Chapter Text
(WARNING! THIS WORK IS A PART OF A SERIES, AS WOULD A SERIES OF NOVEL BOOKS! Please head up to the series and click part 1 to get started. This story is a mystery genre, reading out of order will spoil the mystery for you.)
The day was August 5th. Dawn was rising over the horizon. New York City was destroyed…yet saved. Leo’s body ached, his mind dizzying. But still, he forced himself to smile.
“Eww! Are we in Staten Island?”, Leo whined as he swung his arms up in front of him.
“Come here!”, Raph smiled as he opened his arms wide, tears watering in his eyes.
Everyone squeezed in for a hug, smiling and relieved. They all stared at the sunrise marking the start of a new day. A new future where the world was safe from the wrath of the Kraang.
Leo felt numb for a moment. He was smiling and yet…he didn’t feel… happy . He should be happy right now, shouldn’t he? Something wasn’t right. No…something was seriously wrong—
Cough. Hack.
Oh. That’s what was wrong.
“Leo! Are you okay?!”, Raph shouted as he immediately loosened his embrace. Mikey and Donnie quickly followed and pushed away.
Leo gulped for air and it tasted like copper coins. His ears began ringing and sound became muffled. He tried to speak but there was something in his throat. Leo sputtered and coughed again, now spitting out blood. Out of the corner of his blurred vision, he saw Donnie moving his hands in sign. Ah, Donnie’s having a meltdown. I don’t blame him. Leo’s vision was too faded to understand what his figurative twin was signing. But soon, Raph scooted back and slowly lowered Leo’s head onto his brother’s lap. From this angle, he could see Donnie better yet his vision made it difficult to read the softshell turtle clearly.
“...stay awake.”, was all Leo was able to read. Stay awake…okay…I can do that.
Leo looked up at Raph who was staring down at him concerningly. Raph’s face was close enough that Leo could see his expression. …Why is Raph crying?
Wait…what was happening again? Leo didn’t know. He felt tired. His eyes began to droop.
“Stay with us, Leo! Donnie’s getting help!”, Mikey yelled as he grabbed Leo’s hand. Huh…his arms looked super bright and pretty. Like a glowstick. Leo liked glowsticks. It was just one of those random little things he admired.
“Leo… please say something!”, Raph’s voice cracked. Leo felt a sore pain in his heart. He hated seeing Raph cry… Oh! Maybe a joke will cheer him up. Leo’s lungs weakly rasped for air.
“...okay…Knock knock.”, Leo mumbled.
“...what…?”, Raph whispered.
“Knock…knock…”
“...W-who’s there?”, Raph smiled weakly.
“Says.”
“Heh…says who?”
“Says me…”, Leo forced his widest smile until a sharp pain in his jaw seized him from grinning anymore.
He felt his lungs give in to an invisible pressure on his plastron. Something felt stuck underneath and it was incredibly painful to breathe. Leo tried to alleviate the pain by holding his breath for a moment before he couldn’t hold it long enough and began hyperventilating which only backfired his plan. He felt warm blood go up his throat again. Leo lurched his neck forward as he coughed and choked on the vile-tasting fluid. Raph gently pressed Leo’s forehead back down, petting softly.
“On their way.”, Donnie signed as he knelt down in front of everyone.
Mikey’s voice chirped as he held Leo’s hand tighter. Tears were streaming down his face. No…no, Mikey…don’t cry.
“Hey…little bro…”, Leo rasped.
“What? What is it, Leo?”, Mikey said hastily as he gave his attention to his immediate older brother.
“...Knock knock.”
“...Leo…”
“Knock…knock…”
“...okay…who’s there?”
“...s…snow…”
“Snow who?”, Mikey let out a light chuckle through his tears. There’s my little bro, Leo’s worries relaxed.
“...snow use…the joke……is………………over…”
“...Leo?”
“Leo!”
“LEONARDO WAKE UP!”
Leo jolted awake and had a huge coughing fit. Bright white lights blinded him. Leo’s panicked breathing was accompanied by the sounds of multiple voices gasping and screaming different things all at once.
“OMIGOSH! LEO! HE’S AWAKE!!!”
“HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!!”
“LEO! JUST BREATHE, OKAY? JUST KEEP BREATHING.”
Leo’s eyes blinked repeatedly, adjusting to the brightness. Where am I? His lungs hurt. His shell hurt. His leg hurt. His jaw hurt. His head hurt. Everything…everything hurt. The lights were too much. The sounds were too loud. His mouth tasted strongly vile with blood. It smelled disgusting too.
When Leo’s vision was restored, he found himself in a room. It was really really bright. He was on a…what were they called? It was…a medical bed…with…wheels? On his right was Raph, April, Dad, and…uh…that guy…that guy…Oh! Casey Jones! And on his left was Mikey and…where’s Donnie? Donnie’s hand rested on Mikey’s shoulder but his body was crouched down on the floor. Donnie quickly sprang up with a determined look, tears waterfalling. He immediately reached for a breathing mask and then connected it to Leo’s face.
Donnie reached over the bed for Raph’s hands. He guided the hands onto Leo’s face, one hand on his chin and one on his forehead. The motion pushed Leo down onto the pillow as the hands helped keep his head tilted back. His breathing became much easier, though his chest was still in excruciating pain. Donnie signed something to Raph that Leo couldn’t quite pick up until the purple turtle ran out of his field of vision. The lights began to beam again. Leo dropped his eyelids to block it.
“Hey, hey, hey! Stay with me, Leo! Keep those eyes open.”, Raph demanded sharply. Leo reluctantly followed and stared at Raph, his breathing wheezed. “Hey, buddy. You’re going to be okay, you hear me?”, Raph smiled. Leo tried to nod but Raph’s hands kept him still.
“...yeah…hear you…”, Leo muttered almost inaudibly.
“Do you know where we are right now?”, Raph asked softly.
Leo glanced his eyes around, resisting head movement. The ceiling looked familiar. It was metallic and curved. The tip of the walls looked familiar too. But that didn’t give Leo much information. It was a subway car but Leo knew it wasn’t his room because this car was much wider. It’s somewhere else.
“...home?...”, Leo guessed pathetically. Close enough, right?
“Yeah…yeah, you’re home…”, Raph’s smile widened as his voice croaked. “Do…do you know how we got here?”
Leo thought for a moment. Well…they were on…an island? So they would have taken…
“...the…ferry?”, Leo’s voice gently squeaked. Raph’s smile dropped.
“N-no…No—Leo, the ferries are closed. Remember? We used the turtle tank in amphibious mode. Pops, April, and Casey picked us up.”, Raph replied with a worried look on his face, eyes beginning to water. Aww…Raph’s crying again. I…I gotta make him feel better… , but before Leo could say another word, April and Mikey got up close to him.
“Hang tight, Leo. This is going to sting really bad.”, April stated sternly. …What is she talking about?
Suddenly, something cold pressed down on his arm. It burned really bad. Leo winced, sharp-pained breathing making its way through clenched teeth. Then, something began poking and tugging at the source. Leo flinched and tried to squirm his arm away but a bunch of hands were holding it down.
“Leo! Try not to move! You’ll mess up the stitches!”, April exclaimed. S…stitches???
