Chapter Text
‘ Phone bill, electricity bill, water bill, gas bill, roommates rent is late and the landlord is on my ass, and we need to buy more toilet paper… and how much is my savings? 1,979,422.50 yen. … Is it too late to roll up in a ball and cry? Yes, yes it is as college professors need an assignment or they will fail you. ’ Yuu was currently slouching on their chair as papers were scattered everywhere on their desk, their phone currently showing all the emails and texts nagging them to pay up. Pinching their nose perhaps to convince themselves to suffocate.
Alas they then realize that funerals are expensive and if they wanted to disappear and die who would pay for their funeral? Certainly not the government. Yuu then simply stretched their arms and looked at their phone glancing at the time.
1:14 AM on a Wednesday.
“ … It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, fuck it if the professors get a half made essay filled with My Little Pony then that’s their problem. ”
The saying “ Tired and Hangry ” were often associated with Yuu for not matter how much Yuu ate or how much they slept they just felt empty.
Empty meant being frustrated. Frustrated meant being angry. Angry meant they used energy to bash their enemies' skulls through the concrete. Energy meant being hungry. Eating meant feeling empty.
You get the memo.
Being filled with sugar meant that they could take a break of that cycle just being temporarily stuck on empty. Then the high comes and it goes to angry.
Opening up their cabinets they were then reminded of the spoiled cereal they left in their fridge and never finished. “ … Meh, I'll eat it tomorrow. ” pushing the thought aside to grab a bottle of orange juice.
Opening it and chugging it down like it was the first water they had after going to the gym in 4 weeks and immediately picking heavy weights.
Waving the juice and immediately throwing it on the ground.
“ Disgusting, why do I hate myself to do this? Nothing to do, nothing to read, nothing to eat, mmm hhhhgggg so fricken boring here! ” At this point Yuu was curled up on the floor phone still in hand throwing a tantrum, contemplating whether or not it was actually worth it to still go to bed and at least have some sleep before getting up again for the same mundane routine.
Then they just stopped. Stopped moving their phone around. Stopped kicking their feet in the air. Stopped shaking their head.
The only thing that was still moving was their chest and their eyes. Just a blank stare. Staring around the shared apartment between them and their roommate.
In the past they would have scolded themselves for behaving like this and urged them to make a planner. To get through the day. But that was past them. There was no motivation for them to simply do anything at the moment, just be another person wasting oxygen on a slowly decaying Earth.
Yuu felt like crying.
Yuu felt like screaming.
Yuu felt like laughing.
Yuu felt like vomiting.
Yuu felt like tearing out their hair.
Yuu felt like smiling.
Yuu felt empty again.
Glancing around the apartment everything looked so abnormal. The beds were covered with clean laundry not even folded, papers crumbled from sleeping atop of them, chip bags in the corner with a half empty water bottle, the sheets sliding off the end of the bed. Their laptop and earbuds charging.
The floors were covered in dust,lint and dirt and as uncomfortable as it was to lay there palms on the floor it was just expected at this point rather it be surprising if there wasn’t something attaching to her palms.
Their roommates' bed was no different than their own except the laundry and the empty trash was discarded on the floor. Their college desk being empty saved for their lamp and laptop.
If someone with dignity walked into this apartment they would have chosen the right option and walked right out.
Out of the room.
Out of the building.
Out of the prefecture.
Out of the country.
Out of the world.
Out of Yuu’s life.
Yuu was feeling very empty.
And a tantrum on the floor wouldn’t make her feel anything but waste energy.
Maybe it was an attempt to motivate themselves to finally get off the unswept broken glass floor. And stumbled to the bathroom.
‘ So tired. Maybe I can lay down and pretend to fall asleep only to be awoken by my bumass roommate vomiting down the toilet again ’ Yuu thought, feeling to smile as they wouldn’t be left alone all with their thoughts. Perhaps they can offer some condolences as it is a lesson to not go to a party on a school night and drink turning on the facet.
Yuu splashed water on their face with some getting on the sink, facet and mirror but who was going to complain their mother? In an attempt to wake up from the little sugar they had. Yuu glanced at the mirror.
“ .. Yup, still as ugly as I am in the morning. ” A jest really in an attempt to maybe make the ghosts laugh at them.
Yuu expected silence and their vision to begin to focus in 4K. Not the mirror darkening up and having their vision start to fill up with the color black.
“ Ayo, how much did I eat today? My sugar level low? Shizz- '' If Yuu would complain about the mirror having handprints in the morning they didn’t care that was a problem for future Yuu, who would no doubt blame their roommate without evidence, current Yuu however wanted to make fun of themselves in the mirror and couldn’t do it if the mirror was being covered in black.
Muttering this.
“ Now listen here pal. I already paid 250,000 yen with addonital 350,000 yen. I ain't pay that much for my eyesight to suddenly turn- Am I high or is the mirror talking? ”
A pale hand then gripped Yuu’s wrist.
More so of a hand whose tips were turning into claws for it was digging itself on top of Yuu.
‘ Huh guess consent doesn’t exist if you’re just a hand ’
Maybe Yuu was simply tired or hallucinating from the sugar, though that was unlikely because they didn’t care if the hand was gripping harder and the pain was starting to appear, did the mirror was mummering something.
“ To Me. ”
‘ A mirror got feelings? ’
“ To Them. ”
‘ You non-binary? ’
“ To Yourself. ”
‘ What about me? ’
“ There hour grows long, and time is scarce- ”
Yuu was now completely aware of the fact that the water was still on and their phone was still on the sink. “ Hold on homie, the water bill is gonna come up my ass if I don’t turn this off. ” Though it wasn’t enough as Yuu still grabbed their phone before turning off the water. Then another hand grabbed their arm, sinking its talon onto them.
Yuu now felt like this was pushing their patience.
“ Bro, hands off seriously. ” Yuu said as they were now completely aware of their situation.
“ Do not let go of that hand, at all costs. ”
Yuu felt that grip pull. In a moment of desperation they yelled.
“ FUCK! ”
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[ Synchronization… Synchronization successful ]
[ Rebooting… Rebooting successful ]
[ Levels… Levels have been added now accumulating Levels… Successful ]
[ The program Wilde has been added ]
[ Implementing features… features have been added ]
[ Adding magic… Magic unsuccessful ]
[ Choosing species.. Species undecided ]
[ Picking Unique Magic… Unique Magic is anonymous ]
[ Now waking up Host ]
Welcome, Yuu
-----------------------------------------------------------
‘ … Yo, this box is comfy as hell. ’
Any sane person would have tried to escape but Yuu simply gave up after tapping on it twice and saying “ Open Sesame ” Before giving up and simply laying there.
“ … OH SHIT MY PHONE! ” Yuu then realized their life line was not being clutched by sweaty and sticky hands. So they instead chose to grope everything surrounding them to find their phone.
At last it was in the one place they did not sexually harass themselves with clothing.
‘ Sweeet found ya- This ain’t my phone and me the hell? ’
What should have been a person who was in their final year of college was instead greeted by the face of their past. What should have been their crappy IPhone was instead met by a brand new phone, the title screen saying “ Loading ”
“ … Don’t tell me this is the off-brand “ In Another World With My Smartphone “ Bullcrap. Nah honey, I ain’t about this life. ”
Yuu has read enough light novels, manhwa’s, manhua, manga, donghua, and anime to know where this is going.
‘ Yes, it seems I have died and restarted my life as a teenager, became the most powerful magician and gained a harem in the process. Truly the most logical conclusion I could reach. ’
‘ Like hell that’s the actual truth! Fuck… I need something to drink, something ANYTHING! ’
The feeling of emptiness was gone and while the box was comfortable Yuu knew that humans could only live so long without oxygen that was why in the limited amount of time that they had before they suffocated they needed to figure out what was going on.
While Yuu was having a crisis their phone finally decided to know it was the time to do something and not show a boring loading screen but a welcoming.
[ Welcome, Yuu to Twisted Wonderland. My name is D. Wilde I am your personal helper ]
The sound of an Alexa coming to Yuu’s ears
‘ D. Wilde? I was expecting something more y’know technological? ’
[ I am sorry that my name does not live up to your expectations. Please call me by however you wish if you please ]
‘ Nah it’s fine it’s not like I have a better name- … You read my mind didn’t you? ’
[ Affirmative. I am connected to your subconscious and mind to be available to you 24 hours a day ]
‘ … So… Wilde… you know where I am? ’
[ Scanning… Scanning Complete. Location: Twisted Wonderland, Night Raven Collage, The North Side of The Isle of The Lost Sages ]
‘ Well that helps a little I guess… ’
Hearing a little Alexa voice was a little comforting as to not go completely insane inside a box with little to no question of how they looked younger than their actual age, how and why they got here, what happened to their phone, and the main question was what happened when the mirror pulled them through.
