Chapter Text
This came to me as I re-watched a few episodes and happened to run across a few hints dropped for the new season. I loved the line the old allotment guy said to Robbie, ‘You trust what you know about them.” And what Jean said to Hathaway, “You can only find out how strong a friendship is if you test it until it breaks.” So stir in Robbie and Laura taking the next logical step in their relationship and Jean retiring (Which we all know they won’t show – it will just take place off camera – sniff – going to miss Rebecca Front) and the delicious New CS Moody (Played by Steve Toussaint) We see James has a sister and a father who are alive – and no way could that not cause some plot bunny hopping a bit. I do not own any of these characters other than a few toys I invented whilst playing in Mr. Dexter’s sand box. This story is purely for my own – not for profit – entertainment and writing exercise. It is published for critique and not meant to be used in whole or part for commercial gain or copied. So – be warned – it is dark in places and if you are trigger happy about well basely anything, I am not the writer for you. Go away and read about bubbles and rainbows – detective shows are not going be your thing. This is a slash pairing and though it isn’t explicit play by play – there are adults doing adult things. (That is code for threesome, cheating, and rumpy-pumpy) It is canon that a woman burned out the eye of a priest as well as seduced James only to set him on fire – If you can handle that – you should be fine with funny business –LOL. Thanks for reading.
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret,
Never to be told.
DI Hathaway stood in the alley car-park indulging in his favored vice looking up at the sign painted with a single magpie watching him with the bright glass eye someone had glued to the wood. His own eyes throbbed with the discontent in his heart. He knew this was coming. Of course they would marry and who else would Robert ask to be his best man?
He’d done the polite thing. He always did. He’d pretended joy and smiled and kissed Laura’s cheek and put on a great stonking show of how pleased he was for Robert. He’d teased him for taking so long and told Laura that she should be sainted for her patience with the thicky Geordie lot.
Laura was beaming. Innocent teared up then cast a furtive glance at him that conveyed with a single tilt of her head that he’d never fooled her and he detested her for a split second as he felt her unspoken pity wash him in understanding at his sorrow.
It was over. He had no option but to face that Robert would never choose four for a boy over the three for a girl. Robbie’s heart was closed to the obviously pathetic hopes that one day James would be more than a best man and somehow morph into a great love requited. James sucked the smoke deep into his lungs and held it, willing the poison to destroy him faster.
The bells of Oxford rang in the distance and James closed his eyes to listen. Great Tom chimed in, calling him eight times to duty and death and prayer and a wedding. For his sorrow and secrets he thought with a wounded smirk touching his expression. Innocent was standing a few feet away when the ringing ceased, finally prompting him to open his eyes.
“Is there anything I can do, James?” she asked with timid voice overflowing with kindness.
James took another deep drag and sighed a billow of smoke into the night air. He shook his head and tossed the fag away only to light another. “No. Really, thanks, but can we just pretend you are already retired and let the case of you always being in the know go cold this one time?”
She stepped closer and put her hand on his shoulder. “That depends. Can you?”
“I haven’t any choice. He made his. Please, Ma’am. Let this go.”
“Are you sure he knew the options? Have you ever actually told him?” Jean asked softly.
“Seven for a secret, never to be told,” James responded. “One and seven – those are my numbers. Two and four avoid me…always..”
They both turned at the sound of footsteps and a banging door. “There you are? The two of you in a dark alley. I fear for me life. Am I interrupting a clandestine tryst?” Robbie Lewis said then chuckled at both of the aghast expressions that greeted him.
“Ahh, so either I’ve hit the nail on the head or you were scheming about me. No Stag do. I’m too old for that nonsense, “ Robbie cheerfully admonished.
“Damned, Thwarted by the best, Sir.”
“Don’t act like a tryst is so farfetched, Mr. Lewis. I am a free agent these days, you know. There is a certain charm in the whole cougar mentality,” Jean deadpanned.
“Good thing you arrived in time to save my virtue. Ta for that.” James added sincerely enough that Jean slapped his arm.
Robbie’s eyebrows rose in mock shock and he pointed back toward the door. “Half the nick is in there debating where one or the other of you have disappeared to. I could set their minds to ease if you like? Tell them my work wife is out here bucking for a promotion with the Chief? Make for your last few weeks to be rather exciting, I’d imagine. Be the talk of the station until the day James follows us into the great pensioner’s mist.”
“As attractive as the center of untoward office gossip sounds, I’d hoped for a more discreet sort of arrangement for the end of my shining career. A dignified exit is more my style. Tempting as it would be to allow the former Mr. Innocent to catch wind that a certain tall blond half of the dynamic duo set his sights on my person, I would find it annoying to bury James’ career in the bogs after you put such effort into housetraining him. No matter how sweet the revenge.” Innocent responded in her most superior voice.
James grinned and winked at Robbie. “Camera phone. sir.”
Robbie looked confused then seemed to catch on with a sly grin. He brought up his phone and nodded.
James moved toward Jean with a sure smile and took her in his arms as if he knew every inch of her.
“What the hell are you doing, Hathaway?” Jean demanded.
“Just cutting out the middle man. Let the bastard squirm, Ma’am. Ready, Robbie?” James asked, never talking his eyes off Jean.
James’ hand cupped her cheek and his eyes half-closed as he tilted his head and met her lips in a perfect Hollywood-romantic kiss. The alley saw three bright flashes before James pulled back with a smirk and whispered, “Now think what would happen if that was a glossy eight by ten on your office door tomorrow morning and look at Robert as if we just got caught!”
Jean looked horrified and the image Robbie captured would have made knees wobble had Jean Innocent truly been the subject of a scandal.
“Got it.” Robbie said and showed the subjects their work with a conspiratorial chuckle.
Jean’s brows furrowed, “Again. What the hell do you think you are doing?”
Robbie answered, “Not a damned thing, Ma’am. At least not without your word.”
“Just thought Mr. Innocent should know that you are not sitting at home pining for him. That he’s lost the best thing that ever happened to him and it’s not even a blip on your radar.” James kissed her on the cheek and shrugged with a shy smile and twinkling eyes.
“Moved on to bigger and certainly prettier things.” Robbie added.
“Bit of a childish plan, but you don’t have many opportunities to kick a true narcissist, unless you know what they care about.” James volunteered with a casual superior tone.
Robbie chimed in, “Saw him out to dinner last week. She’s hideous, if I may be so bold. Too much make-up and chews gum like a …well, at least she’s out of nappies.”
Jean stood silently considering her options. The boys awaited her orders. A huge naughty grin spread across her face. “Oh, for God’s sake. I am glad you two are my friends. Yes. Do that and then keep mum. Conclusions are always more salacious than facts in my experience. Though, Hathaway, if this goes wrong, it will all be on your shoulders. Are you sure you can stand the implications? Robbie and I won’t be there to protect you if this goes pear shaped down the road. He might use it against me to try to embarrass me.”
James smirked and replied, “I think it will be more fun than the whispers that I am dangerously heartbroken over my former governor’s impending nuptials. I’d be happy to frame it and put it on my desk. Sleeping my way to the top seems more romantic than a pathetic sod topping himself over unrequited gay love, don’t you think?”
A look passed between Jean and Robbie. They should have found the comment hilarious. So, they both had heard the bloody rumors too. Some were a razor’s edge from the truth. Bit of a surprise, Robbie not being the gossip-whisperer. James wondered if Laura had filled him in on the whispered water-cooler chinwag circling the Nick like buzzards.