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“Ray!” Emma was whinging at him, again. “I don’t want to play, I want to read.” He didn’t even need to know the question to know his answer. “All you ever do is read.” There it was, the Emma pout. “One game of tag, and then I’m going back to reading.” Her face lit up.
He knew the best hiding spots in the forest, but he would still always get caught by Norman. So he was lucky that Emma was in.
Emma had passed under him three times already. This was her fourth. “RAYYY! WHERE ARE YOU!” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile to himself. He looks at his pocket watch. Three more minutes of being up in this tree.
“Times up!” He shouts, jumping down from his tree. “Good job, Ray.” Norman smiles at him.
Conny was being adopted today. Ray hated it. She was another one of his siblings that he had manipulated for the sake of Emma and Norman. He was balled up in a tree in the forest. A blade in his hand that he was squeezing tightly, blood pooled in his palm. He had taken apart a pencil sharpener to get the blade.
“I’m gonna miss you Conny.” Ray says, hoping to get a specific response. “I’ll miss you too Ray.” The blonde haired girl paused for a second. “I have my little bunny for when I’m scared, but you don’t have a little bunny.” She gives him Little Bunny. “Keep him until you get adopted, then when you find me you can give him back!” She says with a smile. “ I will keep him safe for you. Ok?” She nods. Time for step two.
He had left Little Bunny on a table in the dining room. “LITTLE BUNNY!?” He hears Emma shout. Good, the plan was in motion. His hand was hurting again. Oh well, he’ll deal with that later. “She’s probably still at the gate, if you hurry, you can get it to her.” Ray says, knowing that it was a lie. “I’ll stay here, go with Norman.” Emma nods and runs off.
They were back. They looked crushed. Did he overestimate them? Are they able to wrap their head around it? “How’d it go?” No answer. Norman walks past him, head down, following Emma.
He was eavesdropping on them, they were planning something, to tell him perhaps? “We need to tell Ray.” Emma says. “Tell me what?” He asks, emerging from his hiding spot. “RAY! WHY ARE YOU HERE!?” Emma exclaimed. “You guys are acting weird. What’s wrong?” Emma looks at Norman for confirmation. “Mama’s an enemy, we’re being raised as food. This isn’t an orphanage.” Ray acts surprised. “So, Conny’s dead?” He knew the answer. Norman nods and looks away. “I wanna escape with everyone!” Emma says, it was a stupid idea. “We can’t do that!”
“Why not!” She yells back. “What if it’s the same out there!” Ray responds. “It’s like making a boat out of mud, it won’t work!” He turns around to Norman, hoping that he’d be more reasonable. “Norman, smack some sense into this idiot, she’s being unreasonable!” Norman starts laughing, “I’d like to make a boat out of mud.” Ray grabs him by the collar. “You’re supposed to be smart, so why?” Norman smiles. “Because I like her.” He says innocently. Ray puts him down. “Fine, do what you wish.” He walks off.
He was crying, why? He wasn’t entirely sure. But he was holding onto the sharpener for dear life. It hurt, it hurt like hell, he wasn’t sure why he continued to do it. It felt terrible, he felt terrible. The more pain, the better, anything to take his mind off of what he did to Emma and Norman. He knows that them knowing is for the better but still, he can’t help but feel that it’s his fault they’re sad. And of course Norman likes Emma, who wouldn’t, she was perfect, but so was Norman. He was foolish enough to let himself believe that he had a chance. A sharp pain brought him out of his trance. He was almost too close to the tendons in his hand. Getting up from his corner in the library, he slowly creeps to the bathroom to clean the wound. “Ray?” He hears Norman behind him. No, he can’t know. Ray thinks. “Are you ok?” Ray turns around. “Yeah, I just fell asleep in the library.” He says with a smile. Norman didn’t believe that. “I’m fine, I promise.” He reassures, patting Norman on the shoulder with his good hand as he walks past. Norman grabs his hand, the bad one. The blood starts to flow again, it seeped between Normans fingers. Ray winces. Norman’s eyes widen in shock. “ray?” He whispers. “I’m sorry.” Ray pulls his hand away and hurries to one of his hiding spots. Leaving Norman standing there with blood on his hand, Rays blood.
The next day was awkward between the two and Emma was getting concerned. Norman kept trying to talk to him. The guilt was eating him up, he had sold them out to Mama, his closest friends, he had betrayed them.
After lunch, Ray was trying to escape quickly but Norman caught up to him, there was no getting out of this. “Emma’s on washing up duty, you and I need to talk.” Norman insisted. “Fine, but we’re going to one of my spots.” Ray says, walking off, expecting Norman to follow.
