
boo tao: okay
boo tao: non-objective description
shrimp fried rice: he kind of looked like if ed sheeran was a twink.
boo tao: WWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA
epic guitar solo: XIANGLING??
shrimp fried rice: what??
epic guitar solo: WHAT KIND OF DESCRIPTION IS THAT
not a phase: hmm actually im looking him up on google images and xiangling’s right
not a phase: here
not a phase sent a photo.
epic guitar solo: okay he does kinda look like if ed sheeran was a twink
jueyun chili popsicle: his eyes look like cold dead fish
damsel of devastated: What?
boo tao: no no chongyun’s right i see it
kazoo noises: yeah, i see it too.
kazoo noises: there’s something about his eyes that just make them seem completely devoid of life
boo tao: cold dead fish eyes…
boo tao: my dad could do so much better ☹️
damsel of devastated: Agreed
epic guitar solo: agreed
jueyun chili popsicle: agreed
kazoo noises: hu tao, you’re absolutely certain that mr. zhongli is dating this man?
boo tao: oughhh sighhhh
boo tao: like i said. xiao went home and saw them kissing ~passionately~
boo tao: and then apparently he started screeching and hissing like a cat and lunged at tartaglia
jueyun chili popsicle: what
boo tao: so baba held xiao back and told tartaglia to go home and have a good night and drive safe
boo tao: and when ganyu and i got home we all confronted baba and asked him what was going on
boo tao: and baba said hed been seeing tartaglia “for some time”
not a phase: what
boo tao: and theyd been seriously dating for a few months
boo tao: and baba was already thinking about how hed introduce tartaglia to us kids
boo tao: he wasnt planning on. This
epic guitar solo: man
boo tao: xiao has to do extra chores for a week as punishment for screaming swear words for all the neighbors to hear and trying to attack tartaglia
jueyun chili popsicle: i see
not a phase: so a fatui exectuive is seriously dating hu tao’s father… my condolences
boo tao: yeah
boo tao: well
boo tao: he makes my dad happy i guess
epic guitar solo: yeah thats right!!
epic guitar solo: if mr zhongli is happy with the guy, then that’s what matters most
boo tao: true true ty xinyan
boo tao: he’d better make my dad reeeeeally happy
boo tao: or else
epic guitar solo: or else?
boo tao: or else the wangsheng funeral parlor will get to make some bank off him 🔪🔪⚰️🪦
epic guitar solo: HU TAO NO
family chat (old man and cool kids)
zhongli: You should all go to sleep soon.
zhongli: A good night’s sleep is very important for teenagers and young adults.
ganyu: Will do, Baba! I just have to finish this assignment 😃
xiao: i can lie down and close my eyes for a bit, but no promises.
zhongli: I understand. That is perfectly alright.
hu tao: baba
zhongli: Yes, Hu Tao?
hu tao: are you really dating the fatui guy? do you really like him
zhongli: To answer your first question, yes, I am.
zhongli: To answer your second question…Ganyu, Xiao, Hu Tao, I understand all of your concerns, but Childe and I truly care for each other and I greatly enjoy spending time with him.
zhongli: Would it make all of you feel better to discuss this further in the morning?
xiao: i guess
ganyu: Thats okay with me Baba 😃
hu tao: okay with me too!!
hu tao: good night then
ganyu: Good night Hu Tao!
xiao: good night hu tao
zhongli: Good night. Sleep well.
hu tao: thank uuuu ganyu xiao and baba
hu tao: good night family :)