Leo looked down without moving his head, trying to see over his snout and breathing mask. Donnie was further down, next to April and Mikey. Dad was next to Raph and Casey was further down next to him. Wherever they were, something cold pressed down. Then it burned. Then it poked and tugged. Leo let out a whimper, his lips quivering. Why…why is everything hurting?
“Shh…you’re okay, Leo. You’re okay.”, Raph soothed as he rubbed his thumb on Leo’s forehead. …please…make it stop…
“Alright, that should help with the bleeding.”, Casey’s voice cut through the silent cries. Casey took a breath. “...Hold him down. We need to set his leg.” Wait…set my WHAT —
Raph’s hands moved away from Leo’s face as Raph shifted behind the bed. The alligator snapping turtle pressed his hands firmly on Leo’s shoulders. The specific weight felt incredibly familiar. Footsteps began shuffling as everyone evenly surrounded Leo, pushing their hands down on his arms and legs. Leo tried to move his head up to see what was going on but he couldn’t find the strength to do so.
“On three.”, Casey called out.
Leo relaxed his head down.
“One…”
He looked up at Raph’s face, which was upside down to him. Raph’s brows furrowed with a serious look.
“Two…”
“I’m sorry.”, Raph whispered.
Huh ?
“Three.”
Snap.
Leo gasped sharply before letting out a piercing scream. His jaw strained in excruciating pain as it dropped wide open. He tried to lurch forward but he couldn’t. He tried to kick and swing his arms but he couldn’t. Everytime a limb broke free, a pair of hands buckled it back down again. Leo screeched in pure agony. His jaw gave into a sharp pain as it locked open for a moment before snapping back in place with a pop. He craned his head forward before Raph slammed Leo down and—
The Kraang slammed Leo down deep into the rubble. Leo felt something in his plastron snap as he coughed up a splotch of blood. One of his katanas swung into the prison dimension. As intended.
“Leo! Please! I can’t lose you again!”, Casey cried through the communicator.
“LET—LET ME GO! L-LET ME GO!!!!!! PLE—ASE!!!”, Leo screamed, his voice raspy and strained as he stuttered in distress. Leo now understood why being pushed down like this felt familiar. It was a trigger. Reminding him of…
“And now…haha…my wrath will be reserved for you alone.”, the Kraang chuckled cruelly. He began swinging blow after blow upon Leo. The hero felt too weak to respond.
“ PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO—HAVE TO LET ME GO!!! I—I NEED TO SIT UP!!!”
“Leonardo, relax! You’re okay!”
“You think you’ve won, you WRETCHED…LITTLE… PEST !!!”, the Kraang screamed as he slammed Leo through the ground. Leo blearily opened his eyes as he slowly glanced over at the photo of a distant memory in his hands. A memory from a timeline that no longer exists. A family that is no longer dead. Well…except for him now.
“YOU DON’T UN—UNDERSTAND!!!! IT—IT HURTS—IT HURTS!!! I NEED TO GET UP!!!”
“What hurts, Leo?!”
“ E—EVERYTHING!!! ”
Leo smiled weakly as a tear rolled down his cheek. They’re safe now. It’s time for me to go. They will all be okay now.
“WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!!!”, the Kraang shouted before landing another fierce blow. His leg snapped.
“I-I got it set now! Hang on, Sensei! I’ll get you some pain killers!”
“ PLEASE STOP!!! MAKE IT S-STOP!!! I CAN’T TAKE IT—I CAN’T TAKE IT!”
“You’re almost done, little brother! Hang in there!”
Leo screamed ever louder than before. Why couldn’t they understand?? They were all right there with him!
“LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO—”
A needle stuck into his arm and soon…all the pain washed away. He felt numb again. Leo began sobbing and gave up on trying to move. Exhausted and frightened, the young hero laid there helplessly, tears streaming down the sides of his face. Casey quickly stepped closer to his sensei’s side and cradled Leo’s cheek in his hand. Casey smiled.
“No tengas miedo. Yo estoy aquí.”, Casey sang softly. Wait a minute…that’s…that’s our song……How does he know this?
“Cierra los ojos y centrase en mí.” It was a lullaby Leo wrote as a kid. The turtles would sing it to each other whenever one of the tots had a nightmare or something. They’d still sing it sometimes to this day.
“Cuando está oscuro, yo estoy aquí. Cuando es malo, yo estoy aquí. Cierra los ojos y centrase en mí.”
Leo’s eyelids felt heavy. He slowly let them close. He felt himself drifting off …No…I don’t want to fall asleep again…
“...d-don’t…don’t make me go back into void…”, Leo whimpered under his breath.
His mind sank into the black.
A piercing cry rang out in the distance. Leo suddenly woke and confusingly frog-blinked his eyes open. He felt fuzzy and numb. Thank fucking pizza supreme. The lights were still blinding. His head felt like shit.
“Donnie!”, Raph shouted before running out of the med-bay.
The bed was now reclined slightly upwards at an angle. A cool breeze on his face was letting him know that his blue mask was missing, along with the rest of his accessories. A mushroom plush was cradled in his arms. It was like a squishy marshmallow. It belonged to Mikey but Leo just couldn’t quite remember its name. Mikey quickly got up and followed Raph out of the room as well. April began running across too.
“W-what’s…happen…?”, Leo slurred.
“Leo! Hey, baby brother. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”, April smiled at him before she hurried out of the subway car.
Squealing and screeching continued to echo down the hall. The voice cried out, struggling to form words. Soon, it was accompanied by pleading voices. Within a few minutes, the crying suddenly stopped. And then after a couple moments, Leo could barely hear whimpering and whining. Leo took a moment to look around him more.
He was left alone in this room for a bit. The breathing mask was still on, blasting warm air at Leo’s face. But it didn’t hurt to breathe now. There were bandages and gauzes wrapped around deeper wounds and patterned band-aids on the smaller ones. The sky blue cast on his leg was covered in doodles, signatures, and “get well soon” messages. His plastron and shell were tightly wrapped in more bandages and gauzes as a huge dark red stain soaked up the center of his chest. A soft rubber clamp gently pinched a finger, connecting to a screen that made a rhythmic low beep off to the side. A needle dug into his right arm, halfway down the forearm and another needle in the back of his hand. The forearm needle connected to a tube dripping dark red liquid. The back hand needle connected to another tube dripping a clear liquid. Both bags hung from a metal stand next to him on his right.
The strained whining grew closer. Big heavy footsteps and small light footsteps echoed closer towards the med-bay. Raph carefully made his way inside, cradling Donnie in his arms and Mikey following behind. Donnie’s battle shell was now missing. His face looked pale (for a turtle) and quite horrified. His arms were raw with bleeding scratch marks as Donnie continued itching away at them furiously.
“Donnie…?”, Leo weakly called out.
“Leo! You’re awake!”, Mikey shouted with excitement as he quickly ran over to the red eared slider’s side.
“Shh…keep your voice down, guys.”, Raph hushed as he sat Donnie down in another gurney parallel to Leo’s left.
Donnie slowly crawled onto his stomach, softshell facing upwards. Leo took a long look at it. The entire carapace was smeared with yet another shade of dark red. Heheh…it kinda looks like…
“Jelly toast.”, Leo giggled.