‘ … Wilde tell me something, am I dead in my dorm? ’
[ Negative, you are not dead on Earth, only reported missing. ]
‘ Oh? How long has it been on Earth? ’
[ 1 week 3 days 23 hours 48 minutes and 11 seconds ]
‘ Shit… the assignments for sure gonna be piling up. ’
‘ Wait one week? The hell Wilde what’s the day today? The year would be nice to if you can ’
[ Affirmative. Today’s date is April 1st. 20XX ]
‘ It was literally May back on Earth… ’
Yuu’s thought and conversation with Wilde was interrupted by door squeaking and the box being moved.
“ Nnngh! Come on! ”
‘ Oh? What’s this? Wilde, can you tell me who’s on the outside? ’
[ Affirmative. Scanning… Scanning complete. ]
[ Name: Grim
Gender: Male
Species: Monster
Age: ???
Likes: Tuna
Dislikes: Work
Magic: Fire
Signature Magic: ???
Skills: [ Fire LV 6 ] [ Water LV 2 ] [ Void LV 5 ] [ Earth LV 1 ]
Mana: 90 + 20
Occupation: None
Title: None ]
“ Why won’t this open? ” Grim the monster questioned but he was just either too weak or not aware that the box opened from the inside. Either way Yuu didn’t care. They were too busy eyeing the Species and Signature Magic.
‘ Huh… Wilde what’s a- ’
“ Crap… people are coming, need to get a uniform while I still- ”
Yuu felt irked ‘ I’m sorry I know you did not just interrupt me while I was talking to Wilde. ‘ it was one thing to interrupt Yuu while they were physically speaking but thinking that was off limits.
‘ Wilde- ’
“ Time for my secret move! ”
‘ Wilde, murder legal in Twisted Wonderland? ’
[ Negative, although some areas permit it Night Raven College doesn’t ]
‘ Shame… I’m being burned alive aren’t I Wilde? ’
[ Affirmative. Grim is attempting to burn the coffin with you inside in an attempt to open it ]
‘ Right… aight I’m a head out ’ Yuu replied putting their phone back in their pocket
Yuu kicked the lid off and was finally greeted by air and day- sorry only light did they finally notice what they were wearing and their surroundings . Robes and a place full of coffins opened. In the center where they peeled themselves off the velvet coffin did they finally take notice of Grim.
“ Whaa! Why are you up! ” Grim shouted as if he wasn’t attempting to burn them alive.
“ Don’t ask stupid questions where you already know the answer, Tanuki. Anyone would wake up if a racoon was committing arson. ” If Grim was perhaps bigger and more intimidating Yuu would have spoken to him with a neutral tone but Grim frustrated Yuu instead of leaving Yuu empty ergo Yuu wouldn’t let it go that easy.
“ Just who are you calling a Tanuki! I'm the Great Grim! ” The monster gloated.
‘ … Wilde please tell me you can still hear my thoughts, without me looking at you and I can hear your voice. I need a sane person. ’ Yuu pleaded.
[ Affirmative. I am connected to your subconscious and mind to be available to you 24 hours a day ]
“ Literally never heard of you, Tanuki. '' Yuu replied, though their conversation with Wilde continued with a small Thank You from Yuu’s part.
“ Why you human- Nevermind it doesn’t matter, give me your clothes! Or I’ll roast ya! ”
…
Yuu deadpanned “ Exhibititionist, much? ”
Grim starred.
[ The character ‘ Grim ‘ has a decrease in favorability ]
Yuu was starting to fade into empty and a conversation with Wilde sounded much more entertaining than being forced to do something they didn’t want to do. So they did something. They ran away.
[ Would you like a map of Night Raven College? ]
‘ If you could Wilde ‘ Yuu was hearing Grim yell at to come back and to give them their robes but honestly Yuu just wanted to know the specifics of how they came to Twisted Wonderland and then the question if there was a way to head back or if there was a way would they want to go back.
All while Yuu was looking at the blue map glancing every now and then glancing up to make sure they didn’t trip and fall moving past the classrooms.
[ The location “ Homeroom “ has been added to your map ]
And instead now a jog through the courtyard.
[ The location “ Courtyard “ has been added to your map ]
Finally at their undesignated destination, a library.
Opening the door they glanced around noting the library having the essentials. Books, Chairs and Tables. Truly beautiful.
[ The location “ Library “ has been added to your map ]
‘ Wilde… question… how old am I? ’
[ 16 years of age ]
‘ Wonderful, wonderful… So can I ask you what does species mean? In Grim’s profile it showed that he was a monster so what other species are there? ’
[ There are 4 main types of species in Twisted Wonderland
Humans
Beastmen
Merfolk
Fae’s
Humans take the majority of the population in Twisted Wonderland. Beastmen are most notably found in Sunset Savanna. Merfolk are humanoid aquatic species that reside in the Coral Reef. Fae’s are fairies found primarily in Briar Valley
Does this answer your question? ]
‘ Very much so, also Wilde? Can you scan other things besides Grim? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Noice, can you scan me? ’
[ Affirmative. Please stand by while I scan you ]
“ Hu- Hu- Huma- Ack! Human- Haah- Hu- Hu- Haah-. '' Grim came running a few moments later.
In all honesty Yuu forgot he existed as his existence was simply unbeneficial to them despite conversing about him to Wilde literal seconds ago.
A strange thing to forget but then again Yuu could not remember half of their choir classmates' names despite being there for a semester.
“ Ahem! Didn’t think you could run forever now could you! Thought you could escape the great Grim? '' Grim taunted, ignoring the fact he was out of breath when Yuu was preoccupied with other matters.
“ Yeah buddy, like I’m going to believe the weasel that was panting when he caught up. ” Yuu replied.
“ Gr- You wretched human just hand over the un- Bwah! What was that for? A whip? ” Grim shrieked. Now rubbing his back
‘ Oh? Someone made him shut up for me? ’ Yuu silently promised to do a favor for the person.
What came before the two of them was a gentleman with a tophat. A mask with that of a crow remincest of a plague doctor with two shining eyes that glowed yellow in the dark. Feathers lay on the top of his shoulders with a dark coat upon him. Lips that were kissed upon death herself and skin as pale as it can be. Hair being that of a starless night with the sky’s clouds being shown at the bottom. His hands are an attachment of golden claws holding the whip.
If Yuu had to say what they thought of the man in front of them, they would say he was beautiful.
‘ Wilde scan this guy for me could you? ’
[ I would have to stop scanning you to scan him. Would you like for me to momentarily hold your scan to scan him? ]
‘ If you could ’
[ Affirmative. Scanning… ]
“ No! This is simply a lash of love! ” The crow man cried out to Grim.
‘ Lash of love? What is this BDSM? ’ Yuu contemplated saying aloud but decided not to as he made Grim shut up. Yuu blinked and this man was already so close to their face now.
“ Ah, found you at last. Are you one of the new students? So you were here after all! The ceremony has already begun! You are the only one left so I had to come find you! You- ” The man said.
‘ What’s with you stopping every few sentences? ’ Yuu grimianced.
“ I’m not their familiar! I am the Great Grim! ” Grim spoke.
“ Sure, sure, all the rebellious familiars say that. Just keep quiet for a moment. ” The man spoke. His voice commanding Grim as Grim just effectively shut up. Again Yuu promised to themself to do a favor for him. “ My goodness it is unheard of that a student would be so impatient to open the gate and leave of their own violation! ” The man was exasperated.
“ Never in my years of being an educator-! ” The man lamented was probably going on about something but Yuu was starting to space out they only truly got back into focus because Grim was complaining and they simply started screeching before the guy’s whip curled up like a snake and decided to cover his mouth before he grabbed the back of his neck like a cat.
Their attention turned back to Wilde.
[ Scanning complete ]
[ Name: Dire Crowley
Gender: Male
Species: ???
Age: ???
Likes: Vacations, Wild Game, Tea
Dislikes: Working, Responsibilities
Magic: ???
Signature Magic: ???
Skills: [ Negligence LV 7 ] [ Blackmailing LV 10] [ Authority LV 20] [ Occultism LV ??? ] [ Scroll down for more… ]
Mana: ???
