Archive of Our Own

According to Kunikida, Christmas at the Armed Detective Agency has never been a big thing, ever. The past few years the most they've done is put up some lights on the outside windows and order a meal for them to share from "wherever is the least amount of a hassle." None of them have ever had lovers to spend the day with, not even Dazai, who claims Christmas is a scam, so they've always spent the day in the office as normal, just waiting for the New Year to come. Atsushi can't claim to ever have celebrated it either. This will actually be his second Christmas away from the orphanage, and he's still just as nervous about spending it with the Agency as he was last year, despite their lack of interest in the holiday.

This year is different, however, because they have two Americans hanging around pretty much all the time.

"So," Montgomery says to them one day while setting drinks cleanly on their table. "What do you guys do during Christmastime?"

They're in the Cafe Uzumaki on the first floor of the Agency building where they all end up spending time after workdays finish. Yosano and Ranpo are watching something on the doctor's phone while Poe tries to avoid being seen, hiding his face behind a book. Kenji and Kyouka talk quietly with each other as they grab for their hot chocolates. Next to Atsushi is Kunikida, scribbling something in his notebook, and Dazai is leaning back against the booth with his headphones on. Tanizaki and Naomi are the only ones that are usually here who aren't present, apparently having already made plans, and it feels quieter without the girl's loud chatter filling the room.

"Well," Dazai starts to reply without removing his headphones from his ears. "We're not very big celebrators. Christmas is more of a lover's holiday in Japan, and if you can't tell by looking at our merry band -" He gestures at all of them vaguely. "None of us really do any of that. Apart from myself, of course."

"Shut your mouth, Dazai," Kunikida says without looking at him. He nods at Montgomery as he picks up his drink, a boring looking coffee with no cream. "You always end up spending your Christmas with the rest of us, partner or not, so don't start."

Dazai snorts and shuts his eyes again without a response. Atsushi is more focused on his drink, a very frothy hot chocolate with sprinkles and marshmallows. "Thanks, Lucy," he says gratefully, flushing at the small giggle she offers in response. He takes a big sip to cover it up and changes topic before Ranpo or Dazai can make any jokes. "Why are you asking anyway?"

She hums, adjusting dirty glasses on her tray as a clear excuse to hang around their table longer. Atsushi is sure the cafe owner recognizes this, but never says anything as long as she doesn't push her luck - he knows the Agency are the most loyal and high spending customers they get in here. "It's mine and Poe's first Christmas here," she says airily. "I've never spent the holidays in a foreign country, and I've researched what it's like and everything. It seems so different, it's surprising."

"Actually," Poe pipes up for the first time since Ranpo last looked in his direction around ten minutes ago. "I've spent Christmas in Japan before. When I was training to be a detective here about six years ago."

"When I beat you, yes, yes," Ranpo says with a wave of his hand. He doesn't even glance at the man next to him, still engrossed in whatever Yosano is showing him. He grabs his hot chocolate and drains half the glass without so much as thanking Lucy for it.

Poe looks absolutely crestfallen. "I didn't even bring that up," he mumbles. "You didn't have to bring that up."

"So you've had the full Japanese Christmas experience, Poe?" Lucy exclaims. She leans on the table between Dazai and Kyouka, resting her head on her fist. "You never mentioned it."

Atsushi clears his throat. "You and Poe could spend the day with us in the Agency, Lucy," he offers. He fiddles with his straw. "We really don't do much, but it's never that busy on Christmas, so we could go to some of the markets or something."

"Oh, we couldn't possibly intrude," Poe quickly interrupts.

"We can't change any plans last minute," Kunikida says, stricken. "The director and I pre-placed our dinner orders weeks ago."

Yosano suddenly sets her phone down, causing Ranpo to whine at the loss of whatever was keeping his interest. "Guests at the Agency for Christmas would be lovely," she says, a small smile on her face. Her voice is just a little too high. "I mean, it would simply be rude to leave Poe and Montgomery without anywhere to go all by themselves. Do be polite, Kunikida!"

Ranpo groans. "We have to host this guy for a day?" he whines, gesturing to Poe sitting right beside him. Poe hides his face in his drink.

"Don't be a dick," Yosano reprimands him. "Poe, Montgomery, we'd be happy to have you both." Her smile grows. "If you'd like, you could come over the evening before, as well. Atsushi, you'd be ok with hosting your friend on Christmas Eve, right?"

Atsushi splutters into his drink, going beet red. Even if Lucy doesn't know, he's sure Yosano knows what she's implying by that - she's clearly trying to set him and Lucy up!

"I'd like that," Kyouka suddenly says, her silent tone always managing to make itself heard. "Montgomery has been very kind to us."

"Oh please, call me Lucy," says Lucy bashfully. If she picked up on Yosano's joke, she doesn't say anything. "Kyouka, you're too kind. I love how you've done your hair today, by the way!"

Kyouka grins, cheeks dusting red at the compliment. Today her hair has been split into pretty braids instead of their usual ponytails. "Thanks," she says shyly. "Kenji did them for me."

"I could do yours too!" Kenji offers Lucy. His face is full of crumbs from the sponge cake he's been scoffing since they all sat down, and Atsushi has no doubt his fingers are extremely sticky.

Lucy grins weakly. "Ah, maybe another time, when I'm not working."

Speaking of work, she seems to remember why she's wearing the uniform she has on and disappears to the back of the shop. Conversations resume as normal, except now Poe seems slightly more alert, frowning somewhere at the middle of the table. "I'm ashamed to say that my last Christmas here was mostly spent around other Americans," he says. "But I understand that gift giving is more of a thing you do around New Year's than Christmas?"

"You mostly give gifts to your partner or whatever," Ranpo says. He seems wholly uninterested in the subject, and it's evident in his voice. "Parents usually get their kids stuff too, I guess. We don't do gifts. We're not very gift-y people."

Poe's mouth forms an O shape, and his back straightens. "So you'd give a gift to someone you were perhaps interested in?" he asks, trying terribly hard to be casual.

Ranpo stretches out across the table, head in his arms. "I dunno," he yawns. "Maybe. Yosano, wake me if someone starts talking about something interesting, yeah?"

She smacks him over the head. Poe doesn't seem deterred, and in fact seems only more determined, opening a book from his pocket and beginning to write frantically with a smile on his face. Kenji and Kyouka exchange looks, giggling behind their hands.

Lucy returns to collect their glasses and plates about twenty minutes later. Atsushi notices she's redone her braids, and something about her face seems different too - is she wearing makeup? "Sooo," she asks as if nothing is different. "Do you guys do Secret Santa?"

Everyone collectively shakes their heads, except Dazai and Ranpo, who appear to be asleep in their seats. "The closest we have to that is oseibo," Yosano says. "Which is sort of like, a end-of-year exchanging of gifts among family or coworkers. It's more of a traditional thing than a modern thing, though, and a lot of people don't do it anymore. Some people just give normal gifts, some don't."

"Kunikida and our director always get us oseibo gifts," says Kenji, kicking his feet under the table. "They're very traditional."

Yosano smiles softly at the younger girl's bewilderment. "You'll find that the way people celebrate this time of year in Japan really depends on where you are," he says. "We are simply not Christmas people."

"Oh-h," Lucy says, looking slightly disappointed.

Well, Atsushi can't stand for that. "Why'd you ask anyway?" he wonders, trying to get her to open up.

She sighs, twirling her tray in her hands. "Back in the orphanage I grew up in, we were made to do a Secret Santa to make the directors look good for the social workers," she says casually. "We mostly gave each other handmade things, like clothes we'd sewn or baked goods. It was probably the best time of year in that place… we all got along well then."

She looks slightly distant after that. The atmosphere around the table seems to change to a slightly dimmer one at the story and the implications of it. Kunikida especially looks rather sober, twirling his pen between his fingers. Atsushi thinks he is the only one apart from perhaps Poe who knows the full extent of what Lucy had gone through in the past, and frowns at her words before making a quick decision. "Why don't we do a Secret Santa this year?" he suggests boldly.

Lucy gasps softly, her whole face lighting up at the idea. "Oh, that sounds lovely," she says, and Atsushi can't help but feel good for making her smile.

"Excuse me," Kyouka says, shuffling forward in her seat. "What's Secret Santa?"

"It's a western thing," Dazai says without warning, sitting up and opening his eyes, and everyone jumps, especially Atsushi next to him. He must have been listening the entire time. "It's a bit like oseibo. Everyone draws names from a hat and has to buy a gift for the person whose name they drew without telling anyone who they have."

"But how would they know what to buy?" Kenji questions.

Dazai shrugs. "That's why you would normally do it with people you know well, I suppose."

The group glances around at each other. There is an obvious elephant in the room - Poe and Lucy are not very close with anyone in the Agency apart from their respective detectives that they're friends with. Anyone apart from Ranpo or Atsushi himself who drew Poe or Lucy's name would have a hard time.

Atsushi suddenly has a flash of genius. "Well, we could write gift ideas that we'd like on the papers with our names on them," he offers. "Then there would be no problems."

There's a murmur of agreement, and even Ranpo seems to be looking intrigued, having sat up on his arms and raised his eyebrows thoughtfully. "I suppose we could give that a try," he says, to Atsushi's relief. He knows that Ranpo's opinion on things is very important to the Agency, and if he'd said it was dumb, everyone would likely have agreed. "I wouldn't mind free candy."

Of course that's why. Atsushi suppresses a giggle and hides behind his hands, shooting Lucy a glance. She's practically glowing. "What do you think, Poe?" she asks, practically breathless.