No one else seemed to have the same sense of humor. Raph and Mikey stared at him dumbfounded while Donnie held up his middle finger. April came rushing in the room, water bucket in tow.
“Alright, Don. Let’s get you cleaned up.”, April spoke softly as she set down the bucket and partially blocked Leo’s view of his brother. She reached into the bucket, wringing a wet hand towel before handing it to Raph and reaching back for another towel.
Leo craned his neck to see what they were doing before Mikey grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away. He noticed that he was about to fall over the edge of the gurney and followed Mikey’s intention. Leo looked down at the arm holding his shoulder, realizing that bright orange lines glowed brightly through the bandages that wrapped from the hand to the bicep. Almost too bright for Leo. A few glowing cracks still peered out on Mikey’s fingers and shoulders. Mikey’s body was also covered in patterned band-aids and gauze. His mask and accessories were missing as well, showing Mikey’s small orange freckles that were normally hidden under the mask. Leo’s eyes widened with concern.
“What happened to your arms?!”, Leo shouted. He was so confused and felt embarrassed that he didn’t register it earlier.
“Shh, not so loud! Donnie needs quiet.”, Mikey hissed. “D-don’t worry about my arms. They’re fine.”
Leo’s eyes watered. Donnie’s hurt. Now Mikey. …What about Raph? He snapped his head back around and tried to get a look at the oldest who was hidden from view behind their found sister. Raph’s right eye was wrapped and covered in bandages while the left side of his shell was covered in a red plaster casting mold wedged into the cracks. He was also without his usual outfit, replaced instead with bandages. Raph’s hurt too…This is all my fault… Leo quietly sobbed, snot dripping from his snout underneath the breathing mask. I was such a fucking asshole to them. They all got hurt because of me. I put everyone in danger.
“Leo, it’s okay. Don’t cry.”, Mikey soothed as he held Leo’s cheek with one hand and wiped away the tears.
They should’ve left me in the prison dimension. They’re better off without me. The tears streamed down his face and soaked Mikey’s bandages. The snot on his snout tasted salty as it rubbed against his beak. Leo heaved for the air blasting against his face, trying to breathe. I was never good enough for them. I kept causing everyone trouble. Why don’t they hate me? —
“Are you hurt again? We can get some more painkillers.”, Mikey asked softly.
Leo looked up at the youngest who was holding a kind gentle smile. Leo immediately felt bad for crying in front of him. Mikey had always been so sweet. Why is he always so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.
“...no…no, I’m fine.”, Leo lied.
He reached his hand up and tried to wipe away the tears that refused to stop flowing. Mikey turned around and reached for something on the counter behind him. As he turned back, a tissue box was hovering over his hand.
“Woah! How’s it floating like that?”, Leo shouted in a whisper.
“Oh yeah. Casey told me that in the future, I got levitation powers. He said that I’d use them all the time!”, Mikey replied as he carefully lowered the flying box of tissues onto Leo’s lap. “...I’m still trying to figure it out though. There’s a factor of object weight and impeccable concentration.”
Leo snagged a tissue and began to clean his face, holding back the urge to cry even more and wanting the tears to just stop. Mikey helped too by pulling down the breathing mask and wiping the snot before adjusting the mask back on. Leo smiled as a way to thank Mikey, suddenly feeling too drowsy to talk. I really don’t deserve this.
The lights seemed to beam brighter and Leo swore he could hear it buzzing. It was too bright and too loud. Something was seriously wrong with his brain. This must be what one of Donnie’s overloads feel like… All of a sudden, the lights began to flicker. No, wait—It wasn’t just the lights…the whole room was flickering. How was that possible? Leo tried to look back at Mikey but he couldn’t move his head, or even his eyes. His eyes…oh wait…that’s what this flickering was. Leo noticed that it wasn’t the room that was the problem, it was his eyes. They were blinking repeatedly and he couldn’t get it to stop. It made his head hurt with dizziness as his stomach churned with a nauseous feeling. Why wasn’t it stopping? Make it stop. Make it stop! Leo tried to take a deep breath to calm down but—...that wasn’t working either! His lungs refused to move. What the hell is going on? What’s happening to me?! Why can’t I breathe?? Why can’t I stop?!? Make it stop! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT —
Leo immediately gasped for air. Panting heavily as the suffocation came to an end. Distantly noticing, he was now lying on his side, resting his head underneath a hand. April was standing up close in his face while holding his other hand tight.
“He’s coming back! It’s okay!”, April alerted. She patted Leo’s hand before gently setting it down. “I’ll be right back!”, his sister called out before hurrying out of the med-bay.
What the fuck just happened? Everything felt like Leo had time-skipped a minute or two. The lights were still blaring, Leo shutting his eyes tight. Another hand grabbed his hand again. It was smaller and its grip was oddly weakened.
“Leo? Are you okay?”, Mikey asked.
Leo tried to peek an eye out but the strange orange glow pierced through his vision, causing Leo to immediately shut it closed again. He was scared. So many things have been happening at once. Even long before they got home. The entirety of last night was such an ordeal. From chasing down Hypno and…that worm dude no one cares about… To Casey Jones landing on their doorstep, knocked unconscious by April. To the Kraang emerging from the portal. To Raph sacrificing himself while Leo stupidly went after the key. To fighting the Kraangified subway train. To finding Raph like…like that … To Donnie getting ripped from the Kraang ship. To Raph almost killing him. To that whole fight with the Kraang mid-air . To Leo being left alone to fight. To begging Casey to close the portal behind him. To the Kraang beating him up relentlessly, Leo waiting for the sweet release of death to take him away already. To an orange light shining behind him. To Staten Island…hugging… Cough. Hack. —
“Can we turn off the lights?”, Mikey asked.
“Of course.”, Raph answered affirmingly. Within a few moments, there was a click and the bastardly damned blindness was over. “Is that better, Leo?”
Leo peered out again. The glowing scars in front of him were still annoying him but this was still much better. Leo nodded, staring distantly into the dark.
“What…what happened…?”, Leo muttered. His tongue hurt. Did I bite it?
“You had a seizure, that’s what.”, April replied as she waltzed back in the room.
April walked over to Leo’s side. A bottle rattled into her palm. She set the bottle down on a table next to her and grabbed Leo’s shoulders, gently shifting him back onto his shell. Leo didn’t resist, despite his dizzying head pleading otherwise.
“Here, buddy. Take this. It ain’t much but it’ll help.”, April handed him a pill and a cup of water.
Leo did as he was told without further questions. He just wanted whatever this was to go away albeit he didn’t even fully understand his own injuries. Everything hurts. I hate it. That’s all I need to know. He'd rather not press anyone on what went down. Leo didn’t want to see anyone upset again. Leo sighed and leaned his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes. Why couldn’t I have died? I wouldn’t have had to deal with this pain. As if reading his mind, Donnie let out a small whimper in reply to that thought. Leo didn’t bother to look over at him. I don’t want to see him upset again. I can’t . The rumbling sound of wheels squeaked closer to him.
Tap . Tap .
Leo winced and once again peeked open one eye and looked directly down to his left side. A three fingered hand, wrapped in bloodied bandages, reached out to him from the other gurney that was now moved closer to his side. Leo slightly rolled over and slid his hand underneath the other and held it as tightly as his weakened body allowed. His eyes wandered from the hand, up the arm, and followed the blood-soaked bandages to his disaster twin’s chest.