Occupation: School Faculty of Night Raven College
Title: Headmaster of Night Raven College ]
‘ He… He’s just like me for real… Oh? You couldn’t figure out his magic, Wilde? ’
[ My apologies, I was only able to figure out his species something is blocking me from accessing his full information ]
‘ Interesting… continue scanning me Wilde
[ Affirmative. Resuming Scanning… ]
Yuu did not realize that Crowley had grabbed their hand and was guiding them towards the school again murmuring about another human who’s head was up in the clouds. They stepped back and looked up at him.
“ My apologies sir, I was momentarily lost in thought. Can you please tell me who you are and where you’re taking me? ” Yuu conversed. While Yuu was slowly feeling the emptiness fill up with more and more curiosity they did feel that Crowley was taken aback by their language.
Slowly Crowley did say “ A polite one that’s rare. ”
[ The character [ Dire Crowley ] has a slight favorable impression of you ]
“ Well I am the principal of Night Raven College here, Dire Crowley. ” Crowley explained now that Yuu’s attention was on him he let go of their hand assuming they would follow him.
A quick hand stopped him in his tracks.
‘ Well my dear old headmaster if you like me being polite how do you feel about me being clingy? Will that raise my favorability? Or drop it? ’ Yuu thought.
[ The character ‘ Dire Crowley ’ is confused by your actions ]
‘ Well poo. ’ Yuu thought.
If Yuu grabbed onto his hand he was simply hallucinating.
If Crowley didn’t say anything and continued moving forward from his sudden stop Yuu didn’t question it.
“ Ahem. The ones who have the privilege of attending my school are those who are chosen by the Mirror of Darkness as having the excellent markings of a magician! There should have been a carriage arrived in your residence to welcome you with open arms- ” Crowley explained.
Yuu furrowed their brows. No carriage had ever shown up in their apartment, not one. The reason why they were here in the first place was because their bathroom mirror decided to grow hands one day and drag them in here.
Still Yuu refocused their attention on Crowley.
“ Would you not agree that a carriage is the only way of transportation on a special day? After all, this procession has been in fashion since the immemorial. To welcome all the students into my school. ” Crowley exclaimed, stopping to look at Yuu for approval.
While Yuu now knew how they would have gotten here if they were a citizen of Twisted Wonderland they had no new information of how and why they arrived here.
Yuu looked up at Crowley and nodded. And Crowley smiled in return.
The moment was quickly ruined by Grim.
“ MMMPPPHHH- MMHH- ” A Grim muffled.
“ Ah! I had nearly forgotten, let us attend the opening ceremony, or at least what’s left of it at least. ” Crowley said, pushing the doors open.
No matter what. Do not let go of that hand, at all costs
‘ Okay random dialogue that appeared in my brain ’
Yuu let go of Crowley’s hand. Together they enter the room.
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Crowley opened the doors only to be greeted by murmurs and whispers. Those mumbles of what was taking so long. Those that questioned what classes they would be in. Those who complained that they should have been in a different dorm. Y’know those kinds of whispers.
They came to a halt however when Crowley and Yuu came into the room as Yuu felt more eyes than they can count on the two of them and Yuu sent a prayer up above that they let go of Crowley’s hand before coming into the room. The sight of someone holding an authority figure's hand would not be a good one.
They looked a bit like them dressed in the night covered robes with violet and gold. Sure some were tall and had the hairdresser of Atsushi Nakajima and some were short looking like the sibling of Agni from Black Butler but that was that they all well majority looked the same.
Yuu was scanning around the room hoping to make fun of more people or see them as anime characters in an attempt to humor themself, an example being one with glasses and a beauty mark looking a little too much like Kyoya Otori. All in all a little fun game. Plus they were all very beautiful so it was nice to see the aesthetics.
Though Crowley’s voice took them out of their head.
“ One of the student’s went missing so I took the responsibility to bring them back! Children these days, no patience or respect for your elders! Back in my day… ” Crowley was muttering.
Yuu spaced out again.
If Yuu had an opinion of Crowley they would describe him as entertaining to watch. While he hasn’t done anything good or bad in their eyes besides making Grim shut up, you had to admit he was a comedic character. Now he gestured to Yuu holding Grim the Tanuki around with the raccoon still trying to escape.
“ Now, you’re the only one who hasn’t been put into a dorm yet. I'll keep your familiar at arms length now, go hurry and state your name to the mirror. ” Crowley gestured to Yuu.
And Yuu compiled taking the time to walk and stare their surroundings mirrors everywhere; ‘ I now dub thee “ Hall of Mirrors ” ’
[ The location “ Hall of Mirrors ” has been added to your Map ]
‘ Wait, that's the actual name? This isn’t even a hall it’s a room ’
[ Affirmative ]
The mirror appeared to Yuu sight as Yuu took notice that they arrived. If Yuu were to describe the mirror they’d say think of the masks you see in theater the frowning one, though this was unpleasant as they though the mirror looked a little to much like the bathroom mirror in Yuu’s apartment.
- State thy name
‘ When did Sidney Glass turn into a mirror? ’ Yuu joked to themself.
“ Yuu. ”
- Yuu… The shape of thy soul is..-
[ The program D. Wilde is detecting a parasite in its host ]
[ Anomaly detected ]
[ D. Wilde has nullified anomaly ]
‘ Wilde? ’
- I don’t know.
‘ Wilde answer me, is this what your doing? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Can I ask why? ’
[ My programming was sensing danger when the mirror was looking at your soul. If looked at for to long you would have passed out from shock ]
‘ So you did it for me? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Oh. Okay then ’
Yuu liked Wilde.
“ -gain? ” Crowley questioned. Yuu now noticed that the students face all shared a look the look of “ What The Actual Fuck ”.
- I… can’t tell. Their soul is filled with nothing and nothing more, they are filled to the brim with the abyss. Their soul is empty. Therefore they are not suited to any dormitory - The mirror finished reciting.
Nothing and empty filled Yuu. This was an outcome they expected and they weren’t going to pretend or deny anything.
“ … I didn’t know that your Mirror could write poetry. '' was all that Yuu said before they were grabbed a hold of the shoulders by Crowley.
“ Aren’t you breathing right now? How are you still alive if your soul is empty? How do you not have a thing of concrete in your soul??? ” Crowley demanded, still shaking Yuu. Yuu took one of Crowley’s hands off their shoulders and placed his fingers on their neck to where their pulse was located.
“ I mean if my pulse is still beating I’m pretty sure I’m alive. ” Yuu answered. They weren't so bothered if someone's hands kept pushing on their pulse but they were getting tired of seeing Crowley’s eyes looking so concerned.
“ In 100 years there has not once been a mistake in student selection. So why in Seven’s Name would… ” Crowley said, focusing on Yuu’s pulse.
‘ Note to self ask Wilde about Seven ” Yuu thought.
Yuu then realized if one of Crowley’s hands was on their shoulder and the other was checking their pulse who was holding Grim.
“ Headmaste- ”
Then they were interrupted by a Tanuki.
“ Mgh! Mmggh! Pah- Then I’ll just take their place. ” Grim exclaimed
‘ Unlikely. ’ Yuu thought as Crowley turned his attention to Grim.
“ Stay right there you racoon! '' Crowley shouted, taking their hands off Yuu attempting to catch Grim again.
“ Unlike that dumb human I actually have a soul and magic! If you need proof then I’ll show you it right now! ” Grim announced, grinning ear to ear.
“ Everyone get down now! ” a voice hollered. Yuu turned to see who the owner of the voice was and saw a boy with scarlet hair and sterling eyes. ‘ He’s pretty, ’ Yuu commented.
“ Nyahahahaha! ” Grim was casting spewing fire around the Hall of Mirrors and everyone within his eyesight. Everyone was attempting to dodge not to get charred but one unfortunately was caught on fire.
“ WAAH- HOT- My butt’s on fire! ” A boy shrieked. Yuu followed the sound of a boy running around people avoiding him. ‘ Stop, drop and roll my guy. ’ Yuu grimianced as they walked away from Crowley and mirror to the boy.
Yuu spoke these thoughts to him “ Stop moving, you're only going to get more burned, drop on the ground and roll until I say stop! ” Yuu hoped he would follow their instructions mostly because they couldn’t bear to watch, Yuu heard the most painful death was burning and they didn’t want to live with the thought someone got 3rd degree burns because of them.
As instructed ( most likely because no one else was saying anything they were too busy trying to catch Grim ) the boy did drop on the ground and start rolling, Yuu keeping an eye on him to see if the fire was starting to die. Luckily it did. “ Stop! It’s gone now, ” Yuu exclaimed.
The boy stopped and was still on the ground when he looked up at Yuu. Yuu took in his features and then they remembered he was the one they commented to look like an anime character, the little sibling of Agni.