Poe, who's been silent this whole time, startles at being directly addressed. "I think it sounds wonderful," he says, perhaps too eagerly. "If - if no one minds my inclusion. I know I am perhaps less of an official member of this group than Lucy is -"

Everyone rushes to reassure him except Ranpo, who rolls his eyes, but a moment later leans over to whisper something in Poe's ear that makes the man go bright red. Atsushi turns away, wanting no involvement in - whatever the dynamic between the two of them is. He instead looks to Dazai, who's also been awfully silent, and dares to tap the table in front of him to grab his attention. "Um, what about you, Dazai? What are your opinions?"

Dazai makes eye contact with Atsushi for a second before looking around at the others and eventually shrugging. "I suppose that sounds alright," he says easily. "It does sound like it'll be more exciting than Kunikida's oseibo gifts anyway."

Everyone cheers to drown out Kunikida's angry shouts, and the mood is raised by the time Lucy is called back to work.

They draw names the next day in the agency conference room, which at this point doubles as a lounge with the amount of times Dazai, Ranpo or even sometimes Yosano can be found snoozing or eating meals in here. Kunikida seems especially into the whole thing, making everyone sit around the table and write their names and desires for gifts on square pieces of paper he printed off especially for the occasion. "Everyone better be doing this properly," he says sternly. "I mean it. No messing around."

"This whole thing does seem very western," Naomi comments, more to Tanizaki than the whole group. They'd been filled in on the plan this morning when they had arrived for work, and seemed more than thrilled with the idea. "Writing little lists demanding gifts from coworkers - I love it!"

"Of course you do," Tanizaki replies fondly. "You just like getting presents."

"Who doesn't?" Ranpo says. He's opted to sit next to Poe instead of Yosano today, and the writer seems entirely delighted by this no matter how much he tries to hide it. "I think everyone should get me a gift regardless of whose name you get, actually, as thanks for keeping this agency afloat for as long as I have."

"We appreciate your work, Ranpo," Dazai says from across the room, entirely amused. He doesn't look like he's written anything yet, his paper angled in a way that hides his phone from Kunikida's view.

Atsushi is entirely stumped. It's taken him this long to realize he doesn't know what he wants. The orphanage had never been a gift giving place, not even at birthdays, and as far as things go he doesn't have much to want for. He has shelter, food and water, clean clothes on his back - what else could he need? He's struggling to think when Lucy shifts her chair closer to his and leans in, her dark chunks of messy hair brushing his face. "Are you having trouble too?" she whispers.

Atsushi nods, trying to fight back a blush as having her so very close to him. "I've never received many gifts in my life," he says softly, and her expression turns more solemn at the sentiment.

"Me neither," she says. "The price limit is making this harder than it needs to be."

Kunikida had set a price limit of 4000 yen to make things fair, and it's throwing Atsushi for a loop too, considering all he can think of to add are cheap things that he could buy himself. "Yeah," he says. "I don't really have much I want. Maybe I'll just do what Ranpo's doing and ask for sweets."

She giggles. In the background, Kunikida is smacking Dazai around the head and snatching his phone out of his hands. "I told you to take this seriously!" he roars, face beet red. "You've not even written anything!"

"I'm taking this terribly seriously," Dazai says in that tone of voice he uses when he is not taking something seriously. "Be a dear and hand my phone back, Kunikida, I'm in the middle of some very important business."

"What business could you be involved in that doesn't involve work?" Kunikida snaps, lifting Dazai's phone to read his text conversation. Dazai winces.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he says calmly, but it's too late. Kunikida pales and hands Dazai the phone back slowly, face contorted. Whatever he's seen has drained the anger from his face and replaced it with pure repulsion and embarrassment.

"You're disgusting," he hisses.

Dazai raises an eyebrow. "I tried to warn you."

The atmosphere changes when the Director, surprisingly, enters the room. The man always carries an aura of seniority, demanding respect in its own silent way. Atsushi has always been awed by the man, and slightly intimated too. In his first weeks here he was always sure he was going to be kicked out for any slight mishap, and had burst into tears when he'd been called into the Director's office for the first time without knowing it had been just a simple check in to see he was settling ok. Now, Atsushi knows that Fukuzawa Yukichi is terribly soft on his employees and has seen him nearly cry over a particularly adorable cat before, so his fear has all but alleviated.

"How is everything going?" he asks, his deep voice giving away nothing.

"Just fine," Kunikida says, shooting a furious glance at his partner, who's returned to his phone. "I think we're nearly ready to put the names together and draw them."

"The Director is participating too?" Ranpo asks, a note of delight entering his voice. Poe shoots him a curious glance at the change in tone.

The Director nods towards him, a warm smile crossing his face. "That I am," he says, and Atsushi jolts with surprise. He'd already been anxious enough about the idea of having to get the perfect gift for someone within the Agency, and now the Director was being added to the mix? "It seems a wonderful way to get spirits up in the office. A shame that Haruno won't be able to participate, but she has let me know she sends love from herself and her family from Tokyo."

"I've sent her a gift anyway," Naomi says brightly. She's now doodling on the corner of her paper, and her brother's too. "I got her a lovely cat blanket and some chocolates she really likes."

"That's very good to hear," says the Director, directing his attention to her now and making Naomi light up. "This is the type of camaraderie I'd like to see more around the office." He turns on heel to exit again, but not before sweeping the room with his eyes and offering smiles to each person. "I hope this will really strengthen the bond between us all here at the Agency. And, of course, between us and our wonderful guests. If there is anything we can do to help improve your stay, you may let us know."

He bows deeply and leaves. Lucy giggles, red in the face from being acknowledged and looking pleased. Poe has his head down, a small smile etched into his face.

A while after this Kunikida gathers everyone's papers and work resumes as usual while they wait for the man to do whatever he's doing in the meantime. Poe practically glues himself to Ranpo's side, and the parts of his eyes that are visible are wide with excitement as the detective engages in conversation with him that, from the sound of it, actually seems to be about something other than mystery novels. It does seem that Ranpo is simply bragging about his own achievements in the field of crime, but it's a step, and he looks as though he enjoys having such a captive listener. Across the room, Atsushi catches Yosano watching the two of them and makes eye contact. She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out before disappearing into her infirmary.

Kunikida returns about twenty minutes later with a bowler hat Atsushi doesn't recognize in his hands and a serious expression on his face. "All right," he says loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. "Line up here in front of me and get ready to draw a name."

Dazai appears out of seemingly nowhere and stands next to Atsushi, beaming. Kunikida notices this and points, stern. "You. Back of the line. Very back, Dazai - and Ranpo as well, for good measure."

"Excuse me?" Ranpo shouts from somewhere behind. "What is this discrimination? Do you even know who I am?"

Dazai huffs and stomps his foot like a child. "Kunikida! This is just not fair at all, why do we have to draw names last?"

"You know exactly why," Kunikida hisses, leaning close to Dazai's face. "You awful, sneaky bastard, no one here trusts you not to rig the names. We don't want another repeat of what you did before Atsushi's entrance exam."

"Before my what?" Atsushi asks, but he receives no response.

Ranpo shoves his way forward. "Hey!" he barks, waving his hands. "Why am I getting punished for what Dazai did? I had no involvement in that at all! I wasn't even there!"

Kunikida pinches the bridge of his nose. "Frankly, Ranpo, I don't trust either of you not to mess with the names!"

Luckily, at that point the Director walks in and Ranpo goes silent, obediently heading to the back of the line with minimal whining. Dazai looks entirely unbothered, humming with closed eyes, and Atsushi wonders if he really has something rigged the names anyway. He wouldn't put it past him.

Kunikida looks calmer now, holding the hat high above his head. "Everyone will draw a name," he explains. "You will not open them until I tell you so. I've sealed all the papers shut with tape so there is absolutely no chance of the names being in any way tampered with -"

He shoots Dazai a dirty look, to which the man only smiles and waves.

"Ah, whatever," Kunikida huffs. "Let's just get on with it."

So everyone sets about drawing names. Atsushi is near the middle of the line, and his heart is honestly racing with excitement as he grabs a piece of meticulously folded paper and stands aside with everyone else. Please not Kunikida, he prays, because he can already imagine the expression the older man might have upon receiving a present he didn't like and the thought of it is burning Atsushi up without even opening the paper. Anyone but Kunikida.

The best outcome would be getting Kyouka, Lucy or maybe Tanizaki, who he spends a good amount of time with during work and sometimes outside of it as well. He anxiously watches the last of the names get drawn, with Dazai being dead last and staring Kunikida right in the eyes with a smug look before making a show of swirling his hand around the hat, pretending he's picking a name. "Get on with it," Kunikida snaps, and Dazai rolls his eyes before pinching the paper and waltzing away.

"You're no fun," he sighs.

It's strange, seeing everyone in the Agency packed into one room like this, huddled around the walls and glancing at each other with nervous excitement. Even Kunikida seems pleased with how it's all gone down as he steps up front, clapping his hands together. "Alright," he starts. "When I say to open your papers, everyone will do so and not look at anyone else's papers, either." Another sharp glance at Dazai. "Is that understood?"

"Do those guys hate each other?" comes a voice beside him, and Atsushi jumps at Lucy sneaking up close to him and leaning in next to his ear. He laughs nervously.

"Nah," he whispers back. "They just enjoy irritating each other. Or, more like, Dazai enjoys irritating Kunikida."

"Dazai," Kunikida suddenly says. "You and Ranpo. Face the wall. Stop your whining, you know full well why I can't trust you two!"

"You know nothing can be hidden from Japan's greatest detectives," Ranpo complains in a warning tone. "We'll have it all figured out in about a minute anyway."

"Maybe two if we're a little slow," Dazai adds, but they both face the wall anyway.

"Alright," says Kunikida wearily. "Alright. We've all had enough of the suspense, I'm sure, and I just want to go back to work - everyone open your papers, then I expect to see everyone except our guests back at their desks or various other positions within five minutes, you hear, five minutes!"