“You ok?”, Donnie signed with his free hand. Leo assumed it was a question, since he wasn’t reading Donnie’s face.
“ Ha ...Not quite. But we’re getting there.”, Leo smiled.
He hesitated for a moment still before finding the courage to meet Donnie’s gaze. Affirming Leo's fear, Donnie was crying. His expression looked tired, Leo finally noticing and taking in what happened to him. His mask was also gone, along with his battle shell and all of his accessories. Donnie was lying on his side, leaning more to his stomach, the blanket only draping over the bottom half of his softshell. The softshell in question was tightly wrapped in even more bloodied bandages. The Kraang ship…he got hurt because I asked him to fly it. Leo remembered seeing it with his own eyes. He shuddered. Donnie curled his fingers around Leo’s hand tighter and softly smiled.
“I think it’s time we all get some shut eye. It had been a long night for everyone.”, April chimed in calmly.
“But…I don’t wanna leave them like this!”, Mikey whined.
“We can’t fit everyone in here, king. But it’s okay. Leo and Donnie got each other’s shells.”, Raph patted Mikey on the head and smiled, looking between the purple and blue turtles.
“Yeah! We’ll check up on them in a few hours, just to be safe. Sound good?”, April spoke kindly as she placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder.
Leo and Donnie looked at the three standing at the foot of the beds. Leo glanced back at Donnie, noticing his reassuring smile. Leo smiled back at everyone.
“We’ll be okay, Miguel. Don’t worry.”, Leo nodded, determined. Mikey gave a sympathetic smile.
“Promise me you’ll shout if you need anything!”, Mikey stated.
With that, April, Mikey, and Raph left the medical subway car. Leo let out a soft chuckle before turning his head back to Donnie. He was instantly asleep, gently snoring. Leo felt his eyelids give in. He tried to fight back the drowsiness, afraid to slip back into unconsciousness.
His mind sank into the black once again.
“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!”, a young bright voice chimed.
Before Leo opened his eyes, he distantly noticed that the room lights were dimmed but it wasn’t harshly bright anymore. He pried his eyes open to see Mikey up close in his face, a smile beaming in front of the orange freckles across his face. He was now wearing heart patterned arm-warmers that covered the glow-crackling bandages and a pair of old oversized artist pants that were now forever stained with paint.
“I’m up, I’m up.”, Leo yawned and stretched his arms. Everything still felt fuzzy and his headache made the room spin. But Leo still tried his best to be sober for Mikey.
Leo noticed that the breathing mask was no longer on his face and the blood transfusion needle was no longer on his hand. Though the IV in his forearm and the heart monitor clamp attached to his finger were still there, the quiet beeps began to annoy him. He distantly took note that he was feeling a bit better…despite the severe head injury…and broken leg…and well okay he still felt like absolute shit.
Leo glanced over at his genius brother as Donnie yawned as well, carefully sitting up and crossed his legs. Leaning a bit forward so as to not disturb his injured softshell. Raph was standing over by Donnie’s side, holding two bowls in his hands. He handed one of the bowls to Donnie and walked over to Leo’s side and reached over to give him the other bowl. Leo took a look inside, it was steaming hot macaroni and cheese.
“Ah sweet, thanks. You make this, Mike?”, Leo asked as he placed the food in his lap.
“Well…”, Mikey looked down at his arms, frowning. He quickly shook his head and flashed the biggest smile he can muster at Raph. “Raph actually cooked! I sort of supervised, haha.”, Mikey said excitedly and chuckled.
Leo scooped a piece into the bowl and took a bite. It was pretty damn good. Leo nodded, “I see…nice work, big brother.”
Leo turned to look at Donnie who only stared at the food on his lap. His expression twisted as his shoulders tensed. Donnie slightly leaned back, as if he was trying to avoid the mac n’ cheese like the plague.
“What’s wrong, Don? Isn’t this like one of your favorites?”, Leo asked, distantly noticing Raph’s mild disappointment.
Donnie nodded but still looked at the bowl with disgust. His fingers clenched around the bowl for a long moment. He then immediately shuddered and pushed the bowl off his lap, setting it down in front of him.
“Slimy.”, Donnie signed.
It didn’t take long for everyone in the room to quickly read what’s going on. Leo also slightly grimaced at his food as well. It does seem very…Kraang-like.
“I’m so sorry, Donnie! I can go get you something else!”, Mikey exclaimed sympathetically. He added, pondering, “Hmm, okay, let’s see…what’s a food Donnie likes that isn’t slimy…?”
“What about…uh…toast?”, Raph joined in.
“Can’t go wrong with toast! Unless you’re a fucking millennial and put avocado on it…”, Leo joked with his signature confident smile.
Mikey laughed. “Howzaboutit, Donald?”
Donnie paused for a moment, brows furrowing (which looked funny to Leo since Donnie’s mask was gone). He sighed and looked at his bowl.
“Yes.”, Donnie signed as he nodded.
“Okay! You just want butter on it or…?”, Mikey asked.
A cruel mischievous thought came to Leo. His smile widened as he slowly looked over at his disaster twin. Donnie glared back with a scowl.
“ No jelly. ”, Donnie signed deliberately. He gazed back at Mikey, “Butter is fine.”
“...okay.”, Mikey muttered as he flashed a quick cringed look at Leo.
He started towards the entrance of the subway car before he stopped. Leo could see a frown from his little brother’s side profile. Mikey spun around and smiled wide, eyes squinting up. “Come on, Raph!”
Casey anxiously paced around the center of the lair as April sat in one of the bar stools in the corner, watching him walk. His mind couldn’t seem to stop panicking. He lost so much over the course of one night. He lost his family, his home, only to be thrown into a completely different world with a family that felt like he should’ve belonged in but it never felt right. He looked at Leo’s katanas that were propped up against the bar. Casey was a bit surprised that when he found them in the rubble after…everything…that the katanas were barely chipped from falling out of the sky.
Raph and Mikey began to walk by them, heading towards the kitchen. Casey immediately stopped pacing and stood at attention to them like a soldier.
“H-how is he?”, Casey asked nervously.
“Relax, Casey Jones. He’s fine. You know that.”, Mikey exasperated, clearly tired of Casey asking that question several times already.
“You know you can go say hi if you want.”, Raph smiled sympathetically.
Casey thought for a moment. It wasn’t the first time he’s seen Master Leonardo injured like that. It wasn’t the first time he’s seen anyone injured like that. He’s used to seeing it, practically desensitized by war and death and the piles of skulls that decorated the battlefield. And yet, he always felt like a scared little kid again whenever something happened to his family. And seeing his sensei all hooked up to a bunch of wires and machinery, barely clinging on to breathe…
“No.”, Casey shook his head as he closed his eyes, trying to erase the image from his mind. “I don’t think I can handle it.”
Raph’s sympathetic expression relaxed and then nodded at Casey before continuing to follow Mikey to the kitchen. April got up from the bar and walked over to Casey, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“You know…I’ve never met another kid as normal or as brave as you.”, April smiled.
“ Normal ?”, Casey questioned, quite confused.