“ Thank you! ” the boy said. Yuu merely shrugged and said “ No problem. “ Yuu was attempting to leave the conversation but was grabbed by the hand by the boy saying “ Come to Scarabia we should throw a party for saving me! ” the boy said.
‘ This is a problem then ’ If there was one thing Yuu didn’t really like it was parties. Parties meant interacting. Interacting meant using effort. Effort meant being exhausted. Clearly a no go situation.
Yuu simply replied “ If you want to thank me you can just tell me your name. ” Maybe if they did research they could find if they were useful or not.
The boy simply blinked and smiled saying “ My name’s Kalim Al-Asim! ” Yuu nodded. A sudden thought rushed through their head. It was the favorability meter. Grim did not like them, Crowley liked that they were polite so the question is would this make their favorability rise or low to Kalim.
Yuu reached their hand to ruffle Kalim’s hair.
“ Stay safe, Kalim. ” Yuu retracted their hand. Then walked back to Crowley leaving Kalim dumbfounded.
[ The character ‘ Kalim Al-Asim ‘ has a positive opinion of you ]
‘ Aight, well that’s good at least. Note to self get Wilde to scan Kalim later now what’s happening with ’
“ Law of the Queen of Hearts; Number 23 ” One shall never bring a cat into a festival. Your presence disrupts the rules, I shall have you removed at once. “ the red haired boy said.
‘ Queen of Hearts… Well this place is called Twisted Wonderland. I shouldn't be surprised that they have a Queen of Hearts. ’
“ I’m not a cat! I’ll burn this collar right up and … nyeh? I can’t use my fire! ” Grim screeched. Yuu took notice of Grim the moment they were within arms length of Crowley, Grim was struggling against a crimson collar around his neck. Yuu thought the collar looked pretty.
“ Hmph, you won’t be using any magic until I remove that collar. Now you’re simply an ordinary cat. ” The boy answered. All while Yuu was feeling peeved that Wilde was still not done with their own scan. The whole I will have to stop scanning you to scan others is weird not to mention they’re literally not that impressive. They rate this service 3 stars out of 5.
[ Scanning complete ]
‘ Speak of the devil and he doth appear ’
[ Name: Yuu
Gender: Hermaphrodite
Species: ???
Age: 16 ( Mental 26 )
Likes: Beautiful people,Antiques,Food
Dislikes: Loud noises,Cosmetics,Sports
Magic: ???
Signature Magic: ???
Skills: [ Procrastination LV 13 ] [ Apathy LV 18 ] [ Physical Strength LV 9 ] [ Authority LV 14 ] [ Accelerated Thought LV 17] [ D. Wilde LV 5 ] [ Mental Fortitude LV 11 ] [ Scroll for more… ]
Mana: ???
Occupation: None
Title: None ]
‘ Wait so I’m not human anymore? ’
[ Your body was altered to fit into this world, like when the mirror was trying to look into your soul and I nullified its effects; I did something else similar. When you were brought into this world I could not determine which species would fit you so you would remain anonymous along with your magic. The more time you spend here in Twisted Wonderland the better I can get a grasp on what you are and your magic ]
‘ So you’re saying the more time I spend in Twisted Wonderland the more you’ll be able to figure out what and who I am? Like a “ Choose Your Own Adventure “ thing? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Cool, coolio, cool beans… Why am I a hermaphrodite though? ’
[ It was under my assumption that you wanted a harem for yourself and I quote thought ‘ Yes, it seems I have died and restarted my life as a teenager, became the most powerful magician and gained a harem in the process. ’ end quote. ]
‘ … I am now starting to regret multiple choices that led to me thinking that ’ Yuu facepalmed.
Though for once Yuu thought of a benefit ‘ Hey at least now I can say I’m gay or straight and no one can say I’m wrong, plus there's the “ Are you being sexist “ loophole ” chuckling.
Yuu’s attention was turned back to Crowley when they said to better discipline Grim as their familiar interrupting him with a.
“ The tanuki is not mine therefore I have no obligation to discipline him or take responsibility for him. ”
Yuu could not blame Crowley for assuming they were Grim’s master because they did not deny or accept that Grim was a familiar and it was Grim’s word against theirs so Grim would have never been taken seriously.
And because they refused to take responsibility for Grim they relished in the fact that they saw Grim struggle against the collar and see his desperation to enter the school. All in all a good sight to see. A true humiliating sight for the “ Great ” Grim.
The tension was thick. You can cut a knife through it. But Crowley soon broke it.
“ Ahem. We had a bit of… trouble along the way but this brings the entrance ceremony to a close. Dormitory Heads, if you could escort the new students to their respective Dormitories. ” Crowley said, taking leadership.
“ …Hm? Now that I think about it, I don’t see the Dorm Leader for Diasomnia. Mr. Draconia, around at all? '' Crowley looked for the missing person.
“ That’s no different from usual, is it? ” A man stepped aside to remove the hood from his robe. Yuu took notice that aside from being handsome ( They’ll give a description later ) that he was a beastmen.
‘ Wilde scan for Mr. Draconia would you ’
“ What did nobody tell him about the ceremony? ” Yuu heard Kalim speak.
[ I am unable to do that ]
A beautiful man said this in return to Kalim “ If you’re going to complain, you should have done it yourself. ” Yuu decided they liked him, he was to the point. More importantly however.
‘ What do you mean you can’t do that? You were able to scan Grim! ’
“ Hm… but I don’t really know anything about that guy. ” Kalim sulked.
[ Mr. Draconia needs to be within 20 meters of you or me to be able to get a scan and if those options aren’t available you must know what the person looks like, my apologies ]
‘ Tch, aight ’
The whispers of gossiping youths were enough to bring their attention back to T.W.
“ By Draconia… does he mean that Malleus Draconia? ”
‘ Well unless he has a family member here I can’t imagine any other Malleus Draconia ’ Yuu complained
“ Is he seriously attending this school? ”
‘ Well why else would his last name be brought up! ’ Yuu berated them.
“ Scary… ”
‘ My dude… you’re not very well liked now are ya? ’ Yuu did not know who or did they care for Malleus Draconia but they did know that they felt pity for the man. To be disliked or feared by this many kids Yuu could conclude that Malleus is either really hot, scary, or lonely.
“ I thought he might come but it seems he didn’t get the invitation again. ” A short male said Yuu thought like he looked like Columbina from Genshin. A favoritism for him was inevitable.
Yuu now saw the strawberry haired boy was apologizing and now that Wilde was done with their own scan now it was time for the raspberry boy.
‘ Wilde scan him for me would you? ’
[ Affirmative. Scanning… Scanning complete ]
[ Name: Riddle Rosehearts
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Age: 17
Likes: Strawberry tarts,Hedgehogs,Rules
Dislikes: Rulebreakers,Junk food
Magic: Fire
Signature Magic: Off With Your Head
Skills: [ Fire LV 17 ] [ Void LV 15 ] [ Water LV 14 ] [ Earth LV 12 ] [ Influence LV 15 ] [ Accelerated Thought LV 16 ] [ Scroll for more… ]
Mana: 240
Occupation: Housewarden of Heartslabyul,Second Year of Night Raven College
Title: The Rose-Red Tyrant ]
‘ He’s a tyrant? Shame, also Wilde I meant to ask you this earlier but what’s signature magic? ’
[ A spell distinctive to the caster. ]
‘ Noice, noice ’
Yuu was not aware that the only people left were just them and Crowley with Crowley still looking puzzled on the whole empty thing. Yuu only took their attention back when Crowley put their hand on their shoulder.
“ Yuu, if I may ask… are you not so concerned that your soul is empty? “ Crowley asked.
“ … I really fail to comprehend myself as a human being to say, I don’t really know what it means to be full as opposed to empty. Every second of consciousness I kinda feel empty. ” Yuu said nonchalantly, resting their eyes.
They weren’t going to lie but they wanted to try something different. The mirror brought them here for something; They were isekaied for fuck’s sake, but they didn’t want to start out with deceit and lies no. Yuu got tired of lies because humans were too good at it and Yuu learned from being deceived. They were going to try to tell the truth to Crowley when they could because no one knew who or what they were anymore. And Yuu wanted answers themselves.
And the answers they had were a speck of dust behind the questions. Someone’s time is running out and they should never let go of a hand and Yuu didn’t know if the hand was metaphorical or physical so they’d just do both. Yuu knew that time in Twisted Wonderland was different from that of Earth so they’d learn to adjust to the new time. Yuu needed to figure out why them. Yuu was not a saint but all stories like this had to have a hero or heroine. And Yuu was put into the position of the protagonist against their will.