No one is silent long enough to hear him finish talking. Everyone is rushing to open their papers, peeling back the tape and undoing the twenty or so folds that Kunikida somehow managed to get them into. Atsushi takes longer than he wanted to, fingers trembling with excitement. Once his paper is open, he freezes, staring down at the kanji on the page before him.

There's no way.

Dazai Osamu. The only outcome worse than Kunikida, one Atsushi hadn't even considered. Because surely, surely he wasn't unlucky enough after everything that has happened to him in the last year to pull Dazai's name.

And what's worse - what's worse is that underneath his name, where everyone was supposed to write some ideas for gifts, Dazai has left the page completely blank. Atsushi stares at it in utter disbelief, hope draining from his heart.

When he glances up, it doesn't take Dazai or Ranpo's brain to tell that some people are not happy about who they've ended up with. Lucy looks entirely deflated, which tells Atsushi she probably doesn't have himself or Kyouka, and Poe has actually gone white with shock, fingers gripping the page tight. Tanizaki is biting his thumb with anxiety. Naomi is frowning, eyebrows furrowed, looking thoughtful.

Kyouka, when she opens hers, actually squeals with uncharacteristic glee before clapping a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. The Director's expression, ordinarily stone cold, has softened a little into a small smile. Ranpo is grinning down at his paper wickedly, which, given that it's Ranpo, could mean literally anything. Everyone else has managed to keep their reactions under wraps, especially Dazai, who almost looks bored as he stuffs his paper into his pocket. He catches Atsushi looking at him and smiles in a way that gives away nothing. Maybe two if we're a little slow. Has he already figured him out just based on his face?

"Alright, back to work," Kunikida shouts above the small amounts of chatter that have broken out around them. "This is not an excuse to slack off! Dazai, do not even so much as look at Ranpo, you devious bastard! I see you two scheming away!"

"Kunikida," says the Director gently, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You're doing very well, but please, no need to stress. It's the holiday season, there's no need for all the fuss."

And Ranpo bursts into peals of laughter as the Director walks away, leaving Kunikida in open mouthed shock.

Poe corners him the next day when he's walking outside the Agency to the corner store.

"Atsushi, hello," the man says stiffly with an awkward, forced grin and a wave. He's dressed in a thicker jacket today, his hair pushed slightly aside so Atsushi can see his stormy eyes. "How goes it?"

"Ah, it's going well," Atsushi replies, unsure as to why Poe has approached him. He adjusts his bag on his shoulder to demonstrate that he actually has somewhere to be, trying not to be rude. "What's, uh, up? Is something wrong?"

"Not at all!" Poe says, far too loudly and far too quickly, before immediately hanging his head in defeat and sighing. "Ok, I lied. I actually have a query regarding the Secret Santa, if you would be willing to give me a moment of your time?"

"Uh, sure, man," says Atsushi. He moves further into the nearby alley, offering the pedestrians more room to walk. "What is it?"

Poe fiddles with a length of his hair, tugging on it as he talks. "Well, I am - I am aware that what I am asking really ruins the magic of the tradition of Secret Santa," he begins. "But I have been in great distress and I have to ask - oh, would you happen to have pulled Ranpo's name?"

Atsushi kind of figured what that had to be about the second he mentioned the Secret Santa. "Sorry," he says apologetically. "I didn't."

Poe sighs deeply, again. "That's alright," he says in a melodramatic tone. "I have unfortunately pulled the name of one I am not entirely familiar with - I really was relying on pulling Ranpo's name to participate in this, you see. I didn't exactly think about what I would do if I pulled the name of someone I did not know very well."

Atsushi grimaces sympathetically. "Sorry," he repeats. "I wish you good luck, though, I do."

Poe shifts on the spot, considering. "Would you be willing to swap with me anyway?"

Atsushi thinks about it for an evil moment, but decides against putting poor Poe on the spot by giving him one person who is almost certainly worse that whoever he already as. "You don't want mine," he says, "trust me."

"Ah, well," Poe sighs - really, how much can one man sigh in a conversation? "I wish you luck too, Atsushi, in your present buying endeavours."

They part ways from there, leaving Atsushi guessing who on Earth Poe could have pulled that could have made him look like that.

About two days later, Atsushi and Kyouka decide to take a train into Tokyo and visit the market in Hibiya Park. Kyouka has dressed for the occasion in a pretty red dress with swirling flowery patterns and white cuffs on the end. She seems to have really got into the holiday spirit, which pleases Atsushi greatly - he remembers how introverted and quiet she used to be, and is glad every time he sees her smile. Atsushi pays the admission and the two of them take in the sight of the park all dressed up for winter with tons of wooden stalls and colourful vans, lit up to the nines, an enormous Christmas tree standing tall in the centre of the park, glowing proudly. Everything as far as he can see is gold, red and green, and the people seem to reflect this in their wintery states of dress. Atsushi has to admit, he's a bit overwhelmed by the amount of conflicting noise and incessant flashing of lights, but the atmosphere and Kyouka's joy is enough to make it worth it. The two of them part ways after a few minutes of them gawking at every sight, Kyouka skipping away to find something for her Secret Santa.

Atsushi should be doing the same thing, but everywhere he looks he sees only things that he's sure Dazai wouldn't like, or would have no use for, or, worst of all, could even laugh right in his face upon receiving. He's well aware that Dazai is kind enough that he actually would never do such a thing, but the overthinking isn't helping. He groans, burying his face in gloved hands, and keeps trying.

The real issue is that Dazai is a man who acts as though he has nothing in the world to want. He never reveals any interest in things, only flipping through mangas or magazines that Ranpo or Tanizaki have just finished reading, and never making comments about wanting the way Naomi and Kenji sometimes do when seeing an advert on a billboard somewhere. He sometimes plays his DS or Nintendo Switch under the table at work, but Atsushi has no clue about what kind of games he actually likes. He's slowly realizing that he knows even less about his mentor than he thought he did. What on Earth does a man like Dazai have to want for? A man who was in the Mafia for years on what, Atsushi guesses, must have been a crazy salary? 

Oh, it's hopeless. Atsushi finds himself trailing circles around the market, even catching a glimpse of a giggly Kyouka at one point, unable to think of a thing.

He could always go for an ordinary safe gift, like one of those face care packs, or a bath bomb. But that just feels like cheating. Dazai saved Atsushi's life - he deserves far better than that. Maybe he could get him sweets like what Ranpo wanted? That's always a good idea. Maybe sweets and a bath bomb. Maybe, Atsushi thinks desperately, there's another edition of that suicide book Dazai's always reading that he might want to look at.

That's actually a terrible idea, he thinks not ten seconds later. He's running out of ideas. Very much so.

After a few more minutes of glumly dragging his feet, he gets in line at a stall and buys a slice of Christmas cake for himself and Kyouka to share. He finds her near the entrance, practically glowing with the cold in her cheeks and the grin on her face. "Finished already?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

"I have," she beams, and coos when she sees the sponge cake in his hands. They take turns eating chunks of it on their way back to the station. "Did you get something for your Secret Santa, Atsushi?"

"Yep," he lies. "Definitely. Loads of stuff."

He's up all night, tossing and turning with anxiety, and has dreams about faceless people chasing him with bags full of Christmas cake and papers covered in names, shouting about what a terrible gift giver he is.

The next day, on his break, he finds himself in the line at the cafe.

Lucy is at the register, as he has hoped she'd be, and she lights up at the sight of him. He feels his face warm as he offers her a grin he can't bite back. "Hey there, stranger," he says, then immediately cringes at how stupid that sounded. Luckily, Lucy seems to find it funny, which he could not be more grateful for. "Uh, can I get my usual?"

"Unfortunately, we're actually out of the creme brulee hot chocolates," she replies in her customer service voice that he finds kind of cute, not that he'd ever admit it. Her eyes twinkle as she stares at him across the register. "But I can make you my own drink I've been working on, if you like. Just for you. It's one of a kind."

He raises his eyebrows at that, holding back a laugh. "Well, if you insist," he says casually. "I'd be delighted to try a Lucy Original."

She snickers as she types something into the register. "I'm actually calling it a "Montgomery Christmas Special." I've been trying to get my manager to add it to the menu."

"Wow," Atsushi says, impressed. "It's the real deal then."

Lucy shrinks back, suddenly shy. "It's not as interesting as I'm trying to make it sound. It's red velvet and strawberry. Two of my favourite flavors in one."

"Ohh," says Atsushi. "Like the Starbucks drink?"

She looks up sharply, eyes wide. "The what?"

"Nothing," Atsushi replies quickly. "Just mixed it up with something else."

He pays and waits off to the side while a coworker of Lucy's comes to man the register and she begins making his drink. He watches her intently, trying not to look like a creep. He just… likes having her in his field of vision. It's comforting. Lucy is someone who understands him in a way no one else has in a long time, and she is a perfect contrast to everything he is while also somehow managing to fit perfectly into his life in a way that feels so right. There is something so good about knowing when he can come down from the chaos of work and see her working away behind the counter, swirling drizzles into drinks or meticulously counting someone's change. She is a constant that he enjoys more than anything.

Atsushi is sure Dazai or Naomi would have several jokes to make if they knew what he was thinking right now, but he doesn't care. He's taking his relationships at a pace he's setting for once, instead of having to rush into knowing someone because of life threatening danger. He is sure there will be more of that in the future, but the thought of ever having to fight on the opposite side from Lucy isn't something he wants to linger on, so he contents himself with watching her work instead.

She calls his name after a few minutes, setting his drink on the counter and winking. He grins breathlessly at her and doesn't think to look at the name she's written until after he's sat down in his booth. Cat boy. He'll take it.

