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Finally, all of that chaos was over. The constant running and fighting drained him out so badly. Everything was back to normal but his mind. The blue blur couldn't fail to remember how embarrassing it was for his friends to see him nearly perish in front of their eyes.
Oh how deeply ashamed he felt. He was supposed to be strong! The hero of Mobius, “everyone’s” hero. His mind always told him by no means is he allowed to display any sign of weakness. He mustn’t cry in front of others, speak about how he felt or think about himself before others. This is what being a hero was, isn’t it?
He wanted this. This is what he chose to live for. This was his only purpose. If life was simply peaceful with absolutely zero sign of evil or danger then… what would his purpose be..? That’s the type of question that keeps him up at night, barely able to reach his usual 8-9 hours of sleep. If he wasn’t a hero why would he matter?
Does he matter at all?
Surely there must be someone else who could replace him if he ever met his end.
__________________________________________
Everyone was at the party. Sonic’s gang had been super sweet enough to host a party congratulating him on saving his friends and fighting once again. For some reason he felt like he didn’t entirely deserve this party.
His friends were the bravest ones for staying calm while being trapped in cyberspace. He just did the right thing so why did he deserve a party? Deserve is a strong word.
Amy baked her famous cookies and placed them out on a table full of treats for the guests. The party was held outside of her house in her backyard since she had the neatest one.
Knuckles and Rouge were chilling by a bench obviously flirting with each other. Those two had something going on for sure. Tails was attempting to fix something Amy had in her house. Was it her TV box? Sonic didn’t know. His mind was all over the place.
Silver and Blaze came, and surprisingly, Shadow as well. Knowing Shadow hated crowded events and socializing often, it made Sonic a bit happy that even despite his hatred for those things, he still came.
A lot of people showed up and things were nice. Well, for everyone but Sonic. He felt alone, despite all of his peers in front of him. But why? Why wasn’t he happy?
He should be happy! If he didn’t feel happy then he was selfish. Selfish to be upset even though his
dearest friends organized this whole thing for HIM.
God he was so tired. When people came to have a little small talk with him, he couldn’t even focus or think straight. All he wanted to do was collapse on his bed and never wake up till Sunday.
He felt dizzy.
Couple of hours went by, the party was pretty long and no one was leaving just yet. Sonic felt his palms get sweatier and sweatier each hour. He had a throbbing headache.
It was night time and there were colourful lights set up everywhere. The ambiance would be very nice…
if he wasn’t tremendously exhausted.
His eyes started to visibly display his tiredness. How long has it been since he last slept? And not those mediocre 45 minute naps he takes. Those don’t count.
No. He can’t sleep. He must watch out for his friends. Surely he wouldn’t want them in danger right?
“Amy, I think somethings wrong with Sonic..” Tails spoke. His lil bro, always worried for his hero.
“Yea I noticed, he looks like he hasn’t slept in decades.” she sighed.
Amy could read anyone like a book with just a quick glance. The easiest people she could do that to were her friends. One quick glance and normally she knew what was going on.
But this time, something was really wrong.
…
The party finally ended after what felt like ages. Amy was very concerned with the blue hedgehog. She saw how he always sat down and barely got up. Very unusual for him. She wanted to interrogate him but knew how he would quickly dismiss it.
Wait. Where was he?
Before everyone started leaving, the last place she saw him was the rocking bench.. Perhaps he went back home.
Tails, Knuckles and Rouge stayed to help Amy clean up and take some goodies back home. Knuckles pointed out how he wondered what was up with Sonic.
“You guys noticed too huh?” Amy said.
“I don’t know exactly what’s going on with him but I just know he’s not normal right now.” Knux added.
Amy said goodbye to her buddies and made her way inside her little home.
‘Now to text Sonic. I really do hope he’s okay. Maybe he’s still a bit frightened after what he faced?’ The pink hedgehog thought to herself.
Walking up her stairs, a faint snoring could be heard in the guest room.
“That’s weird. I thought everyone stayed outside?”
She opened the guest room door lightly.
“Sonic?” she spoke softly.
He almost jumped up immediately. Was he asleep? Poor thing.
“I’m up!” he shouted. His eye bags were more visible now.
Amy felt her heart shatter. How long has he been neglecting himself??
“Sonic, before you lie to me. I know something is wrong. Please, talk to me, I'm all ears.” Amy stated.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Sorry for being in your house, I should probably go home now” Sonic spoke.
No way in hell did he have the energy nor the strength to run back home right now. His body kept fighting for rest that he never gave it and it was finally tired of fighting.