“Well—yeah! You should see the kinds of people I’ve met. Like Cass and Sunita. Bunch of crazy crackheads…”, April laughed. “But I still love them.”
Casey let out a huffed chuckle, though he didn’t know who she was talking about. Alternate timeline or not, this is the Commander April O’Neil he remembered.
“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask…given that you’re from a completely different timeline and all…do you know where you’re going to be staying?”, April asked, puzzled.
“Staying…? Oh, yeah…I’m not so sure. I mean, I haven’t found any caves nearby but I bet I can figure it out—”
“ CAVES?! Oh no no no no no, honey…You ain’t sleeping in a cave no more.”, April snapped as she put both hands on her hips, shaking her head. She added, “You need to live the classic New York City life now! Tell you what, you can crash at my place.”
“...are you sure?”
“Y e s .”, April enunciated. “Look, I don’t know what your future timeline looks like but you definitely need some serious R&R.”
Casey smiled. It’s still totally her. He thought fondly about his past where after his mom left him behind in that fucked up world, April and the turtles took him in. April fulfilled that missing motherly role in his heart. Leonardo taught him everything he knows about fighting and medicine. Michelangelo never failed to put a smile on his face. Donatello set him up with some pretty slick tech weapons. Raphael…he never really got to meet until now. Casey may not feel like he belonged yet, but it’s still his family. Regardless of the timeline.
“...okay!”, Casey nodded.
Mikey happily skipped into the kitchen, though his arms flopped by his sides. Sure, he was scared out of his damned mind about his arms. He was prepared to give up everything if it meant saving Leo. Luckily, whatever painkillers Casey gave him seem to be working. He remembered how Casey seemed a little stunned when Mikey didn’t recognize the medication. Casey stated that his future Mikey would take it all the time. Casey even had some on him in his side pouch, reciting that he was future Leo’s “medic-in-training”. What was it called again? Dye…zapom? Whatever. It made him feel groggy like he wanted to just pass out and sleep forever but Mikey forced himself to stay energetic and positive. I have to! Everyone’s been so sad lately. I need to smile for them!
“You don’t have to pretend that you’re fine, Michael.”, Raph said in a calm, serious tone.
“...what?”, Mikey smiled, nearly dropping the mask for a second.
“I can tell that your injuries are bothering you. It’s okay to be upset about it.”, Raph stated, brows furrowing with worry.
“But I’m not upset! Why should I be? We’re home now aren’t we—”
“Michelangelo.”, Raph got down on one knee and placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “It’s okay to not be okay. You know that.”, Raph soothed sincerely.
Mikey’s lips quivered, but refused to frown. “But…why should I cry when Leo’s in that room all beaten up like that? He’s the one who should be upset right now, not me. My injuries are nothing compared to his—”
“Whether or not he’s got it worse, that doesn’t negate the fact that you’re still suffering. And that suffering is what’s important to you .”, Raph interrupted, gripping Mikey’s shoulder slightly tighter.
Mikey knew what Raph was doing. He was trying to get Mikey to stop pretending. But Mikey wasn’t going to cave in. He sighed, suppressing the tears that were urging to drip from his eyes. He gave Raph a soft smile, “I know…But I’m fine . I promise.”
Raph opened his mouth again to press further but Mikey didn’t want to hear it. He spun around and headed straight for the loaf of bread sitting on the counter. Well…it’s hardly a loaf anymore. Only a single slice left, minus the end pieces that no one likes. Mikey glanced around the kitchen, taking in what they got. Feeding Donnie was going to be a struggle.
Leo stirred the bowl of macaroni in his lap as his mind began to ponder. The food tasted fine but he just didn’t feel hungry. It surprised him a little because after such an endeavor, he’d usually be starving and would order billions of pizza pies. Then it’d turn into a race against Mikey on who gets the first and last slice. Leo set the bowl down on the nightstand beside him, hoping his appetite will return later. Something just felt…off. Probably something to do with this head injury. It’ll be okay. It’ll all blow over.
“Mikey, be careful with that!”, Raph hissed from outside the med-bay.
Mikey walked in first, trying his best to levitate a plate with a single piece of buttered toast on it. It bounced and wobbled in the air as Mikey’s hands hovered below the plate to catch it if he needed to, sticking his tongue out the corner of his beak in concentration. Raph followed close behind, hands hovering over Mikey to do… something? ...in case Mikey dropped the plate.
“One piece of toast coming right up, Donnie!”, Mikey exclaimed zealously.
He wedged himself through the narrow gap between Leo and Donnie’s gurneys. As he turned towards Donnie, the plate began to tremble and Mikey quickly snagged it before it fell. He handed the plate to Donnie with a victorious smile. The corner of Donnie’s beak slightly curved up in a smile.
“Thanks.”, Donnie signed as he took the plate.
“Of course! You’re in luck too, that was the last slice of bread.”, Mikey stated.
Donnie’s expression softened, he stared off to the side, holding up a hand. “Sorry.”
“Wha—No no no! Don’t be! It’s okay!”, Mikey stammered, seeming afraid that he had accidentally upset his older brother.
“We just gotta go get some more!”, Raph smiled as he sat down in a metal stool on the other side of Donnie’s bed.
“How? The whole city is closed down.”, Donnie signed.
Leo couldn’t read his expression as his twin was facing away from him now. Leo reached across the small gap, resting a hand on the other gurney.
Tap. Tap.
Donnie turned to look at Leo, his eyes still looked incredibly tired and his brows furrowed up with worry. Leo put on his signature reassuring smile.
“We’ll figure something out, Don. Don’t you worry.”, Leo soothed. Donnie nodded but didn’t smile. “For now, let’s eat!”, Leo exclaimed cheerfully in an attempt to change the mood.
Mikey got up and walked over to Leo’s right side where his bowl of macaroni was left on the counter this whole time. He carried the bowl and sat down at the end of Leo’s bed. Raph remained by Donnie’s side, enjoying his food as well. Leo looked back at his serving…but nothing came to him. He just couldn’t find a reason to eat. Instead, he found a reason not to. I deserve to starve after everything I’ve done. Everyone probably hates me —
“Oh, sssssugar…”, Mikey whispered under his breath.
Leo looked over at Mikey who was struggling to hold his spoon. He winced as his arm flinched and fumbled.
“Uh…you good, Mikey?”, Leo asked slowly.
“I got it!”, Mikey snapped. He held the spoon again…for a second until it fell back into the bowl. “Dang it!”
“Here, let me help.”, Leo smiled as he held his hands out to the youngest brother.
Mikey sighed and begrudgingly handed the bowl to Leo. The red-eared slider stirred the spoon before scooping a bite. I may deserve to starve…but he doesn’t. No one else doesn’t. Leo looked up at his brother, noticing the tears watering in his eyes. Aw, Mikey… If Leo wanted to stop being such an asshole and be the better brother that he needed to be, the time to start was now. As Leo held the spoon up to Mikey, he stifled a laugh.
“Here comes the airplane~!”, he cooed tauntingly.
Mikey snerked, wiping a small tear from his eye. Leo then helped feed Mikey, ignoring the need to feed himself.
After they ate, April stopped by to give Leo and Donnie their phones back. Apparently the batteries died earlier. Leo turned on his phone and saw 87 missed calls and 99+ unread messages. Mostly from Hueso.