He's just getting ready to head back up to work when Lucy comes and slides into the booth across from him.

"Won't your boss tell you off again?" he says uncertainly. 

"Nah," she grins. "We're not busy anymore."

He looks around, and sure enough, the rush has left. The man Lucy is working with is looking over at them with an exhausted expression, but overlooks what they're doing and turns back to cleaning one of the machines. Atsushi makes eye contact with the girl, and she sticks her tongue out playfully.

"So how's the drink?" she asks.

He raises it like a salute. "It's really, really good, actually," he says, and means it. It does taste a lot like the Starbucks drink, but he is not going to tell her that. It's less expensive, anyway, and it's made by Lucy, which automatically makes it better.

"Good," she says lightly, leaning back and crossing her arms behind her head. "So how's Secret Santa shopping?"

Ah. He's nearly forgotten. "Do you want me to be honest?" he says with a false laugh. "Not good."

He chews on his straw, staring at the table in front of them. Lucy hums sympathetically. "Mhm. I feel you."

"I was hoping to get you," Atsushi blurts without really thinking about it.

Lucy looks mildly disappointed. "So you don't have me? Oh, man. I suppose I can hope Kyouka got me then, she knows me quite well after all her time in here."

Atsushi tilts his head. "No hopes for Poe?"

"Nope," Lucy says, and giggles. "He was hoping I had Ranpo so he could swap. The poor guy is struggling, it's a little sad."

The bell on the door rings, but it's just someone leaving, their dirty tray abandoned on the table. Lucy doesn't move to go gather it. "What even is going on with those two?" Atsushi wonders aloud. "I mean, I don't even remember the moment Poe stopped constantly trying to one up Ranpo and started wanting his attention all the time instead. In fact, I don't even remember when he stopped being our enemy and started hanging out on our couch every week."

Lucy leans forward as if someone might be listening. "Don't you know? Poe is, like, madly in love with Ranpo."

Atsushi opens and closes his mouth like a fish. "He - really? Did he say that?"

This makes Lucy cackle, throwing her head back. "Does he need to say it for it to be obvious?" she says through her laughter. "I mean, come on. He's so utterly besotted with him and either Ranpo's genius brain has somehow not figured it out or he's stringing him along to watch him suffer. Poor Poe."

This is a lot for Atsushi to compute at once. "I didn't even know," he mutters. "I thought - I dunno, I just thought Poe liked the challenge of Ranpo's… general existence."

Lucy suddenly looks serious. "You are terrible at spotting love when it is right in front of you."

Atsushi and Lucy go tomato red at the exact same time, staring at each other without a word.

"I should get back to work!" Lucy squeaks, standing up so fast Atsushi has to recoil to avoid being whacked by one of her braids. "Seeya soon, weretiger! Make sure to recommend the Montgomery Christmas Special to everyone you know!"

Then she's gone in a flurry of red and black. Atsushi stares at the space where she'd been a moment before, processing, before taking a long sip of the drink still in his hands. It's warm.

Atsushi's last resort is none other than Kunikida Doppo.

It's a challenge to catch him alone and not on the phone or looking busy writing reports or shouting at Dazai to get your lazy ass off the couch and please, for God's sake, do at least one of the damn assignments I've given you! But Atsushi manages, and after a couple days of dancing around just interrupting the man and risking getting his head chewed off for it, he finds Kunikida making a pot noodle in the kitchenette by himself. Perfect. "Uh, Kunikida?" he says, making the man jump sky high. A great start. "Can I ask you something important?"

Kunikida adjusts his glasses and leans back against the countertops. "Of course," he says with a note of concern in his voice. "Is everything alright? Is anyone giving you bother?"

"In a way," Atsushi says grimly. He crosses the room to the cupboard, setting about making himself hot chocolate while he talks so he doesn't have to stand looking stupid. "It's about Secret Santa."

A stern look crosses Kunikida's face. "Ah," he says. "I worried about this."

Atsushi faces him, puzzled. "Worried about what?"

"You got Dazai, didn't you?" says Kunikida gravely.

Atsushi blinks.

"I knew it," Kunikida mutters, and grabs his pot noodle from under the kettle to stir it more fiercely than is needed. "I'm terribly sorry for you. I would have removed Dazai's name entirely if I were any more cruel, that bastard."

He isn't being serious. It had taken Atsushi a few weeks in the Agency to understand Kunikida and Dazai's dynamic properly, but he knows they care about each other a lot and that Kunikida spends a lot of time making sure his partner is eating and sleeping. Yosano once mentioned to him that the reason Dazai is so often taking naps around the agency headquarters is because he doesn't sleep a lot when he's at home, and Kunikida was the one to get the Director to allow him an allotted amount of time to rest in the safety of their presence. It's rather touching. "It's just that I don't know what to get him," Atsushi explains. He scoops chocolate powder into the milk he's poured, stirring absent mindedly. "He - um, he didn't write anything on his paper for gift ideas."

"He didn't?" Kunikida roars with a sudden burst of anger, and Atsushi flinches on reflex. "Sorry. Sorry. Agh, that ass, he always has to make things difficult on everyone else…"

Kunikida trails off and massages his forehead wearily. Atsushi watches him, uncertain.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"Am I ever," Kunikida mutters, more to himself, and then, louder - "I am, I promise. I just… I will admit I felt rather bad for that Montgomery girl. I am a man who's grown up rather privileged and - stuck in my own ideals, and I'm not used to doing holidays in a way that's different from how I've always done it. But I want this to be a good experience for everyone, especially our guests." He looks over at Atsushi, suddenly looking a lot older than he actually is. "I apologize for my outburst. I just stress myself out far too much…"

"It's ok," Atsushi reassures the man with a weak smile. He puts his drink in the microwave and sets the timer, feeling eyes on the back of his head. "I agree with you, I've also never -"

"What are you doing?" Kunikida suddenly interrupts.

Atsushi opens his mouth. "Um. I'm making hot chocolate?"

"In the microwave?" Kunikida says incredulously. His gaze is judgmental. "Why on Earth would you microwave milk?"

"That's just how we did it in the orphanage," Atsushi mumbles.

Kunikida softens and makes his way over to the younger man, pot noodle in hand, and claps his hand across Atsushi's back. "Next time," he says gruffly, "use the stove. Please. It takes longer, but it's worth the effort."

"Thanks for the advice," Atsushi says, then frowns as Kunikida disappears out the door. "Wait, I still - I still don't know what to do about my Secret Santa!"

Kunikida pops his head back around the corner. "I'm afraid it may be a lost cause," he says seriously. "If I were you - bath bombs and chocolate selections. That's the safest you can get."

Then he's gone. Atsushi stands alone, waiting for the ping to let him know his hot chocolate is done, before there is a sudden scuffle at the door and then Kunikida has appeared again, quickly walking up to Atsushi and bending down like he's telling a secret. "Tell no one I asked this," he whispers. "But would Kyouka happen to have a favourite sweet or dessert? Anything like that?"

Atsushi laughs, relieved. "She likes crepes a lot, but they probably wouldn't work as a present. I've found she enjoys most kinds of mochi, especially daifuku. Or manju. If you can get anything rabbit related, really, she'll enjoy it."

Kunikida nods. "Thank you for your assistance. I'm glad we could help each other out."

Then he's gone, and this time does not return. Atsushi removes his hot chocolate from the microwave and takes a small sip.

It's not as good as Lucy's.

He's getting very desperate by the time it hits December 19th, the day before the exchanging of oseibo gifts. The Secret Santa gifts are going to be given on Christmas Day, giving everyone a good amount of time to get everything they need. Kyouka has long gathered all her gifts and wrapped them neatly with the help of Demon Snow, putting them all in a pretty box wrapped with a bow. Kenji told him cheerfully the other day that himself, Tanizaki and Naomi had gotten all their presents over the course of several days shopping and he's pretty happy with what he's got. Atsushi tentatively asks Ranpo if he's done with his gifts, and he gets nothing but a laugh in return.

So it's safe to say he's running out of time. This means yet another attempt at a shopping run is due, so he escapes work as soon as possible and runs to the train station to head back to Tokyo Midtown, soon finding himself lost amongst seas of people chattering in many languages, carrying bags upon bags in their hands and laughing with each other. Atsushi feels terrible. What will he do if he doesn't have a good gift by the 25th? He'll have to quit the agency for sure. He'll have to run away and join the circus. Maybe he'll join the Port Mafia, he amuses himself by thinking. They definitely don't do Christmas gift exchanges over there. 

A half hour of wandering leaves him coming up with nothing. Dejected, he's thinking about going to grab something to eat for him and Kyouka tonight when someone grabs his shoulder tight and he nearly screams, whipping round on the spot in preparation for activating his ability if need be - but as it turns out, that wouldn't have been possible even if he'd tried. Dazai Osamu, easy smirk on his face as always, laughs at Atsushi's expression. "Testing your reaction times," he shouts over the noise of the crowd. "You can never be too careful, Atsushi!"

Atsushi signals for them to move somewhere less crowded and less noisy. Once they've found a free bench to sit on, he takes in the older man's appearance - he's wearing a long blue scarf and a beanie over his dark hair, and his jacket is fully buttoned against the cold. "Are you doing some shopping too?" Atsushi asks, curious.

"That I am," Dazai replies. He stretches his arms out with a sigh. "It's taken a lot out of me. I've been at it for hours."

Atsushi's about to ask if that's why he didn't show up to work today, but decides to leave that subject entirely alone. "You don't have any bags," he comments instead.

"Ye-ep," sings Dazai. "I haven't bought a thing yet."

"You're struggling too?" Atsushi asks before he can think better of it.