So, if they were a protagonist they’d simply put on a show for whoever was there. Yuu opened their eyes again to that face again.
Crowley looked conflicted.
Yuu was simply too tired to care.
“ You could simply send me back to my home, I don’t mind headmaster. “ Yuu lied. Yuu knew that they could not be sent back home. The mirror forcefully brought them here so it would make the only sense that they could only be brought back forcefully by the mirror or as the stories go they never return. Yuu didn’t mind.
Crowley frowned “ Are you sure? ”
‘ Yes, I’m positive this is going to fail ’ Yuu nodded.
Crowley was communicating with the mirror all while Yuu was saying this
‘ Wilde do everything you can to make sure I don’t return to Earth or he doesn’t try to look at my soul. ’
[ Affirmative ]
“ Enter the gate and picture your home clearly in your mind. ” Crowley communicated behind them.
‘ I don’t have a home. I had a house but never a home ’
“ Oh Dark Mirror! Guide this one back to the place they belong! ” Crowley announced.
[ The program D.Wilde is perceiving a irregularity in its host ]
[ Inconsistency found ]
[ D.Wilde has removed the inconsistency ]
‘ Thank you Wilde ’
Silence like they planned now Crowley’s turn.
“ Once more. Oh Dark Mirror! Guide this- ”
- It is nowhere.
‘ Perfect ’ Yuu struggled not to smile.
“ Eh? ” Crowley baffled out.
- The place they belong to is nowhere in this world. It does not exist.
“ How can this be… This is unbelievable! Hm… well the unbelievable has been on parade today. This is the first time it’s ever happened since I became headmaster. What should I… Yuu, if I may inquire where you came from? ” Crowley asked, suspicions rising.
‘ Well I did say I would tell you the truth when I could ’ Yuu reasoned to themself.
“ Aomori, Japan. ” Yuu spoke the truth. A truth they knew would get Crowley and themself nowhere.
Crowley blinked. Stared at Yuu then blinked again.
[ The character ‘ Dire Crowley ‘ is doubting your existence ]
“ I’ve never heard of it. I’ve memorized all the places where my students may or may not have been born but I’ve never heard of Aomori, Japan. ” Crowley muttered to Yuu.
‘ Well that should have been obvious from the get go, Japan obviously does not exist in Twisted Wonderland ’ Yuu commented.
“ Perhaps the library will be more knowledgeable than us two… follow me Yuu. ” Crowley proclaimed, turning around.
Yuu followed closely behind not attempting to make small talk; they were simply observing that was all. The story went like this.
Yuu was empty
Yuu stumbled into a bathroom
And their mirror provided them entry
Into a path through
Fell to the mirror
They were in a wonderland
But who would be their White Rabbit
To this Dreamland
Nearer to their destination
Is where the carrot lies
As simple as that. Crowley took out books and was searching for Aomori Japan. Yuu skimmed through the pages conversing with themselves about the history of this world. Or they tried to, but Yuu seemed to have forgotten that the human body unfortunately needs rest. And while their species was still certainty undecided even they needed to rest and fall into the realm of subconsciousness. So as their eyes were getting droopy with slumber they turned their palms to rest their head and think.
Right now they needed to think of a game plan. Yuu had nothing on them besides their phone, no money,no I.D,no house and no bitches. That needed to change. They needed to become someone close to Crowley to change that. Crowley was the headmaster so they had to have connections at best. Yuu had no dignity but a lot of pride so if they had to do scummy work for an authority figure they’d do it and be the greatest for the cash.
The world as they knew it was gone different even morality could be in a totally different area here. Ergo they had to learn when the line was okay to cross and when it shouldn’t. Yuu was well versed in pissing people off and flattery. You don’t survive your siblings by annoying them and not kissing their ass when you get caught doing something. So they had to rely on their silver tongue and take advantage of gaslighting when the chance came.
For now Yuu knew two things. They had to suck up to Crowley and do his dirty work to get money and they had to rely on their smartass to grab connections. They’d work out the rest of the details when they weren’t fighting the urge to fall asleep forever. Finally Crowley took his eyes off the countless books.
“ This is quite the predicament… Now that it has come to this… Yuu do you have any sort of identification? ” Crowley asked.
“ Nop- Actually I believe I do. ” Yuu cut themselves off.
‘ Uh, Wilde, what the hell are I talking about? I don’t have an I.D? Also how the hell did I tell a lie??? ’
[ Negative. You have your phone ]
‘ … So you want me to show you to Crowley? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Okay, okay… Wilde… Be honest with me. Did you just take control of my body to say that? ’
Yuu took their phone out of their pocket and handed it to Crowley
[ The character ‘ Dire Crowley ‘ appreciates your honesty ]
[ Affirmative ]
‘ … Why? I don’t believe I gave you permission to take control of my body. I’m going to ask you this and I want a clear answer. Can you right now take control of my body without me knowing? ’
Crowley examined the phone.
[ Affirmative, I have the ability to do that this instance. Would you like to enable Auto-Pilot? ]
‘ … Was you taking control of my body for my own good? ’
[ You said you were tired of lies and deceit and would try to tell the truth when you could. You were about to unknowingly lie to Crowley possibly damaging your plan to get close to him ]
‘ … Okay. Wilde let me ask something: are you awake 24 hours a day do you need rest at all? ’
[ Negative. I am a program and your personal helper. I do not need to rest at all. Even when you are asleep I am still active ]
‘ Alright. Wilde I got a job for you. Every time I fall asleep if necessary control my body and find out what you can about Twisted Wonderland. I was brought here to fix a problem most likely so I’ll see what I can do ’
[ Affirmative ]
Crowley turned his head towards Yuu placing the phone in Yuu's hand “ This is concerning… I’ve never seen this model before in my life… it seems my assumption about you was correct… In any case I have never seen or heard of your home in my life. Seeing as that the mirror can’t bring you back and I can’t just let a student out on their own with no transportation home… ”
If Yuu focused on their hearing they could hear wheels turning.
“ For I am so kind, I will allow you to take residence in an unused building on campus, with a bit of cleaning you should be able to live there. ” Crowley spoke. The phrase ‘ For I am so kind ’ rang a couple bells till they realized that everytime Crowley spoke they always used that phrase one way or another. Just that Yuu was spacing out and talking to Wilde to notice that.
Crowley grinned at Yuu. “ We must hurry if we’re even a moment late. I'm afraid we will get soaked by the rain. ”
Crowley held out their hand for Yuu
Yuu nodded.
Yuu took the hand laid before them.
‘ Let’s see our new place Wilde ’
-----------------------------------------------------------
‘ Crowley you slate-colored seedeater, you’re worse than a black-bibbed cicadabird. Kindness my ass ’
Yuu was backtracking everything they said now. If they were gonna do errands for Crowley they better believe they’re gonna milk this man dry of everything he has and owns. While the residence held a sort of charm to them Yuu have to admit that the entire building was a health violation.
‘ Wilde tell me how long you think this is going to take to clean this shithole? ’
[ Approximately 2 weeks with no sleep and no rest ]
‘ … Faq… Aight well we’re gonna have to clean this up the both of us we’re not living like this ’
“ Please, come in Yuu. ” Crowley said and led them into the residence. Yuu was all too much turning their head to care who and what they were stepping on. The inside was so-so their residence needed much work. Work that will exhaust both Wilde and themself so they sent a quiet prayer to the gods that Wilde and their body doesn’t give themself up.
And their plan was to first clean the lounge,master bedroom if they had one, bathroom, and a kitchen. Anything else would have to wait; like the outside.
The floorboards creaked below them and Yuu made a mental note to cost Crowley for repairing and tools. They examined the holes on the ceiling. Droplets falling down the floor wearing down the floorboards. Fascinating. They can’t WAIT to clean this.
Yuu drifted away from Crowley’s hand looking at the wall paper and portraits. The wallpaper tearing down and the portraits have long lost their faces that you can no longer admire. And while Yuu was a fan of antiques, and history, this was far too worn down to be admired and saved.
Crowley cleared his throat to draw Yuu’s attention.
“ Please stay here, while I do some more research. It’s not much but will keep you out of the rain, do make yourself comfortable and at home. ” Crowley turned his back to them.
‘ So you know this building is falling apart but put me in? ’ Yuu complained.
Crowley shoved a bucket,broom,rags, and a mop into Yuu’s arm. Yuu was baffled by how fast he took it out. A few swears screaming at Crowley at how they expected Yuu to clean so much.
All while Yuu held a blank face.
