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Gon looked down at Killua, he was laying there, wrapped in his arms, softly snoring into the silent night, so tenderly that it could be mistaken for a purr. His long eyelashes closed, hiding beneath them the door to Gon’s entire world. Maybe it was a bit odd, but he couldn't stop thinking back to the start of the Hunter Exam, by the simplest of questions, he met the person that, in a blink, shook him up to his soul.
Gon, before then, had spent the entirety of his small life pursuing his father, in search of understanding, how could you leave a part of you, your very own creation, your children, behind ? What could push someone to this extent ? He wanted to understand that more than he wanted anything else, and more, he wanted to know, know the man that had haunted every moment he spent growing up without ever actually being here. Gon would look at other children sometimes at Whale Island, he would see them playing around with their father sometimes, maybe piggyback riding through the street or playing on a swing, no matter the circumstances, they’d always have a smile on their faces, carefree glee, unknowing of the horrible feelings twisting Gon’s stomach. Prickling through his veins to fill him with unforgiving, desperate jealousy.
But then there was Killua. Killua who lived through so much pain, who’s first memories of life had been pain. Killua with these scars unending on his skin, smiling with him, laughing with him, fighting with him, crying with him. Killua whose soul sang of nothing but soft yearning for what his childhood never gave him, but with rough hands and whetted nails. And this very Killua cared for Gon, loved Gon. Killua gave Gon a reason to get stronger, to get better, to try. Without even seeking to, Killua slowly made Gon realize that spending your life trying chasing after someone who never cared for you simply isn’t worth it. But he couldn’t act surprised, the moment Gon and Killua had finished the run of the first part of the Hunter Exam at the same exact time, he knew he had met someone who’d be with him for life. Somewhere in his twelve year old brain, he had understood that Killua would be the person in his life that he’d follow anywhere, the person for him.
Killua stirred in his sleep, nuzzling against his neck with a small mumble and Gon couldn’t help the gentle smile that came on his face. He held Killua nearer and closed his eyes, after all, he was never much of a thinker.