Dazai gives him one of those looks that makes Atsushi feel like his brain is being examined. "I'll admit I've been having some trouble," he says. "The price limit does make it difficult, doesn't it?"

Atsushi nods fiercely. "All the things I think are good enough to buy end up being way over the limit," he explains. "Making up my list was difficult, too. I ended up just having simple stuff like chocolate and bath bombs on there."

"Ah, me too," says Dazai. Atsushi bites back a frown and the urge to say that's not true before he gives himself away.

"I just didn't have enough time to think," Atsushi sighs.

"That Kunikida, rushing everything," Dazai gripes with a roll of his eyes. "Do you want to get food? I'll pay."

"Ok," Atsushi says, surprised, and follows the man through the crowd, gripping the back of his coat to avoid losing him. Dazai takes them to a stall where he buys them both pretzels and steaming cups of yuzu tea, which there isn't time to enjoy before Dazai is beelining away again and he has to rush to follow him. He finds Dazai by the water, where many people have gathered around to stare out at the boats strung up with lights and the beautiful city across the lake. Dazai is smiling softly, his drink resting on the fence separating him from the water. Atsushi stares up at him, unsure as to whether he should speak or not.

"I've never been a big fan of Christmas," Dazai says without warning, sending a jolt through Atsushi. Dazai almost never talks about himself in a serious sense, so this is a strange situation. "I lost a friend a few years ago during the Christmas season."

"Oh," Atsushi whispers. "I'm sorry."

Dazai's face changes from slightly forlorn to cheerful in almost an instant, and he reaches out to ruffle Atsushi's hair fondly. "It's alright now," he says. "He was a very good man, I'm sure he would have liked you. He took care of orphans. The first Christmas I knew him he took me out to KFC, which was insane to me, because you know how that place gets this time of year. To this day I have no idea what he must have done to reserve a place in the actual restaurant on Christmas Day, of all things."

"Wow," Atsushi says, awed. "That is impressive."

He's just taking in all that information he's just been offered when Dazai asks a question. "Did you do Christmas at your orphanage growing up?"

Atsushi blinks, a sudden heavy feeling settling in his chest. "Not really. We all went to the temple at New Year's, but that was pretty much it. None of us really did presents or anything like that." A lump catches in his throat out of nowhere and he coughs, hoping Dazai didn't notice. "We did get chicken for dinner, though. That was the best part."

He hopes he doesn't sound pathetic, but he probably does. Talking about his life before the agency took him in is difficult. Dazai doesn't look like he's judging him, however. "Good thing you're with us now!" he says cheerily, knocking back his tea. "I've never properly celebrated Christmas either. This year will be a first for us both, I suppose."

A smile spreads across Atsushi's face, and he looks away, face warm. "I suppose so," he agrees. He likes the idea of sharing this with Dazai, this first time Christmas celebration. Suddenly, he's even more determined to get Dazai something good for his gift, something to make a holiday he doesn't enjoy maybe a little better. "I'm pretty excited to see who everyone has for gifts. I've figured a couple people out, but that's mostly because they were fairly obvious. Do you know who has who?"

Dazai tilts his head, smiling serenely. "Honestly, no," he says, to Atsushi's surprise. "I'm certain Ranpo does, but I've actually not tried figuring it all out. I understand that Kunikida wants to make this fun for Montgomery and Poe, so I'm letting him have this. I don't want to interfere."

"That's nice," Atsushi says. His eyes widen. "Do you know who has me? Wait, don't tell me, I shouldn't even ask."

Dazai laughs, loud and real. "Atsushi, you are a funny guy. Who do you think has you? I personally hope Kunikida has me, I want to see him suffer over the agony of having to spend money on me."

Atsushi pretends to think, trying not to be obvious. So Dazai doesn't know he has him…? "Honestly, I've been hoping Kyouka has me. She knows me pretty well, and we're actually really similar. Which is good, considering we live together." He takes a bite out of his pretzel. "We both like Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Evangelion, and we always watch new Netflix stuff whenever it comes out. We're in the middle of about ten animes at this point."

"You have good taste," says Dazai, shaking his finger teasingly. "Ok, answer me this - favourite Pokemon?"

"Porygon," says Atsushi without hesitation. "Porygon and all its evolutions are really cool, even if they're not too useful. It just looks awesome. I like Espurr too. Or Eevee, if I'm allowed to say Eevee."

"Of course you're allowed to say Eevee," Dazai grins, "as long as you have other favourites too, otherwise I would have to say you were a loser. Next question - favourite Eeveelution?"

They continue like this for a while. It's nice, it really is, talking to Dazai like he's a friend instead of his senior. However, by the time the crowds begin to thin and the two say goodbye and go their separate ways, Atsushi realizes something - during that whole conversation, he barely learned a thing about anything Dazai liked apart from the fact that he knows a lot of Pokemon. Curse Dazai for starting off a conversation acting like he was going to open up and then proceeding to make Atsushi talk about himself instead!

He goes back to his dorm that night and groans into his pillow.

The Christmas season has not stopped crime from happening. It's three days before Christmas when Atsushi is given orders to go investigate a jewellers that was broken into overnight. "It's likely nothing we can assist with," says Kunikida when he gives him the brief of the situation. "Probably some petty criminal group wanting to get their hands on some extra cash before New Years, but they've asked for one of us to be sent out anyway."

"Just by myself?" Atsushi asks, trying not to sound like he would literally prefer to do anything else.

"Yep," Kunikida confirms. "Dazai was meant to assist, but for some reason he didn't want to be involved and then disappeared in that way he does when he's avoiding work. I searched for him downstairs and it seems he's just gone. That asshole."

Well. Atsushi's been sent out to represent the agency by himself before, but it's still anxiety inducing. On his way there, he tries practising conducting himself the way the Director does, walking with his head high and back straight, wishing he could command respect wherever he goes in the same manner. Maybe that's just a part of getting older, he thinks. Hopefully he can learn with time.

However, when Atsushi gets to the address of the scene, he finds it all entirely closed off. There is a clean up team already there, and they avoid Atsushi's confused looks and stare straight ahead of themselves instead. "Um, excuse me," he says, unsure. "I'm a detective representing the Armed -"

"Nakajima," comes a familiar voice, and Atsushi yelps as he turns as fast as he can. Standing behind him is none other than Nakahara Chuuya, dressed in a long black jacket and a grey vest, arms crossed across his chest. Ginger hair falls into his stern looking face from under his hat. He makes for a very intimidating presence. "What're you doing out here, huh?"

Atsushi stammers, his practised confidence immediately failing him the second it's put to the test. "Ah, ah," he tries, shrinking under the mafioso's gaze. "I was sent here to represent the Armed Detective Agency - we were requested to come here and gather information about - ah, the break in?"

"Already sorted," Chuuya says. His expression hasn't changed since he first set eyes on him. "I've got no damn idea why anyone got you guys involved when this jewellers is mafia property. I'm afraid to say it was a mistake. You're not needed." He waves a hand dismissively, already turning away. "Thanks anyway."

Atsushi should count his blessings and just leave, but he's suddenly curious. "This is mafia property?" he asks, stepping slightly closer to the front of the store. The windows have been entirely smashed in, and the interior looks more or less empty.

Chuuya sighs deeply and faces him again, this time looking more tired than anything. "It's really none of your damn business," he mutters, no malice in his voice. "Listen, kid, I'm sorry you had to drag your ass all the way out here for nothing. We'll pay you for your time anyway, alright?"

"Oh, th-thank you," Atsushi stammers, a little thrown by the gesture. "I appreciate it. You're sure there's nothing that needs done at all?"

"Absolutely so," says Chuuya.

"Alright," mumbles Atsushi. He kicks his feet, not sure whether he should leave now. "Um… you don't have to answer, I just want to - why is a Port Mafia underboss at the site of a little break in? Was something important here?"

Chuuya snorts. "Didn't I say it was none of your business? I used to have connections here. I'm sure that fishy bastard would tell you all about it if you ask."

A touch of bitterness enters his tone when mentioning Dazai, and an idea strikes Atsushi, an idea so stupid he thinks he would have more of a chance making it home alive if he just ignored it entirely and left now. But - he's desperate. Very desperate. It's the 22nd of December and he's fairly certain he's the last Agency member to still be looking to buy a gift. And Chuuya… Chuuya is right here already. Maybe this is a sign. Yeah, a sign you should get out of here before doing something dumb, says someone in the back of his mind, maybe his voice of reason or common sense.

"Um, Chuuya," he says, and cringes at the way the man's gaze flips to him with the force of the sun. "Or - Nakahara, sorry, I don't know which name -"

"Just call me Chuuya if it makes it easier," Chuuya mutters.

"Ahh, ok," Atsushi squeaks. He's beginning to regret this. "Ah… Well, I wanted to ask you something. Are you, uh, still busy here?"

There's a flash of curiosity in Chuuya's eyes, and he furrows his eyebrows, looking as though he's weighing his options. "I'm not," he says eventually, making Atsushi's heart leap. "What's the problem?"

Progress. "Well, I'm pretty sure there's a coffee place near here," Atsushi says. "If we could go there to talk, I'd be willing to pay?"

Chuuya stares at him for so long that Atsushi thinks about making a break for the train station. It's only when the man says "Fine, whatever," and turns to bark a few more orders at what Atsushi presumes are his subordinates does he finally relax. Then Chuuya sweeps past him, coat flying behind him in the slight wind, and the two of them walk entirely in silence.

There is something a little funny about seeing a mafia underboss hold the door for a teenager in a Starbucks. Atsushi will laugh about it later when he's not afraid of imminent death. He orders that red velvet strawberry drink that was so like Lucy's, wanting to compare them, while Chuuya gets a simple espresso. Atsushi feels a little childish, but the other man says nothing. When they finally sit, Atsushi lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, wiping sweat off his palms on the legs of his pants.