Crowley dusted his hands and placed a hand on Yuu’s shoulder
‘ If he was confused with me holding his hand, why the hell is he doing unnecessary touches? ’ Yuu thought.
“ And also don’t go wandering around the campus! Goodbye! ” Crowley took his hand off the shoulder, turned his back, opened the door and flew to the sky.
Yuu set the materials down and watched through the open door as Crowley flew off. Yuu was still upset at Crowley but they had to admit this.
‘ He’s got a flair for dramatic exits, I respect that ’ Yuu applauded. All while Yuu took a step back and closed the door. They were about to get started with the cleaning.
“ Wilde activate Auto-Pilot, clean the lounge and kitchen. ” Yuu announced.
[ Auto-Pilot Engaged ]
Yuu felt their body moving according to the orders they spoke to, and Yuu decided to let their subconscious rest telling Wilde.
‘ Wilde, please take care of the lounge and kitchen if Crowley or someone else shows up wake me up please ’
[ Affirmative, rest well ]
‘ Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon ’
Yuu felt their subconscious turn to black and Yuu did not fight against it. All while Wilde was in control of Yuu’s body, cleaning the lounge silently.
----------------------------------------------------------
Wilde was preoccupied with matters in the kitchen sweeping the dust off the counter and chairs. Their programming was detecting no threats to their host. All that was their were the ghosts in the upstairs and the rain but seeing as the ghosts were long inhabitants of Ramshackle they were not harmful they let the ghosts be.
The kitchen was now clean. It was the best it could be when the Ramshackle Dormitory was falling apart. Either way the kitchen was now prepared to be cooked without the danger of cobwebs,dust or rats. Onto the lounge it shall be now.
Wilde was cleaning the lounge following their orders when they sensed something within 20 meters. Now 14 meters. Now 10 meters.
“ Scanning… Scanning not needed. ” Wilde said nonchalantly.
They scanned him before so the only logical conclusion was to wake Yuu.
[ Attention. Familial scan is coming this way ]
‘ Mmmh? Seriously I thought I’d get to rest a little bit more the hell… Who is it? ’
[ Grim ]
‘ Ugh… alright let me take over turn off Auto-Pilot ‘
[ Auto-Pilot Disengaged ]
Yuu felt that their subconscious was willingly returning back to their body right in time for Grim’s monologue.
" Hikk! It's really coming down! "
Yuu now recognized what Grim was now based on the fantasy stories they read. No he was not a familiar. He was the Robin to their Batman. Y’know even worse than a familiar. And since Wilde was not able to determine what kind of magic they used, having a fire breathing cat would do them good.
Was he annoying? Oh, very much so.
Will it be worth it? Probably, stories like this always though always had a cause and effect.
Gaining a positive relationship with Grim will probably gain a benefit for them in the long run.
And if he ever thought to betray them or act to hurt them.
Yuu will kill him without hesitation.
They saw Grim jump onto the open window, squeeze through and land on the Kitchen. They’ll have to mop that up later. Grim now noticed the presence of Yuu, their eyes following his every movement.
“ Gyaa!!! Why are you here?! ” Grim questioned. Again Yuu felt that familiar irk in their bones. Asking meaningless questions again that have obvious answers again Grim was doing.
Yuu sighed “ I thought we were over this? No stupid questions you already know the answer to? Well since I am kind I’ll tell you. I now live here. ” Making first impressions was now useless. Grim knew them as an Empty Vessel so no point in trying to be something they weren’t. But what they can do is try to form a positive relationship with Grim for his magic.
Yuu walked over to Grim but Grim ran away from Yuu, a type of glare being drawn on them. Yuu opened their mouth to say “ I know you don’t like me but let’s try to tolerate each other. I prefer for the both of us not to be soaked in the rain. Or you, considering I can get the headmaster in here and turn you into racoon stew. ”
Grim gawked at them.
Yuu gave out the olive branch to Grim. Of course it was a rotten,broken,dry branch but hey it was an olive branch beggars can’t be choosers.
" Tsk, I have no trouble sneaking into the school grounds. If you think being threatened into stew is enough to scare me off, you've got another thing coming! ” the" terrifying " Grim said while his eyes were scurrying off to find exists. Normal thing to do.
Yuu smiled knowing their threat worked. Besides, they weren’t bark and no bite. They’ll do it. Still gazing at Grim they then asked him this “ Grim, I am actually curious why do you believe that Night Raven College should have sent a carriage for you? ” A fish n’ hook.
And Grim bit. “ Nyeh? No one’s bothered to ask me that since I’ve been here… ” Grim puffed up his chest. “ Fine, since you asked for it, I'm a genius so I'm destined to be a great magician! Ever since I can think of my own I knew that I was destined to be the greatest student Night Raven College ever had! ” Now this brought Yuu's attention. Does Grim actually possess a consciousness that monsters usually don’t have, perhaps?
" I've been waiting for the ebony carriage to come pick me up to go to this school but…but… ” Grim looked like he might sob.
And Yuu was not about to comfort him. They have no experience with comforting people. Humans,Merfolk,Beatmen,Fae’s or monsters have no experience with people crying or themself crying so they would just stare and see if Grim would stop himself from crying.
Luckily Grim did have some decency and turned his head away from Yuu his arms crossed. “ Hmph! The Dark Mirror just doesn't have an eye for a potential like me, so that's why I came here on my own. Not letting me in would be a loss for the world, humans just don't get it. ” Grim gloated. Now Yuu reached a conclusion.
Grim thought he was a powerful,genius wizard.
Yuu thought of Grim as a Chunibyo.
‘ No one can be THAT arrogant surely ’ Then Yuu thought of all the dictators, emperors, presidents, and world powers back in their world. ’ Well at least he’s got that covered part of being a Chunibyo.
Perhaps all those past figures Yuu mentioned were Chunibyo in disguise.
Yuu closed their eyes and decided to give them a piece of advice. Turning towards the monster Yuu said this.
“ Alright I’m speaking to you as an empty vessel to a great magician. ”
Yuu felt like gagging this lie was too obvious for their taste.
“ But I’m actually being real Grim, I saw the fire you made at the entrance ceremony. It was really impressive that stunt you pulled off seriously. ”
A lie, Yuu could easily make a fire that big with a matchstick
“ If you continue at this rate you may find that you probably don’t need Night Raven College. You have already progressed so far without NRC. ”
Truly a lie.
Grim would see through it no doubt.
“ R-really? You mean it? ” Grim sniffled.
‘ Holy shit that actually worked? I was just talking out of my ass ’ Yuu was dumbfounded.
“ Obviously, I AM the Great Grim. ” Grim snapped out of crying. Yuu sighed in relief. No crying, what a relief.
Yuu looked around and noticed the rain getting harder and harder. Good that will mean they’ll sleep nice. Bad weather outside will be all muddy and cold but hey you win some you lose some. Grim deemed Yuu not to be a threat ( stupid of him ) and started moving around the dorm. Yuu allowed him to get familiar in his prison.
“ I’ll be upstairs. You need anything come up. I'm not going down for you. '' Again Yuu decided to tell the truth. And climbing up that stairs and down cost stamina and no offense Yuu was not about that life.
Yuu examined the upstairs corridor. Dusty to be expected, and cold. Yuu hoped there was a little less cleaning to be done with what Wilde did.
Yes Yuu was aware they were being watched. Wilde sent them a notification about that awhile ago. What Yuu needed to do however was to buy their time till they show themself. Then they can charge rent. For now they couldn’t do shit without logical evidence.
“ Where the hell is the bathroom in this place… ” Being sanitary was important after all even in a new world. And since Yuu obviously did not have a shred of what diseases, illnesses, sicknessess, are in T.W and if their knowledge in the medical field is useful for nothing in this world the least they can do is keep their body and health good instead of treating themselves.
“ Hee, hee, hee! ” A voice giggled. Yuu now knew that the ghosts decided to show themselves to them. Of course though Yuu was waiting for Grim to come up. This is the type of scenario where creatures bond with each other over a traumatic event. So Yuu waited.
The ghosts were a trio all wearing matching outfits.
A thin one with a top hat who’s features were sunken.
A big boned one who reminds Yuu of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man wearing a cape.
And another who looked like Marshmallow Man’s son
“ Ah ha ha! ” laughed the Marshmallow Man son.
“ Ho ho ho! ” he Marshmallow Man echoed. “ It’s the first guest we’ve had in a while! ”
“ Time for us to show off! ” the sunken one added.
‘ Well a reaction is better than nothing I guess ‘ Yuu contemplated.
“ Aaah… aah… ah. '' Yuu announced monotone. Like Yuu commented once before, beggars can’t be choosers so Grim better haul his ass over here before Yuu had to again pretend to be frightened out of their wits end.