The male attempted to stand up but failed miserably and collapsed. His energy was so low.
“Sonic! Are you ok!?” Amy rushed over to him.
“So tired.”
….
It has been nearly 2 days since Sonic had been sleeping in. Gosh he really needed it. Amy notified her friends in the groupchat about his state and some of them came over to drop off little gifts for Sonic. They all felt really bad. Sonic didn’t want them to feel bad. Once he’d find out he made them feel that way he was gonna be even more pissed at himself.
Eventually he woke up. He saw himself in a pink bedroom, under a fandango colored blanket with peace signs scattered on it. Sonic took a moment to look at his surroundings. He was in Amy’s bed.
That girl definitely lifted him up to her bed. Never underestimate her physical strength.
Picture frames were on her dresser shelf that contained memories of her and the gang. Her closet was near the window that was cracked open a bit.
The night stand next to the bed had a cup of water and vitamins for him. There was also a picture of the both of them when they were little kids. He loved that picture.
It was time for him to go downstairs and face Amy. It was embarrassing. He couldn’t hide his state anymore so he knew she’d get him to fess up which was embarrassing for him.
‘She’s gonna think i’m weak. All of them will.’ he thought.
Sonic made his way downstairs where he saw Amy in her kitchen cooking something that smelt amazing. It smelt like… chilly dogs? She always made the best ones.
“Hey Ames”
“Oh! You’re up! I hope you had a nice sleep, you really needed it.” she said.
“Yeaa..” Sonic said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck. He knew what was next.
“Listen Sonic, I need to talk to you for a while. But before I do so, I’d like you to eat up first. Can’t have you on an empty stomach.” Amy declared.
…..
After Sonic devoured 5 chili dogs, he sat down on Amy’s couch next to her. He was not ready for this conversation.
“Look Sonic, before you think anything bad, I'm not mad at you at all, but please listen to me.”
Sonic sighed.
“Sonic, why haven’t you been sleeping? We’re all worried about you and we care for you. Your friends and I want you to take better care of yourself.” she started.
“You’ve been through too much during the past month. Please, you know you can talk to me. I would never in my life judge your emotions. I know you don’t normally show how you’re feeling but I do know it’s because you hate appearing weak.”
Damn she read him like a book, what the hell?
He sighed once more.
“I don’t sleep because I must protect you and the others Ames. I can’t let another stunt happen to you guys again!” He spoke visibly frustrated.
“I’m scared I’ll lose you all. If I'm weak then what is my purpose Amy? Anyone can easily take my place. I have to be alert at all times. I’m a hero. My purpose is to always put others before me.”
“But you’re hurting.” She said, her face projecting sadness. “Putting others before yourself is ok but not when you pass the limit of that. If you don’t want to lose us, you need to start caring more for yourself Sonic. You’re a person too, you have emotions. You have people you can go and talk to when you’re not feeling so bright.” Amy finished.
Sonic felt his eyes water a bit. Did he forget already? DO NOT show any sign of weakness.
But he couldn’t help it. Tears ran down his muzzle.
“What is my purpose if it's not fighting for others Ames..”
Amy opened her arms wide for a hug and he leaned in to hug her back. Man he needed this hug. He started to lightly cry. Little sniffs here and there but he wasn’t sobbing. Just tears of frustration like when the rocks of stress on your shoulders finally start to fall.
He was indeed frustrated. Frustrated, tired and annoyed with himself. Only himself to blame and no one else.
“There there. Just let yourself fall apart in my arms.” Amy spoke softly as she caressed his back. This was so embarrassing but he couldn’t care less right now.
“I promise I won't tell anyone if it makes you feel better.” The pink one spoke.
They hugged for what felt like hours as he finally expressed himself. He told her how he felt embarrassed and weak. How he nearly died infront of them after fighting so much to save them.
“All that mattered when we were at Starfall Islands was saving my friends, even if it meant risking my own life…” he admitted, tears staining Amy's shoulder.
“I appreciate that Sonic. I really do. Your purpose isn’t just saving everyone. It’s about enjoying your life. Enjoying yourself. Don’t worry so much about being weak.” Amy replied.
The two of them ended up getting very tired and went up to Amy’s room to sleep.
“I think we should sleep. I know you're still very tired, 2 days of rest doesn’t make up for the days of rest you missed and energy you missed. Would you like me to hug you?”
“That would be really comforting Ames, thank you so much.”
“No problem, always talk to someone if you ever feel like this again Sonic. Promise me that.” She said while looking at him before hugging him and drifting off to sleep.
“I will.”
♡