"So, uh," he says nervously. "Where to start."

Chuuya looks thoroughly unimpressed, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"If this is something that bastard's put you up to," he says lightly. "I'd recommend not going through with it. I could kill you right here and not a single person in this entire building would even know."

Atsushi feels faint. "Right! Ok! Ah, it actually - it does have to do with Dazai…" He recoils under the look the mafioso gives him. "But he didn't put me up to it! I swear! I didn't even know you'd be out here today!"

"I'm sure he did," Chuuya mutters, an interesting tidbit of information Atsushi will process later when he's sure he's not going to actually die before he gets to make any use of it.

"Anyway," he says, trying to steer the conversation into safer waters, which really aren't much safer at all. "You, um… You know what Secret Santa is, yeah?"

Chuuya's face could wither entire fields of plants. "Ok!" Atsushi says shrilly, squeezing his hands around his cup. "Well, basically - you remember the Guild, I'm sure, and how they ended up dissolving after we took them down and everything, all of that… well, we kind of ended up accidentally befriending two of them, and they've been staying at the agency a lot lately." He refuses to look up at Chuuya's face anymore. Is this information he should be giving a mafia underboss? Fuck, he didn't even think of that before he started. Too late now. "This is their first proper Christmas in Japan, and we wanted to make it good for them because they've, uh, helped us out a lot in the past and whatnot…"

He feels the colour drain from his face when he remembers one of the ways they had assisted them was when Ranpo and Poe used the latter's ability to trap Chuuya in a book. He tries to skim past it in the hopes that he won't realize. "So when they mentioned the concept of a Secret Santa we decided it'd be a fun idea to do around the office!" he blurts out. "And so we all agreed to try it, and we drew the names of everyone in the agency and of the two ex Guild members and -"

"There's no need to continue," Chuuya says calmly, and Atsushi looks up in surprise. Chuuya's face is unreadable, and he's leaning back in his seat with his arms folded. "I think I can understand what your problem is."

Atsushi isn't sure whether to be relieved by the amusement in his voice or scared by it. "You - you can?" he asks, grimacing with anxiety.

A sudden sound sends a shock through Atsushi's body. Chuuya is laughing, head thrown back with the force of it. "You pulled Dazai's name," he says once he's calmed himself. "And you don't know what to get him. That right, weretiger?"

Atsushi goes entirely limp, the tension finally leaving his body. It's all in the open now, at least. If Chuuya is going to kill him, he hopes it will be quick. "That's right," he says, mildly defeated. "I haven't been able to figure it out for weeks now. He's so - Dazai is just so -"

"Much of a dick?" Chuuya offers. He, too, seems more relaxed now, though Atsushi can't understand why. "Stubborn? Irritating? Impossible?"

"That last one," Atsushi says, giggling nervously. "We were supposed to write some ideas for gifts we'd like to receive under our names, but he just - didn't. So I don't have any ideas for him. He never talks about his interests or anything, he doesn't ever talk about his personal life -"

"Yeah, he's an ass," Chuuya agrees. He spins his hat on the table absently. "So you think I'm gonna be able to give you ideas for a gift, huh?"

"That's what I'm hoping," Atsushi says, and holds his breath.

Chuuya studies him for a moment, and Atsushi notices that Dazai and Chuuya are similar in the way they make you feel as if you're under a microscope. It's a very intimidating gesture. He thinks pointing out the similarity will definitely get him killed, though, so he does not.

"Sorry, kid," says Chuuya suddenly. "I can't help you."

Atsushi deflates, heart dropping to his stomach. "What?" he cries, nearly spilling his drink. "Why not?"

Chuuya stares out the window, watching cars go by as the sky gets darker. "I don't know what Dazai has told you guys at the Agency about our relationship," he starts. "But the two of us were never friends."

Atsushi pauses. "You weren't?"

"I know, shocker," says Chuuya sarcastically. "Dazai was my partner in work and work alone. He hated my guts, and I hated his, and that was just how we were. The reason we worked together was because our combat skills and our abilities went well with each other. That was that."

"But Dazai said you two were friends," Atsushi says weakly.

Chuuya huffs. "Dazai talks a lot of shit." He glances at Atsushi, bringing his drink to his lips. "Did you seriously believe that guy?"

"I didn't have any reason not to," Atsushi mumbles. "I actually thought you guys were -"

He cuts himself off, and good thing, too, because Chuuya immediately leans forward into his personal space with the crimson glow of his ability activating around him. "Thought we were what?" he hisses. "What did you think we were?"

"Nothing!" Atsushi yelps, leaning back and lifting his hands to the side of his face. "Nothing, nothing at all, ple-ase don't kill me!"

Chuuya sits back, satisfied. Atsushi shakes, gulping hard and thinking, I should really write a will at some point.

"Whatever," Chuuya says like nothing just happened. "I can't help you. Sorry, kid."

Atsushi lets a sigh escape him, lowering his head almost to the table. "Ok," he says quietly. "Thank you for your help, I really appreciate you giving me your time, I know you must be busy -"

"Don't grovel like that," Chuuya says flatly.

"Ok," Atsushi nods frantically.

He gathers his things and prepares to leave, dejected. It's only when he's about to reach the door that he hears Chuuya behind him say, "Stop."

He turns, hope fluttering in his heart. 

Chuuya is still sitting forwards, but slowly swivels around to look at him. He's - smiling, Atsushi notices, blinking as if it's not real and it will suddenly change in a moment. "I admire your guts to ask a mafia underboss to a Starbucks to talk about getting his worst enemy a gift," he says. "And I admire your dedication to getting your coworker a good gift instead of a copout like a bath set or some shit like that. Sit back down, weretiger. I'll give you any advice I've got."

Atsushi lingers for a second before his body allows him to move again, and he slides into his seat. Chuuya is smirking, leaning against his fist. "I can't stand that guy's ass," he tells him. "But I don't mind you. I hate to admit that Dazai can do anything right, but I think he chose well, having you as his new protégé."

It's another moment before Atsushi can speak. "Thank you," he says hoarsely, and Chuuya gives a stiff nod before finishing off his drink. Atsushi follows suit, taking his first sip since he arrived in here. The drink is good, but not as good as Lucy's. He decides he'll let her know at some point.

"Alright then," Chuuya says. "Let's start."

Christmas Eve comes and goes without incident, apart from Dazai slipping out of work without telling a soul and returning an hour later with a slap mark across his cheek that he refuses to talk about. Atsushi and Kyouka can barely sleep that night out of excitement for the next day. They stay up late watching a foreign Christmas movie to get themselves into the spirit, and he ends up spending a lot of time pausing it and attempting to explain to the confused younger girl why certain characters are doing what they're doing at certain points in certain places. After nearly an hour and a half of Kyouka very seriously pointing out plotholes that Atsushi doesn't know how to figure out, they end up sleeping next to each other, the presence of the other making their night easier to bear.

They head straight to the office the next day without even making breakfast, which is fine because Kunikida and Yosano have actually cooked a whole meal in the kitchenette for everyone to share. Slowly, the agency members start to file in, colourful bags and boxes in hand, with Poe and Lucy showing up together nearly last and looking rather nervous. Lucy sits next to Atsushi, and Poe looks rather lost until Ranpo waves him over, mouth full of pancake and fried egg. Tanizaki and Naomi sit in one seat, pressed up against each other, while Kenji sits cross legged on the floor with an unopened bottle of Ramune next to him. Dazai, wearing what looks like pajama bottoms under his usual coat, sits at the back of the room by himself after shooting Atsushi a grin and a wave, which he reciprocates.

The Director is the last to come in. Ranpo leaps to his feet as soon as he sees him, pulling a red Christmas hat from his hat and pulling it over the older man's head. Unsurprisingly, the Director smiles at his antics before gently telling him to go back to his seat, and Ranpo does so, whispering something to Poe that makes him laugh.

Kunikida, sitting at the front of the room, is looking better this morning, the eye bags that have been deepening in colour over the last couple weeks finally starting to fade. "Shall we finish eating or exchange presents now?" he asks, which seems to surprise everyone in the room - Kunikida is not a person to offer choice when it comes to schedules, being a man who plans everything so meticulously that he panics when being off by even five minutes. Everyone seems rather excited, though, and they all agree to exchange them now. Atsushi shovels the last of his breakfast into his mouth, making eye contact with Lucy and giggling at the ridiculousness of it all.

"I've developed what should be an easy system," Kunikida says. He has his Ideals notebook in hand, to no one's shock, and he flips through it to find the page he needs. "The first person to go will offer their gift, and whoever is receiving will go next, making an easy, consistent cycle that shouldn't cause any problems. Are we all ok with that?"

"Get on with it," Ranpo boos, and Yosano smacks him upside the head.

"Sounds like a plan," she says over Ranpo's yelps of ow, ow, ow.

Kunikida nods, fixing his glasses and finishing his scouring of his book. Dazai raises a glass of whatever he's drinking to the room before tipping it back. Yosano, who has a similar glass, does the same. Kenji opens his Ramune bottle with a hiss and takes an obnoxiously loud gulp, which makes Kyouka and Naomi laugh.

"Ok," mutters Kunikida, and then, louder: "Does anyone want to volunteer to go first?"

Everyone glances around each other. "I would," says Kyouka suddenly, sitting up with a shy smile and holding up her prettily wrapped box.

Even Atsushi isn't sure who she's going to give the gift to, but isn't surprised when it turns out to be Kenji, whose mouth drops open at the sight of her present. "Here," she says softly. "Sorry if it isn't very good."