“ Gee, why is it so loud… Hik! Gh-gh-ghosts! ” Grim screeched. Seems he finally came up the stairs. Alas now the plot could truly get started. Yuu raised their hand to their mouth to cover a smile.
“ The guys who lived here before got soooo scared of us, they all ran away! ” M.M son did a twirl the white wisps covering the floor.
“ We’ve been looking for a new ghost companion for a loooong time. ” M.M said, his smile and eyes widening within the second they spotted Grim.
‘ Yo, you cool with us living here then? And paying rent! Oh this is just too good to be true! ’ Yuu thought.
“ How about it, kids? ” the sunken one asked, flying in a circle. “ Why don’t you jooooin us? ”
‘ Not a kid ”
“ Forever! ”
‘ I mean if the mirror will allow it sure ”
“ Ha ha ha! ”
“ Ho ho ho! ”
“ Hee hee hee! ”
“ Cool rent is on the first of next month. ”
Yuu’s answer was the one they did not expect.
All four looked at them like they were crazy. Like they weren’t expecting whatever that was. The ghosts looked dumbfounded. Grim looked like he met true insanity. About time he did; that the new owner of the house was just as crazy and just as weird like him if not more.
“ Grim. Fire at them. ” Yuu announced.
[ Would you like to use the skill [ Authority ] ? ]
‘ Affirmative ’
And Grim followed orders. He followed his unwanted orders. Though he did struggle. He struggled to carry it out because he did not want to follow their orders. And that caused some of the hallway to get burned. But in their general direction. Well it was okay. Discipline was something Yuu was taught first hand and seared into their bones. So they’ll try with Grim in a gentler way. And if that didn’t work. Then they would have to admit that their beloathed bloodline and foes were correct. And Yuu didn’t want that.
All while the ghosts were taunting them. Taunting Grim that they’ll have to try harder to get rid of them.
[ Due to the low relationship between the character [ Grim ] and the user. The character [ Grim ] will struggle against the skill [ Authority ] ]
‘ Bribery it is then ’ Yuu smiled. Hopefully Grim will follow expectations.
‘ Wilde, turn off [ Authority ] I wanna try a different method ’
[ Affirmative ]
[ The skill [ Authority ] has been stopped ]
Grim was still firing at the ghosts. Perhaps he was simply trying to get back at the ghosts for taunting him. All while Yuu looked at Grim’s likes. Tuna. He really is a cat.
While Grim was panting trying to catch his breath that Yuu said this “ C’mon Grim you can do it! This is step one of becoming an amazing wizard controlling and aiming your magic! If you do it I’ll give you a tuna can! ” That caught Grim’s attention.
Stroking one’s ego and empty promises were something that Yuu was wildly adept at. Though they did mean to give Grim a can. Can’t have someone willingly to use your magic for you if you simply built on nothing.
Grim looked to Yuu contemplating. Yuu continued “ To your right Grim. I’ll be your eyes. You can do this! ” Yuu preached.
Grim finally said, “ Fine! Better be two tuna cans henchmen! ”
‘ Two? Fine, I can be lenient. However I’ll have to show him some manners after all. ’ Yuu’s name was Yuu. They weren’t going to be called or respond to anything but Yuu.
All while the duo had formed a silent agreement based on one thing. The agreement of Tuna. If Yuu was Grim's eyes, then Grim was Yuu’s magic.
M.M got toasted.
" I hit one! " Grim exclaimed in disbelief before his lips were replaced with a victorious smirk " Now we’re talking! Now let's chase them all outta here! Henchmen faster! "
-----------------------------------------------------------
Grim was panting. Yuu was observing. Grim was obedient when he was getting into it. They could use this. The ghosts were long gone. Scared of being burnt. Yuu forgot to remind them the total for rent money. That was okay. They were kind. They’ll let it go. For now.
“ We… We won? ” Grim breathed out. “ Ha..Ha.. that was scary-I mean! This is nothing for the Great Grim! How 'bout that, ghosts? Is that all you got? ” Grim cackled.
‘ Oh Chunibyo and a tsundere? How original ’ Yuu thought.
“ Good job Grim, you're improving! ” Yuu lied.
Grim puffed up his chest at the compliment.
Wilde’s notifications brought them back.
[ Attention! The character [ Grim ] is starting to feel trust in you ]
[ Notice! The character [ Dire Crowley ] is coming this way ]
‘ Oh yeah I forgot about that, ’ Yuu reminisced.
Footsteps stopped. Spun in a circle. Then walked up the stairs. And Crowley made eye contact with Yuu.
“ Yuu, there you are, in another gesture of my immense kindness I’ve brought you dinner. Wait. That’s the creature we ejected for causing trouble at orientation! What is it doing here?! '' Crowley came right on time. Yuu had to get Crowley to extend his kindness to Grim. Fortunately Grim didn’t need Yuu to speak up for him.
“ Takin’ care of yer ghost problem, that’s what. You’re welcome, by the way! ” Grim explained.
‘ Huh save me the trouble of explaining thanks Grim I guess you do deserve a tuna ’ Yuu looked down at Grim.
Unfortunately Yuu had to eat the words of their thoughts from earlier ’ -it was Grim’s word against theirs so Grim would have never been taken seriously ’ Cursing 1 hour younger Yuu.
“ Well headmaster, it is just as Grim says actually ghosts appeared and offered to pay, they didn’t like the price, however so we had a wee bit of a scuffle but all matters were taken care of. ” Yuu explained.
Crowley was looking like he didn’t buy the bullshit Yuu was offering. But hey Yuu would derail the conversation all they can they were going to be petty for Crowley letting them stay in a house that holes in the roof.
“ … But you know, on that topic, I do seem to recall that this dorm had a mischievous ghost problem. ” Crowley started.
And that gave Yuu another reason to be petty.
“ Ah yes… That’s why it was abandoned, in fact. The ghosts scared away all the students. ” Crowley commented further.
‘ Hold on, kids got scared by the marshmallow man? What kind of kids are these? ’ Yuu had little to no hope for the future of this current generation.
“ And you’re saying that you two joined forces to drive them away? ” Crowley ended.
‘ I mean bribery works I guess as joining forces ’
“ Joined forces' ' ain't exactly how I’d use to describe it. More like I drove’em away and the human watch- ”
“ I’m sorry, who was it that was aiming with their eyes closed? ” Yuu could handle being interrupted really they were and they let Grim off the hook for interrupting their thought process however trying to take credit for something that was a COLLABORATION? Yuu doesn’t work like that.
“ Anyways the only way I could have gotten Grim to listen to me was by offering him tuna anyways. ” Yuu soon realized this was a mistake.
“ Wait a minute… I never got those cans of tuna ya promised! ” Grim complained.
‘ That’s rough buddy ’ Yuu thought.
“ Would you two be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me? ” Crowely asked. And Yuu saw an opportunity for money and a disadvantage. This meant that Crowley took interest in Yuu’s leadership for being able to make Grim listen. However, because Crowley decided to put Yuu in a home that was quite literally falling apart, that meant that the jobs wouldn’t even be worth the money.
“ One, no, ‘cause I already wiped ‘em all out. And two, no, ‘cause where’s my tuna?! ” Grim was being a child again. Yuu was starting to sense an oncoming migraine that would happen in the indefinite future
“ I will play the part of the ghosts. As for the tuna, you’ll receive it when you defeat me. Oh, what generosity, Crowley… ”
‘ Why is he referring to himself in the third person? ’ Yuu deemed Crowley funny but weird.
“ Now to chug this transmutation potion! ” A bottle was heard being opened and chugged.
“ Now hold on, you just carry that around? ” Yuu questioned.
Yuu was ignored as a bright light blinded their vision. Where stood Crowley was now the marshmallow man with his mask and that same tophat that Crowley wore.
To put it simply he looked ridiculous. At first glance it was funny but staring at it for too long would surely cause damage to the soul.
“ Ah, you gotta be kiddin’ me. I gotta work together with the human again? ” Again Yuu would have to use a dash of persuasion to make sure that Grim did his job.
“ Do it for the tuna Grim. Do it for the tuna. ” Will he accept the olive branch?
“ Hrmph. All right, but this is the last time. And I better be up to my jowls in tuna afterwards! ” He grabbed it tight.
---------------------------------------------------------
It went as well as Yuu predicted. They were able to make guesses on where Crowley was going to scare Grim and they were right. Though they felt sad that Grim wasn’t all that strong to cause any damage to Crowley, but Crowley most likely would have scolded them so you win some you lose some.