They were in the library. “Wow, I didn’t even know that this spot existed.” Norman sounded amazed. “I have more spots like this.” Ray says, looking away. “So, what did you want to talk about?” Ray asked after they got comfortable, he knew the answer, it was obvious, but that was a good conversation starter. “I think you know.” Norman narrowed his eyes slightly. “Do I?” Norman rolled his eyes. “What’s with the blood?” Norman sounded concerned, it made Ray’s heart sink. He turns over his left hand. “That.” Norman grabs his hand carefully to inspect it. “This is too clean to be accidental, what happened?” Norman asks, tilting his head to the side. Ray takes a deep breath and reaches into his pocket. He feels the small blade, taking another breath, he pulls it out of his pocket and shows it to Norman. “This, I’m sorry.” Ray whispers the last part. Norman snatches the blade and stuffs it in his pocket. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Ray ask’s carefully. Norman shakes his head. “No, but I will check your hands and if any sharpeners break I will check on you.” Ray nods. “Also, if you feel like you want to do this, come and find me. I’ll listen.” Norman looks into his eyes. “Im being serious Ray.” He adds. “Yeah, I know.” Ray says as he takes his hand back.
Mama had show them the tracking device. Ray already knew where it was, in fact, he had even needed to get another one put in, so, he was incredibly sure. (An: if you’re wondering why he needed another one, he stabbed a stick through it to break when he was six but it still worked when he burnt “himself” so, logically, another one was put in. It was in the special Ray chapter.) Now, how would they find it?
It didn’t take long for Ray’s hands to itch, a specific itch that can only be scratched by blades. “Ray, there’s something I want to ask you about.” Emma said one day while they were doing laundry. “Ok, what is it?” He asks, not looking up. That was odd, she was quiet. “Um, not right here.” She says, her cheeks red. They finished laundry fairly quickly and Ray offered to go to his library spot, the one that had became his and Norman’s, and would now be his, Norman’s and Emma’s. He pulls out a pillow and blanket for her. “I took these from spare rooms. I sleep in here often.” Emma nods. “It’s nice.” She was avoiding the subject. “So, what is it?” Emma flushed red. “Um, well, I think I like Norman. Like in the way that book characters like each other.” Ray nods. “I think he likes you too.” Ray moves closer to Emma, almost as if to reassure himself that she was there. “Really!” Her face lights up. “Really.” Their time to hang out was cut short by Phil walking into the library calling for Emma. “Well, you better go. You can always talk to me if you need.” Ray says with a small smile.
Once she was gone, he broke down. He quickly silenced his crying so that nobody would hear him. Norman entered the library, heading to their spot. No no no no no chanted in his head, he couldn’t let Norman see him crying, he just couldn’t. “Are you here?” He hears the albino boy ask. Ray quickly drys his eyes. “Ye-yes, I am.” His voice cracked in the middle of that sentence. “Good, I brought food.” Norman climbed up to the spot, only to the sight of a disheveled Ray, his eyes were red, obviously from crying, and his finger nails were digging into his palm. Norman sets the fresh bread down and grabs Rays hands, holding them up. “Ray, what’s wrong?” Norman looks into his eyes. “I’m scared Norman. I don’t want to be food” A half-truth, that worked, he was scared and he didn’t want to be eaten but that was not why he was crying. “Eat, it’ll make you feel better.” Norman says, pushing a bun into his hands. “thanks.” Ray takes a bite. “What are you here for?” He asks Norman, regaining his composure quickly. “I suspect we’re being betrayed.” Ray nods. “Should we tell Emma, it would break her heart.” Norman looks away, he clearly didn’t want to make Emma sad. “It would, but…” Norman chews at his bottom lip. “It’s the best course of action.” He says. “I know, but… yeah, you’re right.” Norman agrees. “I’ll tell her tomorrow.” He says. “Cool.” Ray says, finishing his bread. Norman walks away, leaving Ray to himself.
Ray and Norman had arrived to their spot before Emma, so they had some time to themselves. “Ray.” Norman holds out his hand, Ray knew what he wanted. “Nothing.” Ray says, turning his hand over for Norman to inspect. They heard Emma coming and quickly sit down. “What did you guys want to talk about?” She asks, sitting down next to Norman. “I think we’re being betrayed.” Norman says, looking away from Emma. (An: it’s been forever since I read this part of TPN so sorry for any mistakes.) “what?” Emma was clearly confused. “Mama probably has a spy within the children.” Ray supplies. “But, why would you think that?” Emma still didn’t get it. “Mama has been able to counter our every move, she obviously has someone working for her.” Norman explains. Emma looked devastated, Ray felt like shit, this was all his fault.
“We’ll tell Don and Gilda.” Norman says, explaining that it would be good to have more people on their side. “What if they’re the traitor!” Ray exclaims, hating the thought of having to throw his siblings under the bus. “I’ve already thought of that, don’t worry.” He smiles.