“Oy…vey…”, Leo mumbled. He called Hueso’s number, wondering what this was all about. Hueso picked up.
“¡¿Pepino!?”, Hueso asked in shock.
“Heyyy señor—”
“¿DONDE LA MIERDA HAS ESTADO? ¡HE ESTADO TRATANDO DE LLAMARTE DURANTE LAS ÚLTIMAS 14 HORAS! ¡LA GENTE ME HA ESTADO DICIENDO QUE TERMINASTE EN LA DIMENSIÓN CARCELARIA PARA DETENER EL KRAANG! ¿QUÉ ESTABAS PENSANDO, PENDEJO?”
“...Nice to see you too. =)”
Donnie looked over at Leo with concern, seemingly noticing the commotion from the other end of the call. There was a pause over the phone. Leo couldn’t quite hear the other side.
“Just. Tell. Me. Everything. Are you alright?”, Hueso calmed down and pressed Leo sternly.
“Yes, yes, I’m alright. Everything’s fine. Sorta dying earlier but it’s all good.”, Leo explained nonchalantly.
“—...okay?? …H-how did you get out of the prison dimension?”
“Uh…I…I can’t remember…”, Leo noticed, surprised. He should remember that, right? He turned to Donnie who was still listening in. “Hey Don, how did you guys get me out of the prison dimension?”
“You don’t remember that?”, Donnie signed, looking very puzzled. “Mikey made a portal. Raph and I helped. You saw Mikey’s arms. How did you forget?”
“Oh! Right…”, Leo said but nothing clicked. He turned back to his phone, “The guys opened a…portal? Yeah, that’s all I got.”
“......Your voice sounds a little drunk… Are you drunk?”
“What? No. I just hit my head really badly and now I’m on painkillers.”, Leo didn’t even notice the slurred tone in his voice until Hueso mentioned it.
“Well…maybe some of my famous Run Of The Mill pizza will help you feel better! Perhaps I could make you your favorite Super Creepy Supreme?”, Hueso asked cheerfully.
“Hey, hey, now you’re speaking my language!”, Leo grinned. I probably won’t eat anyways but I can’t say no…he’ll know something’s up.
Leo looked over at Donnie who was no longer listening as he was messing around on his phone. The blue turtle glanced down at the purple turtle’s plate, a few toast crumbs scattered about.
“We’ll figure something out, Don. Don’t you worry.”, Leo soothed.
“...Actually, señor…I’m gonna take a raincheck on that. Can…you do me a big favor?”
Leo was shaken awake by Donnie though he doesn’t remember falling asleep. His stomach felt empty and ached with hunger. Donnie was now standing up and looked…fine. His expression was no longer tired and he had his purple mask and tech goggles back on, along with his black gloves and socks. He was wearing his cozy purple hoodie, the bandages still on his neck indicated that his softshell was still healing.
“Eat this.”, Donnie signed, pointing at a strange crystalized golden leaf. It looked like hard rock candy.
“What is that?”, Leo asked as he rubbed his eyes, sitting up. Distantly noticing that he felt less like shit.
“The Patecatl yokai medicine? From Hueso? We all got some.”, Donnie’s marker brows furrowed in question.
“Hueso’s here?”
Donnie paused. “...you don’t remember again? You talked to him earlier.”
“Ah…sorry. My head’s still all sorts of messed up, ya know?”, Leo let out a nervous chuckle.
Donnie rolled his eyes and held the leaf closer to Leo’s face. Leo took the leaf and inspected it closely. It looked flaky and easy to crunch. He popped the strange candy in his mouth and crunched. Suddenly, an immense flavor of a sour raw lemon bursted from the medicine. Leo gagged before Donnie held up a hand.
“Eat.”, Donnie signed, pressing on.
Leo’s eyes watered. It was so sour . But Leo reluctantly followed Donnie’s orders. He chewed, then gulped, then gagged some more, shuddering. Soon after, he felt a tingling sensation run throughout his body. And within a few moments, his wounds and head magically healed. The shitty feeling still slightly lingered however.
Donnie smiled. He hurried over to the scanner- a piece of tech that Donnie made to run diagnostics- and wheeled the machine over. The scanner hovered up and down Leo’s body before it gave an electronic chirp. Donnie glossed over the screen…and then frowned.
“What’s wrong, Dee?”, Leo asked concerningly.
Donnie sighed and stared at the screen for a moment. “Everything is fine except for your leg. It’s still broken—”
“Wait hold on…”, Leo held up his hand. “What did that weird medicine do to me?”
“It’s mystic. It speeds up the healing process by a couple months.”
“So…Hueso conveniently had his phalanges on magic drugs??”
“He stole it.”
Leo was suddenly taken aback. He knew how Hueso used to be a pirate but he didn’t think the skeleton yokai still had the skill. He didn’t even think that Hueso would’ve ever stolen again.
“You should be fully recovered in a week though.”, Donnie signed before walking over to the corner of the room and grabbing a pair of surgical scissors and pliers. “Let’s cut those stitches.”
Using a pair of underarm crutches, Leo hobbled beside Donnie as they made their way to the subway lair’s TV room. Leo’s bandages and stitches were all gone, only his leg cast remained. Without his usual outfit, he felt a bit barren. As they reached the TV room, Leo looked over the small crowd of people. Raph, Mikey, Splinter, April, Casey, and Hueso were all chatting amongst themselves.
Raph’s eye looked better, though the scars over it remained. The cracks in his shell and plastron were still there but smoothed over. The damage seemed to have left a permanent mark. He was back in his usual wear, though his red mask still has tears over the eye. Mikey’s arms were no longer bandaged up. He also had his usual accessories back on. Though the scars on his arms were still there, they shrunk down just above his elbows and the glow was much dimmer than before.
As the group was chatting, Hueso was handing out some delicious fresh baked goods, Leo could smell the aroma from afar. Raph looked up and spotted the disaster twins on top of the stairs. He jumped on to his feet with a smile.
“Leo!”, Raph shouted as he hurried up the flight of stairs.
“Hey Ael! You’re looking better. “, Leo grinned.
“How are you…up and about like that?”
“Oh, Donnie gave me some mystic yokai medicine.”
“What? But you already…”, Raph looked over at Donnie as Donnie looked away. Raph chewed his lip and then sighed. He turned back to Leo and smiled, “Well—Here, let’s get you down to everyone else.”
Before Leo could say anything, Raph scooped him up as Donnie carried his crutches. For some reason, alarms were going off in Leo’s head. A small sense that he was in danger. Why am I feeling this way? It’s just Raph —
As his half-alienified brother swung blow after blow, Leo used his agile prowess to dodge each attack. He needed to get through to his brother.
“I always figured you were mad because you didn’t like the way I did things.”
Raph didn’t listen. His tentacle arm aimed for Leo’s head as the blue turtle dodged, toppling backwards. Raph then wrapped the vine tightly around Leo’s neck and held him up in the air.
Leo gripped onto Raph’s arms, wanting to get off. He knew he’d fall down the stairs if he did. It’s just Raph. It’s just Raph. You aren’t in real danger anymore. The anxious feeling stubbornly refused to subside.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to drop you.”, Raph chuckled.
“Uh…y-yeah. I…I know th-that.”, Leo stuttered, trying his best to force a smile.