"Oh, it looks nice, Kyouka," Kenji breathes, and begins to unwrap the ribbons very carefully. The room is silent for about thirty seconds as he struggles with a knot before it seems Kyouka becomes too impatient. There is a sudden blue flash, and then Demon Snow has torn through the ribbon in one clean slash.

"I got it for you," she says.

Kenji looks a little disappointed. "I was gonna keep the ribbon," he says, but puts aside the pieces anyway before opening the box and gasping. "Oh!"

A little plush cow, and a sweet little cut-out craft kit. "I thought you would enjoy making that," Kyouka explains, folding her hands in front of her. She's very good at hiding how she's feeling; Atsushi wouldn't even be able to tell she was nervous if he didn't know her well.

"I love it," Kenji cries, and stands to throw his arms around Kyouka. She stiffens for a moment before relaxing, her smile finally allowing itself to show.

Kenji gives his gift next, which is in a bag that he presents to Yosano. She's delighted to find out that he bought her a box of wagashi and a pair of gloves that Atsushi is certain someone must have advised him to buy. Then it's Tanizaki, and Yosano has bought him chocolates, a set of pencils and a complex colouring book about fish, which Atsushi thinks he won't like because it's childish, but the boy goes pink and gives Yosano an awkward hug and a large smile before thanking her profusely.

Next is Lucy. Atsushi sits forward, looking somehow more excited to see what she got than she is. "I hope you like it," Tanizaki says, scratching the back of his neck as she gleefully opens the bag he handed her. Inside is a blue headband and a pair of earrings with little raggedy dolls on them, alongside a book of sewing patterns. Tanizaki shifts nervously on the spot, waiting for a reaction.

"Oh-h," Lucy breathes, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Oh, it's perfect, thank you so much!"

To Tanizaki's surprise, she leaps up and falls into his arms in a hug with a laugh, and he yelps before relaxing and allowing it to happen. "Ahaha, I'm glad you like it," he says, grinning weakly and glancing at Atsushi behind the girl's back. Atsushi offers him a thumbs up and a smile, and Tanizaki looks relieved. Atsushi wonders how he knew Lucy liked sewing if she didn't put it on her list - he is actually starting to think that the lists were almost entirely useless, and vows to tell Kunikida in case they do this again next year.

Lucy has Naomi, and has gotten her a bag of chocolates and a makeup set that she seems very excited for, and the two hug as well, looking delighted. Naomi has Kunikida, and gleefully presents him a set of fancy pens and coffee pods, which makes him break a real smile for the first time all morning. Then Kunikida brings out a box that he hands to Kyouka, who gasps at the sight of how prettily it's wrapped. "It's lovely," she murmurs. Once opened, she reveals a set of bunny-related items: a bracelet with a bunny charm, a bunny keychain and a packet of rabbit shaped manju. Her face fills with delight, and she looks up at Kunikida shyly. "Thank you very much," she says, cheeks dusted pink.

"Of course," Kunikida says gruffly with a firm nod. He looks a little embarrassed at the attention. "Apologies if it's too many bunnies. It was really all you had on your list."

"I love bunnies," Kyouka says seriously.

Everyone in the room then realizes they've come full circle and they need to pick who goes next. "Poe," Dazai suddenly chimes in, causing the man to startle hard from where he's sitting. "How about you go?"

Dazai's smile is mischievous. Atsushi glances around the room and realizes who he must have gotten moments before Poe stands, looking slightly paler than usual, and makes his way over to the Director with his bag in hand. "Um," says the writer, terribly eloquent. "I do hope you like it. I apologize if it's not up to standard."

The Director takes the bag carefully from his hands. "Thank you, Poe," he says, expression unreadable as he removes a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a small box of chocolates, and a planner patterned with cats on it.

"It may look as though I went above the price limit, but I assure you, I'm simply very good at budgeting," Poe stammers, clearly anxious about the Director's immediate lack of response, but then the older man laughs, causing Poe to immediately silence himself.

"I appreciate this very much, Poe," says the Director. He pats Poe on the back firmly, and the writer flinches before breaking into a relieved smile. "You know your wines. I actually enjoy this one."

"Ah, I'm glad," Poe breathes, not even hiding how anxious he'd been. "I had a friend who knew a lot about wine in the past, he taught me a great deal."

He sits back down, looking far less tense.

The Director gets to his feet, still smiling, but now in a different way, more fond. Across the room, Ranpo begins talking loudly with a smug grin. "Isn't everyone excited to see who our wonderful Director had to buy a gift for?" he asks. Yosano rolls her eyes beside him. "I, personally, think whoever the lucky person is must have gotten the best gift -"

"Quiet, you," the Director scolds, but hands Ranpo his gift anyway. Atsushi laughs as he understands. "I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out."

"I'd honestly be offended if you didn't," Ranpo scoffs, and rips the wrapping off his gift without care. Inside is an assortment of sweets, as was to be expected, but there is also a book near the bottom. Ranpo actually laughs as he picks it up. "Hey! I used to love this series! I didn't know they'd come out with another one!"

"See," says the Director warmly, "there are things you don't know sometimes. Humble yourself a little."

"Nooo, thank you," Ranpo says with a wrinkled nose, but leaps off his seat to pull the Director into a very quick hug anyway before immediately sitting and pretending it hadn't happened. 

Then, Ranpo gets back up with a sigh. "Ah, yes. I forgot that I have to give up my gift as well now." His eyes are mischievous, flashing under the light. "Whoever shall the lucky recipient be?"

Atsushi jolts when those emerald eyes land on him, then on Dazai, then finally slide over to Poe, who freezes under the detective's gaze.

"Hah?" Poe exclaims, hands clenched in his lap. "You had -?"

"Poe, my greatest rival!" Ranpo shouts. There are giggles rising from around the room. No one seems surprised that Ranpo is making this into a game, and most everyone seems to be finding Poe's utter shock very funny. Lucy has her hand over her mouth to suppress the sounds she's trying to let out, and Atsushi wonders if she had somehow known. "I spent a very long time thinking on what could possibly be the perfect gift for such a wonderful adversary, who'd offered me much entertainment over the course of the last few months and, I guess, also saved our Agency several times from certain doom." He points at the man then, waggling his finger. "Not that we couldn't have done it without you! But - but! I will admit your ability is useful. Perhaps your brain is, too, when you try. You have become a worthy opponent -"

"Is this a crime scene now?" Yosano butts in, and everyone except Poe laughs.

Ranpo entirely ignores her. "Therefore," he continues. "I have decided to give you what is perhaps the greatest gift a man can have!"

He opens his arms theatrically.

"My respect," he says, very seriously.

Poe opens his mouth, glancing around the group uncertainly. Atsushi blinks. Oh, surely Ranpo didn't -

"I'm joking," Ranpo deadpans. His arms fall to his sides. "I got you a gift, of course, did you believe me?" He returns to his seat and pulls out a bag from beneath it. Unlike the decorated bags everyone else has used so far, Ranpo's is a plain plastic one. "Here you go."

He tosses it unceremoniously onto Poe's lap. "Leave it to Ranpo to make himself the star of the show," Kunikida mutters, but he's smiling.

Poe still looks unsettled and hasn't yet said a word. However, as soon as he looks inside the bag he lets out a small gasp. "Ranpo," he breathes. "I told you these aren't in print anymore."

Ranpo has gotten Poe what looks to be a set of old books that don't look all that interesting to Atsushi, but Poe is staring at them like they're diamond plated. "I have my ways," Ranpo says in a mysterious tone. He does look rather pleased with himself, returning to his original cross legged position on his chair.

It takes a moment of stammered thanks before Poe seems to realize there is something else in the bag, a plainly wrapped box. Poe stares at it, puzzled, for a little too long.

"So?" says Lucy, clearly impatient.

Poe has turned a dark shade of red.

"It, ah," he starts, fiddling with the box in hand. "There's a message that says to open it later."

Ranpo looks entirely unashamed. He's already popped one of the bags of sweets from the Director and has a mouthful of them when he next speaks. "Yep," he says, and nothing more.

Yosano and Dazai burst into cackles at the same moment. Atsushi looks around to see if he's correct in thinking there are strange implications to this - Kunikida has buried his head in his hands, the Director has sighed and left the room, and everyone else seems to be equally uncertain as to what they should be thinking. As he scouts the room, Atsushi's eyes land on Dazai - and then the realization hits him. Dazai has stopped laughing and is now smiling serenely instead.

"Hello, Atsushi," he says pleasantly.

"You -" Atsushi starts. Suddenly it all makes sense. "When you met me in Midtown the other day, that… that wasn't on accident, was it?"

Dazai's eyes widen comically. "Atsushi, my friend, what are you accusing me of?" 

Without warning, Kunikida stands and points at Dazai directly. "I have a bone to pick with you!" he shouts. "You did not follow the instructions of Secret Santa as you were asked to do! Nowhere on your paper did you offer Atsushi any ideas as to what to buy you!"

"Why did you know who Atsushi had?" Naomi asks, suspiciously.

Atsushi holds his hands beside him. "I didn't tell him, he just figured it out!"

"Who cares," Yosano says, tucking her feet up on her seat. "Poe was running around asking anyone he could find to swap with whoever had Ranpo."

"That's -!" Poe yelps, covering his face with his hands. "I should tell any clients you have here that this agency isn't to be trusted to keep a secret!"

"Everyone is so obsessed with me," Ranpo sighs, waving his hand like it's a casual thing. "Can we finish the present exchange now? It's not exciting now that I've got my gift."

Atsushi feels terribly awkward, staring at his gift to Dazai as a wave of anxiety washes over him. What if Chuuya had lied to him? He wouldn't have done that, would he? Surely he wouldn't. He seemed like such a nice guy.