Ray had chosen to sell out Don, not actually, but paint him as the traitor. His hand itches, he so desperately wants to cut it. He decides to go to Norman instead, even though it was late at night. He goes to the shared bedroom and taps on Norman’s shoulder. “Ray?” Norman’s voice was different, as he has just woken up, it made Ray rather grateful for the low light. “I-” Ray doesn’t know how to phrase it. “H-hands.” Is all he managed to get out, Norman understood though. “It’s ok, thank you for coming to me instead of, you know- that.” Norman grabs his hands, gently stroking the palms. He didn’t know that it was a romantic gesture, Ray did though and it drove him mad. “It’ll be ok.” Norman says gently, giving Ray a small smile.
They were standing near Norman bed. The rope was gone, leaving Don marked as the traitor. Ray felt guilty for selling out another one of his siblings but he did what he had to do. “The traitor is you Ray.” Huh? How did he know. The shock evident on his face was the final nail in the coffin. “What do you mean, Norman?” Ray knew he was fighting a losing game, but he was still fighting. “You’ve already figured it out, haven’t you.” Norman said, and he was right, Ray knew his mistake. “I set a trap for you and Emma as well.” Norman explains, he didn’t have to, but he did anyway. Ray falls back onto the bed, laughing. Norman was shocked, why was he laughing? Ray didn’t know either. “I have been Mama’s spy for six years now.” Ray stops laughing. “I thought I was doing an excellent job, when did you start to suspect me?” Norman looked shocked at the amount of time. “After sister Krone arrived.” Norman replied. “I’ll help you, don’t worry.” Ray says. “On one condition, trick Emma, if we do take others, we only take Don and Gilda.” Norman was not surprised at his proposal. He was considering it. Ray stands and puts his hand on Norman’s shoulder. “If you don’t, I’ll just work exclusively for Mama.” Ray hated the idea of threatening Norman but it had to be done to protect them. “See ya later, Norman.” Ray walks out.
He was hiding in a storage closet, making himself as small as possible. Norman hated him, he had to! Ray has been working with Mama for half his life. Ray heard footsteps, it was dinner time and they were looking for him. Part of him wants them to hate him, but the more emotional part of his brain wanted to be held and loved, something he had not felt before. The door opens. “There you are Ray, we were worried.” Mama says with a fake sweetness in her voice that he was so familiar with. “Sorry, I was just having one of those days.” Mama pulls him out of the closet. She gives him a smile and walks away.
*CRACK* That’s what they heard, Emma’s leg being broken was all they saw. Ray didn’t know what was going on, was Mama getting rid of him? He could control them, mama didn’t need this. “Congratulations Norman, your shipment date has been set.” What. Ray was supposed to be first. He was the oldest. They had a deal, not anymore, he reminds himself.
Norman was gone. He didn’t believe it, he refused too, sinking back into a depressive state. He felt so guilty, he felt like it was his fault that Emma wasn’t smiling. He spent all his time in the library, trying to finish all the books. He was counting down the days until he met his fiery end. He regretted it, but he knew that it would help Emma to escape. He felt tears well up in his eyes, he refused to cry, he wouldn’t, he felt tears roll down his face. He puts his book down and curls up, clawing at his arms and starting to cry.
He was scared, he didn’t want to die, but he did, he was confused. His breath faltered as he was humming his mother’s lullaby. He silently wished that he had the same memories as his siblings, what did he do to deserve this memory, what gods did he wrong? “Ray.” His head turned to face Emma. “What are you doing?” He looks up at the ceiling. “Saying goodbye to the house.” He responded. “It’s your last day today, isn’t it?” He nods and turns away.
It was all a blur, when did he toss Emma the book? when did he pour out the lighter fuel? Emma looked shocked when he came to. It’s now or never. He pours the fuel over his head, taking a deep breath before beginning to talk. “Isn’t this the greatest, the perfect scorer with the set shipment date will burn up, she won’t be able to abandon me.” Ray feels himself grow angry. He calms himself down a bit, the horrified look on Emma’s face made him slightly guilty. “Y’know, I’ve never really been interested in studying or reading, but I worked hard to improve my value to the highest it could be.” The anger is back. “Food? Merchandise!? I DONT GIVE A CRAP! IM A HUMAN BEING!” Ray was yelling now, it felt good. “Wait!” Emma yells. “Don’t move.” He was looking at the ground. “I’m now twelve years old,” he lights the match. “It was a life I wanted to curse, but the time I spent with everyone was fun.” He gets ready to drop it. “Don’t let me, or Norman, die in vain.” Emma was near tears at this point. “NO! STOP!” She desperately tried to convince him not to, only to be cut off by Rays final words. “Thank you. Goodbye Emma.” And with that, he drops it, and gets engulfed by the fire.