They reached the bottom, Raph carefully setting Leo down on his blue bean bag chair. Donnie propped the crutches against Leo’s side.
“Thanks.”, Leo mumbled. He took a breath in an attempt to relax and refocus on the conversation.
“Leo! I’m so glad you’re doing better!”, Mikey squealed as he ran over, arms out wide.
As Mikey jumped for a hug, Leo immediately held up his forearm to shield himself and accidentally elbowed his younger brother in the plastron. What the hell am I doing? Leo didn’t understand why he was so scared of people getting too close right now. Was there actually danger? Or was his mind playing tricks on him?
“Leo? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”, Mikey asked frantically.
“H-h-huh? Oh…n-no. You’re fine. You’re—It’s fine.”, Leo quivered. He took a breath to compose himself before forcing a reassuring smile. “Y-you just…startled me. Haha…” Leo started tapping his hand against his chest anxiously.
Mikey stared at him for a long moment, examining something. It was hard to tell what Mikey was thinking. Suddenly, his face lit up as an idea came to him. Mikey turned, sprinting out of the TV room.
“Be right back!”, he shouted.
After Mikey left, Hueso walked over to Leo holding out a plate of baked goods.
“Pepino! Glad to see you back on your feet…more or less. Here, I made those things you’ve asked for.”, Hueso held the plate closer. “To be honest, the request was a little odd. ‘Anything that’s not slimy’. Immediately I thought about pan dulce. It’s my mamá’s special recipe.”
Leo looked at the food. It smelled wonderful, warm and sweet. Various baked sugar bread and cookies are all decorated in unique designs. Leo felt his stomach rumble, remembering that he hadn't really eaten anything. Leo checked his phone to see the time. It was still August 5th, 7:03 pm. Damn, it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since the last time I ate. When was the last time…?
“When are you going to grow up and start acting like a hero?”, Raph put his fists on his hips triumphantly.
“Aaand there it is. Gentlemen…”, Leo interrupted as he, Mikey, and Donnie smushed their pizza slices together and took a bite.
“Hey, what—what was that? What are you guys doing?”
“It’s a little game I invented. Every time you say the word ‘heroes’, we take a bite of pizza.”
It felt so silly to look back on it now. He was so…careless and naive. He didn’t want to care. That was how the fighting between Raph and Leo started in the first place. Leo grew tired of the dangerous endeavors the Mad Dogs went through so he became more laid-back than ever, hoping that his family will stop believing in him and leave him behind. They’ve never trusted my plans in the first place. They’d be better off if I wasn’t here. Leo would never admit this outloud during the fights though. He’d play dumb and act like it wasn’t serious, hoping Raph would eventually back off and get the memo. But of course, instead, the fights would get violent. Leo was somewhat thankful at learning how to dodge Raph’s attacks. It finally became useful last night with the Kraang—
Hueso snapped his boney fingers in front of Leo’s eyes. “Oye! You didn’t answer my question, Pepino. I asked if you wanted a concha.”
Leo blinked back to reality, looking up at Hueso. I guess I better take it…can’t let him know there’s something wrong. “Oh, sorry. Sure, I’ll have one.”, Leo answered. Hueso smiled and handed a concha to Leo.
“Thanks, tío .”, Leo smiled.
Ever since he met Hueso, the two slowly got along with each other. Though Leo would still annoy the skeleton yokai. But whenever Leo got into a fight with any of his brothers, he would run off to Run Of The Mill and order himself whatever kind of pizza fit his current mood. Especially during the past two years thanks to Raph. Hueso grew a liking to the red-eared slider as well. Gradually teaching him a few cooking tips and even Spanish (though Leo still pronounced the silent “h” in Hueso’s name just to tease him). And so, Hueso has earned the title of Tío .
“Lady April and gentlemen…”, Mikey announced as he waltzed back in the room. He was wearing a burnt orange sweater, tucked into a pair of jeans, and round circle glasses.
Dr. Feelings had clocked in.
He was holding the mushroom plush that Leo had by his bedside earlier. Mikey walked over in front of the projection screen and sat down on the floor next to Leo.
“I think it’s time we all talk about our feelings as we process the crazy adventure we had last night.”, Mikey spoke in a condescending tone. “Please have a seat.”
Everyone sat down in a circle, except for Hueso who stood back to watch whatever this was. Casey, Raph, and Donnie sat on the floor, while Splinter sat in his chair and April on the arm rest. Leo stayed where he was on his beanbag, noticing he hadn't taken a bite of the concha in his hand.
“Let’s start off with something simple.”, Mikey gestured toward the mushroom plush. “Whoever is holding Malcolm will get to speak and we’ll all go around sharing how we’re feeling right now at this moment.” Ah, Malcolm was its name.
Mikey paused and looked around at everyone who all just sort of nodded at each other. It’d been a long while since Mikey had done this. Two years ago, he attempted this tactic to try and stop the fights between Raph and Leo…but it was no use. Instead, Mikey would just run off when the fights start and come back when Donnie gave word that it’s okay. It’s all my fault really. Mikey should’ve never felt responsible to fix our fights —
“I’ll start!”, Mikey chimed. “ Ahem …I’m feeling…really happy right now because we’re all feeling better thanks to the medicine Hueso gave us.”, Mikey smiled as he glanced over at Hueso. Hueso gave a soft smile.
“It was no problem, Pepinillo—”
“Excuse me, but I’m holding Malcolm right now.”, Mikey interrupted. He then handed the plush to Casey who was next to him. “Your turn!”
Casey paused for a moment and stared at the plush in his hands. “...What is this thing…?”
“...The…plush??”, Mikey asked, puzzled.
“I’ve…never seen anything like it in my timeline.”
The room went quiet for a moment. The presence of what Casey’s apocalyptic future held was unsettling. Leo felt a sting of guilt and pity. He knew everyone else felt it too.
“Give it a hug.”, Mikey whispered as he leaned in close to Casey.
Casey raised an eyebrow at him before slowly wrapping his arms around the mushroom. His expression relaxed, carefully sinking his chin on top of the plush. Then he smiled…seeming relieved.
“Huh…this is…kinda nice…”, Casey mumbled.
Mikey’s smile widened. “You can keep him after we’re done, if you want.”
“...Right. Okay.”, Casey nodded as he hesitantly let go of the plush and handed it to Raph next.
“Okay…well, I’m feeling…pretty good. I’m glad that we’re all safe.”, Raph gave a snaggle-toothy grin at everyone. He paused for another moment before he felt satisfied with his answer and passed the mushroom to April.
“I’d say I’m also feeling pretty good. It’s nice to finally relax a bit.”, April petted the mushroom plush in her arms before giving it to Splinter.
“I’m feeling…hungry! For more of those delicious pan dulce.”, Splinter stated as he picked up a puerquito bread and stuffed it in his face. He chuckled as he handed the plush to Donnie.
“I feel…”, Donnie signed. He stared at the plush for a long moment. “...Tired.”, he signed with a shrug as he looked up at everyone.
“How do you feel emotionally , Don?”, Mikey insisted.
Donnie stared at him for another long moment. “...Tired.”, he signed again and immediately passed the mushroom to Leo before Mikey could press further.