Grim was panting out of breath communicating with the bird man till they heard this from Crowley’s mouth.
“ -I’ve never seen anyone bend a monster to their will quite the way you have. ” Crowley complimented.
‘ If you knew half of what I was thinking you’d sue me for discrimination ’ Yuu held a blank face.
Crowley continued.
“ I must confess, my educator’s intuition did sense something about you after that brouhaha at orientation Yuu. ”
‘ Well shit did I get caught already? ’ A cold sweat ran down Yuu’s neck.
“ I could tell you had a certain animal trainer-y, beast master-ish quality to you. Oh yes. That said I… ”
‘ OH THANK HELL I WAS NOT FOUND OUT THAT QUICKLY! Wait, the hell you mean trainer-y, beast master? I am not taking care of kids. ’ Yuu grimaced ‘ Wait [ Authority ] was able to be used on Grim but Grim struggled against it. If what he says is true then no one has ever tried to BRIBE a monster. They just used a skill on it. ’
[ Congratulations! You are correct. No magician has ever tried to attempt to use a monster’s power by bribing. The most common method is using the skill [ Authority ] or training as an infant ]
[ This achievement will be noted in [ Record of Accomplishments ]
‘ Noice noice. Wait for this plan to work… bullshitting go! ’
“ Would it be possible for Grim to stay here with me? ” Yuu spoke out.
And Crowley's answer was something to be expected to say the least.
“ WHAT? A monster, stay HERE? ”
“ Woah, did you just…? ”
‘ Yes Crowley that is what I just said. Yes Grim I need your power if I wanna get done with this thingy quest Isekai ’
“ What if there are more ghosts? I have no possible way of collecting rent if they chose not to pay up. ”
“ Hmmm… I suppose I cannot deny your plea. Very well. ”
‘ This is going by too well, something is about to happen. ’
Yuu could hear Grim jumping from joy only to be interrupted by Crowley.
“ Now let me be clear! I have no intention of allowing anyone to be enrolled into Night Raven College with the Dark Mirror selecting them - especially a monster! ” Crowley proclaimed, shattering Grim’s dreams.
‘ Huh. Y’know when he says ‘ especially a monster ’ the wording feels racist ’ Yuu didn’t like that.
“ Nor do I intend to allow you, Yuu, to freeload until you’re able to return home! ”
‘ Now hold on you spot-throated babbler, who the hell said I was going to freeload? I intend to make myself useful to not be expendable ’ Yuu screamed in their head.
Outside Yuu simply stared and nodded.
“ Hrmph. Never shoulda got my hopes up… ”
‘ That’s okay Grim, keep them dirtlow so that way you’re never wrong and when you are you’re pleasantly surprised ’ Yuu would say this outloud but they needed to make sure Crowley wasn’t here to hear them.
“ Now allow me to explain. It was the Dark Mirror that transported you here, therefore this school does bear some responsibility for your well-being. So I will allow you to stay in this dorm free of charge. ”
‘ CROWLEY YOU WOOLLY-NECKED STORK! YOU WORM-EATING WARBLER! YOU WERE GOING TO CHARGE ME WHEN I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING WITH ME? ’ Yuu somehow felt the urge to punch Crowley and take a piss on his mask.
Yuu clenched their jaw and fists.
“ However, you will need to pay for your own food, clothing, and incidental expenses. As to how you will do so, penniless as you are… Ah. Ah ha. A fine plan. You needn’t be so nervous. I’m simply going to ask you to do a few jobs around campus. ”
Crowley placed a hand to calm Yuu down.
Yuu assumed that their bodies were shaking. No not from them being nervous. It was because it was taking every nerve in their body to stand still and not jump at the bug-eyed crow bastard and poke his eyes out. And he was close enough for them to do that. The temptation was there.
Alas Yuu decided to follow the plan and not assault the man in front of them.
“ From what you’ve done here including the kitchen and lounge I can tell you know your way around a broom ”
Correction Yuu knew how to give out orders and Wilde knew how to follow them. Yuu only did the hallway. But Yuu wasn’t about to tell him shit about Wilde. Never.
“ So what do you say to you two working together as a janitorial team? If you agree to that, I will make a special exception and allow you to stay on campus. ”
Yuu could feel their blood boiling. Suddenly they were craving bird. ‘ May the devil save your soul because I will fuck you over when I learned you gave me no fuckin’ choice but to clean. ’
“ I’ll also allow you to use the library, so that you may keep yourself entertained while you are here. ”
‘ How kind of you. You black-eyed fat pigeon. ’
“ How boundlessly charitable I am. Ah but only when your work is over, of course! ” Crowley ended his statement.
“ Whaaat? What kinda deal is that?! ” Grim complained.
‘ The kind you get from the States Grim ’
“ I wanna put on one of those sweet uniforms and be a student, not sweep up people’s junk! ” Grim protested.
“ If you’re not satisfied with my offer I can arrange for you to be thrown out again. ”
‘ Ah it seems I have to teach Grim not to oppose a higher power. Don’t want it to be like Amazon all over again. Screaming about rights and all… ’ Yuu’s list of chores was piling up already.
“ Myah?! … All right, fine! Let’s do it. ” The cat seems content to finally listen to orders.
“ Fair enough. ” Yuu lied. This had to be the worst deal Yuu had seen in decades.
“ Wonderful. ” Crowley removed his hand and stepped back from Yuu. A wise decision for Yuu was truly wondering how long he could think Yuu could handle his bullshit before sucker-punching him in the face.
“ Then I beseech you both… to work hard as the newest members of Night Raven College’s janitorial staff. ”
‘ Sigh… do it for the money. Do it for the money ’
And as Crowley dropped off the tuna he promised Grim in his paws Grim went off probably to explore the house. Probably to simply find the master bedroom to probably eat and sleep in private.
And he handed Yuu a bag of a sandwich and a cup of rice. Yuu placed the food softly on the floor and simply stared at Crowley.
“ I apologize for the commotion and trouble Grim and I caused. Please know that it was not my intention for the orientation to turn out like that. I imagine I will most likely be apologizing for more accidents that Grim and I will cause. But thank you for allowing us to stay here, Headmaster Crowley. Thank you for being so kind. ”
Did you expect Yuu to swear Crowley out? I would not expect you to lose sight of Yuu’s motivation so quickly. One Yuu was tired of lies. They would tell the truth when they could. Two Yuu needed to become close to the headmaster inorder to make their use great. Yuu had no power or influence and Crowley was their best bet of making something out of their life.
Crowley had a blank face. He did not expect this at least.
Yuu simply bowed, picked up their food and walked back down stairs. They would join Grim at a later time. Now they needed to pay attention to Wilde.
A plop was heard on the couch while Yuu was opening the bag.
‘ Wilde I need to ask you something I forgot ’
[ What is it? ]
‘ Who are the Seven? ’
[ The Seven are based on the 7 Villains of the fairytales from your world from Disney. Alice In Wonderland’s Queen of Hearts. The Lion King’s Scar. The Little Mermaid's Ursula. Aladdin's Jafar. Snow White’s Evil Queen. Hercules’s Hades. Sleeping Beauty’s Maleficent ]
‘ Ah I see. Tell me something about the Riddle kid. Was he based on the Queen of Hearts? ’
[ Affirmative ]
‘ Huh. Rose Red-Tyrant. And the Queen of Hearts was a tyrant and dictator. So I guess I can guess what Heartslabyul is like. ’
Scarfing down the rice as they thought.
Yuu now knew what type of world Twisted Wonderland was. Based on Disney. If Riddle was based off the Queen of Hearts that meant the six more people were based off Disney villains and roles. Either way Yuu now had a predicament. Tyrants don’t appear out of thin air that much was factual.
So what happened to make Riddle a tyrant?
Yuu scrunched up their face.
‘ Wilde tell me what time is it? ’
[ 1:45 AM ]
Yuu could hear Crowley leaving Ramshackle.
‘ Nice… I should probably go to bed.’
Yuu got up and walked back up the stairs. They’ve been awake for almost 2 days from pulling all nighters they just wanted to fall asleep. Letting their hand trail against the decaying wallpaper.
A creek was heard and there was Grim asleep in the middle of the bed, his face drowned in the tuna can. He looked like a child.
Yuu rolled him to the end of the bed and layed on the center. They were tired. Crowley and Grim alone made them angry at the injustice and annoyed. But now the nuisances were gone and asleep and Yuu felt nothing again. Well it was fun while it lasted.
“ G’night Grim. ’
‘ Talk to you later Wilde. ’
Yuu felt their eyelids shut.
‘ Finally. Rest ’