"Hey, Atsushi," comes a voice, and he looks up to see Dazai standing before him with a bag in hand. He's offering it to him. "I'll go first if you want. Here."

Atsushi hesitates before taking it. Everyone in the room is paying attention, curious as to what Dazai could have possibly thought to buy someone as a gift. Even the Director has returned, lingering silently in the doorway. Atsushi supposes Dazai is extremely unpredictable, but it can't be bad, right? A million possibilities cross his mind. Maybe it could be bad. He hopes it isn't, because he won't be able to act as if he likes it if it's something terrible.

Unable to wait any longer, he removes the present and unwraps the paper to reveal - Atsushi laughs at the sight of it, and Lucy leans in to ooh and ahh. An expensive looking figurine of Porygon and its two evolutions together, still in the box. "You were quizzing to me to find out what I liked!" he accuses, but he's grinning like a madman. Kyouka crawls over to him from her position on the floor and gasps, looking just as excited as he is.

"Do you like it?" Dazai asks, hands in his pockets nonchalantly. If Atsushi didn't know any better, he'd think the man looks nervous, waiting for a confirmation.

Atsushi passes the figure to Kyouka and stands up to pull Dazai into a hug.

"It's so cool," he declares, muffed against Dazai's chest. Atsushi hears his breath catch, and it's a moment before Dazai's arms come down around him to pat his head gently. Warmth rises in Atsushi's chest at the contact, and he finds himself sighing deeply against him, content. "I should have noticed you were just trying to figure out what to get me!"

Dazai's laugh rumbles in his chest. "I can be very sneaky when I want to be, Atsushi!"

Then he pulls away, and Atsushi notices everyone in the room is aww-ing at the scene in front of them. He goes pink, then remembers he is the last person left with a gift still to give. "Right, ok," he says, breathless, and reaches beside him to hand Dazai his present. "Um… for you."

Dazai accepts it, and Atsushi holds his breath. Please don't let Chuuya have lied to me, he thinks desperately as the man smiles and begins to undo Atsushi's messy wrapping. He's more nervous than he thinks he ever has been, even throughout all the fighting and conflict of the last year. He almost would prefer to be facing off against Fitzgerald again, rather than this.

The main present is revealed, and Atsushi rushes to explain as if it needs any explanation. "I thought maybe you might need a new pair. I, uh, heard you complaining about one ear being broken a couple weeks ago."

"God, it's agonizing to think about Dazai for longer than is necessary," Chuuya groans, grimacing. Atsushi swirls his drink around in his cup, afraid to say something that might upset the other man. Chuuya seems to notice and rolls his eyes. "I don't bite, you know. Right, question - does that asshole still always have a pair of headphones in his ears?"

Atsushi thinks, then nods. "He's always irritating Kunikida by playing it too loud and singing along."

"Hasn't changed a bit," Chuuya grunts. "He used to always be listening to shit on these awful quality headphones, and they'd break every two fucking days so he'd steal mine instead. I got him a pair of nice ones once just so he'd leave me the hell alone, and they lasted him a good amount of time. So." He glances at a watch on his wrist. "There's another idea. Do you need me to keep going?"

"If it's alright with you," Atsushi replies, resisting the urge to giggle like a child at Chuuya's following groan.

Dazai holds up the headphones, a decent quality brand on recommendation of Chuuya, and the corners of his mouth lift. "Wow, Atsushi, these are nice. And what's this -?"

He takes the second item out of the bag.

"Would you maybe have sweet recommendations or something?" Atsushi asks. "We've got a price limit, so most people will probably get one big thing and, like, a sweet as well, or -"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Chuuya waves him off. He looks entirely bored. "He was never a snacks kinda guy when I knew him, but one thing I knew he liked were these matcha macademia chocolate things. There was a specific brand, I'll Google it and write it down for you. He was always stealing those from me too, the bastard."

Atsushi tilts his head. "There, uh, seems to be a common theme with things Dazai likes being things you had that he wanted."

Chuuya, on his phone Googling like he said, sighs deeply. "Fucking child," he mutters. "He's like a four year old."

Atsushi has enough sense not to respond to that.

Dazai raises his eyebrows when he sees the chocolates, and for a moment the fear that he'd been played rises back up in Atsushi's chest - then the man laughs, and he relaxes with relief. "I love these!" Dazai exclaims, seemingly delighted. "You have a good sense for good chocolate, Atsushi!"

With that, all the gifts are opened and the entire Agency begins to collectively chatter and move around their chairs to form groups with people they wanted to talk with. It is, technically, still a work day, but the atmosphere is a lot more calm than usual. Even Kunikida is engaged in conversation with the Director, looking relaxed with a faint smile on. Both Ranpo and Poe, who Atsushi is sure are the gossip subject of at least one or two conversations right now, have vanished somewhere without saying a word. Everyone knows that dinner has been preordered and that later that day they will sit down to a meal, Lucy and Poe included, and all the excitement will come to a peak. Yosano will surely get far too drunk, and Naomi will surely want to do karaoke - that is one thing Atsushi isn't looking forward to. Karaoke when Naomi is leading is scary.

Atsushi turns to whisper something to Lucy, only to find she's disappeared to chatter with Kyouka, who looks very happy, waving her gifts around to show them off. Atsushi is laughing at their antics when the seat next to him is suddenly filled.

"Good Christmas, Atsushi?" Dazai asks with a grin. He has his gifts on his lap, Atsushi notes with pride.

"I would say so," he says gleefully. He grabs his present from the floor next to his chair and holds it, examining it through the box now that he has the time. "This is just so cool, Dazai, I don't even want to know how much it cost."

"I stayed within the limit," Dazai promises, raising a hand, "don't worry."

There is a moment of brief silence between the two of them before Dazai wonders, "Atsushi, did you ask Chuuya for gift recommendations for me?"

Atsushi chokes on a sudden gasp of air. Dazai pats him on the back until he finishes coughing, red and spluttering. When he's finished, Atsushi turns to stare at the other man's face. There is a spark of mischief in his eyes. 

"How did you know?" Atsushi finally asks, defeated.

Dazai folds one leg over the other, leaning back in his chair and watching the oblivious Agency members talk amongst themselves. "The job you were sent out on the other day," he explains. "I organized the hit on that store. Don't worry, it's only Port Mafia property, it's not a big deal. I was also the one who sent in the request for a detective to visit the scene. I knew Chuuya would be there and really, I just wanted to see what you'd do."

Atsushi does not know what to say to this.

After a few moments of excessive blinking and holding his hand over his mouth, he simply says, "Why?"

Dazai shrugs. "I knew you were struggling with what to get me. I thought I'd direct you to the person that knew best."

This gives Atsushi pause, and he stares at his knees, unsure of whether to go on. "He acted like he didn't know what I should get you at first, but he seemed to have a whole list."

A laugh from Dazai, a genuine sounding one. "He knows me well," he says, prideful. "Even if he claims not to. The chocolates gave it away, for the record. I almost never see anyone buy this specific brand, and it was too much of a coincidence."

"Oh," Atsushi says, almost disappointed. "Well, uh. I hope you still like them?"

Dazai rips open the bag and pops one of the chocolates into his mouth as a response. "I do," he confirms with his mouth full, and offers the bag to Atsushi.

"No, it's alright," Atsushi replies, shaking his head. "They're your Christmas present."

The older man just shrugs, tilting his head back and shutting his eyes. Atsushi thinks the conversation is over until he hears, "Did he say anything else about me?"

He sounds genuinely curious. "The conversation sort of was entirely about you," says Atsushi. "He said a lot of things I probably shouldn't repeat."

Dazai snorts. "Predictable Chuuya. I'll have to thank him for helping you out next time I see him!"

"Please don't," Atsushi begs, heart skipping a beat. "I feel like he might kill me by crushing my head with gravity or something and that's actually not how I want to go out."

"Oh, he wouldn't," Dazai says certainly. "He likes you."

Atsushi furrows his eyebrows. "Really?" he says skeptically. "But we're not even on the same side. How could you know that?"

Dazai shoots Atsushi a look, fit with a wicked smirk. "I know everything."

"Hm…" Atsushi considers something for a moment. "Can I ask you something?" he blurts before he can change his mind.

Dazai raises an eyebrow, turning to give him a look. "Yea-h?"

"Um," Atsushi hesitates. "Were - were you and Chuuya ever friends, or just - coworkers? You kind of act like… like you're friends that hate each other, somehow. I was just wondering." He's rambling, embarrassed. "Chuuya said the two of you weren't friends."

When he looks back up at Dazai, there's an expression on his face that he can't quite interpret. He's still smiling softly, but his eyes have changed, darkened. "We weren't," he confirms lightly. "Do you think myself and a puny hatrack like him could get along? Eugh."

He shudders dramatically, then gets to his feet and disappears from Atsushi's sight.

The evening isn't eventful. Dinner arrives and Lucy and Kyouka sit on either side of him, the former delighted to learn that KFC on Christmas is, in fact, a tradition in Japan and wasn't something made up. Yosano gets as drunk as everyone expected, and she spends the evening bothering Kunikida as much as possible while he tries to ignore the incessant noise. Kenji and Kyouka eventually take their food and disappear to the main office to sit on the floor and begin making up Kenji's craft kit. Tanizaki and Naomi leave first, then the Director, and at some point Kunikida leaves without saying anything, evidently tired. Ranpo and Poe return briefly to grab their things late in the evening, both evidently having been up to something or other with the latter having rumpled clothes and swollen lips and grinning nonstop in a way Atsushi hadn't seen him before. Everyone cheers for them as they leave.

And if Atsushi lets Lucy walk him to his dorm room, and if she happens to spot something hanging above their heads that she swears is mistletoe, it's no one's business but his.