Leo took the mushroom plush with the hand that wasn’t holding the concha and pondered into its embroidered eyes. “I feel…” It was just a simple question. Surely, he can handle it. “...I f-feel…” Suddenly, too many thoughts jump in his mind, eager to answer all at once.
Exhausted. Dead inside. Gone. Void. Wasted. Distressed. Agitated. Drained. Empty. Weak. Sorry. Bleary. Bitter. Run down. Hurt. Troubled. Jittery. Tense. Resentful. Regretful. Guilty. Strained. Worn. Hungry. Stressed. Anxious. Panicked. Unreliable. Depressed. Scared. Angry. Tormented. Upset. Pained. Tired. Inattentive. Worthless. Useless. Unredeemable. Distracted. Blank. Hollow. Meaningless. Starving. Fatigued. Afraid. Antsy. Uptight. Dreadful. Bitter. Sullen. Sore. Destructive. Suicidal —
“Leo, don’t hurt Malcolm!”, Mikey shouted as he reached out a hand.
Leo jolted back, noticing that he was digging his fingers in the plush and accidentally crumbling the concha a bit. He quickly relaxed his hands and cleared his throat.
“S-sorry…um…I feel…”, Leo’s eyes darted around the floor in front of him. “...fine.”
Mikey sighed. “Dr. Feelings thinks that you’re not being honest—”, he started.
“I’m fine.”, Leo lightly tossed the plush back to Mikey. “ Honest .”
Mikey quickly caught the mushroom before it could tumble to the floor. “Well…okay!”, Mikey forced another smile. “Anyways, now that we’ve all gotten comfortable with sharing, the floor is open! What are our thoughts on the Kraang?”, Mikey asked as he handed the mushroom plush to Casey who hugged the plush tightly in his arms again.
Donnie immediately clasped his hands and took a sharp inhale, his expression stern. “ ...Teeth. Door. ”, he signed deliberately.
April shuddered. “Oh I know what you’re talking about! Those teeth doors were all sorts of nasty!”
“I’ll tell you what’s nasty! The eyes all over the place that just kept staring at you!”, Splinter joined in.
“And the sounds the Kraang dogs make! It makes my skin crawl all the time.”, Casey pointed out.
“Wait, they’re called Kraang dogs?”, Raph asked.
“Yeah, there’s different types. The Kraang dogs are the fully alienized ones. Kraang zombies are the ones who were partially taken over. And then there’s the Kraang droids that are these giant robot suits the Kraang controlled.”
As everyone talked (and Donnie signed) amongst themselves, Leo remained quiet. He felt obligated to join in so that no one would suspect his fears, but any thought that came to mind was too dark. It wasn’t something he could weasel his way out of with humor. No matter how hard he tried to come up with a solution. There was nothing he could say about it anyways. It was all his fault. It was my fault that the Foot Clan got the key. It was my fault that Raph got kidnapped and possessed. It was my fault Donnie’s softshell got torn. It was my fault that Mikey’s arms don’t work. Everything. Everything was all my fault. It was all…my…fault…
Leo’s stomach felt sick. It churned and ached. Wanting to throw up with nothing to throw up. Everyone’s voices drowned out, an irritating ringing and heartbeat muffled his tympanum. His heartbeat was moving too fast, along with his breathing. It was shallow and hard to get any actual breaths in. Leo lurched forward, holding his head in his hands and dropping the concha. Why am I even still here? I’m nothing without them. And they can do better without me. He felt hot and cold at the same time. Sweaty and clammy. Lightheaded. It felt like he was dying a second time. Leo began tapping his hand against his chest again before it started to ball up into a fist. For fucks sake, why did they even bother to save me? I wasn’t worth it. I could’ve been dead by now. I wish I was dead. All his senses felt like too much. He tried his best to drown it out, to make it disappear. Either that or him.
“Hey, Leo? Come back to us, bud—”, Raph reached out a hand on Leo’s head.
“ G-GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! ”, Leo screamed as he threw himself back into the beanbag, holding his arm up to shield him.
“Leo, you’re okay! No one’s gonna hurt you. Promise.”, April soothed as she got off the TV chair’s armrest and knelt down beside him.
Leo began heaving, trying to fucking breathe at the very least. It was like he couldn’t control his own body. Then the thought came to him that this wasn’t his first time having a panic attack. He’s had many of these as a kid growing up. The last time being…in the escape pod… He understood what was going on but he couldn’t control anything. Knowing it didn’t help shit .
“Leo, here.”, Mikey hurried over and dropped to his knees, holding an ice cube. “Give me your hand.”
Leo stared at the ice cube for a moment, too afraid to move. Eventually, he lowered an arm, shaking uncontrollably. Mikey dropped the ice cube into his palm, the cube jittered with the frantic hand movement. He clenched the cube tightly, the sheer cold was burning. …It…it felt nice. To feel this hurt. It was finally something that was real. Present. Gradually grounding Leo back.
It took a long minute for Leo to calm down enough, until the ice cube melted in his clenched hand. Everyone watched, making him feel more embarrassed and awkward. He would never understand why they still put up with him. Never .
“Sensei?”, Casey slowly stepped forward. He lowered the mushroom plush in front of Leo’s face. “Here. You need him more than I do right now.”
Leo didn’t say anything. He took the plush and immediately felt the urge to hug it tight. He squeezed his arms around it, ducking his face on top. Despite being fearful of touch, Leo was desperately starved for it. The notion triggered painful sobbing to burst through. His screams muffled through the mushroom, getting it all covered in ugly tears and snot. The lack of food made him feel moody and exhausted. Leo felt himself give into the drowsiness, wanting to drift off into that void now. Leo took a deep yet wavering breath. He pulled his head out of the plush and exchanged glances with everyone.
“...I’m going to bed.”, his voice was hoarse, setting Malcolm down in the beanbag.
“Uh, Leo—”, Raph started as Leo grabbed his crutches and got up.
“I’m fine.”, Leo spoke sharply.
“—Okay…but…”
Leo made his way over to…the stairs. Leo slowly looked up at the top of it, noticing how much of a pain it would be to even crawl. He drooped and slumped his head, hearing Raph’s footsteps approach.
“I understand that you’re uncomfortable right now but if you wanna leave—”, Raph soothed calmly.
“Just—...just get it over with.”, Leo mumbled.
Raph nodded and carefully scooped Leo up who held tight to his crutches. Leo felt his mind separate from his body in an attempt to numb out the danger senses that Raph’s embrace was giving off. When they reached the top, Raph set him down carefully. Leo quickly got off as soon as he could, preparing to walk away. He could feel everyone’s stares on him but he couldn’t look at him. Their faces would only be upset and pitied ones. I can’t .
“Want me to walk with you?”, Raph whispered from behind.
“...no…”, Leo replied as he started to maneuver away to his room. Then he realized that there was another flight of stairs that led down to his room. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Leo stopped and groaned with irritation. “...okay yeah…”
Raph walked with Leo and then helped him down to his room. He noticed that his doors have been fixed from when Raph punched a large hole through them last night.
“Sorry, I missed that. Can you repeat everything from…well…everything?”
Such a fucking asshole , Leo scolded himself. He flopped on his bed, face-planting the pillow. The void of sleep felt welcoming.
His mind sank back to the black.